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Slowly, I sat up. My head hurt, my body hurt, but as soon as I came to realize that was so, the pain vanished. I rubbed my eyes and sighed a tired sigh, my mind too foggy to form much in the way of a coherent thought right now. I heaved myself onto my feet and groggily looked around at my surroundings. The ground was covered in cold, blue grey stone, something like marble. While it was largely a floor of some sort, with areas that had steps leading to others, there were pockets where darkish grey dirt poked through. No plants to be seen, as far as I was aware, just white, carved stone pillars every once and awhile, the grey-blue floor, and the ruins of buildings every once and awhile. The place had this cold, sterileness to it, making it feel unfriendly and lonely. I went to wrap my arms around myself when I noticed that, although I had a general human shape, my body looked like a window to the night sky, and wherever I looked, or even moved myself, the starry sky remained. I stared at myself for a bit, shivering occasionally when a breeze whistled past the rubble nearby.
“Ah. I was afraid I had lost you.” A voice, calm and collected, spoke. It was hard to tell much given the calm low tone of said voice mixed with its androgenous ambiguity. I practically jumped out of my star speckled skin at the sound, only for a leather clad hand to rest on my left shoulder as they walked around to face me. “Be not afraid, for I simply came from the wrong direction.” They spoke, their hair a jet black, eyes to match, but skin so pale it was almost paper white. “Would it have been better if I came from the direction you were facing?” They asked softly, gently, almost as if the right words would send me running. I shivered as the wind whipped past me again. This individual was clad in a three piece suit, like the kind worn in old film noir movies, the only thing contrasting from the complete black of their outfit being their shirt. They are also wearing a black, hooded cloak, with the hood down, and a wide-brimmed hat of some fedora-like consistency, but one half of the brim, the left, is pinned to the rest of the black hat, which also serves to hold a small bundle of feathers: one red, one green, another gold, and another indigo. They noticed me shivering and moved to put their cloak around my shoulders, thus reveling a curved blade on a long staff, said blade folded into the shaft of the weapon, and much like the rest of this person’s garb, the silver colored blade stands out from the black of the rest of it. “You’re cold! Take my cloak, I can’t have you freeze, now.” They spoke with such softness the likes of which my memory-less mind has never encountered before.
“O-oh, uh, thank you.” I replied, pulling the thing around me to better hide my nude body. Once I found myself adequately covered, I looked up at them, their face bearing a gentle smile. “Who are you, if you’re willing to answer?” Though they towered over me by a couple feet, I watched as they crouched so they could get in line with my face.
“Well, little one,” they spoke with that same low tone and softness as before, their deep voice pleasing to the ear, “I am known as Null. Null Void.” They stood up and reached for their blade, unsheathing it and thus unfolding the blade. “people know me by the profession of Reaper.” They put away their weapon just as quickly as they had brought it out, and pulled up their left sleeve, revealing that, just two fingers’ width from their palm lay a tattoo, the mark a stunning, luminescent, swirling black and white. It’s a strange mark, one I find hard to describe, but it looks like someone turned an uppercase L into a scythe, and nestled a circle with a pointy bit into the crook of it.
“A… Reaper?” I asked as I stared at the mark.
“Yes, my dear.” They pulled down their sleeve, hiding the mark as quickly as it had been shown. “A Reaper.”
“Are you going to reap… Me?” I asked, nervous of the outcome.
“Oh, no no no.” Null replied. “I am here to guide you to your destiny, little soul.” They gently rested the black gloved hand that was on my shoulder onto my lower back and began to stand up again.
“Little… Soul?” I asked as I was gently pushed along, utterly confused. My head jerked to my right as I heard some screams. Violent screams from off in the distance, their origins unknown. “Wh… What was that?” I asked, freezing in my path from fear. Null looked over in that direction and simply sighed.
“Oh, looks like we have visitors here.” Null mused, as if this was a common occurrence. “I thought this version was largely uninhabited.”
“Visitors?!” My voice cracked from shock as I looked up at them.
“Why, yes. The Void has no rules about matching time with other dimensions. Sometimes, things happen here with people from different time periods from the same dimension. You may very well be a part of that dimension, say you so choose.” I just look up at Null and blink.
