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“Yuta.” Jaehyun tries to put on the sternest voice he can as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes and lectures his husband from the entry into the kitchen.
Yuta looks back up from the mixing bowl he’s so intently working at, filled with fluffy white meringue and his own hopes and dreams being beaten into the side of the bowl. “Hey,” he says, then goes back to mixing and mixing. It’s 8 in the morning. Too much stress for 8 in the morning.
“I thought you’d let me help you.”
“You wouldn’t wake up.” His shoulder length black hair is tied back and out of his face. Powdered sugar dusts the sleeves of his black jumper, the front of his sweatpants, his hands. Wow.
“C’mere,” Jaehyun says simply, and Yuta snaps out of what seems like a trance and drops the mixer into the bowl before padding over to Jaehyun and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Good morning, Yu.” Taking a step back, Jaehyun embraces him back, and honestly: score… He didn’t think it’d be that easy to get Yuta to step away from his current mission: making the centerpiece for their daughter, Hana’s, birthday. “Don’t you think we should relax a bit? It’s so early, jagi.”
“Hana wanted macarons,” Yuta mutters, tone so flat it's a little scary. “I'm giving her macarons if it kills me.”
“It seems like it will,” Jaehyun mumbles under his breath, kissing the top of Yuta’s head. “Well, good morning.”
“Morning.” Yuta lifts his head from Jaehyun’s chest and purses his lips for Jaehyun to kiss them—which he does, softly, slowly, smiling into it as Yuta is so obviously vying for his affection. Smoothing down Yuta’s flyaways, Jaehyun surveys his face—slightly flushed pink cheeks; bright as ever eyes; a drying pale green crust swiped across his chin, which Jaehyun presumes is some of the batter laying in the bowl on the counter next to them; and those pretty long eyelashes, batting like a butterfly’s wings.
Using a saliva-wettened thumb to wipe off the batter, Jaehyun mumbles, “Something must be wrong.”
“Gross,” Yuta says, but he’s laughing, “Nothing’s wrong,” he says, but Jaehyun can tell that he’s lying.
“You're all over me first thing in the morning. I haven't even brushed my teeth.”
“I can be all over you more mornings if you're into that.” Yuta smirks up at him, looking through his eyelashes—Jaehyun almost falls for the bait before shaking his head. “But you'll have to brush your teeth before I do anything special for you.”
Jaehyun smiles, “Don’t change the subject.”
Sighing, Yuta’s face drops, shoulders sagging and sad energy radiating off his body. “The macarons aren't working and it’s stressing me out.”
This endeavor started just a month ago—one night on Facetime with Papa, Hana said she wanted macarons, “like the ones when we went on vacation,” the ones they had last year on their trip to Paris—suffice it to say that the Nakamoto-Jeong children are spoiled, but at least they’re sweet. She wanted them, “bright green, like neo,” and that’s what really did it in, Yuta attaching onto that request like glue.
Of course Yuta would latch onto that after he’d been gone two months already at that point, on set for his first Western film, even missed Jaehyun and Haru’s birthdays, but filming concluded just in time (ahem, 2 days) before Hana’s birthday—so not much time to prepare, and he was never a baker in the first place. But he’s trying, and Jaehyun appreciates that in a way Yuta just can’t accept.
“Not working?” Wrapping an arm around Yuta’s waist, Jaehyun turns them both toward the messy counter. “We can fix that, baby.” Jaehyun kisses Yuta’s cheek before starting towards the mess, powdered sugar, almond flour, and suspicious liquids everywhere surrounding the assortment of bowls in the middle.
“Can we?” The tone in his voice shoots an arrow through Jaehyun’s chest. Heartbreaking. Not really, but he's exerted so much effort already in the blur of the lead up to Hana’s birthday that adding this on top of the pile just feels like a cruel prank. “Look.” The batter looks deflated. Like a sad, extremely thin cement sludge that someone poured a can of neon green paint in.
“I don't think Hana will care if the macarons are perfect.”
