Chapter Text
He got really into it over the summer – the game. It’s his last summer before university, so Childe thought, heck, might as well slack off while he can.
Childe isn’t usually into MMOs – he’s more into games where he can beat the shit out of people – but this one is surprisingly good. The fast hack-n-slash gameplay is totally his style, and the PVP is ludicrously addicting.
Plus… there’s this guy.
Scarahime1031.
They keep running into each other in the queue.
There’s only a small pool of players at the top of the elo, so it’s normal to play the same people over and over. But sometimes the game will pair him against Scarahime1031 dozens of matches in a row.
Scarahime1031 is an aeromancer, a mage class. Their character is a cute girl with dark hair, cat ears, and white paw mittens. They’re rank sixth in solo queue – Childe is eleventh. He’s pretty proud of it.
Their matches are intense. Childe plays duelist, an assassin-type class that can switch between dual daggers and a bow. He’s literally the aeromancer hard counter, and yet his win rate against Scarahime1031 is 40% at best. Their matches go into quadruple tie-breaks and often end up stacked with so many overtime debuffs that the next auto attack is an insta-kill. It’s actually pretty entertaining, seeing a feeble arrow doing 99999999 damage on his screen.
They play so many matches together that they start to chat. Sometimes they just sit in the arena and talk, not even noticing that the match has begun and the timer is ticking down.
Scarahime1031 seems nice at first. They’re polite, they sends emojis, and they say “gg” after close matches.
But once they actually start to talk, Childe realizes Scarahime1031 is anything but nice.
| [23:40] | Scarahime1031: fk its u again |
| [23:40] | Scarahime1031 stomps on the ground. |
| [23:40] | Monocaeli_: lol |
That’s how they start greeting each other.
| [23:41] | Scarahime1031: don’t u ever get tired of losing |
| [23:41] | Monocaeli_: lolol wdym I won last round |
| [23:41] | Scarahime1031: only cuz we hit overtime and ur fking riptide dot randomly triggered |
| [23:41] | Scarahime1031: complete bs |
| [23:41] | Scarahime1031: noob |
| [23:41] | Scarahime1031 rolls his eyes in exasperation. |
| [23:41] | Monocaeli_: lmao |
Childe thinks it’s kinda cute – the constant flaming, the bratty tantrums. Maybe it’s cause they still surprise Childe with random nice comments sometimes. Scarahime1031 might be toxic, but they give credit where it’s due.
| [1:28] | Scarahime1031: holy sht that was cool, how’d you even get out of that? |
| [1:28] | Monocaeli_: animation cancelled my dash -> q dash -> e stun |
| [1:28] | Scarahime1031: that was sexy, im so wet |
| [1:28] | Scarahime1031 expresses his undying love. |
| [1:28] | Monocaeli_: lmao |
| [1:28] | Monocaeli_ blows a kiss. |
… Or maybe it’s cause sometimes, they’ll roleplay their cute female character and say things that make Childe blink dumbly at his screen.
| [22:02] | Monocaeli_: are u a girl? |
After their six-hundredth or so match against each other, Childe finally asks. They’re pretty buddy-buddy by now, he thinks. He’s joined their guild, and they’ve done a few raids together.
Plus, Scarahime1031 has been roleplaying more often lately. They do a cute dance and type adorable things in chat, only to spew out lewd obscenities the next time Childe lands an attack. It’s getting to the point where sometimes Childe will go to bed with their imaginary voice echoing in his head, moaning like a porn actor.
| [22:04] | Scarahime1031: why, would u date me if I am? |
| [22:04] | Monocaeli_: no |
| [22:04] | Monocaeli_: i mean, it wouldn’t matter to me, not that I wouldn’t date u |
Childe types so quickly that he doesn’t even have time to think. Flustered, he covers his face and peeks at his screen between his fingers.
Scarahime doesn’t reply for a while.
Fuck, it’s just a game. He’s never going to meet this person. As far as he knows, they’re probably a perverted middle-aged man with a cat girl fetish. Why is his face red and his heart pounding?
| [22:08] | Scarahime1031: I sent u a dm |
| [22:08] | Monocaeli_: uh |
| [22:08] | Monocaeli_: ok |
His phone gets a ping. Childe checks and sees a private message from Scarahime. It’s a picture, and it takes a second to load – but then he sees it.
It’s a pair of dainty thighs, belonging to someone who’s clearly not wearing pants. Their perfect knees are petite and rosy and angled coyly together, and their skin is soft and beautiful and white.
