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It was over, finally. He beat Benrey and everything would be fine now. Gordon could go back home,, well he lived in the dorms but that’s fine, he’ll find somewhere new. He’ll hangout with Joshua and move on, this’ll just be something he can talk about at dinners or reference later on his life, yeah, it’ll all workout.
It might all be over but in reality what does he do now? He doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not, he doesn’t even know if he’s himself. Maybe he should have just did what Benrey said, maybe that would have been enough.
He comes to his senses when he hears the ding of his gaslight come on, he groans and pulls out his phone, trying to type in a location while still in the heavy HEV suit. Gordon lets out a frustrated groan and flings it off to the side, trying to remember where he last saw one at. After a few minutes of trial and error, and speeding, he pulls up to a pump and hops out of his car, taking the nozzle and jamming it into his car, whistling to himself as he fills the tank. What time was it even? Where the hell was he also? Too many questions, too tired. He proceeds to zone out, staring at a small lizard on the ground near his foot, someplace warm, well no shit, he’s practically sweating his balls off. He instinctively clicks the nozzle and pulls it out, patting his HEV suit like it’s his casual clothes, oh shit money.
He looks around quickly, did anyone really care to be honest? You get gas back why the hell would it matter if he stole 100 dollars worth of it. He quickly slams the nozzle back into the station, hurls himself into the car, and drives away. Not knowing where to exactly, somewhere to sleep that’s for sure.
After hours of aimlessly driving he pulls up to a shitty motel, picking a few bucks off the floor of his car and grabbing his phone, he heads inside.
Luckily in a small part of his suit, his wallet was tucked away, thank god he didn’t lose that. He walks into his room and sighs, heading to the bathroom to try and get this thing off of him.
When he looks in the mirror he instantly freezes. Looking at his fucked up face, Jesus he looked like a mess. His eye was scratched pretty badly, which explains the blur in his right eye, his entire was was cut up, bruised, scarred, you name it. He eventually looks down to his hand, yeah. Still a gun there, maybe that’s why they let him steal the gas and have the room for free, he needs to get this thing off soon. He taps in some random commands, bullshitting his way through it, and letting out a sigh of relief as the suit releases its grasp on his entire body.
He yanks the suit off of him and places it to the side, amazingly, the gun comes off too! He doesn’t wanna take a look at his arm right now, that’ll be a later discovery. He draws a bath and takes off the long black compression top he wore under his HEV SUIT, black pants, socks, binder, you get it. He climbs in the tub and lets out a pleased noise as the hot water takes him in. When was the last time he showered? When was the last time he felt someone’s touch? Jeez that’s deep, but thinking about it, when was he actually held last. He closes his eyes and attempts to think through past memories with past lovers, his brain focuses on something else though. Not a lover really, more like an enemy. Benrey. He opens his eyes and groans, looking to the side to pull himself out of those thoughts.
But what would Benrey feel like? Without the HEV suit, maybe he’d be cold, bitter, like lemons and everything sick in the world. Or would he be warm, like a hug from the person you love most after you have a rough day, or a cup of hot chocolate after shoveling snow. He closes his eyes again. Was he too hard on Benrey? He told Gordon he just wanted to help them but did he have to be such a nuisance at all times? He furrows his eyebrows. Why does he care so much about Benrey anyways, he was a dick to him. However he did make him laugh all the time, even when Gordon was pissed off he always chuckled at a witty joke Benrey spit out, or just random gaming nonsense he mumbled when they were finding their way through Black Mesa.
Gordon wouldn’t ever hear those jokes again, or the Sweet Voice. Benrey was gone, and somehow everything was worse.