Chapter Text
**Trigger Warning**
**Mentions of assault, child loss, affair and mentions of a sexual nature**
The transport shuttle lurched forward roughly as it began its final descent into the Starkiller docking bay, causing you to abruptly grab ahold of the harness that locked you into your seat. Normally the short flight to base was not bothersome, but today you couldn't help but feel the anxiety grow in the pit of your stomach.
"You all right Duchess?" The storm trooper across from you ventured, seeing your knuckles whiten as they gripped tightly to your harness. You faked an appreciative smile, "Of course, just a little rougher than I'm used to."
The trooper simply nodded but didn't bother to respond and you were thankful for his attention to leave you so you could spend your last precious moments getting your nerves in place.
The past few weeks had been an absolute whirlwind. Not only had Supreme Leader Snoke been murdered by a fellow apprentice, that apprentice now claimed that stolen title. You had never met Kylo Ren in person, but like everyone in the First Order, you were well aware of his reputation. As for you, Snoke had taken you on under his wing in efforts to hone and utilize your unique skillset of force bending.
By doing so you were an asset that allowed you operate a section of the intelligence unit that became a subset of the First Order's spy ring, one that has already proven successful. Unfortunately due to the sudden shift of power within the First Order, some of your most valuable informants were put in jeopardy and two were even terminated. Now you had to do everything within your power to keep your informants safe no matter how unpredictable Supreme Leader Kylo Ren might be.
Another hard lurch and the engines of the shuttle powered down swiftly. Those around you briskly arose from their seats and you quickly followed suit. No more time to worry, pull yourself together. With one last deep breath you strode to the back ramp that was now descending, releasing you from the belly of your shuttle. The moment you exited your sights fell easily on the gingered man waiting for you at the end of the loading bay.
"Duchess," greeted General Armitage Hux with a slightly annoyed frown as he outreached his hand to take yours.
"Brother," you responded with matched vigor.
He unceremoniously kissed your hand before gladly dropping it. "I hope your trip was uneventful," he continued more business like now, "though I must warn you the second half of your visit is likely to be troublesome." You couldn't help but grant him an amused smirk, "I expect nothing less. Though I do hope this trip won't be for nothing, I am rather busy these days." Your brother eyed you questioningly, but made no move to recant you. "This way," he directed, turning toward one of the large open bay doors.
You and your brother, well half-brother to be correct, had always had a challenging relationship. Your slut of a father had created the bastard with one of the kitchen maids, while your mother was his by law-wed wife. However, that didn't stop him from favoring, if you could call it favoring, your male sibling over yourself. Commandant Brendol Hux may have been brilliant military leader, but he was easily the Supreme Leader of shitty fathers. Armitage at least trained at the Arkanis Academy, no doubt in hopes he would be the one to take over the family right.
As for you, your family mainly kept you under wraps due to your..... unusual abilities with the force. Your abilities allowed you to force connect with those around you in an underhanded manner. You found you could feel where people were without knowing, physically compel and by the age of 13 discovered you could read into people's minds by simply touching them when deeply focused. The problem was, your abilities were not like those of the Sith. Yours were delicate, unnatural and uncommon in their methods. It was because of this your father decided a politically intellectual education was more suitable than a physically military one like Armitage's. You could be a far more deadly weapon if those around you remained unaware of what you were capable of, a notion that Snoke seemed to act on as well.
For this very reason you had always felt a hint of jealousy for your brother, though you'd never admit it.
"Its just this way," Armitage's voice brought you back to the task at hand. Though you had the same father, you two were drastically different in every other way. Where Armitage was physically imposing, slender and tall, you were short, buxom and threatening in a mysterious manner. Something you secretly liked about yourself except in situations like this when you had to double time it just to keep up with him.
The click of your boots gave you a pleasant sense of power as you rounded the corner after him. It's the little things, right? Good, you needed that confidence for what was ahead.
Armitage stopped abruptly signaling your troopers to stand back before he half turned to you and in a low hushed voice warned, "Be careful of Ren. Don't let him in, he has a bad habit of that."
