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YEAR 2048
A L Y C A
Living in the Border was not originally in Katsuki’s plans.
He was supposed to graduate from the Academy with high honors and be the best fucking hunter that ever existed. He was supposed to be great, and not a lame-ass exiled living out of leftovers with nothing but a dumb nexus 7 in his pocket and between trash in a small abandoned house.
What a way to live in the fucking XLVIII century, huh. Broke and out of Erion.
There weren’t many sane exiles either, so Katsuki was basically alone in the middle of no-fucking-where surrounded by weirdos.
When he discovered his supposedly neighbor stealing his food for the third time in a week, just when he went out to take a look near The Walls, he decided to move out of there. He packed up his things, went to grab some decent stuff in the market and walked out of there. He didn’t need this shit, thank you very much.
However, moving to where no crazy thieves were seen meant moving near The Forest, a more quiet and lonely area, and he found out that there were other problems that came with that.
Alyca was a big planet, but there was either Erion (the city) or the Border, which encompassed a few kilometers of a very desertic land out of The Walls and then The Forest. Now, there were two reasons why The Walls were there: one, so the exiles could never come back and step into their futuristic utopia and ruin it, and two, to keep away the therions, commonly known as savages by the Erion people. Not earthlings, but Alyca’s original habitants. Aliens, if you must.
Right now, though, there was one sitting on Katsuki’s rickety sofa.
Great. Fucking peachy. Katsuki can’t go out to hunt something to eat because one of these will break into his house. Great.
“Oh, so there was a human here,” the therion says, in a perfectly understandable language, standing up to face him.
Katsuki blinks.
He had heard rumors and legends about the therions all his life since he was a kid — had grown up listening to the myriad of horror fairytales about them they told kids to scare them to sleep; and watched films about them since he was in diapers.
This therion, though — he’s not like aliens are supposed to look like. He doesn’t have any weird antenna on his head or strange tentacles instead of hands; he’s not green (not in his entirety at least), and he doesn’t have weird as hell black big eyes. He doesn’t have claws nor horns, like the fairytales said. Nor is he five meters tall, like his grandparents’ legends used to mention.
He has little spots all over his skin, resembling of what freckles look like, and big, doe eyes, shining the same bright green as his curly hair. He was barely smaller than Katsuki, too, although with a bulkier frame.
What the hell. He almost looked… human. A simple guy. If it wasn’t for the six fingers and pointy ears and slightly glowing skin, Katsuki would have thought he wasn’t an alien.
“What the actual fuck,” Katsuki utters, stunned. Then, when the therion comes closer— “Drop that!”
He regains his composure — years of training a muscle memory at this point as he lifts up his nexus in a second and, in the next, he aims it at the alien’s head.
“Drop that right the fuck now or I’ll shoot you! You hear, alien?”
The therion blinks, looking down at the long knife swinging on the palm of his hand. “…Is this so dangerous?”
Katsuki frowns. “I said—”
“Oh, a human,” a voice behind him says suddenly, and Katsuki doesn’t startle — he doesn’t, but. “That’s weird. We haven’t seen one in months.”
The therion in front of him lights up — quite literally. It’s like someone has sprinkled him with a copious amount of stars all over his body, his “freckles” glinting on the dim light of his house.
“I know!”
The voice behind him sounds equally exasperated and skeptical. “Why are you excited?”
“They’re fun!”
“Fun?”
“What the hell,” Katsuki says, turning around so he can have both of the therions on his peripheral vision. The second one is purple all over instead of green, with matching messy hair and smaller eyes — and he has claws. “You both talk.”
The purple one quirks an eyebrow.
“We speak multiple languages, human,” he says, in a monotone voice that almost sounds mocking. “Something that someone from your race and their poor little use of their brain cannot comprehend.”
“Hah?”
“Shinsou, don’t be mean.”
“Hmm.”
“Hi,” the green one says, reaching out one of his hands at Katsuki. This way, he can see the green pads on the tip of his fingers, “I think humans greeted each other like this…? We’ve been watching your species for many years now.”
“The fuck,” Katsuki says, speechless.
This is bizarre. A therion is trying to shake hands with him. What is going on? Is Katsuki asleep?
Green therion tilts his head. “You like that word.”
Purple one hums. “We could just kill him and leave him here, you know. He’s boring.”
“Shinsou is joking,” he says, hand still stretched. “We don’t kill humans.”
“Too easy,” the other one — Shinsou, apparently — drawls with a hint of a smirk on his face. Then, he turns around to look at the other instead of Katsuki. “I came because Aizawa is looking for you. You know you shouldn’t sneak out to human territories.”
