Work Text:
My Small Package was Dynamite
For the first time in a long time Thor spent Sunday alone. And in equal veer to routine he spent it thinking deeply. He thought about his wife. He thought about what she said... He thought about their soon-to-be child. He thought about his son, or daughter... He thought about Loki. He thought about Loki’s sweet green eyes. He thought about Jane’s equally as sweet toffee brown eyes. He thought about the very real possibility of losing one of them. He thought about looking into those eyes as he shared his decision. He thought about the very ridiculous thought of keeping them both. He thought about how much he deserved to lose both.
He deserved to. Jane deserved better and so did Loki, even if he didn’t believe it. But the thought of letting either go made his shoulders tense. Jane had always been a big girl but he liked being there for her, he liked to know she was safe and happy. Ironically a lot of the time it was when they were apart, but whenever she returned they made up and easily let go. They weren’t perfect, they both knew it, but they did keep trying, and that meant something. Tony hadn’t been blowing smoke after all.
And Loki... Thor dreaded letting him go, and he realised it was due to his lack of knowledge of how Loki would do without him. It wasn’t out of arrogance, but Loki was a sugar baby—would he take the next scumbag that came by just to afford groceries? The thought upset Thor. He barely knew anything about Loki, the real Loki. Not that he hadn’t tried to many times, but he had just been too quick to let Loki change the subject. Just like he had been too quick to let Jane leave without going the extra mile to stop her. He was a very selfish man, and he didn’t deserve to keep his wife and his lover. But being selfish, he couldn’t find it in himself to make a choice.
First thing Monday morning there was someone pressing the buzzer to his gate. Thor checked the security monitors first before opening the gate, and idled grumpily to the front door to greet his very unexpected and highly unwelcomed guest.
It was Alexander Pierce of Hydra and Co.
Thor had just managed to dress himself that morning without falling back into the same trance he was in all Sunday, his thoughts running amok. Pierce looked like he always did, suited and ready for business—Thor wondered if he were born in that outfit.
“Thor, good morning.” He called.
“Mr. Pierce, morning.” Thor said, standing in the archway to his home as Pierce got out of his car.
“I finally figured out how to convince you. I thought I’d drop by first thing in the morning.”
“We couldn’t do this first thing at the office?”
“Now Thor, your father understood the pleasantries of business.”
“Of course, my apologies. Would you like to come in?”
“That would be most welcomed. It is already quite hot today.”
Thor moved aside, allowing the older man in. He lead him to the kitchen where he poured Pierce a glass of water, and slid it toward him across the counter, the very same on he had fucked Loki on, and if memory serves Jane too in their first few years of marriage. His only consolation was that he had never fucked anyone else on it, Loki was the least guilty offense, and he knew that didn’t make sense.
“A beautiful home.” Pierce commented, dawdling with his glass in favour of eyeing out the house like a hawk.
Thor cleared his throat. “Thank you—”
“Home alone?”
“…Yes, Jane left on Saturday for a college conference two states over.”
Pierce smirked. “Well, must be exciting to have the house all yours to do with what you wish...”
In that moment that atmosphere shifted—into what Thor couldn’t tell straight away, but there was an infuriating smirk on Pierce’s face that made the hair over his body stand.
“Congratulations on the baby.” Pierce said softly, taking a calculated sip of his water as he watched over the rim.
Thor started and blinked, trying to see his angle before he could use it against him. “…How do you know—”
“Oh, I know. Quite a good looking little thing he is too.”
Thor’s entire body flushed ice cold as things fell into place like a game of Tetris. “...Excuse me?”
Pierce put the glass down and walked around the counter toward the lounge entrance, his calm demeanour making Thor panic more as the possibilities raced through his mind. “Thor the key to success in our industry is to be resourceful. Your father was resourceful. Even Tony Stark is resourceful. But it appears he let personal relationships cloud his judgement. No matter, we’ve filled him and Mr. Hogan in, for your convenience.”
It was unlike Thor to be caught off guard, to be made silent, to be intimidated. He was unused to the feeling, and he hated that in that moment he was scared. Pierce knew about Loki. Pierce knew about his affair. He could use that as blackmail—would¬ use it as blackmail. It wouldn’t be the very first time he had stepped out on Jane, much to his own regret, but he had assured her the last was the last. Now he had fallen again, and he had been caught by a business rival. He told Tony? And Happy? He needed to get hold of Loki and warn him. But what if someone was watching Loki? Someone had been watching them. How much did they see? It couldn’t be much, Thor had always tried to be careful in public—
“How do you think your father would react to you ruining his name? Or your clients? How do you think they will react to the knowledge that you have been fucking an underage boy.”
