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It took about 12 hours to fly back to Seoul from LA because they had a performance with the band the day prior. Hendery and Lucas were jet lagged while Shohei took another flight to fly back to Japan to spend it with his family for the New Years.
When the three of them arrived back home in Seoul, it was literally the day before they had to attend the New Years house party at Taeyong’s. The three of them ended up sleeping for an entire day before having to get ready for the house party the following day. Yangyang, Hendery’s LDR boyfriend, and soulmate literally dragged them out of bed and got them to wash up and dress up knowing how tired everyone was.
“I know you guys are tired, but c'mon the party is gonna be so much fun. Besides, you guys never come home unless you have a performance here. We all missed you. Everyone misses you guys.”
Mark rubbed his sleepy face and sighed as he pulled on a nice vintage shirt from his closet. Ever since the band got signed to a label and got famous, they’ve been so busy touring and traveling that they never have time to visit home anymore. They all talked about wanting to visit home more often, but they are artists and they’ve been so booked the last few years.
Yangyang just rolled his eyes as Hendery sat next to him, kissing his cheeks. “I’m sorry baby,” Hendery said. “But we did promise we will stay here for two weeks because of New Years and for Taeyong and Doyoung’s wedding. We’re gonna have so much fun okay?”
Yangyang just sighed. “It’s fine. Whatever. Just get dressed, please.”
They arrived at the New Year's big house party at around 6pm and the first person Mark saw as he walked into the house was Doyoung, his older cousin, who swarmed him and his friends with big kisses and hugs.
“Oh my God, you guys really are here. How long has it been since I’ve last seen you guys? Maybe 2 years ago?” Doyoung said, ruffling Hendery’s hair. “I really missed you guys. I can’t wait to see the performance at the wedding.”
Both Taeyong and Doyoung had literally begged them to perform at their wedding and Mark really couldn’t say no. Doyoung was his only cousin and he was the first person to ever push him to actually start a band. Mark had spent a couple weeks writing a damn song for them and it’s still unfinished and hopefully he will have time to finish it soon. Mark saw Jungwoo, Yuta, Taeil, Jaehyun and the other hyungs and they spent 2 hours conversing, drinking, eating, laughing, and just talking about life. It wasn’t until the topic of soulmates was brought up. Apparently, all of his hyungs have found their soulmates, except for him.
“Do you think your soulmate could be around here?” Yuta suddenly asked, looking around. It was a party filled with families and friends of friends. Mark also looked around too and it wasn’t until he saw him that he quickly looked back away. He was really hoping the night would end smoothly without him having to talk to a certain someone.
Right. Back to the topic of soulmates. His parents had told him that all soulmates were born with the same body mark tattoo, placed somewhere on their body and it resembles something they both love and cherish. Everyone meets their soulmates when they are young, very likely you can also meet them before you turn 20, but Mark had never found his. The thing was, Mark had the tattoo of the fucking sun on his left forearm, where anyone can see it in bright daylight and it’s a pretty uncommon mark. Growing up, he never really learned to love the sun. It embraces shine, it’s hot, and extremely too bright to look at and makes you tear up when you look at it for too long. Of course he enjoys the sun because it’s always going to be there when he wakes up each morning, it's constant, and it never leaves, and it will always gonna be there each and every day. Mark thinks that it’s what’s going to resemble his soulmate, someone too bright and annoyingly always there.
Throughout the years he’s lived, he’s always been searching for his soulmate, asking around, going on several dates and he even went as low as posting his tattoo on social media to see if anyone has got the same soulmate tattoo as him. It was futile because he should have met his soulmate when he was a kid but he never did. At this point, he was already 24, without a significant other or even soulmate. It was beyond saddening.
Everyone knows about his tattoo, his friends and families have helped him several times searching for someone with the same mark as him. Even his fans also tried to help him but it all leads to nothing and he thinks that he might not even have a soulmate to begin with.
“No one has the same tattoo as me,” he says. “It’s whatever, I don’t really care about it anymore. I think I’ll end up being alone forever.”
Lucas shrugged next to him, finishing his drink. “It just seems like you’re the unlucky one. Hendery found his soulmate in Yangyang when they were 2 and Xiaojun was literally my first love before I even knew what love was. I’m thinking, what if you found your soulmate already but didn’t know?”
Mark just sighed and took a sip of his drink. “I truly doubt it.”
Jungwoo laughed, snickering. “Oh wait, didn’t Mark get married before? I remember that he got married to someone in kindergarten. That was a funny memory.”
Mark almost chokes. That was one memory he can’t really recall because he doesn’t remember much of it, but he did end up drawing a sun on the other boy’s forearm. His 1st grade class had spent the day with the kindergarteners and his friends had dared him to get married for fun and the other boy was wearing a yellow hat with curly hair sticking out and had cute freckles and Mark felt something. Whatever that was. He clearly remembers what the other boy looked like and can recall how his eyes looked. Soft and daring and so mischievous. A weird combination.
He did see the boy again and again and long story short, the boy has grown to be someone who Mark wants to probably ignore for the rest of his life if he could. In fact, Mark really doesn’t like the boy who he thought made his body tingle. He actually hates him more as years pass.
“Oh yeah. You mean Taeyong’s little brother Donghyuck?” Jaehyun chimed in. “Well that marriage was long down the drain the moment that kid opened his mouth and Mark got all mad. I still believe it’s fate.”
Both Lucas and Hendery laughed, high fiving Jaehyun. Mark just groaned, taking another sip. He loves his best fiends but truly, he wants to punch them sometimes.
Everyone turned around to see Johnny holding a champagne drink, smiling like today was the best day of his life. “Hello everyone, I just want to say a big thank you to all of you who joined us tonight! Happy New Years and may the best things come your way. And also a big congratulations to my two best friends, soon to be wedded, Taeyong and Doyoung for putting together this house party! Cheers!” Johnny was surely drunk but when was he not drunk?
All of them put their drink up and cheered.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Taeyong walk up to them.
“Markie,” he said, happily, pulling him into a tight hug and then did the same to Hendery and Lucas. Taeyong smiled at them. “You guys are going to perform at my wedding and I know it’s going to be amazing and everything but I have something to tell you.” Mark groaned, shaking his head while Lucas and Hendery looked worried. Because if anything, Taeyong having an idea is a bad one.
“I already know this is bad news,” Hendery muttered.
Taeyong grabbed onto Mark’s arm and led him around, looking around a bit. When he spotted what he was looking for, he quickly called his name. “Donghyuck, get your ass over here!”
Mark immediately knew he wanted to drown himself. The whole two hours he was here, he wanted to avoid the very boy who made his blood boil. And he really wasn’t keen on being in the same proximity as him the entire night. He finally looked at Donghyuck, who now has slightly long golden ash brown hair, skin still as sunkissed as ever, freckles still very present, and boy Mark just wished Donghyuck didn’t have that face or that sunkissed look because no way did God waste such a beautiful appearance on someone with such a distasteful personality. Donghyuck looked over, making a confused face at his older brother before rolling his eyes. He suddenly made eye contact with Mark, and scrunched his face, disgusted. Taeyong waved him over and Donghyuck sighed before leaving his table.
“What do you want now? And why the hell did you invite this asshole and his dumbass band crew to this party?” Donghyuck crossed his arm, looking at his brother but avoiding Mark, pretending he wasn’t there. Good. This hatred is very mutual.
Taeyong sighed at his brother. “Donghyuck, be nice and act like the adult that you are. I called you over to say that you’re in charge of taking care of Mark’s band for my wedding.”
Mark was flabbergasted, shaking his head, not believing what he was hearing. It was going to ruin all his plans. He doesn’t want anything to do with Donghyuck at all. He just wanted to perform a song for the wedding and then head back to LA, not having to worry about anything else. Not having to deal with a boy whose presence he hates so much that he wants to strangle him.
Donghyuck raised his brows, confused. “Why?
Taeyong just smiled, looking down at Mark’s arm, the very arm that showed his sun tattoo before wrapping an arm on both of them, both of them on one side of him. “Because I know how much you both don’t like each other, but please, for my wedding, I want my baby brother to get along with my future husband’s cousin. Do this for me. Please.”
Lucas sighs as he stops Mark from stress drinking the night away. Whenever Mark gets upset or annoyed about something, he drinks. A lot. Hendery and Lucas just looked at each other, worried but also very annoyed because they know Mark is overreacting to something as small as this.