“What?” I stared at my hands for a brief moment, only to then look in the direction of the yelling. “Soul? Void? Version? Where are we, who are they? What are you? What am I?”
“My, my, you certainly have a lot of questions.” Null chuckled softly. It was a warm sound, but did nothing to soothe my mind as it ran like it was on fire. They moved their hand to the top of my head and gave it a few gentle pats, their gloved fingers weaving through my hair. “You, my dear, are just a soul. Your purpose isn’t within the Void, so you will get a body in the dimension you choose; I will explain more about that at a later date, trust me.” They crouched down so they were at eye level with me, only to then look towards the screams and sounds of battle. They stared off in the distance for a bit, appearing to study the sounds. “There’s… A small person, clad in a conical hat, who is great at Dark Magic. There’s another person of similar height as well, whose magics are tailored towards healcraft and deity calling. There’s someone with a prehensile tail, flinging his whole weight at the group’s various foes, using his speed, agility, and tail to cut their foes down to size. Another person is one of… A more furred disposition, their weapon of choice being polearms. There’s a knight with them, as well; he works with the pointy hat child to imbue his blade with various elemental magics. He’s loud and cranky, too. With them is a girl, same age as the tailed boy, who is trying her hardest to be useful; she has some self-doubt still, but she keeps fighting, for the sake of the monkey-tailed teen, if naught her own. One of the stranger members is one who fights with their tongue out; if you listen closely, you can hear that one eating what attacks them. And lastly, a loner of a man who not only can pack a mighty punch, but also throw weapons at great speeds and accuracy.” Null then looked back at me, eyes soft and full of warmth. “Though I know naught of what they are doing, they are too far away from us to be of any concern. I have a feeling we will never see them, not any time soon.” I watched as they got up and directed me to walk. “Follow. I have your other questions to answer still.”
“O-ok…” I replied and did my best to keep up with them, my mind racing still, but now partially focused on the idea of a monkey tailed teen. I watched as Null looked over their shoulder, only for them to laugh.
“I knew souls were impressionable, but I didn’t know that my words would influence your form so soon, Little Soul~.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, utterly confused, as I followed Null as we traversed the grey hued landscape.
“Your tail.” They smiled as they went back to looking forward. “It’s wagging~.”
“Tail? What tail?” I asked as we passed by some particularly hard to traverse rubble. I looked behind myself and gasped. Just like the rest of me, with that same starry look, a long, thick tail, almost as long as I am tall, stretched out from behind me. Sure enough, it was softly swaying.
“That one.” Null’s voice broke the silence. “Its base is as wide as the widest part of your thigh. I wonder if this means you’ll pick a tailed body…” I watched as they hopped down off of a ledge and then turned to face me, arms outstretched as if they intended on catching me. Nervous about the drop, which was less of an issue for someone tall like Null, I shook my head. I didn’t want to jump. “If you’re worried that I might be unable to carry you due to your weight, it is nothing I can’t handle.” I shook my head again. “Just jump. I will catch you, I promise.” I took a deep breath, took a few steps back, ran and… Jumped. With a soft thump, my body landed into Null’s gloved hands; it was strange to feel their hands pressing into the soft, spongy flesh of my sides, almost as if this was a new feeling… I had little time to dwell on it before they spoke, breaking the silence. “My, you are of a hefty disposition. Quite rotund, if I may add.” They set me down with a barely audible, obviously hidden, huff, my feet softly making contact with the cold marble floor. “Oh, how I should watch my words, lest my use of descriptors influence your spiritual form in directions you do not approve.”
“What? That I don’t approve?” I looked quizzically up at Null as we kept walking. “What do you mean?”
“Why, look at yourself, Little Soul.” They softly gestured at myself. “Don’t you look… Rounder, softer, wider, perhaps, than prior?” I halted at Null’s words and gave myself as good of an inspection as I could. Sure enough, my body was much plumper than prior, laden with thick curves and coated with soft, doughy flesh.
“I… I do.” I replied as we crossed a stone bridge.
