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purge your urges (shame, shame, shame)

Summary:

“So, I was wondering…

Do you want to sneak into Isa’s office with me?”

Rep seemed to ponder this for a moment before coming to a decision.

“Go on…”

Everything is fine and dandy, but Xion and Rep still want answers.

Notes:

A lot of this is pre-written, but I'm pacing myself this time.

I'm really bad at time management and I have several other things in the works. All of which I'm super excited to share!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: no more surprises

Chapter Text

 

 

 



 

 

It was a day where Isa and Lea went on a date, or whatever adults do in their spare time. 

 

They left Naminé in charge, seeing as she was the most responsible out of everyone and honestly, Xion couldn’t blame them. Vanitas was also pretty responsible, but he was never in charge because he tended to take on everyone else's burdens and get everything done himself.

 

He had the strangest Martyr's complex and Xion couldn’t exactly fault him for it, considering everything XIII put them through. Especially Xehanort and Xemnas, the young one too.

 

They could all agree, he has probably the worst one. 

 

Regardless, they were by themselves and they were getting the chores done before going their own separate ways. They weren’t allowed to leave the house or go anywhere without explicit permission, not after the stunt Vanitas pulled a while back.

 

They did not not trust him, but Vanitas misinterpreted a lot of things. And he didn’t have many friends, so it wasn’t like he was going to sneak out and see anyone.

 

Especially after the arrival of Aqua and the others.

 

He was actually summoning Unversed more and more often. Rep said he would wake up and see Vanitas blankly staring at him or the wall. It was pretty unnerving according to Rep, and she didn’t believe it, until it happened to her.

 

She woke up one morning to see Vanitas blankly staring at her, an Unversed in hand and it took every bone in her body not to attack him. 

 

Not because she didn’t trust him, but because it was still weird to have another conscious body in the room that wasn’t malicious.

 

They asked about it, and the reason behind it was heartbreaking.

 

 

 

“I just wanted to be reminded I’m here and not there. You guys are my rock, and you’re the one thing that kept me going while completely by myself.”

 

 

 

So then, they just had regular sleepovers until Vanitas’s paranoia died down a bit. 

 

He was still on edge, regularly checking the corners and scanning the hallways for any visible threats, but for the most part he was recovering. At least, they thought he was.

 

There were hiccups in the road, but the path to stability wasn’t an easy or straight one, and they were all doing their best to become well again. 

 

It was just a big relief to permanently have the family together. The looming threat of Vanitas being taken away was completely gone, and they weren’t going to be seeing any of them any time soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

⭒ ✧ ☽  🌣  ☾ ✧ ⭒

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vanitas was napping and he took a picture of it, before turning the lights off and leaving. 

 

He needed the sleep and he needed the rest. It was a very stressful time and Rep had the privilege of watching his best friend flourish and thrive underneath the care of Isa and Lea.

 

They were saints compared to XIII, but XIII put their bar underneath the dirt they stood on, so he couldn’t really say much.

 

Regardless, who he was now was a stark contrast of who he was when he first came to the mansion. Rep almost cried when Vanitas opened up to him about the hell that was the Castle.

 

How he was afraid to talk, how Aqua was reminding him of Xehanort. How it was Terra, TERRA, who he had to rely on for safety, despite the shit that man put him through. 

 

Don't even get him started on Ventus.

 

Ventus was a can of worms he wanted nothing more than to throw into the ocean of Destiny Islands. He did not want to go anywhere near Ventus, nor did he ever want to think about the twerp that tormented Vanitas whenever he had the chance to.

 

He was fully aware how his friendship bias was clouding over his vision, but he could not bring himself to care. Even slightly. 

 

The way Ventus only cared when Vanitas was hurting, when he was suffering. And he was finally tired of reaching out to someone who never would. Vanitas found people who actually loved him, supported him, even had the honor of knowing even a small crumb of how he actually felt. Only after Vanitas had moved on, did Ventus actually care.

 

It would have been hilarious, if it wasn’t infuriating.

 

When Aqua and Ventus first entered the mansion, all the kids just stared at them, regardless of whether or not it was considered polite. They all hated them and how their treatment of Vanitas almost broke him down completely.

 

Only one, maybe two, other people were capable of doing that, and they only did physical punches.

 

Based on what Vanitas told him, the tiny bits he had opened up about, they attacked him in a way he couldn’t handle. They attacked him and drained him emotionally, bombarding him with rules and expectations and questions he felt like he couldn’t answer honestly without being reprimanded for it. He was called names and told he was less than human. Broke his heart to the point his Keyblade wasn’t even a Keyblade anymore. 

 

Their attacks and reprimands cut deep into his skin and heart. Them coming back to the mansion reopened old wounds and he broke down. He tried his best to support his friend, but there was only so much he could do when said friend was trying not to spill his guts and almost choke himself to death.

 

Watching Vanitas literally swallow his feelings down was horrifying, but he still hugged him all the same. Even Roxas patted him on the back, which was a surprise for them all, considering Roxas was one of the least touchy-feely people in the mansion.

