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Mina loved her vending machine job. It paid a little better than most student jobs, and even though she couldn’t do her homework on the clock, she could plug in her headphones and sling chips mindlessly for twenty hours a week. She hummed quietly to herself as she clocked in. Most people hated having to clock in and out, but at this point, it was part of her ritual. The machine beeped softly as she finished inputting her information.
As she waddled through the warehouse, she picked up her fanny pack containing her van keys, and signing them out. She gave a small smile to the person overseeing the sign-out process and walked out. There was always a faint smell of flowers in this part of the building since it was connected to the campus floral shop. How they decided to put a vending warehouse by a flower shop, she could never wrap her head around. Mina waved to the floral girls, who were always dressed like they had escaped the set of “Midsommar.” Mina’s uniform was simply a dark blue t-shirt with the school logo and “Vending” written on it, paired with whatever pants she happened to wear that day. She didn’t even have to look that nice, it just had to be functional.
The routine aspect of this job was everything to her. After Mina clocked in and grabbed her fanny pack, she would use a dolly to pick up the pallet of stacked storage tubs filled with candy bars and chips from the back, then the crates of sandwiches and cold items from the cooler at the front. Mondays were always harder days because Mina was essentially taking the machines from empty to full. And man, was it satisfying to her, slotting in every bag, every bar, every pouch. She loved the crinkle the bags of chips made as she delicately pushed them into the coils, squeezing the tops and gently running her hands over the row to make sure the bags looked perfect in the machine. Seeing the machine when she was done was the ultimate serotonin boost. Some buildings had several machines, so there was another boost from finishing the building, followed by the completion of her route.
She wheeled her pallet out to the loading dock, grunting as she hopped down to bring her van around. She liked showing up a little early to avoid the traffic bubble of everyone loading their vans at the same time. She also liked to take her time with the process. Most people might think it was a little creepy that Mina drove in a white windowless van filled with candy, but the freedom of running a route by herself was something she needed. No one to watch her as she belted Taylor Swift on her way to the engineering building, or if she happened to hit the curb trying to parallel park. Driving on the sidewalks was another thing she loved to do, although she hated getting caught ten minutes before the hour since everyone was running to class. They had a joke at the warehouse that they wished the world would turn into “Grand Theft Auto” during those times, but no one would dare act on it. Her co-workers were also really chill so covering shifts had never been a problem. Chaeyoung and Dahyun were her favorites, both of them having a funny dynamic that kept the office light. There was also Tzuyu, who was the secretary at the vending office. She had spent months watching Tzuyu pine after Chaeyoung, and there was a sense of relief when the two had finally started dating. It had been painful to watch but Mina liked the two as a couple.
“Hey Tzu, anything crazy today?” Mina asked quietly as she stepped into the office, grabbing her walkie-talkie from the cabinet.
“Well, Chae forgot it was our four-month anniv-” Tzuyu started saying while Dahyun laughed in the corner.
“Baby, please, October and September feel the same to me!” Chaeyoung whined as she went over to hug Tzuyu, pouting as she looked at the taller girl.
“That doesn’t even make sense, bro,” Dahyun laughed, hitting Chaeyoung.
Mina giggled quietly to herself, some of these interactions being the highlight of her day. She spent most of the shift with her headphones plugged in, volume on high, ignoring people being her next favorite part of the job. She did her best to help customers out with the machines, but she was grateful she didn’t have the key that unlocked all the machines, otherwise, she would have had to talk to so many more people. She would much rather be in her thoughts, curating the ultimate playlist for a circumstance that might never happen, or crafting a plan to help her roommate Jeongyeon ask out Jihyo, her crush of several months.
Since she worked on a college campus, things were constantly changing. Students moved out of dorms, changed schedules, graduated. She appreciated that her route was the same. This was her safe zone. Mina turned to leave when she heard Tzuyu’s voice call her back.
“Oh, Mina! The new business building is finally done, so they’ve added a couple machines to your route,” Tzuyu smiled.
Mina grimaced. This did not seem to be a promising start to the semester, considering the rest of her route was perfectly planned. She spent 28 minutes at the beginning of the day getting ready for her shift. Each machine took her 17 minutes on Mondays, and 11 minutes every other day. The drive to each building was exactly 4 minutes based on the route she had painstakingly tested for three months over the summer. She had worked with her manager to keep this route, especially since this left her with plenty of time to help out Chaeyoung or Dahyun if they were falling behind, which she enjoyed. This new building threw a wrench in everything, and she did not appreciate the sudden change.
“It’ll be alright, Mina, it’s only four minutes from the last building you usually do, but there are three machines in there,” Dahyun spoke quickly, walking over to rub Mina’s shoulders as if she were warming her up for a wrestling match. Mina should’ve noticed the extra bins on her pallet, but she had been too focused on getting things in order.
“Ok, thanks y’all. I’ll catch you later?” Mina sighed heavily, actively trying to relax her shoulders. Everyone in the office gave an affirming smile as she walked to her van. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad?
--
It was bad. So far Mina had already had to open three machines for some freshman who had gotten their food stuck, and she was a whole twenty-one minutes behind. She had finally made it to the business building, which was beautiful in a very modern way. The building had a gray exterior but was somehow mostly windows. This was where their tuition was going? She shook her head. Mina hated business majors, they didn’t deserve things like this. She was currently wheeling four crates of food and two storage bins on a dolly, apples teetering on the cusp of rolling down the hill.
With how crazy today had turned, she had switched to a calming playlist, heavily featuring Adele and Olivia Rodrigo. Why was there a fountain in this building? It was absolutely ridiculous. The building had an open floor plan and ironically, a glass ceiling. The railings on each floor had flags of other countries, probably to emphasize the idea that business was some kind of universal language. The humanities major in her laughed. She looked around at the business casual attire most of the building had on and then looked back at the t-shirt and black shorts she was wearing. She felt a little self-conscious, but clearly she was there to do a job.