There was no flash of ice through his body this time, no flaming heat either. No loss of breath, nothing of the sort to display the utter numbness that prickled throughout Thor’s being. The words seemed to echo through his head, deep and cold in Pierce’s voice. Underage boy…
It had to be a mistake.
“Mr. Odinson you have never been as sharp as your father so playing dumb really does not help you.” Pierce pulled a disappointed face, pursing his already wrinkled lips. Then realisation dawned on his face, along side an ugly sneer. “Or are you truly that blind?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Thor got out thickly, desperately wanting to kick this man out but sickeningly numb, fearful of what he might unleash, and unto whom.
“The little black-haired whore you carry about with you. Don’t think we haven’t noticed. Has your dear wife noticed?”
No, he wanted to punch him. His hands started to burn, agreeing. “…What is your point to all of this?” Thor growled, fighting to keep his face from showing any guilt.
“Simply put seeing as you have more balls than brains: you will take our deal and bring Hydra and Co. into operations. If not certain authorities are going to hear about your…extramural activities.”
“This is black mail, how dare you!”
Pierce passed on a superior look as if it wasn’t a surprise at all, and walked away toward the front door. “It’s business, son. When you get to my age maybe you’ll learn how to use your balls for gain, rather than gamble them away with prostitutes.”
“He is not a prostitute.” Thor spat, knowing he had just confirmed Loki’s existence in his life, but meaning what he said. Loki was not a whore, he was not—
“No? Have you checked? Have you done your research? Where does he live? With whom does he live?”
The mere idea that Pierce had done any kind of check on Loki made his blood boil over. “You bastard—”
“Because as far as we can tell he lives with a prostitute. Broken background, high school drop out, currently nineteen years old and oh so very smitten with you. And of course, the things you give him in exchange for sex.” Pierce was at the door now, looking down at his nose at Thor who was just too shocked to reply. Pierce gladly took advantage of it. “He’s a minor Thor, and we have some evidence to have you put away if you don’t comply.”
It took Thor an embarrassing moment of silence before he could reply to Pierce who was waiting like he was darkly amused and interested in whatever Thor could possibly say at this point. And indeed Thor’s defence was poor, he really was not sure where he stood.
“You have nothing.”
“You’ve stall for too long. My way, or the highway. Which will it be Thor?”
He could not make that deal. He would not.
Pierce didn’t bother to wait.
“Very well. You have until Wednesday until everyone knows.”
Thor stood in his living room for nearly an hour wracking his brain and calming his heart before Natasha called him. His hand shook lightly as he answered.
“Thor? I didn’t realise you would be in late, I have two walk in clients——”
“Find out who he is.” Thor interrupted, voice heavy with regret.
Natasha paused. “I’m sorry?”
“Loki. Find out everything you can on Loki.”
She paused a second time, but answered faster and more assertively. Thor didn’t lower the phone once she hung up, and instead called Tony, too numbed to fear his friend’s reaction to all this madness.
Tony didn’t take long to answer, thought it was the crunching of potato chips that greeted Thor. He walked back into the kitchen, the air stifling, throat dry. “Tony, we need to talk.” Thor said, leaning his spare palm again the counter, sighing.
“Yeah, we do. Is it true? Because I told that old grinch to shove it.”
“…You sound like you believe it.”
“Well, I still told him to shove it.”
“When did they get hold of you? I can’t believe that fucking bastard…”
“Sometime around eight. Interrupted my—”
“Tony, I didn’t know he was dating Happy when—”
“But he wasn’t dating Happy, was he? He’s a rentboy, a sugar baby. Now he’s yours. And honestly, I told Happy it’s not hard to see why. Money—I’m talking about. Looks, well…the kid would be aiming for money.”
“He’s not a damn whore, Tony.” Thor growled. Each time he denied Loki’s profession it made him feel worse for there was truth in it, and denying it was an insult to Loki, even though the truth wasn’t very pretty either. He scratched uselessly at the hard polished surface of the kitchen counter, both pleasant and devastating memories rising as Loki’s age flittered through his mind, churning his stomach. Underage boy
“I said rentboy.”
“Same thing!”
“Excuse me rentboy gives it a more Victorian feel, kind of classier. I mean Happy only had nice things to say about the guy when they were still a thing. Then again, it is his job to be nice so who knows what’s actually like.”