Before you had chance to even decipher what he meant by that he keyed the padlock, opened the heavy metal door and lead you inside. Immediately you noticed how cold it was, and dark. Ominous red lights lit the undersides of the bare walls and just ahead of you stood an immaculate glass windowed wall that allowed you to see the glory of the galaxy beyond it. Standing there, back to you was a rather tall figure, you already knew who it was. The anxiety in your stomach was almost unbearable at this point.
"Supreme Leader," Armitage announced very businesslike, "I have brought you Duchess Y/N, member of the First Order's intelligence ring."
Kylo Ren lifted his hand, dismissing your brother, who shot you a slightly uneasy glance before exited the room. That anxious weight dipped in the pit of your stomach when he did this. Particularly when the doors closed behind him, leaving you alone with this murderer. Had the air been visible, it could have easily been cut with a knife.
"So," Kylo began, "I see we have some acquainting to do."
For some reason you were caught off guard by just how deep and modulated his voice was. You gave a gentle curtsy before approaching him a few steps, "Your Grace, It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
A hearty snicker escaped him as he turned around to face you finally, his hands clasped firmly behind him, "I feel as though I should be addressing you in such a manner."
A small aura of something rolled off him and lapped up against you the way waves would along a shore. You'd been in the presence of many who had great gifts with the force, but this was something else. Kylo noticed your perplexed expression, keenly aware you could sense him just as he could with you. It felt like an unnamed game of roulette, waiting for the other to slip up and give away something.
"Your title I mean," he continued, drawing your attention back to the conversation, "Duchess. Clearly that doesn't come from your family since your brother is merely my General." That couldn't help but draw a prideful smile to tug at your lips.
"By marriage your Grace," you explained. "I'm wed to the head of interrogation, Duke Thiad." Kylo nodded in thought, now striding up to you with cool collected measure. Again you felt a wave of energy roll over you, intrigue maybe? Or suspicion? He hid it very well even if you could sense it. It felt like trying to read something in an unfamiliar tongue. You knew what language it was, you just couldn't translate it. This was something you only ever experienced in the presence of Supreme Leader Snoke.
Kylo stopped about a 2 paces in front of you, his helmeted head tilted downward, making it obvious he was taking a good look at you. Knowing what he was capable of and the fact you could now feel his presence in the force so strongly felt somehow uncomfortably intimate, an invasion of sorts.
You also hadn't been prepared for how looming he was. The man was easily a head taller than you, even in your heeled boots. This forced you to have to lift your head to look him in the [masked] face. That combined with the fact he was built like a tree, thick and hulking, mixed with the force presence caused literal goose skin to rise over your flesh. You'd know plenty of intimidating figures in your life, hell your husband was the worst one, but something unknowingly dangerous about Kylo Ren caused an alarm inside you to alert. Your gut was yelling at you to run.
"Yes, I'm well aware of your husband," he confirmed confidently. "Both who he is and what he does for the First Order. Though from what I've heard his cruelty doesnt stop at work."
A heavy shot adrenaline hit you and you couldn't help but stare up at the man for a split second before snapping back into your usual diplomatic mode. "I've not been made privy to those rumors your Grace," you lied. He knew.
Kylo felt the low pulse of unease radiate from you. Another snicker, "I'm sure you don't. Regardless, we are here to discuss the matters of the spy ring and where it left off after the unfortunate demise of Supreme Leader Snoke."
Good, he was finally getting down to business.
"Whatever it is you wish to know I will concede as long as it puts none of my contacts in a jeopardizing position," you insisted openly. "Unfortunately a few have already been terminated due to the...... unexpected death of Snoke."
Kylo nodded, "Unexpected indeed, but what interests me most is why"
You blinked slowly, a bit confused, "Why what?"
"Why Snoke chose you," he continued unwavering. The way he said this was almost accusatory and shifted the tension in the room. "What exactly is it about you that made him take you on as another apprentice? Even more so why he saw you fit enough to be put in a position of power in one of the First Order's most critical units. As far as I'm concerned you're simply a noble women who has a gift for politics, not the force."
