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KEVIN
“I told you, I was planning to just enjoy my summer vacation at the comforts of my home this year.”
“That’s not very like you, Kevin,” Jacob said through the phone. He heard his best friend sigh, knowing far too well Kevin wasn’t the type of person to “stay home” especially for a whole summer vacation.
But ever since his break-up with his ex-boyfriend, Kevin barely left home. Despite saying that he was okay, Jacob knew better. He knew Kevin enough to know when he was feeling down. It’s been two months, and Jacob didn’t like seeing his friend in this state of disarray. It just wasn’t like Kevin.
So Jacob had thought of a plan to bring Kevin to the summer camp he usually goes to — being away from the city might be good for Kevin — but inviting him was harder than expected.
“Come on, Kev,” Jacob said, cutely pleading through the phone. “I’ll be there and we haven’t seen each other in years.”
“We saw each other last week,” Kevin pointed out. Jacob could almost hear his best friend rolling his eyes.
“What’s in it for me?” Kevin asked, just as Jacob was about to give up. Jacob tried to control his excitement from coming through, not wanting to scare his best friend from saying yes.
“Well, apart from a fun summer teaching children — I know you like playing with kids — you’ll also get to enjoy the amenities of the camp and the resort all summer for free,” Jacob said. If that wasn’t enough to convince Kevin that summer camp was worth going to, then he didn’t know what else to do. He kept his fingers crossed, wishing in his head for Kevin to say yes.
“And, if that doesn’t sell it for you, there won’t be any ex-boyfriends. That I promise you.”
“There better not be,” Jacob heard a sigh, before Kevin added, “Fine, but better give me a room with a good view.”
“I’ll give you the best one,” Jacob said, before hanging up the phone.
YOUNGHOON
“I can’t believe the only reason you’re back is because you’ve been broken up with,” Sangyeon said, watching as his friend unpacked the box of his things in a small studio apartment Sangyeon had to rush to find just so that Younghoon would have somewhere to stay once he came back (which was barely a week after he asked Sangyeon a favor). If they hadn’t been friends for years, Sangyeon would’ve ignored him — though he knew Jaehyun would probably have let Younghoon stay at their place if he hadn’t found Younghoon a place to stay in.
He shook his head at all the possibilities his brother and bestfriend could think of with each other against him, and focused himself on where Younghoon was.
“I didn’t move back just because I was broken up with,” Younghoon answered, “but I guess that sealed the decision,” he added with a shrug of his shoulders.
Sangyeon rolled his eyes, deciding to order in food for them, knowing they’d probably take a while catching up — because unpacking would probably take only minutes with Younghoon only sporting a box and a bag of things.
“So why did you break up this time?” Sangyeon asked, looking at a small artifact he wasn’t sure the purpose of was. He placed it back on the table, staring at Younghoon to indicate that he was waiting for an answer.
His friend was quiet for a while before saying, “They said it didn’t feel like I was 100% into the relationship ,” he sighed, adding. “Like I was still hung up from an old relationship.”
“And are you?” Sangyeon asked, remembering Younghoon’s first real relationship he only heard little about. Despite that, Sangyeon knew Younghoon really liked the guy, despite only being in a relationship for a short amount of time.
Younghoon had a far away look when Sangyeon looked at him again. In his hands was a picture frame of himself — taken allegedly by this ex-lover he still wasn’t over with. He was smiling, as if reminded of the time they had been together.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Sometimes I think I am, and then I remember him and I wonder if I still like him just because I haven’t seen him in a while, or if there are actual feelings still left. I want to see him again, but I know I can’t. I don’t know where he is, or how to reach him.”
“You decided to study abroad just to see him,” Sangyeon whispered. “That's serious and you’ve never even told me anything about him.”
He smirked, shrugging. “It’s not like I’d see him again; I gave up on the prospect already. There’s no use introducing a stranger you’d never meet,” he answered.
Younghoon stood up from the floor, passing Sangyeon a couple of things he wanted to place in the small kitchen, successfully directing the conversation elsewhere. Sangyeon didn’t ask or talk about this ex-lover further, knowing Younghoon probably didn’t like being reminded of what he lost and couldn’t get back.
KEVIN
The truth was, Kevin wasn’t really hung up on his ex. Sure, breaking up was an unfortunate situation, but what made Kevin closed off wasn’t the fact that they had broken up, it was the fact that he lost another good guy and he wondered if he actually deserved to love someone if, at the end of the day, all that happened was them leaving.
