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Basil doesn't know what it means to belong. He has never quite fit in anywhere.
He doesn’t really fit in with the boys at school. They always had something to say about how he's weird for liking flowers and plants instead of more… ‘boyish’ things like sports and video games.
He’s often talked down on during P.E. too, something about how he has the physique of a girl. It doesn’t offend him as much as it offends the girls in his class. He knows it’s their way of calling him weak — but those words, though hurtful, had never really struck him in the heart. He tries to be kind; he tries to be patient and not let their bullying get to him.
What's wrong with liking plants anyway? They're much nicer than some people, and plants certainly wouldn't call him mean things like those bullies did.
And people are so complicated, sometimes. Plants are simple in that if you take care of them, they will grow healthily and beautifully; to know when they need water, you just need to check for wilting and dryness in the soil — a simple equation that did not require scrutinizing others’ behaviors for how they feel or how they’d react to your efforts in forming a meaningful bond with them.
More often than not, Basil must’ve been reading it wrong, because his efforts to make friends usually end up with him being called weird or a freak.
His parents have been absent for most of his life. So, for as long as he can remember, his grandma took care of him. She’s gentle and modest. She taught him about the value of self-esteem before others’ opinions. She’s quite the strong woman, emotionally, so he isn’t sure why girls are associated with weakness. If anything, he aspires to be like her.
Strength comes from the heart — that’s what she told him, once, and he supposes it just stuck.
As a result, though, he’s almost always blended in with the girls more. It also helps that he kind of passes as a girl most times. But even girls are hard to make lasting friends with — they usually leave him after a few days of hanging out. He supposes they just lost interest in being friends with him, and that’s okay.
It’s why Basil spent most of his school years in loneliness. That was until a pretty girl in one of his classes approached him and asked if he wanted to sit with her for lunch.
He doesn’t really know her that well, but when she greeted him, he can only focus on the little bow in her hair and thought “cute.” He also might’ve stared for a bit too long, and he thought that he would’ve weirded her out just from that, but she wasn’t. She proceeded to introduce herself.
He learned that her name is Aubrey. Her enthusiasm in speaking somewhat reminded him of the popular girls who also liked to pick on him, so he was a bit skeptical at first, but then she said, “No one really wants to eat with me, and I saw you alone so I thought I’d ask… but it’s okay if you don’t want to.”
Somewhat instinctively, he told her that he does, and the grin on her face is unforgettable.
The last thing he expected was for such a pretty girl like her to be an outcast just like him. She tells him that she just transferred last year and is still having trouble fitting in, and he could understand that, though he had never really fit in for most of his school years anyway.
They soon became close friends. She was quite the outspoken girl, and true to herself. She led most of their conversations — filled mostly with her ramblings and only occasionally would Basil pitch in. That’s how he prefers conversations to go, though.
She would wave to him if they crossed paths to school and accompany each other the way there, and the way back home too. She also defended him from a group of bullies, once. He was cornered by kids who were taller and stronger than him, but she staved them off with a threat.
Now that he thinks back on the memory, he thinks he might’ve been in a slight panic attack at the time because he can’t recall it well. The things he saw and heard then are somewhat of a blur now. Nevertheless, he would remember her gentleness with him.
He learned that she also got bullied by them in the past. They picked on her often and, once, hid her shoe for fun until she ended up crying by the roadside. She told him that some group of kids she didn’t know approached her and comforted her, and that they were all very kind.
She would later introduce him to them, and become the best of friends in their own little circle. They're the most fun people he's ever known.
For the first time, he felt as if he could finally belong somewhere.
Even though Aubrey was his first friend, in the following years, his best friend would have to be Sunny.
Basil’s first impression of him was that he was quite timid. With dark hair and eyes, fair skin, and short stature, he seemed somewhat plain and blended into the background well. Upon knowing him better, perhaps that was an advantage for the boy. He doesn’t seem to like being the center of attention, anyway.
Sunny is a bit shy as he thought, but it only takes warming up for him to get comfortable and friendly with the right people. It also turns out that he’s probably still got more guts than Basil, because as he stares at him tapping away at his GameBoy, legs stretched across the sofa with more pillows than necessary, Mewo napping on his lap.
He glances at Basil and says, “Do you… want to sit?”