“Mark, it’s going to be fine! It’s not the end of the world.”
Mark groaned, slamming his drink down. “God, I really can’t do this. Not with him. I’ve never done anything horrible in my life but why did god put this horrible person in my life?”
Hendery shrugged. “Because nobody’s life is perfect.”
Suddenly, Yangyang found them and attached himself to Hendery, kissing his mouth. “Guys, join me in the pool area. Some of my friends wanted to see you all again. They said they missed you so let’s go.”
Hendery shook his head at his boyfriend. “Sorry babe. Mark is drunk and I don’t think he’s sober enough to function.”
Yangyang just whined. “Please?”
Mark immediately stood up. “I’m fine. I’m not really that drunk. I can function perfectly.”
Lucas grabbed his arm, whispering in his ear. “You sure?”
Mark nodded. “Positive. Wait, what friends do you mean again?”
Yangyang just smiled. “Don’t tell me you forgot about them!” He grabbed all of them and led them to the pool area. When they got to the corner of the pool, Mark finally could sense what was happening. It was a trap and Mark clearly didn’t fly back to Korea for this.
“Babe,” Hendery said, sensing that something is up. “What is going on?”
“Oh hi guys,” Jaemin said, cheerfully walking out waving and smiling at him. He was shirtless and wearing swim trunks. “Long time no see. It feels like forever since you’ve been back because you guys are so busy.”
Mark internally facepalmed himself as he looked at Lucas who was looking around at everyone, gaping. Yangyang’s friends, Mark almost forgot who exactly Yangyang hung out with. There was Jaemin, Jisung, Renjun, Chenle, and of course the devil, Donghyuck and they were holding water guns. Mark immediately regrets everything in his life.
“I’m sorry guys, they made me do this,” Yangyang said, before picking up a water gun.
“Now with that,” Renjun said, smiling. “Let the house party begin.”
All got wet and eventually Jaemin threw Mark into the pool and Hendery was playfully wrestling with Jisung while Donghyuck and Lucas were chasing each other, shooting at each other. Donghyuck had accidentally tripped into the water, screaming. It got to the point where everyone from the house party could hear them but none of it seemed to matter. Chenle had started to splash water on him and Mark made sure to pull him in the water as well. They spent hours just playing with each other.
After some time, they all dried up and Mark thought about how it’s been a long time since he actually did see Yangyang’s friends and he had actually forgotten that Yangyang is best friends with Donghyuck, the person he hates so much. Other than talking to Yangyang occasionally, he doesn’t really keep in touch with everyone except for the older hyungs and it makes him realize how he had forgotten how the younger ones all looked.
Everyone looked almost the same, except for how much they have grown up. Jaemin and Jeno looked even more handsome, Renjun looked more boyish and cuter, Jisung and Chenle have definitely grown taller.
It was Jeno who sparked the conversation about how they were doing as they sat around and looked at the dark sky.
They were in their last year of undergrad and both Jaemin and Jeno are computer science majors and everyone knew they were soulmates since grade school. Renjun was studying literature and found his soulmate when he was kid, with a girl named Xiaoting and apparently he learned Donghyuck hasn’t found his soulmate for some odd reason. Donghyuck had excused himself to leave earlier because he said he was getting everyone drinks.
Mark bit his lips for a moment, trying not to really care about the fact that someone he’s disliked and hated for years hasn’t found a soulmate. He had thought that in the past, Donghyuck did have someone but maybe they just weren’t his soulmate. But surely with that personality? It’d be a miracle for anyone to fall in love with Donghyuck out of all the people there are on earth. Maybe he’s just bitter and mean, especially towards Donghyuck. He thinks everyone deserves a soulmate anyways, regardless if you’re an asshole.
“Why hasn’t he found his soulmate?” Lucas asked, curious.
They all shrugged. Jeno just leaned back on his chair, thinking. “I don’t know. He just never found his. I don’t think he really cares because he was never into this soulmate thing. He thinks it’s stupid. But funny enough, out of all of us, Mark and Donghyuck are the only ones we know who haven't found their soulmates.”
“What is even his tattoo? We’ve never seen it.” Lucas said. “Honestly, Donghyuck’s fucking pretty, don’t know why anyone hasn’t knocked him off his feet yet.” Mark rolled his eyes at that.
“We don’t know. He doesn’t show it and we’ve never seen it either. He hates talking about it though.” Jaemin said, sighing. “Enough about him. Why haven’t you found yours Mark?”
Mark just shrugged. “I haven’t found anyone with the same tattoo as me. Don’t think I’ll be lucky any time soon cuz I really don’t think there is anyone out there for me.”
They talked for a while until Donghyuck came back and threw everyone a bottle. “Drink up.” He gave everyone a bottle except Mark.
“Are you going to give me one or not?” Mark asked, eyes following Donghyuck’s movements.
Donghyuck didn’t say anything as he sat back down on the chair next to the pool and opened his own bottle. Mark groaned and walked towards him. Donghyuck just placed his bottle next to him, shifting away. Maybe he was scared Mark was going to touch him.
“If you want one, beg for it.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “What are you? 12? Just give me the damn drink.”
“Donghyuck, just give him the bottle,” Yangyang yelled, annoyed. “If you both start fighting, I’m making you both kiss when it’s midnight.”
Donghyuck groaned as he handed Mark his bottle and without thinking, Mark forcefully grabbed it and it caused them to touch. One thing about them, every time they touch, it’s a feeling you can’t explain. Mark had felt this many times before. And he didn’t know what it was until he had asked his mom about it the first time he touched Donghyuck’s hands when they first met for the first time as kids. His mom had told him if he ever touched someone and he felt a pleasure of tingly emotions and want, it means he had found the one. In the back of his head, it was what he feared. The what ifs. Unfortunately, with all his friends, it had never happened to them because it was rare. Super rare and he had read online that only very compatible soulmates feel this.
Before he knew it or could comprehend the shock his body felt, Donghyuck pushed him into the water.
“Oh my bad, Mark,” Donghyuck smirked, just as Mark resurfaced from the water. The others were just watching as Mark heard Jisung say to Jeno. “It’s getting boring watching these two have a lovers fight every time Mark comes back.”
Mark rolled his eyes and climbed back to the surface just to grab and dunk Donghyuck in the water. Donghyuck wasn’t strong but he will fight back. Donghyuck gasped and pushed him away once he surfaced back up the water, but Mark grabbed his hands, stopping him and the strong sensation flowed through his blood, making him shiver. It was bad. He immediately let go and Donghyuck gasped, narrowing his eyes at him, distancing himself.
“Everyone, it’s finally New Years,” Johnny shouted, coming out to the pool area along with the rest of the hyungs. “Now grab your soulmate and kiss. It’s gonna be a big year!”
Mark sighed and climbed out of the water. His eyes naturally gravitated towards Donghyuck who was looking up at the sky, face wet but he was smiling as the sky filled with fireworks. Everyone around them kissed and Mark just smiled, opening his bottle and chugging it down all the way.
“Mark, fuck, how many did you have?” Lucas asked, helping him up the stairs. “Donghyuck, I’m bringing Mark upstairs!”
Donghyuck was still drinking as he talked to Renjun on the couch. He suddenly looked over at Lucas. “Huh? Sure whatever. Make sure he doesn’t puke anywhere or I will kill him.”
Mark sturred and Lucas pulled him up the stairs into a random room. Lucas left and Mark dozed off but it wasn’t until a few hours later he heard a scream and woke up instantly. He sat up, seeing Donghyuck at the doorway. Donghyuck was clearly drunk and his freckled face was red, feet almost tripping as he leaned against the door frame.
“The fuck you doing in my room fucktard?” Donghyuck pointed at him. “You need to get out now.” He walked towards him and Mark tried moving out of the way before they could even touch but he was drunk and Donghyuck was drunk, it was not a good combination. They bumped into each other and Donghyuck groaned, because he too felt it. It was too strong this time and before he knew what he was doing, he pushed Donghyuck under him.
“Mark,” he said, shifting under him. “Get off me! You shouldn’t be touching me.” It was a mutual agreement that they knew to never touch each other but Mark couldn’t take it anymore. This feeling, the addicting sensation, the want. He wanted more of this feeling and he needed it. He wanted to know what the fuck it was and why it only happened with this boy, who was underneath him and with no one else.
