Work Text:
Ghost was running on the singular elliptical in the workout room, something he usually hated. But, he had started an intense exercise routine, mostly involving the elliptical because the heavy use of both of his legs and his arms took the pressure off his mind. He wasn’t a big feelings person, and when he did have flare-ups, he rationalized his emotions excruciatingly as if it would stop him from feeling them. This was a problem though, because he was still reeling over making out with Soap three days ago. He had no clue what to do. He let himself be so vulnerable, such a stupid thing to do, and even more stupidly with someone he cared for so deeply. If he did something like this with a hooker he’d never have to see them again, but here he was, trapped. Ghost told himself he needed to end things. It wouldn’t be easy, as the last time he tried to cut it off he turned to putty in the man’s arms. Ghost was finally opening up to someone after forever in the dark, and frankly, he knew he didn’t want to go back.
Ghost was so deep in his own head that he was startled by the machine beeping at him, alerting him he had finished. He had it set to the time it came automatically assigned to, meaning he had been doing cardio for thirty minutes without a break. Though cardio was essential in their line of work, wasn't as accustomed to it, so the exhaustion hit him all at once. At the beep, he slowed his movements down, hopping off the machine with a small grunt and leaning down to grab his water bottle. He lifted the sweaty balaclava above his mouth before having the water bottle meet his lips. He desperately gulped at the now lukewarm water spilling down his throat. He was a hot mess, and against his will, he thought of being in a similar predicament involving Soap instead of a water bottle. He choked on the liquid in response to both the scenario and the arousal he felt, having a short coughing fit. He needed to steady himself on the railing of the machine, and Ghost surveyed the room practically frantic in embarrassment. With the place being completely empty, he breathed a sigh of relief before chiding himself for conjuring up such a situation as well as the enjoyment of it.
Ghost made a b-line towards the showers. He was sweaty, his clothes felt tight on his body leaving him walking lethargic yet urgent. Whether he wanted to scrub himself clean or his sin or rub one out he didn’t know. Opening the door, he tucked a towel from the clean bin under his arm and searched for his stall. He was even sweatier now, he had all of his clothes on because he insisted on changing in the shower in case other recruits saw his face unintentionally. Ghost was neurotic with his routines, so he instinctively brushed the shower curtain open. But Ghost had forgotten that because of his newfound exercise pattern that it wasn’t his time slot. So he stood there. Staring at the pest he had been trying to purge from his brain.
Soap whipped his head around on instinct, hands still running through his sudsy hair.
“ ‘dya fucking mind?” he growled.
Soap craned his neck upwards to look at the nuisance before his face dropped. Soap had forgotten. Soap had forgotten that he wasn’t granted the same safety that other men were when being walked in on naked. Soap wasn’t granted the same privilege every other man here had.
Because Ghost was someone who almost always spoke with his eyes, he didn’t consider the possibility he could cover them. Whether from pent-up feelings about the man in front of him or by complete accident, Ghost looked Soap up and down. He spotted two thin line scars mirrored on each side of the man’s chest, with nothing hanging below the stomach. The two stood there for a few seconds.
Soap was mortified. He didn’t know which part of his body to shield. In a sheer panic, he took his shampoo-covered hands and shoved Ghost, making him take a step backward. Soap harshly wrangled the shower curtain and dragged it back to its original position. Soap stood for around a minute, letting the water hit his back before putting one hand on the wall and using the other to run his fingers through his hair with exasperation. He had assumed Ghost had run off at this point, but on recalling he heard no movement he turned around and yelled.
“The fuck are you still doing here? Go!”
Soap’s breathing was labored, and in his rage, he sounded on the verge of tears. Ghost finally decided to rush out of the area at a brisk pace. He flew back to the room the two shared, heaving himself onto his cot and taking off his sweaty face covering. Ghost put his face in his hands letting out a bitter groan.
“God fucking damnit,” he muttered.
Right now, the man dead set on having a clear head couldn’t form a single coherent thought. As much as he hated to admit it, he had been fantasizing about seeing Soap naked for a few days now, but this wasn’t what he expected. A part of him had maybe even wanted things to end out of regard for duty they both swore themselves to, but every time he saw the Scot he lost any and all logic he had. When he was with Soap, it felt like he was lucid dreaming, in a fantasy of his own creation that would be gone when he woke up. But Soap was always there the next day, putting him through a never-ending cycle of ease. It was uncomfortable, but it was so freeing that he would do anything to preserve it. But even a slight sense of safety in a place like this has you wind up with a bullet in your skull.
By the time Soap got out of the shower, the water was cold. He wrapped a towel around his waist and strode over to the mirrors speckled with condensation on its way out. He wiped a small streak clear with his palm, before taking a step back to fully examine himself. He walked closer once again, putting both his hands on the sink and gripping the ceramic tightly. He stared at himself, excruciatingly analyzing every inch of his body. He eventually let out a tired sigh then stormed back by his shower stall to get his clothes. He didn’t want to go through this again.