Mina kept one hand on the dolly and another on the top of the crates to balance them, which was an adjustment considering the stack was a couple feet taller than her. She really couldn’t see in front of her, which usually was ok, but since she didn’t know where she was headed, it felt rather precarious. She followed the signs toward the break room, walking down various hallways. She looked to her left to make sure she could clear the doorway but paused when she saw the receptionist in front of an office area.
This girl was definitely a student, but she looked SO smart. It might’ve been the glasses, but there was an air of intelligence around her, not in a snobby way, but maybe she was if she was currently in the business building. She had long blonde hair and her glasses had a thin black rim. She was wearing a white suit set (bold!) that looked like the gods had tailored it for her body. The sleeves were the perfect length, hugging her waist, and she wasn’t usually a fan of flare pants, but this girl was making them work for her. Her heels were red and looked much too expensive for a college student. The girl hadn’t paid much attention to her, but when the girl sat down in her chair, she looked over at Mina with a questioning look, causing her to snap out of her stare. The bins shook a little as her eyes pivoted back to her job, even if her attention didn’t follow. She tightened her grip on the bins as she picked up the pace, wondering if time had frozen for everyone else for what felt like hours. The receptionist’s mouth moved, but Mina’s headphones were in so she just nodded and kept walking, hoping her cheeks had not shifted to a shade that would emphasize her current emotions.
Mina started unlocking the machine in the break room and pulled the cash out, checking the change dispenser. They were new machines, but that made it even more important that they started with enough change. She thought about the receptionist- what was her major? Where was she living? Where was she from? How old was she? Mina mulled over all the possibilities, ultimately hoping that she was single.
Each machine was completely empty, which wasn’t a surprise to Mina. She hauled the bins down so they wouldn’t fall on a stray student, chuckling as she remembered that had happened to Chaeyoung once. Luckily, those bins were empty. She grabbed the twenty snickers bars and started slotting them into the coil, making sure they were all facing the same way. What was the girl’s favorite candy? Perhaps someone like her wouldn’t be interested in sugar. Mina didn’t understand it, but there were people like that. Maybe as a business major, this girl would only eat European chocolate. The thought had Mina chuckling to herself.
Before she knew it, she had finished the three machines in the break room, and her potential life plan with the receptionist. She packed up her things and walked out, hoping, praying that she would see the receptionist on her way out. She had already forgotten some of her features, the main thing she currently remembered being her cheeks. The day had already had a rough start, and it seems the universe wasn’t going to let up today. She sighed as she walked by the empty desk. A sparkle hit her eye as she stopped walking to investigate the gold placard on the desk. Im Nayeon . Mina smiled to herself as she left the building.
—
Since this was a new building, the current schedule was set for Mina to visit every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The machine had barely gotten any action, so she didn’t really understand why she needed to go so often. The business majors were probably looking for something organic instead, but ultimately she didn’t mind. Today was her second day at this building, and she was thirty-two minutes earlier than she was Monday. Her music today had been fairly R&B heavy, indicative of a fair mood for Mina. She hoped her speed hadn’t caused her to miss Nayeon. As she walked into the building, she was met with a different girl at the receptionist's desk. She was cute, but she wasn’t Nayeon. Mina’s shoulders fell as she continued walking into the break room. The stack of bins she was wheeling in weren’t as high as Monday, but they were still blocking her line of sight. She started moving the boxes in front of the machines when her eyes landed on a blonde girl in a white blouse, navy blazer, and matching pencil skirt. A small smile tugged at her lips.
Nayeon was eating her lunch, a tuna salad sandwich (from the vending machine!) with some carrots and chips she had packed, along with a Snickers bar. It was a bold choice to eat a tuna fish sandwich in a room like this. It definitely was apparent to the other students in the room, but no one seemed to pay her any mind. The business building had their own water cooler and clear glass cups, which made Mina question why they were even filling the drink machines with water bottles. Everyone had their own cup of water or water bottle, and she wasn’t sure what the system was, if they brought their own cups or if someone was in charge of washing them, but either way she hated it. She started filling her first machine, but her heart stopped as she looked in her peripherals. Nevermind, she loved the glass cups. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Nayeon’s long slender fingers wrap around the glass. She seemed to move in slow motion as she brought the glass towards her lips, which had a touch of pink to them, probably from some lip gloss. The condensation on the glass didn’t seem to bother her as the ice clinked around, and cold water met her lips. As Nayeon tilted her head back and closed her eyes, Mina held her breath as she watched the girl’s throat move with every swallow. Mina’s throat had gone dry and her hands were clammy. She desperately needed a drink.
As she shuffled around each machine, slowly filling it while simultaneously observing the girl and pausing every time she drank more water, Mina learned more about her. For instance, there were at least four other people in the room, but this girl picked up a phone call and talked loudly about her roommate Momo’s drama, laughing obnoxiously despite the glares shot her way. Nayeon’s laugh was something Mina wanted on loop in her mind. She also learned she wasn’t from around here, that she would be going home by plane during fall break. The new MacBook she pulled out probably meant she came from money, and based on the work she was doing, she was most likely knocking out all her general education credits. This girl had also said hi to at least five different people who had come and gone from this room. Having that many acquaintances would exhaust Mina, but this girl seemed ok with it. Mina had been a little grumpy when a student had interrupted her research to ask if she could retrieve a snack that was stuck, but had smiled through the interaction in case Nayeon was watching. When she looked back over after she was done, Nayeon had AirPods in, so she probably didn’t hear any of it.
