Chapter Text
In the end, everyone died. Well, to be fair, Steve wasn’t sure he himself kicked the bucket but he was definitely hurtling right towards a gruesome bloody end. And obviously El didn’t die and, actually, everyone lived. Steve’s head hurt just thinking about it. And his heart hurt too.
He was alone, like he often was, crouched on the roof outside his bedroom window, chain smoking, eyes locked on his swimming pool. In fucking 1983. Again.
He’d rushed over to the Wheeler household when he’d first found himself alive and awake in his parents house. Nancy didn’t remember anything. Nothing at all about the last few fucked up years. She had looked at him with alarm and pity, asking if he needed to be taken to a doctor.
He’d called robin in a panic. She hadn’t remembered him, not in a real way. Treated him like some stranger she vaguely knew from school not her platonic soulmate. He didn’t stop crying for hours after that one.
He didn’t know where El was. The lab had been shut down a few days after he woke up in his ‘83 bedroom with no ringing in his ears and no battle scars. He hoped she was safe, Hopper was MIA as well so maybe they were together again.
It was all real. It must have been.
Steve watched smoke curl from his open lips into the night air and tried not to think of the last day. Screaming Dustin and Robins names at their cold, lifeless-
Yeah, no, he wasn’t thinking about it. And he definitely wasn’t thinking about how no one fucking remembered.
He’s all alone, like he’s always been. And maybe that’s the way it was meant to go. Will is safe at home and Barb was walking around Hawkins High like she didn’t die in Steve’s pool. So if he had to be the one to hold the memories of a timeline like that, for others to carry on like it didn’t happen, then so be it.
Steve curled up in the blanket he had brought onto the roof with him, snubbed his last cigarette out, and waited for dawn to break. He’d be tired for school but he absolutely wasn’t dealing with the nightmares tonight. Not tonight anyway.
Xx
Steve sat in his car, hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles went white. Another day of walking the halls as his teenage self looking at the faces of people who didn’t know him.
He sighed, laying his forehead on the wheel as he took deep breaths. This really sucked. But he kept on going because even the glimpses he got of robin throughout the day kept his heart beating.
A sharp knock startled him out of his thoughts, making him jump and jamming his elbow into the door handle.
‘Hey Steve,’ Nancy’s too young, innocent face peered into his car.
‘Hey Nance,’ he breathed, trying to get his heart beating at a normal rhythm again.
‘You coming in?’ She smiled. She was being kind but he couldn’t escape the slight concern he saw in her eyes.
‘Yeah, yeah of course,’ Steve busied himself pulling his books and papers off his passenger seat and throwing himself out into the parking lot.
‘You doing okay today Steve?’ Nancy bounced around his car to walk next to him towards the school.
‘Yeah, I’m great,’ he muttered, craning his neck to catch a flash of an awkward band geek rushing through the doors ahead of them.
‘Okay great!’ Nancy all but shouted. She sounded forced, almost hysterical. He frowned at her as he held the door open for them both to slip through into the crowded morning hallway. ‘Well, I was just thinking. We haven’t seen much of each other recently.’
‘We haven’t?’ Steve had stopped walking to better give Nancy his attention. He was trying to be a better friend, more present but evidently he wasn’t.
‘Yeah! So I was hoping you could maybe come over tonight?’ She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked up at him under her lashes. A pretty blush dusting her cheeks. ‘To- you know, to help me study.’
Steve frowned even more at that. Because, what?
‘Uh, Nance-‘ he scratched the back of his neck feeling very awkward all of a sudden. He loved her once. He really did but this wasn’t his Nancy. Not really.
‘Oh! If you’ve already got plans that’s okay!’ She clutched her books closer to her chest.
‘No, no I haven’t got plans,’ he touched her elbow, moving them both over towards the notice boards in an attempt to have a slightly more private conversation. ‘I just, we’re friends right?’
Nancy looked down at her feet, flushing an angrier red this time. Embarrassment maybe. Steve felt like such an ass.
‘You know, I have a lot going on right now,’ He said quietly, trying to get her to make eye contact again. ‘I really need a friend, Nance.’
She looked up at this. Something flashing through her eyes. She looked determined, almost like her old self for a second. Or future self? Steve wasn’t sure on the terminology yet. Henderson would have helped with that.
‘I can be a good friend,’ she lifted her chin with a sniff. She looked both young and mature. Steve really loved her. But he knew he was never going to be up for a ‘study’ session like he was the last time he lived through the year.
‘I know,’ he smiled throwing an arm over her shoulders, walking them to their morning classes. ‘Thank you.’
She gave his arm a pat and a sad smile when he dropped her off at her class. She was such a better person than him. Even this young and this un-traumatised she could be there for him.
Steve walks to his class with hope blooming in his chest for the first time in weeks. Maybe he could build what he had like the last time around? Maybe he could have his family back?
Xx
Steve was staring at Robin again. Chin on his fist, staring across the cafeteria until his gaze landed on her. She was eating a sandwich and reading a book at the same time, periodically biting her thumbnail. God, his chest hurt.