Soap left the showers looking around while using a smaller hand towel to dry his damp hair. He stopped when he saw Ghost leaning against the wall leaning to his left. As soon as Ghost saw Soap departing from the showers, he ushered himself off the wall and walked towards him. Soap put some speed in his step, almost hugging the wall opposite of Ghost to indicate he wasn’t in the mood to talk. Ghost wasn’t planning on it, the Brit needed to shower himself. When passing, each man side-eyed the other, simultaneously meeting and averting their gazes. If Soap held the look, he would see Ghost’s eyes encumbered with heavy regret. If Ghost had held it, he would have seen a look that was fragile yet loathsome. But neither held the gaze.
Ghost spent a good amount of time in the shower too, pissed that the hot water was used up. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to compartmentalize matters like he usually did, so he imagined every possible scenario to deal with it. He needed to figure out what the hell to do first, then find the right words, and words weren’t his strong suit. When he gave up, he headed back to the room to sleep on it. At least he was clean now, though if his body was running as much as his mind did, he’d need around five more showers. Walking back to the room, he assumed that with the actively passing period they had before dinner, there wouldn’t be time to talk about it. He was wrong. As soon as Ghost opened the door, Soap was standing in front of him with his arms crossed and a sour look on his face.
“How long ‘ave you been standing there?”
Soap let out a heavy sigh. “We’re talking about it.”
Out of all the scenarios Ghost ran through this was not one of them. That was his problem, Ghost assumed everyone thought the same way he did. He hadn’t considered the fact that Soap would act like Soap; abrasive and confrontational.
“We are?”
“We are.” Soap murmured.
He obviously wasn’t happy about needing to do this either but he saw no point in prolonging it. The room was completely silent besides the buzzing of the long fluorescent tubes of lighting above them.
“Ask away.” Soap said impatiently.
“Give me a minute, Christ.”
“Sorry, sorry.”
Not even 30 seconds had passed before Soap spoke up again.
“Ya done?”
“Fucking hell Johnny, obviously not.”
“You’re taking forever, ya fucking dinosaur.”
“Cool it.”
Soap let out a disgruntled sigh and plopped down on his cot, letting his legs swing dramatically as he sat. He slouched over, propping his elbow up on his leg and holding his face in that hand.
“So…” Ghost started. “You were born as a woman?”
“Aye.”
“But you… aren’t.”
“Affirmative.”
Ghost let out a quick noise in acknowledgment before leaning against his back against the wall as he had earlier.
“How’d ya know?”
“How’d I know?” Soap repeated.
“Felt it in my bones, I guess. Thought I’d bide my time until I’d gotten used to it but that never happened. Clicked one day.”
“Why’d you join?” Ghost asked.
“Ooh, getting more personal' are we?” Soap teased as he readjusted himself. “Had to pay for the other half. Shit’s expensive. And, and, what’s more manly than being in the military eh?”
He chuckled at his own joke before stopping himself and looking at Ghost. They both knew the jokes were a failed attempt to hide the discomfort.
“But y’know,” Soap said, changing the subject.
“the shit you see here, can’t really back out once you’re in. The mental and all that. You probably know better than I do.”
Ghost gave him a prompt nod. He was right. Soap had hoped the aforementioned military bond would be enough to preserve things.
“Price know?”
“Had to.”
“Anyone else?”
“No. And you’re not gonna tell ‘em”. Soap raised his eyebrow slightly and gave Ghost a hard, grim look. Though there wasn’t any sign of it on his face, Ghost could pick out the desperation in his voice.
“Wasn't planning on it.” Ghost answered.
“Good.”
Frankly, Ghost had many more questions to ask, but he refrained. Now it was Soap’s turn. The air was tense, and the silence that hung between them was unbearable for Soap. He forced himself to ask the question that they both thought, and Ghost would never say. He had let himself get hurt so many times before because of it, and he figured he might as well rip the Band-aid off.
“Is… is this gonna change things between us?”
Neither even knew what they were in the first place, but neither willingly wanted to let go of what they had.
“Fuckin’ hell Johnny.” Ghost spat.
Almost all the muscles in Soap’s body loosened as he dropped his head dejectedly. He let out a pained sigh, then clenched one of his fists so hard that his nails dug into his palms, leaving harsh red marks. Soap scorned himself for even thinking it could work out. It wasn’t rational, he had learned his lesson so many times before. It made him feel unlovable, of course, people had their preferences and he wasn’t going to change himself for anyone, but he couldn’t deny the loneliness of freedom. Yet, his sanguineness was always persistent, the prospects and pipe dreams he had never truly escaped. It was a blessing and a curse, but it always felt more like a curse.
