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Veronica Echolls had to pee.
Terribly.
She looked down at her daughter, asleep on the Boppy pillow on her lap. Logan wouldn’t be home for two hours. She couldn’t hold it that long.
“Maddie,” Veronica said quietly. “Can you sleep in your bassinet for five minutes for Mama?”
Madelynn Grace Echolls, three months old, didn’t say a word of course. She stayed sound asleep as Veronica slowly stood up. She stayed asleep as Veronica rocked her gently and sang as she made the ten or so steps from the rocking chair to the bassinet.
As Veronica moved to set the baby down, she stirred slightly.
“Three minutes,” Veronica pled with the infant. “I’ll only pee halfway!”
Maddie twisted a bit once set down but did not cry. Veronica had happily sat down on the toilet when the baby began to wail.
“I’m coming!” Veronica shouted, fumbling for toilet paper. “I’m coming!”
She finished and chose to forgo flushing to wash her hands and flew back to the nursery with her hands still wet. She half dried them on a blanket while picking her daughter up to soothe her. She was learning to eat with a baby in her arms or on her chest, but peeing was a solo mission, at least until Maddie was old enough for a bouncy chair.
Speaking of eating with a baby in her arms, Veronica’s stomach was growling. Singing “Hush Little Baby”, she carried the baby to the kitchen.
Maddie was back to sleep by the time Veronica had gotten the container of pasta salad out of the fridge. She grabbed a fork and ate standing up, trying not to drop anything on her daughter. Yawning, Veronica took her to the rocker in the living room and sat down, sighing. The pediatrician had told her that some babies, especially preemies like Madelynn, don’t sleep on their own until they’re at least three months old. They like the closeness of being held. Veronica had been waiting for Maddie to hit that milestone—she and Logan were exhausted. And even though she was home all day with the baby, she still needed to sleep. So when Logan got home from the base, he would take her so Veronica could eat, shower, wash bottles, breathe. Some days it worked out.
Some days they were both blurry eyed and wiped.
Veronica looked at the calendar app on her phone. Maddie was three months and two days old. She hoped that tomorrow, Maddie would sleep in her bassinet or her crib.
Or anywhere other than her arms. She desperately needed to wash her hair.
“I thought the doctor said she might grow out of this by six months.”
Blurry-eyed but gratefully showered, Veronica took Madelynn from Logan so he could get ready to report to the base. Their daughter was still refusing to sleep in the crib, but she would sleep an hour here and there in the bassinet. It wasn’t much but Veronica was still grateful for it. It allowed for eating and washing and once, just once, screwing her hot husband.
“She was wrong about three months,” Veronica reminded him. She settled in the rocker with the baby on her Boppy pillow and began feeding her. They’d started out with just one recliner, in the nursery, and now there was one in nearly every room in the house. It made sleeping with Maddie on your lap or shoulder much easier.
“What time do you get off tonight?” Veronica asked just above a whisper.
“One-thirty.”
Veronica watched her gorgeous husband hurry around in a towel to get dressed and crossed her fingers that Maddie would sleep in her bassinet for an hour after Logan got home that night. She was desperate for some alone time with him.
“You have to cut her some slack,” Dr. Forrester said calmly. “All babies are different. And Madelynn having been born prematurely might make her a tiny bit behind the scale. She’s happy and healthy and there’s nothing to worry about.”
Veronica glanced at Logan, who was changing Maddie’s diaper. Their daughter was happy, yes, and she was so grateful that she was healthy. But she didn’t sleep more than an hour on her own a day, sometimes two, if they were very, very lucky, and she wasn’t much for playing on her own. She liked Veronica and Logan both to be on the floor with her, and she preferred for one of them to play with her while the other read one of her books out loud. Maddie hated her playpen and wouldn’t go near it. She was nine months old and was ruling the household. Veronica thought it was supposed to be easier by now.
Sure, she’d showered and washed her hair this morning (while Logan held Maddie), and she was used to sleeping in the recliners, but there was one thing sorely lacking in her life.
Logan.
They struggled to find any time together with his crazy schedule and the baby taking up so much of their time. Before deciding to become parents, when Logan was home they were still all over each other like teenagers.
Veronica missed it.
She missed him. The feel of his body on hers. His lips, his hands…...watching him now she got distracted by his arms and almost missed what the doctor was saying. Oh well, she could ask Logan for an update in the car.