“I think he’s a cunning, sly little fox.” Thor grumbled, the truth of it stinging. “...I could tell he was hiding things but he just…I never thought…” As much as his anger toward Loki kept bubbling, it fizzled out in the same instant. Loki had ever only tried to please him, eagerly so, it was that simple.
“Well, if he told you about them you would’ve broke it off, right?” Tony asked. Thor had thought about that, and he was still indecisive leaning towards NO. Tony interrupted the pause. “…Right Thor? Or do I have to erase this phone call from existence when we’re done?”
Thor sighed again. “…Tony they have evidence. I can’t…I didn’t know!”
“Hey, chill, we’ll get through this. I mean, they’ve already told Happy where his sugar dumpling ran off to so that’s sorted but I know you’re not that kinda guy. If you’d known it was my pal you wouldn’t have—”
“Are you sure? Because if I can cheat on my wife Tony who knows what else I could do.” Thor hissed, furious at himself, furious at Loki, furious at Pierce, and furious at himself a little more.
“Look Happy won’t say a thing, and as for the evidence I’ll just have to consult JARVIS. That program is really turning into something useful. Look, if they want to play dirty, we can too. They forget I am actually a genius with billions.”
“Yeah, well, I have Natasha doing our own check on him. Bruce has his blood so we can get a read from there…”
“I don’t think we need a full on blood test. Just gotta show Happy his photo and watch the man sob—”
“He really doesn’t look that fucking young, Tony. If you see him—have you seen him? You must have seen—did Happy—He didn’t notice either!”
Tony was quiet for a few moments as Thor breathed heavily into the phone. “…Okay, Thor, you need to run that by me again. I know I sometimes just prattle on but I actually don’t speak gibberish.”
“Huh?” Thor heaved, his face burning in shame.
“You’ve lost me. Or least, I hope you did.” Tony said with a frown.
Thor frowned too, lost but needing his friend to understand, one of the only friends he would dare admit this to. He took a breath before repeating himself.
“…Tony, Loki is nineteen years old.”
“…Oh. Oh. Oh. Things. Evidence. Exposure. Jail.”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“And here I thought it was Jane and the press we were just up against. Wow. Okay. Nineteen.”
“I…maybe I knew and I didn’t want to admit it. Maybe eighteen, but fuck…he’s a kid. But he’s so smart and mature and just knows what to say—I don’t…”
“…You realise this means that Happy might've fucked him when he was seventeen, right?”
“Good God...”
“Yeah I’m not passing that on just yet... He’s good, I’ll give him that. Happy isn’t an idiot, and neither are you.”
“Lately I’ve wondered.”
Tony sighed from the other side. “This really isn’t good. Pierce is throwing a low blow by doing this. I assume you called me for some back up?”
“Yeah. He’s got me worried what kind of evidence they have. I swear I didn’t know...”
“Chances are they have nothing. They could be pulling this garbage out their asses. Or they have that one condemning moment purely by the devil’s luck. Either way, leave it to me. Oh shit.”
“What?”
“That Coulson guy is back, hovering outside like a damn velociraptor. I’ll call you back when I’ve found something. Sit tight, bud..”
There was little comfort to be had from his whole situation even with Tony’s aid. Thor remained in the kitchen, neglecting the whisper for work as he waited for Natasha’s phone call.
Loki did not see or hear from Thor that Sunday, or Monday. Things were quiet whereas they had gotten into the routine of sending silly little messages that would of course be deleted soon after. Loki never did send a message without Thor going first of course, the risk of Jane—or anyone¬—finding it was too great. So he resisted temptation and paranoia and kept silent too. Thor was obviously trying to work things out and away.
Like you, his mind supplied much to his ever growing pessimism.
It was hard not to be upset. The simple fact was that Thor was having a baby, something that would force him closer to Jane and eat up most of his time, and attention. It was not something Thor could shirk. And if he did, Loki would be forced to question what kind of a man he was. It was probably only a matter of time before Thor dropped him in favour of taking care of his family. What else could he expect? It was only right, Loki wouldn’t wish the kind of father or mother he had on anyone, least of all Thor’s child.
As depressing as it all was, there was still hope fluttering around determinedly in Loki’s chest on the grounds that he had made a good enough impression in their time together. Maybe Thor would still want to see him. Maybe he would eventually make some time for him? It wouldn’t be as often but it is the effort that counts. Maybe it would be a twice a month thing…or a once a month thing…He had no doubt that Thor would still fund him for those days, so he wouldn’t be completely fucked. But then that meant that he was…that would imply actual prostitution. It really was so easy to just fall into it by one little thing. A little innocent thing that could not be blamed because of the route his life took...