Ghost, watching the physical manifestation of Soap’s spirit being broken, ridiculed himself for allowing it to happen. Soap had assumed that his little quip was the response to the question. His sardonic nature would be his downfall. Ghost debated leaving it at that, just ending their strange relationship right here, right now. Maybe he would resign, maybe Soap would, and nothing would ever come of them. He’d eventually die in the line of duty, another nameless face in an obituary. But while Ghost had been keeping himself living, Soap had kept him alive. And Ghost was selfish. He was selfish for wanting to keep that.
Ghost slowly strode over in front of Soap, inspecting the man wearily, letting out a short exhale from his nose.
“Oi. Dunce.”
Ghost lightly backhanded Soap’s head. Soap brought his hand to the spot Ghost had slapped before looking up. Now Ghost was the one with his arms crossed.
“It’s not.”
Soap’s expression softened slightly, but not enough to signify that he wholeheartedly believed him. He’d been told this before and he’d been burned by it.
“How do I know that?”
“Hmm?” Ghost was a little taken aback by the question.
“How do I know it’s not gonna change things between us?” Soap’s voice raised in volume.
“Cause I’m telling you, it’s not.” Ghost said candidly.
Soap was shouting at this point.
“No, because I need to know-”
Ghost cut him off and grabbed the collar of his shirt, dragging him to his feet. Though Soap was a man of high-class military, the surprise had left him feeble. Ghost pulled Soap less than an inch from his face with a look of resolve he had only seen when Ghost was bloodthirsty.
“It’s not gonna change shit, Johnny.”
Ghost was worked up, his breathing a touch ragged and Soap noticed the small growl that escaped Ghost’s throat as he said that. He meant it.
Soap felt his face flush against his will. He didn’t know whether it was from the impassioned way Ghost had of showing support, Soap’s newfound alleviation, or the lack of distance between them. The right corner of Soap’s mouth suddenly twitched upwards, altering his lips into a sly grin.
“Prove it.”
He never knew when to stop. Ghost’s taut body language somewhat mellowed before he let out a short scoff. He unclenched his fists from Soap’s collar, which made Soap’s boots hit the ground with a short plop. Soap presumed that was the end of the interaction, and turned to walk away. Ghost pulled up his balaclava to be resting on the tip of his nose, before hooking his hand on Soap’s shoulder, making him pivot back to face him. Ghost leaned down and pushed his lips onto Soap’s almost aggressively. Soap let out a small noise in surprise before slackening into the kiss. Ghost moved his hand from the shoulder to cup Soap’s chin, rubbing his thumb in an arch against the man’s beard a few times. He then put his palm on Soap's chest, gently separating the two of them. Soap tried to lean into the kiss as Ghost withdrew, but the hand pushed back more forcefully to his dismay.
“That enough for you, you fucking numpty?” Ghost retorted.
Ghost had forgotten that the bottom half of his face wasn’t covered, so Soap had a clear view of the rosy cheeks the stone-cold lieutenant donned. Seeing that, Soap’s face contorted into the most shit-eating grin imaginable. He then took a couple of steps backward, using the backside of his hand to wipe his mouth, smearing some saliva on his cheek.
“Hmm, not sure, might need another run-through.” Soap jeered.
Ghost let out a snicker, strolling in front of Soap’s new position, stretching his neck out and leaning into Soap’s nape.
“You really want this, Johnny?” He whispered. As he said that, Ghost took his hand and placed it on Soap’s hip, giving it a tight and prompt squeeze. Soap felt a chill run through his body at the contact.
“Yes sir.”
That did something to Ghost. Those two words ignited a carnal fury he didn’t know he had in him. There was a beat, Ghost retreated his head slowly, making intense eye contact with heavy breaths. Soap’s heart was pounding watching a barely restrained thirst grow in the Ghost’s eyes.
Ghost almost lunged at the man, taking his hand off Soap’s hip and moving it to cup Soap’s face before kissing the man. Soap answered the kiss with one short brush of their lips before parting his own just enough for Ghost to slip his tongue in. Soap grasped the lieutenant’s hips firmly. Ghost let out a quick groan and eagerly indulged himself in Soap’s mouth. Ghost was almost sloppy with the movement of his tongue, an embodiment of how desperately he craved the man. Meanwhile, Soap was drinking in his wild gasps like he needed them to live. Soap slowly dragged his hands up Ghost’s back teasingly before nipping at his bottom lip. At this, Ghost decided to shift one hand to the back of Soap’s neck and duck into his nape. He opened his mouth and bit down hard, hard enough to make Soap grit his teeth ever so slightly and let out a stifled groan. Soap felt a Ghost tense up at the noise he released, but it made Ghost suck down even more ferociously.
Once he was done with it, Ghost pulled away gently then licked his lips.