They went home and Veronica took Maddie upstairs to feed her. She knew they were lucky—Logan said it all the time—but she was tired. She was so tired. She was sore—Madelynn was up to eighteen pounds—she was antsy and she was desperate to fuck her husband.
“Maybe by your first birthday,” Veronica muttered, walking by the rarely-used crib. Only eighty-seven days to go.
“I think I’m too tired to put up the tree.”
Logan stared at his wife, shocked. In the seven years they’d been back together, Christmas had always been huge for Veronica. Every year they’d added to their decorations and since having a house, they’d gotten even more. Last year, with a newborn Madelynn in their arms, they’d decorated their tree and made plans for the following year, their daughter’s first real Christmas.
“I can do it,” Logan offered.
Veronica yawned and switched the way she was holding Maddie. She hadn’t gotten any sleep at all the night before, with Maddie teething and refusing to go down. She mostly whined and whimpered and pulled Veronica’s hair.
The baby was content for five minutes, sucking on a teething ring shaped like an avocado, so Veronica let out a sigh of relief. “Maybe just the tree in here.”
“Sure.”
“And the one in our bedroom.”
Logan smiled at her. “Of course.” He loved that tree. They’d gotten it the first year they were married, and decorated it with only red ornaments, a lot of them hearts.
“Okay,” Veronica carefully sat on the couch, hoping Maddie stayed quiet, which she did.
For around eleven minutes.
“I got her,” Logan scooped her up, heading for the kitchen to switch her teething ring out for a colder one. “Take a nap.”
Veronica didn’t argue. She was asleep before Logan got to the fridge.
“Can’t you just come here?” Veronica asked her dad in a voice above a whisper. Madelynn was asleep in her crib and all she wanted was a nap. Getting dressed in something other than the matching pajamas they’d taken family photos in that morning and putting on shoes seemed too much to do. Maddie had been up all night, like a much older kid waiting to catch Santa.
“You guys always come here on Christmas Eve. We decorate the tree, watch movies, eat Chinese takeout,” Keith was taking this very seriously. “You’ll slave and cook for hours tomorrow, refusing help when you need it the most. That’s our tradition.”
Yawning, she sat on the edge of the bed and thought about it. “Can we come later?”
“Like four?”
“Or eight?” She suggested. “I gotta get some sleep and Logan isn’t home yet.”
They compromised on six and Veronica let herself lay down to get the few minutes of sleep Maddie would allow her.
“An American Girl doll, Dad? Really?”
While Maddie toddled around and played with discarded wrapping paper, Veronica pooh-poohed Keith’s gifts. Yes, he’d given her a few age appropriate things, blocks and stuffed animals and Little People. But there was also the doll, and a tricycle, and a basketball net like the one that Veronica had hated to lose when they moved out of her childhood home.
“The woman at Kohl’s said they were very popular,” Keith said. “I liked the monkey print dress she’s wearing, and apparently it’s a limited edition.”
“It’s a great gift,” Logan said from behind his tablet. He’d been filming everything Maddie did.
Veronica rolled her eyes and got up to stop their daughter from eating the wrapping paper.
“I hate to get out of the car,” Veronica said when they pulled into the garage. Madelynn was asleep and Veronica would love nothing more than to join her.
“Go on in to bed,” Logan said. “I’ll stay out here with her a bit.”
That plan was foiled the minute Veronica closed the car door, but Logan sent her inside and said he’d drive Maddie around the neighborhood for a little while.
Veronica raced upstairs before she changed her mind and put on her new Grinch pjs, setting Logan’s out on the bed for him. They’d gotten a Cindy Lou Who outfit for Maddie, complete with a large plush pillow shaped like an ornament. She was looking forward to taking pictures in front of the tree the next day.
Snuggling into bed, Veronica felt a little guilty for leaving Logan to deal with Maddie’s insomnia. He’d worked that morning and had to be at the base bright and early on the 26th. She was so tired though that exhaustion won out and she fell asleep.
The sound of jingle bells and giggling woke her up. She opened one eye to see daylight and Logan standing over her, Maddie in his arms. He set her on the bed and Veronica discovered the source of the jingling. Maddie was holding a large bundle of bells tied with red and green ribbons.
“Merry Christmas!” Logan gave her a quick kiss. “French toast casserole is in the oven and your dad is on his way.”
“Oh my God, I forgot to make the casserole.”