Fine, he could handle it. Skye would have a work buddy, they could work together, she’d be happy. He didn’t know exactly where she went or how it worked but he was a quick learner. He’d make up the money he loses from Thor, he’d just have to change his tactics a little. The job would become less about being a boyfriend and more about being a…a whore. Would Thor even want to touch him after he’s been with other men? There went all his fluttering hope, falling to the pits of his stomach like tiny cold rocks.
Suddenly he was thinking about Happy and the Bahamas, and cried at night into his pillow.
Tuesday wasn’t much better, especially when there was an unfamiliar knock on the door. It wasn’t Ward’s or his friend’s—the one Loki had seen at Thor’s office that day—so Loki got up slowly to answer it. Skye was asleep in her room, it was still too early in the day for her to be up, so Loki prepared himself for a battle if it was some creep at the door trying to take advantage.
When he opened the door he stepped back with a gasp, unintentionally opening the door wider.
“Loki.” Thor said, coolly.
“Thor.” Loki replied, his eyes blown. “What-what are you—...”
“Can I come in?”
“Er...er, yeah, yes. Um...” Loki babbled, not at all his usual eloquent self as he opened the door properly, glancing self consciously at the small room. Thor stepped in and glanced around, looking huge and entirely out of place despite his more casual appearance.
“Are you...okay?” Loki asked to the back of his head once the moment became too quiet, even with the TV and its commercials humming in the background. He had been doing nothing, doodling on his phone, feet bare and nails freshly painted for when—if—Thor called. But he also had on jeans, not at all the sexy type he wore around Thor, and a big boring grey t-shirt—he must have looked ridiculous. But Loki had the sick feeling in his stomach that that wasn’t why Thor looked so grim.
Shit.
Here it was. This was it. Thor had come to some decision. At least he didn’t look happy about it, so that meant that he would regret leaving Loki, at least? But that hope drained away as Thor stared at him, hands in his jean pockets and eyes unreadable.
Loki shifted, feeling vulnerable and tucked his hair back.
Still Thor said nothing, he was just staring at him.
“What?” Loki eventually blurted, arms folded defensively. It wasn’t his fault Thor had knocked up his damn wife and ruined everything they had when it just started.
Thor’s jaw moved side to side and for a brief second Loki was reminded of his father who had always done similar when he was about to get violent. He froze, his body going cold and curling in on itself in both denial and fear of what was going on. He had never experienced any kind of real aggression from Thor; he had no idea if Thor would actually hit him. He knew Thor was not a bully, but he was not a woman, or Thor’s wife or even his girlfriend. In all honesty there were still truckloads that he did not know about Thor, and if his short life had taught him anything it was that people were all cruel in one way or the other.
“You’re not twenty.”
That was all Thor needed to say to explain it. Loki dropped his arms and gaped, heart skipping into a million beats per second. Blood rushed to the surface of his skin and he burnt in shame, feeling every second as Thor stared hard into his face, hard enough to hurt.
“You’re nineteen.” Thor finished, clenching his jaw.
“...Just for four more months...” Loki breathed softly, so softly that Thor might not have heard it. Tears sprung to his eyes quicker than a bullet, but Thor’s eyes did not soften this time. He had messed up, he was done for. “I’m sorry—”
“No. Don’t say that.” Thor shook his head determinedly. “You’re not sorry.”
“I am.” Loki insisted weakly, bringing his hands up again to press at his rolling stomach. “I didn’t want to lie about that but what could I do?”
“What could you do? What could you do?” Thor asked loudly, startling Loki back. He seemed to ignore it, and took a step forward. “You could have told me that before you let me fuck you!”
“You wouldn’t have fucked me then!” Loki shouted back, the biggest tears rolling down his face.
Thor paused this time to look at them, but he was back on the horse a second later. “That is no excuse. What does that even mean? Why did you lead me on?”
“Why?” Loki repeated incredulously, “Why? Because I wanted you and you wanted me. I didn’t want to lose you. Why else?”
“I can think of why else.” Thor growled nastily.
Loki jerked back again, hurt. It was true though...
Still, he could be a bastard too.
“You never gave it one thought either, you know. How many times did you almost find out and just brushed it off. You just didn’t want to face the truth, you could have guessed but you didn’t want to do anything about it. You could have found out if you wanted with all your money and contacts!”
“And I did. Natasha got me a stack on Loki Laufeyson yesterday. I never realised how much I didn’t know.”
