Work Text:
“And now, announcements. Listeners, me and Carlos are having a baby! Well, technically we may have already had a baby? It’s all very complicated science, I know this because I asked Carlos about it and he said it was science! With an exclamation mark, which means it’s the more advanced type of science.
I was just getting some coffee here at the station when I saw the baby floating over the counter. Of course, being a very diligent reporter, I immediately sent an intern to check on the baby. To the family of intern Marley, he still has full use of one of his arms, so that’s the good news.
Carlos came in to check, because he and his team of scientists detected some sort of weird energy coming from the station. He said, ‘Cecil, I came to check on you because we detected some sort of weird energy coming from the station. That is a technical term, some sort of weird energy, it’s science.’.
Anyway, after checking on the baby, Carlos was able to make it stop floating. And the baby has the most adorable hair! It looks just like Carlos’ perfect hair, and the baby also happens to have a wavy rib bone, which is practically a trademark of my family. You know what this means, listeners? It’s our baby! Carlos confirmed it, with science.
Now, the baby does seem to turn into a wolf when the moon comes out, or whenever it’s threatened, or when intern Marley gets near, I’m not entirely sure what that’s about. To the family of intern Marley, he still seems to have some use of one of his arms. But other than that, it seems to be a perfectly normal, mostly human baby. Now, no baby is perfect, and we shouldn’t judge it on its potential lycanthropic transformations.
I’m not a scientist myself, but as my boyfriend is a scientist, that makes me something of a scientist as well, and I have to say, based on my science, that this seems to have something to do with the newly instituted Glow Cloud, all hail, holiday. If you’ll recall, dear listeners, the Glow Cloud, all hail, holiday happens after second full moon after the third rain past the first blood moon of the year, and it’s been magical so far. Well, the only thing that happened so far was that this baby appeared, but children are always something magical.
Carlos did say that he needed to study the baby, for science reasons, so he’s taking it to his lab, to do science. I think this means we get to keep it? More on this news as it develops.”