Mark closed his eyes and before he knew how the night would end, he crashed his lips against Donghyuck.
It was confusing and dazed, he couldn’t remember it clearly or how they even got their clothes off in the first place but he had Donghyuck’s legs wrapped around his waist and he was pushing inside, breathing hard against his neck. It was good, so fucking good that Mark didn’t want to stop and couldn’t stop. Donghyuck had his hands on this shoulder, gripping it hard as his body was moving up the bed each time Mark thrusted harder and deeper. Donghyuck’s body was soft, toned, and so addicting because all he could feel is want. He needed Donghyuck’s body like no other because now that he had him and felt him, nothing else compares. It was as if Donghyuck’s body was meant for him.
Mark woke up with a migraine, the alarm clock screaming into his ear, and he felt someone warm next to him. Mark rubbed his face and grabbed the alarm clock before shutting it off. He went back to bed, cuddling with whoever was next to him. Whoever was next to him smelled like lemon and sunshine and something was not right. He knows this smell. He opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. He suddenly remembered last night, how it felt, having Donghyuck for the first time and just letting his feelings consume him. He leaned back on the bed, rubbing his face, and when he finally looked back, he noticed that the blanket had slipped off of Donghyuck’s body, who was sleeping on his stomach with his face pressed to the pillow. He was about to cover him up until he saw it. The sun tattoo mark right on his left ass cheek. That was when he had enough. Strong emotions filled him up and all he could think about was how it fucking made no sense but also how everything made perfect sense. It was how everything about his and Donghyuck’s life revolved around each other, how they fucking can’t get rid of each other, how every time they touch he felt drawn to him, but what he didn’t get was why. Why is it that the person he couldn’t stand the most in the world was his soulmate? Life really was a fucking mischief. It was confusing.
“Fuck!” He yelled, frustrated, getting up. This was not how he wanted his new year to start, it was not what he least expected.
Donghyuck stirred awake, his body turning around. He looked up around him, sleepy and confused. He finally looked towards Mark and then at their naked bodies. He grimaced and sat up, covering his body, wrapping himself up and that moment Mark saw it in his face. Fear.
“You- why didn’t you ever tell me that you and I have the same soulmate tattoo?! It’s right on your ass.”
Donghyuck rolled his eyes, hugging himself. “As if I ever wanted to be your fucking soulmate. God knows how much I prayed for this to not happen but you know what?” He faced him again. He pointed at him, mad and furious. “This happened because you fucking touched me, while we were drunk. Just because you saw my ass doesn’t mean shit.”
Mark groaned, confused and also so fucking pissed. Why couldn’t his soulmate be someone else? “No, you listen. I know you feel it too don’t you? We avoided touching each other for years because of this,” Mark tried to motion something but gave up. “Everytime we touch, it’s like our bodies were trying to say something and I have tried not to think about it because who in the world would be soulmates with someone they hate? And what makes you think it was my fault?”
“Everything is your fault Mark.”
Mark stared at him. “Ever since we met, you made my life a living hell. We fight and we argue so much that I just had to get away from you. I created a band, moved to LA to start this new journey of my life with my best friends, and I didn’t want to go back home because you would be there.”
Donghyuck didn’t say anything. He just stared down at the blankets.
“All my life I’ve been looking for my soulmate. But now I find out that it has always been you. You know I had that same mark as you. Fuck, even the first time we met, you saw my tattoo and I even drew it on your arm. Donghyuck, why didn’t you ever mention it or tell me? It’s been years.”
Donghyuck shook his head, furious. “I fucking told you. I didn’t want us to be soulmates. We hated each other and I’m not just going to show you my naked ass so that you could see it. It proves nothing. This mark that we have, it’s just a mistake.”
Mark closed his eyes as Donghyuck unwrapped the blankets off his body. He couldn’t help it but he pulled him in closer but Donghyuck pushed him away. It wasn’t until he got Donghyuck on his lap that he finally said it. “I hate you so much and I know you hate me too. But this. Fuck, we’re a mess.” Mark leaned in to kiss him, hard and mad. “Just one more round and then we’ll talk about this. I need to let my anger out so bad.”
He made Donghyuck ride him on the bed, gasping each time he slammed down and he knows Donghyuck knows it too. That they’re addicted to each other, the feeling of them just touching each other because they’re soulmates. Mark held him close, kissing his neck and his jaw, sucking his nipples and squeezing his ass hard.
“You fit me so fucking well. How is that even possible? Squeezing me so well and riding it like it’s been yours. You’re made for my dick, aren’t you? Fuck.”
“God, I hate this and I hate you so much,” Donghyuck barked back, slamming down hard.
“The feeling is mutual darling.”
Taeyong and Doyoung were in the kitchen as he and Donghyuck finally walked down the stairs, having already showered and dressed up. Taeyong looked at them, confused.
“Morning! Lucas had told me you spent the night but I wouldn’t have guessed it was in Donghyuck’s room.”
Donghyuck rolled his eyes at his brother before going to the fridge to get some water. Mark sat down on the chair, pushing his hair back. This was going to be a very frustrating talk.
“Taeyong, you really had no clue that Donghyuck has the same tattoo mark as me?”
Doyoung and Taeyong looked at each other, guilty. Taeyong bit his lips, wiping the tables. “Well, even if I did, that isn’t for me to say. Life is about finding your soulmate and I didn't want to be the one finding your soulmate for you. Donghyuck knew way before that you and him were soulmates. It was up to you to find out.”
Mark looked at Donghyuck for a moment. It feels weird admitting that they’re soulmates when they’re nothing but people who hate each other. There were just so many things they have to talk about and he’s just not sure how they both can handle the turmoil that is gonna erupt. “He never told me.”
Donghyuck sighed and threw a dirty napkin at him. “I don’t owe you shit Mark. Especially not this.”
“How was I supposed to know you were my soulmate? Huh pull down your pants? Seriously.”
Taeyong stepped in before Donghyuck could retort back. “Hey, hey. No fighting. You guys are adults. Act like one.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “As if Donghyuck can be an adult for one minute, we wouldn’t be fighting. But he’s right. Us being soulmates? It’s a joke.”
Donghyuck snorted. “You married me in kindergarten, remember?”
“Well clearly that was a mistake. We’re a mistake.” Mark sneered.
Doyoung had told them to shut up and stop fighting as he placed breakfast in front of them. “You both need to stop acting like you’re still kids. It’s time to grow up okay? Soulmates or not, it’s time you both be mature and outgrow this thing. Understand?”
Mark sighed and reluctantly nodded while Donghyuck scooped up his eggs and said, “He’s the immature one. Not me.”
“Donghyuck!” Taeyong slapped his arm, hard. “Wouldn’t it hurt to at least be nice to someone who literally fucked you? I can see those hickeys of yours.”
Donghyuck just grimaced. “He wasn’t even that good.”
Mark glared at him from across the table. “You seemed to enjoy my dick this morning didn’t you darling?”
It took a bit of more bickering before the rest of the morning went smoother without him and Donghyuck cross eyeing each other and making snarky comments at one another every few seconds. When they finished eating, Doyoung told them to wash the dishes and Mark wanted to complain but it was no use. He had to be an adult about this. It was Donghyuck who did the washing while he wiped, without touching one another. If he accidentally touched or brushed Donghyuck’s arm, he knows he will start another fight all over again.
When it was time for him to leave, Taeyong called him back into the living room.
“What now? I already said goodbye to everyone.”
“I have an idea. Why don’t you live here with us? Maybe it will help you get along with Hyuck more.”
Mark’s eyes grew wide while Donghyuck shook his head furiously, turning to look at his brother, annoyed. “Oh you think that’s a great idea huh? I don’t think so.”
“Why not? It’s time you both get to know each other and be actual friends because you are each other’s soulmates.”
“Just because he found out he’s my soulmate doesn’t mean anything,” Donghyuck retorted, rolling his eyes on the couch. “I don’t care if he’s my soulmate or not. I don’t want him living here.”
Taeyong ignored him and looked at Mark. “Well Mark, do what you must with this information. You either come live with us and try to get along with him or run away and avoid your soulmate for the rest of your life.”