As Mina wrapped up her last machine, she tried to think of something she could say to Nayeon. Something that was nice and inviting, but didn’t seem like Mina had spent the last half hour studying her and trying to craft the perfect conversation opener. Should she comment on her appearance? That felt shallow. But she didn’t know enough about her mind to speak to that. Commenting on her boldness in regards to the sandwich or the phone call could feel like a passive-aggressive dig. Mina sighed as she finished her last machine and ultimately had nothing. As she started stacking the bins, she noticed that in all her thinking, Nayeon had left the room. Of course this would happen, the universe was not one to be kind to Mina. She wheeled her bins out and as she looked over at the receptionist desk, she locked eyes with a certain blonde girl and was met with a bunny tooth grin. Her heart felt like it was going to fall out of her chest, and her head felt a little dizzy. It took everything in Mina to return a small smile, bumping the desk slightly as she turned the corner. She heard Nayeon laugh (which she loved already) but blushed when she realized she had clipped the desk. She tried to hide her embarrassment until she made it back to the van, where she could yell as she drove back to the warehouse. She wasn’t sure if it was happy or stressed, maybe it was both, but she was feeling okay.
--
“So, it’s Wednesday,” Dahyun said, wiggling her eyebrows as she gently brushed her shoulder against Mina’s.
“And?” Mina sighed, trying to play down her nerves.
“And you have the business building today,” Chaeyoung replied, mimicking Dahyun and bumping into the other side of Mina.
“I shouldn’t have told y’all about her,” Mina giggled as she teased the girls. Nayeon had been in the break room Friday, and Mina had tried to say something, but instead made eye contact with the girl for what felt like years, but was most likely seconds. On Monday, several of the frozen machines had overheated and melted over the weekend, so she had helped her manager clean them up. Unfortunately, that had put her behind, and by the time she got to the business building, Nayeon was busy working at her desk.
“You like it, don’t lie!” Dahyun yelled as she squatted down and wrapped herself around Mina’s legs.
“It’s nice to hear you gush though, I just wish you’d actually do something,” Tzuyu said as she responded to an email on the computer. Mina blushed as Chaeyoung and Dahyun laughed.
“You have a plan today, right?” Chaeyoung laughed as she went over and leaned on Tzuyu.
“I... I think so. She’s got some stickers on her computer I could ask her about. Or if she bought something from the vending machine, I can talk to her about that. Or maybe I can tell her she’s cute?” Mina stuttered as she shook her head. How was she supposed to get any words out?
“Hey, it’ll be ok,” Dahyun said as she stood up and patted Mina’s back. “Just be your cute little self and it’ll all work out.”
“She’s HOT though, you don’t even know,” Mina replied, softly exhaling to try and relieve the stress she felt inside.
“Oh, we know. We stalked her Instagram already. She’s definitely hot, but she also seems nice ,” Chaeyoung said, confusion in her last word as she pulled out her phone.
“You guys stalked her and didn’t tell me?!?” Mina yelled in the office. Why hadn’t she thought to do that?
“You didn’t stalk her already?” Tzuyu asked, genuine curiosity in her voice.
“I just didn’t think to...” Mina trailed off as she started scrolling on Chaeyoung’s phone. She was beautiful. And well traveled. Most of her pictures were selfies in the various places she had traveled, bunny teeth popping out, laugh almost audible from the pictures. The most recent caption was “The secret to talking is listening,” which Mina recognized immediately. Most of her captions were quotes from books, which Mina found incredibly attractive. Chaeyoung snatched her phone back.
“Hey! I was looking at that!” Mina yelled, trying to grab the phone back.
“You can look another time, but if you don’t start your route soon, you’re going to miss her,” Dahyun said in a sing-song voice. She was right.
“Good luck today! I know you can do it!” Tzuyu said with a smile, trying her best to reassure the girl.
Mina popped in her headphones and got ready to start on her route. Today was the perfect day for her soft crush playlist, which contained songs about the beginnings of relationships. The butterflies, the casual glances, the lingering touches. She bopped around the warehouse, making sure she had everything she needed.
Truthfully, she hadn’t been in a relationship in awhile. Her last relationship had ended rather poorly, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to enter another one. But with Nayeon, she almost wanted to try. She had never had this much trouble talking to a girl before, which might have been surprising except that with Mina’s gentle demeanor, girls had always approached her so all she had to do was maintain the conversation. Nayeon seemed to be waiting for Mina to make the first move, so she needed to think of a solid first line, that is, if she was even interested.
She breezed through her route, lost in her thoughts and her playlist. Would she like a cheesy pick up line? Probably not, Mina hated those anyways. She knew a lot about vending machines, but most people didn’t care, so she would stay away from that topic. Small talk would probably be fine. The “where are you from” and “what are you studying” would be a nice easy way to start the conversation, at least. Mina hated small talk, but she was willing to use this as a way to open the door for more conversations later.
As she pulled into the business building parking lot, she took a deep breath.
“Ok Mina, you’ve got this. You are cute and smart, and she is going to like you. What’s not to like? You’re going to say the right things and she is going to want to keep talking. It’s going to be fine! It’s going to be great! Ok!!” Mina said into the mirror and pointed to herself in the mirror in her car. She stacked the bins and made her way to the break room, quietly praying that things would go well, but also secretly hoping maybe she wouldn’t be there so she could continue rehearsing what to say. Her breathing was very shallow and uneven as she kept going.
When she walked into the room, she was met with a girl yelling at the machine and pounding on the glass. Something was probably stuck. The sound was jarring as Mina set her stuff to the side and went to grab her keys. Suddenly, she heard the girl go quiet. There was a shift in the room, in a way that made Mina feel unsettled. Mina turned around and saw that the girl was trying to shake the machine, and her eyes went wide.
“STOP ARE YOU CRAZY!!!” Mina yelled as she ran over to stop the girl from shaking the machine. She moved the girl to the side with her body, adrenaline pumping through her veins as she quickly scanned to see which snack it was. She grabbed the Snickers out of the machine and handed it to the girl without making eye contact, quickly turning back to reset the machine.
“You really shouldn’t do that, you know more people die from vending machines falling on them than shark attacks?” Mina said softly as she closed the door of the machine, heart still racing as she contemplated the level of delusion this girl must live in to shake a machine like that.
