Work Text:
The cold morning air was comforting in a sense. Cold and wet with a scent of fresh morning dew. Throughout the playground, a harsh creaking of a swing could be heard. A young boy on it stopped every few minutes to breathe out some steam through his mouth. He sometimes liked to pretend he was a dragon. A dragon that could fly home.
Even when soft footsteps approached, the eight year old didn’t stop swinging. He didn’t want to look the man in the eye.
“Megumi.” He stopped in front of him. His voice was stern, but calm. So he’s angry.
“I’m not angry.” The man answered, even though the question was never asked out loud. “I just wanna know why you did it.”
Definitely angry. “You’re gonna leave now, right?” Tsumiki’s gonna be sad again. Just because I messed up.
Gojo stopped the swing, and slowly crouched to Megumi’s level. “Look at me, Megumi.”
Megumi guesses this is it. He is going to watch another person leave him. He is going to hear him say how he is a disappointment, how he is not worth his time and how he doesn’t really care what happens to him. So Megumi looks up and finds that Gojo isn’t wearing any glasses. His eyes are exposed, leaving him vulnerable and open.
“I’m not leaving you, Megumi.” There is not a single ounce of hesitance or doubt in his voice.
And Megumi feels like time has stopped.
He finds emotions in those eyes that he thought could never be meant for him. Not anger, but understanding. Not disgust, but fondness. And not, hate, but love.
And the smile on his face is genuine and so so bright Megumi doesn’t remember what darkness feels like. “You’re stuck with me.” And he ruffles his hair. “Forever.”
He shakes his hand off. “Don’t do that.”
And the white haired man laughs. Like he actually means it. He offered his hand to the boy. “Let’s go home?”
And Megumi considered for a brief second to grab his hand. “Don’t need that.” But decided not to and instead walked next to him.
“Ah yes, I keep forgetting, you’re a much more serious adult then I am, right?.”
With a newfound confidence, he proudly exclaimed. “We’re equals.”
And for a moment there, he’s sure that was surprise on Gojo’s face. “Wow, such strong words. You learned that yesterday in school?”
“Yes.”
“So, how was school yesterday, my equal?” Even though it was said in a teasing tone, Megumi liked the sound of that.
Sue him if a small smile crept onto his face.
There was loud banging noise outside the door followed by an even louder voice. “Fushiguro! Wake up! Training with Gojo-sensei today!”
The said boy was startled out of his dream in a fit of sweat. He wasn’t even that angry at the energetic awakening since this was the part where Tsumiki got mad at him from running away from home.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m awake.” He shouted as he hurriedly put on his pants.
Wait, Satoru is back?
The scent of moist wood hit him as he entered the dojo. Itadori and Kugisaki were already in there. So they were only waiting for Satoru. Of course.
“Hey, how come Gojo-sensei texted you, Itadori. Usually, he always texts Fushiguro.” Kugisaki asked when they began stretching.
Right what I wanted to ask.
But Itadori was just as confused as we are. “I don’t know. Maybe to balance the responsibility between us? That means you’re next, Kugisaki.” He added with a teasing smile.
“Look at that. An actual smart answer. That’s your first.” She shot back with a smile on her own face.
Before they started arguing, as that usually is, Megumi stated. “Well, good, because he’s unbearable.” Not really.
“Who’s unbearable now?” A strong voice shouted behind him.
Instead of flinching, because it startled him, Megumi replied in a calm voice. “You, of course.”
There was a fake hurt evident in his voice when he spoke. “You wound me, my dear student.”
“But I guess there is no harm in rotating means of communication.” He sighed.
“Exactly my thoughts.” Please don’t.
No one really knows when it started, but after a mission with Satoru, the four of them would go out for lunch at some nearby place. Satoru would pay of course. And after that, Satoru would keep pestering Megumi to visit him at his house. Megumi would pretend that he was annoyed (which he was, sometimes), but he was actually happy to spend some time with his guardian.
It was always like that. It wasn’t really supposed to change.
But things do change, Megumi supposes.
The sun was just setting down as they were going to some Chinese place from a mission. Nobara and Megumi a bit slower, behind Yuji and Gojo.
They were talking and laughing together, like nothing else exists except the two of them. Nobara was talking about something to Megumi, but Megumi wasn’t listening. Wasn’t paying attention to anything. There was a loud ringing in his ears, and everything seemed to slow down. To stop. It was blurry and he was feeling nauseous.
“-egumi. Megumi!” The ringing stopped and Nobara’s voice echoed in his head. “You good?”
The world was in motion again. “Yeah. Sorry, what were you saying?” He asked slowly.
She narrowed her eyes at him and eyed him suspiciosly. “Nah, you’re not good, you look awful. You should go back to the dorms for today.”
Any other time, the young sorcerer would decline the offer and pretend he was fine, but not now. He was sick from watching the two of them like that. So he waved to Nobara and went towards the dorms.