The next few days, it consists of him, and his friends hanging out with the older hyungs, going to movies, playing games, just being a regular guy back home. He likes being a regular person without having to worry about being famous. Taeyong had accidentally spilled the word about Donghyuck being his soulmate while they were out bowling. Let’s say the conversation afterwards made him uncomfortable nonetheless.
“No way,” Jaehyun said, looking at Mark. “I knew it.”
“How did you know?”
Everyone looked at Mark, raising their eyes at him as if he was stupid. He quickly averted his eyes because maybe they were right. How did everyone already know but he couldn’t acknowledge it? When was it so obvious to everyone? Johnny just wrapped his arms around him. Out of everyone in the group, Johnny was the closest to Donghyuck because Johnny used to tutor him in math in high school.
“You and Donghyuck always had this weird touchy thing. Everyone knows about it. And besides, you didn’t know that he’s the epitome of the sun? His skin color, his energy, how he’s a constant in your life and to top it off, his favorite flower is a sunflower.”
Mark groaned. “What does sunflowers have to do with anything? I hate sunflowers.”
“Hate is a big word you know.”
It was his turn so he took a bowling ball and made a strike. He turned back to Johnny and the others. “What does he even study?” He admits that he doesn’t really pay attention to Donghyuck at all these years. Why would he? When Donghyuck’s whole existence to him made him angry.
Some of them shrugged while Johnny just smiled. “Oh that’s a cute question. He’s a major nerd.”
Mark blinked his eyes as he rolled another ball and this time he missed a couple pins. He sat back down.
“He’s a game designer along with Sungchan, his ex. I think they’re developing a new game or whatever.”
“You got yourself a real nerd ass soulmate,” Jungwoo said. “He’s not just smart. You know that he literally won every scholarship he’s applied to in high school and in college, right? Donghyuck and Sungchan are going to MIT to help out with a gaming project this year. The amount of boys and girls that crushed on him was endless.”
Mark raised his brows. “Great, just great.” Not only is Donghyuck super smart, he’s also on great terms with his ex.
It’s not that sex was something he did often. He didn’t have that much game, being an artist and a band member and with the fact that people have soulmates now. But sex with Donghyuck was good, maybe because of how drawn together they are due to touch. But he can’t sleep with him again because he doesn’t want to do anything related to him again because he wants to leave for LA and avoid coming back to Seoul for a couple of years just to ignore him all over again. Maybe Donghyuck was right. Just because they were soulmates doesn’t mean anything if they didn’t like each other. But to Mark, finding out that Donghyuck was his soulmate built a whole new level of anger he didn’t know existed. In fact, it wasn’t just anger. It was confusion, frustration, and rage, a mix of intense feelings he had never felt before; he had never felt this way about a certain person before. But all those emotions don't compare to his curiosity of why. Of why Donghyuck kept his mouth shut for years. Why Donghyuck let him make a fool out of himself for years.
It was their last week in Seoul and they were rehearsing their song.
Hendery said he already had a knack for who his soulmate was a long time ago but he knew that Mark would throw a fit if he ever said it to his face.
Mark stopped strumming his guitar and looked at his best friend. “You knew? How?”
Hendery shrugged. “You know I’ve been dating Yangyang since high school even though we knew we were soulmates long before that. He’s been best friends with Donghyuck since forever and you and I have been friends since we were diapers. It wasn’t hard to catch on. You did tell me that every time you touched him, you feel super weird and super tingly and Yangyang told me that Donghyuck also feels super anxious whenever you guys touch or whenever you guys are in the same proximity. It’s a rare thing for soulmates and it was so obvious you guys were a match. Donghyuck is your sun.”
Mark shook his head. “That is absurd.”
Hendery shrugged, giving up. “He’s always going to be in your life no matter what, unless he dies or something. I don’t know man.”
Mark put down his guitar, thinking. “Well, for sure with how Taeyong is literally his brother, I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of him. Not in this lifetime. When Doyoung started seeing Taeyong when we younger, Taeyong always invited Donghyuck to our house and he would tease me, call me names, make me eat shit and then tried to get me in trouble for the things he did.” Mark shook his head, studdering. “What makes this all worse was that he never stopped when I told him to. It got to the point that we kept continuously fighting that our parents didn’t let us be alone together unsupervised. I thought it would get better in middle school but that was when we kissed for the first time. He actually had ketchup next to him and then decided to spit it in my mouth after. After that, I knew we weren’t ever going to be civil. He’s just so terrible.”
“Gross,” Lucas said, pretending to barf. “Seriously, you kissed him with that mouth of yours?”
Mark groaned. “Dude, I was a kid. And it wasn’t even a real kiss. I took his candy by accident because like it was in my house where all the candies were and then Donghyuck claimed it was his candy. I had to transfer it by my mouth so he wouldn’t be mad, I had my tongue in his mouth and after that he squeezed ketchup into his own mouth and spat in my mouth.”
“I mean at least you’re still alive?” Hendery said, with a small jittery smile. Mark rolled his eyes at him.
“This touching thing between us, it got stronger during high school for some reason. When we were younger, we knew it was strange, but I think as we grew older, the sensation got really strong. It still feels like that now.”
A minute later, Shohei walked into the garage and gave everyone ice cream. Shohei arrived yesterday from the airport and Lucas drove out to pick him up. They filled Shohei with the chaos that happened when he was gone and Shohei, who barely knew Donghyuck, thought that they would look cute together. Mark hates his friends. They were just chatting and eating their ice cream for awhile and that was when he saw Yangyang and Donghyuck step into the garage. He and Lucas were shirtless, and they really weren’t expecting company that day.
Mark blinked at them, wondering why the hell they were there. Yangyang leaned in to kiss Hendery, smiling.
“Sorry to interrupt this practice session. Hendery told me about practice and I just wanted to listen to what you guys have so far.”
Hendery looked at his boyfriend and then glanced at Donghyuck, who was sitting on the couch. “Babe, you should have asked Mark before you invited him.”
Yangyang grunted and turned away. “Unfortunately I made him come.” They were practicing in Hendery’s family garage because he had the drums and guitar. Yangyang sat next to his best friend and grinned. “He’s also never seen you guys play. Like ever. Which is really odd. Like how can my best friend not seen my boyfriend’s band play before?”
Mark didn’t say anything for a while. Donghyuck didn’t seem like he wanted to be there, but Yangyang was scary and he always gets what he wants. Donghyuck rolled his eyes and looked at him and then at everyone else, crossing his arms. Then he turned back to Mark, grimacing at his shirtless body.
“I’m sure it’s going to be nothing special, probably with a trash song that Mark’s writing. Besides, I’m in charge of you guys so I need to know how you all sound. I can’t let you guys perform at my brother’s wedding sounding like ass.”
Mark could feel his anger flowing in his bones but continued eating his ice cream and before he even knew what his body was doing, he walked towards his soulmate, bit a whole chunk of ice cream, leaned over and grabbed Donghyuck’s jaw. He immediately shoved his tongue into his mouth, transferring the ice cream. Donghyuck tried pushing him away but Mark was stronger. When he was sure it was melting into the boy’s mouth, he pulled back and smiled. Donghyuck glared at him, in disbelief and disgust before wiping his mouth and Donghyuck knew better than to spit on the floor of Hendery’s garage. He covered his mouth with his sleeve and started coughing.
“Hey don’t be mad. You literally did this to me first. Remember?”
Donghyuck arched his brows, furious. “What the fuck?”
Mark turned around and saw his friends gaping at him. He shrugged, picked up his guitar and strummed. “Let’s start from the beginning shall we?”
Mark was packing up his things at his parents place with Doyoung watching him from the doorway. Mark grunted and tossed his clothes into his suitcase, upset. He was going to have to stay at Taeyong’s for the rest of the week because Doyoung has forced him to. He said that if he didn’t manage to be friendly and civil with Donghyuck before he left, he was going to regret it. And that Doyoung would never accept someone who didn’t value family.
Mark turned to look at his cousin. “I’m only doing this for you and no one else.”
Doyoung frowned at him, crossing his arms. They stared at each other for a moment until Doyoung sighed and sat down on his bed. “Why don’t you realize that I want this for you? This isn’t for me, but for you. I love you and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be making you do this. And if you don’t become friendly with him by the end of it, then you know that you’ve tried. I want you to get to know him and talk to him as an adult, regardless if you’re soulmates or not. Not because of me or Taeyong, but because you want this for yourself.”