Basil freezes up. He considers shaking his head and telling him it’s fine, but Mari and Hero are busying themselves in the kitchen, and Kel and Aubrey were sent off to get snacks from Othermart together… God knows how those two will get back in one piece.
Sunny had stopped looking at him and diverted his attention back to his game. But as Basil timidly approaches him, he puts his feet to the ground, careful to not disturb Mewo’s rest, and scoots over to give him space. Basil thanks him quietly and seats himself next to him. The couch shifts under his added weight.
Basil is clutching the ends of his shirt, visibly rigid when sitting so close to Sunny. Their knees occasionally bump as Sunny shakes his leg in concentration, eyebrows furrowed and biting his lip. Basil peeks at his console curiously. It seems to be a fairly simple 8-bit game where you control some sort of spaceship and battle heart-shaped enemies… huh.
Basil isn’t much into video games, so he didn’t know this is the kind of stuff boys his age would find fun. At any rate, he wouldn’t be into the idea of fighting things even in video games. Still, he supposes he could try to start a conversation with, “What are you playing?”
“The Amazing Adventures of Captain Spaceboy,” Sunny answers curtly.
Basil nods. It kind of seems like something you’d find in arcades. He wonders if Sunny got it from Hobbeez… although there’s little else where you’ll find video games in Faraway Town.
Something breaks Sunny’s attention as he fails to dodge an attack and the words ‘GAME OVER’ pop up on the screen.
Internally, Basil panics, but could only mutter, “Ah… sorry, I think I broke your focus.”
Sunny sighs exasperatedly and reaches a hand down to pet Mewo, stirring her awake in the process. Her soft meow as she opens her eyes and the purr that follows a gentle scratch on her neck makes him smile slightly.
“It’s okay,” he says simply, then begins the game again with one hand, the other being claimed by Mewo.
His score is back to zero and that’s a shame, but in minutes, he’s focused intently on the game again. It doesn’t seem like it ends, though, and Basil internally wonders what’s the point if the goal is just to see how long you can last and how much score you can acquire before eventually dying.
“Do you like video games?” Basil asks without thinking much of it, but then he wonders if it’s a strange question to pose… He wouldn’t know how to explain why he likes the things he does either — he just does. Maybe all hobbies are just a force of habit.
“I guess,” Sunny eventually says with a shrug. “It’s a way to pass the time.”
“R-Right.”
Basil considered ending the conversation there. It’s very obvious that his attempt at ‘small talk’ is failing and that he’ll probably never be good at it. He’s content with sitting in silence with Sunny anyway. His company is somewhat nice… he can’t really put his finger on why, though. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s just so cool and calm and isn’t so explosively talky all the time. Basil wants to say that he is the same, so it feels as if the two just had a natural connection.
But Basil was far more anxious than Sunny. Sunny’s just a little aloof — not quite so nervous at every instance of a social situation. He wishes he could be more like that. Under the aloofness, though, Sunny is deeply caring.
Their friends tend to be far more energetic than them, and expressive with the way they think and feel. Sunny’s a bit closed off in that he doesn’t often show what he’s feeling on his face, but it’s easy to tell that he cares about everyone very much. He’s especially attached to his big sister, and that’s a given, but also Aubrey…
And Basil gets it. She’s very pretty and friendly and easy to get along with, yet he can’t help but feel just a smidge bit jealous when Sunny chooses to talk to her over him when she’s in the room. Oh well, she isn’t here right now.
Just as Basil was becoming absorbed in his thoughts, Sunny says, “...You?”
It takes him a while to figure out that he was asking whether he liked video games. He does suppose that throwing a question back to the asker is basic conversation etiquette…
“Oh,” Basil starts with a shy smile. “I’m not much into video games, but I like reading, and… taking care of my plants.”
That’s the first time he told someone — a boy his age — about said hobby of his. It’s something he gets quite anxious about telling people ever since… well, for as long as he could remember. Gardening was something he picked up sometime during second grade and he’s always been bullied for it, so his experiences with telling people that is… not nice.
But all Sunny does is throw a glance at him and say, “That’s nice.”
“You think so?” He should be more surprised, he thinks, but this is Sunny, and he can’t realistically imagine the boy suddenly turning on him for just a mere hobby. Instinctively, he finds his lips growing into a smile.