“Oh,” he says, and just like that he’s trying to go out of Katsuki’s window behind his little purple friend.
Before he can make it out of Katsuki’s house, he swings on the windowsill with a wide grin. Katsuki can see the pointy teeth.
“I’ll come back, human!” he cheerfully says, and then he’s out.
What the—
Katsuki can’t just have a normal day, huh.
.
.
.
Turns out, the alien is not actually dangerous, as Erion people think.
He is just a huge ass fucking nerd. (And a goddamn headache.)
He’s apparently very interested in ‘human customs’, as he puts it, and won’t leave Katsuki alone for more than two days.
“You’re such a pain in the ass,” Katsuki tells him one day, and the little shit blinks at him like he doesn’t know what Katsuki is talking about.
He’s always asking questions, and being that he won’t shut the hell up until Katsuki answers, he’d reply, and then the nerd will go on a long, long ramble that Katsuki can’t follow.
He’s been visiting Katsuki for two weeks now, the parasite.
“What is that?”
“What the fuck!”
Katsuki jumps on his seat, alarmed.
“You really like that word.”
“Shut up,” Katsuki hisses, looking up to glare at him. “Oi, I told you to not quietly float over me, you dumbass.”
He tilts his head at Katsuki, the tease of a smile twitching his lips. Katsuki can see it even when he’s upside down and his curly hair is stupidly distracting, as much as his exposed forehead is. Maybe it’s because he’s too close to Katsuki, not knowing the meaning of personal space whatsoever.
“I don’t know any other way to float that is not quiet, Kacchan.”
Kacchan — apparently, something about Katsuki’s name was too hard to remember or to pronounce, or the alien simply didn’t care, because he has been calling Katsuki that ever since he told him his name.
“Hah-hah, smartass,” Katsuki deadpans. “Then floating is prohibited.”
Because yes. It seemed like some of them could simply do that — float around; and the nerd was one of them, and he enjoyed floating in silence around Katsuki and then asking the most random questions at the most random times and scaring the living hell out of Katsuki.
So, yes. Floating was prohibited.
“Ehh? But I can watch you very well from here.”
“Creep.”
“Hmm,” he turns upside down so he can finally stop floating and sit in front of Katsuki. “You don’t mind, I can tell.”
“Stop using that stupid feeling sensor on me.”
“What a weird way to call it…”
“Deku.”
His real name was Izuku, actually, but he told Katsuki in a hurry as he was leaving one day, and Katsuki didn’t quite catch his name properly. Then, Katsuki was too prideful and petty to change it, and Deku was apparently too amused that he got it wrong to tell him off for it.
Or maybe he just liked people calling each other by something that wasn’t their real names, if Kacchan was any indication of it.
“Okay,” he concedes. “It’s not like I can turn it off... I can just sense emotions when they’re too strong, and you feel quite strongly. Everything. It’s interesting.”
Katsuki scowls. “Stop making fun of me.”
“I’m not,” Deku shakes his head. “It’s genuinely interesting that you feel too much.”
Katsuki hmphs. “Whatever.”
Then, he proceeds to reach out for the fruit he threw over the table when Deku scared him.
“What is that?” he asks again, pointing at it.
“A goddamn banana,” Katsuki quirks an eyebrow. “What, you aliens don’t have these in your forest?”
Deku hums. “Not really,” he shakes his head. “They’re weird, what do you do with them?”
“We eat them.”
“Eat them?”
“Yeah,” Katsuki shoots, and something in Deku’s face is so incredibly hilarious he can’t let pass this opportunity. “Wanna try?”
Deku frowns, as if unsure to accept or reject the offer. He’s probably torn between his very apparent disgust towards the fruit and the curiosity to try something ‘human’.
“Okay…”
Katsuki smirks, and then peels it off and passes it to Deku. He takes it between his fingers and observes it carefully with a wary look.
“Are you sure you eat this…?”
Katsuki snorts. “Yeah, nerd. Pretty sure.”
Deku pouts, then proceeds to stuff his mouth with half of the banana in one go.
His face is a whole show as he gulps down the fruit, eyes turning red for a moment as he sticks out his tongue and coughs.
“Euuugh.”
Katsuki cackles. “Holy shit, your face.”
“That was horrible! How can you eat that?”
Katsuki downright wheezes, too amused at Deku’s disapproval expression.
“So, I take it like you’re not a banana fan.”
“Why does it taste like that?” he whines. “It feels weird on your tongue.”
He sticks it out and points at it, and Katsuki stares. His tongue is bright red and it’s pointy at the tip, like the half of a forked tongue. It’s a bit longer than Katsuki expected, too, and he’s suddenly overwhelmed with the weird urge to do something with it. Maybe touch it.
