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Darkness. Usually, the calm of a pure darkness soothed you. The deep black did nothing but bring you joy, especially when paired with a glowing eyelight or two looking lovingly down at you.
This darkness though, was wrong. It pulsed. The gray hinted at distant silhouettes, yet there was nothing there.
…Right?
You could feel eyes on you. Digging into your back, thousands of gazes glaring unblinkingly. There were whispers in the dark, echoing, growing. The din already felt like screams, despite how distant it was.
Traitor. Liar. Murderer.
The distant silhouettes reached out towards you, deep gray barely distinguishable from the neutral grays of the background. You could smell the blood, see the dripping crimson. The only colour in the darkness oozed towards you, the salty scent quickly overwhelmed with smoke and ozone.
You shook, trying to back away from the growing flood of red and black, of hands, face, of screams.
You fell, twisting something in your ankle as you fell, but the pain was washed out by the wind rushing through your ears.
You startled awake, one hand immediately moving to clutch your chest. Your breath caught in your throat as you schooched up to the headboard. The darkness around you was stifling, not even a sliver of light trickling through the curtains. Your nails dug into your arms and chest, blood oozing slowly down your hands. You muffled a sob, slapping your hand over your mouth. Tears fell from your eyes, dripping to mingle with the blood on your hands. The salty smell burned in your nose, overwhelmed by smoke,
why was it there, what did you do,
how could you do that again-
You felt eyes on you, from all around the room, hands reaching out, screaming more, how you had wronged them, what you had done, a chorus of your sins sung for all to hear. You scrambled under the blankets, burrowing to safety, quiet, warmth.
Cross grumbled slightly from his place beside you, blinking hazy eyelights open. The slight glow of them illuminated your face, which was probably streaked with tears at this point. The skeleton’s face scrunched with concern, and he reached a hand out to you.
You ignored his arm to lunge forward into his chest, hiding your face in his thin nightshirt. It smelled like sweat, chocolate, and Cross - it smelled of home.
Cross stiffly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer. The room slipped into comforting silence, your own shaky breathing and the constant hum of Cross’s magic the only noises audible. Even the stares were gone, the only eyes you could feel on you were sweet, and loving, and kind to an extent you didn’t deserve.
Even if you didn’t deserve it, it was nice. Really, really nice.
You weren’t sure how long the silence lasted, Cross’s hold awkward beneath the gentleness. He had started rubbing your back at some point, the comforting pressure relieving the heaviness in your lungs. Cross’s body was stiff but warm against yours, moving one hand to wipe away a tear as you looked up at him.
There was a soft look in his eyelights, his browbones furrowed with worry. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it with a quiet click when you squeezed him tighter. Cross sighed, moving his hand to stroke your hair.
“...’m sorry,” you muttered, turning your head into your boyfriend’s chest.
Cross hummed in confusion, tilting your head up to make eye contact again. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” His statement felt more like a question, hesitant and unsure.
Of course it was.
Cross sighed, wrapping his body further around yours. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” This time his statement was spoken with confidence, and followed up with a kiss on your cheek.
A smile tugged at your lips for a second, before it fell again. “...Am I a bad person?” Your voice shook, and you couldn’t keep eye contact. You shouldn’t have asked, what if he said yes, what if he hated you-
“No.”
The stern tone of Cross’s voice caught you off guard. You tried to stammer out a response, but the jumbled word salad made no sense.
“Y/N, you aren’t, and will never be, a bad person. You’re smart, you’re kind, you’re- absolutely ad-dorable, cheerful, and straight up amazing. I don’t care what anybody says, you’re a great person.” A purple glow illuminated the space between you two, Cross’s blush flaring up with his embarrassment. You shook your head, burying your face back in his top. “I will list things I love about you until you admit how amazing you are.” You didn’t respond, avoiding looking at him as you picked a ball of fuzz off his shirt. “Alright, let’s do this alphabetically… Let’s see….” He hummed, “...Absolutely adorable laugh, beautiful eyes, cheerful-”
You shoved him away with a laugh, heat rising in your face. “ Okay I get it quiet now-”
Cross chuckled, deep voice rumbling your chest some. He settled back into his pillow, readjusting you so your head rested on his shoulder. “You wanna go back to sleep, or go get some cocoa?”
“I’m supposed to choose? ”
“I could go make you cocoa and you could stay in bed, if you want-”
You tugged on his arm as he made to get up, grumbling softly. “Nope. Carry me to the kitchen?” You pulled out your best puppy dog eyes, prompting another laugh from Cross.
He pulled you onto his stomach before standing, easily lifting you. You rested your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder, rejoicing in the louder hum of magic pulsing through his mana lines. The sound, the closest monsters had to a heartbeat, was your favourite- a constant reminder that they were alive, and here with you.
You think you might have drifted back to sleep on Cross’s shoulder, because when you came back to reality, there was a mug of cocoa on the counter in front of you. The marshmallows on top formed a little heart, slowly melting into the brown liquid.
Cross settled next to you, leaning against you as much as he could without toppling you out of the chair. He had his own mug of the drink, swirls of steam swirling around his face in a way that made him look more handsome than he had any right to be.
Companionable silence filled the room while you two sipped your drinks, eventually falling to the quiet of sleep as you two slipped off to dreamland on each other’s shoulders.