Chapter Text
you asked me to dance, but i said dancing is a dangerous game
Katara was met with the sweet scent of fire lilies as she entered the ballroom. The palace staff had really outdone themselves tonight. Bouquets of fire lilies adorned the walls, the beauty of their blood red color accentuated by the soft twinkling, fire light from the thousands of candles throughout the room. Massively long tables of food lined the walls with many patrons already making small talk as they gathered their plates. Servers scurried around the room with trays of rice wine, one that Katara recognized and stopped to give her a glass. She smiled at him.
“Thank you Eren. Everyone has really outdone themselves this evening.”
“Thank you, Master Katara. Everyone was very excited since this is the first traditional courting ball the palace has seen since General Iroh.” he replied.
“I’m looking forward to experiencing another fire nation tradition.”
“We all are Master Katara, we're especially excited to see the woman Fire Lord Zuko fancies.” he said with a knowing smile, “I unfortunately must be on my way now, but please find me if you need anything else.”
“Thank you again Eren, and tell your wife I said hello.”
“Of course, Master Katara.”
Eren was one of her favorite servers she frequently saw around the palace. He was always fascinated by the way she could turn drinks cold and she was happy to share that skill with the palace staff in the constantly stifling heat. Plus, she always felt she got along better with the most of the servers than the council.
“Woman Fire Lord Zuko fancies” replayed in her head and she felt her heart constrict.
She remembered the surprise and dread she felt when first hearing word of this ball a few weeks ago. She knew Zuko was being pressured by the Fire Sages to find a wife but they had been doing that for years. She even remembered reading about it in their letters well before she moved to the palace to be the ambassador for the south. She supposed this was their way of forcing the issue and to get Zuko closer to finally making a decision. She just thought she would have more time to work through her own feelings about Zuko before he finally had to find a wife.
Ever since she come to the palace her feelings for him had only deepened. When she moved her she had planned to see if maybe her feelings were misguided. Maybe she was in love with the idea of the person behind the kind words sent to her in letters. But as soon as he had wrapped her in his arms on the day of her arrival she knew. Her feelings were as deep as the ocean that had separated them. She had tried to ignore them for the sake of their friendship and the world, but without success. Every tender look from his honey eyes, every brief touch of his hand, every tilted smile sent her pulse racing and left her lightheaded.
She had grappled with the idea of telling him. Confessing her feelings, consequences be damned. She thought about telling him tonight. With all the excitement about love filling the palace she could easily blame her confession on riding those feelings if he didn't return her affections.
She would just have to find the nerve to do that. She took another swig of wine.
Katara began to move through the room, although with the crowd here, she could barely walk around without bumping into anyone. It seemed it wasn’t only the servants who were excited to be present at a courting ball. She was looking around for some council members she wanted to speak to about an upcoming health policy change when Iroh found her instead.
“Master Katara, you look as lovely as ever. I can’t help but notice how the fire nation has further become a part of your fashion choices?” Katara blushed. She knew she could count on Iroh to spot the red she had added to her gown. While she typically wore dresses more in the fire nation style, given the sweltering heat, they were still in water tribe blue. This was the first time she had leaned into fire nation red. And she would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little excited for Zuko to see it. Especially given the reaction he had when she first started wearing fire nation style clothes. She smirked at the memory of his slack jaw and his awkward stumbling afterwards.
Her dress tonight was an airy, gauze like fabric that started in deep navy at the bodice, gradually transitioning into purple and then was deep red at the bottom. The bodice hugged her curves tightly with an a-line skirt that started to flare at her waist.
“Thank you Iroh. I thought since we are working so hard to bring peace between the nations I could show it in my fashion choices as well.”
“A wonderful and judicious decision.”
“So I hear the last courting ball was for you Iroh, everyone seems thrilled to finally attend another one.”
“Oh yes, mine was a joyous affair as I was fortunate enough to meet my lovely wife there.” Katara smiled, “I am certainly hopeful my nephew will share the same good fortune,” he glanced up at her with a glint in his eyes “although it is quite possible he may have already met her.”
Katara choked on the sip of wine she was taking.
“Who are you-”
Suddenly music began to play and the entire crowd fell silent. At the head of the room the fire sages came out one by one and lined up. There was a large space between them and the crowd, which Katara assumed would become the dance floor.
“Welcome, honored guests, to this delightful occasion. We have not been honored with a ball such as this since that of General Iroh's. This gathering is meant for those, young and old, to have the opportunity to become acquainted with one another. It is a wonderful time to greet many faces and possibly find the person whom you would like to court. With that we would like to introduce the most eligible man of the evening, Fire Lord Zuko and who will start us off with a dance.” Clapping erupted from the audience and she watched as many women began fluffing their skirts and tucking back fly-away hairs.
She saw him emerge from the shadows behind the fire sages. He was dressed in his formal attire but without the cape and shoulder pads allowing him to appear more approachable and less like the formidable Fire Lord he did at council meetings. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He stood tall and proud, looking every ounce the regal man he was.
Her stomach twisted and her palms began to sweat. Surely it would be important the first person he chose to dance with? She imagined it would look best to start with a noble. Or possibly a middle class woman to show everyone would be given a chance? There was a brief flutter in her chest as she thought maybe he would dance with her first. She shot a quick prayer up to Yue that he might venture his way towards her. She watched as he looked around the room, his golden eyes searching. He remained calm and steady in his exploration with every eye trained on him, but she caught when his arm twitched, presumably wanting to scratch the back of his neck like he often did when he was nervous.