“Yeah.” Sunny nods. He isn’t looking at him anymore, but Basil can tell that he’s still listening intently. “You should show us sometimes. The plants, I mean. But you can show your favorite books too,” he adds with a shrug.
“Maybe. I’ll think about it,” Basil mutters, mostly to himself. “I really want to start growing flowers. They’re probably the neater things to show people…”
“What do you grow then?”
“Well… there’s herbs and some small vegetable trees. Just the easier ones to take care of.”
“Hmm.” Sunny hums an affirmative, expression unmoving even as his mouth opens. “And why haven’t you grown flowers?”
Basil looks up and scratches the back of his head. “I’m not sure. I just heard that they require more care, and my grandma thought I should start with some simple vegetable plants to get into gardening. I kinda wish I had a garden of flowers instead of watermelons, though. A field of colorful flowers would be pretty for a humble little home.” He chuckles awkwardly, then adds, “Don’t you think so?”
“Uh-huh,” Sunny nods along. He shoos Mewo off him gently as she drops to the floor. He, too, lowers his GameBoy to reveal that he had reached another game over. “Well, I hope you can have that flower garden.”
Basil swallows a lump in his throat and smiles. That was the first time someone expressed their support for something he genuinely liked, other than his grandma. It feels… nice. Like he actually had a chance to open up and be himself.
And despite his cool exterior, Sunny is unexpectedly warm inside. He could really get on with someone like that.
Within the next moment, Mari calls out from the kitchen.“Sunny! Basil! Do you guys wanna taste test the soup?”
Sunny hops on his feet almost immediately. “Coming!”
Because the truth is that he does have books he wishes to share with everyone. He wants to grow flowers for everyone and show them too.
When he’s with them, he thinks that everything will be okay. He decides he’ll no longer be ashamed of the things he likes. They won’t shun him or leave him — because he’s found a lasting family at last.
“Basil, look over here!”
“Hm?”
A flash of light surprises him when he turns to Mari.
Click!
“Ah…” Basil lets out a breath. He thought his life had flashed before his eyes for a moment. “You could’ve warned me in advance.”
“Don’t you like taking pictures of people when they least expect it, too?”
“Yeah, but…” He sighs, eyebrows drooping like a disappointed puppy. “It doesn’t count as a candid photo if you told me to look at the camera anyway…”
It’s a beautiful day at the park. The sun is about to set, which sets the perfect time to exercise. That’s what Kel said anyway, as he’s now absorbed in a friendly basketball match with Hero. Sunny and Aubrey are hanging out by themselves, not feeling like joining the brothers. Basil had to turn him down too, so he decided to sit under the shade with Mari, nipping at a few leftovers from her basket.
Mari giggles. “Still, I’m really glad you’ve gotten to using it a lot.” She puts the camera down onto the blanket as she picks up the photo book to flip through it, her smile growing at each picture she shifts her eyes on. “Memories of happy times should be cherished because you don’t know if or when they’ll happen again, and it won’t feel the same even if they do. But a picture makes the memory eternal,” she went on, glancing at Basil as she adds, “Right?”
Basil raises his head at her words. “Yeah! Exactly.” It’s almost creepy how well she understood his thoughts without him telling her sometimes, but it also makes him feel comforted that he does not have to communicate them.
Almost suddenly, she folds the book shut and changes the subject. “So, what do you want for your next birthday?”
“Huh? I mean…” He taps his bottom lip. How is she expecting him to answer a question like that? “...I’m sure I’ll like anything if it’s from you, Mari.”
“Okay, but you don’t have anything you want right now?” She presses.
“Something I want…” Basil hums. He could feel her eyes on him, but he refuses to meet them. It’s so embarrassing to be looked at as if his thoughts are being read, even though Mari is likely the most gentle and considerate person he could say he’s friends with. “Well, I’ve been wanting to get my hands on a book about flowers and their meanings.”
A breeze blows past them as Mari considers his words. “I see! How romantic.”
“Romantic…?” Basil turns his head to her dubiously.
“Mhm.” Mari nods with a smile. “Flowers can be used to express what you wish to say without words. In that sense, it’s the language of the flowers. I’d say that’s pretty romantic.”