You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, beginning to pace around you like a pensive animal. "I'm relatively aware of your abilities, but you are neither Jedi nor Sith. Physically you could easily be dominated, so enlighten me, what is so special about you."
You swallowed, your mouth suddenly felt dry as a desert, "He told me he saw something in me," you began honestly. "I assume like you, there's something deep inside of you. Something dark, an ability that he knew could be useful. I'll admit I wanted nothing to do with Snoke when he first summoned me, but if I'm honest he pulled me back from the brink. Snoke knew my position was unassuming enough to give me an advantage, to give the First Order an advantage. It was my duty to comply. What place do I have questioning his intentions?"
A low hum sounded from Kylo behind you before he abruptly grabbed the back of the neck. Out of shear reaction you struggled against him with surprise. However, just as you had many times before with Thiad, the conditioning took over and you desisted. You let yourself zone out knowing that you couldn't stop him. Whatever was about to happen just let him get it over with and go to a place away from here.
"No, no," Kylo compelled firmly, maneuvering you around so your head was tilted back to look at him. "Don't dissociate on me." Despite your best attempts you were pulled back to the present and begrudgingly obeyed. You weren't really sure what you expected him to do, gods know you'd heard plenty of horror stories. For some reason you just assumed he was about to hurt you, drill into your head for whatever he was looking for. Instead you sensed questioning interest from him, as though he hadn't expected you to react the way you had. Then slowly a strange pressure began to build within your skull as he started to breach into your mind, searching for a better answer to his question.
"Perplexing," he breathed, leaning in just a hair closer, but doing so made the pressure in your skull build significantly. You winced at the ever-increasing discomfort. "I wouldn't expect an apprentice of Snoke's to shrink from such a motion." Your jaw unconsciously clenched. By this point his forehead was almost touching yours, the chill of his metal mask cooled the nervous sweat of your brow. Whether you liked to or not you could feel him sifting easily through your mind. Turning over memories you'd rather no one be privy to like worn pages of an old book.
Your past, your present, your husband, his temper. More clawing, he was going deeper. "Stop," you whispered almost in a trance as you too were forced to relive the memories he was pulling from you.
"Not just yet Duchess," he mumbled lowly as he focused on the task at hand. His voice deep and oddly soothing as the pressure in your head mitigated slightly, almost as though to calm you down as he went farther back.
Another flash, now a wave of scorching devastation melted over you like hellfire as the one of your darkest memories was pulled from the deepest cavern of your mind. The death of your son. The images were coming at rapid fire. His death, his life, his birth, his father. His REAL father.
Kylo had found your trigger point. The same one Snoke had used. Next Snoke flashed through your head, "Death is but the beginning my dear," he had comforted, one decrepit hand grasping your shoulder as you sobbed before him. "Let this devastation consume you and make yourself unbreakable. Your pain will be your power."
Even though you weren't using your abilities you could feel the all to familiar effects shoot through your veins, knowing full well Kylo was feeling them too. That gods awful sickening rush flowed through your chest and pulled you down into that black abyss at your core where you kept your demons locked away until they were needed.
"Please," you insisted now, not wanting to be exposed to them, not now. But Kylo dug in deeper with intense interest, knowing this must be the answer he was looking for.
Like a bolt of lightning your senses snapped to and you slammed the door to your mind faster than you ever have in your life. Kylo flinched back in surprise, staring down at you as though you were crazy for daring to shut him out. You glared up at him, shaking with a mixture of rage, fear and horror.
"Do not ever venture inside my head!" You hissed bitterly, one finger pointing to his face. "There are memories even I refuse to relive much less share with greedy minds!"
He was dead silent, whether from your audacity or sudden demeanor change you couldn't be sure.
"You realize your efforts would be useless if I truly needed to get what I wanted," he finally responded. His presence still looming but no longer overtly threatening. Regardless, you couldn't trust it completely. Kylo's hand gently clenched and unclenched in warning around the back of your neck, "To me your mind is a closed but unlocked door. I could simply turn the handle and let myself in and there's no way you could keep me out."