He finally spotted her, because she was so obvious in blue or because he always knew how to find her she didn’t know. He gave her a small tilted smile and she felt her heart begin to race as he walked towards her. She knew the moment he noticed the red in her dress as his eyes slightly widened as did his smile.
“Master Katara,” he reached out his hand to her sending lightening up her arm, “Can I have this dance?” She smiled and turned to Iroh whose hand was already reaching out to take her glass.
“Thank you General.” She turned back to Zuko and held out her hand. “It would be my honor, Fire Lord Zuko.”
He took her hand and led her out to the middle of the room. He placed his hand on her waist and enveloped her hand in his as they began to move in time to the music.
“You’re wearing red.” he said and smiled wider. She saw a flash of hunger in his eyes at the same time she felt the hand on her waist grip tighter for a moment, shooting a jolt of heat through her.
“I thought since we have been working so long to bring our nations together it was time to show it in other ways.”
“It’s beautiful,” he breathed, “You’re beautiful.” His smile softened, his golden eyes turning molten from the sincerity shining through at the truth of his words. She felt blush rise to her cheeks and a pleasant warmth flooded through her. She gave him a small smile and thanked him. The intensity of his gaze continued to bore into her, she felt herself inching closer. He adjusted his hands as she moved closer to him, pulling her in. She wanted to -
Tui and La, these are not thoughts I can be having now.
She tore her gaze away. She needed to stop before she did something idiotic like kiss him with the entire room watching her.
Wait, the entire room was watching her.
“Um, Zuko, why is everyone just watching us? Should they not have joined in by now?”
He sighed and looked around, “That’s how the first dance of the courting ball is, I think it’s about showing me off or something.” he rolled his eyes. “It’s ridiculous.” Katara laughed.
“Oh yes, the Fire Lord really needs to show off.” He didn't laugh. She looked up at him and noticed with mention of the courting ball all the warmth from earlier was gone. His eyes were bleak and he had a small furrow in his brow that was only present when he was stressed.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. Zuko wouldn’t bring his gaze back to hers and didn’t answer. “You know you’re stuck out here on the dance floor with me, you might as well tell me before I do something to embarrass you.”
Zuko gave a small smile as he rolled his eyes but then sighed, “It’s this ball, this whole courting thing and how I’m supposed to meet my future wife tonight.”
“Tonight? That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself. You’re young, you have time, don’t rush something like this.”
“I don’t have time though, the Fire Sages have been patient with me for years and they’re not waiting any longer. They said I have a month from today to select someone to start courting or they’re going to select a wife for me.”
Hot anger flared through Katara. “What? That’s absolutely ridiculous, they can’t do that! They can’t make you-”
“Katara, please, I’ve already had this fight with them. Plus, they’re right. Previously Fire Lords were married much younger than I am now. I need an heir in case anything happens to me.”
“But you shouldn’t be forced to marry someone, Zuko. That’s such an archaic tradition, you deserve to be happy. You already give so much for the sake of peace and your country, you shouldn’t have to lose that as well.” She looked up at him and saw the pain lacing his eyes had quickly resolved to sorrow.
“My country deserves someone who can bring a stable and secure rule, Katara. It’s not just about my happiness, and they did give me much more leniency than they should have and I just… I just ran out of time.”
Katara tried to wrack her brain for a solution. This wasn’t fair, they couldn’t make Zuko marry someone for the sake of having an heir. There had been no recent attempts on his life. And wouldn’t it be better for a country to have a happy ruler than one simply doing everything out of duty?
Katara looked at him. It seemed like he had resigned himself to this fate. Marry for duty and, possibly, nothing more.
Katara felt a rock form in her stomach. She felt sadness take over her, in part for her friend being forced into this situation and in part for her as she was also out of time. She couldn't tell him tonight, not with everything else he had going on. She would just have to pretend her feelings didn’t exist as she watched him find someone else. She felt her limbs become heavy as the reality of what was happening set in. But as she looked back at Zuko, her own misery reflected in his eyes, she knew she couldn’t stand the thought of both of them being miserable. She could handle her own unhappiness but would not watch Zuko suffer any more of his.
An idea popped into her head, she would help. That’s what she was good at, finding solutions to problems. She could help Zuko find someone to be happy with, even if it wasn’t her. And who was she kidding, it wasn’t going to be her.
She felt her heart constrict at the thought of not getting the chance to tell him. To be with him. To even try. But that didn’t matter now. She lost her chance, she didn't act fast enough but she could still help him find the happiness he deserved. The happiness she wanted him to have.
She took a deep breath and said goodbye to what could have been.
“I’m not going to stand by and watch you pick some random person to share your life with, let me… let me help you find someone.” He whipped his head up and gave her a confused look.
“Katara, I appreciate that but I don’t even know where to start at this rate, it would probably turn out better if I just closed my eyes and pointed at someone random.” Katara glared at him.
“You will not be doing that. I’ll go around, and I’ll ask Iroh to help too, we'll go around and talk to different people and then come find you to point out those who you would get along with. I think I know you well enough to do that. Then you wouldn’t get overwhelmed and we could weed out a lot of people that are here for the wrong reasons.”
“I don’t know…”
“Please, Zuko, you deserve to be happy. I just want to help you find that, duty and all.” She squeezed his hand. He looked at her and sighed.
“Okay… I guess it couldn’t hurt.” She smiled. The song came to an end and they each bowed to one another. She shivered as she felt the cool air hit the places his hands had been. She didn’t want to go but knew she couldn’t stay for another dance without giving the wrong impression.
“Go talk to some nobles and I’ll find you soon.”
---------------------------------------------------
He nodded and watched her walk away. He didn’t want her to go either.