Chapter Text
Jeremy's heart was in his throat the entire time he played the scrimmage. He had nearly fought Jean to let him back through the court. How the other boy was able to walk away from his partner so calmly knowing exactly the type of harm that would befall him baffled Jeremy.
Jean, of course, had taken Jeremy's desperate behaviour in his stride. He had simply grabbed Jeremy by the neck, pulled his head in close and whispered "you will make everything worse for all three of us if you do not stop this foolishness now."
Jeremy's stomach filled with butterflies at the way Jean held his neck, despite the situation. Jeremy very quickly filed the feeling away in a little box in his mind called "stuff to not think about."
In the end, he deflated and conceded defeat, resting his head lightly on Jeans shoulder. He seemed to be admitting defeat to Jean a lot recently.
Jean, apparently satisfied that Jeremy was not going to "play the hero" anytime soon, removed his hand from Jeremy's neck and stalked off to his position on court.
The game passed in a blur. Jeremy was aware that he was playing badly, but he couldn't help it. Nathaniel was probably back in the showers, with Johnson and at least half the rest of the team. No one deserved the things Nathaniel was going through today, but all Jeremy could think of was the fact that the kid was fifteen. He was the same age as Jeremy's younger sister, a thought that frequently nearly made him sick when observing Nathaniel's treatment in the Nest.
Riko seemed to be taking joy in Jeremy's incompetence, smirking sadistically every time another member of the team bowled him over or stole the ball from him.
Jean, of course, was playing perfectly fine. Jeremy wouldn't lie, he found the other boys behaviour disturbing, but it looked like he tried to protect Nathaniel in his own strange way, and Jeremy didn't want to undermine that. It seemed that no matter what was done, Riko would have his way, and it was simply easier to have him get it over and done with. Jeremy still didn't understand how Jean could be so calm about everything, but he was well aware by now that he had no clue just how deep the darkness of the Ravens team ran. Jean had been living in it a lot longer than him, and, as much as he hated it, he had no real choice but to trust the other boys plan of action.
Kevin, like Jean, was a stone wall. Jeremy didn't know what to think of Kevin anymore. He'd joined the team partially because he really admired the dark haired striker, and he had wanted to sign himself to a team that could guarantee him Kevin's skill level. After seeing what that skill cost Nathaniel and Jean, Jeremy was certain Kevin was living in his own personal version of hell.
The other two boys seemed to have a deep-seated hatred for Kevin though, especially Nathaniel. He had briefly explained to Jeremy that Kevin, while a step down from Riko, was well above everyone else on the heirarchy. Nathaniel seemed convinced that he suffered no physical punishments, an opinion which seemed to rub on him like salt on a wound .
Jeremy wasn't so sure if Nathaniel was right though. He'd seen the way Kevin flinched away from Riko when he so much as twitched unexpectedly. Kevin's stoic silence and never-ending criticism also reminded him of Jean in some ways. After all, Jeans methods of coping looked sincerely like sociopathy when observed from a distance. On the other hand, Kevin never seemed to use his position to even attempt to help anyone else, while Jean was constantly defending Nathaniel in his own strange way. Kevin however, had not once spoken up for Jean or Nathaniel, instead silently averting his eyes whenever Riko abused them. He was quick to anger, and likely to lord his status over his teammates head in order to get what he wanted. Jeremy hadn't had a chance to talk to the striker himself yet, and so felt he should reserve judgement, at least for the moment. He found that Kevin made this difficult sometimes, what with his high and mighty attitude.
It seemed like a century before the bell sounded, signalling the end of today's practice. Jeremy immediately sprinted out the court door, not even bothering to drop his racquet.
He rounded the corner to the showers so fast he nearly fell over himself. It looked like most of the team had already cleared out, but Johnson and Williams were still there, standing over Nathaniel's curled up body.
He looked so small, Jeremy thought.
Johnson pulled up his shorts and turned to see Jeremy. He smirked. Jeremy tried to take some satisfaction from the fact that Johnson's eye was turning a nasty shade of black, but all he could feel was icy dread.
"Hope you had a good game Knox," Johnson leered on his way out, patting Jeremy on the shoulder. Williams snickered as he followed the other boy out, and for a split second Jeremy considered smashing their heads off the wall until their brains were left splattered across the tile. Just as he was about to allow himself to act on the impulse, Nathaniel let out a pitiful whine.
The younger boy was trying to push himself up, but his arms were trembling badly, and he kept nearly hitting his head off the floor. Jeremy rushed over to his side, throwing his racquet across the floor and sliding to his knees across the tiled floor next to the redhead. He reached out to help Nathaniel up before hesitating, remembering how the backliner had reacted last time Jeremy had touched him.
Just as he was debating his next move, Jean appeared. He too was still in his gear, and holding his racquet. Jeremy looked at him in desperation.
Jean seemed to freeze in the doorway to the showers for a second, before quickly regaining his composure. He crossed the room to Nathaniel in a few short strides, and knelt by the younger boy's side next to Jeremy.