Eh.
He clears his throat. “Yeah, but you have a weird ass tongue, so…”
“Really?” Deku frowns, like he doesn’t understand the problem with his very distracting tongue. “Show me yours.”
“What,” Katsuki says. “No, Deku, I’m not a two-year-old.”
“Is showing your tongue a thing just small humans can do?”
“Why are you talking about poking out my tongue at you like it’s some sort of ritual?” Katsuki bristles. “Okay, then.”
He sticks out his tongue for about three seconds, feels cosmically ridiculous, and then sticks it back inside his mouth.
“There,” he frowns. “Happy?”
Deku’s eyes have brightened up, like they always do when he’s particularly interested in something. “Do it again.”
“Wha—”
“Ohhh,” he says, balancing forward on his seat to look closer at Katsuki, “It’s pink.”
“Of course it’s goddamn pink, that’s what it’s supposed to be,” Katsuki says, and gulps down the way his heart skips strangely erratic when Deku leans even closer.
“I like it.”
“Weirdo.”
Deku looks at him, a kind smile forming on his face. “There are a lot of interesting and amazing things about you, Kacchan.”
Ah.
Katsuki breathes in, feeling the way his blood pulses a bit faster on his neck.
This is not good.
.
.
.
Alyca is not the Earth, and the sky is not blue — it is soft pink and bright orange and then pitch-black.
However, Katsuki can breathe here without a mask, and there are puffs of clouds when he looks up, and it still rains.
Katsuki doesn’t like rain.
Apparently, Deku does.
“I think you should come out of the house!” he yells, grinning under the rain like a fucking psychopath. Katsuki has been watching him over his seat by the window for ten minutes, safely inside the house.
“No, thank you.”
“Why not?” Deku asks, like he always does.
“Because I don’t like it.”
“Why not?” he asks again, “It feels good!”
“Maybe for you, weirdo,” Katsuki shoots. “I don’t like being wet and cold and sticky.”
Deku rolls his eyes. “It’s fun! Humans never have fun.”
“Hah?”
“You’re boooring, Kacchan,” he says, then smiles teasingly in Katsuki’s direction.
It’s clearly a trap.
Katsuki gets a little stupid when Deku is around, though, and he’s not about to let the nerd call him fucking boring.
“You little shit,” he scowls, stomping out of the house towards him.
It’s a very bad idea, though, because soon enough he’s wet and cold and sticky, and he doesn’t like it.
“Amazing!” Deku bounces on his heels, smiling up at him. “Kacchan is wet!”
“What part of me being wet is amazing, dumbass?” Katsuki deadpans. “I’ll come back to the house.”
Deku pouts. “So soon?”
“Yeah,” he says. “And don’t use those eyes on me.”
“What eyes?” he blinks. “I don’t have magic eyes, Kacchan.”
“Those stupid doe eyes,” Katsuki says, pointing an accusatory finger at his face. “You think you can get away with anything if you use them. Well, no.”
Deku smiles, amused. “Do humans use their eyes to get things?”
Katsuki huffs.
“I think your eyes are really pretty, Kacchan. You could use them to get things.”
“Shut up.”
Deku does this then — lets out a breathy sound, throwing his head back with closed eyes: he laughs. And… okay. Katsuki hates sounding like a stupid loser, but Deku’s laughter is… nice. It bubbles up in his throat and it’s both sweet and husky, and it makes Katsuki’s toes curl. Once he starts laughing, Katsuki never wants him to stop.
It’s absolutely ridiculous.
Deku shoots him a glance, eyes softening. “It’s cute when you get embarrassed.”
“Shut up,” Katsuki frowns, neck burning hot. “If I get a cold, I’ll kill you.”
“You wouldn’t,” Deku says, grinning.
And he’s right. He fucking wouldn’t.
“You, absolute menace!”
Deku giggles again, and Katsuki huffs, a sudden, unexpected warmth seeping all over his body and swelling his chest.
This is not good.
.
.
.
It’s quiet one night when Deku asks.
It’s not like him to stay up late, but he’s been weird all day, like there’s something he wants to say but can’t.
“Kacchan.”
“…Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?”
He quirks an eyebrow. “Isn’t that what you usually do?”
“Yes, but I feel like this is something you probably don’t want to talk about…”
Katsuki frowns. “What is it?”
Deku looks out of the window. “Why do you live here? I thought humans lived at the other side…”
Oh. So it’s that.
“Well,” Katsuki leans back on the sofa, “you’re right. Humans have lived in Erion for over half a century since the annihilation of the Earth. Or at least that’s what people call the city.”
“You lived there.”