Mark looked down at his sweater, curling his fingers on them. “But I don’t want this.”
“Why?”
Mark looked at his cousin. “You out of everyone know. He’s a menace and he’s made my life a living hell the minute he came into my life. I can’t stand him and I know that the moment I try to make us get along, a fight will erupt. We’re two peas in a pot that don’t belong together no matter what the world says. I’m not sure if we’ll come to a point where I can forgive him for all the things he’s done to me. I moved away because I don’t want him in my life, I ran away because I wanted to be happy for once in my life.”
Doyoung gave him a small smile and didn’t say anything for a minute. “You shouldn’t run away from something that will always be around. You can’t keep running away from him. Running away from him is useless just because you wanted to be happy. No matter what, I don’t think running away is the correct way to fix your problems.”
Mark frowned but nodded. “It’s just… I don’t know why we are soulmates. I would have never guessed it.”
Doyoung frowned at him, eyes casting a very soft expression. “But you knew and you felt it didn’t you? You just didn’t want to face it.”
Mark sighed. “I had a feeling but I didn’t want it to be true. If I pretended it didn’t exist, then it wouldn’t exist.”
“But the moment you first saw him, without even touching him, you already knew.”
Mark frowns. Yes, the first time he saw Donghyuck, he liked him because he was cute and pretty, like a fallen sun from a sweet hot day, daring and so precious, but he didn’t know him, but regardless of that, the first time they made eye contact, it was as if the world fell into place, that somehow he knew that Donghyuck was his. But then, it changed, when he got to know him. Things shifted and their personalities clashed like a whirlwind, they didn’t match, but each time they were near, it was like there was fire that needed to let out, but wouldn’t burn, it was something that won’t fade no matter how hard he tried to light it out.
Doyoung is right. He needs to face him, he needs to stop running away everything, from his soulmate, from his fears, from his own life.
He finished packing and Doyoung drove him to Taeyong’s and when he arrived, Donghyuck was in the kitchen blasting loud indie music while mixing food on the counter. When Donghyuck looked up, his eyebrows furrowed for a second but then he shook his head, realizing that Mark was carrying a suitcase.
“Oh tell me he’s here to say an early goodbye. That he’s leaving for the states now and I won’t have to see his ugly face for years.”
“Nope, he’s not leaving early and he’s staying with us until the end of the week. Why don’t you show him to your room? Me and Taeyong agreed that he’ll be staying in your room until further notice.”
Donghyuck continued mixing, ignoring what was said. “He’s staying on that couch. If he comes near me and my room, he’ll end up in the hospital this time.”
“Me? Oh it’s gonna be you who will be in the hospital,” Mark said, amused. “I have a black belt you know.”
Donghyuck snorted. “Yeah so I do in case you forgot.”
Mark winced because it was true. Donghyuck was far too gifted in many things. Doyoung ignored them as he walked out the door. “I’m meeting Taeyong for dinner so try not to smash anything here and if you guys need condoms, check Taeyong’s room.” With that, Doyoung left.
Mark sighed because he really doesn’t think he is up for a round of sex with Donghyuck tonight. Or for a long time until they fix whatever the fuck is wrong with them. Sex with Donghyuck is great, because they feel through that soulmate touch which makes everything about a hundred times harder. He walked up the stairs and Donghyuck groaned, silently cursing to himself before following Mark.
“No, you can’t stay in my room,” he said again, getting angry. “If you place any of your things here, I'm tossing it all in the trash.”
Mark rolled his eyes at him before taking off his shirt and laying on the bed. Donghyuck gasped at him, in disbelief.
“What the fuck are you doing? Get out of my room.”
Mark sighed. “It’s clearly 9pm. I want to rest and if you keep fussing around, I'm gonna tell the soon to be married couple you’re causing a fit, like you always do when I’m around.”
Donghyuck glared at him. “You do know there’s a guest room, right? You can’t be in your right mind to even think about doing whatever you want in my room. By the time I’m done making my food, I expect you to be out of my room.”
Mark just shrugged. “Whether we are soulmates or not, I’m trying to be mature about this.”
Donghyuck snorted. “No, you’re just trying make me mad.” He didn’t say anything else as he stalked back the stairs, clearly pissed. When Mark was done putting away his stuff, he decided to fall asleep because he knew that Donghyuck probably won’t ever use violence to get what he wants, he’s all talk but no bite. That’s what he’s learned from his years of knowing him.
When he woke up, he noticed that he was still on Donghyuck’s bed and Donghyuck was nowhere to be found. He sighed and picked up his shirt and headed downstairs. He found Donghyuck asleep covered in blankets with the TV still on. He checked the clock and it was 1am. He didn’t know whether to wake him up or ignore him.
Mark grabbed the remote from Donghyuck’s hand and turned the TV off. That movement made Donghyuck stir before he quickly shifted to his side. When Mark reached to touch his shoulder, he felt tingles all over his body and Donghyuck instantly opened his eyes, looking up at him. Of course them touching would wake him up. He was still slightly sleepy but when he realized it was him, he sat up.
“What are you doing?”
“Did that touch make you wake up?”
Donghyuck backed away and sat on the corner of the couch. “What do you want?”
Mark sighed, thinking for a long time. He knows that Donghyuck will hate him for it, but with everything so hazy, confusing, and messy, he knows that he should at least talk to his soulmate. Or whatever the fuck they are. He needs answers and the best thing for him to do is face him and talk it out. He reached out and grabbed Donghyuck’s hands, the tingly feeling burning with want. It was better to touch your soulmate than not to, especially when you feel emotions that you want to convey. He hopes that Donghyuck can feel what he feels.
“You’re the person I… dislike the most in the world,” he said, not wanting to use the word hate, “and to be truly honest, all I ever wanted to do was ignore you for the rest of my life but I can’t do that, not after this. If I can’t ignore you, then the best thing I need to do is face you. So we need to talk.”
Donghyuck tried pulling away his hand but Mark wouldn’t let go. Donghyuck frowned at him. “Dude, it took you so many years to finally figure that out?”
Mark just nodded. “I was planning on just ignoring you until I leave for LA but here we are.”
Donghyuck didn’t say anything so Mark continued. “Why didn’t you ever tell me Donghyuck? You knew before anyone else and you let me make a fool of myself while I tried finding my soulmate. I even have a song about soulmates because I was jealous of everyone having one but I didn’t. You watched and you laughed at me, knowing that it was you all along. You probably loved seeing me miserable all these years but what I don’t get is why did you hide it? I know you don’t like me, but you really have to be that cruel?”
Donghyuck arched his brows slightly, already pissed, at the same time incredulous. “Oh my god, this fucking scumbag thinks that the world revolves around him and his terminology of being mentally envious of people who belong together yet blames someone they hate for not showing their ass to him when he was 6 like they’re fucking gonna get shipped to the sun and fall in love. You’re ridiculous.”
Mark blinks. “Dude, what the fuck?”
Donghyuck abruptly stood up and Mark let his hands slide out from his grip. Donghyuck looked at his watch before pushing him towards the door, hinting that he wants him gone.
“You’re so fucking annoying Mark. If Doyoung is making you stay here and you’re just following his rules, I need you to leave. You’re making me pissed.”
Mark immediately grabbed his wrist only for it to slide out his grip again.
“Don’t fucking touch me.”
“Then tell me why you are mad.”
Donghyuck shook his head. “Leave before I punch you in the face. Go back to LA and leave me alone. You can’t possibly think you’re gonna get answers by being an asshole.”
Mark didn’t understand what was so wrong and he doesn’t know why Donghyuck is so mad. If there is anyone in the world he doesn’t get, it’s Donghyuck. It’s always been him.
“No. I’m not gonna leave. Punch me if you have to and send me to the hospital where the world will probably know I won’t be able to show my face for weeks but we are going to get to the bottom of this. It blows up today or it will never blow up.”
Donghyuck makes a face, his face lifted in anger but Mark sees it too. He was upset, sad, angry, and unsettled. Donghyuck takes a couple of deep breaths before looking at him. “This will get nowhere if I keep calling you a fucking dumbass but who knew that my supposed soulmate couldn’t be smart and figure it out himself? I think you need to ask yourself why.”