Loki hesitated, breathing as heavily as Thor was. “Wh-what was I supposed to tell you? About my sob story? About my age? No, that’s not what you wanted.”
“I deserved to know about your age, Loki!” Thor insisted hotly, “I am in shit now because of it!”
Loki blinked, a fresh rush of fear creeping through him. “What do you mean?”
“Someone found out about us. They have evidence.”
“Oh....shit.” Loki breathed.
Thor nodded. “Yeah, shit. They also let Happy know about us.”
Loki winced, bringing his hands up to wipe away the tears cascading down his red face.
“And I’m pretty sure the papers will know if Tony can’t sort this out. Loki do you understand how serious this is? I can be charged for statutory rape.”
“I am not a child Thor, I am almost twenty!”
“You are still underage, Loki, no matter how old you think you are. Age matters, it fucking matters!”
“You would never say any of this if you had never known! You wouldn’t have cared!”
“I have to care! I can be prosecuted! I can lose everything! I can lose you—!” he stopped, panting, and they looked at each other in surprise. Thor sighed quickly after and shook his head, carrying on. “And how do you think I feel, huh? How do you think I feel when I think on all those fucking things I did to you? Do you think I feel good about it? No, I feel fucking terrible. I took advantage of you in the worst ways and I never asked a thing even when I knew there was something wrong.”
Loki shifted uncomfortably, face and chest wet with tears. “Y-you never took advantage of me. I chose this.”
“And what about Harold, Loki? How old were you when you started with him?”
“Please, he wasn’t even the first.” Loki spat, loudly sniffing back his snot and tears.
Thor stared at his blotchy face, then sighed, and lifted his arms out in defeat. “Why, Loki? Why?”
“Because it runs in the family, okay?” Loki turned away, gritting his teeth against full on crying and wiped away the continuous river down his cheeks.
“What?” Thor asked, sighing again, and tried to step around him to see his face. “Loki, just talk to me. I need to hear from you why you did this—why you do this.”
“Because I can’t do anything else!” Loki exclaimed, stepping away from him. Thor’s warmth now seemed like a charity, and he didn’t want it. He was too proud. “All your talk of me and university just made me sick every time because that won’t happen. I can’t do anything right, I can’t work with others and nobody likes me, except when I’m on my knees. I am a horrible person and my teachers made that very clear those times when my mother didn’t.”
“What are you talking about? You are smart, you are sharp and—.”
“I’m not, okay? I could never keep my grades up, I could never focus. I had no respect and all I could do was get in trouble. Just like my father—oh but, I am sure you and Natasha already know that.”
“What I know is that you were a decent student who had troubles at home. It’s not rare for personal problems to interfere with school and work, I know the feeling—”
“No you don’t! You’ve never had to go to school hungry or dirty or embarrassed with the whole school knowing how pathetic you and your family are. You’ve never had to go to school with all your homework undone because your father spent the night tormenting you and forcing you how to learn how to open beer bottles with your hands till they bled, then telling you how stupid and skinny you are, like your mother. I couldn’t take it, I wasn’t going to make it. So I left. I left everything, and Skye took me in.”
“And then what? She herded you into prostitution?”
“And then I just did what my parents always told me I’d do—be a little whore. Skye had nothing to do with it. My first fuck was when I was sixteen and believe me my libido never slowed down—add that to the constant distractions to my fucked up days. All I knew I was good at was making the boys cum. Forgive me for pursing what I was actually good at.”
Loki was across the room by the end of his rant, a small coffee table between them. Thor’s face was entirely different than the moment he walked in.
“...Loki...” Thor was out of words for this and Loki felt a ridiculous amount of satisfaction, even as shame bubbled in his throat.
“Why are you even here? You know everything now so just leave. You’re having a baby, you need to be there and not in jail so just—just go. I’ll deny everything if someone asks, I’m good at lying. I won’t rat you out, I’m not that low.”
“I never said you would.” Thor said softly, and approached Loki. He was only satisfied when he managed to pull Loki into a hug, and released him awkwardly as if finding out his age after everything changed what they had done already.
“Why did you come?” Loki asked, frustrated.
“I came to find out your side of the story Loki. I care.” Loki looked dubious, so Thor shrugged. “Yes I am upset but I can see where you are coming from. You’re right, I could’ve found out, I could’ve asked. I guess I just...didn’t want to lose you.”
Loki shuffled against the wall, shoulders high with tension. “Ignorance is bliss...”
“Exactly.” Thor mumbled. He reached out, and tugged Loki’s arm, willing him closer. “Four months hey?”