Katsuki shoots Deku a glance. The space separating them on the sofa suddenly feels too small.
“Yeah.”
He did. Oh, he did.
“But they kicked me out,” Katsuki scoffs, bitterly. “Guess I wasn’t an exemplar civil anymore.”
“Why…?”
“Disobedience,” Katsuki says. “Once you grow up, you get it. That’s what they hate more in their supposedly utopia: rebellion; revolution; people who don’t match their standards for what they can have under control.”
It’s not easy. The process of unlearning what you’ve been taught all your life; finding that what you grew up thinking was right has been wrong all this time. That what people has told you that it’s right actually isn’t. That what people praised about you was actually something you could improve.
“They have lots of shitty fucking rules out there. They told me to kill my partner for some reckless thing he did in a mission — said something about humans that didn’t deserve their place in Erion. I refused; he was a goddamn pain the ass, and really fucking dumb sometimes, but I didn’t want him to die. And no one gets to decide over people’s lives, so I refused and told them that. Next day, they kicked me out. Punished him, too — dumped him out of the Academy; which is better than getting killed, so.”
Katsuki shrugs, lets out a dark laugh.
“It’s fucking funny, actually. They train you all your goddamn life to be a soldier for the government, selling you this idea of a utopia where you’ll live once you graduate. But once you’re no longer useful, they dump you. Like you’re worthless.”
Katsuki drops his arm over his eyes, snorts without an ounce of joy. He hates the way he wants to cry. It’s pathetic. He is pathetic.
Deku can feel it, probably, with emotion-sensor and all that shit; the bitterness and ugliness and sadness and anger.
“Is that what you think of yourself? That you’re worthless?”
Katsuki doesn’t answer. He doesn’t want to.
“In Alyca,” Deku continues, “We have a saying.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. Nemo vita est quam alius.”
When Deku speaks in his native language, his voice is always real fucking soft; it makes Katsuki feel some kind of way.
“No one’s life is like another, or, no one’s life is more valuable than another,” he translates. Then, “I think you’re truly kind, Kacchan. Because you recognize the worth in people’s lives; and that makes you special.”
Katsuki gulps. His throat is suddenly very dry, and his eyes itch as he blinks away some unshed tears. He’s not some loser who’s gonna cry over lame sappy shit. Especially coming from Deku. He’s not one to fall for someone waxing poetic bullshit — it might sound pretty, but that’s all.
The thing is, though — no one’s ever told him that he’s kind.
He doesn’t know how to answer, so he just clears his throat and stands up.
He dusts off his knees, like there’s real dust there instead of just wanting to avert Deku’s earnest and gentle gaze.
“I’ll go to sleep,” he declares, and turns around to go to the back of the small house, where he has his sleeping bag.
“I want to sleep with you today.”
Katsuki takes about ten seconds to process what Deku said. Then, all awkward and emotional embarrassment dies as he turns around so fast he might as well break his neck.
“Wha—” there’s the beginning of panic bubbling on his throat, and Katsuki shoots him wide eyes, alarmed. “The hell?”
“What? Don’t humans sleep together?” Deku tilts his head. “Is that prohibited? How weird.”
“No! But it’s just… we should be… I don’t know, close…”
Katsuki wants the floor to swallow him whole. Why is getting worked up over this, seriously? Is he a teenager?
“Perfect, then,” Deku says cheerfully, and then claps. “We are close, so I can sleep with you tonight!”
Katsuki pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why do you even—”
“Because you’re sad! I can feel it.”
Katsuki huffs. “What are you, a therapy dog?”
Deku frowns. “What is a ‘dog’? Is that something you eat?”
“Oh my fucking god, just — stay there, I’m fine!”
“Why are you panicking…?” Deku asks, clearly confused.
“I’m not—” Katsuki exhales long, frustrated. “Okay, yeah, whatever. But if you kick me in my sleep, I’ll shoot you.”
“You wouldn’t!”
Ah, dammit.
(Discovering that aliens — or at least, Deku — are actually cuddly is…
Well. A Whole Thing.
He clings to Katsuki like he seeks the warmth of his human body, with him being so fucking cold all the goddamn time.)
(Discovering that Katsuki actually doesn’t find it all that annoying is a Whole Other Thing he’s not sure he wants to think about.)
.
.
.
.
“Do I have something on my face?” Katsuki grumbles.
Deku startles, jumping on his seat, and makes this sound that very much sounds like an ‘eeeeek’ while flailing his arms.
“No!” he shakes his head vehemently. “No, no, no.”
“No?” Katsuki quirks an eyebrow. “You’ve been staring at me for ten minutes. If you have something to say, just say it.”