Basil stays quiet. He has nothing left to say as he stretches his legs on the picnic blanket and wiggles his toes, watching as Kel dunks the ball into the hoop successfully again, followed by a proud cheer and Hero picks the ball back up for him. Sunny and Aubrey are relaxing on the swings — he wonders what they’re talking about.
But well, it sure wouldn’t be concerning him. He knows it’s best to not be nosy about people’s conversations.
The next day, Mari decides to surprise him with the exact book that he wanted.
“But it’s not my birthday?”
“It’s alright, I happened to find this in the bookstore, so I thought I’d get it for you as a surprise!”
Mari is so kind and generous. He really wants a big sister like her. Sunny is so lucky…
Shortly after that, Basil started growing a few potted plants for each of his friends. Lilies of the valley for Mari, roses for Hero, gladioluses for Aubrey, a little cactus for Kel, white tulips for Sunny, and sunflowers for himself.
Although it’d be more instinctive to have Sunny be the sunflower, those white tulips made more sense for him somehow.
Tulips have various different meanings for various different reasons. For example, they could symbolize rebirth because they’re one of the first flowers to bloom in spring. They could also represent perfect love due to ties with folktales from abroad.
To any extent, tulips represent many beautiful things in this world. Love, rebirth — and to him, Sunny is as perfect as the growing little buds that he keeps in his room.
Naturally, he loves all of his friends. They’re the most fun, kind, accepting people he’s ever met. But Sunny was the first person he truly felt a spark with, who understood him as much as Basil understood him too. He would make sure to take extra good care of the tulips so that they will bloom beautifully.
It was raining that morning.
Kel had called him up to play in the rain. Basil doesn’t really know what’s the point, but he wouldn’t turn down a chance to hang out with him, Aubrey, and Sunny. He puts on his green raincoat and brings a matching green umbrella.
He headed to Sunny’s house first — he wore a blue raincoat with a matching blue umbrella. Basil supposes that everyone was going to wear their own color. They ended up taking a detour to play pet rocks, though.
Basil lost, but he didn’t mind. He liked seeing Sunny cheer in happiness. He’s typically quite shy with his expressions, so just seeing his eyes brighten up and a smile stretch across his lips is a very pleasant change.
Also, lately, he’s felt especially nervous when he’s around him. Nothing’s changed between them, though. As they’re walking under their umbrellas side-by-side, Basil’s hand brushes against his and Sunny takes it in his palm.
It sends his heart beating just slightly faster. This is a friendly gesture that they’ve been on for a while whenever they’re walking like this, talking about nothing in particular but the air is comfortable, even as trickles of rainwater drop on his hair and the cold wind threatens to blow their umbrellas away.
Eventually, they met up with Kel and Aubrey. The latter is very excited about getting to wear her new pink raincoat, and she asked for Basil to take a picture of her. He complies, of course, and tries to snap a good one.
Click!
While waiting for the photo to process, Aubrey and Kel started bickering about whether the color pink was gross. Basil smiles. He supposes these two will always be arguing about little insignificant things.
“Oh, Sunny! That reminds me!” Aubrey beams, turning to him. “Mari and I were talking about dying our hair together. Mari says she’s going to dye her hair purple.”
“P-P-Purple!?” Kel exclaims in slight devastation.
“You wanna know what color I chose?”
“Wait… Are you saying you wanna dye your hair… pink!?” Kel grimaces with his tongue stuck out. “Ewww… that’s weird… Why would you ever do that?”
Aubrey huffs.“I don’t know… I just thought it would be cute! Mari thinks so too!” She has one hand on her hip while the other holds onto her umbrella tight. Basil chuckles.
“I think pink would look good on you, Aubrey,” he chimes, then walks over to his best friend’s side, idly watching the conversation go down. “What do you think, Sunny?”
He nods. “Pink is a great color.”
“See, even Basil and Sunny agree.” Aubrey grins in a declaration of victory. “You’re the one who’s weird, Kel!”
Kel makes a dismissive gesture with his free hand. “Psh… Whatever…”
The two continue bickering about whatever, but Basil tunes it out as he takes the photo that was finally printed.