“It’s taking so fucking long.” Loki sighed, half heartedly fighting Thor’s attempts at another hug.
“Loki,” Thor squared his shoulders and lifted his chin for eye contact. “Please answer me one thing.”
“Okay?” Loki mumbled sadly.
“...Was there ever a time I made you do something you truly didn’t want to do?”
The heat in Thor’s eyes was unmistakably fear, and Loki found a pleasant warmth rise in his belly at the concern Thor had for him, even if it was annoying.
“...No Thor. I was consensual. I was always consensual. And no I have never been raped.”
“Okay. Okay...okay.” Thor drew him in for another hug, his own eyes watery now. Loki hugged back his time, nuzzling his messy face into his jacket. Thor let him.
“I am not a child.” He insisted, muffled.
Thor pulled back. “And I am not a twenty year old to even try get away with it. It’s just wrong.”
“Thor I’ve been fucking for years now, it’s not a scar to my mind each time I see your dick.”
“Oh God,” Thor rubbed his hand over his face. Loki pulled it away irritably.
“Stop that, nothing has changed! I was always nineteen! If you can just accept that we can—we can—...are you...are you dumping me?”
Thor parted his lips silently, then closed them, then opened them again, and shook his head. “I don’t know. I should...for my family, for...I should.”
“I know.” Loki swallowed, fresh tears rolling and his fingers finding their way into Thor’s jacket like usual, only this time Thor still said nothing about it. “But I don’t want you to. I want to stay with you...”
“...I want that too, baby. But even if you did Loki...we’ve been caught. We can’t risk being seen together again. At least not until you’re twenty-one.”
“This is bullshit. It is so fucked up.” Loki hissed under his breath, knocking his forehead on Thor’s chest. Thor wrapped his arms around him and squeezed, near enveloping him.
“I know. It’s incredibly fucked up...”
“I think that is underestimating it.”
The pair sprang apart like a faulty cog on a wheel, staring at the doorway where Jane stood with her hand on the handle, Darcy wide eyed and hovering behind her.
“Jane.” Thor said, loudly.
“Thor.” She replied coolly, looking just like Thor had when he first entered, nothing like that cheerful woman Loki had met that day at lunch.
“Loki?” Darcy added, jaw to the floor.
“Er,” Skye said from the hallway to the bedrooms, woken from her sleep and staring in shock at the gathering.
“I can explain.” Thor said quickly, and Jane rolled her eyes, much like Loki did in his head. “But how did you—”
“No, no I don’t think you can.” Jane snapped, then looked at Loki. “And you? How could you? How could you sit in front of me, talking to me when you—just when I think people can’t get any worse—!”
“What?” Thor asked, and looked back at Loki who looked away, still fighting to keep the tears off his face.
“Oh he didn’t tell you, or are you just playing dumb?” Jane asked, stalking in a few steps, hair wild and surprisingly, eyes red. “I met Loki on a lunch with Darcy, and her—” she pointed at Skye. “We met, and he looked me in the eye knowing what he did. And don’t even act like you didn’t know, I know you’ve been to our home and it not hard to miss photos on the damn wall. Unless you two were too busy screwing each other to see past your pricks.”
Thor ducked his head, closing his eyes and nodded, cringing. “I know. I know...I fucked up Jane, again. I know.”
“You don’t seem as sorry this time.” She sniffed, wiping away her own rogue tears.
“...You don’t seem as mad.” He said after a moment, frowning.
“Maybe I am just over it.” She said, throwing her hands out. “Just like you stopped caring about me going off for my job.”
“I do care.” Thor argued softly. It wasn’t very convincing, and Jane smiled sadly.
“See?”
Thor licked his dry lips, then looked at Darcy and Skye. “Can we please have a moment?”
“Sure.” Skye nodded, and gestured for Darcy to follow. She did, albeit reluctantly and as they disappeared Loki hurried to follow them.
“Hey,” Thor caught his arm, and Loki struggled.
“Please let me go.” He whispered, unable to look at either of them.
Thor let him go, and he ran to his room.
He didn’t even want to hear their conversation, he just wanted to cry himself to death.
In the living room the couple stared at each other, eyes red and shoulders slumped.
“...Is there something you need to tell me?” Jane asked, seating herself on the edge of the sofa.
Thor hesitated, teeth clenched behind his lips. He looked around at Loki’s little home, still feeling Loki’s warmth on his chest. But one look at Jane and slumped further, taking a seat and placing his hands on his face.