“I didn’t know that, actually. Thanks for grabbing that...” It felt like the blood in her body stopped moving, and her hair was on end. Mina froze, she knew that voice. The inflections, the small giggle at the end. It was Nayeon. And she hadn’t finished her sentence, which meant that she was waiting for her name. Did she even know her own name in this moment? Her mouth was so dry, why did it feel like she had tried to eat a sleeve of saltines? She couldn’t craft a thought, and there was almost no way she would be able to vocalize it at this point. She turned and locked eyes with Nayeon, her breathing essentially stopping.
Nayeon had a dark plaid headband that matched her pleated skirt. She was wearing a simple blouse today, but her dark green cardigan pulled the outfit together. Mina had seen this earlier, but was only processing it now since she had needed to stop this girl from being crushed under a vending machine. Right now, she was too lost in her eyes. They were dark brown like hers, but they held something that Mina couldn’t put her finger on.
“I guess you don’t have to tell me, but I would like to thank you by name, eventually,” Nayeon said, smiling before she sat down at the table. Mina gulped.
“It’s Mina,” she said quietly, silently turning down her music.
“Thank you, Mina , for possibly saving my life even? Whether it was death by vending machine, or hunger,” Nayeon replied, laughing. How could a stranger’s laugh fill the room in a way that would normally be obnoxious, but somehow Mina felt the sound enter her heart and relax the fibers of her body.
“I know Snickers advertises that they help with hanger, but you should probably eat more than that,” Mina said while turning to look at Nayeon, who had started giggling. Her smile made Mina’s knees weak, she couldn’t help it. They made eye contact and Mina could tell her cheeks were heating up a little, so she turned back to her bins. As she started grabbing the sandwiches, she noticed one of the corners was torn slightly, which meant she would have to mark it as a damage in her handheld. It usually bothered her when this happened, but today this tuna sandwich was going to work to her advantage. She took a deep breath.
“Here,” Mina said as she walked the sandwich over and placed it in front of Nayeon. “This should help better than the candy bar.”
“Oh, I can’t take this-” Nayeon started to say before she was cut off by Mina.
“The corner is a little torn so I can’t put it in the machine, anyways. And I remember you ate one of these the other day-” The words were out before Mina could catch them. Her eyes went wide as she looked over at Nayeon, who had a small smirk and an eyebrow raised. She had definitely caught that. As they held each other’s gaze, Mina waited for the teasing to come, but it never did.
“Well, Mina, I really do owe you then. I forgot my lunch today and I used all the money I had today for that Snickers bar. So first, for fishing the Snickers bar out, and second, for the free sandwich.” Nayeon was still smirking, but Mina was surprised she hadn’t mentioned the fact that she remembered she had had a tuna sandwich the other day.
“All in a day’s work,” Mina replied with a small smile. She could’ve sworn she saw a tinge of pink rise to Nayeon’s cheeks, but she turned before she could confirm it. All the lines she had practiced felt out of place now. She had no idea what to say, so she just kept thinking quietly as she filled the machine.
“So, what are you studying?” Nayeon asked, leaning forward in her chair towards Mina. She was relieved Nayeon had said something, because she was about to ask for her name again. Although, had she even told her?
“I’m a double major, architecture and sociology,” Mina replied quickly, mind quickly trying to remember if at any point she had a reason to know Nayeon’s name.
“Both, huh? Why?” Nayeon asked, mouth chewing as she went for another bite of sandwich.
“Shelter and human connection are both foundational to human life, so I wanted to be able to build several things to bring people together,” Mina said casually, not turning away from the machine this time. She loved the science behind buildings and the science behind people. She wasn’t sure how she was going to combine them, but she hoped she could figure it out. She wondered if her answer was kind of corny, but it was truly how she felt.
“That’s pretty deep. I’m studying mechanical engineering, but that’s only to help me standout on med school apps,” Nayeon said nonchalantly.
“You aren’t a business major?” Mina said quickly, shocked.
“Ah, don’t let the business clothes fool you. This ass looks like it belongs in this skirt, but it’ll be in scrubs. I’m just here because it pays really well and I can do my homework on the clock.” Nayeon finished her sandwich, crumpling the wrapper and attempting to throw it across the room into the trash. She missed.
“Yeah, you’re definitely not here on an athletic scholarship,” Mina giggled, earning a scowl from the other girl as she walked across the room to pick up the trash.
“There are other sports besides basketball, you know,” Nayeon huffed as she sat back down, patting down her skirt.
“Tell me, what sport is it that you do?” Mina smirked as she grabbed several bags of chips.
“...musical theater,” Nayeon mumbled quietly, arms folded. Mina let out a hearty laugh. “Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. But what were you doing in high school, field hockey or something?”
“Golf, actually,” Mina said. What she didn’t mention was that she had actually been playing since she was five, and was a prodigy of sorts. So much so that she had competed professionally, and carried several national titles.
“That’s... pretty gay. Like if you had said softball, it would’ve been just as obvious. But now I know you’re gay AND rich. Am I right?” Nayeon’s eyes sparkled as she leaned her chin on her hand, anxiously anticipating Mina’s response.
“Well, you’re half right,” Mina shrugged.
“Ah, so you’re rich, huh,” Nayeon looked pensive, leaning back in her chair.
“Nope,” Mina said as she finished her last machine. She was enjoying the banter with Nayeon, although she had just unintentionally come out to this girl, when she didn’t even know if the other girl was also into women. She really hoped so.
“A fellow queer, I see,” Nayeon nodded slowly. Question answered. Mina internally felt like jumping on top of the table and dancing. This was great news.
“You too, huh?” Mina smiled as she stacked the bins and started getting ready to leave.
“What can I say, I like to play for both teams. Probably also why I’m bad at sports,” Nayeon answered. Mina couldn’t help but laugh, even though she thought the joke was a little dumb.
