Chapter Text
Death is a macabre reality of human mortality. It is non-discriminatory and unforgiving. No matter how good or bad you have lived your life, it is a matter that is inescapable. And it can often be unexpected, particularly when you are young. Taehyung certainly never suspected to die. He was a young, healthy man who was just starting his life with great fortune. He could not have predicted nor have prepared for his death that fateful morning. Everything that day had been going completely normal. He woke up with his stunning lover beside him, he showered, and dressed, grabbed his coffee, and set his way into his red Chevrolet. As he passed the green light and into the intersection, he could not have foreseen that the massive Ford F-150 was speeding recklessly through traffic. He could not see the driver, a 26-year-old woman going through a severe mental breakdown after a breakup with her fiancé. He could not see how this was a woman who was purposefully trying to crash her car, and she couldn’t care less who she could kill, as long as she died along with them. His little Chevrolet was no match against the 70 mph F-150.
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Taehyung’s eyes shot open as his body jolted up to a sitting position. His right hand laid over his heart as he breathed heavily. His eyes scanned his surroundings, trying his best to decipher if he had really gotten into a fatal car accident or if it was just a horrific dream. He could feel his heartbeat start to settle as he recognized the familiar room. He was still in his apartment with Hoseok. He let out a sigh of relief, grateful that it had only just been a bad dream. However, he could not help but still be deeply unsettled. The dream had felt way too real, more so than any other of the dreams he had.
He looked over to his right side, his eyes meeting the bareback of Hoseok. The paperwhite comforter had only reached up to Hoseok's hips, leaving his torso entirely exposed. Taehyung studied the figure as Hoseok breathed gently, his body rising and down smoothly with every breath he took. His chestnut brown hair was tousled against the pillow and his hands were balled up into gentle fists, with his arms against his chest and his fists gently placed on his chin. His eyelids fluttered ever so slightly. His even and light breaths were almost a contrast to his balled-up fists. He was relaxed in his sleep but there was a certain level of stress he was bearing. Taehyung didn't seem to take notice of the conflicting body language, the only thought that registered in his mind was how adorable his lover looked in his slumber. Just as Taehyung was about to reach down and place his lips over Hoseok's ear, a door from a distance slammed.
The slam was so hard that it shook the entire apartment space momentarily, startling Hoseok awake. Hoseok let out a gasp as he hastily seated himself up. His right hand laid flat on the mattress to steady his body while he used his left hand to grip the comforter up to his chin, covering his bare torso. Before Taehyung could even speak, an all too familiar voice echoed its way through the bedroom.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
Taehyung stared in utter disbelief as he watched his own self make its way from the doorway and over to Hoseok’s side, pecking the smaller man on the forehead. Hoseok eyed the man above him, irritation bubbling inside his chest. He didn’t even acknowledge the other man beside him. Taehyung sputtered as he watched himself undo his work tie and begin to unbutton his dress shirt. He jutted out from the bed, panic and inexplicable fear piercing through his body.
This can’t be real. This can’t be real. This can’t be-
“Jesus, Taehyung, you smell like her.” spat out Hoseok, throwing the covers off his body as he stood from the bed. He briskly left the room, throwing his right hand back over his head in a dismissive and hostile fashion towards Taehyung.
Taehyung watched himself as he nonchalantly glanced at Hoseok’s leaving, a deep chuckle escaping his throat as he shook his head to himself. The man continued to undress and put on his pajamas, not even bothering to shower before bed despite knowing that Hoseok would be deeply grossed out by him not showering, especially before bed. Taehyung lazily threw his work clothes into the hamper, deciding to follow his fiancé out of the room.
“I smell like her?” questioned Taehyung, his eyebrows raising in an inquisitive fashion with also a hint of challenge to them.
Hoseok fiercely met eyes with Taehyung, standing on the other side of the kitchen island that Taehyung was approaching. And even though the other Taehyung was still trying to comprehend the completely out-of-body experience he was witnessing, he became struck by the seeming cruelty that radiated from the man that was supposedly himself. He wondered, “Had I always been so ugly?”
He wanted to stomp, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry out to Hoseok that he was right here, and to ignore the man that was presented in front of him. But he knew that what he wanted to believe was not true, that the man was him. And he knew that the moments leading up to follow was an ugly reality that he could not run from. And worst of all, it was all entirely his own fault. He wanted to put a stop to this dream and just get back to his normal self, but he could not look away from himself. He could not look away from the person who he knew all too well but simultaneously be a stranger. He recognized himself, yet he didn’t.
Taehyung stared at the scene in front of him in agonizing pain, looking at himself in utter disgust.
Please shut up! Don’t say anything! Don’t say anything!