Aubrey looks as pretty as ever, winking in such a naturally charming way. He’s sure that she’ll be attracting a lot of guys when they’re a bit older. Oh, and Kel’s in the background in an attempt to photobomb her…
Basil presses his lips in a tight, straight line. Maybe she’s already charmed someone who happens to be walking over to him, and he lifts his head to glance at his best friend, looking over curiously at the picture in his hand.
“What is it, Sunny? Did you want to see the photo?”
He hands him the polaroid and watches as Sunny stares at the subject with a lingering gaze, pupils dilating slightly. It’d be harder to detect if he were anyone else, but Basil knows him very well. The boy has obviously fallen for her.
Still, he forces himself to smile as he continues, “You always ask to look at my photo whenever I take any pictures of Aubrey. Do I… maybe… sense a little crush?”
Sunny’s ears turn red as a blush spreads across his face.
He looked cute, and it felt awful to admit that about his best friend who likes his other friend.
Basil decides to cover the pang in his chest with a giggle. “Hehe… Don’t worry, I won’t say anything! My lips are sealed,” he says — a promise.
Then Sunny turns away and regroups with the other two.
So it’s true.
Basil sighs. He thought so, anyway.
Then why does it hurt?
The truth is that Basil likes him too, and it’s unfair how Sunny has never seemed to realize it.
It just stings knowing the truth that Sunny likes someone else, and stings even more to accept the reality. If Aubrey liked him back, then what?
Basil would be happy for him, but he knows he can’t deny the aching in his heart. He is utterly smitten with his best friend who cannot return his feelings.
…This is too much to think about for a rainy day in spring.
Basil swallows the lump in his throat and joins the rest. He’ll endure as he always does.
He didn’t realize that Sunny had already gone on by himself. To Kel and Aubrey, he had been standing under the umbrella frozen like a statue for the past few minutes. This is probably why he’s a weirdo to most people.
He was already fortunate to have such accepting friends. He can’t help but mourn that he can’t be more than a friend to Sunny, though.
Gender had always been a convoluted thing for Basil.
It’s not as if he hates his body, though — he’s quite fine with it. He just… doesn’t feel very much like a boy, but also not entirely a girl.
Perhaps it’s just due to the way he grew up. He never got along with boys his age other than Sunny and Kel (somewhat), so he spent most of his time with girls, except they also tend to shun him after finding out that he’s male. What was the big deal with separating the two anyway?
He thinks that things like liking sports shouldn’t be associated with boys only, in the same sense that liking flowers shouldn’t be associated with girls only. He also thinks that the perception that blue is a boy's color and pink is a girl's color is a little silly. And what does it matter if a boy wants to wear skirts? It’s just a piece of clothing, isn’t it?
Said thoughts were never really expressed because everyone would call him weird — because he didn’t think the same as everyone else.
He used to be bullied for liking ‘girl things.’ He doesn’t really know what they are. He’s Basil, and he likes what he likes. He’s also likened to girls because of his physical weakness. He doesn’t think that’s true, but he admits that he may not quite be a boy in the sense that he is different from everyone else who wore pants, who liked sports and video games, who cut their hair short, and those who are stronger than the opposite sex. Still, he doesn’t understand why concepts like these couldn’t be accepted as is.
Sunny, Aubrey, Kel, Hero, and Mari have been the most accepting people he knows. He has not even told his grandma about it, but he figured that his friends may take it better regardless.
“Wait, so…” Kel pinches his chin, eyebrow raised. “If you’re not a boy, but also not a girl, then… what are you?”
Aubrey gasps almost dramatically. “Kel! You can’t just ask it like that!”
The boy looks at her confusedly. “Huh? Why not? It’s a genuine question.”
“Ugh, you’re so… dense!” She pulls her hair in frustration to hold herself back from hitting him instead, but then looks at Basil in concern. “You don’t have to answer him, Basil. In fact, you can just pretend he’s not in the room.”
“W-What?!” Kel seems taken aback by that, huffing and crossing his arms. “Hmph, you’re just being mean to me again, Aubrey!”
Hero’s awkward chuckle breaks the tension between them. “Alright, alright. Settle down. Why don’t we let Basil decide if he wants to answer it or not?” He’s always been the most level-headed and reasonable one between them all, and Mari shoots a glance at him in approval.
