Chapter Text
You told me
Live as if you were to die tomorrow
Feel as if you were to be reborn now
Face as if you were to live forever
"My name is Cloud Stife. Former Shinra... infantryman, current AVALANCHE member. My friends and I defeated Sephiroth a month ago. After Meteorfall, we've been helping out the survivors." Cloud crossed his arms. "Is that good enough?"
"You forgot something. You grew up in Nibleheim, and your best friend is Tifa Lockhart," Tifa said.
Cloud rolled his eyes but smiled affectionately. "Yeah, that too. Do I really have to keep doing this, though?"
"I think he's got a pretty good grasp on himself, Tifa. He ain't gonna suddenly change into his old personality," Barret said.
"I know, I know, but since the meeting with the other AVALANCHE cell is coming up fast, I want us all to show our best selves, you know?"
"I'm fine," Cloud insisted. "If I ever start to feel like I'm losing myself again, I'll tell you. Besides, Sephiroth is dead. He can't influence my Jenova cells anymore. "
"It's just that we all went through a lot. Sometimes... I feel like a different person than that little girl who watched Nibleheim go up in flames."
Cloud turned his head away from Tifa and sighed.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up. But I know it's still affecting you, too."
"You don't have to treat me like a fragile child."
"Cloud..." Barret said. "Come on. She's just looking out for you."
"Yeah. I know." Cloud smiled softly.
Despite his smile, Cloud knew that there was something missing. He still didn't feel like a real person. There were too many gaps in his memory, too much of a disconnect between his feelings and how other people saw him.
He sat down on the bar stool next to Barret and said, "Get me a drink, will you, Tifa? Let's toast to our upcoming meeting."
Tifa nodded her head enthusiastically and poured all three of them a drink. "To AVALANCHE! And to us."
---
Cloud sat on the edge of the cliff and looked over the ruins of Midgar. A man he didn't know sat down next to him.
"Hey, Cloud," the man said. His bright blue eyes twinkled as he smiled.
"Do I know you?"
"Aww, you don't recognize me?" The man pouted. "That's okay. I never cared about being famous anyway."
"What do you care about?" Cloud asked. "Sometimes... I don't know anymore. Everything seems so hopeless."
"Remember your dreams. No matter what life throws at you, you have to hold on to them. Otherwise, what's the point of any of this? You have to make your own meaning."
"I dreamt of being a first class SOLDIER. Like General Sephiroth. And like you." Cloud winced. "I don't know why I said that. I don't even know who you are, but I feel..."
"Hey, Cloud, you okay?"
Cloud shook his head. "No, I'm not okay. I haven't been okay in five years. I've never been okay, really."
Cloud's migraine came back. The man in front of him faded in and out of existence. He put a hand on Cloud's shoulder, and Cloud couldn't even feel it. "You will be okay, eventually. I believe in you."
"But I don't believe in myself."
"Hey. Why don't I tell you a little secret?"
Cloud looked up at the man. "What is it?" he asked desperately.
"I can't tell you right now, silly. You know where to find me." The man's voice distorted as he said that last sentence, and Cloud saw a flash of silver hair before his vision went dark.
Cloud was choking and sweating. It was hot, so unbearably hot. He could barely see through the smoke, but in the distance he could make out the lights of the Shinra tower.
"Do you think I did this?" A voice that made Cloud's blood run cold said into his ear. Cloud whipped around and was confronted by cat-eyes and a sly smile. "You did this, Cloud. It's all your fault."
"No. You're wrong, I -"
"Just like he said, you know where to find me."
---
Cloud awoke and sat straight up, hands around his own neck, gasping for breath. His bed sheets were soaked in sweat. It took minutes for Cloud to calm down and convince himself that he was safe.
Sephiroth is alive. I have to find him, Cloud thought against his will. He could feel that all too familiar pull. It scared him, but he found himself walking downstairs before he could even think about what he was doing.
Barret and Marlene were curled up together asleep on the couch, with Barret's new prosthetic arm wrapped around her. Cloud smiled at them. This is what he had to protect. Maybe this could be his new purpose. His new dream. But first, he'd have to confront Sephiroth again.
"Tryin' to sneak out?" Barret's voice startled Cloud.
"I, uh..." Cloud couldn't come up with an excuse.
"I'm not your dad. I ain't gonna scold you. But I am going to ask what the hell you're doing tryin' to leave in the middle of the night."
"I'm not running away, if that's what you think. I'm committed to AVALANCHE. Committed to staying with you and Tifa. I just -" he balled his hands into fists. "Sephiroth is alive. I can feel it. I have to go find him."
"Cloud, what the hell are you talking about?"
"I had a dream. He called out to me. We... We have a connection. I can sense him. He's alive, Barret."
"Look... I know you can handle yourself. I'm not gonna try and stop you, and I can't go with you since I have to protect Marlene. She had a nightmare. I'm not gonna leave her. But at least take Tifa with you. You shouldn't underestimate Sephiroth, if he's really alive."
"You don't believe me?"
Barret sighed. "That's not what I'm saying."
Cloud felt like he was going hysterical. All he could think about was Sephiroth. "I'm not bringing Tifa with me. This is between me and him."
"Fine, I know I can't change your mind. Just... Call me if you need anything, 'kay? I'm not much use in a fight anymore," Barret said, raising his prosthetic arm, "but I'll be there for you any time."
"Thanks," Cloud nodded, and went outside to hop on his bike.
---
Cloud traveled into town to stock up on potions. Like Barret said, you could never underestimate Sephiroth.
