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It always ended like this; you waking up to find a cold empty spot beside you, where he should have been. Where Eren should have been…
You couldn’t say that you were surprised, you knew who he was after all, you knew that he only saw you as a friend but still…a part of you had hoped that he would at least let you down easy, that he could spare you the humiliation you felt after each encounter between you two, the humiliation of blindly forgiving him each time he’d played with your feelings- pulling on your heart strings like a puppeteer with their puppet. Each time he’d lifted you up, then threw you back down.
The two of you were friends. Long before any of this happened, the two of you were just friends; two happy little kids just running around in fields of grass and flowers…until that night, the night that you took comfort in him after being dumped by your lover of 5 years for your childhood bestfriend, Hitch Dreyse.
He’d told you that night, that you didn’t deserve what happened to you, that your ex was stupid for leaving you, that they would surely realize their mistake and come crawling back to you begging for forgiveness.
Every time, he’d make you feel like he only cared for you, that he loved you, that nothing else mattered to him; and you’d believe him every time.
Every. Single. Time.
You’d always been a pushover; easy to manipulate and even easier to hurt.
And now, here you were feeling stupid and sorry for yourself. Nevertheless, you hauled yourself out of bed. You found yourself contemplating how your life would have been if you’d never met him.
You decided that afternoon that you were gonna end this cycle of hurt and embarrassment. So you texted him asking him to meet up and talk.
“Y/N” :
“Hey, can we meet up at my place at six this afternoon? I have something I want to talk to you about”
“Eren” :
“Sure, I’m free this afternoon since my class got canceled”
“Y/N” :
“K, see u”
“Eren” :
“See you”
You sighed as you turned off your phone, getting ready for your next subject.
You really didn’t want to lose another person close to you, but you soon realized that in life…you’d have to burn some bridges to be able to keep moving forward and avoid going back to the past.
With that in mind, you proceeded to walk into class…
You opened the door to your apartment and proceeded to walk in with a sluggish pace; College was tiring but you still needed to go in order to graduate.
It was somewhere around 5:30 pm by now, which meant you had half an hour (give or take) to get ready to see Eren, but you weren’t rushing since you knew he’d be somewhat late anyway.
You were still in your day clothes and while you weren’t planning to sleep with Eren, you still thought that you should wash up and change into more comfortable clothes.
You began undressing yourself, wrapping a white towel around your body when you finished. You then picked out a black hoodie to wear and a black sweatpants to match with it.
You stepped into the shower and began washing yourself, all the while pondering as to how you were going to muster up the courage to cut him off.
After fifteen minutes of overthinking, you decided to step out of the shower and start getting ready. You dried your skin before applying your vanilla-scented lotion. You then started your skincare routine and brushed your hair into a low bun.
Of course you couldn’t forget to moisturize your lips, especially with how they were cracking the past few days- the tears in them hurting each time you talked, so you took a tiny container of vaseline and applied some of it’s contents sparingly onto your lips since you didn’t like the slippery feeling of it, but whatever, it was the best savior for your poor lips right now.
You spent the next half-hour in your living room, watching a show on your TV while you waited.
~ding-dong~
You got up and walked towards your door to open for him.
“Hey.” You greeted him, watching the way some stray strands of his hair hugged his face beautifully falling from his messy bun. He was really a wonderful sight.
“Hey.”
You then opened the door wider, inviting him in. He walked right over to sit down on your sofa, watching the show that you had left playing.
You closed your door and walked over to your kitchen before asking:
“Do you want some tea or something?”
“Yeah, thanks. It was a bit cold outside.” He admitted.
“Of course it’s gonna be cold when you only wear a t-shirt and sweats.” You snickered, placing the teapot onto the stove.
“Shut up.” He chuckled lightly, a small smile pulling on his lips.
You couldn’t help but feel bad about what you were about to do, but yet again..he was the one who used you. Not the other way around.
You poured the tea into two cups and made your way over to him. He took a cup from your hand muttering a small “Thank you.” To which you hummed in response.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” He questioned, taking a sip of his now half-finished tea.
You just sat there silently for about 4 seconds before answering him, pausing the program playing on the TV and mustering up enough courage to say it out loud.
“I don’t think we should continue seeing each other Eren.”
His brows furrowed as he watched you with confusion.
“Why?”
“Because I can’t keep pretending as if I’m ok with this.” You answered, standing up to put down your teacup on the coffee table which rested in the center of the room.
He watched you with confusion once more, forcing you to really say what you meant.
“I can’t keep pretending as if it doesn’t hurt me when you come over and love me one day just to leave me the next. I can’t keep pretending like it doesn’t hurt each time you tell me we’re just friends right after telling me I mean the world to you.
It’s so unfair- the way you put me on top one moment just to drag me down the next. You know how I feel about you, but yet still you abuse your power!”