“I—!” Deku yells, then slowly deflates and curls up over his own body, mumbling something Katsuki doesn’t catch.
“What…?”
Deku pauses.
Then, “…I want to touch you.”
Katsuki blinks.
Deku makes a mortified sound. “I don’t — It’s just… your face…”
Katsuki stares.
“You want to touch my face.”
“Yes,” Deku confirms, and then the freckles on his face start lighting up as he hides himself behind his arms.
Belatedly, Katsuki realizes that’s probably Deku blushing. And it’s actually… cute.
“…Okay.”
“Eh…?”
“Okay,” Katsuki presses on, somewhat masking his embarrassment with irritation. “You can touch it.”
Deku beams. Literally. “Really?!”
Katsuki clears off his throat, tries to brush if off as not big deal, stubbornly ignoring the way his pulse skyrockets out of nowhere. “Yeah.”
Deku moves closer to him almost too fast, too eager now that he has permission, with shiny eyes and curiosity written all over his features and… yeah, no. This was a bad idea.
“Can I…?” he starts, hand hovering over Katsuki’s face.
Katsuki scowls, huffing as he juts out his bottom lip. “I already told you, didn’t I?!”
“Sorry!” Deku says, “Just making sure you were okay with it...”
“Yeah, nerd, now just. Do it.”
“Okay…”
Then, the next thing he knows, Deku is stretching his arms and cupping Katsuki’s face.
He’s gentle; tentative and slow, like Katsuki is something he could break if he presses too hard. His fingertips are cold and the skin feels weirdly rough, but it’s… nice. He brushes his fingers over Katsuki’s cheekbones, then up over his forehead, and then smooth down Katsuki’s frown with his thumbs, all while following his small movements with his eyes. He goes over all of Katsuki’s face experimentally: touches the slope of his nose, the curve of his cheeks, then his ears and then back to the space beside his eyes and over his eyelids.
He leans closer, gleaming softly under the darkness of Katsuki’s old living room, and observes every part of Katsuki’s face with an awe and wonder that make Katsuki’s heart go wild inside his ribcage.
Deku tilts his head, staring pointedly at Katsuki’s eyes.
“What are these called?” he asks, touching over the corner of Katsuki’s eyes.
“Eyelashes.”
Deku doesn’t have, but the corner of his eyes is the same vibrant green of his irises, like he had put on some permanent eyeliner. It makes his eyes look even prettier.
“They’re the same color of your hair,” Deku whispers, like he finds it extremely fascinating.
Katsuki gulps, something buzzing in his head.
“Yeah.”
“Can I touch it, too?”
“Mmm.”
Deku takes it as a yes, because then he’s carding through Katsuki’s hair with both hands.
Then, he smiles at Katsuki. “You’re really soft.”
Katsuki hmphs, something fluttery dancing on his stomach and all over his chest. God, who is he? A teenage girl? Why is he getting so affected over this?
“And warm!” Deku adds, like it’s a point very important that needs to be said.
“You’ve never touched a human before or what?” he grumbles, flustered.
Deku’s expression falls a bit, and there’s a hint of sadness tinting the curve of his mouth.
“Not really,” he says. “We’re not allowed to go near humans.”
Katsuki arches both eyebrows. “So you’re breaking your rules with me?”
Deku shrugs. “I don’t mind.”
“Really?” this makes the corner of Katsuki’s mouth curl up unwillingly, for some reason. “I never took you for a troublemaker.”
“Well, a lot of alycans find me weird,” Deku says. “Because I like humans. They’re interesting.”
“You find anything you don’t know personally interesting, Deku.”
He blinks. “Is that bad?”
Katsuki snorts. “It makes you a nerd.”
“I thought that’s what you called me in a friendly way...?”
Katsuki snorts again. “That so?”
Deku looks suddenly puzzled. “Isn’t it…?”
Katsuki huffs out a laugh, and then leans back over his seat. It’s kind of empowering the way Deku follows over him, but it also makes him feel strangely nervous because now he’s almost sitting on Katsuki’s lap.
He tries to distract himself fixing his eyes on the window behind Deku.
“I’m breaking my own rules to be here with you, too, you know?”
That’s partly a lie. He’s not part of Erion anymore, after all. But if he still was…
“Why?”
“We’re not supposed to be fraternizing with theri—aliens. And I’m letting you touch me.”
Deku hums. “We’re not allowed to touch humans, either. Not since some of your people killed mine.”
That’s… something.
“…Why are you here, then?”
“Because I trust you.”
Oh.
“You’re not one of them,” Deku says, sincere and genuine and ripping Katsuki open into little pieces. “And I don’t think all humans are bad.”
He smiles as he brushes a thumb over Katsuki’s cheek.