“All fucking mine.” He practically growled.
Soap raised an eyebrow and snorted.
“Am I now?”
“Mhmm.”
Ghost then shoved Soap against the wall hard enough for there to be a small recoil. Ghost pushed his lips to Soap’s once again, with Soap now attempting to dominate the situation. Soap grabbed Ghost’s shoulder then his hip, pulling him closer with urgency. Soap tried to have his tongue on top of Ghost’s as much as humanly possible, to cherish, to feed his hunger with the taste. Ghost then drew back, placing his right hand on the wall above Soap’s shoulder, craning his head into the small crook of Soap’s neck to give him another hickey. It went on for a few seconds before Soap unintentionally let out what could only be described as a whimper. Ghost stopped.
“Like that, do we?”
“Shut up.”
Ghost then pushed himself off Soap, then grabbing almost the entirety of his chin in one hand, making Soap jump.
“Tell me you like it.” Ghost muttered.
Soap’s eyes widened. Ghost trying to tame his facetious attitude had him excited in a way he hadn’t been in a long time. Soap tried to look away bashfully before Ghost squeezed tightly and readjusted his hand to force eye contact. Ghost’s look softened a bit, almost saying “ you know you want to”. And Soap did.
“...I like it.”
Ghost let out a quick exhale then leaned back by Soap’s neck, this time below his ear.
“Good boy, Johnny,” he whispered.
Soap was almost foaming at the mouth from the praise. Ghost slid his hand down from the tight grip he had on Soap’s face to instead hold his jaw. He brought the other hand up and placed a finger on Soap’s lips. Soap didn’t need instruction. He separated his lips and Ghost stuck his index into his mouth. Soap sucked on it, trying to memorize every detail with his tongue. Ghost’s fingertip was rough and calloused, his knuckle was dry, and his nails were short and cut at a jagged angle. Soap enjoyed every part of it, and while he did, Ghost slid in his middle finger. Soap released a quick and content “mmm” at the change.
Soap was never known for his patience, though. A finger or two wouldn’t do. After around a minute, he took two fingers of his own and dug them between the space Ghost’s belt and his pants. He yanked Ghost towards him roughly, signaling a hoped-for transition in the action.
Ghost smirked.
“Eager are we?”
Soap didn’t even hear him. He was already fumbling with the buckle of Ghost’s belt that he was trying to wrangle off. He was too worked up, so Ghost pushed him away and walked to sit down on his cot and undo the buckle himself. As Ghost’s pants sagged, Soap eyed his bulge in the loosened material. His head quickly snapped up at Ghost’s voice, hurrying over to where he was sitting to stand in front of him.
“On your knees.”
“That an order?”
“One you better not disregard.”
Ghost reached his hand up to Soap’s shoulder and lightly pushed down, and Soap sat gently on the back of his thighs with the notion. Ghost wriggled his pants and underwear down to his thighs, and Soap couldn’t help but stare. Endowed was an understatement. He felt himself start to salivate and seeing how hard Soap had made him already filled Soap with devious pride.
“I do all that to you?”
Ghost didn’t answer, instead letting out a short exhale. Soap slowly readjusted himself, bringing himself up onto his knees, then took his right hand and slowly curled his fingers around the base of Ghost’s cock. He felt the man tense under his touch and another devilish smile grew on his face. Soap gently started massaging the tip with his free hand then gave it an array of short pecks. Seeing and feeling Ghost squirm under such minuscule movements was heavenly. Soap released the hand he had wrapped around Ghost and brought it back to his mouth, spitting on it. He put the hand around his shaft again and gave it a few slow deliberate strokes, speeding up exponentially.
Ghost let out a guttural groan, and Soap indulged the man. He kissed the tip then slackened his jaw, trying to relax as he wedged the dick down his throat. He used the hand still on the base to steady himself as he sucked, but God it was almost suffocating feeling it go down. Soap started off slow, gradually increasing in speed. He gently squeezed with the hand he still had on the base, and in response, Ghost weaved his fingers into Soap’s mohawk, directing his head to help him. Ghost let out a curse or a grunt under his breath every so often, and whenever it happened, Soap sped up ever so slightly and gave a lopsided smile as his mouth was occupied.
“Christ, Johnny, I’m about to-“
Soap pulled his head away and Ghost let out a cry at the lack of stimulation. Soap looked up at him, admiring his handiwork. Ghost was a panting mess, eyes slightly closed, looking down as if he was pleading.
“make you feel good, lieutenant?”
“Fuck…Johnny-”
“Tell me you like it.” Soap echoed, using the hand on the base to stroke him, giving him a taste of what was just ripped away and reminding him how badly he needed it. Ghost leaned his head back with a shaky moan, balling the hand on Soap’s hair into a fist.