He just watched you silently while you stood there venting out how you felt. It frustrated you because here you were, on the verge of tears while he couldn’t even say anything to you.
Your eyes burned from the heavy tears threatening to spill and you could feel your face heating up as your throat seemed to close in on itself. The air felt so thick, making it impossibly hard to breathe.
Eren’s eyes showed a glimpse of sadness when a watery layer started to glaze over them, but you didn’t catch it as you were overcome with frustration. He said nothing this whole time.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?!” You exclaimed, overly frustrated by his lack of words.
You expected him to shout back at you or get up and leave or even laugh, you expected anything but certainly not this-
He simply put down his teacup, got up and slowly hugged you. He didn’t do anything, he just stood there- hugging you.
All the tears that threatened to spill from the borders of your eyes now started a free fall onto his shirt before you finally let yourself go- sobbing uncontrollably with your hands clinging to his shirt, you just accepted his comfort.
It was ironic; the source of your pain was now your source of comfort. It was so stupid that you would have laughed if you weren’t so sad right now. You stayed like that for a few moments before he parted from you, watching your face. It was only then that you noticed that he’d shed a few tears too.
“I’m sorry.” He said softly.
You wanted to forgive him, tell him it was okay, that you loved him… but he didn’t deserve your forgiveness.
He knew this.
“I can’t. I can’t forgive you…not this time.” You told him in voice so low that it could be mistaken for a whisper.
He nodded, muttering a small “Okay.”kissing your forehead.
“I understand.” Was all he said as he pulled you back into his warm embrace, one hand cradling your head.
You pulled away when you felt stable enough to be on your own. He watched you as you separated your body from his before asking:
“Can we still be friends Y/N?”
You wanted to say yes; you really did, but you knew that if you did then it would just go back to what it was before, that you’d be in the same situation all over again, that you’d wake up once more feeling sorry for yourself. Keeping in mind your bittersweet memories, you answered him:
“No.”
Eren held back a breath before reaching out his hand to run across your forehead; slicking your already-brushed hair back into itself. With a sad smile he asked:
“Would you let me kiss you one last time?”
You nodded, you truly did love him and you knew that you would miss him. Of course you would miss him kissing you, touching you and laughing with you, so of course you would want to feel his lips ghost yours for one last time, of course you would want him to hold you one last time- Love you one last time.
“Yes.”
Nodding at your answer, he approached your face; one hand cupping your right cheek and the other resting on your shoulder, your own hands finding purchase on either sides of his neck.
The kiss was deep, loving and filled with emotions as he held you tightly whilst prodding his warm tongue against your own; he tasted like the green tea he was drinking earlier; sweet…or maybe that was the honey you added to it knowing he had a sweet tooth, either way, his lips tasted lovely to you right now.
You pulled back first; inhaling and exhaling slowly as you tried to regulate your breathing from the kiss.
He stared at your face, not wanting to give up on you because even if he would lose you as a sex partner he would also lose you as a friend- a friend he knew for over ten years; a friend that stuck by his side no matter what, a friend that was always there, one who loved him unconditionally, and knowing this made his heart shatter.
Gathering his woes, he kissed you once more- both hands coming to your face this time. His lips felt so soft against your own, they were as soft as cotton even though they pressed hard on yours. This time his kiss took you by surprise; but you didn’t protest. You closed your eyes and let your arms rest lazily around his neck this time.
It wasn’t too long before you felt his tongue swiping along your lower lip, seeking permission to enter- which you allowed after a slight hesitation. His tongue explored your mouth in search of your own, grazing your bottom teeth and forcing yours to come out and play. The two muscles aimlessly caressing each other.
The kiss became heated after some time. You knew where this was going…and you knew he knew too. He gently pulled away from your lips. His forehead rested against yours before he questioned:
“Y/N. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, Eren. Let me feel you one last time.”
“Okay.”
Your lips reconnected with his and the heat in the atmosphere started building up again. You sighed as his hands found the waistband of your pants and slowly pulled it down, letting it pool on the floor. You kicked off the remainder of it before he grabbed hold of your thighs, lifting you up to carry you to the bed.
He placed you down gently onto the mattress before kissing you again. His hand slowly snaked it’s way under your hoodie while he began licking and sucking lightly on your neck to which you moaned out softly. He began kneading your breasts with his right hand seeing as you had no bra underneath. Of course you wouldn’t wear a bra under a hoodie, you chose to be comfortable. He thumbed your nipple before pinching it, eliciting a another small moan from you before giving the other equal treatment.
By that time the hoodie had become an inconvenience for the both of you, so you raised your upper half to pull it completely off before you noticed that Eren still hadn’t taken off any of his clothes. You reached up to him to tug at his shirt until it came off. You ran your hands up and down his chest before feeling the ridges of his abs on your fingers.
