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Past Ronan had decided Adam’s middle name was mysterious.
At first, the bumps and bruises on his new friend’s hands were normal, from clumsiness, nothing more, his mouth said. It was alright, his face said, only bruises. Gansey as well as Ronan believed him for a while. Gansey was always the one spending time with Adam at that point. Singling him out in Latin class and World History right from the beginning was Gansey’s attempt at furthering their friendship, and it worked well. He invited Adam to lunch. Adam went to lunch. Gansey invited him on their quests. Adam followed him without question. That fact made Ronan really, truly look at this new potential friend.
It isn’t just some regular person that would follow this manic-like search for a dead Welsh King.
Originally, only Ronan and Noah were the two that listened to Gansey’s ramblings of Glendower. They watched him write down every single bit of information in his journal. He hoped that journal knew how much it was loved, perhaps even revered by Gansey. It was the single thing that held his entire life together, and Ronan knew it.
The more Ronan looked at Adam, the more he noticed how his hair shined in the Henrietta sun, how his blue eyes looked everywhere and nowhere at the same time when he was in thought. He was all angles, yet they suited him beautifully.
For a while, Ronan thought Gansey cared about Adam a little too much. He shared every bit of his adventure of Glendower with his new best friend, while Adam shared not a bit of his brain with him except for during study sessions. To Ronan that meant Adam was keeping something from them. So, Ronan decided a healthy amount of actively hating Adam would keep him an arm's length away. Far enough away so if anything happened to Ronan, it wouldn’t matter. In turn, if anything happened to Adam, Ronan wouldn’t have a further broken heart–if it could be damaged any further.
About a month into Adam’s quiet introduction into the group, Adam turned up to Latin class with a nasty black eye if Ronan had ever seen one. And he’s seen a lot, particularly on himself. Adam smiled and waved at Ronan–Gansey wasn’t there, something to do with his mother’s political shit–as if it didn’t look like he had taken a cannonball to the eye and sat down. He went through his ordinary task of taking out his notebook and pencil in that specific order and waited calmly for the teacher to arrive, as they were ten minutes early because of Adam.
Gansey had thought arriving early with Adam would help Ronan be more scholarly. It hadn’t worked, but it had certainly helped in the unwanted attachment department. Adam was wholly a part of the group now, and Ronan had found he didn’t mind that. He was still far enough away that neither of them could get hurt by Ronan’s newfound feelings. If anything went south–as it always did–Ronan would take the fall alone. Or well, he hoped it would be alone.
This bruised yet unbroken Adam made Ronan want to do many crazy things. Some led him to a jail sentence.
Adam hadn’t acknowledged Ronan’s presence beside him, so Ronan stayed quiet. He studied Adam out of the corner of his eye. He studiously studied his notes and tapped his left hand on the desk. His fingers rhythmically tapped the desk. Tap, tap, tap tap tap. Tap, tap, tap tap tap. Although, under that was the uncontrollable shaking of nerves that Ronan could see ever so often when one of the taps was just a second too late or early to the party. He could see the two matching bruises on his wrist when his Anglionby sweater sleeve rode up just a little too far.
Adam suddenly spoke. “Do you know the word hello, Ronan? C’mon, say what you want to say.” He continued looking at his notes as if it wasn’t worth meeting Ronan’s eyes. A man of few words, and he knew that got under Ronan’s skin.
Ronan sharply turned towards the boy and squared him up. There were a lot of things he could say, but he knew most of them were the wrong choice. Oh, how he wanted Adam to just tell him who it was. Who did this to such a person as Adam? Everyone admired his hard work. Hell, even Ronan admired him.
“Who was that fuckweasel? Tell him and I’ll never let him get near you again, Parrish.”
Ronan narrowed his eyes. Adam's lips had curved upward and his body shook. Was he…laughing?
"What, asshole? You think I can't take that fucker on? Even if it's a woman I'll get her back in some way. Anything–" for you. Adam put his hand out towards him and Ronan shut his mouth obligingly.
Adam turned towards Ronan as other students rushed around to their seats. The professor would be there any moment.
"Look, Ronan. I'm sorry but you can't do that. I wouldn't–couldn't let you." Adam's voice was quiet, as if he had whispered a secret.
"Huh?" Ronan started, a little too loudly. It was as if Adam could feel the loud abrasive words that were about to come out of his mouth, so the look that shut him up before he started was warning enough.
Ronan knew Adam cared about his Aglionby reputation more than anything, and they would never talk again if he ruined it. He should anyway. It would achieve his goal of keeping Adam far enough away–too out of reach to ever touch. He still knows that would be best, he would never lie to himself. But Adam's look of apprehension on his face was so, so genuine that Ronan just could not bring himself to say anything.