He wanted to believe things could work out for him, but it was hard to swallow when everything else he tried ended up leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.
His relationships could be summed up to ending before it even began. He wasn’t the type to fall in love quickly, and would often get into the relationship even before he liked the person thinking that they would be given enough time to be able to fall in love with each other anyway. Kevin realized the hard way that wasn’t the case.
There was Lee Jaehyun, who had fallen in love with someone else when Kevin had just started falling for him, ending the relationship not wanting to hurt Kevin by staying with him yet knowing he liked someone else. Kevin thanked him for that, but his heart broke nonetheless, hoping he would’ve at least tried it with him. There was Jacob, who, though he didn’t really date, he had grown feelings for, only to be told that he was dating this guy who owned the summer camp he was part-timing in. They’ve been together since, with Kevin never admitting that he had liked Jacob, and though he didn’t like Jacob that way anymore, it was hard being reminded of what you could’ve had when the person is always around you. Then there was the one Kevin just broke up with, Lee Juyeon. Someone who wasn’t able to wait for Kevin to sort out his feelings.
Kevin wondered if these were all rooted somewhere. Was he just unable to fall in love, or did his heart still belong to the person who made him fall in love first — his winter lover? Named as such because their relationship only lasted over the winter, but it was the relationship Kevin was most proud of, because it was the relationship that taught him what love was.
Kevin had met him at a music camp he was participating in. He wasn’t a musician, just a server at the buffet hall that the music camp had rented for the entirety of the event. He didn’t remember how they managed to fall in love but in the midst of breakfast, and the server putting extra strawberries on his pancakes, Kevin realized he liked this guy, and would like to keep seeing him.
After the camp ended, they decided to spend the rest of winter together, and even after winter ended they promised they’d be together despite living on other sides of the globe, but winter melted into spring, and they both realized long-distance wasn’t for either of them. Not wanting to hurt or hate each other, they decided to break it off — the tips of their fingers still hesitant to let go.
It had been five years since and at the back of his head, Kevin still hoped that one day he’d see him again. He even decided to study in one of the universities in his home city just to make it easier for them to see each other, but in those five years they never saw each other again.
Kevin didn’t have a way to contact him, so at the end of the day, he just didn’t. Besides, he told himself, it was time to finally move on.
YOUNGHOON
“Wake up, we’re going to camp.”
Younghoon groggily opened his eyes, squinting his eyes just as Sangyeon opened the curtains of his room. He cleared his throat, asking about what camp they were talking about.
“We talked about this last week,” Sangyeon pointed out. “Don’t pretend you don’t remember.”
As if on cue, their conversation last week resurfaced in Younghoon’s mind and he did remember agreeing to help with running summer camp that year especially since Jaehyun was planning to bring his new boyfriend — one that was dubbed as “the one”, a rare occurrence for someone like Lee Jaehyun — so Younghoon wanted to be there to celebrate or tease his friend.
What he didn’t expect was to be woken up at god-knows-what-time of the day.
He reached for his phone and stared at the time, groaning.
“It’s too early!” he complained.
Sangyeon pulled his blanket away from him and scoffed. “It’s 9am,” he pointed out. “Now, get up or we’re going to be late.”
KEVIN
Kevin didn’t know why he was feeling nervous. He thought it was probably just because he hadn’t been to this camp ever and all the possibilities running in his head about what could happen made him nervous — it definitely kept him up all night. Despite thinking it’ll pass once he was in Jacob’s car, it didn’t. The closer they got to the venue, the more skittish Kevin felt.
He was almost sure he was going to throw up, but soon enough, Jacob had pulled over the curb.
There were a lot of people when Kevin walked out of the car. Mostly kids who were sending off their parents with one last wave of goodbye, to finally be able to get inside the camp. There were also a lot of older people, probably, like Kevin, working for the camp that summer as well.
Despite the multitude of people around, Kevin found himself zoning onto two people which made him want to curse.
He glared at Jacob who looked flushed as well, as if seeing who Kevin was seeing, and feeling guilty.
Kevin sighed, as Jacob’s promise of having no exes present in the camp was broken twenty minutes in, because standing just at the entrance was Lee Jaehyun, hand around a pretty boy’s shoulder. He wasn’t entirely mad seeing Jaehyun. They had broken up a few years ago, and he had heard from the grapevine that Jaehyun was seeing someone seriously — a first, from what Kevin knew of Jaehyun. But he definitely wasn’t sure how to handle seeing his ex-boyfriend everyday with his new boyfriend. Thinking about it, he probably shouldn’t be surprised knowing the camp was run by his family, so he decided to just suck it up, and deal with it. Jaehyun wasn’t the problem.