Midgar had just begun to rebuild itself. Not many stores were open yet, and certainly not at this time of night. Maybe Cloud should have waited until morning, but that pull was too hard to ignore.
"Aaaaah!" a woman screamed in the distance. Cloud immediately pulled out his sword and ran to the source of the noise.
A woman with a braided ponytail was holding onto a concrete ledge. Cloud's heart stopped. Every time he saw a woman that somewhat resembled Aerith, he had to do a double take, despite knowing that she was gone. But he couldn't think about that right now. He had to save this girl.
He ran up to the ledge and said "Are you okay, miss?" He held his arms out. "You can let go. I'll catch you. I know it's awkward, but-"
With a plop, the woman fell into his arms. Cloud looked down at her face, and nearly dropped her. Holy shit. This woman was a dead ringer for Aerith. Everything about her, from her hair to her face, to her physique, to her style of clothing.
Cloud gently put her down, and she leaned in towards him. "Are you alright, mister? You look like you've seem a ghost!"
"Aerith?" Cloud muttered. He knew it couldn't have been her, but he had to -
"Mhm! What is it?" she asked cheerfully.
"Aerith?" Cloud blinked.
"Wait, how did you know my name?"
Cloud was hit with too many feelings all at once to handle. He grabbed his head and took a deep breath.
"Are you sick? I can cure you," Aerith asked with concern plain in her voice.
Was she a hallucination? Maybe Cloud wasn't ready for this. Maybe his grip on his sanity wasn't as good as he pretended.
"You just reminded me of someone I know. What were you doing on that ledge anyway?"
"Do you see the grass up there? I wondered if there were any flowers nearby. I haven't seen them grow in the wild in my entire life. That's why I climbed the wall, but I tripped and almost fell to the ground."
"You're so clumsy. You should be more careful."
"I'm sorry, I didn't even thank you for saving me. My name is Aerith, but I guess you already knew that somehow. And you are...?"
"Cloud Strife."
"Have we met before?" Aerith asked with a tilt of her head.
"Actually, yeah." How does she not recognize him?
"I'm sorry, but I don't remember you," she frowned. "Let me thank you. Please. I'll make you dinner tomorrow night! Is there anyway I can contact you?"
"There's a bar called Seventh Heaven that I frequent. Why don't you go there right now? It's still open. I'll meet you there soon, I just have something to take care of first."
Tifa and Barret would know what to do, wouldn't they? At the very least, they could tell Cloud if she was real or not. Loathe as he was to leave Aerith alone, the pull towards Sephiroth was getting unbearable. He was itching to leave.
Cloud was already on his bike by the time he heard Aerith yell, "Wait! You didn't tell me how we met before!"
---
Cloud stood in front of Shinra HQ, fragmented memories rising to the surface and giving him a migraine.
"Sephiroth?" Cloud called out. "Let's just get this over with!"
"You're looking for Sephiroth?" a man asked. The same man that Cloud saw in his dream.
The floodgates had opened. Memories came rushing in, and Cloud was overwhelmed. He felt dizzy.
"Zack?"
"Hey, Cloud. I didn't know you and the General were close," Zack said, cocking an eyebrow.
"We're really not. Well, I guess in a sense, but..." How are you alive? "What are you doing here?"
"Believe it or not, looking for Sephiroth. Somehow, I got the sense he was here."
"Yeah. Me too."
"So we're just gonna stand around and wait, huh?" Zack joked.
"Cloud!" Aerith yelled and ran towards him. "I'm not finished -" Aerith stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Zack. Her eyes welled up with tears.
"Aerith, oh, Gods, I've been looking for you everywhere," Zack said and pulled her into a hug. Aerith's hands held on tightly to Zack's shirt as she cried. "What's wrong, Aerith?" Zack asked softly.
"I thought... I thought you were dead," Aerith said, voice muffled against Zack's chest. Zack began petting her hair and said, "I'm sorry. It's been so long. I should have called, but I was supposed to go to Nibelheim soon."
Nibelheim...
"I was just going to ask Sephiroth when we depart."
Sephiroth.
"You were looking for me?" Sephiroth asked. Cloud's heart stopped as he slowly turned around to see none other than his mortal enemy. It was too much, all too much. He held his head in his hands and growled, "What the hell is happening to me?"
He fell to his knees and felt like he was going to throw up. He looked up to see Sephiroth staring at him like he was a speck of dirt on his shoes. It lacked all the intensity that Sephiroth's gaze usually had. All Cloud could think was that it was uncharacteristically uncaring, for lack of a better word.
This wasn't right. None of this was right. None of this...
"What's your name?" Cloud could distantly hear Sephiroth's voice, but couldn't register that he was talking to him until Zack said, "That's my friend, Cloud. And this is my girlfriend, Aerith."
"Cloud, are you okay?" Sephiroth asked.
Oh, how Cloud would have longed to have Sephiroth's attention like this many, many years ago. But now...
With great effort, Cloud managed to stand up and pull out his sword and point it at Sephiroth. "What are you doing to me?" Cloud asked Sephiroth. "And why aren't you angry?" he asked Aerith. "This is all so wrong. You're all supposed to be..." dead. But, Cloud couldn't break the news to them, not like this.
"I don't know what's wrong with you, Cloud, but I assure you, I'm not a threat. Why don't you put your sword away?" Sephiroth said.
Cloud did as he was told. He didn't feel like a puppet, he just felt weary and tired. He wanted these hallucinations to just go away. He wanted to be okay again.
Sephiroth put his hand on Cloud's shoulder and peered into his eyes with concern. It was all too much. Cloud doubled over again, and faintly felt Sephiroth' arms hold his waist as the world faded to black.