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“Kusanali.” His breathy voice felt like a harsh wind grazing the back of Nahida’s neck, though it was on the edge of a whisper, his words were stern and cold — it pricked at her skin like a chilling draft, and that alone was enough to send goosebumps down and across her whole body.
She swallowed, making no effort in turning to look at him, to look him in the eyes.
“Yes, I’m here.” She states as if she had to reaffirm him. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Her words weren’t intentional. They had just come out like an instinctive reflex, or her consciousness determined this as an automatic response to when he’d do something like this.
Call it muscle memory if you will. Back then, when he was still Scaramouche — when he was still the Balladeer, during his time of recovery, she’d rarely ever leave his side. Even when the majority of it was only Nahida alone with the cold, comatose body of the puppet, when people had come to help her, try to offer her a break, she rejected them all.
Nahida wanted to be alone with him.
It’s not that she didn’t trust someone else to take care of him, it’s that they simply wouldn’t know how.
Once his eyes had opened, the likelihood of seeing Nahida outside of the sanctuary at all was impossible.
If she was out of his range of sight, he needed constant reassurances she was nearby. If she dared to go out of the room, even to get him something that he needed, he’d go as far as to grab her wrist, his own hands shaking, refusing to let her leave his side, like he couldn’t even bear the thought of her not breathing the same air as him.
“I’m here.” She’d tell him. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.”
“Look at me, Kusanali.” He hissed in her ear, his hot breath making her whole body feel so cold and when he pressed his lips against the crook of her neck, nuzzling himself into to take in as much as her scent, as much as her skin, as much as her as he physically could her stomach fluttered as delicately as the wings of a newborn butterfly. “I want you to look at me.”
This is the part where Nahida should put her foot down. This is the part where she should remind him of the concept of personal space and why non-consensual touching is bad, why he shouldn’t be forcing himself against her like this, especially when it feels like he’s trying to crawl inside her skin. Not scold him, she could never, not ever — but softly, gently correct him, tell him why what he’s doing is wrong, tenderly explain it to him and make sure he knows she isn’t mad or even disappointed in him because Nahida’s heart would shatter if he ever thought that.
But she doesn’t. The only thing Nahida does is what she’s told, she turns herself around and he abruptly wraps his arm around her waist, he lifts her up and shoves her into himself like she’s wasting time and he’s trying to snatch her up as quickly as possible.
Nahida makes a noise of discomfort. Their height difference wasn’t something that could be overlooked, and the position of being held up by him to let his face reach her neck, her feet not even being close to the ground anymore, while he’s squeezing and holding onto her so tight and so close like he’s trying to kill her wasn’t the most practical or comfortable situation to be in.
“ Uh, Kuni,” Kuni. Barely a name at all, just a portion of a title he long abandoned. Call me whatever you like, he once said, but he hasn’t allowed a soul to call him Kuni besides Nahida. Not unless they wanted to die. “If you need something— you need something from me, then remember to use your words— nngh.”
He wasted no time to lick up the little goddesses neck, not afraid to bite down harshly and drink in her pained yelps and whimpers as he dragged his teeth across her collarbone, all the way to her bottom lip before diving into her and forcing his tongue inside her warm mouth.
Nahida could barely breathe. Or at least in the fleeting moments of air, when he’d pull off of her by inches away just to crash right back into her, she was practically breathing his air, or they might as well be sharing the same oxygen. In a panic, her hands struggled and gripped tightly onto his shoulders, bunching up his kimono. The material was light and already a bit loose, it had begun to slip off his shoulders with her fidgeting grip, her tiny hands unable to use much for leverage.
“You really thought you could get rid of me that easily, huh?” He mercifully pulls away from the insides of her mouth just to latch back onto her neck, or her collarbone or chest, anywhere he could get his mouth onto to nip and bite and lick, to satisfy his furious hunger. “You thought I wouldn’t notice? That I would just sit back and watch?”
Nahida furrows her brows, pausing her struggles to make sure she heard him right.
“I.. what?” She retaliates with genuine confusion.