Mina wasn’t ready to leave, but she knew she had to. She had heard over the radio that Chaeyoung had spilled several drinks, but she figured Dahyun could handle it. They were definitely behind, and could probably use her help.
“I guess I’ll see you around then?” Nayeon asked. Mina couldn’t read her very well, but she was almost certain there was a level of shyness that had just come out of the bunny girl’s mouth.
“I sure hope so. I mean, I have to come here and service the machines every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And if I’m not here I might be sick or they fired me, and both are bad-” Mina started rambling quickly, earning a soft smile from Nayeon.
“I’ll see you around, Mina. My name’s Nayeon, by the way,” Nayeon grinned, standing up and walking out to her desk. That skirt really did fit her extremely well. How does a girl like that not just end up modeling or something?
“ Mina, we really need you over here, PLEASE.” Chaeyoung’s voice could be heard over the radio, along with faint screams that were most likely Dahyun. She held down the button on the side.
“I’m on my way, just let me know where you’re at.” Mina was feeling good. She had just had a great foundational conversation with Nayeon, and they were now on a first name basis. She wasn’t entirely sure what kind of mess awaited her at Chaeyoung’s building, but nothing could ruin her mood now.
--
Mina was in a terrible mood Monday. She had done poorly on one of her papers, and now she was running behind on her route because several machines had overheated AND they had closed off the main road she usually took. Another reason, which she was quick to ignore, was that this meant Nayeon would be working instead of sitting in the breakroom and talking to her. She turned down her music like she normally did and started working on the machine in the business building. She had come to really enjoy Nayeon’s presence. While loud, Mina appreciated the way she would come in and talk about anything and everything. They still hadn’t cracked anything surface level, but they were having fun, at least she thought so. She just wanted to get in and get out, hopefully without having to deal with any more incidents. Surprisingly, the first two machines were a breeze. She was in the home stretch.
“You’re running late today, huh?” Mina heard a voice from behind and immediately knew who it was. Her heart rate sped up a little.
“Yeah, I’m really annoyed,” Mina huffed as she started grabbing chips and hastily shoving them into the slots, not in her typical careful manner.
“Tell me about it,” Nayeon said calmly as she leaned up against the machine. Mina could tell she was wearing something black today, but she couldn’t tear her eyes from Nayeon’s lips. She must have started using a new shade of lipstick, because this one made her lips POP. She wondered what it would feel like on her neck.
“Shouldn’t you be working, madam secretary?” Mina teased, smiling when she heard the other girl laugh.
“They won’t miss me in the eight minutes it takes you to finish this,” Nayeon smirked.
“Nah, I don’t want to bother you,” Mina shrugged, retracting a little.
“You’re not a bother,” Nayeon said smiling sweetly, melting the last of Mina’s resolve.
“Well, I got my paper back from my sociology of education class and he gave me an 82? I busted my ass doing research on the socioeconomic impact of school districting and he gave me that score?”
“You stayed up all night doing that too, right?”
“Yes! And then today I got THREE extra calls today about broken frozen machines. What are the odds they all break in one day? We just fixed two of them so really it shouldn’t have happened. I’m going to talk to Gary about it because this is literally his fault.”
“Ugh, yeah, Gary is the worst,” Nayeon mumbled, pretending like she knew who that was and started nodding along vigorously.
“Also they closed the main road to the university and I HATE going the other way. It makes no sense, everything is out of order, and suddenly I’m late! And my boss isn’t going to be upset but I AM!” Mina yelled. She was shaking her hands in the air, candy bars threatening to slip out.
“It definitely made my life harder, too. I’m sorry, Mina,” Nayeon said softly. Mina looked over in time to see Nayeon extending her arm to pat her on the shoulder. It felt like the world had stopped spinning as her hand moved closer, and suddenly there was contact. Nayeon’s hand was a lot warmer than she had expected, and her fingertips gently tickled her shoulder through the fabric. It was a light touch, but it was as if lightning had gone straight from Nayeon’s hands into Mina’s heart.
“Thanks, Nayeon,” Mina smiled shyly, placing the final candy bars into the machine. Nayeon pulled her hand back.
“Anytime, vending girl,” Nayeon smiled back. Mina closed the machine and started stacking her bins to leave. She noticed one was missing, and looked over to see Nayeon carrying it.
“You can put that up here,” Mina gestured as she walked over to take it from the other girl.
“I could but you’re never able to see over the bins and I might as well help you since you’re running behind,” Nayeon shrugged as she started walking. Mina knew the girl’s mind couldn’t be changed. She started wheeling her bins when she heard Nayeon squeal.
“That’s my toe!” Nayeon yelled out as she took a pause to lean up against the wall and check on her toe, that Mina had just run over with her dolly.
“Oh my god are you ok? I’m so sorry!” Mina exclaimed as she ran around her bins and went on her knees in front of Nayeon. “I don’t see any blood but if it keeps hurting, I think you should go to the doctor.”
“Really?” Nayeon chuckled. “I’ve had worse incidents running into the wall.”
“Why did you yell like that then?” Mina scowled, getting up and slapping the other girl’s arm.
“I’m dramatic, haven’t you learned that by now?” Nayeon laughed, picking up the bin and walking on as if nothing happened. Mina let out another sigh. She grabbed her dolly and started moving again, careful to avoid any cute secretary’s toes.
Mina was finally able to catch up with Nayeon at the van. For someone who had screamed so loudly in pain, she was surprised she was still able to walk so quickly, in heels, too. It really wasn’t fair that somehow she was even more beautiful in the sunlight.
“You really shouldn’t leave your van unlocked,” Nayeon snickered, loading the bin into the back of the van. Mina knew she definitely didn’t want it there, but she kept her mouth shut. It was the end of the day, it didn’t really matter.