The headache he is getting from Donghyuck is showing so he decides to sit down and think. “Okay then. I think the reason why you never told me was because you didn’t want me to be your soulmate. You said it yourself. Maybe you think I’m incapable of being your soulmate.”
They were getting tired and Donghyuck looked like he didn’t want to talk about it. His face was always a mix of emotions but as they are looking at each other, he feels like Donghyuck just always seems upset with him and he doesn’t know why. There are times when he can see Donghyuck looking at him with hatred, annoyance, disgrace, and even contempt, but now that he looks at him more, he thinks that he’s been reading him all wrong. Maybe Donghyuck has always been upset with him, for many reasons he didn’t know.
“You’re not incapable of being my soulmate, whatever that may mean to you, but you’re incapable of loving me as who I am. You have never liked me.”
Mark just looks at him, surprised. Loving Donghyuck was a totally different aspect, something he isn’t able to do and not because he was incapable. Anyone can be capable of loving someone, if time allows that. He could love him, he could fall in love with him, if given the time but he couldn’t because he didn’t know how to. Not yet anyways.
He hadn’t expected Donghyuck to say that but it needed to be said and he needs Donghyuck to talk about what he feels. They are getting somewhere but there are just so many things that need to be said in order for them to figure out what will happen to them. If they become friends or if they will reach a point where things are okay between them.
Donghyuck’s soft personality is apparent when he isn’t around him, he’s soft and goofy with all his friends and the hyungs, he’s sweet and laughable, smiling like prettiest sunshine that radiates from the bright sun, charming his way into someone’s heart, nonstop and most of all, an addicting enigma that that is so damn beautiful that it hurts to look at him. Everyone can tell he’s fucking beautiful and he’s knows because to him, Donghyuck is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. He’s someone that Mark notices all the time, not because Donghyuck’s pretty, but he’s a fireball that won’t leave and he keeps burning him. Donghyuck is so hard not to notice and Mark may never admit it to anyone, but Mark secretly finds him attractive.
“Donghyuck, do you know how hard it is to like you, let alone love you? Maybe it was just me who didn’t know how to like you because everyone around you loves you, but to me, you were a nightmare. We weren’t even friends but you kept making me want to bust my head open each time you talked. And it’s the truth. This is the realest truth I can give you.”
Donghyuck finally sits down after standing against the wall for a long time. He sighs and looks up at the ceiling. “I didn’t know anything about soulmates when we first met so when you touched me, I didn’t know what it was but I felt it. That tattoo on your arm, I recognized that I had it as well because my mom loved taking pictures of my ass when I was a baby because it’s funny when you have a sun on your ass. I didn’t know what it meant when two people have the same mark so I didn’t say a word until I went home after meeting you, our first meeting where you called me the most irritating person in the world. She told me that you were my soulmate and she was happy for me. She told me what everything meant, our touches, our tattoos and the history of soulmates. But I was skeptical because how can you meet someone you’re supposed to eventually love and what if they never love you?”
Mark just stared at him, eyes wide. “Donghyuck-”
Donghyuck didn’t look at him. “It was never about why I never told you because it wasn’t for me to tell you, it was the fact that you looked at me like I was the last person who you’d ever be friends with. You never liked my jokes, you never wanted to play with me, you never cared about me when I fell from a tree and had to get a cast for 6 months. You never cared when I got my first kiss or my first boyfriend and you never cared about me getting accepted to MIT and not going because I was worried about my mom’s health.”
Mark didn’t know what to say because he didn’t know what he could say.
Donghyuck stood up and looked at him. “I don’t like it when you blame me for not telling you anything when for years, you knew about us. You didn’t have to see my ass to know we’re soulmates.”
Donghyuck is right. He didn’t need to see his tattoo for him to realize that they were soulmates. Anyone could tell they were soulmates the moment they walked into the room. Mark knows that there is more to talk about and decides that maybe it was time for him to run into something that burns him, but perhaps might make him feel like he doesn’t need to keep being scared.
“I guess we have always known it was us, but I refused to believe it when it was obvious.” He walks up to Donghyuck, taking his hand. He feels him and he gets it. That it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was because the hate they had for each other became their obstacle. “I do blame you for not telling me, but you’re right, you didn’t have to tell me. I knew it was you but you being my soulmate scared me and it still scares me.”
Mark didn’t know what time he woke up but the sun was coming up. Donghyuck had a room with a balcony and he had never been on there. Donghyuck was sleeping beside him, facing the other way. They didn’t have sex or anything, they just wanted to try sleeping next together without fighting, while they try to figure out themselves and what it means to be each other’s soulmate. The talk from last night was a lot, it was tense. But it was what they needed.
Mark gets up and takes his guitar that was next to Donghyuck’s closet before stepping foot outside to the balcony. He decides to play a few songs before finally starting to sing and play the song he wrote for the wedding. He closes his eyes as he plays, remembering each verse. It is still unfinished and he has a few days before the wedding, but he feels stuck.
He hears footsteps and looks to see Donghyuck looking at him, hair messy and his freckles look so clear and pretty under the sun. “What are you doing out here?” Donghyuck asks.
“Trying to gain some motivation for this song.”
Donghyuck was about to say something but decided not to. He walks back inside and Mark looks down the balcony. He thinks about him and Donghyuck, he thinks about love, he thinks about wanting to fall in love and he thinks about being happy with his soulmate. He wants all of that. He goes back into the room and gets his songbook. Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s already finished the song.
Living with Donghyuck and the soon to be married couple wasn't hard. He pretty much got used to it and he and Donghyuck are making progress and they definitely aren’t cussing or trying to make each other want to kill one another. They’re civil, but they haven’t really talked since that night. Honestly, Mark feels that he doesn’t know what more to say, he doesn’t know if they can even be normal soulmates, and he doesn’t know what to do because he’s leaving Korea soon and he wouldn’t see Donghyuck for a long time.
He and his best friends are out on a yacht boat party with drinks and lots of girls and guys who paid to be there, it's pretty much a nightclub on a boat and Mark had never been to one in his life nor has he ever really clubbed either. Supposedly the guys were having a bachelor’s event and although Mark and his friends aren’t part of the bachelor line up, they are still roped into doing whatever the hyungs were doing. Supposedly Johnny knew the friend who was hosting the yacht and everyone was able to get in for free so he had invited them all on the cruise. Mark thinks if their fans caught them there, he surely will not live it down, but Lucas and Hendery seemed like they were having the time of their life. Lucas and Xiaojun were dancing and kissing in the dance room, Hendery and the guys were drinking near the pool area and Mark was stuck listening to Yuta rant about his sex life.
There were some fans on the yacht and they asked him for an autograph and freaked out when they saw him and his band mates. Shohei was busy chatting with some fans and signing autographs. He also took pictures with them because Shohei adores his fans.
He also knew that Yangyang and his friends were on the boat as well, but they went separately and he didn’t see them until it was late in the night. The Yacht was huge and you can literally get lost. He found Donghyuck dancing with Yangyang and Renjun as he and the hyungs made it to the main dance floor. It was crowded and loud, people yelling over one another.
Couples were dancing together and his hyungs decided to go dance with their soulmates and Mark can’t do anything but watch. He also wasn’t drunk enough to get loose. Before he can comprehend what happened, Jaehyun and Jungwoo pulled him into a group dance, and then he was pushed to dance with Taeil and Johnny, before Hendery grabbed him and twisted him around.
“This is fun.” Hendery said. “I haven’t been clubbing in so long.”
Mark smiled as they danced and then Yangyang joined them, bringing Donghyuck. Donghyuck’s cheeks were red, freckles blissed, his hair was wavy, and he had eyeliner on. Yangyang also had eyeliner on, just slightly. They danced in a group for a while until there was a slow song.
“This one is for the main couple, Taeyong and Doyoung, who’s getting married in two days! And for everyone who’s in love tonight.” The DJ shouted.
Hendery pulled Yangyang into a dance and so did the couples around them. Mark sighs and his eyes gravitated towards Donghyuck, who was making his way out the dance floor. He followed him out. Donghyuck grabs a drink and looks around at him as they made it out to the yacht balcony.
“Why are you following me?”
“Because you have been quite busy ignoring me all morning and all week.”
Donghyuck stares at him, sipping his cocktail and giving it to him. Mark takes it and drinks it down. “You’ve been good at ignoring me for years, what difference does that make now you know we’re soulmates?”