“I ought to be lest descriptive. Your form is too malleable at this stage.” Null mused with a sigh as we walked further away from the cliff face. I poked and prodded at my body with pudgy fingers, inspecting my newfound girth. “Now, you wanted to know about what you are?” I nodded at Null as we approached a fountain, which somehow had clean water in it. Null stopped and sat on its rim. “Come. Drink the cool water while I explain.”
“Alrighty.” I replied, and went straight to the fountain’s edge and peered in. Not a coin in sight, so I cupped my pudgy hands and scooped frigid water, bringing it up to my lips so I could sip. While I sipped, Null spoke.
“You are a soul. A thing that usually returns to the soul cycle of your universe after death, but you are an important one, hence your presence here, in the Void, more specifically, Memoria.”
“Memoria?” I responded as I let my feet hit the ground again with a soft huff. Due to my size, I had to let my feet leave the ground in order to get a drink, but man, did that not feel too good, letting the fountain’s rim press harshly into my belly; sure, it’s the consistency of a marshmallow, but it still hurt. While I rubbed lightly at the tender spot on my belly, I looked at Null, only to watch as they stood and brandished their huge, ebony scythe. I stepped back a bit as I followed their gaze. “Pardon, seems we have an unwanted visitor.” I watched as a… Thing, made out of nothing but shadows and darkness came rushing at us, its body seeming to be an amalgamation of human and animal, all crammed into the overly rotund, obscenely muscled approximation of a behemoth dragon. And it was charging right at us. With a single swing of their scythe I watched as Null cut into the beast, and as soon as their blade went through it, the horrifying thing dissipated into a cloud of smoke that was swept away swiftly with the wind.
“Wh… What was that?!” I half yelled as Null put away their scythe with a click.
“Stupid apparition…” They grumbled. “I have no time for them right now.”
“That answers that, I guess.” I replied with a shrug as I watched Null sit back down. “But… What is an apparition?” I sat down on the marble floor as they returned to the fountain edge.
“Apparitions are beings created by the malice within a soul. They typically seek out the soul that the malice is from, but sometimes they seek out whatever spirits are nearest. That wasn’t made from you, though. Yours would be much different… I’m not willing to disclose what it’d look like, just not like that.”
<Great. I’m going to become lunch.> As soon as I thought that, my stomach complained about a lack of sustenance. I looked up at Null, eyes wide in embarrassment.
“You want a sandwich?” Null asked softly, ruffling my hair as they pulled out some parchment paper wrapped bundles from their satchel.
“Uh… Yeah.” I nodded, my tail wagging from being petted. “That would be good.” Null smiled down at me as they retracted their hand from my head.
“You’re rather friendly.” They mused as they unwrapped some of the packages, revealing a few long rolls of bread, a couple pounds of sandwich meats, various sliced cheeses, a monotony of vegetables sized right for sandwiches, and a few common condiments. “Like a canid of some sort. Do you like physical attention?” They asked as they pulled out a table knife, what most people think is a butter knife. I gave them a quizzical look.
“What?” I was confused, and hungry. Mostly hungry, though.
“Well…” They reached out and ruffled my hair again, this time bringing their hand to my right cheek, cupping it softly. “When I do this, your tail wags like crazy.” Just as I look behind myself to confirm that, I hear them sigh. “I shouldn’t have described you again. You now have paws.” I drew my eyes away from my wagging tail and back to Null, confused once more.
“Paws? What do you mean?” I looked myself over, only to stop and stare… At my feet. Instead of normal human feet, I had clawed, canid-like paws, five toes a piece, covered in soft, fluffy fur, and with thick, calloused pads; no dew claws, even. “Oh…” I carefully reached out and grabbed what are now my feet, er-paws. Yeah, feetpaws. Oh, man, yeah, this is weird. But… Also… Not…? I was right in the middle of inspecting between my new toes when I felt a soft tap to the top of my head.
“Sandwich?” I looked up and noticed Null holding a sandwich out to me. “I know you have a lot of questions, but I can only answer one more before we need to get moving again.” I reached up and took the sub sandwich from them. It’s a hefty thing, funny enough. “I know your new toes are interesting, but you need to eat.” I took a bite right as Null did so as well. “I didn’t know what you wanted, so I used everything. I hope you don’t mind brown mustard and mayo.” I wordlessly shook my head, my mouth full of the tasty sandwich. I swallowed my mouthful.