“I’m not an idiot, Kusanali. Don’t try to act dumb.” He growled against her throat, grip tightening on her as he pushed her against the nearest flat wall — there was no escaping from him anymore. He’d prefer to be on top of her with her body laid out on a bed or even the grass, to have her small elvish figure presented to him, pliant and innocent, like pinning down a butterfly by its fragile little wings. “Now that I’ve finished my tasks, all those meaningless chores you assigned me to do, you don’t have any reason to keep me around anymore. I served my purpose, and instead of throwing me away, casting me to the side like a broken, unwanted toy—“
Her dollish legs were spread to hug his sides, leaving her most precious area easily accessible to him with no way to protect it. He presses himself against her and his cold, dead chest is engulfed in her warmth. Her heart beats against the utter emptiness of his chest and he can feel every throb and in this moment it’s like her heart is inside of him as well, he could feel it pacing, drumming inside him as if they were sharing it together and her heart is his his his —
”You’re taunting me. Avoiding me, pretending like I’m not even there—“
“Impossible.” Nahida firmly blurts out. Words couldn’t begin to describe how appalled she was with what he was trying to say. “That’s just impossible. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Have I not been good to you, Kuni?” Her lips trembled, and it was taking effort to keep a composed, collected demeanor. “I thought I did all I could to show you— to show you that..”
Her glossy, moon-wide eyes threatened to spill tears. She wanted to keep patient and calm in the face of his almost childish rage, it’s not like it’s the first time she’s dealt with this, but what he says — it’s forming cracks in the shield she’s putting up, and Nahida feels like she’s on the verge of just crumbling into dust all together.
The former Balladeer hopes she does. He hopes she does break down and bawl her little eyes out, that his words make her feel like her heart is getting stabbed over and over again. Truthfully, there is a part of him somewhere, in the very back of his head, that knows he's being irrational. There’s no guilt to be found there, instead, something more akin to euphoria that she's practically breaking in his arms, that her whole world at the moment was him and only him. There’s a specific kind of rush of bliss he gets when he knows he’s got her wrapped around his finger like that, a kind that he could never get enough of, to have her going all crazy over him — it’s only fair, afterall. When she does things to him he can’t even comprehend.
He has no heart. He’s thrown away all feelings that only serve as obstacles in his path. So when he looks at her and feels those flurry of emotions he can’t even explain, and just wants to keep her locked up in a cage forever, to snap off her little dove wings and tear out her eyes so she could never even look at anyone else, to simply be hugged by her and touch her soft skin, burn the very image of her into the retina of his eyes, and just lay his head on her lap while she strokes his hair and hums sweet little foreign lullabies, he doesn’t know where those enraging feelings come from.
“You’re gonna make it up to me, won’t you?” He innocently cooed in a singsong tone into her ear, Nahida responded by squeezing her eyes shut and turning her head. “Won’t you, Lord Kusanali?”
He was only teasing her, but Nahida wouldn’t deny him such a thing. If he needed to take his anger out on something, she believed that was her responsibility to deal with. And if that meant being his object of choice to release all his pent up emotions on, especially if apparently she is the cause of it, then it’s only fair.
He never asked for this, after all.
“If it’ll make you forgive me.” Nahida swallows the lump in her throat, her voice on the very edge of a whisper. “I could.. I could do that. I could make it up to you, Kuni, please, i’m sorry—”
“You will.” He hisses and presses himself further against her, allowing the tent in his pants to rub against the fabric of her bloomers and letting it come to Nahida’s attention.
She isn’t sure why she even considered that they’d be doing anything else. It’s not the first time and absolutely not the last. Nahida learned about reproduction a lot during her time in solitude, as the circle of life and death always needs a beginning, after all.
It’s too embarrassing to admit how many times she’s witnessed the.. act of reproduction. Humans, of course. The animals were just as interesting and all, though their means of production vary too much, and really, it was simply different with humans. The intimate, fiery passion two souls would hold when coming together to touch skin, sometimes they’d even mimic the way wild, feral animals would intercourse. Nahida quickly came to learn it wasn’t just about making babies, but the act in itself was a whole new thing, a whole new set of emotions all together, an expression of love and desire.
She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t intrigued by it. But to think — that she’d be doing it with the Balladeer of all people.
He takes things by force. If he wants it, he demands it, and he gets it.
That’s why he wastes no time tearing her bloomers off, hastily pulling at them until they flimsily slid down her legs and onto the floor. Sometimes he murmurs about how better off she’d be without those things, he says it makes her look like a prude, but this time he only sinks his teeth into her collarbone —
Nahida bites her lip barely enough to contain a shrill of pain, squirming against his mouth and weight, but she doesn’t struggle to get out of his grasp or scream, she doesn’t even try to negotiate with him. She accepts it. Almost welcomes it, even.
Light purple, blue and red bruises were painted along her neck and chest, marks left by the puppet to show he was there, that she belonged to him, a reminder to her and everyone that would see her. If it was up to him, no one else would even be laying eyes on her. Those sages from the Akademiya — Idiots. Idiots, idiots, idiots fucking morons, all of them. If he had the chance to confine the little bird to a cage and have her all to himself, he surely wouldn’t have fucked up as badly as they did.