“Like you,” he says, eyes sparkly. “You’re good.”
Katsuki opens his mouth, but as if that wasn’t already enough, Deku adds, like it’s something normal to say out of nowhere:
“I really like your face, Kacchan.”
“You like everything about me, apparently.”
That is true, and Katsuki doesn’t know how to feel about it. Deku seems to genuinely appreciate parts of Katsuki that he doesn’t even want to think about. He seems to appreciate everything, the good and the ugly, like Katsuki himself is worth his attention and care and interest.
No one has ever treated him like that. No one has ever asked to touch him. No one has ever held him like he was worth treasuring, like he was worth taking time to know him.
It’s overwhelming, to say the least.
“That’s because there’s a lot about you to like.”
Katsuki breathes in, breathes out. “Don’t they know you sneak out to visit me every day like some lovestruck moron?”
“Hmm, my friends do,” he says. “They don’t think you’re dangerous, though. So they let me come.”
“That so…”
“Mmm…”
Katsuki is about to say something else, whatever so he can just brush away the way Deku is looking at him so intently, but then Deku’s fingertips brush over his lips, and what’s left of Katsuki’s rational head goes over the window.
Deku draws the corner of his mouth with his thumb deliberately slow, eyes fixed on the cherry red of Katsuki’s lips. He goes back and forth and then stops in the middle to press the finger over both lips, like Katsuki was giving his fingertip a kiss.
“Deku,” he croaks.
He doesn’t really know why he does it. It’s not like he himself knows what he means saying Deku’s name.
He just wants something to ground him, something to make him feel less dizzy.
Deku is ridiculously enthralled, though, and takes the opportunity when Katsuki opens his mouth to pull gently at Katsuki’s bottom lip. He pushes down the lip softly with his thumb, eyes unmoving from Katsuki.
Katsuki’s mouth goes dry, breath stuttering and catching on his throat.
It’s weird — it’s like something beyond him possesses him for a moment and takes over his body; like his brain works faster than his body and he can’t quite catch what he’s doing until after he’s moving.
He doesn’t know — it’s probably the way Deku can’t take his eyes off his mouth, or the way his pupils dilate as he watches Katsuki intently, or the fascination on his face.
It’s like something pulls out of Katsuki, like he’s been hiding it away in a place he can ignore it until it’s too late, and now it’s overflowing out of him like an open skin.
He doesn’t know why, but then he’s reaching up and touching Deku’s wrist, pressing his thumb on the soft skin and feeling his heart beat under his fingertip. Then, he’s moving Deku’s hand and poking out his tongue to taste Deku’s skin, sucking the tip of his finger into his mouth.
Deku stares, mesmerized, and then, as Katsuki slides his fingers to hold the back of his hand and suck another finger, he inhales sharply — makes a quiet, little sound that comes out low and breathy and needy, and Katsuki can’t think of anything else besides kissing him breathless.
He pulls out Deku’s fingers with a pop, and then pulls at his arm gently so Deku can lean closer to him.
He can see the sparkles on Deku’s emerald eyes, and the freckles all over his skin, and Katsuki’s eyes flutter closed as he leans in—
“Kacchan,” Deku breathes against his lips. “You’re beautiful.”
It’s probably ridiculous, but the word grounds Katsuki back to reality, makes him realize what he’s doing. He freezes, eyes flying open as he leans back, fingers still pressed on Deku’s wrist.
Deku looks puzzled for a moment, as if he didn’t understand why is it that Katsuki suddenly pulled away.
“You have an indescribable beauty,” he says, as if to add to what he already said. Like it’s something completely normal to say.
Ahhhh, holy shit.
“Ah, fuck,” Katsuki utters, dizzy, closing his eyes and trying to calm down his loud heart as he pulls some distance between them. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
What was he doing, honestly? Jesus fuck. Get it together, Katsuki.
He wanted to kiss Deku. He was about to kiss Deku. Would Deku have kissed him back? And why is he even wondering that? He wanted to kiss him, holy shit. No, even worse — he wants to kiss him. Even now. And then Deku called him beautiful, out of everything he could have said, and Katsuki seriously sucked his thumb into his mouth like some goddamn hormonal teenager, Jesus fucking Christ—
“Eh…?” Deku says, and then yells so loud Katsuki opens his eyes, alarmed. “Waah—chan! You are turning red!”
Katsuki blinks.
“Sorry, did I hurt you?” Deku says, worried as he frowns and leans over him to inspect his face. “Did I touch something I wouldn’t? Is anything wrong? Should I do something? What is happening?”
“No, it’s just—”
I’m not used to this, he thinks, as he feels his cheeks burning hot.