“Why, because girls like you are going to break in and steal all the snacks?” Mina replied as she loaded the rest of the bins into the back, following Nayeon’s pattern.
“I just might if the driver looks like you. I’ll see you later, Mina,” Nayeon said quickly before walking away. Mina’s jaw was on the floor. She just got a compliment right? Was that flirting? Mina felt a grin creep onto her face. Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all.
--
It went on for a couple weeks like this, Mina sticking to her schedule as best she could, Nayeon always finding reasons to come in to the break room if she wasn’t already there. Mina even started pulling her headphones out so she could hear Nayeon better.
“So, you got any plans for fall break?” Nayeon asked as she snacked on the expired treats Mina had brought her. There was an Uncrustable and a bag of chips on the table, along with several chocolate milk bottles.
“I’ll be around, my family is coming out here for once. You?” Mina asked as she started her machine.
“I’m going home, which is going to suck because I can’t stand being home for too long,” Nayeon sighed.
“Wait, if you’re leaving, who’s going to run this building?” Mina asked sarcastically, earning a laugh from the other girl.
“Why are you even stocking snacks if people are going to be gone?”
“Business students haunt these halls, even during the holidays. Capitalism stops for no one, Nayeon.”
“Then the real question is, when do the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future show up?”
“Well, assuming there isn’t a ghost union, they might just have to work the holidays. If they’re lucky, they get time and a half. I doubt it, considering the capitalist overlords of the ghost world are probably rather cruel.”
“Mina, how do you think up these things?” Nayeon said, laughing while locking eyes with the other girl.
“It’s my vending superpower. Every building I walk into, I slowly leech the knowledge from it and grow stronger.”
“Is that why you know nothing about engineering then?”
“Well if I knew a lot about it, who’s to say you’d be here right now? You hate engineers, don’t you?” Mina challenged.
“Fair, no one else is going into med school, they all want to build bridges and stuff. And they just won’t stop talking about infrastructure.”
“Infrastructure is so sexy to me, my ideal foreplay is just discussion around urban planning.”
“Oh, so sidewalks and public transit are what do it for you?” Nayeon smirked.
“What can I say, I’m all about getting railed,” Mina shrugged. If she had looked, she would’ve seen Nayeon’s face go crimson. “Or at least, using the rail to get to my destination.”
“Well, Mina, I hope you have a great holiday. May the rail lords ever be in your favor,” Nayeon replied with a laugh as she left.
This is what it was like these days. They could continue this banter consistently, sprinkling in some flirtatious energy even though neither of them would confront it directly. Sparks were flying everywhere, but Mina wasn’t going to be the one to say something. Not when she had been so clear with her intentions this whole time (in her opinion), and Nayeon was the confusing one. And now she had a week without her to think. About Nayeon. About what was going on. About the future.
Mina enjoyed the conversation, but she had also heard Nayeon talk like this with almost everyone. She was rather popular, whether it was on social media (they were following each other now) or in person. Every other person that walked into the building knew her, and flirted with her. Mina scoffed at the lines she heard people use on Nayeon, and rolled her eyes when she heard Nayeon’s fake laugh in response. Mina had even seen several people ask her out, although she never said yes.
These were all reasons why she was waiting for Nayeon to make the first move. One, because who’s to say if she was interested? And two, maybe she was dating someone right now, and three, maybe Mina wasn’t willing to risk the rejection.
In the time that she had known Nayeon, she knew a surprising amount of things about her. She knew her dog Kookeu was the light of her life (and her lock screen), and that her favorite color was baby blue. She knew that even though Nayeon was excited to go to medical school and work in family medicine, her true passion was actually cooking. And even though she truly couldn’t be home for more than a week without a fight breaking out, she loved her family deeply and would do anything for them. All of these things made Mina like her more and more, but with her current feelings, she wasn’t sure this was a great idea.
She still lightly stocked the vending machines while everyone was on break. Most of the job was just removing expired items and restocking what was needed. The crates she had were adjusted for the season, luckily, so these were the few days a year when she would be able to see over the top of the bins. Unfortunately, every visit to the business building where she didn’t see Nayeon was making it harder for her to feel certain of where she stood with the other girl. The self doubt was rising, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Mina had been in many situations like this before. She would get to know a girl, things would seem to be going well, but then Mina would try and move in a romantic direction, and the girl would not feel the same. It always hurt a little bit (a lotta bit), leaving Mina feeling reserved and unwilling to open herself up to this risk, especially with how much she knew she liked Nayeon. She wanted to deny it, she wanted to push it away. She hated that she had memorized Nayeon’s laugh, that she knew the blonde girl’s tongue would slip out when she was in deep focus. She didn’t want to know that she preferred chocolate to skim milk, despite her lactose intolerance, or that she hummed to herself when she was in a good mood.
Mina knew she was happy, but she also did not love acknowledging how critical Nayeon currently was to her happiness. At this moment, it felt like she was tethered to Nayeon, but she was a buoy in a chaotic ocean. Even just seeing her in the building made her day, and she was so happy, her playlist had changed to bubble gum pop and songs about being in love. Her heart rose and sank based on her interactions with Nayeon, and the loss of control over her own emotions made her feel like throwing up.
Also, Nayeon was gorgeous. The way the light reflected in her hair where ever she went, creating a halo following her around. The outfits she wore had everyone’s jaw dropping to the ground, and the way she carried herself was akin to royalty. Every time she walked into the building, it was like she owned the place. She had only ever seen Mina in a t-shirt and shorts, and not even a nice t-shirt. She always looked a little grungy, which is not to say she looked bad, but her work uniform wasn’t her typical look and Nayeon had never seen her in anything else. How could someone as beautiful as Nayeon be into her?