“D-Don’t stop… please…”
That was more than enough for Soap. Hearing Ghost beg was intoxicating. He put his mouth back on the head, caressing it with his tongue before shoving it back down his throat.
“That’s it, just like that…” Ghost groaned.
Soap ate the praise up like he was starving and worked faster and faster. He felt the tears welling in his eyes from the excessive motions, but it only made him more eager. With a few more back and forths of Soap’s head, Ghost released a deep gruff groan and arched his back, leaving Soap feeling a sticky substance trickle down the back of his throat. Soap swallowed, and he continued sucking until Ghost let go of his hair and slackened his body. Soap pulled himself off Ghost, balancing himself on the backs of his thighs and licking his lips.
Soap observed Ghost trying to steady himself and catch his breath as he stood up, dusting off his pants from the floor. Ghost put his underwear back on before shrewdly grabbing Soap’s arm and pulling him beside him on the cot, then using the other hand to shove Soap onto his back. Soap let out a yelp at the sudden change before chuckling.
“Feisty, eh?”
“I can’t be the only one having all the fun around here.”
Ghost shifted on the bed as Soap readjusted, shimmying his pants and boxers down to his ankle and throwing them off of the bed. Soap propped himself up on his elbows, spreading his legs slightly. As soon as Soap was done, Ghost pushed himself to his knees, heaving Soap’s legs onto his shoulders. He then stayed in that position for around a minute, just staring at the man he was about to go down on. God, Soap looked gorgeous like this, like a dinner prepared so extravagantly you’d feel bad eating it. And it was all his to enjoy.
“What’s the holdup?”
“Just appreciating the view.”
Soap tensed with a chill as Ghost put his hand on his stomach, thumb outstretched downwards near his clit. Soap leaned on his elbows more to make eye contact with Ghost, watching him crack a sly grin. Ghost then leaned his face down into Soap’s crotch, first kissing his thighs, then dragging his fingers up and down them in a tantalizing nature. Feeling Soap shudder, he brought his mouth to the center, licking between the folds then his clit to tease the man as much as possible. Ghost watched and reveled in the reactions, seeing his body move in sync with the pleasure-filled, pleading contortions of his face. After a few short and heavy breaths from Soap, Ghost brought his mouth to his pussy and slid his tongue in like it was second nature, moving a free hand to Soap’s thigh and squeezing firmly.
The change in Ghost's conduct was dramatic. He was almost primal in his actions, feral even. Ghost moved his tongue aggressively and with purpose, trying to start slow but being unable to restrain himself. Soap let out a deep throaty groan in enjoyment, and upon hearing it Ghost moved his thumb to his clit. He rubbed in slow, deliberate circles, a complete contrast to the maneuvering of his tongue. As Soap’s back arched and body jerked at the juxtaposition, he threw his hand to his mouth to suppress more unrefined noises to come. Seeing this, Ghost moved the hand holding on to Soap’s thigh to drag Soap’s elbow down, making him uncover his mouth in the middle of a moan.
“Fuck are you doing?” Soap asked with agitation.
Ghost withdrew, using the hand on Soap’s stomach to push himself up and lean over him with intense eye contact.
“I want to hear you.” Ghost said.
“Are you stupid? We don’t want to get-”
“Didn’t ask if it was smart, Johnny. Asked you to do it. Want to know I’m doing my job right.” Ghost answered.
Soap leaned his head back, groaning deeply in frustration. Secretly hooking up and being gay in the military was one thing, being caught in the act was another. But Soap couldn’t say the thrill didn’t intensify his arousal. With Soap always being the risk taker, pulling this type of behavior out of the aloof lieutenant made him comply, even if it was apprehensively.
“Yes sir.”
Ghost got back to it immediately, the status reference fueling his rampage even further. He brought his thumb back down, now gaining significant speed in the circles he made, matching the pace of his tongue. Soap released a plethora of Scottish curses and sayings, none of which Ghost could understand, which possibly might have made him enjoy it even more. Soap’s body twitched and spasmed sporadically, and after each sudden movement, a new noise spilled from his lips. Soap at one point covered his eyes with his forearm, holding it there for a few seconds, then glancing down at Ghost after he granted himself vision again. Ghost’s look could only be described as enamored, he was graciously swallowing every piece of Soap with both his eyes and his mouth. Soap felt his cheeks redden, having someone lust over him, crave him so desperately increased his attraction tenfold.
“Lt… I’m…”
Hearing his rank spill from the lips of the wreck of a man in front of him was a drug. He kept the speed at which he rubbed with his thumb, but receded his head from Soap, instead moving the hand from the thigh down to replace him. He shoved his middle and ring fingers inside Soap as a substitute, pumping them at a similar pace to the one he had worked with previously.
The change made Soap lurch his back upwards, and on coming back down, he was face to face with Ghost, who had now angled himself over him. Soap looked him over in an attempt to discern Ghost’s thought process, scrutinizing the glint in Ghost’s eye foiling the amorous smile painting his lips.