“...It’s different this time.”
It grew loud, then soft, then loud then soft again, and Loki sat on his bed staring at his knees wishing they would just both leave. It was just over an hour later when there was another unfamiliar knock at the door and Loki stared, eyes swollen and red.
It opened, and Jane popped her head in.
“Can I come in?” she asked, voice calm.
He shrugged. “I’ve trespassed in your house.” He croaked.
“Why are you still crying?”
Loki looked away from her, and hugged his blanket around him tighter. “I don’t know.” He mumbled.
“You were crying before I got here. Why?”
“What do you mean why?” he asked irritably.
“I want to know why you were crying.” She said, sitting on the bed besides him.
“...I can’t tell you.” He said, looking at his toenails.
“You owe that to me at least.”
Loki winced, looking away to be able to speak. “I was scared.”
“Of what? Thor? Me?”
“...Of...losing him.”
“Did you ever cry for any of the other men?”
Loki couldn’t help looking at her, wondering if and what Thor told her about them. It was probably everything, the hour felt like a long damn time.
“No.”
“Are you in love with Thor?”
Loki stared at her, mouth twisted in contempt as his heart clenched. I think so. “Why would you ask me that?”
“I am trying to understand.” She said, glancing around his room. He’d bought a new cupboard to fit all his new clothes, many of which lay around the room thanks to his depression. “If you only cared about Thor’s money I imagine you wouldn’t be hiding in your room, or crying, or even allowing us in your home. You could’ve kicked us out, called the police. Or you could have been more creative, and tried to turn Thor against me. From what he’s told me you’re bright.”
“You’re pregnant, I’m not a monster.” He growled.
“No, I suppose you’re not. But you don’t believe that.”
“Shouldn’t I? I’d been coercing your husband into an affair.”
Jane started to laugh.
And she laughed, and laughed. Loki was almost smiling by the time she was done, thoroughly confused.
“Are you...?”
“Coercing isn’t quite the word. My husband can’t be forced into anything—so keep that in mind if he has ever complained about me.”
“He’s never.” Loki said quickly. “I mean, he’s never said a word against you.” His face started to burn as the few times that he and Thor had engaged in sex during phone calls with Jane popped into his head.
“That’s nice to know, at least.” She said, sadly.
His shoulders dropped. “I am sorry.”
“You still didn’t answer my question.”
Loki frowned. “Which question?”
“Do you love him?”
“Do you?” he countered stubbornly, instinctually defending Thor.
“Of course, I married him didn’t I?”
“But then why—?”
“That is too long a story and our business. We’re talking about you.”
Loki shifted, feeling every bit as nineteen as this woman stared down at him. And suddenly he felt foolish for the answer was yes, and he only now realised how ridiculous it was. He was in love with his married thirty year old sugar daddy and discussing it with his fucking wife. He should be dead or arrested, not crying.
His face and prolonged silence gave him away. Jane pressed her lips together in a knowing look, nodding.
Loki swallowed and shook his head. “It doesn’t mean anything. I’m no one, you can both get back to your lives, I won’t...I won’t come back, I promise.”
“Thor wouldn’t like that.”
Loki looked at her incredulously. “So? He’s yours.”
“And apparently you are his.”
Loki just frowned harder.
“Did Thor ever tell you that he used to have two to three girlfriends at a time in high school?”
“No,” Loki said, trying and successfully picturing it. He was big enough to hug three girls at once.
“And they all knew about each other. You’d see them all strolling down the corridors, laughing, smiling, kissing. It drove me mad.”
“That’s...horrible.” Loki breathed, feeling a little sick.
Jane quickly waved her hand and shook her head, chuckling. “No, we weren’t together then. I actually didn’t really know him, but because of him it started this stupid trend where the girls would debase themselves into joining these polygamous relationships with guys they really wanted. They were treated like trash, but they just...stayed. And let me tell you as quickly as Thor lost a girlfriend, he got a new one. It was just so popular, so easy.”
“Doesn’t seem like your type.” He mumbled awkwardly.
“Not really.” She agreed seriously, and looked off with a thoughtful sigh. “But...in our senior years he grew out of the fad and thanks to some big mouths he found out I had a tiny crush on him. And it turns out I was one of the rare girls he hadn’t gotten in bed yet.”
“Bet that was catnip.”
“It was, but even after I brushed him off he just...kept coming back. Next thing I knew we were dating and I waited and waited but...I was still the only one. And I am proud to say Thor waited and waited until our wedding night to get what he wanted.”