The problem was standing just beside Lee Jaehyun. Someone he had thought he’d never see again. Someone he had tried to put at the back of his head but always found himself resurfacing whenever he tried to think of a good memory.
Someone, who, though he had wanted to see, made him tongue tied and tight-lipped now that they were seeing each other again.
Kim Younghoon — his winter lover.
Kevin was panicking. Sure, he had always wanted to see Younghoon again since they parted ways five years ago, but seeing him now, suddenly he didn’t know what to say, or what to do around him.
They hadn’t seen each other in five years. Who knows if Younghoon still liked him, or if he even knew who he was?
Of course, Kevin wouldn’t be able to ask, or know how Younghoon would’ve responded to meeting him again because the moment he saw Younghoon, he asked Jacob where he would be staying and immediately sprinted there when his friend pointed towards it. He even ignored Jacob the whole afternoon who had been knocking on his door, excusing he wanted to get a few hours of sleep.
There was no use in hiding, honestly. They’d be together the whole summer, and the camp wasn’t that big to continue hiding. Besides, they’ll both be counselors, and would probably work together frequently.
To add to that there’s a whole opening night party they were required to attend that night. Even with a whole crowd of people, Kevin wasn’t sure he could camouflage himself well amongst all the kids. He also wasn’t sure he’d have any more excuses to tell Jacob when his friend would invite him over to meet the other counselors.
Still, the few hours he was given to assess the whole situation definitely did help. At least now he has managed to go through all the thoughts in his head, and hopefully be calm when the time comes to meet Younghoon again.
YOUNGHOON
It was awkward.
Sure, he knew Jaehyun was introducing his boyfriend who he had been gushing over the phone all throughout the ride towards camp how this was the one — the giggles of said boyfriend being heard a little during the call — and Younghoon felt overjoyed for his best friend. All those years dating multiple people, and finally he had managed to find someone who’d stay with him.
What Younghoon didn’t expect was that the new boyfriend was his ex-boyfriend… Choi Chanhee.
Younghoon didn’t really tell anyone about Chanhee. They dated for a month during the summer a few years ago, and knowing how badly his relationship with long-distance goes, Younghoon decided to end it before anything real happened. Besides, Chanhee didn’t seem interested in continuing whatever they had that summer into something more serious, so they parted ways on good terms. In fact, out of all Younghoon’s ex-boyfriends, Chanhee was the one he caught up with the most.
They never really talked about each other’s lives, at least not the specifics of it. Younghoon knew Chanhee was dating someone new, but never asked who it was, or even for a picture because he didn’t think they’d see each other again, but now, somehow he wished he could’ve been a little curious.
What made it even more awkward was that Jaehyun didn’t seem to know about their relationship at all, and it didn’t seem like Chanhee was ready to talk about it. What Younghoon didn’t like was not knowing if he should be the one to talk about it, or if he should keep quiet. Chanhee didn’t really give him instructions. They haven’t been able to talk to each other at all without pretending they didn’t know each other.
What made him not think about it too much was that the opening night party was about to start. Sangyeon said they were just waiting for Jacob — who went to fetch a friend — to come before they eventually started the event. At least, with one other person at the table, Younghoon hoped they could at least ease the tension.
From what Younghoon knew of Jacob too, he was great at conversation. Younghoon was sure this night would continue without a hitch.
That was until he saw who Jacob was with.
Jacob called to them to announce his presence. When Jaehyun turned from his chair, drinking from his milkshake, he found himself coughing, seeing who Jacob was with. Younghoon raised his brow at him, wondering if they knew each other, then thinned his eyes looking between them when he saw Jacob’s friend sending a strained smile at Jaehyun as if telling him to shut up.
His features faltered, turning from curiosity to shock once he stared at their new companion.
He found himself smiling, whispering his name.
Kevin
Jacob turned towards him, a brow raised.
“Do you know each other?” Jacob asked, turning to Kevin.
Kevin, with a smile, shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
Younghoon heard his heart breaking.
KEVIN
Kevin wanted to be swallowed by the Earth and not be returned back. If there was any place he was meant to be at that moment, it was definitely not there.