“It’s tasty. I like it.” I told them prior to taking another bite. I caught a glimpse of a small smile from them.
“You asked about Memoria?” Null asked as they took another bite. I nodded and kept eating. “That’s where we are.” They made a sweeping gesture at the area around us. “Memoria,” Null paused and swallowed, “is a place born from the memories of everyone from a certain dimension. There are multiple versions of Memoria, one for each dimension, and one for the Void. I thought we’d be in the one for the Void. Ahyroads, I chose this place because it’s less dangerous than Mementos.”
“Mementos?” I asked, my mouth full of sandwich. “Whash that?”
“A place, a section of subway station, actually.” Null replied, finishing their sandwich within a few more bites. “It’s largely red, and multi-layered, filled to the near brim with monsters, beasts, and representations of peoples’ consciousnesses. You are most likely to only encounter people from your home dimension, but even I can’t confirm that.”
“Greeeaaat.” I groaned as I stuffed the last of my sandwich into my mouth. “I don’t like any of that.” Null chuckled at my groan. I gave them a glare in response.
“Well,” Null hoisted themselves to their feet, “it looks like we’re both done, so why don’t we get a move on? I’ll help you learn to walk on those new digitigrade paws.” They reached out to help me up, but I intended to do so on my own, so I brushed away their hand. I got onto my hands and feet, and… Fell over trying to stand. I wasn’t used to standing n these pudgy paws, but even I thought I could do something so simple as standing. I tried again, but fell once more. Null grabbed me under my right arm and hoisted me to my feetpaws. I staggered, but their grip was strong; I did wince a little as their fingers dug into me in order to hold on. “Easy now, we don’t have far to go.”
“You sure?” I asked as we slowly shuffled forward. Null nodded and kept helping me shuffle slowly forward. We hadn’t gotten more than eight feet from the fountain when something reached my ears.
“Yes.” Null replied, seemingly oblivious to what I heard. I froze, trying hard to pinpoint what I was hearing. My sudden stop caused Null to lurch and almost cause me to topple. I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my right eye of Null looking down at me. “… Pointed ears…?” They whispered to themselves, sounding a bit confused as well. I tried my hardest to tune into what I was hearing, then it hit me: another apparition. It must’ve found me in a weakened state and decided to take advantage. I looked to, oh, about 10/11 o’clock from me, and sure enough off in the distance, was a shadowy, black shape. As it got closer, all while I was being slowly, and gently, tugged forward. Null wanted me to continue on, and it seemed they didn’t notice what I did. The shape, as it got closer, turned out to not even be of a beast, but someone small, lithe, and fast. As they kept getting closer, I was able to get a better look at them. The figure looked feminine, wide hips and all, and shorter than me by just a hair. Their hair was cropped, and I could see the glint of glasses on their face. No weapon, but a sense of dread made me fear the thing, as if it was causing psychological damage to my very core, as if my friends would be at stake, despite not having any memory of friends. I must’ve made some sort of noise, or been enough of a dead weight to carry, that they finally looked towards the same direction I was. And they saw it. Before I had time to say anything, it was a yard from me, and closing in at a creepy speed. Then, it was sliced into a puff of smoke. I gasped in relief, as if my body’s need for self-preservation made me hold my breath.
“That… That apparition…” I gasped, still a bit breathless from how long I had held it.
“That…” Null spoke, a bit gravely. “Would be yours.”
“MINE?!” I half shouted, only to get a stern look from them as a result.
“Hush.” They spoke as they put away their scythe. “You may call it back.” I didn’t get time to ask questions as I was guided on once more. My steps were still shaky on my new feetpaws, but for the next ten yards, it was silence. Not once did Null speak, so I was worried that they were mad at me, but as soon as we walked around a corner and past a half damaged wall, I spotted a gate. It was huge and ornate, but the same shades of pale blue-grey that the rest of the rubble and floor were. “Now that we’re far enough away, I can explain some things about… Your apparition.”