Not that he even could now. The professor was in the middle of giving him a warning look. He couldn't get kicked out of this class or Gansey would have his ass.
The clock seemed to tick twice as slow during class. The teacher wrote what looked like hieroglyphics on the board–if he wanted to listen, whatever it was was probably not too bad, but Ronan was not in the mood for fancy dancey mathematics right now. He had Adam to think about.
Adam put all of his supplies away. One at a time, in the order they were taken out. Ronan stood as he put his bag on and stalked out behind him.
They walked down the halls that were flooded with kids side by side. Nobody gave them a second glance. Ronan hadn't done anything worth gossip lately while Adam, ever-present, still flew under everyone's radar. Even with the black hole for an eye. And, well, Gansey wasn't there.
The further down the hall they walked, the more Adam's air got smaller and smaller. When they got to his locker he sighed and immediately opened it, trading out one book for another.
"Ronan."
"Yea."
"If I was to tell you who it was, would you let it drop?" Adam refused to look Ronan in the eye as he waited. The random ass photo on the front of the Latin textbook was more appealing.
“Sure, why not. Just don’t lie about it. It’s unnecessary.”
Adam sighed and looked at Ronan. His eyes were heavier than normal, the blue dark with an oncoming storm. “Just don’t tell Gansey. I will tell him on my own terms.”
Ronan nodded. That was understandable.
“It was my father.”
***
Weeks went by after Adam’s confession without fault. Perhaps it was even months until Ronan couldn’t take it anymore, it was hard to tell. With the search for Glendower taking big turns and a new person in the group that didn’t seem to back down from Ronan’s words, Adam’s new and old bruises all blended together in Ronan’s head. All he knew was that he wished he could do something about it; until he did.
It was all a blur after he dropped Adam off at his childhood home for the last time. It was all how it always was. Sometimes his father waited inside, sometimes it was outside. This time he was inside, his silhouette lined by a yellow light in the front window. He was watching.
Ronan sighed, he wished Adam would take Gansey up on his offer. Although he understood why Adam didn't. Pride was a fickle thing.
The car was too quiet, even as the music blared something that seemed like Adam took a liking to. He had tapped his fingers to it before, but right now they were still. The boy in his passenger seat sat just as still, eyes blown wide as he saw his father in the window. They could both see the looks of a beer clutched in his hand.
"Parrish."
Adam snapped out of his gloom and softened his expression when he looked back at Ronan. He always thought it hid that scared shitless expression, but it never did. At least with Ronan. His eyes were still too wide, his face too ok with whatever had happened and what was happening.
Ronan knew Adam thought of him the same way. Ronan knew that he could see the reluctant expression on his face. The look of held-back anger. The anger he wanted to use to take Adam away from this place so he would never feel the heat and hand of his father again. Where he would be loved by friends that felt like family, and maybe even more so by Ronan.
Oh how Ronan would love to take Adam's worry of home away, but he could not. Adam had steeled his expression and hopped out of the car. "Thanks for the ride, Ronan." His voice was measured when he let the door swing shut on its own.
Ronan watched Adam walk through the blaring light of the headlights up to the door. He opened it slowly and walked in. No sooner than when he walked in Ronan saw some type of scuffle erupt from the doorway. The door hadn't shut all the way, so he could hear Adam's father yelling. He could hear him as he smacked the wall and threw his beer, which backed Adam up to the other window. As soon as Ronan saw a hand get raised towards his friend, he bolted from the car.
School and life be damned. He wouldn't watch Adam get abused by his father any longer.
***
St. Agnes, the church of Ronan's childhood. St. Agnes, also the new home of Adam Parrish.
This Adam wasn't new, but he wasn't the old version either. He was something…in between. Like something between him and Adam had shifted. This Adam was more understanding of Ronan. Or maybe it was Ronan beginning to notice yet another layer of his friend.
During the nights neither of them could sleep and on the days they were free, they went on rides together. For the leyline, they said. The leyline was indeed helped during these rides, as well as more experimentation at the Barns. During the nights Ronan deemed to be too late to drive the extra 5 minutes to Monmouth or to the Barns, he slept at St. Agnes with Adam. On the floor, of course.
Adam's breaths that slowly evened out with sleep were what lulled Ronan to sleep nowadays. Not that he would ever admit that to Gansey, the one that was stuck with him the nights he wasn't at the Barns or with Adam.
But, back to the present. Morning Mass had just let out, and Ronan waved goodbye to his brothers. Particularly Matthew, as Declan hadn't done anything special to warrant a goodbye to him and Ashlee. They were all going to a late breakfast at Matthew's request, and Ronan normally went. But he had something more important to check on right now.
Up the stairs, he went to the worn wooden door on the upper floor. Adam's apartment. The person in question had just walked out.