All his planning the past hour — all the pep talk to prepare himself for seeing Younghoon — definitely did not include feigning ignorance. He wanted to curse, pull out all the hair on his head, and grovel underneath the table.
This definitely wasn’t how he planned things to go and it didn’t help that Younghoon looked absolutely distraught.
He kept cursing himself through the food and the whole event. Everything passed by him in a blur, and he didn’t even realize that everyone was standing up already, going somewhere. He didn’t really hear where they were going, or if he was going to be included.
Seeing him still sitting down, Jacob said, “We’re going to Sangyeon’s cottage for an afterparty. Just friend things,” he explained. “You’re invited. You are a friend,” he added when he saw Kevin didn’t have any intention of standing up.
Before he could answer though, Chanhee approached Younghoon asking to speak to him.
Kevin eyed them carefully, and suddenly had a bad feeling settling on his stomach. He wanted to do something, but before he did, someone grabbed his arms, and took him somewhere.
Jaehyun asked Kevin not to tell Chanhee anything, especially about their relationship and that he was the reason Jaehyun broke up with Kevin in the first place — a fact Kevin hadn’t even known until that day.
“You know it’s highly impossible that your boyfriend won’t find out,” Kevin said. “Besides, people have been saying that you’ve been saying he’s the one for you. You don’t want to ruin that.”
“He is,” Jaehyun said, his voice a mixture of despair and love.
Honestly, Kevin wasn’t sure how to react.
“It’s just,” Jaehyun sighed, finally allowing himself to sit down and relax. “What if he misunderstands? What if he thinks he came in between a relationship?”
“Then I can vouch for you and tell him the relationship barely even started when we broke up.”
“But—”
“Look,” Kevin interrupted, not wanting to hear him whining. “Do you regret breaking up with me?”
“I mean I regret breaking up with you the way I did, but… no, not really.”
Kevin nodded his head in understanding.
“I don’t regret our relationship despite everything that happened,” he added before Kevin could speak. “It was obvious at that time that you were waiting for someone to come back. I knew that maybe if I waited a little more, you’d give me all of your heart, but you never did, and maybe I wanted someone to love me the way you loved whoever it was you were waiting for… and that’s when I met Chanhee.”
Kevin listened to him, listened about how well Chanhee treated him, from that day until now.
“And gosh, I regret allowing my feelings for him to grow when I was with you, and I’m sorry for that, Kev, but I’m not sorry for choosing Chanhee.”
Kevin smiled, finally understanding why the rumors of Jaehyun’s relationship with Chanhee would probably be his last. From the little he saw over dinner, despite Chanhee pushing Jaehyun away when he came closer, he saw how much they complimented each other, and how much they leaned on each other. Kevin saw how Chanhee became Jaehyun’s safe space, something he wasn’t able to give when they were dating.
“You don’t have to say sorry,” Kevin assured him. “I don’t need to hear it; I don’t like you that way, anymore.”
He stood up from where he was standing and stared at his ex-boyfriend. “What I do want you to do is to tell Chanhee immediately about me. It might not matter anymore, but he deserves to know who I was to you rather than us just tiptoeing around each other.”
Jaehyun smiled at him. “You’re a good guy, Kev,” he let out a sigh of relief before also standing up. “I hope, if this guy you’ve been waiting for doesn’t return, that you could at least find someone to love and love you back earnestly. That, or for this guy to finally come back. You’ve been waiting a long time.”
Not really thinking of his words, or why the atmosphere just seemed right, Kevin found himself blurting out. “He is back.”
“What?”
And Kevin told him the whole thing.
What Kevin didn’t realize when it happened was that telling Jaehyun was the absolute worst idea he could have thought about.
Not only did they now have another secret between them, but it also gave Jaehyun the liberty to tease, and tease he did the next day when they were finally starting the camp.
The schedule goes: breakfast from 7 to 8 am, swimming lessons from 8:30 to 10 am, arts and crafts from 10-12 nn, lunch, then a specific activity after lunch based on the kids’ choosing, until another sports class at 3 until 4, a break from 4 to 6, dinner, and then a small get together to get to know each other after until they needed to go to sleep.
Lo and behold, as if following a sick joke from the universe, all four of them, Kevin, Younghoon, Jaehyun, and Chanhee, found themselves lifeguarding for the swimming lessons that morning.