“Oh, I thought you were cross with me.” I replied as I looked up at them. They chuckled and ruffled my hair with their free hand.
“Oh, no, no. I just didn’t want it to find us so soon.”
“Oh, that’s comforting.” I was a bit sarcastic, but that got a chuckle out of them.
“Now that we’re where we need to be, I can speak without risk of us being found.” They turned to face me and dropped into a crouch, still gripping my arm in case I fell over again. “Considering that apparition was rather human-like in appearance, I have reason to assume something, or possibly someone, wracked you to the soul in your last life.” I was a bit stunned, and certainly nervous, too.
“R… Really?” I asked, looking at Null nervously. They patted me on my shoulder and slowly stood up.
“I’m afraid so.” They stated with a hum as they made a flourish with their right hand towards the gate. “But you won’t have to deal with those for very long, my dear. The Mother of the Void has a purpose for you.” As they lowered their arm, a series of eight rippling ovals appeared, seemingly suspended in the air, around us. I stared at them in awe, having never before seen something that rippled like water after a stone got thrown in and a portal, all at once.
“Woah…” I was stunned into a lack of words as I watched Null reach their arms into each portal looking thing, one by one, and proceeded to pull out a body from each. The bodies were curled into a fetal position, and floated in front of each mirror-like, rippling portal. The first body was of someone with ashe blonde hair, pale skin riddled in more scars than I could count, and bearing a thick, strong looking tail that’s covered in the same ashe blonde hair, the tail almost as long as its owner. The person, eyes closed peacefully like the others, was bearing azure blue cargo pants, brown and grey boots, a collared, sleeveless, white undershirt and a teal vest, and that’s what I could make out given how curled the figure was.
The next body, to the right of the first, appeared to be some sort of lupine, dragon creature, but it didn’t have any wings, instead having an extra set of legs, making them look like a paw bearing equivalent of a centaur. The main color of their fur covered body and head was white, the other parts, including antlers, slowly shifting through every color of the rainbow, even white, black, grey, and brown. The creature’s mouth was open, and even the tongue was cycling through colors, too.
To the right of that body, someone of a similar height to myself was curled, clothed in green, with ashe blonde hair, pale skin, and pointed ears. Hidden under a leather bracer on the right forearm, a metal shackle was affixed to the right wrist. If I focused closely enough, I could catch a whiff of a barnyard odor mixed with wet dog from them, as if they were a farmhand who just washed a dog about a few hours ago.
Right again was someone smaller than the elf farmhand in green, whose eyes were ringed by a mark of pitch black skin, making them look like they were wearing a mask. They were plump like me, but that’s where the similarities ended. Instead of hair, they had squid tentacles, eight in all, six royal blue and tipped purple that were slicked back, two that were purple, tipped royal blue, that were pulled into a ponytail. Their arms, and much of what non-hand, foot, and face skin they had was covered in multicolored, some even glowing, tattoos.
Next was someone who just looked like a plump human woman, roughly about my height as well. Her ears are pointed, and she’s turned to her right, showing the number 8888 tattooed in black on the back of her right ear. Otherwise, she was just nude. Next again was someone who looked like a royal blue and white female kangaroo, a gradient from navy to a pale, icy blue was visible on the tips of her ears, a navy stripe running down her spine matched the tip of her ears. And lastly, she had a huge, fluffy mohawk of ashe blonde hair and a paw print over the right eye that was barely distinguishable from her mane fur color.
Second to last was a huge, plump, canid creature with saber fangs a huge navy and white neck mane, and huge, royal blue ears with white insides. They had hair on their head styled like the human with the strong tail, the same color, too. Their feathered wings were no longer than their arms, with the right wing navy, left white. I couldn’t see what was on their back, but I had a feeling that markings were to be found. A strange crescent mark was near their right eye, and a triangle made of smaller triangles was on their right hand. Their fur was solid white otherwise, with a rainbow of tails, no two the same shape, color, and pattern, but all having fur and none having scales. A slight twitch came from their five toed digitigrade paws for feet; the marbled pale sandy pink and rich black pads were calloused, the black claws looking super sharp. I will be honest, I lingered on their finned, royal blue tail a bit too long.