Adam had his signature coca-cola t-shirt donned with simple jeans. His hair was mussed as if he had just tried to fix it and half failed. It was simple. Ronan was a fan of simple.
He and Ronan were off to Nino's. It was to talk more about the Barns and their attempts at reanimating his father's dream things in a different setting. Nothing more, nothing less.
Adam gave Ronan the small smile he liked seeing and locked the door–then they were off.
***
For once, Ronan did not turn on the radio as soon as he hopped in his BMW, and Adam was glad. This Sunday was the first nice one in weeks for him. Cabeswater had been quiet and he even somehow had the day off from Boyd's.
Ronan had gone to his weekly Mass with his brothers. He was all dressed up with black laced dress shoes and a black tie that made his button-up look blindingly white. The sleeves pushed up in no particular style, yet it suited him well. Although, Adam thought, everything served Ronan well.
"Don't you normally go out to eat with your brothers after Mass?"
Ronan half laughed and shifted to a different gear. "Yeah, I do. Didn't know you were writing a book about me, Parrish."
Adam sighed, "Wow Lynch, you start the conversation then." He rolled down the window, letting the wind hit his face and the sun warm it. The sun was kind today. It was soft and gentle, especially when it shined on Ronan. He was still all sharp angles, but that sunlight gave them a light contrast. Ronan looked ethereal in the driver's seat today.
Huh, Adam realized he'd been having those thoughts about Ronan a lot lately. He had always seen Ronan as attractive and Gansey as well; a person would be stupid if they didn't. But those nights when Ronan stayed over changed something between them. They were close now, closer than Adam ever thought he'd be with anyone. And if someone said he was interested in Ronan, let alone good friends with him a year ago Adam would have laughed at them. No way would he ever get to know such an asshole.
Now he calls him an asshole for fun.
"Well, ok. What are you thinking of getting at Nino's?"
"Probably just some pizza. Or something like that." In other words, something cheap.
"How about we buy a whole pizza and split the price," Ronan asked. He shifted down and turned into the lot. He parked near the end of the lot as always.
"Sure," Adam knew Ronan said that only because he knew it was cheaper, but he would take it, "only if you like pineapple."
Ronan groaned, "You're half can have that, you devil. Mine will have good old pepperoni and sausage, thank you." He stepped out of the car and shut the door, meeting up with Adam to walk in as Adam snorted. It would be a weird day to see Ronan willingly eat pineapple pizza.
Moments later when they ordered, Adam realized it was truly a weird day.
First, Ronan ditched his brothers to eat with Adam. Then, he ordered a simple pineapple pizza with Blue as the waiter no less. Adam didn't think Ronan would ever do that to himself in front of Blue.
Blue in her ripped shirt and rolled-up jeans under her black apron snorted, which stopped a surprised laugh that wanted to leave her mouth. "Wow Ronan, I didn't peg you as a pineapple enjoyer."
Ronan grinned menacingly. "Well Maggot, I didn't peg you as someone who makes fun of someone's eccentric choices, but here we are."
That got a genuine laugh out of Blue, so she allowed him to win and walked away. She came back briefly and left with a wink at Adam, leaving them by themselves.
"So, Ronan." Adam sucked at his soda through the straw. "How's the experiment at the Barns?"
"Good, good." Ronan had been half distracted by the straw wrapper. He'd been balling it up and flicking it around. "Haven't been getting fucking anywhere with it though." He flicked the paper to Adam and put his fingers up in a goalpost way. He flicked it and it hit off one of Ronan's fingers, knocking it the opposite way. "Gosh, Parrish. You normally knock that out of the park with Gansey, what happened?" He flicked the paper back to Adam. "Are my hands too distracting?"
Adam's eyes naturally slid to Ronan's hands. They were an average size for a guy, with callouses on them from the work he did at the Barns. Yet, Ronan was right. They were attractive in their own right with how they moved and…everything really. Then his bare forearm and how the rest of his arm fit into that button-up of his was a whole different story. "Why, do you want me to be distracted by them?" Adam flicked the paper square into the goal this time, causing the paper to fall on Ronan's lap.
Ronan didn't immediately pick up the paper. Their eyes were locked on one another, each of them daring the other to travel further down this pipeline of questioning. Of course in the middle of this staredown, Blue arrived with the pizza. Adam sighed inwardly, he was half glad Blue interrupted it but he also would have liked to know Ronan's answer.
Ronan seemed to worship the pizza's arrival, so neither spoke on the topic for the rest of the meal. They ate and enjoyed themselves, talking about their friends and Glendower and their leyline mission. And dammit, Ronan had gotten Adam addicted to his hands. Every time Ronan reached for a slice of pizza or took a drink, Adam was caught by his hands. He watched them hold the various objects and wave in the air as he talked. Adam knows he was caught a few times based on Ronan's small knowing smile.