He realizes that he shouldn’t feel this way. Yuji is his friend who’s new to sorcery and fighting curses. He has the literal King of Curses sealed inside of himself. Of course he’s gonna need extra assistance and all the help he can get. And Gojo is his teacher. He’s the man who’s supposed to support him through such a hard time. It’s natural that he’s gonna spend more time with him.
Instead of Megumi.
Disgusting Megumi who’s jealous of his teacher and his best friend. How can he even call himself a friend?
He feels like he’s drowning. Inside this horrendous black sea full of bubbling anxiety and jealousy. He’s fighting against the waves of his own creation, unable to tame them.
And he thinks it's fine if he drowns. Because he’s being replaced. He’s not needed anymore.
“Are you in a rush after Yuji surpassed you?”
“You don’t know how to bring out your best, do you?”
Satoru doesn’t need him.
He did his part, and now he’s of no use anymore. He’s going to leave, even though he promised he wouldn’t.
Well, why wouldn’t he? Yuji is so much more better than him. He’s already a better fighter than him, he’s fun, he’s emotional, he’s kind, has the same mindset as Gojo and is far more sociable. Megumi doesn’t stand a chance against him.
Did it start raining?
Megumi thinks as something wet rolls down his cheek.
Ah, it’s not rain.
“Where’s Megumi?” Gojo questions.
Yuji answers. “He said he’s sick. Throwing up and all that stuff. So I told him to stay in bed.”
Odd. That kid is never sick. “Ok then. I’ll check up on him after training. Start without me.”
He says as he exits the room and fishes out his phone. He presses on the contact My Emo Kid and calls. It rings a couple of times and then stops.
“Ok, so totally ignoring me.” After that he settles for a quick message Hey, are you good? and enters the training room.
The call was heard and the message was received. But Megumi didn't want to pick his phone up. He knew he was being dramatic and unreasonable and that there was probably no reason to worry, but just the thought of being abandoned made him sick.
He couldn't handle it again. He was too weak for it. Too unworthy.
But I can't let this affect my work and training.
So after debating with himself for the whole morning, he finally got up and decided to show up. To see Gojo and face his disappointed look. Or maybe he would completely ignore him if he shows up.
Doesn't matter. I deserve it.
He felt sick with every step he took. How can he be so demanding? Why can't he love like a normal person? He should be happy that Gojo is devoting his time to someone else. That he is letting him live and breathe on his own. Isn't that what he always wanted? A bit of freedom and to be treated like an adult. Like someone who is equal to Gojo.
Well, apparently he is still too attached for that.
Unnaturally and disgustingly attached.
How could Gojo deal with me?
In no time, distracted by his thoughts, he slided the doors of the training room.
"Fushiguro! You came! You feeling better?" Yuji shouted from the sides.
"Yeah, sorry for not coming earlier."
When he heard no other sound, he immediately searched for Gojo's piercing gaze. And when he found his eyes digging holes in him, his heart sank. There was no greeting, no witty comebacks and no smile from his teacher. Only a look that could not be properly read.
Probably disappointed.
With a loud clap, he exclaimed. "Right. Let's continue."
"Megumi." Gojo-sensei's voice stopped him from exiting the room.
"Yes?" He asked quietly.
The way Gojo was calm was unnerving to Megumi. "Are you really good?"
"Yeah, I was just a bit sick." Megumi knew that his answers were normal and his voice was calm, as usual, so no need to panic.
Still, Gojo looked at him like he was a suspect in a crime. "Right, just checking." The next words he said very caringly, like Megumi doesn't deserve. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
If only you knew how disgusting I am, you wouldn't say this. "Of course. See you around."
And with even more guilt, he walked back to his room.
A week passed, and Gojo was starting to get really worried. Had he done something? Had he said something? Was this just another phase in Megumi's life?
He didn't know any of that, but he knew that Megumi was avoiding him.
The whole week. Didn't even open his texts.
He debated if he should let him come by himself or if he should confront him about it. But, in the end, Megumi is very stubborn, so there's no way he would talk if something was bothering him.
So, there he is, in front of his son's door with nothing prepared to say.
Well, here goes nothing. And he knocks.
On the other side of the door, the young boy is sitting at his desk, writing a report with headphones over his ears. Nevertheless, he hears the knocking. And he even knows who it is. Two fast knocks, a pause then the third one. Satoru always knocks like that.
On other days, Megumi is sure his sensei would just barge in without hearing Megumi’s invitation, but he has definitely noticed how Megumi is avoiding him and how he’s being distant with him.
In the end, there is nothing Megumi can properly hide from him.
Even though he was trying to give Gojo some needed space and trying to make it seem natural, it somehow felt wrong.
He got up from his chair and reluctantly opened the door. Two diamond eyes greeted him and Megumi suddenly felt exposed.
“Can I come in?” He asked.
Stepping aside, Megumi let him in his room and swallowed hard, anticipating a very stressful conversation.