He took one of your hands before kissing the palm of it gently and proceeded to lay it elsewhere in favor of continuing his ministrations on you. With his right hand kneading your breasts and teasing your nipples; he began kissing you feverishly before biting your bottom lip and starting to work on your neck again. He sucked on your sensitive skin causing you to moan lightly into the air once more; hearing your response, he bit on the skin lightly but firm, causing a groan.
He trailed open mouthed kisses along your collarbone down to the valley of your breasts. He licked on a nipple before sucking on it gently. You gasped at the sensation and rested a hand gently on the back of his head while moaning softly to the pleasant feeling.
“Ohh…that feels so good Eren.” You praised him for his work, to which his lips curled upwards against you.
He continued his trail of kissing down your torso all the way to your center. He looked up at you, silently asking for permission. You nodded at him, nibbling on your bottom lip in anticipation.
He traced his middle finger against your panties, feeling the damp patch covering your core. He pulled down your panties and pushed back one of your thighs to get a view of your glistening cunt. He then traced his index and middle fingers along your entrance before running them along your folds; spreading your slick and circling your clit.
He rubbed on your inner thighs and began kissing them. He licked and sucked gently on your skin, taking his time leading up to your core.
He brought his face close to your cunt and licked a long stripe from your entrance to your clit, he let his mouth linger on your clit; drawing lazy, miscalculated circles around it as he inserted his middle finger into your heat. You hummed softly at his actions.
He took your moan as encouragement to now add his index finger alongside the other. He began moving, slowly pumping his fingers into you whilst flicking your clit with his tongue.
You whined at his actions, lifting your hips and grinding them against his face silently in search of more.
He withdrew from you before taking a pillow and placing it under your hips to give them more height before you could question his actions. He then focused his attention back to you. This time, using his tongue to fuck you instead of his fingers.
“Oh fuck…Eren…” You rasped at the feeling.
“Mmm…” He hummed back at you, sending vibrations through your pussy, causing you to moan even more.
Whilst his tongue fucking felt great, he knew it wasn’t enough to get you off- he suddenly withdrew from you once more to finger-fuck you again. This time he used his ring and middle fingers since he wanted to reach that spot inside you that always left you a moaning mess. His goal tonight was to make you feel the best he ever had; to give you the best orgasm you ever had, to return all the affection you always gave him- to take care of you.
You whimpered when he entered you once more, his fingers felt great against your walls.
“Eren…please…” You whined, bucking your hips slowly against his hand, desperate for some friction.
Your cunt sucked his fingers in greedily, all the way to his knuckles. You felt so tight around his digits.
He groaned at the warm feeling of your tight pussy, starting out slow once again, building up speed until your occasional moans became irregular pants. His pace had you out of breath with the heat in the atmosphere. He sucked on your nipples, like a newborn baby feeding for the first time. Eren loved the smell of your skin.
He left your breasts in favor of beginning his assault on your clit- his tongue flicked at the nub a few times and you felt something wet and warm fall on it and slide down to your heat, making it even slicker than it was before. He’d spat on your cunt to prepare you for what he was about to do-
He began pumping his digits in and out of you, curling them with a ridiculously fast pace, he then encircled your swollen clit once more and began sucking hard on it.
“Oh my god…!” You moaned loudly this time, delighted in the feeling.
Your pussy clenched around his fingers trying to adjust to the sudden change in speed, resulting in your walls becoming sensitive from the friction. He curled his fingers towards your g-spot and without warning- you came on his fingers, moans spilling from your lips as you creamed all over his hand.
“That’s it baby, come for me. Juuusstt like that…” He chimed as he kept his pace.
Yours hands flew to his, desperately trying to get him to withdraw from you because of your oversensitivity from the orgasm.
“Please…Eren…please, it’s too much-” You whined and he complied, pulling his fingers out of you. His tongue found it’s way to your entrance to lap at your release.
He helped you ride out your high whilst he savoured your taste on his tongue. He then licked you off his fingers, savoring it as if you were a tasty meal. You were still catching your breath when he kissed you; his tongue catching yours, forcing you to taste yourself on him.
“Don’t you taste good Y/N?” He questioned between his kisses.
You hummed, replying to him.
“Yeah…yeah, I do.”
“I think so too.” He mumbled, starting to kiss you again.
You kissed him back, his hands found your face again, deepening the kiss. It felt almost as if he was trying to tell you something. You ignored the thought in your head, wanting to avoid getting your hopes up. You opted for the waistband of his pants, tugging lightly at it, hinting your desire.
“A- Are you sure?” Eren asked you breathlessly, making sure there were no misunderstandings between you.
“Yes. Eren…I want to feel you.” You confirmed.