Mark sighs but doesn’t say anything because Donghyuck will probably turn his words around.
“I think that there’s nothing we can do about this. About us,” Donghyuck says. “I think it’s best that we are civil but there is nothing more to us. It’s better this way.”
Another slow song was playing and the tilt of the boat made him slide towards him. Mark holds onto him by the waist and flinches as they touched. It has been awhile since they touched, even if they sleep on the same bed, Donghyuck doesn’t want them to touch no matter what. The more they touch, the more addicting it gets and Mark doesn’t want to be reminded of when he couldn’t control his body due to the sensation when they were drunk.
“Have you always been upset at me? I feel like you are.”
“I don’t know why I am upset because there isn’t a reason to.”
“Then you are upset?”
“I don’t know. I wished you could have liked me the way I liked you.”
Mark gives in and starts swaying them around and they start slowly dancing. He doesn’t know why Donghyuck said that because it always seemed like Donghyuck hated his guts when they were in the same air. “The first moment I saw you, I liked you first.”
“You only liked how I looked, you didn’t like my personality.”
Mark looks at him. They clearly aren’t drunk and he doesn’t know what it is but he feels his heart growing heavy. There are so many things he hasn’t said because he had kept it inside. There was more to him about not liking Donghyuck than he put on and god, there are so many reasons why he didn’t like him but also sometimes wished things were different. That Donghyuck didn’t have to be someone he felt like controlled his world because he did. Donghyuck was the one who took him and smeared dust on his heart. Mark stopped dancing and stepped back. Donghyuck was Donghyuck but that didn’t mean he was a bad person. He had hurt Mark in ways he didn’t want to dig back up again but here he was.
“It’s not that. I liked you when you were with other people, you were kind and nice to them, but with me, you teased me and called me names and made me feel so small. Like I wasn’t worth it and I felt disgusted. For years, you haunted me and I don’t know why you did that. When you did better than me in taekwondo, you called me unskilled, when you excelled and won scholarships, you said I wasn’t smart enough, and what hurt the most was when you told me I wasn’t talented enough to be an artist. I get that you hated me, but you made me feel inhuman. I’m a person with feelings and sometimes you never treated me like someone decent who has more to offer. Donghyuck, do you get why it was so hard to like you when you did these things? Why it was so hard for me to acknowledge that we are soulmates when my heart didn’t want to?”
Donghyuck stood there, unmoving. They both just stared at each other and then the music started being loud again. Donghyuck finally opens his mouth. “I get it. I hurt you.”
Mark doesn’t know how they will overcome it or if they ever will. “Why did you do all these things?”
Donghyuck finally looks up. “Because I didn’t like the fact that you hated me. You will go around and tell everyone I was loud and a brat with a mouth that never closes and you told me that I was the most annoying person on earth and that no one would ever like me, fall in love with me or want to be my soulmate. You told me that you thought I was irritating right after you married me and said that marrying me was a joke. All your friends laughed and agreed with you but I couldn’t say anything because it hurt when I found out that we were soulmates. You made me feel unloved and it hurt. I was just a kid and I wanted to hurt you back because it didn’t matter to me that we’re soulmates, what mattered was that you didn't think anyone could love me.”
Mark shakes his head, heart heavy. “God, we were just kids. We hurt each other in ways we shouldn’t have and it carried out until we’re adults.”
Donghyuck nods. They were silent as they listened to the music play. There wasn’t anyone around them. “Look, I know I was harsh and I shouldn’t have said some things. I never said sorry to you so I wanted to apologize.”
“I should have said sorry first. I didn’t know I hurt you that much. I was so mean to you right after we met. I'm sorry for starting all of this.”
Donghyuck looks at him and slightly nods before looking away. It’s still messy but they were getting somewhere and Mark would have never thought that they would ever be civil with each other until the day they died, but this was new.
Before he knew it, Yangyang and Hendery came by and Yangyang dragged Donghyuck away, telling him about meeting up with Jeno and Hendery dragged him to play a beer pong with the hyungs.
It was the day of the wedding and Mark was getting ready at Hendery’s place. Lucas and Shohei had also stayed the night before so they were spending time together, like they usually do. Tomorrow they had to leave for their flight in the morning and Mark feels a bit restless and conflicted. He loves his life making music and playing for fans, but he also feels guilty about leaving home all the time.
“How do you feel about leaving again?” He asked Hendery who was putting on his tux. Hendery looked at him and shook his head, pointing downstairs. Yangyang was in the kitchen making everyone breakfast.
“Fuck, you know I love our band and our fans, but we never come home and I barely get to see Yangyang. We have to come home at least twice a year because being here makes me realize how much I miss being home.”
Lucas walks in and nods, making a puppy face. “I finally get to see Xiaojun and you know how it is with his passport and all that, he can’t really travel to see me. Mark, we need to come back more and the reason why we don’t come home is because of you. Mark, we miss being home.”
Mark sighs because he is the reason why. And it’s because of Donghyuck and Mark knows it is embarrassing having to run away from someone back home, continuously. But wants it to change and he doesn’t want to run away anymore. He thanks Doyoung for pushing him to talk to Donghyuck when he himself would have never made an effort to fix what is wrong with them.
“Then let’s visit home more. We’ll come back here every holidays.”
Shohei walks in all dressed up and flops on the messy bed. “I don’t know how you guys survived without seeing your soulmates for a long time.”
Hendery nods. “I want to see Yangyang everyday. I love him and I want to move back home in a couple of years. We could sign a new label and perform in Korea more. What do you guys think?”
Mark looked at Lucas and Lucas gave him a thumbs up. He looked at Hendery and smiled. “We are on board.”
When they arrived at the wedding, they checked in and met up with the hyungs. They chatted and laughed, and they asked Mark what are the plans for their new album. Mark said that their new album won’t be released until next year because they are still writing new songs.
After awhile, he saw Donghyuck dressed up in black blazer, white bow tie, with a white flower because he was the groom’s brother. He knows that Taeyong is dressed almost identical to him. Johnny walked up to Donghyuck and his friends, greeting them.
A few minutes later, Donghyuck sat down at their table along with Yangyang, Jaemin, and Renjun.
“So Mark, how are you and Donghyuck dealing with this soulmate thing? You are leaving tomorrow morning aren’t you?” Jungwoo asked.
Mark nods and looks over at Donghyuck and Donghyuck just looked at him, before rolling his eyes. Mark looked back at Jungwoo. “We aren’t shouting at each other like we used to. We are trying to talk it out.”
Jungwoo just smiles at him. “Good to hear. Because you both are a perfect match for each other. You just need to let your heart find each other’s.”
Being soulmates with someone you don’t like is different than anything he’s ever felt, but falling in love with someone you hurt and said that he will never be loved is definitely not a healthy thing, but as Mark looks at Donghyuck, he sees something. He sees that everything he’s ever done for himself was selfish. He didn’t know how to be selfless when it came to Donghyuck because he cared about how much he was hurt yet he didn't realize that Donghyuck was hurt the most, since the beginning. Everyone deserves love, Donghyuck deserves love, deserves a soulmate who will love him endlessly. And Mark just didn’t know how to be the one for him. Because he didn’t allow himself to really see who Donghyuck really is underneath all those words tossed at him.
When it was time for the band to perform, they walked on stage and helped put everything in place. Shohei was playing the guitar, Hendery was his back-up vocals and Lucas was on piano. They decided to drop the drums all that because he wanted this to be a sentimental and peaceful song. He wanted this moment to be memorable.
As he touched the mic, he finally looked to where Donghyuck was, his soulmate. Whatever it is that Donghyuck is to him, doesn’t matter if he’s his soulmate or enemy, he just wants to finally let it all go. Because he’s finally found his soulmate in someone he wasn’t expecting, and he’s tired of having to face his hurt all these years. It still hurts him and he thinks about his childhood years, the years where felt unsure of himself, but music was the only thing that made him happy. Music was the only place where he could express himself freely, where he was sure of who he was.
He remembers Donghyuck telling him how much he hates him, how he won’t ever make it far, how he’s a terrible singer, untalented. He dislikes Donghyuck, but most of of all, he hates how Donghyuck can get under his skin so quickly, how everything he does makes him feel insecure and uncomfortable, but throughout all these years, maybe it was because he let him bring him down, he let himself get hurt.