Ghost wanted a close-up of how much he was making Soap lose his mind.
“Sick bastar-” Soap tried before he cut himself off with a cry, his body further succumbing to the movements he was subjected to.
He was on the edge, and Ghost knew it. Ghost craned his neck into Soap’s ear, letting out a deep tormenting breath, then waiting a few seconds.
Soap was gasping for air at this point. He knew what was next.
“Cum for me, Johnny,” he whispered.
As soon as he heard the nickname, Soap exploded. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes and belting out a long, emphatic moan. His legs were shaking as he felt himself tighten and slicken Ghost’s fingers further. His ears were ringing, his body felt on fire, and his heart was pounding. Ghost continued moving his fingers, gradually slowing down until Soap had successfully ridden out the high. Once he was done, Ghost fell back onto his knees, took his fingers out from Soap then brought them in front of his face, inspecting them. He turned his hand around to get a full view of it, before licking the remnants off of his hands, holding the substance in his mouth. Ghost then hung his body over Soap’s again, taking the hand on Soap’s stomach and cupping the man’s jaw to bring them to a kiss. As Soap’s lips parted, Ghost used his tongue to push the fluid back into his mouth. Ghost withdrew, watching Soap’s expression as Soap held it on his tongue, fully examining the flavor before swallowing.
“How do you taste?”
“Ten out of ten would fuck again.” Soap taunted, balling a fist onto Ghost’s shirt to drag him into another kiss.
Ghost pulled back to litter Soap’s neck and abdomen with short pecks zealously. These small kisses weren’t filled with the earlier greed, but rather tenderness and endearment. Ghost was hopelessly in love with his body. It had Soap elated. The source of so many grievances that he had thought would be the cause of another failed endeavor left the man fawning over him, almost in worship. At this revelation, Soap hastily seized one of Ghost’s wrists, making him halt.
From the covetous look in Soap’s eyes, Ghost knew immediately what he was asking for.
“Wanna take this further, Johnny?
“Affirmative.”
Ghost retreated to pull his underwear back down, and Soap positioned himself near the top of the bed, laying his head on Ghost’s pillow. While he was turning his head in the movement, Soap inhaled some of Ghost’s scent left on the fabric. It was a mix of old leather and smoke, most likely from a Mayfair out of the pack Ghost kept in his bottom dresser drawer. And it made him wild. Just as he was drinking it in, he looked up to see Ghost on top of him, feeling one hand on his hip and one on his shoulder as he mounted him. The balaclava was now back over Ghost’s face entirely, and Soap pouted his lips.
“I don’t get to see that pretty face ‘o yours?”
“Not tonight, sergeant. But I get to watch yours.”
Soap stared blankly, grimacing discontentedly.
“You see my mug all the time.”
“And I’m ever grateful for that, you’re not a bad looker. ‘Cept for that haircut.”
“Haud yer wheesht, you know you love it.” Soap was practically beaming. “Adds to my charm,”
“Keep on telling yourself that.”
With that, Ghost knelt in between Soap's spread legs, gently caressing his thighs and up to his waist where he squeezed. Soap raised his legs ever so slightly and wrapped them around the large man’s waist. Ghost took this as a sign to start lining himself up. He placed the tip of his dick by Soap’s entrance and felt Soap tense up under the contact, despite how minuscule it was. It made him impatient. Ghost had originally intended to let things play out a bit slower, but his urges proved more powerful, leaving him falling victim to his rampant primal want.
After a few drags around the hole Ghost pushed in slowly, swallowing the surprised huff from Soap and biting his lip because of it. He entered slowly, making sure Soap adjusted to the entire length and width.
“Christ…”
Ghost was thankful the mask was up, Soap would have given him shit for the smile spreading across his lips at the acknowledgment. Once he was fully prepared, he started with a small controlled thrust into Soap. Soap arched his back in response, a mewl escaping his lips when attempting to comprehend the first thrust when Ghost thrusted again. He sped up his actions very gradually, letting a deep grunt free every couple of times he propelled himself forwards. Watching Soap move up and down from the momentum, his expressions in tandem with Ghost’s actions was like heaven. Ghost took the hand on Soap’s hip and loosened it, bringing it down to Soap’s clitoris, and went back to drawing rings into the man, this time with his index and middle finger. At this, Soap took his hand and clamped down on Ghost’s shoulder, swallowing hard. As Ghost consecutively accelerated his movements, Soap was curving his back up further, which made Ghost realize for the first time just how sensitive the man was. At every touch, slight change in pace or adjustment, Soap fell further and further into elation.
“God, Ghost…”
Ghost groaned at that, squeezing the hand on Soap’s shoulder and bringing himself down beside the man’s ear. For a moment he just held himself there, unable to muster a word, too busy reveling in the pleasure he was both giving and receiving.
