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Exhausted, that's what he was, though it was nothing new nowadays. A year into pro-hero work, he realized that taking a break would never be possible. So, Shouta learned to rest between jobs, and a post-patrol nap was on the menu… or so he planned – until Hizashi appeared.
When was Shouta not exhausted? Hizashi smiled when he saw that familiar slouching posture, still dressed in his hero get-up… while Hizashi had put in some effort for the occasion. Their last outing was a while ago. “HEY! Where's the excitement?”
“Uh… Napping?" Shouta replied, not really joking. Behind bangs of dark hair, his eyes skimmed over Hizashi, confused, noting the get-up, figuring out he insensitively forgot about an after-work outing, perhaps. It's been hard to find the capacity for it... "Finished early?"
Hizashi giggled at Shouta’s comeback. He just loved it when Shouta was unintentionally funny. Patting Shouta’s shoulder, he shook his head. “Not exactly, but I didn’t do overtime today, given the occasion. You ready?” He knew his friend was rather practical,
seeing him in his hero outfit most of the time. But Shou could be dressed in a gunny sack and still look perfect to Hizashi. “C’m on. The place is a bit out of town. You can nap on the train.” On his shoulder, if need be. He winked and pulled Shouta along.
Occasion? A wintery afternoon as any other to Shouta.
Though, to be frank, of course he wasn't opposed to spending some time with Hizashi. No, actually – that came out colder than it should have.
Shouta appreciated it. He really did. Including the occasional clinginess…
Some days were just harsher. Shouta wasn't sure how Hizashi recognized those, but he always gripped onto him during the colder times, hours, minutes…
Shouta sighed, a puff of cold air enveloping his face.
"Nap sounds good. Also, I don't have a clue where we are going." Or why.
Hizashi stopped in his tracks when Shouta admitted that. He blinked a few times, confused, but then remembered that Shouta didn’t give much about this kind of thing. He chuckled, shaking his head, and patted the other’s shoulder again.
“Remember we said we’d go to the Christmas market downtown? Since we’re both free tonight?” Their last date was months ago, since their schedules didn’t really match. “Anyway, surprise! I guess?” So he just squeezed Shouta as they walked to the train station.
"Ah, right, thanks? I guess I remember now." He did not, and playing the kinda-lying game felt a little wrong. Hizashi probably didn't buy it for a moment.
Alright, fair enough. Heroes had to keep to their word, whether enthusiastic or not.
Take on challenges with a bright smile and...
At least Hizashi was warm, and the market would offer a comforting drink after a decent shoulder nap. One which happened the very moment they entered the train – crowded with youth like themselves. So there was not much sitting space.
Instead, Shouta leaned against Hizashi as they stood among others, taking him up on the offer. Nestled in his own wrappings and nuzzled into Hizashi's much softer, welcoming, fuzzy scarf. It didn't take much at all, and hero instincts didn't knock him off balance at any point.
Shouta’s sleeping skills were on a different level. An inhuman one. With so many people around them… he still dozed off, using Hizashi as a vertical mattress. It was a miracle that Hizashi’s pulse running miles per hour didn’t rattle Shouta awake.
Or the heat of the blood flushing Hizashi’s face as he stood there, frozen in place not to wake Shouta up. The train’s announcement did that an hour later. “Hey, we’re there. Come on,” Hizashi whispered gently, not to startle Shouta awake.
"Right." As asleep, so awake, Shouta simply unglued himself from Hizashi's frame by leaning back. Looking much the same, whether the little rest counted or not. Maybe a jolt of energy? Or a sliver of some openenss?
A possibility of openness, at least?
No, Shouta wasn't unapproachable, after all. But he sure pulled in lots of too-approachable people.
The Christmas market wasn’t crowded anymore, since they reached it near its closing time. But the lights were on, and a few stands were still open; the first they reached offered hot drinks. “Can I treat you to something? You know, to celebrate the special occasion?”
Shouta looked at the drinks listed in chalk, feeling the bite of the cold licking at his hands, scalp, nose, and cheeks. He wasn't much of a sweet tooth, but once in a while – why not?
"White Chocolate... Mocha?" He pondered out loud before Hizashi's other words registered. The blonde dressed specially for taking the trash out if he felt like it, so while things added to it, the clarity wasn't... quite clear. "Special how?"
It was just so like Shouta to be oblivious to these relationship milestones. To be fair, with how much work they had as freshly baked heroes, they didn’t have much time to do relationship-y stuff. It was what it was – Hizashi tried to make the best out of it.