Not only was Jaehyun making it painfully obvious that Kevin clearly knew Younghoon, he kept doing whatever was in his power to have Kevin be beside Younghoon at every possible moment. What made it worse was that Kevin and Younghoon hadn’t talked to each other since the night before, and though Kevin wanted to apologize for pretending he didn’t know who he was, there was no opportunity to do so during that whole day.
He tried again during the arts and crafts class, and again during lunch, but somehow Younghoon seemed to be ignoring him — he deserved it honestly but he had hoped that Younghoon would at least give him a chance to explain — or he liked talking to Chanhee more than to him.
Jaehyun didn’t seem to be bothered seeing Chanhee and Younghoon so close, only saying that it was great they were getting along — he wanted his close friends to be close to his boyfriend — but something about their relationship irked Kevin a little.
Sure, he didn’t really have the right to be jealous. Younghoon wasn’t his.
But he wasn’t Chanhee’s either.
Whatever it was, it carried throughout the whole day, and Jacob had to tell him to rest during the afternoon sports class before he hit another kid with a ball. (They were playing foot volleyball and he had already hit two kids “accidentally”).
To his surprise, Younghoon was waiting in front of his room.
“I was also told to rest for the afternoon after calling out a foul to two kids in their badminton game,” he explained when Kevin asked why he was there.
Kevin laughed, but immediately stopped, realizing this wasn’t the right time to be laughing. He took a deep breath, before saying, “I’m sorry,” only to halt once he realized Younghoon said the exact same thing at the same time.
“You go first,” Younghoon urged.
Kevin sat beside him at the door and apologized for everything that happened the night before, especially about him pretending he didn’t know who he was.
“I panicked, honestly. I didn’t know how to answer if Jacob asked how we knew each other, and if I was ready to reveal who you were in my life,” Kevin explained. “I didn’t know if that part of my life still deserved defending.”
“What do you mean by that?” Younghoon asked.
Kevin shrugged. “I’ve been waiting and searching for you for five years,” Kevin admitted, not knowing where the surge of confidence came from. He realized that it was just easier to tell the truth before his brain could concoct another lie, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to apologize again. He wanted to be able to talk to Younghoon normally again, without all the awkwardness.
“Jacob always told me it was time to move on from you, but every time I tried to — believe me I have, even went to date so many other guys after you — at the end of the day, I seem to be coming back to you,” Kevin confessed. “I just don’t think he’d take kindly to seeing you after all that’s happened even though you had no fault in it whatsoever even if you are his boyfriend’s best friend.”
Kevin noticed Younghoon’s lips lift into a small smile. He bumped his shoulder with the older man’s as if asking why he was smiling.
“I wanted to say sorry for ignoring you,” Younghoon started. “Hearing that you didn’t know me last night made me wonder if you really did forget about me, and that all the memories I’ve kept of us together just faded into nothingness to you and that broke my heart. Throughout the morning, I eventually realized that you did know who I was,” he smiled, adding, “My best friend could be annoyingly obvious sometimes.”
Kevin scoffed, knowing that far too well.
They stayed quiet for a while, not knowing what else to say. At least Kevin didn’t know what to say; Younghoon seemed to be processing his next words.
“I waited for you too,” he finally spoke through the silence. “I even went and studied abroad thinking that that’ll bring us closer.”
Kevin found himself laughing, shaking his head. “I went and studied here in hopes I could meet you again.”
Younghoon couldn’t help it. He laughed as well.
“We’re hopeless, are we?”
Kevin didn’t answer for a while, but he shook his head, whispering. “I hope not.”
“Hmm?” Younghoon hummed.
“I hope there’s still hope for us.”
Younghoon looked surprised, unable to say anything. Kevin was suddenly scared he made the situation take a turn. He was about to say sorry, until Younghoon took his hand in his.
“I’m not the same Younghoon I was five years ago, and you might not be entirely the same Kevin I met then as well. As much as I want us to work, I also want us to get to know who we are now. Would it be okay for us to take it slow for now?”
Kevin didn’t need to be asked twice. In fact, he could’ve given Younghoon anything he asked at that moment, but calming himself down, he nodded his head and said yes.
It had been going well. Two weeks into the summer and Younghoon and Kevin had seemed closer than ever. Even the rest of their friends were wondering how they suddenly became close. They didn’t want to admit anything yet, wanting to preserve their past, and now their present for just the two of them for now (with a small exception in the name of Lee Jaehyun), so they pretended that the time they were asked to “rest” on the first day led to them bonding, and realizing that they worked out well together. Everybody seemed to buy it, the only problem was trying to keep Jaehyun from saying anything.