Basil laughs. “Thanks, Hero. And don’t worry Aubrey, it doesn’t offend me.”
He cradles his hands in his lap as everyone had their eyes on him, listening intently to what he has to say. It’s nerve-wracking.
“I’m… somewhere in between, I guess? It’s just never been a big deal for me, so I just want people to see it that way too.” A sad smile crosses his lips. “O-Of course, I’m still the same Basil, so you can just treat me like normal…” Basil buries his head into his hands, vaguely mortified. “Please don’t think I’m weird.”
There’s a brief silence between the group, but Kel is the one who speaks up first as he pops another chip into his mouth. “I don’t really get it, but good for you, I think!”
Aubrey rolls her eyes. “Honestly, if you have nothing better to say, you should just be quiet.”
“That’s perfectly understandable, Basil! Nothing weird about it,” Mari chimes.
“Yeah, this doesn’t change anything,” Hero follows.
“Mm-hm,” Sunny adds. It’s just a hum that makes his heart pound faster.
Then, Aubrey is tackling him in a bear hug. “We love you, Basil!”
He yelps, but it was quickly drowned as everyone else came in a group hug. It’s kind of suffocating, but also kind of nice.
Is this what having a home felt like? It feels warm; it feels like belonging. He never thought he would feel something like that since the moment he was born — he was always an outcast. But so was Aubrey, and everyone came together in solidarity formed of nothing but love and acceptance.
It feels good, and for once, Basil lets himself break into happy tears.
“Thank you, guys. I love you too.”
“Hero, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“When did you realize you liked Mari?”
Hero blinks in surprise. Basil blinks back, confused.
“...It’s fine if you don’t wanna answer that either,” the younger eventually says, turning his head away shyly.
Hero bursts in chuckles, ruffling his hair a bit — an affectionate gesture he’s grown accustomed to when it comes to the older boy. “It’s alright! I just didn’t expect that kind of question.”
“What do you mean by that?” Basil asks innocently.
“Well, it’s something someone more like… Aubrey would ask.” Hero raises his shoulders in a noncommittal shrug. Basil hates to admit that the mere mention of her name puts a sour taste in his mouth, pouting slightly. “I didn’t expect you to be the type to be curious about things like that is all.”
Hero seemed to think about it briefly, a first pressed against his lips in thought.
“It’s a little corny, but I guess I liked her since the moment I met her,” he explains. “I think I only realized it after we became close, though.”
“How did you know she liked you back?”
Hero shakes his head but a fond smile makes its way on his face. “I didn’t. Not for sure, anyway. She always teased me, so it was hard to tell if she was actually interested in me or just playing around with me.”
“And… when you… confessed,” Basil starts, apprehensive. “Were you afraid of ruining your friendship?”
“Oh, yeah.” Hero nods. “I mean, that’s how most rejected confessions go. Thankfully that didn’t happen.”
“Were you nervous?” He asks again.
“Definitely. I was stuttering a lot even though I rehearsed it many times… in my head, anyway.” Hero had this stupid grin while he talked about Mari that started showing as he recalls those times, but disappeared instantaneously as it’s replaced by a knowing smirk instead. “I’m curious as to why you’re asking these questions, though…”
Basil jumps in place, tensing up as he fiddles with his fingers. “W-Well, I just wanted to know…”
The older boy looks at him for two straight seconds before laughing lightly. “Just kidding. You don’t have to explain it to me if you don’t want to.” A large palm comes on his head again, stroking gently. “You can always rely on me if you need advice, though.”
“Maybe,” Basil says, quietly. His voice was hovering above a whisper and Hero only barely caught it.
“All I can say is…” he starts, trailing off to make the younger boy look at him before continuing, “If you’re thinking of confessing to someone, you should do it before you lose your chance. You don’t know who else might be chasing after… him.”
Hero winks knowingly and Basil’s lips twist into something close to a frown. Perhaps he wasn’t being as subtle as he thought.
He isn’t the absolute closest to Hero, but the older boy is quite attentive, so maybe Basil has let something slip out without others, including himself, realizing. Or maybe he just picked up on the way he looked at Sunny for prolonged moments, sometimes… He thought he was good at pretending he felt nothing for him other than the perfectly normal and platonic feeling towards a friend.