With that, he pulled off his pants and boxers before removing the pillow underneath you. His cock was red and flushed with precum dribbling out after being teased so much by your moans, you were wondering how he had enough self control to not hump against your bed like a dog in heat. He was big and he had some girth, you had to admit.
He caressed your cheek gently and kissed you once, twice, before you took his length into your hand and began pumping slowly.
He groaned into your touch and slowly moved his hips to meet your hands.
He moved back from you after a few pumps and aligned himself with your dripping cunt. He slowly slid in with a small grunt upon feeling your walls constrict around him, watching your face contort in pleasure as he entered you inch by inch all the way to his base- bottoming out.
“You okay?” He asked upon hearing you inhale sharply.
The stretch of his cock had your pussy throbbing with want. He was so big that it almost hurt. You took him before so you could surely do it again, right?
“Yes, I’m fine Eren. I’m good.” You reassured.
He nodded and started moving slowly inside you, letting you adjust to his size before picking up the pace a bit, causing you to moan out loudly.
His lips found their way on your neck once more, laying sweet open-mouthed kisses to the sensitive skin. He focused his attention to your breasts. He licked your nipple lightly, flicking his tongue up and down before he took it in his mouth. Sucking harshly on your nipple, he gave it a little nibble with his teeth. You whimpered at the feeling he was giving you, it felt so good, but it still wasn’t enough for you.
“Eren, please…it’s not enough. Please, I want more of you.” You put in your request.
He said nothing as he kissed you one last time; parting from you to lift your legs up and push them back till they rested beside you, effectively folding you in half. He then began thrusting into you with a punishing pace, stroking your weeping cunt deeply; his head resting in the crook of your neck to lay sweet, soothing kisses there.
His change in speed left you whimpering and squirming underneath him- your breath faltering in his ears, raising goosebumps along his skin. Your hands gripped the sheets with a white-knuckle grip.
Your legs wrapped themselves around his torso as if to trap him, to never let him leave, which was the complete opposite of what was going to happen tonight. Your eyes began watering at this thought, a breath hitched from you when your realization caught you. You didn’t want to part from Eren, but you knew that you had to if you wanted to preserve your dignity and your sanity.
Eren brought a hand down to rub at your clit upon feeling your walls tighten even more around him; you were close. He looked up at you with haste, studying your eyes. He noticed your now-forming tears, hoping that they were tears of pleasure and not of pain, but he knew they were of the latter. It saddened him to know that you were hurting to that extent, but it was his doing after all.
His lips found yours in a gentle kiss, resting ever so softly on you as he tried to kiss away your sadness.
You felt your orgasm approach you and you moaned into his mouth. Your hands caressed his hair before you pulled out the small scrunchie holding it up, letting his hair surround you while you played with it.
He parted from you, staring at your flushed-out face through hooded eyes. His eyes were so beautiful… those jaded seas that always seemed to calm you. He observed your face as the coil in your lower stomach snapped-
Your orgasm started out silently, your brows furrowing deeply, mouth resting open with a silent scream before everything came crashing down- your breath was ragged, whines and whimpers spilled from your lips as you writhed underneath his touch.
Your arms were on his back as you held on to him tightly, your blunt nails scratched at his skin with how tight you were holding onto him. He captured your lips in a kiss once more, swallowing your moans, savoring them and storing them in the back of his mind for later retrieval in his late-night thoughts. Your body shook underneath his frame, your walls had contracted around him so tightly that it was becoming hard for him to move.
“Y/N! I’m gonna cum!” He warned you.
You locked your legs around his broad frame, you wanted to feel him, all of him.
His eyes squeezed shut as he came; his moans were deep and throaty. You pushed back his hair, framing his face with your hand. He looked like art, his face flushed, with pleasure written all over it. You guided him through his orgasm with soft caresses until he came down from his high.
He pulled out from you. His release mixed with yours, trickling out of you slowly. He rested over you, simply admiring you, your face flushed, pupils blown with lust.
He laid next to you, both of you embracing each other in a sweet hug. After a few moments, he spoke up:
“Y/N, I’m sorry.”
You just nodded, a sad smile forming on your lips. Your lips brushed his one last time before you got up.
You changed into your clothes before finding his and handing them to him. He said nothing as he took his clothes and put them on. You guided him to your apartment door even though he had known your apartment like the back of his hand already.
“I’ll miss you. Thank you for always being there for me Y/N. I’m sorry. I love you.” He declared to you before he left. You did nothing but smile with tears in your eyes as you hugged him one last time.
“I love you too.”
It came out as a whisper. You’d waited until he was gone to say it to avoid leading him on.
You returned to your bedroom after cleaning yourself up. You laid there sadly, but you knew it was for the best. As your eyes closed you thought about how you would feel in the morning, letting those thoughts fall on heavy eyelids as sleep overcame your body.