Childe feels a strange pang in his groin. He slams his phone face-down on the table and puts his face in his hands, not sure if he should laugh or groan.
He does a bit of both.
| [22:10] | Monocaeli_: dude I can’t tell from that |
| [22:10] | Scarahime1031: what, u want me to send u a pic of my d*** instead? |
Childe’s fingers freeze above his keyboard. He stares at Scarahime’s reply for a moment, then grabs his phone and looks at the picture again.
Scarahime has beautiful thighs.
| [22:11] | Scarahime1031: im a guy |
| [22:11] | Monocaeli_: … |
| [22:11] | Scarahime1031: did u like the pic? lololol |
| [22:11] | Monocaeli_: u |
| [22:11] | Scarahime1031 does the Meow-Meow dance, nya~ |
| [22:11] | Monocaeli_: u have |
Childe stops himself there. He grabs his hair and laughs and then groans and then laughs again.
| [22:12] | Monocaeli_: … |
| [22:12] | Monocaeli_: bro |
| [22:12] | Monocaeli_: lets just fight |
Childe shakes himself and grabs his mouse, but as he crosses the arena, Scarahime types more in chat.
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031: i wanna vc |
| [22:15] | Monocaeli_: ? |
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031: voice chat |
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031 blows a kiss. |
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031: Scarahime1031: let me hear ur sexy voice monocaeli sama <3 |
“Uh…”
Childe hesitates out loud. Something tells him he’s going to be traumatized if he does this.
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031: jk let me flame u vocally after I beat ur ass for the 657th time |
Childe hits Scarahime’s character with an auto-attack.
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031: RUDE |
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031 stomps on the ground. |
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031: cmon |
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031 sticks out his tongue! Bleh~ |
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031 sticks out his tongue! Bleh~ |
| [22:15] | Scarahime1031: u scared ill judge ur old man voice? |
| [22:16] | Monocaeli_: bro im 21 |
| [22:16] | Scarahime1031 sticks out his tongue! Bleh~ |
| [22:16] | Scarahime1031: its ok u don’t have to be ashamed |
| [22:16] | Scarahime1031: there’s old mans in the guild and im still nice to them |
| [22:16] | Scarahime1031: not as nice as i am to u tho <3 |
| [22:16] | Monocaeli_: fk u |
Childe opens up his desktop app and turns on his microphone.
| [22:17] | Monocaeli_: im in general |
It takes a few minutes. He alt-tabs back to the game and attacks the air around Scarahime’s character, trying to distract himself from his pounding heart. He swears it’s beating as fast as his mouse clicks.
This is so stupid. It’s not like he’s never had online friends or guildies before. He doesn’t understand why this one guy makes him so giddy.
He hears the sound effect of someone joining the voice channel. His heart flutters. It’s silent.
Then, he hears a soft, delighted laugh.
The lovely sound sends thrills coursing through his body.
Scarahime sounds like an angel.
“Hey, old man. Say something. Don’t leave me dry here.”
He sure doesn’t talk like one, though.
Childe sighs. He shifts his mic a little closer and mutters grudgingly.
“… Hey.”
“Oh…!” Scarahime gasps in mock awe. “You sound like a hottie! My panties are wet, Monocaeli-sama.”
Childe grimaces. He’s been chatting with this guy long enough to develop a bit of resistance to his strange way of speaking. Besides… it’s not like dirty talk is uncommon in the world of gamers.
“Just call me Childe.”
Scarahime laughs. When he speaks again, his voice is soft.
“Alright, Childe.”
Childe closes his eyes. He tries to tell himself that his fingers aren’t trembling because of how amazing he finds this guy’s voice.
“Uh… what do you want me to call you? Scarahime?”
“Scarahime, Scaramouche, Scara, babygirl, whatever you want.”
Childe chuckles despite himself. “Scaramouche is your real name, then?”
“Something like that. Anyway, five seconds on the timer. Three-two-one-go!”
Childe’s cursor spasms across the screen in alarm, but he’s way too late. In two and a half seconds, Scaramouche combos him one hundred to zero.
“Hey! What the fuck!”
He yelps indignantly as the defeat screen plays, showcasing Scaramouche’s character doing a kitty dance over his collapsed model. Scaramouche’s delighted laughter fills his ears.
Childe spams the rematch button.
“What, can’t beat me fairly today?”
Scaramouche’s laughter abruptly stops. He accepts Childe’s rematch request with a dark growl.
“Fucking trash. I’m gonna floor you a dozen more times before I lose a single hp.”