He knows that this song wasn’t for Doyoung or Taeyong, but for himself and Donghyuck. He closes his eyes and sings.
When they’re done, Hendery grabs his shoulder as they walk down the stage as everyone cheers for them. He can see Doyoung looking like he wants to cry but there was only one person on his mind.
He turns and sees Donghyuck standing next to Yangyang. Donghyuck looks at him and doesn’t say anything, but Donghyuck knows, his eyes says it all. He blinks at Mark, cheeks strained with tears before he wipes it away. And all Mark wants to do hold his hand and begin again, start all over when they were kids and when he wasn’t mean to him, start all over to where they’re meant to find each other as soulmates, and not as enemies.
Mark looks away and follows Shohei and Lucas out to the back, where they can take a breather.
“I’m glad you decided to change up the song last minute without telling Donghyuck because he looked confused. And definitely emotional.”
Mark just smiles. The song they originally had was a heavier song with some more beats, but Mark felt that it wasn't right. He spent all of last night writing and revising that song he wrote on the balcony, about his feelings and his regrets, and about Donghyuck, his sun. “It was for him. I think maybe he’s always been someone I’m meant to write about, someone I can’t ever escape in this lifetime and the next.”
Shohei looks at him. “It’s time you start running to him and not away from him. It’s right time don’t you think?”
Mark nods. Donghyuck may be a person who he dislikes but he’s also a person who’s meant for him.
They made it back to their place after the long wedding and Donghyuck was changing in his room as Mark walked in. They’ve gotten used to seeing each other change lately but it still doesn’t mean much to them. Seeing someone else naked is the not the top of their problems at all. Doyoung and Taeyong were out at Doyoung’s parent house because they wanted to spent more time with them before their honeymoon in a few days. Mark and Donghyuck had the whole place to themselves.
“We need to talk.” And boy, there are a lot of things they have talked about, but his emotions are always just inconsistent, flaming with fire.
Donghyuck blinks at him, turning around. He watches Mark sit down on the bed. “I want to know what will happen to us after this. I can’t fly back to LA feeling like this.”
Donghyuck purses his lips, pushing his sweaty hair back. “I know that song was for me.”
“You know?”
Donghyuck closes his eyes and leans against closet once he’s all changed. “If we never slept together and that you never saw my ass, would things have changed? Would you have changed anything? After all these years?”
“Why does it have to be me? Why didn’t you want anything to change between us? You kept things away from me.”
“There you go again. Blaming me again.”
Mark takes a deep breath. He doesn’t know why he’s getting angry. “I’m sorry. It’s confusing. We knew we belonged together, but none of us wanted to acknowledge what we were. Why couldn’t you just tell me you were hurt instead of making me feel miserable all the time?”
“What? My ego is too big for that.”
Mark stares at him. “You never tell me anything, not about you feel and the only thing you knew how to do is fight back, be mean until you feel better about yourself.”
“I wanted you to know how it felt!” Donghyuck yells. “It’s fucked up I know, but at some point, as we grew older, I think I did it for attention. I wanted you notice me and I wanted you like me regardless if I was mean. I wanted you to notice me.”
“That literally really makes zero sense.”
“I think all of it made me realize that you would never care about me. I noticed you Mark, all the time, you were talented, you sang during club meetings, girls had crushes on you, you were popular, but each time I came around, you think a devil was going to eat you alive. I liked you during high school, I probably liked you so much, just like everyone else because you were everyone’s crush but you wouldn’t bat an eyelash at me. You looked other people, you wanted to find your soulmate, everywhere you went, you keep looking, asking, but never wanted to acknowledge it was me. You never looked at me and it made me upset. I got over that crush on you because you were the one who told me that nobody’s ever going to like me. I want someone who will like me and you won’t ever like me for me. I knew that the moment we met.”
Mark shakes his head, thoughts running through his head but he couldn’t vocalize them. He decides to say how he really feels. “How do I overlook that? You made me miserable Hyuck and I don’t care if you wanted attention or not, but you weren’t that nice or friendly to me. I may have said you were annoying as a kid because you were and every single day I was around you, you will always make some snarky comment about me. But I did notice you too, regardless of all that. I noticed when you got together with Sungchan, I noticed when you got hurt when you fell, I noticed how damn smart you are because in high school, you were the top student there even if you called me stupid. I can’t admit I never hated you, but I’ll admit that you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I never had a crush on you, but I noticed you even when I didn’t want to.”
“Stop fucking lying. You think lying will make things better?”
“Then what do you want me to say?”
Donghyuck stares at him. “Just say you hate me and go. All of this you’re trying to fix, it will get nowhere.”
“It will get nowhere if you don’t try with me.”
Donghyuck frowns at him, like he doesn’t understand. “That’s what I don’t get. Why do you want this to work out? We spent our lives hating each other, hurting each other, and now suddenly you find out I’m your soulmate and you want this to work out? Well sad for you, I don’t think this will end how you think.”
Mark stands up, crowding closer to him. “I know the reason why you never told me you had the tattoo was because I hurt you, that I never looked at you, that I didn’t want to acknowledge it was you all along. But you can’t blame me for it because you were a nightmare to me. It scared me shitless thinking it could be you so I kept dodging you, running away, pretending that our touches didn’t exist. I didn’t want it to be you but it can’t be helped that we are soulmates. It’s incredibly odd that we belong together when all of our lives we fought, argued, and yelled. Us being soulmates, it’s something I don’t think we can ignore, not in this lifetime. But Hyuck, I do want to learn how to be your soulmate.”
Donghyuck looks away. “You’re already my soulmate since the minute I was born, but even if you’re my soulmate, I don’t think you can love me that way. The way I deserve to be loved.”
“Look, I’m sorry. I think that if there’s anyone who’s going to love you, I think it would be me but I don’t know to love you. All I know is anger and frustration when it comes to you. We need to start all over. I want us to try again and be okay.”
“It’s not that. Doesn’t matter if we start being friends or become lovers, the main factor that is keeping us away from each other is the fact we can’t stand each other, we can’t communicate our feelings and we keep hurting one another.”
Mark finally pulls him into a hug and the sensation of hugging your soulmate overwhelms him but he’s always disliked touching Donghyuck because it feels good and scary. Maybe it’s time he gets used to it. “It’s unreal to me. I think the hardest part for me is that it’s you, but we agreed that we hurt each other badly. We need to overcome this because if we don’t, then we’ll never grow out of this phase. I want to move on into the next phase of this, to being friends.”
Donghyuck doesn’t pull away. “We’re not meant to be friends.”
“Then what do you want?”
Donghyuck pushes him away and sits on the bed. “I’m not sure but what I want is for us to learn to like each other, for us to appreciate each other, for us to forgive each other. Whatever happens after happens.”
Mark joins him on the bed. “That sounds good actually. I’m leaving tomorrow morning, but give me your number. I think we should try talking at least twice a week and if we end up fighting, we hang up and try again. We try again until we get better at this.”
Donghyuck finally smiles at him, his freckles shining on his face. “Okay. For the record, I’m a very chatty person.”
Mark smiles too because through all these years, he can finally admit he’s happy that he’s not running away anymore, that he finally can come home to someone, to someone he knows won’t burn him down anymore. They were going to be okay, they were going to try and it’s all that matters. “Then we have a lot more talking to do then.”
It was going to take awhile but maybe it’s always meant to be like this.
6 months later
“So like you and Donghyuck aren’t dating yet, but you’re fucking each other?” Taeyong asked, flabbergasted as he walked in carrying groceries.
Mark nods as he looks over at his soulmate, whose brown hair messy from the intense make out. Donghyuck just rolls his eyes at his brother.
“Taeyong, aren’t you supposed to be out with Doyoung?”
Taeyong stares at them. “You definitely are two pairs of soulmates I’ve never seen before.”
He puts away his groceries and looks back at them. “But as long as you’re both happy, I’m happy.”
They watched Taeyong head into his room.
“So I think we should finally go a date don’t you think?”
Donghyuck just shrugs. “You’re paying though. Since you’re the one pursuing me.”
Mark rolls his eyes. “Definitely the reason why anyone can’t fall in love with you. You’re a brat.”
Donghyuck flips him off as he puts on his shoes. “Your soulmate is a brat. Deal with it.”