“Fuck you feel good,” he said eventually in a harsh whisper.
Soap’s eyes widened, and in his astonishment and bodily satisfaction, he was left unable to think of a response. Ghost thoroughly enjoyed watching the conflicting emotions run through Soap’s face, how he was most definitely annoyed while clearly getting a kick out of being pushed to a point where his brain started to fail him.
But that was just the start.
Soap soon became a stuttering, mumbling, moaning mess. Half of the words coming from his mouth were incomprehensible, a load of nonsensical noises with scattered whimpers thrown about. The other half were obscenities and the word “Ghost”. Ghost was only now realizing how much he craved hearing the Scot’s voice, specifically the way his accent got heavier under the stimulation. Ghost knew Soap was a loud bastard, but hearing him be this vocal under him was like music to his ears. It went straight to his dick, pushing him even closer to climax.
“Christ, Johnny I’m about to -”
Soap couldn’t even say anything, his train of thought was a foggy and jumbled mess. Ghost’s throat rumbled and he let out a guttural groan in pleasure at his release. Soap’s body tensed up at the feeling of the liquid partially coating his insides. Ghost’s breaths were heavy, his chest rising and falling vehemently heart pounding. He continued the pace inside of Soap until he had successfully regained his composure.
Now it was Soap’s turn.
With Ghost having already reached his peak, he felt more in control of himself and his actions, therefore making him much more in control of Soap. He took the hand he was stimulating Soap’s clit with and forced his movements to be much more deliberate and precise. With the focus now purely on Soap’s enjoyment, he knew he was going to break soon.
Soap came to his senses at that realization, well, as much as he could in a pleasure-filled daze. The incoherent noises he was making fell from his lips faster and faster until he finally said something Ghost understood.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck, Ghost I’m…”
“You close?”
Soap nodded slowly, closing his eyes and letting another cry fall from his lips.
As soon as this happened, a devilish idea swayed Ghost. He had a sly, evil grin underneath the mask, and with it, he took the hand on Soap’s shoulder and moved it down to grasp his hips. He did the same with the hand on Soap’s vagina, then used the grip he had on Soap’s abdomen to slide himself out at a tantalizingly slow pace.
Soap let out a gasp and then whined at the cessation. He was on the verge of ecstasy and Ghost knew it.
“You need it?”
“Fucking- you’re an ass you know that?” Soap spat between labored pants.
Ghost was getting his revenge from earlier.
“Could just leave you like this, Johnny.” he offered.
Ghost let out a chuckle. He didn’t hate the idea, it would be humiliating for Soap, forced to get himself off as Ghost watched.
“No, please…”
But Ghost preferred this much more.
“Say it.”
“...I need it. Please.”
“That’s what I like to hear. Good boy.” he purred.
Ghost teased him once again with his tip by the entrance before pushing himself in roughly. Soap let out a cry, then Ghost brought his hand back to Soap’s clit, starting slow with the movements of both his fingers and his hips. The satisfaction Ghost had was prominent, he liked seeing Soap have to go through the pleasure and buildup again, being under his control for even longer. He returned the speed up to where it was previously, enjoying the way Soap’s body rebounded under the dynamism of his thrusts.
Soap was getting closer and closer once again, and Ghost could tell from the increase in nonsense from his mouth as well as the volume increase. Soap didn't give a warning this time, partly due to the fact that he didn’t want his release stripped away from him again. He arched his back, throwing his head upwards and letting out a loud euphoric cry that devolved into soft moans. His legs trembled underneath Ghost, his vision white and ears thrumming as he came, then slackened his body in exhaustion. There were tears in Soap’s eyes, his body was slick with sweat and his face was almost entirely red. As Ghost helped him work through the euphoria, he studied Soap’s figure intensely, trying to ingrain the image of him into his memory. Whether it was out of admiration or enjoyment of the fruit of his labor he wasn’t sure.
Ghost eventually slowed to a stop, then moved both of his arms onto Soap’s shoulders, effectively pinning him on the bed. Soap stared at him with a weary smile, still in his stupor, while Ghost stared into his eyes with a look signifying he was purely intoxicated with him.
“So good for me,” he muttered, before dragging his balaclava up slightly, leaning down, and giving Soap a long tender kiss. Soap tried to follow his lips as Ghost pulled away from the kiss, then collapsed back when he lacked the energy to do so.
Both men were winded, Soap much more than Ghost. Ghost pulled out, trying to keep his composure and steady his breath, but heavy pants continued to escape against his will. Soap used his forearm to cover his eyes for a minute and reorient himself while Ghost took a minute to tidy up. Once Soap caught his breath, he sat up and bent to the floor to grab his trousers, shimmying them back up his legs.