Bastard! Obviously you knew that to be true, yet still you had to pull it together. You steadied your breathing and let your face relax to an emotionless mask as you had trained yourself to do so many times before. "Does that mean you wish to be among those who have already violated me?"
Kylo physically pulled back at your wording, but that's exactly why you used it. "I have no such intentions," he relied firmly.
"Oh?" you breathed, keeping your eyes firmly locked on his mask, "then remove your hand from me and exit me."
Like a child being caught in the act, his hand retracted from your neck and he took several steps back, leaving you space to collect yourself. "I meant no ill intent, Duchess," Kylo reinforced, "I simply needed to confirm my suspicions."
Now you scoffed as you backed away as well, "and what would that be?" His momentary silence was critical before he responded flatly, "what it is you're capable of and how it is so. I needed to know if I could trust you. How i can use you in ways Snoke couldn't."
Now a hot flame ignited in the pit of your stomach, so brilliant you thought you might breathe fire. "And can you?"
"Yes I believe so, because I now know your deepest held secrets."
You swallowed roughly, fighting to keep your mind blank but a cold rush came over you nonetheless. "What would that be your Grace? Everyone already knows I've lost my child."
Kylo shook his head slowly taking a few paces closer but to your side now as if he were about to leave the room. "That's your most painful one," he confirmed. "No, I'm talking about the first love you had before him." The fire in your stomach extinguished in an instant and you feared you might faint on the spot. He must have sensed the change because a gentle chuckle escaped him. "See, don't play coy Duchess. You know exactly who I'm talking about."
You stared stiffly past him to the giant window, jaw clinched in pique. "Don't speak of things you don't know," you warned.
"What's not to understand? Your only child wasn't that of your husbands. You bore a bastard and let your husband believe it was his. All in the name of what, love? Tell me Duchess, did the transport scum truly love you if he let you be married off to...."
Your hand swung out and struck Kylo Ren's little punk ass face before you even registered you wanted to hit him. The sound it made was remarkably loud for such close proximity and left your hand absolutely screaming from making contact with the hard metal of his mask.
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF MY DEAD!" You snapped viciously, turning on him and squaring up despite the fact he could quite literally snap your neck like a twig without touching you. "You know nothing of that pain so don't dare use it against me! Everything I have ever held dear has been ripped from me, so I fear no pain or death. NONE!"
The last words left you breathless as you glared at him defiantly, eyes glassy as you fought furiously to hold back tears. This wasn't going at all how you'd planned, you'd messed up at every turn. The Supreme Leader just watched you silently for what felt like forever. In all honesty you expected him to return the favor. A counter slap maybe, force hold choke you, light saber to the chest perhaps, but his reaction wasn't at all what you expected.
"I do know," he simply muttered, a tinge of humility lined his calm modulated voice. "And now I understand where your power is sourced from."
His words caught you off guard but something about them utterly disarmed you. You could sense the undeniable sincerity, making the developing knot in your throat grow even more.
"What?" you muttered in frustration, grasping to understand his sudden shift but he wasn't about to answer that question.
Kylo straightened his back and cleared his throat. "I will let this little outburst slide seeing I've overstepped the boundaries of a Lady," He confirmed before turning to quit the room. A quick wave of unease shot through you, leaving you second-guessing his words.
"Wait! Your Grace!" You began as you followed after him, but Kylo merely lifted his hand to stop you just before he exited.
"Let your anxiety ease Duchess. What has been spoken within these walls will be held in confidence." He observed you for a quick moment before continuing, "I trust our relationship will be on more...... understanding terms from now on."
You nodded automatically, even if you didn't comprehend why he was letting you off easy after what you'd just done.
"Good," with that he stepped out into the hallway and left you standing alone in that dark room with fresh tears threatening to wet your face like a confused idiot.
What the hell had you just done?! What have you gotten yourself into?