“I care.”
“I know you do. But she’s 5 and small and doesn’t know the difference. I don’t think we’ve even let her have cupcakes for her entire life, she won't even know.”
“That’s why the first time she tries it has to be special, Jae!”
“True.” Pausing, Jaehyun weighs the options popping up in his mind—suggest making some bribes to get some bright green macarons and risk Yuta’s fatherly wrath, or keep going. “It says here you have to fold the dry ingredients in. Did you fold?”
Yuta’s eyebrows furrow looking at the sheet covered in oil and egg whites and whatever else. He looks back up at Jaehyun and says flatly, “I folded. I did everything. It was perfect.”
“I’m proud of you, but why did you go for such a difficult recipe if you've never baked this before, hm?” Jaehyun kisses the side of Yuta’s neck, and Yuta shakes his head, sighing. “You like being such an overachiever?” Distraction is Jaehyun’s tactic now.
“You wanna know the answer to that, jagi?” Yuta clears his throat, and his voice lowers. “Think we’ll get a little off task if I do let you know.” The tactic is working! But if they get too off task, either of the kids will wake up and walk in, and that’s mortifying, knowing from experience.
“You can let me know later. Keep stirring.”
“I’d rather not.” He keeps mixing anyway, and Jaehyun smiles to himself. So determined. “I want it to be special. So I did macarons even though they're a hard recipe, and they're not the main dessert and ughhhjsfhkdfjfa.” Yuta lets out a huge, quick breath. “I'm so stressed, Jae.”
“I can help you. Not even that, I’ll do half of it.”
“You already made the rest of the food. And planned the party. And decorated the backyard.”
“I went a little overboard, didn't I?”
“Completely one upped me, jagi. I can't even be mad at you ‘cause I know she’ll love it.” Yuta’s little ponytail brushes past Jaehyun’s nose as he turns to look outside through the French doors. There’s a bouncy castle with unicorns on it, the tablecloth has dinosaurs all over it, who knows how many balloons are everywhere. Everywhere. Jaehyun’s been on the phone with balloon companies for weeks. He has no idea how they do it.
The gifts are still hidden away in the closet under the stairs, but there's a place to put them near the fence with a sign that says, “Hana’s Bounty,” and it’ll be abundant by the end of today. They’ll need a bulldozer to take away all the wrapping.
It’s a costume party, too, and bugging the parents in the RSVP that “yes, it’s a costume party, please dress up in costume, it doesn’t matter what it is. And please don’t forget to dress up in costume! Haha!” was also stressful enough for Jaehyun to get through, but he got through it and that’s what matters.
These parties are like a Met Gala, to be honest, former and current SM artists, NCT members, fellow actors from Jaehyun’s movies and Yuta’s dramas alike—and their babies, and like, 50 empty stomachs waiting for a giant cupcake cake and macarons and what have you in honor of a lovely little lady’s 5th birthday. They’re like a pack of rabid, hungry little baby hummingbirds waiting for sugar. So much for the uber healthy meals Jaehyun wanted his children to grow up eating.
Now that Jaehyun thinks about it, it makes a lot of sense why Yuta wants it all to be perfect, even though Hana is always positive and appreciative of…everything, really, their little ray of sunshine. He’s no stranger to perfectionism, especially with what he provides for their kids, but if he only had one chance to make it right—he’d be overwhelmed by it, too, and he’d want to do it himself, just to prove that he could.
“All she cares about is that you're here. All I care about is that you're here. We don't need anything else.”
Yuta scoffs, “What does Haru care about, then?”
“Food. He cares about food, so keep making these macarons and you'll make him super happy too.” Jaehyun kisses Yuta’s neck again. “You make us happy just by being you, Yuta. We’re so grateful you’re home, and you’re working so hard, and—”
“Shhh, Jae,” Yuta laughs out, shaking his head again. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m ridiculous and I’m right.”
“Yeah, sure, sure. Keep going.”