Hizashi looked at the menu as if he hadn’t already found his drink. He flushed again, smirking sheepishly. “Well, it’s our first date in a while, and almost in time for our nine-month anniversary.” Just a tad late, given their mismatched schedules, but he wasn’t picky.
So he brushed his finger over Shouta’s, very casually. It could have passed as an accident if it wasn’t for the softer smile Hizashi showed his boyfriend. He knew Shouta wasn’t a PDA-type of person. “So, a White Chocolate Mocha?”
"White Chocolate Mocha…" Shouta repeated, in a nod and a thought, both, turning slightly to Hizashi. Nine months? Nine months, ripe and ready to be born. Nine months since they jumped into being official pro-heroes. Nine months of labor and growth and sleepless nights and days.
Shouta felt a shiver go through him – at the lick of cold and the brush of surprisingly warm fingers. Nine months was a curious anniversary, even more so to nine months of dating.
Dating, as in making time to be together. Dating, as in having an intent of a future together.
Touch. Companionship. Things alien to Shouta.
He watched the drink being made, the heat pouring out of the cup in a thick, white cloud tinted by colors.
Shouta blinked, staring at a snowflake before it melted on his nose.
Wait...
"Date?" He blurted out. "We were dating?"
Humming some melody as he waited for the barista to get Shouta’s order and to place his own, Hizashi occasionally glanced at the man by his side, tiredly staring ahead and probably overthinking things as he always did. However, he did not expect that reply.
He blinked a few times as confusion and a mild panic washed over him. “Uh…” He ran their first actual date after the graduation ceremony through his head. How much he struggled to ask Shouta out, how elated he was when his crush casually agreed with a shrug of his shoulders.
How he borrowed money from his parents to take Shouta to a fancy place. “N-Not? Remember how I asked you if you… wanted to keep chasing our dream of becoming pro heroes together… and more? And how we went out a couple more times after that, before things got really busy?”
Oh, fuck... Had he misunderstood all that? But everyone congratulated him when he told others about it! “I- I thought… UH.” Shouta’s drink just got ready to give him some moments of grace as he tried to figure out what to say to mend things. “I’ll …uh…take the Rum Tea, please.”
Rum Tea? Did Hizashi always like that, or was that a new thing? Did Shouta ever pay proper attention, really? So many aspects to immediately overthink. A wake-up potion far better than a shot of coffee, that was for sure.
It would have explained some things, thinking back on it…
Like the messages stuffed with emojis, certain moments, Shouta supposed. Perhaps it didn't help Hizashi's case that he was always...open. With everyone. It's been taken much for granted and, worse yet – unnoticed.
And that, too, was unfair and not quite true, really.
No, Hizashi didn’t like the Rum Tea. At all. It was disgusting, but it helped ignore the embarrassment he felt. It was their strongest, and he really felt like he needed a drink to deal with this… mess. He took a big sip before turning back, shuddering, and pulling a face.
Frankly, Shouta, too, felt a surge of panic, embarrassment, and a dollop of shame with a wave of self-realization.
Shouta was dense. Beyond dense, busy, maybe not interested enough in the possibility of all this... but nonetheless dense. If life depended on THIS, he'd be a goner.
Was his cup deep enough to drown in it? Should he just run away to the rooftops? That's not something Oboro would support, but Shouta found himself under a barrage of feelings that didn't quite fully blossom in the last nine months.
"I never really... thought I was… Uh… dateable?"
Hizashi couldn’t help but laugh at Shouta’s dry humor. His heart was still hammering, flushing his whole body with heat and a radiating blush, but… Hizashi remembered that this was still Shouta. His best friend. They would find a way to work through this. Somehow.
“Well, I thought you were shy and needed your time to come around, but… I uh… well.” Under his sunglasses, Hizashi’s cheeks were glowing red. “I find you very datable.” He chuckled and shook his head. How could he have misread everything this entire time?
But then again, they had never kissed or anything of the likes. What has he been thinking? “I’m sorry, I… I was being assumptive. I just thought you… needed time. And space. Since you’re… you.” It was so embarrassing, he just wanted to dissolve into the ground.
Likewise for Shouta. While the cold still tried to seep through his clothes, heat poured over his face and ears, tightening his throat. Not very heroic, not quite like Shouta… That, too, wasn't quite accurate either.
It was, well… everything rang differently at this very moment.
"Yeah, I'm me," he admits, feeling like he was wasting Hizashi's time and dignity alike right now. The compliments and reasoning were sincere, but he struggled with them nonetheless. "But nine months is... a long time to wait."
For a reply. For Shouta to catch on and think!
"It doesn't seem that much when time flies by and you're both too busy to see each other. And you are a very private person, so I thought… You just needed time to adjust to our new... Arrangements. Which again isn't easy when you have your hands and head full of hero work."
