Chapter Text
It was getting bad again, Brian had felt it building for the last week. He didn’t know why he was surprised, he was coming off November which was always a stressful month for him.
he never allowed the stress to hit until after the Month ended. Which it had.
Currently Brian sat in the Bathroom, with a shattered glass plate threatening to tear at his skin
God he hadn’t felt in so long, even before November. He’s felt like a walking corpse since March but it’s here that something stirs in him
He wants to feel again
The irishman sucked in a breath as he let the sharp edge glide along his skin, ripping it open. It was a unpleasant feeling, but a feeling none the less
He didn’t hesitate to make another scar beneath the previous one, not even bothering to stop the blood leaking onto the Bathroom floor
Brian got halfway through a Third cut when a knock was heard on the door
“Hey Brian? Are you ok in there? You’ve been in there for a bit”
Brock
He and Brock shared an Apartment, a Bathroom
“Im fine” Brian lied through his teeth, rapidly rolling toilet paper around his new self-made wounds “just a little constipated is all”
Brock seemed to accept the answer, muttering out a ‘oh ok’ before footsteps ventured from the bathroom door
Terroriser spared another look at his wrist, and the area around it. Blood was quickly staining through the toilet paper and there were red droplets on their tiled floor
And suddenly Brian’s face felt wet, and his chest heavy, and oh god he had been doing so good-
The weight of the situation was hitting him like a truck. He had cut himself. He had hurt himself. After so long of not doing it
The irishman continued on, crying as quietly as possible as he wrapped up his arm in more toilet paper before reaching for the first aid kit in the cupboard in front of him
Once he was sure the cuts were secured enough, he cleaned the blood droplets on the floor, and went to wash his hands. Looking at his face, Brian decided to splash water on it as his pale skin was all red and puffy.
One final thing before exiting, Brian made sure his leather jacket was covering the makeshift bandages.
A few years earlier Brian had made the promise to Brock and many others of the group that he wouldn’t hurt himself again, and while he surely did break that promise he wasn’t about to admit that to those individuals
Finally he exited the Bathroom, and the shattered plate he had cut himself with was suddenly made relevant again as Brock was sweeping it up
Guilt settled in, Brock must know right?
“Im so sorry” Brian started off, Accent thicker than he thought it’d be “I heard a loud sound outside and it scared me and then all the sharp pieces and I-”
“It’s ok, Brian” Brock’s voice was soothingly soft, already wiping away the tears threatening to prick at the Irishman’s eyes before even touching them “It’s Ok”
Brian took a shaky inhale, Brock knew, he had to know
“I can clean the rest if you’d like?” The irishman offered, Voice quiet and Small
“That’s ok i got it” Brock spoke, swiping up the last of the shards before dropping it in the trash
He then turned back to Brian and softly asked “i meant to ask earlier, but how are you doing Bri?”
“What?” Guilt rose in Terroriser’s chest, he knew
“Well, it’s been very stressful for awhile, what with the global pandemic, and charities, and us being mean in games” Brock’s voice was soft and kind, he placed his hand on Brian’s shoulder’s “i know that can get to be a little much and i just wanted to see how you were handling it all?”
Brian couldn’t tell if Brock was tricking him or genuinely in the Dark. in truth he felt terrible. His wrist stung from the cuts, and Brian feared they would bleed through, revealing to Brock what he might already know. Breaking a Promise that Brian had never wanted to break
But he Couldn’t answer that, didn’t wanna answer that, so he lied
“I’m doing alright Brocky. It’s been a lot but I’m well. I really appreciate you asking”
Brock smiled at him, showing him a soft look that made the heaviness in Brian’s chest triple
“That’s good. Im proud of you, you know that right? We’re all so proud of you,” Brock’s hand had moved to rest on the side of Terroriser’s face “always remember that you are so Loved and so Cared for, Yeah?”
Brian tried desperately to fight with his glossy eyes, his lip trembling. Brock didn’t know, his pride was undeserving, none of them knew.
“Yea” was the only thing Brian could muster out, sending a week smile, his voice Week and Quiet. His lip shook with unshed tears and Terroriser was sure his voice would too.
Brock sent him a sickeningly sweet smile, before pulling his head forward for a kiss.
“Gonna be on a session with Tyler, Marcel, & Scotty. Your always welcome to join if you’d like”
The Irishman only shook his head, sending his best fake smile as thanks for the invite. Brock patted his shoulder as he finally turned to make his way to his recording room.
Once Terroriser heard the door shut he let out a quiet whimper, Tears finally falling down his face.
Brian felt Horrible