Fortunately, for the two weeks they were rebuilding their relationship, Jaehyun hadn’t said anything.
Kevin was ecstatic. He was almost ready to thank the universe for being kind to him, for allowing him to have this with no complications.
But Kevin had realized that there are things that don’t go your way, especially if you wished for it.
That weekend, Jaehyun invited them all to a dinner party. Because it was a weekend, there were no club activities, and Jaehyun decided to throw a small barbecue dinner at their family resort.
It was in the middle of the dinner, and Jaehyun looked nervous about something. Both Sangyeon and Chanhee had asked if he was okay, and he said he was. He was just a little nervous because there was something important he needed to tell.
Now, Kevin realized if he had thought about it a little more, he would’ve realized what the important thing Jaehyun wanted to tell was. It wasn’t impossible to deduce when he had told his ex-boyfriend to tell people about their relationship a few weeks ago. Honestly, he would’ve known if he didn’t already assume that Jaehyun had already told Chanhee — in private and not in the middle of a whole party which, Kevin realized late, was thrown for the sake of revealing their past relationship.
Kevin wanted to strangle Lee Jaehyun.
Jaehyun raised his glass, hitting it with a spoon to grab the attention of the five of them who were there. Now, Kevin raised his glass alongside, still not realizing what this was all about. It was only when Jaehyun glanced at him, did he feel his heart drop.
“I have something important to announce,” he started, breathing in deeply. Once he exhaled, he said, “I dated Kevin.”
Kevin wanted to be swallowed by the Earth again.
YOUNGHOON
Younghoon didn’t have expectations on what was going to go on that night. If he did have, it probably wasn’t what had just occurred.
He glanced at Kevin who looked like he didn’t want to be there, then he glanced at Chanhee who looked lost. Younghoon knew it probably wasn’t because of the confession, but now that Jaehyun had revealed his past relationship with Kevin out in the open, it would probably be awkward for Chanhee to reveal their past relationship, which put him in a difficult spot, and though he wanted to be there for Kevin knowing this was probably a shock to him too (sometimes it was just impossible to understand what goes on in Jaehyun’s head), he realized Chanhee didn’t have an ally in this group.
Jaehyun had his brother, Sangyeon. Kevin had his best friend, Jacob. Sure, Chanhee had Jaehyun as well, but right now, Jaehyun wasn’t who Chanhee needed, so he followed Chanhee out when the latter walked out of the venue.
“What do I do now, Hoon?” Chanhee asked, once Younghoon caught up to him.
“Well, now that we’re bearing dirty laundry, why not admit our relationship?” Younghoon suggested. Chanhee glared at him.
“I had a perfect plan,” Chanhee whispered.
Younghoon rolled his eyes. “Waiting until the end of the summer wasn’t a perfect plan.”
“Well, it isn’t now,” Chanhee groaned, finding himself kneeling on the sand. That couldn’t have been comfortable, but Younghoon, with a sigh, followed after him, sitting beside him.
“You have to tell him, soon,” Younghoon advised. “It doesn’t have to be publicly but at least it’s out in the open.”
Chanhee kept his head in his hands, still not appeased.
“I know it doesn’t really matter. We’re exes, that shouldn’t mean anything to you, but I’m also Jaehyun’s friend, and he deserves to know… and he deserves to know it coming from you.”
“Okay,” Chanhee said, raising his head. “I’ll do it. I can do it.”
Chanhee did not end up doing anything and it had become so awkward the whole week after that because everyone was walking on eggshells around each other.
Sangyeon was definitely getting hit hard. His counselors were doing their best, but they weren’t doing their 100% and that infuriated him. Despite Jacob constantly trying to appease and calm him down, nothing seemed to work.
Younghoon’s relationship with Kevin also seemed to take a toll. He didn’t know why Kevin was acting cold around him. He wasn’t the one that had his past relationship revealed but looking at it now, Younghoon realized he didn’t have the right to talk about that because one of these days he’d have his secret revealed as well.
What Younghoon didn’t like was not knowing what was bothering Kevin, thus not knowing how to help him overcome it. He wanted to be there for him, but because Kevin won’t talk to him, he had no choice but to wait.
Sangyeon, though, had other plans.
He invited them again to the family resort.
Younghoon honestly was afraid, but hearing Kevin was going to be there, he wanted to lay bare everything that needed to be said before it got revealed against his will in the dinner party. There were some things that were bound to happen at the Lee Family Resort and Younghoon wasn’t about to risk a relationship he had been trying to rebuild for something unexpected.