“It’s nothing,” he says over Deku’s fretting. “That was enough touching.”
“Ah, yes—” Deku blinks. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, this is completely normal, Deku, now back off.”
“Are you sure—?”
“Yes,” he exhales, overwhelmed. “I.”
He stands up, leaving Deku with his arms hanging where he was reaching out to touch Katsuki’s face again.
“I need fresh air,” he declares, and then turns over the door. “I’m getting out.”
“Oh,” Deku sounds somewhat disappointed, but Katsuki can’t turn around to look at him. He fears that if he does, he’ll probably do something stupid. Like kiss him or confess whatever messy feelings he’s harboring inside. “Okay…”
As Katsuki steps outside, he feels his trembling heart stutter in his chest.
This is not good.
.
.
Later that night, when he’s thinking about Deku and his stupid pretty face and stupid pretty shiny freckles, and stupidly earnest, genuine and cute smile, and the way he laughs and smiles, and asks every dumb question to ever exist, and the little whiny sound he made as Katsuki licked his finger… he suddenly remembers Kaminari, his partner back in the Academy.
One day, he was saying something like, “Well, I could totally fuck an alien if they looked like the Avatar one, you know.”
“Which one?” Camie had asked then, because of fucking course that’s something she would ask. They were both a pair of dumbasses. “The guy or the girl?”
“Exactly,” Kaminari had answered, finger-gunning at her with a shameless grin.
“Why are you even discussing alien fucking right now?” Katsuki had deadpanned, annoyed. Because what the ever-loving fuck.
“Don’t kink shame him, dude,” Camie had scolded him, clicking her tongue. “That’s not cool.”
Ah, Jesus fucking Christ. He’s one of them now, isn’t he? Embarrassing. He’s fallen in love with a fucking alien.
Perfect. Fucking peachy. Kaminari would be proud of him.
Somehow, he misses those idiots, even when he’s pretty sure they would be teasing the ever-loving fuck out of him for falling in love with a therion.
Ahhh. What is his life, even…
.
.
.
It’s very cold outside the day Bakugou Katsuki digs his own grave.
He’s sitting quietly in the table, trying not to get distracted watching Deku play with one of his ‘human belongings’ — an old modified Rubik cube Kaminari gifted him one of his birthdays.
Deku is completely and unsurprisingly fascinated, of course, poking out his tongue in concentration as he lies down on Katsuki’s floor and stretching his arms in the ceiling’s direction while trying to figure out how to resolve the puzzle.
It’s hard, though, and Katsuki keeps stealing glances at him until Deku looks up and meets his eyes.
“Kacchan.”
Katsuki blinks, feeling his neck burn hot after getting caught staring, like a moron. “…Yeah?”
“You know, I already explained this to you, but humans’ brains are relatively smaller than ours, so we can sense some of your thoughts just as we can sense your emotions.”
Katsuki huffs. “Are you trying to call me dumb, Deku?”
“No, no!” he shakes his head, then lowers his arms and places the cube on his chest. “I just — um. Your brainwaves are sensorial, so when you—”
“Deku,” Katsuki interrupts. “Go to the point.”
“Ah,” he scratches his cheek and pauses, as if pondering how to put it into words. “Mmm. When humans think a lot about something, we can hear it — er, it’s more like our brains sense your brainwaves and decode what it means, but um. You would call it like I’m hearing your thoughts because they’re too loud.”
Katsuki’s heart thumps, erratic, fingers flexing and pressing his nails on the palm of his hands, feeling suddenly nervous. Thoughts? What does that mean, exactly…? Like, reading Katsuki’s mind or…?
“…What are you getting at right now?”
Deku rolls over his stomach and sits down, legs crossed as he looks up to Katsuki. “Well, you’ve been thinking a lot about this word for a few days, and I don’t know what it means, so I was wondering.”
Ah.
This is not good…
Deku opens his mouth again, and Katsuki prays for an asteroid to impact Alyca so he can die without hearing what Deku has to say right now.
“What does kiss mean?” he asks, and — yup, no doubt, Katsuki just died. “You seem like you want to do it to me—with me? I’m not sure…”
“Oh god…”
Katsuki buries his head in his hands, wishes someone would just evaporate his existence so he can avoid having this conversation right now.
He’s not about to explain what a kiss means to Deku.
He’s not. He just can’t.
“Eh?” Deku tilts his head, confused with his reaction. “Is it something bad?”
“God…”
“Kacchan?”
Katsuki exhales, long and tired.
Okay. He could lie. He could say whatever bullshit he can come up with and Deku wouldn’t know the truth.
He doesn’t like lying, though. And he doesn’t want to lie to him.