He nods anyway, because he doesn’t know how else to respond to advice like that. And… well, he thinks he’s right, but anxiety tends to get the better of him. He feels fully comfortable with Sunny until he does or says something to send his heart fluttering and his cheeks burning up.
In a way, Hero is much like a big brother to the younger kids. Well, he is a big brother to Kel, but he also treats him, Sunny, and Aubrey like his little siblings. Basil supposes that was something in common he had with Mari. Maybe that’s why they got on so well. Following that line of thought, would he still have a chance with Sunny?
No, that’s absurd. He still likes Aubrey. He wouldn’t want to selfishly take him from her either. But does she even like him too? It’s so convoluted — this tangled mess of feelings needed to ‘get together.’ And even that sounds absurd in Basil’s head. They’re just kids, after all, but Hero said so confidently that he should take his chance…
…This is why he prefers plants over people.
He ended up taking Hero’s advice anyway as he made his way to Sunny’s house. Halfway there, though, he stops and wonders why he’s doing this. It’s such a bad idea that he would’ve just slapped himself across the face already.
But he keeps going.
Eventually, he arrives at Sunny’s front door. He knows that Mari isn’t home since she has piano lessons around this time, so he can only hope that the one who will answer his knock is the boy he wants to see.
To no surprise, the head that peeks out of the door is a bed of messy, dark hair with equally dark eyes. Just looking at Sunny makes his heart flutter in a way that he can’t explain. He has never felt that before.
He considers chickening out for all but a split second, but then says, “Do you want to go to the park with me?”
Sunny blinks at him. “Just the two of us…?”
“Yeah. Aubrey, Kel, and Hero all seem to be held up by their own things, and…” Basil pauses, swallowing the lump that forms in his throat. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Sunny exhales a quiet breath as he seems to consider the invitation for a moment. He isn’t really the type of kid who likes to go outside and hang out without a solid reason. Besides, Sunny is usually most excited to be with all their friends together.
Basil is the same, but he makes an exception for Sunny. He’s always been the exception.
“O-Of course, it’s fine if you don’t w—”
“Okay.”
So they go to the park.
It’s a little less crowded than it usually would be around this time of day. It’s nearing dusk and the gentle sunlight feels nice on his skin, brushing his knees and cheeks.
The swings are unused, so Basil lowers himself on the rusty seat as his hands find purchase on the ropes. Sunny follows him, taking the swing beside him. It feels like they’re in their own world when this familiar, comfortable silence settles between them.
But Basil does not let himself float away and get carried by the tide of this dream yet.
“There aren’t many people here right now,” he states the obvious. “I wonder why?”
“Who knows…” Sunny replies nonchalantly. “That’s a good thing though, isn’t it?”
They say nothing else as Sunny watches Basil pull the swing back as far as he can, then lift his feet as he lets himself sway through the wind.
It felt nice. It felt like letting go of a burden he’s held onto for so long. Yet the tightness in his chest remains, and the subtle aching in his heart is hard to deny, too.
He’s alone with Sunny. The scene is set. Why is he hesitating now?
Deep down, he knows this’ll end badly. He shouldn’t expect anything out of a confession — Sunny’s heart belongs to someone else. He’s accepted that. Maybe he hopes that it’ll lift the heavy feeling in his chest, but he doesn’t know. He’s never felt a feeling as intense as this.
“You must be nervous for tomorrow,” Basil says, a bead of sweat dripping down his temple.
“...Yeah,” Sunny blurts. He doesn’t elaborate.
Basil gets it — he does. He also had quite a terrible stage fright, so he could never imagine being a performer. It took him by surprise when Sunny told him that he actually wanted to pick up the violin to play at recitals with his sister. That’s when Basil secretly told everyone else and constructed a plan to get him a brand new violin as a collective Christmas present last year.
But as time went on, Basil started to wonder if Sunny really enjoys playing the violin or if it was actually just so that he could perform with Mari. Maybe it was always about her, for him. He always had a certain scowl on his face whenever he would have to leave early from their little get-togethers, watching TV on Saturday mornings to practice. It’s not much compared to Mari’s schedule — she practices almost every day.