He wanted to speak to her. He really wanted his friend back but he had no idea how to get there organically. She would be suspicious if he walked straight up to her demanding to be best friends. Maybe it was best to wait for Scoops to open.
Steve was absentmindedly rubbing at his chest, still staring across the room, when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. Steve froze and turned around to scold this disruption.
All words died in his throat and thoughts slipped from his brain. It was Eddie. Eddie Munson was stood above him, scowl on his face, looking towering and stern. Still all chains and leather but with less tattoos and slightly shorter hair.
‘Eddie,’ Steve whispered in reverence. He glanced at the hand still on his shoulder, fingers glad in chunky silver rings. The hand retreated immediately.
‘Oh, King Steve knows my name,’ Eddie was saying, leaning slightly forward so Steve had to lift his chin to meet Eddie’s death stare. ‘That might make things easier for you.’
‘Huh?’ Steve was sure his brain was malfunctioning. He was stuck on a loop, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
‘Don’t get any ideas, Harrington,’ he was poking a finger towards Steve’s chest now, almost touching. ‘Band geeks and freaks are not for the likes of your crowd.’
‘I-‘ Steve tried to suck in a breath. His hand came up to continue rubbing at his chest. His heart was threatening to beat right out of his chest.
‘I mean it, Harrington. Don’t mess with her,’ Eddie was trying to threaten Steve. Away from Robin. Fuck. Steve couldn’t help the smile that split his face. Eddie was so fucking sweet.
‘I don’t want to date Robin,’ Steve said slowly, almost whispering. He gathered his courage, nail bat in his minds eye, kids to protect, and wrapped his hand lightly around Eddie’s wrist.
The metal head’s eyes widened but didn’t pull away, letting Steve tug him to the bench beside him.
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
‘Hey,’ Steve said. ‘I’ve-‘ I’ve missed you. ‘I’ve wanted to ask you something.’
‘Look, Harrington, I came over here to try and stop your new creepy behaviour. Now that I realise you have completely lost your mind, I think I’ll be going.’
‘You’ve noticed?’ Steve felt so odd. Tingly happy and sad and excited all at the same time. Eddie came up to talk to him. Eddie. And he looked so different not covered in blood and grime. Adorable.
‘I- uh,’ Eddie stuttered a little over that. ‘Yeah, man, I notice when some creepy jock starts making creepy eyes at my friend.’
‘You and Robin are friends?’ Steve tilts his head, he didn’t think they had known each other that well before Verna.
‘Friend adjacent,’ Eddie waved away that point with his free hand. Because Steve still had a hold of his other wrist. He should probably let go. Soon. ‘I find your new found interest concerning dude.’
‘I wanna be her friend,’ Steve says. The childish phrase bringing heat to his cheeks against his will. God, Robin would laugh her ass off at him right now.
‘You- Harrington, have you been body snatched?’ Eddie leaned into Steve’s personal space. How Eddie of him, Steve thought. ‘Anything lay its eggs in your brain last night?’
‘What, no,’ Steve snorted.
‘Well you wouldn’t know about it I suppose,’ Eddie pointedly looked down at his wrist wrapped in Steve’s hand.
Steve lets go slowly, chest aching again, he doesn’t want Eddie to ever stop looking at him.
With the heal of his hand rubbing at his chest, Steve says, ‘I just thought I’d.. change things up, I guess.’
Shrugging, Steve dropped eye contact for a second, eyes landing on eddies hands which were now hung lazily over his knees as he leant towards Steve. He wanted to touch again. To grab both hands in his and beg Eddie to remember him.
‘Wonders never cease, I guess,’ Eddie said, starting to lean out of Steve’s space. Steve followed.
‘I wanted to ask-‘ Steve panicked. He just wanted someone. Someone to connect with. He wanted his family back.
‘I don’t really know her that well man,’ Eddie scratched the back of his neck, looking slightly awkward now. ‘Maybe cool down the stalking of younger girls though. Thought you already had something going on with that Wheeler chick anyway.’
‘No, Nancy and I are just friends,’ Steve rushed out. He wrecked his brain for something to say to Eddie. They hadn’t really talked that much in the original timeline. ‘Black sabbath!’
Eddie flinched a little at the raised tone. Eyebrows shooting up behind his bangs.
‘Black sabbath?’
‘Yeah, yeah Ozzy, right?’ Steve grinned at the dumb founded look on Eddie’s face.
Eddie tutted, rearranging himself on the bench, knees up. With his elbows on his knees, resting his chin on his laced fingers, he gave Steve a puzzled look.
‘Ozzy..’ Eddie whispered. Steve held his breath.
Please remember me.
‘This freak bothering you, Harrington?’ Tommy H’s arrogant, grating voice cut through their quiet conversation.
Steve, almost entirely having forgotten of Tommy’s existence, stood. And punched Tommy H in the nose.
Tommy, now on his ass in the middle of the cafeteria, spluttered, trying to stem the blood gushing from his nose with his hands.
‘What the fuck, Steve?!’ Tommy crawled backwards slightly as Steve stormed over. He fisted his hand in Tommy’s shirt, bringing their faces close together.