"Nat?" He asked quietly. Nathaniel didn't react to his name at all, just continued mindlessly in his futile journey to stand up.
Nat," Jean tried again, slightly louder. Again, Nathaniel didn't seem to hear him. Jeremy wondered suddenly if he'd been concussed.
He voiced his fears to Jean who shook his head slowly.
"He just... Gets like this sometimes, when it's all too much," Jean said grimly. "It's not a good sign."
"What do we do then?" Jeremy asked.
Jean sighed, and pushed himself up.
"Pick him up," he said to Jeremy.
"Are you sure?" Jeremy asked, remembering again how Nathaniel had reacted in this showers earlier.
Jean shrugged. "I need to get him to our room, and he's certainly not walking. We don't have much of a choice," he said bluntly.
"What about the team doctors?" Jeremy asked hesitantly.
Jean snorted. "They are a last resort," he said.
Jeremy nodded solemnly. He stood himself, and then observed Nathaniel for a second, trying to figure out the best way to pick him up.
Nathaniel had stopped trying to stand, and had instead curled himself into a small ball. His eyes were wide, and staring at nothing.
Jeremy finally decided to just pick the other boy up bridal style; it would be easiest on his arms. He did just that in one swift movement, and then turned to Jean. Luckily, Nathaniel was out of it enough that he didn't seem to register the touch. Jeremy felt gross for crossing Nathaniel's boundaries in such a way, but, like Jean said, they didn't have much choice.
Jean turned around and began walking to his and Nathaniel's room without a word. Luckily they didn't meet anyone in the halls on the way there. Jeremy really wasn't sure what he would do if Riko, or any other member of the team, appeared right now.
Upon entering the pairs room, Jean swiftly locked the door behind them. In all honesty, Jeremy was surprised the door locked at all.
Jean walked straight to the bathroom without pause.
"Put him on his bed," he called over his shoulder to Jeremy.
"Wouldn't it be easier to reach him if he was on yours instead?" Jeremy asked, placing Nathaniel on the top bunk anyways.
Jean returned from the bathroom and shook his head slightly. "Its better if he's in his own space when he wakes up," he said, much quieter now that he was standing next to Jeremy.
Jean had pulled a first aid kit out of who knows where. He lay it across his own bed , and knelt down to sort through it. Jeremy, suddenly feeling incredibly useless, began to pace the room, just to give himself something to do.
"Will he be alright?" He asked. It felt like a stupid question, but he couldn't stop himself from saying it.
Jean let out a snort. "As alright as he can be in this place I suppose," he replied, laying a roll of bandages next to his pillow.
Nathaniel's legs were littered with tiny scratches, most likely from the tiled surfaces of the bathrooms. His knees especially looked like they had been mauled by a cheese grater. Jean began to gently dab them with an antiseptic wipe.
Jeremy continued to talk to Jean, desperate to distract himself. He was aware that he was being somewhat selfish, Nathaniel needed Jean's full attention right now, but he couldn't help himself.
He was halfway through asking Jean why the team doctor's couldn't be trusted when Nathaniel came to.
"Stop," he croaked pitifully. Jean immediately lifted the wipe away from the younger boys skin, and Jeremy paused mid-stride.
"Nat," Jean said. "Blink twice if you want us to leave you alone."
Jeremy couldn't see what happened from where he was across the room, but Jean nodded and let out a breath.
"We're staying," he said as he turned to Jeremy. "But keep your distance."
Jean continued into the bathroom to put the first aid kit away.
Jeremy hesitantly took a step towards the bed before remembering Jean's warning.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. He could have, and should have, prevented this whole thing, and it sickened him to his core that he had allowed himself to do nothing while Nathaniel was being raped in the bathroom.
Nathaniel looked Jeremy blankly in the eye for a second before rolling over and curling into a ball.
Jean re-emerged from the bathroom.
"You two can't keep living like this," Jeremy said to him quietly.
Jean sat on his bed and sighed, holding his head with one hand and running the other through his hair.
"We have lasted this long," was his only response.
Jeremy sat on the floor in front of him.
"I promise you," he said fiercely. "I will put an end to this. I won't be able to live with myself otherwise."
Jean looked at him, his expression indecipherable. He pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes and sighed.
"Okay," he whispered back. He let out a quiet, desperate laugh. "If you say so."
"I do," Jeremy said, resting his hand on Jean's knee. Jean removed his hands from his eyes and looked at Jeremy's hand for what felt like forever.
"You're too good for this place," he muttered. "We don't deserve you, me and Nat. And I don't think you deserve us either."
Jeremy shrugged. "Life's not about what you deserve," he said. "It's about doing what you can with what you have."
Jean looked him in the eye. He shook his head slightly, and swung his legs onto his bed so he was lying down, knocking Jeremy's hand off his leg in the process. The three boys stayed in silence for the rest of the night.