“Ka—”
“Look,” Katsuki pinches the bridge of his nose, feeling his cheeks and ears growing warm as he avoids Deku’s eyes. “I don’t know how to explain this, so—it’s just… touching lips…?”
“Like what we did before?”
“No.”
Oh god. Katsuki wants to die, holy shit.
“It’s like—like my lips touching yours.”
Deku blinks. “Oh,” he seems both curious and confused. “Do humans usually do that?”
Katsuki peeks at him. “…Sometimes.”
“Mmm,” Deku touches his lips with his fingers. “And why don’t you do it with me?”
“I—” Katsuki looks down, eyes firmly fixed on his lap. “Listen, I—do your people have something they do to show affection between couples?”
“Eh?” Deku frowns, pensative. “Mmm… we hold hands, and rub our noses. We also don’t usually touch each other’s shoulders and wrists if we’re not close, because they’re pretty sensitive. Things like that?”
“Yeah, well — kisses are like that. Some people do it just because, and there are lot of reasons why others kiss, but…” he breathes, deep, feeling his pulse tremble and the blood rushing in his ears. “Most of us just kiss each other when we are a couple or… when we like that person…”
Katsuki doesn’t dare to look up and glance at him once he makes that poor explanation, but Deku is quiet for so long that Katsuki worries that he might overstep a line or boundary between them. Is Katsuki liking him really that upsetting?
However, Deku doesn’t seem disgusted. If all, he just seems lost when Katsuki looks at him.
After a brief moment, though, he seems to get it.
“Oh,” he says, blinking like he just realized something. “Oh.”
When he looks up and meets Katsuki’s eyes, his whole face lights up.
Katsuki averts his gaze, looking at the other side of the room and trying to ignore how awkward he feels.
“Is that—” Deku starts, voice hesitant, “—is that the reason why you want to kiss me? Because you… like me?”
Katsuki inhales, trying to gain courage to say the truth as he meets Deku’s eyes.
“Yes.”
“I see…”
Katsuki rests his head on the table.
“You can do it, then,” Deku says, and Katsuki looks up so fast he can hear his neck crack. “Kiss me, I mean.”
“…Are you sure?”
He nods.
“Sorry if I do a bad job, though…”
Katsuki is already standing up and walking towards him. “It’s okay.”
Once he’s sitting in front of Deku on the floor, he reaches out to hold his hand.
“Can I…?” he starts, gesturing because of his wrist. He didn’t really know his wrist was something intimate. That’s probably why Deku had such a visceral reaction back when Katsuki grabbed him there.
Deku nods, quiet. Then, when Katsuki’s thumb brushes over his inner wrist, Deku’s breath stutters.
“Deku.”
“Mmm.”
Katsuki leans in, free hand reaching up to hold Deku’s chin and pull him closer.
“Close your eyes,” he mumbles, voice softening.
He does as he’s told without protesting, and then Katsuki is leaning in closer, and—
He’s soft. Softer than Katsuki expected, and a lot less warm. It doesn’t matter, though. It’s good. Quiet and tender, and there’s something bubbly fluttering all inside him, and warmth spreading all through his chest, enough to cover both of them.
Deku smells nice, like citrus and cinnamon, and he’s ridiculously soft under Katsuki’s touch. And it’s just… it feels good, having him so close.
When Katsuki pulls away, Deku’s skin is shining gently, as if some of Katsuki’s warmth would have made him light up.
He opens his eyes slowly, and offers Katsuki a sweet smile, reaching up to touch Katsuki’s lips with his index finger.
“I liked it.”
Katsuki can’t help but smile. “Yeah?”
“Yes,” his mouth curves nicely, smile turning tender. “You’re very warm.”
Katsuki snickers. “Yeah, you like that.”
“I do,” Deku beams happily, then smiles somewhat apologetically. “Sorry if I did a bad job.”
When Katsuki kissed him, Deku kissed Katsuki back — gently and tentative, as if unsure of what he was doing, and it made Katsuki ridiculously endeared; it was unfairly adorable.
“You didn’t,” Katsuki reassures.
Deku’s smile twitches, and there’s something teasingly cheeky glinting in his eyes as he looks back at him.
“You could teach me, anyway,” he says. “How to kiss.”
Katsuki blinks, and Deku’s smile twitches, like he finds amusing how Katsuki’s brain is currently malfunctioning.
“Yeah,” he says, and feels suddenly so happy it’s actually ridiculous. He’s such a lovestruck loser. “I could.”
As Deku leans closer, hands cupping Katsuki’s face as he tells Katsuki they ‘can practice right now’, Katsuki thinks—
Ah, this is not good.
He’s seriously in love with this nerd.