Mina sighed as she thought to herself. Maybe she was hurting her own feelings, but she was fairly certain she had several good points. Everyone loved Nayeon. She had yet to see one person get annoyed with her, even with the more abrasive parts of her personality. Nayeon had yelled at someone about a group project, and that person still looked ready to lovingly melt under Nayeon’s gaze afterwards. She was pretty, she was genuine, she was smart and personable. She had so many friends and suitors, and then there was Mina. Nayeon was probably just being nice to her since she felt bad for her, talking to her because she didn’t have anything else to do. This made Mina sad, but she also understood it. She appreciated the kindness from Nayeon, but she would rather know the truth (as she saw it) than continue to live in this fantasy she had created, where this girl did like her back. Time to reign back in her own feelings, and return to reality.
On the last day of fall break, Mina decided she would be walking away from Nayeon, as it was better for both of them. This was the noble thing to do, in her mind. Nayeon wouldn’t have to feel bad anymore, and Mina wouldn’t have to feel awkward about the impending rejection. If she started at this building, it wouldn’t throw off her route too much, and she was almost guaranteed to not run into Nayeon since she knew that girl wasn’t a morning person. It’s true that maybe she was running from her own feelings, but this felt like the most reasonable way to deal with what was happening. If she hurt her own feelings, at least there was a semblance of control, that she could see what was coming and prepare for it before the other girl could hurt her.
—
“Mina, are you ok?” Dahyun snapped her fingers in front of Mina’s face, bringing her back to reality. It was the first week back from fall break, and Mina had held to her new schedule fairly well.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Mina responded calmly. She knew she was sad, but she didn’t need them to know. They also didn’t need to know the reason why.
“Does it have anything to do with you changing the order of your buildings and a certain blonde girl?” Tzuyu asked, not looking away from her screen as the girls in the office looked at her.
“How… do you know about that?” Mina asked, shock in her voice.
“I see your print outs, they tell me what order you went in. You are extremely consistent, so when it moved around, even I thought it was jarring,” Tzuyu replied nonchalantly.
“Damn Tzu, the attention to detail is INSANE,” Chaeyoung cheered, going to high five the other girl, who reluctantly returned it. It was definitely something Chaeyoung and Dahyun did often, and Tzuyu occasionally was involved. You high five your bros, not your girlfriend, she would say. But ultimately, she loved every inch of that girl and had a hard time denying her anything.
“I told you guys, I don’t think she likes me back, this is just making it easier,” Mina shrugged. She had thought a lot about this, almost every day. She felt fairly certain this was the best mode of action, but she did miss Nayeon. How could she miss someone she barely knew so much? Her heart kept reminding her of the moments that made her heart race, where she had felt more alive than she had in awhile.
“You know, we’ve been learning about this in my psych class, it’s called self-sabotage,” Dahyun said with a smirk.
“No, it’s not. I’m just protecting myself AND her-“ Mina started to say.
“By convincing yourself this is a bad idea so you can hurt your own feelings first before she hurts you since that’ll be worse,” Dahyun finished, earning a glare from Mina and applause from Chaeyoung.
“Don’t you want to give yourself the chance for happiness?” Chaeyoung asked, curiosity apparent.
“I do, but what if I get hurt,” Mina finished her sentence quietly, as if uttering the words too loud would make it true. Tzuyu turned around in her chair and grabbed Mina’s hands.
“Mina, every relationship comes with the risk of getting hurt. You just have to think about whether or not it’s worth it to you, right? Clearly this has been painful to you as it is, and the truth is, it’s not fair to either of you. Even if she doesn’t like you, you still deserve to have the clarity of the truth from her. And even worse, if she does like you, then ultimately you’ve decided to kill the possibility of happiness for both of you.”
“You’re saying correct things, but I’m still not sure, Tzu,” Mina sighed. She knew what Tzuyu was saying was true, but she also wasn’t sure she was prepared to change her mind about this. Maybe next week.
“Nothing safe is worth the drive, Mina. You’ve gotta let go of control a little,” Chaeyoung said as she walked over and gave Mina a hug.
“I’ll think about it. I’m not changing the order today though,” Mina replied.
“That’s ok, just think about it. We know you’ve been sad, but I hope you’ll figure it out. We support you no matter what,” Tzuyu said with a smile.
“Thanks, you guys,” Mina said warmly before turning around and leaving the office.
—
She liked coming to the business building in the morning because it was significantly less crowded than in the afternoon. There was also the absence of a certain girl, but Mina didn’t want to dwell on that too much. She knew Tzuyu was right, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to open herself up to that hurt again. Maybe the timing was off, and if it had been a couple months later, she would’ve been ready. She sighed as she walked into the empty building, wheeling the bins in slowly. Part of her had really hoped that somehow, Nayeon would know she would be here now, and she would show up and tell her she liked her and that she couldn’t stop thinking about her. The other part was content with not seeing her, and hoped that maybe Nayeon had forgotten about her. She nodded to the other secretary that was there in the mornings, and went into the break room.
The room was empty as Mina put in her headphones and started playing a playlist that featured songs with strong yearning undertones. She started on her first machine and for the first time in awhile, allowed her mind to wander to Nayeon. She wondered how her break was, how it had gone since she would be spending a solid chunk of time with her family. She wondered how her classes were going, if she was enjoying them. She thought about if she had been eating well, since she tended to be forgetful with either her food or money, sometimes both. Thinking about this made her sad, because she really wanted to just ask the girl how she had been and get the answers to these questions. More than that, she wanted to be the person who cared about these things, and ultimately cared for Nayeon. She sighed as she skipped a song that was yearnful, but possibly too happy for this moment. She moved on to the second machine.
“So, you’ve been avoiding me?” She would know that voice anywhere. Mina looked down in silence.
“You’re not even going to say hi to me? Did I do something wrong?” Nayeon was now right next to Mina, eyes pleading as she looked at her. Mina was shocked to see her, but even moreso the depth of sadness in the other girl’s eyes.
“No, you didn’t,” Mina replied, breaking eye contact and continuing with the machine.