Gojo sat on the bed, and with hesitance, Megumi would say, started. “So, you’ve been avoiding me.” He stated the fact. “Why?”
Holding onto the last threads of his lie, Megumi answered. “No, we just haven’t had the chance to hang out that much. I had a lot of missions this week.”
“No, you haven’t. I checked it with Ichiji.” The answer was immediate.
This stain is definitely new. Megumi thought as he observed his very interesting floor.
Gojo slowly stood up and lightly tapped Megumi’s shoulder. “Hey, look at me.” And Megumi did. And Megumi realized he was ashamed to look into his eyes. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”
The way his voice softened almost made Megumi cry, but no way he was doing that in front of someone. Even if that someone was Satoru.
He gazed at his water bottle on the table. “Really, it’s nothing. I just thought I’d give you more time with Itadori.”
And Gojo had the nerve to actually look confused now. “With Yuji? But we have plenty of time to train?”
“Yeah, but you like hanging out with Itadori and all that. And I mean, of course you would. He’s fun. And kind. And y’know, a really nice person overall. And it’s good he’s getting support because of that whole Sukuna situation and all. So I’m giving you, uh, space. Y’know, so I don’t bother.” Megumi was at this point just a babbling mess, trying to find the right words and failing miserably. His face was burning and he kept looking all over his room. Anywhere but Gojo’s eyes.
Satoru seemed taken aback for a moment by this new information and took his time to process it. Very carefully, he put his hand on Megumi’s shoulder. “Megumi, you’re never a bother. You know I love hanging out with you, right?”
He was so careful and Megumi felt so bad.
“Yeah, right. But still, I know I can be a bit hard to deal with sometimes, so Itadori is a good replacement, right? So, y’know, you don’t have to worry about me.” A tight lipped smile crossed his face for fake confidence. “I’m good, really.”
As if confused, Gojo blinked a few times. “Are you jealous of Yuji?”
“What, no, of course not.” He says a bit too quickly and suddenly, everything is clear to Gojo.
His gaze, if it’s possible, softens even more and his voice doesn’t even feel real. “Oh my dear Megumi. You are my son and, even if you don’t want to call me dad, I could never replace you. You are the most important person in my life.”
His other hand grabbed Megumi’s right shoulder so he was now holding him steady.
“You three are my students and I care about you all very much. If something happened to either of you, I would probably go insane. But, Megumi, you aren’t just my student. You are also my son. You are the one person that I can’t lose no matter what and the one person I will always love unconditionally.”
The tear on Megumi’s cheek was gently wiped away by Gojo’s hand.
“But how could you love me? I came into your life when you were still in your teen years, how couldn’t I be a bother? And even now, when I’m supposed to be all grown up and independent, I’m still seeking your attention. How could you not be repulsed?”
Megumi’s voice began shaking with his yelling. His jaw hurt and his eyes were itchy. At this point, tears were streaming down his face. So much for not crying in front of him.
“I’m not even that strong. Or fun to be around. I’m absolutely using you and your good will to protect me when I can do it myself. I’m not worthy of your love.”
When he noticed his shaking, Gojo immediately sat them on the bed. He wrapped his arms tight around the boy and started threading his fingers through the black hair. Until Megumi calmed down, he didn’t stop.
After a couple of minutes, he finally spoke. “I’ll admit, when you and your sister first came into my life, I thought it was a bother. Finding a house, taking care of you and having to work. It scared the hell out of me and I felt completely lost and alone. But, after a while, I realized that I wasn’t alone at all. The horrendous chore of having to cook something edible was replaced with a fun thing to do with Tsumiki’s help. The boring dishes turned into an interesting discussion with you about animals. The laundry, which was my least favorite chore, became a productive way to sing our favorite songs.” His lips turned upward at the memory.
“At that point in life, I was at my worst. I was debating life and death, and I had no one. And then, you two came. And everything finally made sense. For the first time in my life, I felt a stability and comfort that only a family could bring. That’s what you two were. That’s what you are, Megumi. My beautiful blessing.”
Megumi looked at him with wide and red eyes like he was gazing at a god.
Gojo continued. “And just like you Megumi, I don’t want to let you go. Even though I know you can protect yourself, I want to always be able to protect you. Even when you become more powerful than me. I sometimes catch myself thinking, Am I annoying Megumi?, Have I grown too attached to him?, Should I leave him be for a while? and it makes me incredibly sad. But I guess we were thinking the same thing.” He chuckles lightly, which leaves Megumi with a lighter heart.
“I’m not leaving you, Megumi. You’re stuck with me.”
Megumi abruptly gets a flashback from years back in some cold park. A light smile flickers across his face and he tightly hugs Satoru. “Forever.” And he whispers: “Dad.”
A broad smile appears on Satoru’s face. “Did you just call me dad?” He yells with a new spark in his eyes.
Thank god, Megumi is hiding in Satoru’s chest so he cannot see the dimpled smile on his face. “You must have heard it wrong.”