 

Regardless, with them gone for good, it was a joy to watch Vanitas finally thrive under a stress free environment. Eventually getting a new Keyblade to show his growth.

 

And Vanitas loved it.

 

It was devoid of the Gazing Eyes Void Gear originally had. Instead, it was vaguely shaped like the clocktower, an abstract sun forming in the place of the teeth. The guard resembled the mansion they lived in. The Keychain was the shape of an Unversed symbol and they all loved it.

 

He did too.

 

He didn’t even mean to summon the new Keyblade; one of them had a run in with the Dusks and, before they knew it, Vanitas was stepping in and defending them. New Keyblade in hand and the Unversed carrying them away.

 

Everyone berated Vanitas for that one, the self-sacrificial idiot he was, and then they all dog-piled and congratulated him on his new Keyblade.

 

Since then, life has been going smoothly. 

 

Everyone was finally happy, the war was actually over, and they were all on their own journeys of self discovery. It was a joy to watch everyone thrive. He himself wanted to join, but there was the anxiety of losing his connection to Riku if he strayed too far away from the original.

 

Although he hated being an exact replica, this life and this body was all he’d ever known. Being a replica, being told he was nothing more than a copy, was the only thing that remained constant in his short, short life. The idea of branching out and expanding his horizons, even getting a new name, was swimming through uncharted waters and so, very, anxiety inducing.

 

He wanted to be different, he wanted to be seen as his own, but it was scary.

 

There was the possibility of dying his hair, but Riku never did, so there was the thought he shouldn’t. Even though he experimented with magic, with the help of Xion and Nami, and liked the way dyed tips looked, it was too different from Riku and he chickened out.

 

 

 

“Ugh. Self-discovery journeys are so annoying.”

 

 

 

He rolled over onto the grass, ready to take a nap underneath the setting sun when Xion’s face randomly appeared over him and he nearly jumped out of his own skin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

⭒ ✧ ☽  🌣  ☾ ✧ ⭒

 

 

 

 

 

 

Watching Rep get startled over the most mundane things was equally hilarious as it was worrying. But then again, being his best friend meant knowing things that were a little unsavory, but it was still funny regardless. 

 

 

 

“So, what was that about self-discoveries and them being annoying?”

 

“Shut up Xi.”

 

 

 

Rep threw a face full of grass at her, some of which landed in her mouth. It was minty, but it wasn’t socially acceptable to eat grass and random berries found in the wild. But she was bored and was going to eat the grass anyway while explaining her master plan to her bestie.

 

It harkened back to her bad habits in the Organization, but it was good to indulge every once in a while. Indulge in a little theft and kleptomania, just a little crime. It was unbecoming of a Keyblade wielder to show off delinquent behaviors, but there was no one to scold them and Naminé wasn’t going to say anything to Lea and Isa unless they were badly injured.

 

This was the perfect opportunity to indulge in some light mischief.

 

While also getting some answers.

 

 

 

“So, what do you want? You never bother anyone like this unless you want to do something wild.”

 

 

 

Dammit.

 

She was getting too predictable.

 

 

 

“So, I was wondering…

 

Do you want to sneak into Isa’s office with me?”

 

 

 

Rep seemed to ponder this for a moment before coming to a decision.

 

 

 

“Go on…”

 

 

 

Xion clapped her hands together in excitement and was thrilled to have her partner in crime back. It had been awhile since they did something a little devious, a little troublesome, maybe even a little bad. Mostly because of having Vanitas properly settling in and getting adjusted to having freedom and his boundaries respected, but he was safe now. And seeing their friend get a genuine night’s rest was all the more worth it.

 

 

 

“So. Don’t you find it a little suspicious that Vanitas’s letters stopped coming in about one to two weeks before he came in? Unless he stopped writing and sending in letters, which is unlikely considering they came in every other day once he was actually given the resources to write.”

 

“...

 

Help me up, we’re going hunting.”

 

 

 

Xion, once again, clapped her hands in happiness. 

 

 

 

Doll Duo is back in business!

 

 

 

She hoisted her friend up, surprisingly heavy despite what others might think, and off inside they headed. 

 

With Isa and Lea away for the next day or two, Naminé out in the garden drawing, and Roxas and Vanitas taking their Saturday naps, they had the whole house to themselves. 

 

They were going to get to the bottom of Vanitas, suddenly, going cold turkey. It was so unlike him to drop out of the blue, especially considering how much he loved both of them. Outwardly saying it to each of them, albeit behind closed doors, and then slowly crawling through the rest of the Mansion inhabitants.

 

Then, one day, he just said it out of the blue, a couple days after Aqua and the others left, and they all gave him the biggest group hug before he started to ball his eyes out. 

 

It was just, so unlike Vanitas, to stop writing right before one of the biggest moments in their lives. 

 

So either he was preparing to come earlier than they thought, or someone was purposely withholding the letters from them. With either Isa, Lea, or the Wayfinders being the culprits.

 

 

 

“You and I, we’re going to get to the bottom of this.”

 

“Doll Duo back in action?”

 

 

 

She slapped her friend on his shoulders and looped her arm around him.

 

 

 

“Doll Duo is back in action!”