When the pizza was gone and paid for–the tip was left by Adam, he was cheap but Blue deserved a tip from him–he couldn't take it anymore. Just as they were about to stand up and leave, Adam reached over and caressed Ronan's hand. Just enough to say he had, but gosh it was partly a mistake. The mix of soft and rough was enough to kill somebody. Namely Adam. Oh, now Ronan gazed at him with a look Adam had never seen on his face. His cheeks were tinted lightly and his expression more carefully clear than a car before it was wrecked. Adam jerked his hand away.
"What? I wanted to know what your hands felt like. It was distracting." He looked away from Ronan and darted out of Nino's to Ronan's car. Oh, they had both gotten here in one car. Adam groaned and set his head in his hands.
It was gonna be a long rest of the day.
***
Well. Ronan did not think by any means this was how all of this would turn out. Adam was currently shirtless in his arms as he slept the evening away. One of his arms was snaked between Ronan's arm and under him, resting on the couch cushion.
This had been the second time they'd gotten…intimate. It was just kissing of course–Ronan would never think of going any further–but when he shoved up Adam's shirt to feel just how warm and goddamn heavenly his skin was Adam decided it was a cue to lose the shirt. Now, Ronan certainly did not mind that but he also had not expected to see the copious amount of scars littered around. Ronan’s hands paused on their own accord, and Adam tensed.
“Do you…not like them?” Adam’s hands had been everywhere–including behind his head, which Ronan had figured out he didn’t mind that one bit–but now they had pulled away.
Ronan had growled, “Of course I don’t like how they got there, but that doesn’t mean I no longer like you, Parrish.” He had lightly ran his fingers along the small ones on Adam’s back. “They’re a part of you now…so I love them.” That had appeased Adam, so they had continued on their merry way.
Now Adam, understandably so, felt the need to nap. Ronan knew this was the first evening Adam had off in weeks, so he treated him as if he was a cat. Don’t move, but running his hands through his boyfriend’s sandy hair wasn’t out of bounds. Ronan admired him as he did so. He gazed at the toned definition of his arms and upper back, the rough beauty of his hair, and even his scars. They were sparse, as Adam had always gotten more bruises than permanent marks–the most permanent being his left ear.
Ronan never would forgive Adam’s father. He wished he could have given Adam the childhood he should have had. One much like Ronan’s–without the death of his parents of course. A young life of peace and fun with siblings. Being able to confide in one another without worry. Hell, even just having siblings. Even though Ronan wasn’t a fan of Declan, he was his brother. Someone that would always be there, whether he wanted him to or not.
God, Ronan was glad he could give Adam this present of them together and Adam being loved by many. The group and Ronan’s brothers loved Adam to death, and he hoped–prayed–Adam felt happy from that for as long as he lived.
***
Adam was happy.
After Declan’s completely expected wedding to Jordan, Adam knew Ronan still had something on his mind. He was his normal self in every way, yet Adam could tell he didn’t quite know what to do with his hands–or Adam’s for that matter. During the reception, Ronan had gone to Gansey briefly to talk and then traveled back over to Adam. He played with Adam’s fingers as they talked, and then played with his own when Blue and Gansey pulled Adam away for some silly drinking game. They needed him to see Henry as the donkey.
After about an hour of watching their antics, Adam made his way back over to Ronan. He was in a quiet discussion with Declan, which apparently Adam was not privy to. They clearly switched topics when Adam got close. Well, he could wait. Ronan seemed to be working the words through his head to get them out.
After the sun had long set and everyone had gone to bed, Adam and Ronan sunbathed under the stars. They talked of everything and nothing at once, the day took its toll on their want to physically converse. They were here, next to each other, and that was enough.
After a moment of silence, Adam heard Ronan's brain turn on. It rumbled with thoughts as his hands started moving as they did during the wedding day. He reached over and put his hand in Ronan's, which drained the tension from it. Adam decided that his action must have made Ronan make his decision.
Rustle, rustle, went his pockets as he got something out of it. Adam didn't look over, he didn't think it was so important to see as it was to hear and feel.
Ronan's hand enveloped Adam's left. Something warm and metal-like grazed the skin of his ring finger as if it was and wasn't there at the same time. He could tell Ronan had dreamt the metal-like substance, as it felt too other to be a real material. Although, somehow he knew in his heart Ronan had crafted the ring itself by hand. The surface felt matte yet a little bumpy, as if it was the carefully intended effect by Ronan's hands.
When the ring fully slipped onto Adam's finger, Ronan sighed as if a huge weight had left him. With the ring fully on it felt whole and completely with Adam. One with him.
Adam shut his eyes and smiled as he set his hand in Ronan's once again.
He was very, very happy.