“Please, do not play daft with me.” Hoseok breathed out rapidly, trying his hardest to control his breathing. The anger inside of him was at a maximum level, where he could practically feel literal steam spewing out his ears. But Hoseok refused to allow himself to lose control. While he was always a highly emotional person, always keeping his heart on his sleeve, he prided himself in controlling his emotions when needed to be. And he wasn’t going to allow that to change anytime soon.
Taehyung watched his past self take a slight pause, his shoulders shrugging up as he laid his palms flat against the island, his arms extending as his bottom half leaned out. His past self brazenly eyed his fiance, almost as if to challenge the other man.
“You’re right I did.”
Hoseok paused, baffled by the man’s honesty. Taehyung never admitted to Hoseok the truth.
“W-what?”
“You’re right I did. Now it is not a surprise nor a secret no more. Listen, Hoseok, you know that I love you and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But a man has needs and sometimes those needs need to be met. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or that I don’t care for you. It’s just purely physical urges. It is not emotional, and I don’t care for her. You must understand that I want you and only you. You are the main person in my life. Remember, I am marrying you and I want you to be the one to raise my future kids. Isn’t that enough for you? I mean, I give you this beautiful apartment and anything you ever want. You don’t ever have to work anymore; all you must do is still loyal to me. That all I ask is for you to be mine. Is that not enough? What more can you want?” Taehyung asked, shoving his hands into his pajama pants pockets as he titled his head in question, brows furrowed.
Hoseok’s mouth opened agape, completely baffled by Taehyung’s revelation. After a few moments of tense silence, the two men just stared at each other over the island. Hoseok decided to break the silence.
“I want you to act like my fiancé.” he whispered, his lips trembling with tears bubbling in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around himself to soothe himself. He never wanted this. He never imagined this for himself. Taehyung promised to protect him. He promised he would never hurt him. He would have never laid his entire life to this man if he knew he would exploit his love like this.
Taehyung hummed, nodding in approval to Hoseok’s words. He sauntered over the island to the trembling male, his hands reaching over to Hoseok. Hoseok jerked away from his fiancé, bile rising in his throat.
“N-no. Get away from me!” Hoseok screamed, pushing at Taehyung’s chest.
Taehyung grabbed Hoseoks forearms, pressing Hoseok’s arms against his own strong chest, shushing him. Hoseok began to let out heartbroken sobs, repeatedly shaking his head, trying his hardest to get the significantly stronger male to let go of his arms. Taehyung ignored Hoseok’s resistance, forcefully wrapping his arms around his torso, enveloping him in a tight and overpowering embrace. He pushed himself and Hoseok against the large refrigerator that stood behind the island, leaning his forehead against the other. Hoseok continued to sob, frantically moving his head from side to side, avoiding the other man’s gaze.
“We’re done! We are fucking done! I never want to see you again!” he cried out, attempting to extend his arms out against Taehyung’s chest. When that proved to be a failure, he screamed out, “Fucking get off of me!”
“Hoseok” Taehyung rasped out, grabbing Hoseok by his chin, making him look at him in the eyes. Hoseok breathed out, clenching his teeth in defiance. His nose flared as the tears continued to pour out of his eyes. He knew that Hoseok wasn’t going to let him go if he kept fighting, so he stopped fighting, hoping to be let go if he just listened.
“I fucking love you! Don’t you get that? I promise you that nothing is going to change. I am still going to provide for you and care for you. I am not going to leave you. What I do in my free time has no place in this relationship. Understand? All you need to do is just stay by my side and be my lifelong partner. Okay?” Taehyung hissed out, his fingers clenching tighter around Hoseok’s chin with each passing second. His jaw tightened, as a dark scowl covered his entire face. He won’t allow this to sever his relationship with Hoseok. He won’t.
“I don’t want this,” Hoseok said softly, watery eyes boring into fierce ones.
“Then, what do you want?”
“...I want to be happy.”
Taehyung let out an anguished sob at the scene that laid out in front of him. He refused to believe that is him. It isn’t him. It can’t be. Since when was he so cruel? So selfish? How could he do this to the one person he loved? His knees buckled in his misery, his heart-shattering at the destroyed expression on the love of his life’s face. He never would have thought that he would be the cause of that expression. He never wanted to be. He screamed out.
STOOOPPP! DON’T DO THIS TO HIM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? FIX THIS!
When he got no response from either party, he kept screaming and screaming. He tried to reach his hands out to grab himself, but his feet wouldn’t allow him to move. It was as if they were invisibly shackled to the floor. He laid out on his hands and knees, his head facing the two men against the fridge. He cried and cried as he watched his past self kiss Hoseok on his trembling lips. He cried as he watched his past self embrace Hoseok in a deep hug, with his hand on the back of Hoseok’s head, stroking the chestnut hair through his finger, Hoseok laying his chin on Taehyung’s shoulder. He cried as he saw Hoseok’s blanked-out expression. An expression on display that could only mean one thing, Hoseok was completely and utterly broken.