Lastly, was someone short, probably three foot one, and rotund, with pointed ears, with a royal blue sigil on the right side of their face. With their skin pale, the scars that littered their body were hard to notice unless I got close. They had a youthful look, yet something told me they’re a legal adult. They had a pair of strange symbols, one on the inside of each wrist, two fingers’ width from the palm of their pudgy hands. They were both a golden yellow and made to look like they were made of roses and tulips, the tulips all yellow, but some of the roses were solid yellow, some yellow with pale pink splotches, others red. The symbol on the right wrist looking like a shield with a line down the middle, the other matching the symbol on Null: what looks like an uppercase L turned into a scythe, with a circle with a pointy bit nestled into the crook of it. They bore evidence of failed strangulation on their neck, and something told me that loneliness was something I would feel from them.
“These women are ones the Mother of the Void told me to call for.” Null spoke solemnly, as if this was the end of our time together.
“Call for?”
“Yes. She told me to bring these manifestations of potential, other dimensional bodies for you to choose from. There are more options than just these ones, so consider this “Page One”, if you will.” Null then stepped out of the ring of bodies, leaving me in the center. “You get to pick which one you’ll get to inhabit for your new life.”
“Will… Will I get to see you again…?” I asked. Null had been so kind to me, I didn’t want to just… Leave them behind.
“I am one woman whom you cannot pick.” Null looked forlorn, as if they, or she, as I now knew, didn’t want to say goodbye.
“So, you’re a woman…” I mused softly.
“That be true. Nobody bothered to ask, and since you had earlier, I figured I should tell you now.”
“But… What will happen to me if I pick one of the bodies to inhabit?” I gave Null a worried look, and she just sighed.
“I know naught about how exactly things will turn out for you with your new body, but I have a feeling, if the Mother of the Void likes you enough, you may be granted a wish when you next return to the Void.” She doffed her feathered hat and placed it over her heart; it looked as if she had gone through this before, and I guess, treated it like loss. “I am a grim reaper by profession, so you cannot ask for me to join you, I am sad to admit.” I sighed at her words and locked eyes with her; now I was getting forlorn, too.
“I… I’ll miss you.” I told her, and watched as she donned her hat again. Something told me she was trying to hide her emotions.
“Heh… Now, I do not know if your memories of here will stay in the Void for you to collect upon return, or if they’ll disappear, never to be remembered again, so I implore you to think carefully of your wish, of what you want the Void Mother to try and fulfil for you. I will do my best to relay it to her, if my work schedule will permit me time to do so.” I simply nodded and gave myself time to think, the many bodies gently bobbing in the air as they floated. With a sigh, I knew which body I wanted to pick, as well as my wish.
“Null, I don’t want to lose you!” I wailed somewhat, my voice twinged with sorrow, my face distraught. “You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met, and… And… I don’t want to lose that!” All Null could do was chuckle softly, her eyes obscured by the brim of her hat. “I don’t want to forget you!”
“Ah… But, my little galaxy, it is time for you to go. There is little time left for you to remain, but I will do my best to relay that to the Mother of the Void. Hopefully she… Will be benevolent, and we’ll get to have our reunion someday soon.” I sighed at her words and faced the body I chose, not wanting to cry when my new life was about to start. “Goodbye, my little galaxy, may your new life be fruitful.” And with that, I touched the body I wanted, and blipped out of existence with it, the rest of the bodies disappearing shortly after.
“Goodbye, Null. I want to see you again.” And then, I was gone. Who knows how long Null stood there, staring at the empty swath of Memoria that stretched on for seemingly forever before her, but she sighed, breaking the silence with words to the only person near: herself.
“I am Null Void, the only daughter of the Void Mother…” She whispered to herself as she let hot, salty tears, tears born from many lonely years of longing, drip onto her bots, her face directed towards the ground. “People don’t get born here, nor do they die. I cannot die… Which made me he perfect Reaper.” She looked up, back at the spot my feetpaws last touched. “She was the warmest soul I’ve ever met, so kind and sweet, yet lovably stubborn to boot…” Silence hung over her once again, but only for sixteen seconds before she dropped to her knees…
And cried.