So he waited for Kevin at the entrance of the house, and once he saw him, he asked to talk. Kevin sighed but nodded, and Younghoon led them to the back of the house.
“I want you to talk to me,” Younghoon said as soon as they were away from earshot.
Kevin was refusing to meet his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Younghoon sighed.
This is harder than expected, he thought.
“Just talk to Chanhee instead,” he heard Kevin whisper.
Suddenly everything clicked on his head — gears being placed at the right positions and making his mind turn. He grinned, realizing the implications of what Kevin just said.
“Are you jealous of Chanhee?”
Kevin scoffed.
“There’s nothing going on between us,” Younghoon clarified.
“Of course there’s nothing going on with you and a man in another relationship,” Kevin said, voice higher than expected. He coughed, before adding, “That’s not what’s bothering me.”
“Then what is it?”
Kevin kept his eyes trained on his feet, as if somewhat shy to face Younghoon.
“You just seemed so close to each other.” he whispered. “I wanted what you guys have.”
As if teasing him, Younghoon stepped closer to Kevin. The younger man didn’t step back, instead he looked up at Younghoon with a brow raised. “What are you doing?” he asked.
“Getting closer to you.”
Kevin rolled his eyes and pushed him away, whispering about it not being funny, but the blush painting his cheeks made Younghoon triumphant anyway.
“It’s not what you think,” Younghoon admitted. “We dated a few years ago.”
“What?”
“Chanhee and I,” Younghoon clarified. “We dated before I went abroad.”
Kevin raised his brow. For the last three weeks they were in camp, Younghoon and he decided to catch up and get to know how the other was doing and what the other had been up to for the past five years. That included setting down a timeline of when they each decided to go to each other’s countries to study. Because Kevin was a year younger, he transferred to Younghoon’s place a year after they broke up, but Younghoon had moved near Kevin’s hometown just a few months after they parted ways. Which meant…
“You dated him right after me?” Kevin asked.
Younghoon bit his lip and closed his eyes.
“That doesn’t matter,” Younghoon said, trying to make the situation less awkward than where it’s heading.
“Oh doesn’t it?” Kevin asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
Kind of frustrated at how nothing was working for him, Younghoon blurted out. “Fine, how many were there before me.”
Kevin raised his brow, shaking his head. “None.”
“And after me?”
Kevin didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he turned his head away from Younghoon and started looking at the trees around the property. He coughed out an answer when the silence was getting too awkward for him.
“What was that?”
With a sigh, Kevin said, “Two,” in a whisper. “But that’s not the point.”
“That is the point. You’ve dated guys after me too.”
Kevin, feeling cornered, asked the question back to Younghoon.
“How many were there after me?”
“That’s not the point,” Younghoon said nonchalantly and was ready to change the subject until he saw Kevin raise his brow.
“Fine. Three,” he admitted. “Chanhee, and then a guy I met in uni named Eric, then the one I recently broke up with, Ji Changmin.”
Kevin already knew about Changmin. Younghoon had told Kevin about him and why he became an important factor in deciding to go back to his hometown. Younghoon didn’t ask anymore who the two people were after him. He already knew of Jaehyun, and Kevin had talked about Juyeon, but only tidbits of him. Kevin really didn’t like talking about him.
But with all that revealed, suddenly there was nothing to talk about.
“Are you guys done there?” someone shouted from the inside of the house. Based on the voice, it was Jaehyun. "Sangyeon said he wanted to play a game.”
Younghoon turned to Kevin.
“Are we good?” he asked.
Kevin just smiled and laughed.
“We really are hopeless,” he said, finding the whole situation laughable.
Younghoon grinned, whispering, “I hope not,” before dragging Kevin inside the house.
When Sangyeon dropped the alcohol on the table, Younghoon realized this game was more than he let on. He wanted everyone to confess and when else would you be able to do that best than in a state of drunkenness. Everyone else seemed to understand the situation by the awkward glances they were sending each other around the table.
“Because all of you refused to talk, I’ll do it for you,” Sangyeon said, passing them all an empty cup. “Never Have I Ever. You know the rules.”
He opened the bottle of alcohol, and started pouring on his cup, passing it around. Once everyone had their cups filled, Sangyeon started.
“Never have I ever dated anyone in this circle and broke up with them.”