Basil chuckles, trying to ease the air as his feet land on the ground, stopping the swing. “It’s okay, Sunny. I’m sure you and Mari will do great,” he reassures. “I believe in you guys!”
Sunny is swaying back and forth on his swing slightly, feet barely above the ground. A smile comes on his lips at Basil’s words. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”
Sunny isn’t someone who smiles often. He’s always been rather shy with expressing emotions, but Basil is his best friend. He doesn’t need to smile or frown to tell him how he’s feeling. So whenever he does smile, Basil knows it’s genuine, and it sends his heart fluttering with newfound vigor.
Now, it’s threatening to jump out of his chest.
So he takes the plunge and says it.
“Sunny, I like you.”
There’s a brief second of silence as the other boy blinks. “Um, I like you too,” Sunny says, all too easily; all too innocently.
Basil chews his bottom lip. For a moment, he thought about ending it there. This was such a bad, bad idea, but he couldn’t stop himself from adding, “As more than a friend.”
Silence. Sunny’s eyes widen for a brief moment, but the surprise on his face disappears as he blinks. “Oh.”
Basil stomps his feet on the dirt ground below, swinging back and forth only slightly as he allowed the feeling of both relief and mortification to wash over him. He really said it just like that. He couldn’t believe himself. He was probably blushing furiously right now. Perhaps it was a conscious decision that Sunny bore his eyes into the side of his face, but doesn’t say anything about it.
“Uh,” Sunny starts after a while, his voice much quieter than it already is usually. “I-I’m flattered, I guess, but…” Oh, this is incredibly awkward. Basil is regretting this already. He shuts his eyes tight, as if that would prevent the inevitable rejection. “You’re my best friend, Basil, and I think… it’d be better if things stayed that way.”
Ah, there it is.
Basil’s fists clench on his lap. Why did he do this, again?
A sigh escapes him — he’d been holding his breath for no reason. He knew this would happen. It was quite impossible for Sunny to react any differently.
Still, the fact of simply knowing what would happen does not relieve the pain in his heart, beating between his ribs, and now he just feels it more intensely as it surfaces on his entire being.
Sunny didn’t seem to pick up on it, though, and Basil decides to force a smile. “Y-Yeah, I know. I just… thought I should tell you.”
A pathetic way to say, “I don’t know how to keep it inside anymore. My feelings for you are overwhelming and it stings every time I see you with Aubrey and I thought that being honest with you would relieve it but it doesn’t, because my chest has never felt this tight and Hero didn’t tell me it would hurt this much but you and Mari are supposed to be performing at the recital tomorrow but I don’t even think I can look at you without it hurting like this yet I still like you. I like you so much but I’m not Aubrey and she’s such a lucky girl for you to look at her the way I wish you looked at me too because you never noticed how I did and I just want to go home now.”
He tries not to cry. He tries really, really hard, but it gets more difficult with every passing second in tense silence. Normally, he would be okay with simply being with Sunny in comfortable silence, except this is anything but comfortable and he’s really trying to not let the tears spill yet, if just for a final sense of holding on.
He knows that Sunny wouldn’t know what to do either. He just made things awkward between them and possibly ruined their whole friendship too because there is no possible way that things would be the same again between them. He knows it, and it’s just now that he feels the regret creep up his back.
Eventually, Basil musters everything in him to stand. The swing’s seat sways behind him as he got on his feet. “I’ll just go. Thanks for coming out here with me.”
Before he could start to walk away, though, Sunny grabs his wrist. “Wait!” Basil nearly jumps at the contact. It feels so rigid and not right. He suppresses the panic that’s starting to rise in him. He can’t break down here.
“...What?”
It’s such a cold, single-worded question, and Sunny looks at him with something close to devastation. So he noticed it too. Good. Was he twisted for thinking that?
“We’re still friends, right?”
The answer comes out of Basil easily — too easily and very much fabricated. “Of course.”
He flashes a smile at him for the last time before he forcefully releases the grip on his wrist and walks away, his steps getting faster as he disappears from Sunny’s view.
As soon as he arrived home, he does not speak a word as he makes his way up to his room, locked the door behind him, falls to the ground, and cries until his tears dry up.
He hadn’t noticed it, but one of the potted tulips in a row by his window had wilted, too, leaving a single petal on the floor.