Jaehyun would whisper a bunch of sweet nothings to Yuta if he could, but an “Appa,” hits his ears, and they both look over to see Haru, yawning before he’s able to finish his sentence, “What’s Daddy doing?”
“Helloooo,” Jaehyun drags out as he leaves Yuta and comes over and picks Haru up, tossing him around in his arms to the sweet sound of his laughter. “Give Dad a kiss, Haru.” Haru smacks a big wet kiss on Yuta’s cheek, tiny arms wrapping around his neck as Yuta laughs.
“I’m making macarons, Haru,” Yuta says in Japanese, pinching his son’s cheek, then kissing it. Jaehyun’s heart is filled with adoration at the moment, excuse him before he starts crying.
Haru comes back to Jaehyun, his little hands in his face as he says, “Too green, Daddy,” and both Jaehyun and Yuta say, “Too green???” Is there such thing as too green? What kind of world do we live in? Jaehyun turns to the batter and surmises—his 3-year-old son is probably right. It’s burning his eyes
“Mm. I think I agree with Haru, Yu.”
“Too green?” Yuta frowns. “She wanted neon.”
“She won't get any macarons if you keep making them neo.”
Yuta sighs and picks up the bottle of food coloring he was using. “Maybe.” He turns the label towards Jaehyun, which Jaehyun squints at because he doesn’t have contacts in or glasses on, and then he turns it back to himself to read. “It’s liquid, I’m so dumb.”
“Why?”
“If you put too much liquid in the batter, it’ll be too runny.” Ohhhh. That makes sense. “Time to start another batch.”
“I’m hungry, Appa,” Haru says, hugging Jaehyun’s neck as they watch Yuta get another bowl and begin again.
Jaehyun kisses Haru’s cheeks (he definitely got his cheeks from Appa), then sets him down on the ground. The little one has to train his neck all the way up to look up at Jaehyun, and Jaehyun ruffles his hair and asks, “Why don’t you get ready for breakfast, Roo?” Haru nods, and Jaehyun adds, “Do you wanna feed Koneko? I think she’s waiting for her food.”
“Yes, yes.”
Right on time, Koneko’s little Calico paws come padding in—she makes a beeline to her favorite and second tiniest member of the household and weaves between his legs as he’s opening the container with the cat food in it on the bottom shelf. Haru gets everything ready, then the cabinet drawers open and shut as he busies himself getting his placemat, bowl, silverware, coaster, etc. Studious, just like his appas.
That takes a bit of time, having to navigate through such a large kitchen as such a tiny human, but he does it successfully, sitting down at the breakfast nook next to the window with his neat setup and a dimpled smile on his face. Jaehyun grabs all the food he needs, and asks, “Cheerios, Haru-chan?” like Haru-chan has a choice, and Haru giggles out a “yes” and wiggles in his seat. His current (and only) favorite breakfast food in this lovely, lovely phase of picky eating, and Jaehyun hears the amusement in Yuta’s voice when he laughs from behind them.
“Haru-chan,” Yuta calls out as he’s measuring out more sugar. “What do you think about a banana today?”
Jaehyun gauges Haru’s concerned frown and figures—not going to happen right now. They’ll try again later, he decides as he pours the cereal and milk in the Pompompurin printed bowl and lets Haru get started. He comes back around behind Yuta, arms around the waist again and mumbles, “Anything I can help with?”
“What can you do for me?”
“Stand. Talk,” Jaehyun pauses and thinks about what Yuta needs at the moment. “Vent.”
“What do you think about having another one of those?” Yuta gestures vaguely towards a little man’s direction, and smiles down at the bowl. Jaehyun tries to look him in the eyes, but no dice. Haru is currently slurping up a spoon of Cheerios that Jaehyun knows will be too much for him, but he looks happy nonetheless, so no one’s going to stop him. Another one of. Him? Don’t threaten Jaehyun with a good time.
“Another one of what?” Jaehyun asks, resting his chin on Yuta’s shoulder, acting dumb.