A little bit slowed down, but Hizashi's hero senses still kicked back in. Shouta wasn't running or telling him to back off. He was visibly struggling, just like Hizashi. Staring at his drink, he weighed his options, only to perk up at Shouta's next words.
"I mean, I am not..." Well, he wasn't Oboro, a mountain of energy to match Hizashi's. He wasn't even a regular, romanceable guy. He didn't even think Hizashi was guilty here in any way – hopeful, if anything. But to take chances with someone so numb was just... something.
"I'm not... opposed, I just don't think I am a good pick... considering current... this." Shouta stares into his cup, wishing to disappear into his wrapping.
Hope flared up again at Shouta's concession, and Hizashi wanted to do something to stop this horrible awkwardness that clogged his throat and gave him heart palpitations. Instead of scratching the back of his head, he reached out, nudging Shouta.
"Hey, don't say that. I'd give you whatever time you need, because I think you're worth it. Because… I like you... A lot."
That's how far his hero courage let him venture for now. He looked back at his drink and pulled a face.
"That's something I can't say about this tho."
Shouta scoffed at the joke. (That, too, was a lie, because it was actually a huffed-out amusement.) Everything said prior to it had his stomach in knots, so letting it up helped a little.
"Don't you like vanilla? Never saw you drink rum."
Hizashi just chuckled and shrugged. “Eh…”
"Could we please have one with vanilla?" Shouta requested, exchanging an understanding nod with the barista.
"This one's on me. This is what you get for taking chances." Shouta teased, nervously, as he immediately buried back into his drink, this time finally giving it a sip.
Too sweet – almost. The coffee eventually burst through, but just barely. Either way, it held off the cold.
The barista seemed amused about Shouta’s request, having obviously overheard their conversation. He got to work quickly and handed Hizashi a Vanilla Mocha rather quickly. “No offense,” Hizashi offered to the man, trying to mend something at last.
“And thanks,” he added, directed at Shouta as he took the beverage, tasting it right away to quench the burning of the alcohol. Better, sweeter. Another hopeful note in all this nerve-wracking negotiating. Hizashi licked his lips, pondering his next words when Shouta spoke up.
"Must be hard arranging anything when it's just yourself doing it. I haven't been very helpful in that. And it's been... hard to even meet with a friend. Much less think of anything more than that. So, uh." Professional. Mature. Pro-hero language. "Happy anniversary?"
“Well, sometimes you gotta take your chances if you want… a little change, y’know?” Hizashi smiled, but hid the lower half of his face behind the mug.
His heart started fluttering again at Shouta’s shy offering. But he didn’t want to repeat the same mistake again, drawing assumptions and all… “So, uh… you- you wanna date? Me?” Gosh, why did his voice get so squeaky when he was nervous?
The pitch would be a little amusing on another day, but today it just added to Shouta almost squirming in his stillness. Not that he wasn't mindful of the barista, but after hurriedly paying up, he looked at Hizashi before replying to the question.
"Let's see other stands?"
Hizashi threw a confused yet apologetic look over his shoulder at the barista. They’d have to come back eventually, or else they wouldn’t get the security for the mugs back. Or they could just… keep them. As little memories. Of… You know. Whatever this was going to be.
These were probably the longest moments of Hizashi’s life, stumbling along as Shouta dragged him away into the middle of nowhere, between stand and lights and people passing without even gracing them with as much as a look. Personal space. Shouta needed that.
Honestly, it was an unsubtle plot, not so much to postpone the answer, but just... walk off the embarrassment? Move around a little while he wrangled his thoughts into something a little sensible? Shake off the slow snow that kept the night bright?
All of these and more.
"I, um..." Feelings talk. One would think inching around the theme would be easier, but... here they were, months later. Present on completely different levels.
Having Hizashi wait for months more, while sweet that he would wait, was also disheartening for Shouta.
"Yes." He blurts out, almost confidently, hiding in his wrappings, barely available, but at least with his shoulder close to Hizashi.
It would be ridiculous not to after all this - and not out of guilt, just out of... the surge of realizations and possibilities.
Hizashi just stared at Shouta as he blurted out that one tiny word… which took ages to register with him. His body knew first; it showed in the little twitch the corner of his mouth did as it quirked upwards in a disbelieving smile. “R-Really?!”
Unsure of what to do and what was okay with Shouta now that they were actually in the clear, Hizashi’s hand paddled, reaching out but then hesitating, pulling back again. There was nothing more Hizashi wanted to do than hug Shouta and kiss him.
But all he dared do was blush awkwardly (squeakily) and laugh out, “Wow. Great!”