Nahida’s ears perk up at the sound of fabric being fondled as he struggled to pull down his pants to free his throbbing erection. He had his fun earlier, she supposed, now he couldn’t last another minute without being inside her, with how frantically he’s getting himself out while still trying to eat her up as much as he possibly could, no second of their flesh against flesh left wasted.
Nahida ignores the fact she's dripping. She had only realized when his hard cock sprung out and not a second more was it visible until it disappeared inside her as he forced himself straight into her cunt, and when his cock so easily slipped into her hole she knew it wasn’t just because at this point her little body had taken him so many times she’s grown perfectly accustomed to his size, but that she was a slick, dripping wet mess too. She knows that now, but she decides to ignore it.
It doesn’t make it any less painful for her though.
Her hand slapped onto her mouth to avoid a loud scream that would definitely alert anyone nearby. The very last thing she wants right now is for a clueless individual to walk in and witness their beloved goddess getting defiled, the pure shame of it all would torment Nahida for the rest of eternity.
He’s sick of her trying to hide her noises.
He wants his little songbird to sing. If he wanted her mouth shut he would have done it himself already.
“Are you scared of getting caught, or scared of getting caught with me?” He questions, grabbing her wrists and pinning them against the wall, leaving her completely at his mercy. “Are you embarrassed to be seen with me, Kusanali?”
Her response was choked back when his hips thrusted forward, his angry cock throbbing against her slick, tight walls and hitting against her over and over nearly knocking the wind out of her at first. The pain still overwhelmed any pleasure she could get out of it, her pussy being forced to stretch and take his size all too quickly and being so mercilessly pounded against the wall could barely let the little goddess think.
“N-No!” It came out as a pathetic whimper that trailed off into a loud mewl, making the puppet on top of her snicker.
“You’re ashamed of me.” He hissed, the pace of his thrusting matching the anger in his voice. “Admit it, Lord Kusanali. You wish you would have let me die there instead—“
“No!” Nahida shouted. Nahida never raises her voice, but she shouted.
In the midst of how violently he was fucking into her and hitting that deep spot inside her that made her whole body tremble and tighten around him, the disgusting sounds of wetness and skin slapping against skin, the horrible things he was saying to her that only made her heart sink into her stomach — all of it was overwhelming her brain, building up a fuse inside her that couldn’t possibly be still any longer until it made her snap.
“No! no, no! ” She sobbed, tears streaming down her glossy eyes. “Oh, Kuni, I love you. I love you so much. I don’t— I don’t know what I’d do without you. I need.. I—“ Nahida pants, his pace getting more and more intense as she went on like her words were making him go crazy. “I need you. I need you, Kuni. I never wanted to hurt you. I want you by my side forever— AH!”
Nahida screamed as she released herself from what was building up inside her like a firework. He pushed himself one last time, as deep as he could possibly get, and came straight inside her little womb, filling her all up until it was leaking out of her mess of a cunt.
He growled, akin to a feral animal before picking up his pace again right away. His hands moved down to support her bottom, hoisting her up as he drilled himself deep inside her still dripping of cum and slick pussy. Something took over him, the need to stay inside her lovely warmth and never let go. He doesn’t want to let go. There isn’t one sensation better in this universe than inside of Nahida, to hold her like this and be so close to her like they might as well fade into each other. Every snap of his hips a visible bulge forms on her stomach, neither one of them aware of how deep he is inside of her.
He’s panting aggressively, his ears are ringing and he can’t even register Nahida’s cries and whines of both pleasure and pain, the only thing on his mind being the viscous, carnal desire to fuck into her and breed her cunt until he’s completely milked dry. He wishes he could impregnate her. From both sides it’s impossible, but that wouldn’t stop him from fucking her like they’re trying to repopulate all of Tevyat.
“Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou—“ Nahida blurts out like a broken record, like she can’t control her own mouth and it’s just pouring out without a thought in her mind. “I love you, Kuni. Oh I love you so much.”
Her walls fluttered around his cock when she felt it throb and come inside her once again, leaking onto the floor beneath them. He parted out from her as his body pushed itself against her, Nahidas back flat against the wall again as his arms traveled to wrap themselves around her back.
They were both panting, exhausted. For a moment she was worried he wasn’t satisfied still, as he was still locking her in position, until she felt his hands and entire body shake and tremble against her. Any drowsiness she had was completely shaken off, now heightened with concern of the puppet’s wellbeing.
“Kuni..” She muttered softly, getting a sniffle in response.
“You’re mine, Kusanali.” He said, anger laced in his voice despite his trembling figure. He squeezes her, nuzzling into her neck. “Mine.”