“Then what is it? Can you please tell me because it’s been killing me,” Nayeon stood firm in place as she talked. She leaned up against the machine to try and make better eye contact, but to no avail. This was the moment, she either needed to come clean or lie. She didn’t feel great about lying but it would be so difficult to tell the truth. Mina finally put the candy bars down and turned to Nayeon.
“Deep breath, ok. Nayeon, I like you. I’ve liked you since I first saw you sitting at that desk, and I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” Nayeon stood there, looking shocked. It was what Mina had expected, but she wasn’t sure if she was reading her accurately. She continued. “But I also know that you don’t like me back, and that’s ok, but that’s why I haven’t been here. I moved my schedule around so you wouldn’t have to see me anymore.”
“Do you not want to see me anymore?” Nayeon asked, eyes a little cloudier than usual.
“No, I mean, if it were up to me I’d see you every day, but I don’t think that’s what you want.”
“And how are you so sure of what I want?” Nayeon challenged.
“You can have your pick of every single person on this campus, why would it be me?” Mina looked down and laughed softly to herself, masking the pain behind those words.
The air felt thick as silence rested between them. Mina was hoping Nayeon would say anything, even to verify the things she said, just something to break the tension in the room. She quickly finished the machine since this was definitely going to set her behind, and moved on to the last machine.
“Mina, you’re so dumb,” Nayeon said, arms folded. Mina turned around with a raised eyebrow.
“Excuse me?” Mina said as she stepped away from the vending machine and back in front of Nayeon.
“You know, it’s funny. The other receptionist is my best friend and she has the worst luck with vending machines. Every time Sana tries to buy something, it always gets stuck,” Nayeon started.
“Where is this going,” Mina mumbled, earning a glare from Nayeon.
“I watched you watch me drink water that second day, and I tried to time it for when you’d take a break from filling your machine.”
Nayeon paused, trying to see if Mina understood where this was going. She did not.
“I’m sorry I laughed at you when you clipped my table but you were so cute and I couldn’t figure out how to talk to you since you always have your headphones in.”
Mina nodded. She remembered that day, and she remembered being extremely embarrassed and yelling in her car after.
“I had to pay Sana $5 to buy that snickers bar for me right before you came, because I needed it to get stuck. Of course it got stuck because she’s so unlucky, and I stood there and waited for you to notice me. I even started yelling because I wasn’t sure you could hear me.”
The vending machine shaking incident. Her friend must be really unlucky to always have her food stuck in the machine, but why did that matter to Nayeon?
“I wanted a reason to talk to you. And luckily, everything worked out as planned. I started getting up early so I could get here and do my homework before my shift started, so we could be here at the same time.”
Oh.
“I’ve been trying so hard to talk to you and get to know you. I love when you talk about vending machines, and how precise about time you are. I think it’s weird you like ketchup so much, and it’s endearing that you’re a little clumsy.”
“What are you saying?” The gears were turning in Mina’s head as she tried to make sense of what words were coming out of Nayeon’s mouth, who had one particularly large vein on her forehead that looked ready to blow at any moment.
Nayeon reached out with both hands and grabbed Mina’s face.
“I like you, Mina. I like you so much that I’ve been scheming for WEEKS, and I went home for vacation and brought you back a little train from my city since we talked about public transit one time. Does this make sense?”
“Uh well I mean I understand what you’re saying but I’m not really sure it makes sense-“ Mina started saying as she scratched her head.
“I haven’t seen you all week and I missed seeing you, so I had Sana tell me when you’ve been showing up. And that’s why I’m here right now,” Nayeon huffed, eyes seeking any glimpse of understanding in the other girl’s eyes.
Mina was so confused. She was so certain Nayeon didn’t like her back based on everything that she had figured out over the break, but here she was saying all the right things, telling her that she liked her back. This wasn’t part of her plan and honestly her mind was on the fritz. What are the odds that someone likes you back when you like them? The odds had always seemed astronomically low to Mina, but here she was.
“So, you like me?” Mina smiled a little.
“I do, and more importantly, I like you back ,” Nayeon smiled.
Mina looked down with a goofy grin on her face. Somehow the stars had aligned and the universe had finally given her what she wanted, which in this case was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.
“Nice,” Mina whispered to herself.
“So, where we gonna go?” Nayeon said as she smirked at Mina.
“Are you telling me to plan this first date you’re asking me on?” Mina replied playfully with one eyebrow raised.
“I mean, it feels right, doesn’t it?” Nayeon had an eyebrow raised as she smirked, and while Mina had a weakness for arrogant women, she wouldn’t back down this time.
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Nayeon,” Mina said, eyes challenging the other girl.
“Clearly I’m the femme one here-“ Nayeon started before being cut off by Mina.
“That’s so heteronormative of you!” Mina yelled as she threw her hands in the air.
“I forgot you’re a sociology major. Let me make it up to you by taking you out then,” Nayeon said with a triumphant smile.
“Oh, ok, I see what you did there,” Mina smiled. She started wrapping up her last machine and Nayeon had started stacking the bins, in the order that she usually would, which made Mina blush. She had been paying close attention. Nayeon walked with Mina out to the van and started helping her load the bins into the back.
“So, where do you want to go?” Nayeon asked as Mina closed the door to the trunk.
“I think you know,” Mina smirked as she leaned against the van. She was finally able to get a good look at Nayeon, who had actually shown up in a comfy sweater and no make up, not her normal soul crushing business look.
“Somewhere fancy with a night of dancing then, Nayeon teased, watching Mina’s body tense up at the mention of these options. “I’m just kidding, I’ll pick you up for a picnic and we can go to the aquarium. I’ll pack extra ketchup.”
Mina was still in shock that Nayeon reciprocated her feelings, and she felt a touch of pink on her face as she realized she would be going on a date with her. Maybe change wasn’t so bad after all. She would never hear the end of this from Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu but she was ok with that. She was happy.