“Don’t worry, I did it. Come on, let’s go see what Santa brought!”
Veronica relished what was likely the last year she could pee before opening gifts and then they went downstairs together.
As soon as Logan set Maddie down, she ran for the presents, trying to get the paper off to play with.
“Did she sleep at all?” Veronica asked him. “I didn’t hear anything, I was out.”
“An hour in her car seat, an hour in the crib and maybe two in my arms.”
“Better than the last few nights,” Veronica admitted. She felt rested though, so she put all the sleepless nights out of her head and sat down with her daughter to open gifts. That was when she noticed a huge plastic bag she didn’t recognize. “What’s that?”
“A surprise.”
“For me or for Madelynn?”
“Both, I guess,” Logan pulled the bag off and revealed a two foot tall plastic Christmas tree, complete with ornaments and a star on top.
Maddie immediately attacked it, knocking the ball shaped ornaments skittering across the carpet. She laughed while chasing them, stopping to chew on part of the tree and then the train that sat on the base.
Veronica’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s her first Christmas tree.”
“That’s actually what it’s—why are you crying?”
She shook her head. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, although she felt well rested for the first time in months, or maybe it was the fact that this was Madelynn’s first real Christmas. Whatever it was, the tears just kept coming.
“I’m fine,” she assured Logan. “Happy tears.”
They finished opening gifts and Logan offered to feed Maddie while she jumped in the shower.
The rest of the day went by fairly smoothly. Maddie took a three hour nap in Keith’s lap, allowing Veronica to make a cheesecake for dessert. She hoped this was a sign of good things to come, but that night she and Maddie slept in the rocker in the nursery, an hour on, an hour off. They were “on” when Logan left in the morning, and she was mad she didn’t get to see him off.
During her next feeding, Veronica quietly told Maddie how she and Logan were going to a party in a little under a week, and how they would love it if she’d sleep in her crib for Grandpa. Keith’s hip was doing better but he couldn’t hold her in the same position for hours. He’d been quite stiff after their nap on Christmas Day.
“You’re a big girl now,” Veronica went on. “Can’t you try to sleep in your crib?”
Maddie responded by passing out on Veronica’s chest. She carefully transported her to her crib and held her breath while she used the bathroom.
Amazingly, she was still asleep, so Veronica tiptoed to her bedroom and fell into bed.
She was just beginning to dream when Madelynn woke up.
“She’s asleep in her crib,” Veronica handed Keith the monitor so he could keep an eye on her. “She’s been down like twenty minutes, and she slept in there for three hours last night so she might be up any second now.”
“There’s plenty of food in the fridge, cereal and some pouches,” Logan added. “She can have tiny bites of mac and cheese too.”
They rushed out before the baby could wake up and stall them.
“I don’t think we’ve been out without her in a year,” Logan said. “It feels weird.”
“Should I feel guilty?”
“Of course not.”
“Good, ‘cause I don’t,” she laughed.
Wallace and Shae’s party was in full swing when they arrived. Veronica enjoyed drinking for the first time in she couldn’t remember when. She and Logan had a fabulous time and didn’t get home until nearly three am. Keith was asleep on the couch and Maddie was asleep in her crib.
Veronica covered her father with a blanket and Logan heated up some mac and cheese which they ate in bed, waiting for Maddie to wake up.
When she didn’t, Logan went to go check on her. She was sound asleep in the crib, sucking her thumb.
“Happy new year,” Veronica woke Logan up with a cup of coffee.
“I didn’t hear the alarm,” he said, eyes still closed.
“It hasn’t gone off yet. Maddie got me up about twenty minutes ago.”
Logan sat up and took the cup. “How many times did she wake you last night?”
Veronica grinned. “None.”
“Seriously?”
“She woke up ‘cause she was wet. Pretty much went back to sleep on the changing table.”
“Wow.”
“I know,” she took his cup to steal a sip of his coffee. “Think it's a fluke or is she finally going to sleep on her own, through the night?”
“I don’t think it’s a fluke.”
It wasn’t. Madelynn had finally become a good sleeper. By Valentine’s Day, Veronica didn’t even feel the need to get a sitter so they could go out. Maddie was asleep before Logan got home, and she made him dinner and fondue for dessert. Before going to their bedroom, they checked on Maddie, still sound asleep in her crib. Tiptoeing out of her room, Veronica said, “Six weeks in and 2023 already kicks 2022’s ass!”