“Jae.”
“Yu.”
“Don't make me say it.”
“Hmm, you want another cat?” Koneko is crunching her food on the ground. “Maybe another bowl for Roo-chan?” Haru is already drinking the sugary milk from his cereal. “It means you'll have to make three batches of baked shit that you'll stress over every year, Yu.”
“What’s more stress?” Yuta shrugs as he folds in the new meringue into his now pastel green macaron mix. “I want another baby. Look how cute he is, Jae.” Haru has a little milk mustache. Certainly, he’s not helping his Appa’s case to not give him a sibling. “I want another little baby that looks like you.”
“We can talk about it when it’s not Hana’s birthday.” Jaehyun shakes his head, grinning in his head but giving a soft smile in real life. “And by the way, I think the baby will be cuter when it looks like you, Yu.”
“When? It’s decided then.” Turning around with the bowl, Yuta raises his eyebrows and beams. “New baby.”
“We can talk about it later tonight, jagi.”
“We already talked about it, didn't we?”
Jaehyun laughs out, “You’re so stubborn.”
—
“They look like little green poops,” Yuta sighs.
Jaehyun stands right beside him and looks down at the now fully cooked macarons, two batches of them. They’re the perfect size, the sides look like what real macarons look like—it’s just that they all have a dollop on top from the kind of piping tip Yuta used to put the batter on the sheet, but it’s really not a big deal. The color is pretty, nothing overbaked, Yuta did an amazing job. “Yuta,” Jaehyun says softly. “Stop being so hard on yourself. They look so great.”
“Ughjhjdfhjnjsdjs,” Yuta says, turning around to hug Jaehyun. “Thanks, I guess.”
“You’re so sincere.”
“I know, r—”
A loud gasp sounds to the side, and there’s the birthday girl herself, Hana, and Jaehyun smiles at her, but Yuta whines, “Noo, Hana, you’re not supposed to see them yet.”
“But Daddy,” she says as he comes and picks her up. “I wanna see, I wanna see.” Hana points at the counter and smiles, two front teeth missing and braids bouncing—”Macarons!”
“Dad made them just for you, Hana-chan,” Yuta says as he rounds the corner, making nervous eye contact with Jaehyun, but Jaehyun just nods. It’s impossible for her not to love them. “Hana—”
“They’re so pretty, daddy.” She leans forward, Yuta having to adjust so she doesn’t fall face first into the counter, and she touches her finger on a delicate macaron shell. “This one looks like a cloud, wow, Appa, look.”
Jaehyun comes closer, looking intrigued and remarks, “That’s so cool, Hana, what do we say to daddy? For making such pretty macarons?”
It seems Hana gets ahead of herself when she asks, “Daddy, can I try? They look so good.” Both of her dads laugh and Jaehyun says, “I don't think that’s what I meant.”
“Oh, oh. Thank you.” She hugs her little arms around Yuta’s neck and what can only be described as an expression of relief comes over his face. “I love it.”
“They’re not even decorated yet, Hana-chan,” he says softly, brushing her hair out of her face. “So they’ll be even better later.”
“Eeeeee,” she sounds so excited it makes Jaehyun’s heart melt. “I’m so excited.”
Yuta sighs happily as he puts her down. “Okay, get Haru and you both can get one cookie each, okay?”
“And Appa, too? And you?” Hana asks excitedly, big brown eyes shining up at her dad.
“Of course. For all of us.”
She runs off, hair swinging, feet hitting the floor so hard Jaehyun wonders if it hurts, and Jaehyun turns to Yuta. “See? Perfect, Yuyu, she said it herself.”
He takes Yuta’s hand, brings him over, and hugs him, looking down at his face while he’s at it.
“Give me a kiss as a reward. I deserve it.”
“You do.” So he lowers down, cupping Yuta’s jaw, and presses a soft kiss to his lips. He tastes like vanilla, and even then, that’s not the sweetest thing about him in Jaehyun’s eyes. “I love you.”