As Soap laid back down, Ghost strode back over, standing in front of the bed for a beat then sitting down. He turned back to look at the Scot, and Soap gave him a simper before grabbing his wrist to drag him to lie down. Ghost could have easily overpowered Soap’s tug, but let himself be pulled down beside him, albeit apprehensively.
Soap propped himself on his side to mirror Ghost’s current position, then observed him somberly. Ghost’s body was taut and uncomfortable, Soap was visibly pushing his boundaries. Soap was hit with a small pang of despair at how Ghost was such a stranger to affection, even after such an intimate act. Ghost had presented a painful piece of himself to Soap before, and having sex with him heightened the feelings he knew he was suppressing. Ghost knew Soap was so much more than a quick fuck, and he could never chalk him up to being one. Ghost knew how dangerous this entire ordeal was logically, but for once, he resolved to put himself above the call of duty.
At the same time Ghost reached his verdict, Soap lugged his body onto Ghost’s, positioning his head on his chest and wrapping his right arm around his waist. At the impact, Soap could feel Ghost’s heartbeat speed up and his body strain. Before his body could act out the notion he had just set in his mind, Ghost instinctively panicked. It was the last thing he wanted, he wanted so badly to be easygoing enough to be affectionate with Soap, but his mind plagued him once again. Soap, hearing Ghost’s breaths become ragged, softly moved his free hand to Ghost’s, intertwining their fingers and squeezing tightly. Soap shifted, now angling his face into the crook of Ghost’s neck instead.
Soap debated on saying something, but settled on having his presence besides the man. Ghost side-eyed Soap, watching in sullen appreciation. The partial humiliation of needing such support as a grown man was overshadowed by how badly he had been deprived of it. His breathing became more gradual and his pulsed slowed. Once he had regained his composure, Ghosteyed the man laying with him. He could never truly articulate how much Soap meant to him, but he still desired to make it known. Ghost hesitated, then laid his arms on top of Soap’s body. It started with his limbs awkwardly positioned on top of a man practically snuggling into him, but sooner or later he started to gently squeeze and hold Soap in his arms. Feeling the embrace, Soap smiled into Ghost’s neck, causing Ghost to exhale deeply, trying to enjoy the affection wholeheartedly without preemptively expecting its end.
They cuddled for about ten minutes before Soap maneuvered out of Ghost’s arms, settled himself on his side again, then spoke up.
“Can I please see that pretty face o’ yours?” Soap asked quietly, bringing his hand up and holding the base of the mask between two fingers.
Ghost faltered. Soap had already seen it during the takeback of the vaqueros base in Las Almas, but that was different, it was to motivate the team. This was personal, and if he did it now he would be left defenseless. Of course, all that Ghost wanted was to be personal, but once again his mind betrayed his heart. He stayed silent.
“Ye don’t need to, I was just-”
“Sorry,” Ghost cut him off.
“Don’t be” Soap responded, partially disappointed yet understanding.
Soap had revealed a vulnerability just like he had, while it had been brought to the surface against his will, he still revealed it. Ghost was afraid. His callsign and skull were a representation that he had killed the man beneath the mask. But here Soap was, drawing out his humanity again.
Ghost sighed deeply, shifting to place himself next to Soap, nestling into his body. Soap was a little stunned at how gentle he was now, and his lips formed into a soft smile as he spooned him with a hug. Once Ghost was fully comfortable, he brought his hands up, removing his balaclava and balling it up in his fists. He couldn’t bring himself to turn to face Soap, but the gesture was acknowledged and appreciated. Soap smiled, then gave Ghost’s hair a ruffle making Ghost let out a sleepy groan in contentment. Soap snickered, running his fingers through the man’s hair again, gently massaging his scalp.
“Fan ‘o this are ya?”
Ghost didn’t answer, instead leaning his head backward closer into Soap’s body and touch.
“...Johnny,” Ghost muttered.
Soap cocked his head at a slight angle and grinned.
“Yeah?”
“... nothing,”
He shoved Ghost’s head lightly.
“Softie,” Soap jeered.
“Shut it,”
“Or else?” he said gingerly.
“Or else I kill you, dickwad,” Ghost responded.
“I’d like to see you try,” Soap answered, pecking Ghost softly on the cheek.
The two gained a tacit understanding of how vital each man was to the other. How each of their pasts and experiences put them through dehumanizing trials, and how it changed their outlook on the future. Soap’s body had often made him feel abhorrent, wrong, undeserving of love. Simon’s past had done the same to him. But here both of them were, relishing and holding onto each other from a pure and heartfelt connection, proving their notions about themselves wrong. Neither Ghost nor Soap had realized it yet, but if given the chance, they would both sacrifice themselves for the other. The ever-looming possibility of death was only a fleeting thought. All that mattered was right here, right now, they had each other, and neither would let go.