Great. Very heroic. Good work, ‘Zashi.
He chuckled, even more awkward. Only talking people could be helped, he remembered.
“C- Can I kiss you?”
"Yeah." Came out an equally heroic, muffled reply, punctuated with a nod in case it was not heard.
To be frank, more than anything else right now, Hizashi's elation was what got to Shouta. The mix of frost and embarrassment, the blush, the voice pitch, the energy...
Energy directed just at Shouta. It kind of... hurt that he's been blind to it for months. Or letting it just... escape into the air, unresponded to. Ignored. Taken for just the usual.
Unfair. Unfair and foolish and leaving Shouta in multilayered disbelief--
And then the kiss.
"Right," Shouta said out loud to his thoughts. What about hand-holding? Wasn't that the first step? It would be... if he hadn't missed out on it for months, perhaps.
How many times had Hizashi placed his hand just right next to Shouta’s, just for them to accidentally touch, casually brush over each other, offer an opportunity to just… hold it? Hizashi didn’t care, really.
Well, perhaps a kiss was only suitable for now. Nine months was a fair time, and with how Hizashi was downright vibrating…
Was he kissable? Or was Hizashi delusional and too tired to see past an image he painted?
Shouta took another sip of his drink to at least wash the flavor of the day with something nicer and found it in him to tug down his wrappings.
Honestly, it would probably be dangerous just to let him stand there longer without a good answer.
"I, um... I'm chapped from the cold, but... sure. Yeah. Yes."
Hizashi knew it would take months, with how much his friend was struggling with opening up. But he persisted patiently and eventually made it through to him… Regardless of misunderstandings and a lack of clarity. What did those matter now? Not at all.
Not when Shouta’s ‘Yes’ was outspoken and clear, and Hizashi’s heart skipped a beat. Their hands were still full with mugs, so it was bound to be awkward… The way he put his arm cautiously around Shouta’s shoulder, careful not to dip his hair in vanilla coffee.
Or how his free hand was jittering when he placed it on Shouta’s cheek, gently tilting his face up out of his wrapping scarf. How could one tired grump just look… so cute? Hizashi smiled, grinned so much his cheeks hurt. “I never kissed anyone before,” he admitted. A heads-up.
Despite his stomach buzzing and his cheeks blazing up, he ducked his head and… brushed his lips over Shouta’s. It felt awkward, and hot, and good, and tasted so sweet, like white chocolate. Oh god, he really hoped it felt for Shouta just as good as for him…
He pulled away a little, not too soon, but… way too soon for his liking. Searching Shouta’s face, he huffed a laugh, trying to hide his insecurity. Did he like that? Wasn’t it too much? Should he back off? It was just… that his body wouldn’t move. “I- I hope that was okay?”
No, it wasn't too much at all, maybe even too little. Maybe one part was too much while another was too little - Shouta couldn't quite pinpoint. He wasn't quite sure what to anticipate, or feel, or do. He didn't think himself kissable.
Being kissed while not feeling kissable, well... The kiss wasn't much. But Hizashi's excitement was much, and the situation as well, and the little half embrace and the cheek caress that would have been cheesy... if it weren't so vulnerable.
At least they were finally on equal ground?
The was also so brief, Shouta didn't even close his eyes. Just stared as Hizashi leaned in. He tasted like mint, coffee, and vanilla, and smelled of cologne that didn't quite fit him.
Or maybe Shouta simply didn't smell it enough to really tie the two together.
"No," Shouta replies, staring at him unblinkingly, as was the nature of a cat. "It was good."
Still, he takes Hizashi's hand to lower it away from his hot cheek. He doesn't immediately let go of it - he tries. He tries to let the touch linger and the feeling last.
So he could contemplate it later. Maybe let it blossom in his stomach and see what new things it unravels within him.
It was snowing, slowly but steadily, plump snowflakes settling on bright hair, catching the light like crystals.
"I'm glad you asked. You didn't have to wait."
For a brief moment, Hizashi’s breath hitched, since he had not expected a straightforward ‘No’ of all possible answers, so the clarification had him crumble with a relieved moan that turned into a chuckle. “Man, don’t do this to me.” Still, he smiled back at Shouta. “I’m glad.”
Because he didn’t intend to stop now that he got a taste. He squeezed the hand holding his, pulling Shouta closer nonetheless. “Because I liked that. You’re… very kissable, by the way. I guess I gotta show you just how much.”
And that he did, diving in for another kiss without any hesitation, now that he knew how Shouta felt about it.
And another.
And another.
Until the taste of white chocolate and vanilla wore off, so they had to take another sip just to refresh the taste to share, again.