‘Don’t ever do that again,’ Steve whispered. ‘Don’t speak to me or any of my friends ever again, dickhead.’
‘What friends?’ Tommy spat.
Good point, Steve thought. He let go of Tommy’s shirt, shoving him back towards the floor, and straightened up.
The whole room was almost silent. Faces and faces and faces looking at Steve. Who turned around to meet Eddie’s bewildered form.
‘Ed-‘ Eddies eyes snapped to Steve’s from where he had been staring at Tommy. ‘I-‘
Nobody moved.
For the second time that day, Steve felt a hand land on his shoulder. Much rougher than the first.
‘Harrington,’ the hand, apparently, was attached to Vice Principle Dickinson. ‘Follow me.’
It wasn’t really a suggestion. Steve felt the hand on his shoulder grasp the fabric of his polo as he was yanked towards administration. He got one last look at Eddie, still frozen at the table they were sharing, before he was dragged out the room.
Fuck
Xx
Steve sulked through his detention. He had refused to explain himself to faculty members until they eventually wrote him up for a sententious everyday for the rest of the week. He didn’t really care and he wasn’t very remorseful.
Steve knew logically that Tommy was completely blindsided and he had made himself look like he was genuinely losing his mind but yeah, he didn’t really care. It felt good to hit him which Steve also supposed wasn’t very sane either.
Detention gave him time to sit with his thoughts though. Which mainly revolves around Eddie. Steve couldn’t remember ever having an actual conversation with Eddie before Vecna so this was throwing him.
He had been focusing so hard on the pain of losing Robin and Dustin that he hadn’t let himself think of Eddie. Not in a real way anyway. Even though he was here now, the upside down gone for good this time, he didn’t think he’d ever get over the guilt of leaving Eddie down there. Not ever.
Jesus though, Eddie looked good. So alive and vibrant and thrumming with energy. And they weren’t ever really close friends so maybe now they could be. He’d talk to him again tomorrow at school and then maybe he wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.
God how sad ugh.
Steve thanked his head onto the desk in front of him and groaned. This is boring and he’s sad but going home to his big empty house was even worse. He wanted to throw a pity party for himself. Sue him, he was fucking sad.
‘Don’t cry in detention, idiot,’ he muttered to himself. He bounced his leg while elaborate daydreams of getting all his friends back without any danger or heartbreak played through his head.
The clock on the wall ticked obnoxiously slowly. Steve just wanted to crawl into bed at this point and pretend everything was okay. Even though everything was okay and he should be so much more happier that everyone was alive and safe. He was happy about that. Right now though he could use a fucking hug.
‘Wake up, Harrington,’ Mr Robin’s stern voice threw at him from the doorway. Steve looked up at him slowly.
‘Yep,’ he said, popping the p.
‘Times up,’ Mr Robin’s came further into the room, hands on his hips. ‘Get out of my sight.’
Steve grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and launched himself towards the door.
‘Harrington,’ called Robins before Steve could make his escape. ‘Don’t let this happen again. Things like this can stick on your record. Affect future prospects.’
‘Noted,’ Steve nodded. He forced himself not to roll his eyes as he left. He couldn't care less about a future out of high school. He wanted to skip all the way to family video with Robin. Henderson barrelling through the door on slow shifts to annoy him. He wanted a lot of things, simple things, that seemed further out of reach than college and a successful career. He wanted his friends to remember him like he remembered them.
Steve found himself barrelling out of the school sucking in fresh air into his straining lungs.
Jesus Christ, he needs to get a grip. He needs a game plan. Get his friends back, get a life, move on.
Steve shoved his arms into his jacket, hands into his pockets, and brought his shoulders up to his ears, fighting off the autumn chill in the air. He walked towards the parking lot with his head down. What a sad sight.
As he got closer to his car, Steve looked up. There were a few cars still milling around, some people staying late for clubs he supposed. But the thing that stuck out, the thing that wasn’t a usual occurrence, was the metal head leaning again Steve’s car. Right there in the middle of the school’s parking lot.
Steve heart picked up as he walked closer, hands sweating. Eddie had a cigarette between his teeth, one arm slung over Steve’s car, tapping out a rhythm on the metal surface.
Steve approached slowly, eddies eyes boring into his. He had an unreadable expression on his face, fiddling with the cigarette in his mouth with his tongue as he watched Steve.
‘Harrington,’ he greeted.
‘Eddie,’ Steve began quietly. ‘Uh-‘
‘This is some twilight zone shit, man.’ Eddie flicked the butt of his cigarette to the side. ‘Wanna talk about it?’
‘You’d never believe it,’ Steve said. All the secrets in the world ready to fall right out of his mouth.
‘Mhm,’ Eddie nodded and then gestured to Steve’s BMW. ‘You can take me to my favourite spot and tell me all about it.’
Eddie winked as he jumped into the passenger seat. Leaving Steve blushing and fumbling with his door.
‘Step on it, Harrington!’ Eddie drummed on the dash. ‘I’ve got the refreshments and the night’s ahead of us.’
Steve grinned so wide it hurt. He buckled himself in, turned the key in the ignition, and swung the car out of the parking lot. Eddies wooping music to his ears.