“...He didn’t cheat on you right afterwards did he?” Loki asked worriedly.
“Oh no, that was years later. But I was at fault too, and we’ve spoke about it. Part of that long story. But now here we are again, here you are, and unlike the others Thor has dropped down the canyon to receive my forgiveness, you’re another one he’s holding onto.”
“Does that make me special?” he blurted, face going red in anticipation of a slap, even though his heart went warm and fuzzy at her implications.
“With everything he told me, I’d think so.”
Loki’s face burnt even hotter and he squirmed. “What did he tell you?”
“Oh no, there’s no acting shy and coy here. The nature of your relationship with my husband is sexual, and it’s Thor, I know all the things he likes.”
“I’m sorry,” Loki said again, slapping his hands over his face, feeling small and stupid.
“Thor really likes you. And he’s worried about your future.” She said, frowning at him.
“I know...”
“When I asked you about your plans, you didn’t give me an answer. Is it because you had no answer? Or was it to live forever in Thor’s pocket?”
“...Bit of both.” Loki admitted.
“What if you got your wish and you’re happy for five years, and then suddenly Thor died. Your main income would be gone, what then?”
Loki shrugged, face turned away.
“You need to finish school.”
Loki frowned again. “You should be telling me to go to hell, Mrs. Foster. Not school. Why do you care?”
“Do you want me to?” She snapped.
He looked up, but instead of cruelty there was only a reprimanding look on her face. The motherly kind that everyone needed at some point in their lives. “...No...”
“I care because Thor does. You made him happy, even through your lies and ridiculous amounts of sex. There was a time when Thor was sleeping with one of his PAs, and he was even more miserable than before. We both were. But you...he’s never hugged anyone the way he hugged you, besides me. He wants to help you.”
“...Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I do too, I don’t believe in coincidences. A kid who needs some major help gets dropped in our laps and Thor actually cares around his busy schedule, enough to hold onto and be used as blackmail?”
“You’re not mad?”
“Mad? I’m livid. And you’re underage. But that opens up another can of worms I am too tired to get into.”
“It’s all my fault. I can be very...convincing.” he admitted ruefully.
“Thor should’ve opened his eyes. Yeah he was wrong, but it’s over now.”
Loki went cold, but he nodded.
“So, seeing as how you don’t know what you’re going to do, and Thor is half in tears, we came up with an offer.”
Loki couldn’t help raising a brow, feeling more fuzziness at the notion that Thor truly didn’t want to let him go. “...Okay?”
“Look I didn’t mean to get pregnant, I am seriously in the middle of some important discoveries, but it happened. The universe’s way of punishing me... I know it must have burst the bubble you were living in but maybe it’s for the best—yours included. I’m going to need someone to help me with the baby when it’s born, probably someone live-in.”
She stopped there to let it all swirl around in Loki’s head, and swirl it did. After the sixth frown he shook his head, shrugging at the same time. “I don’t...what are you...?”
“Thor is not going to touch you again until you’re at least twenty-one. I’m sorry but that is rule umber one, and I don’t care how horny you get. Rule number two you’re finishing school and choosing a career. And rule number three; to make up to me you’re going to learn all about babies and be there to help me when I’m busy, which will probably be all the time. I don’t want to hear one complaint.”
“You’re...you’re gonna...me...”
She sighed, sounding dubious but not unsure. “...I said Thor can keep you, if you agreed. I’ve been unfair to him...the least I can do is let you stay. But you have to follow my rules.”
“...Huh?”
“Okay don’t just sit their gaping like a fish, use your noggin.”
“Mrs. Foster, I—this is crazy-!” he insisted weakly, leaning away from her even as all he wanted to do was throw himself into her arms and cry.
“You don’t like it?” She asked, brow arching.
Loki was at a loss. He shrugged and shook his head, then nodded and shrugged again, then a jumble of them all. It was just so insane, so wonderful, so insane!
She stood from the bed and pursed her lips, hands on her hips. “Do you want to stay with Thor?”
Loki nodded numbly.
“Then tough shit. This is how it happens. I’ll write you up a contract in the morning. Natasha will probably come to get you. Think about it, decide tomorrow. Okay?”
Loki nodded again.
Jane rolled her eyes and sighed, smiling softly. “Thor’s waiting in the car. You can talk tomorrow. Talk. Good night now.”
“Night.” He whispered, and watched as Jane exited quietly, leaving him once more in the darkening room.
Loki did not sleep a wink, checking his phone constantly for the sorry changed our mind or sleep tight baby messages that did not come.