Everyone groaned, thinking the juicy questions were going to wait for later but it seemed that Sangyeon was impatient, and they didn’t really blame him. It was a week in the making.
Kevin and Younghoon drank with ease, having already admitted everything to each other. Jaehyun drank with ease as well, his secret already out in the open. Chanhee stared at his cup for a while, before downing it — to only Jaehyun’s surprise.
“Who did you date?” Jaehyun asked.
“I dated Younghoon,” he admitted, defeated. Jaehyun looked affronted, about to say anything but Chanhee raised his hand to stop him. “Don’t you dare act offended. You dropped a bomb on me last week too.”
“I—” Jaehyun stuttered out, but nodded in understanding.
“Who did you date?” Sangyeon asked.
“Chanhee just admitted to it,” Jacob called out, shaking his head.
Sangyeon nodded, only for Younghoon to reveal, “I also dated Kevin.”
That seemed to be the shock for everyone, with Jaehyun almost choking on his drink (that he wasn’t even supposed to be drinking from).
As if things started clicking in Jacob’s head (having known all of Kevin’s exes), he stood up and pointed an accusatory hand at Younghoon.
“You’re his winter lover?”
Kevin almost spat his drink after hearing his name for Younghoon.
“Winter lover?” Younghoon asked, raising his brow.
Kevin dropped his head in embarrassment. He didn’t want to answer any of this tonight, or any night in fact. Again, he was hoping in his head that the ground opened up and swallowed him whole.
“Wait,” Sangyeon started, “He’s the guy you’re not over with? The guy you’ve literally gone abroad for.”
Also realizing the situation, Chanhee, with a scoff, said, “He’s the guy you broke up with me for?” while Jaehyun said, “He’s the guy I broke up with you for?” pointing at Younghoon and Kevin respectively.
“I probably should’ve thought this through,” Younghoon said, now realizing that grave mistake he just made.
Kevin just nodded, feeling tired. “Yeah.”
Eventually the drinking game halted and all everyone wanted to know was Kevin and Younghoon's relationship.
They asked about how they met, and why it ended, and everything that happened since. There really didn't have much to talk about. The relationship lasted for about 2 months before they broke it off. It was funny to think that the feelings lasted for years when the relationship didn't even get any.
"So," Jacob asked after the storytelling was over. "What are you going to do next?"
"Hmm?" Younghoon asked, confused.
"Are you going to get back together?" Sangyeon asked for Jacob, apparently understanding what he also wanted to say.
"Well...."
KEVIN
None of their friends took kindly to them "taking it slow" arguing that wasn't five years of waiting was already enough. Still, Younghoon and Kevin stood their ground.
Thinking about it, Kevin didn't understand why they weren't doing anything about it. Sure, it's only been three weeks since they saw each other again, and maybe the catching up during those weeks weren't enough, but if he was going to be asked, he'd like to date Younghoon again.
The older man didn't seem to have the same idea. Whenever Kevin wanted to ask about it, Younghoon would do something else to deter the subject away from it, making Kevin wonder if he did want this as much as Kevin did.
Suddenly, he started questioning everything.
What if Younghoon realized he didn't like Kevin anymore? That the Kevin he was now wasn't comparable to the man he was five years ago?
If so, then Kevin wasn't sure he was ready for another rejection.
So, he did what he had always done best. Ignore the problem and run away.
If Younghoon wanted something to happen between the two of them, then he'd ask, because honestly, Kevin was tired of overthinking.
YOUNGHOON
He thought that everything would be solved after the party. He and Kevin were able to talk about stuff to their friends, and Chanhee and Jaehyun left the get-together early that night to talk, but when Monday came, Younghoon realized that nothing was going right.
Jaehyun and Chanhee seemed to be much more awkward with each other and Kevin wasn't talking to him — for some reasons unknown to him. Okay, maybe it was an overstatement to say Kevin wasn't talking to him but a good morning at breakfast and only a hi when they passed each other in between classes wasn't enough of conversation. He understood that Kevin wouldn't be able to talk to him between activities — the kids tend to get your whole attention — but the fact that Kevin wouldn't even bat an eye unless he was the one that approached him made him frustrated.
The thing was, the kids had started to notice. They might have started noticing a week ago, and maybe thought that it was going to get resolved during the weekends, but now that it had already been two weeks, they were also starting to worry.
Maybe they realized that leaving adults to work on their problems alone didn't work so now they were intervening.
It first happened during swimming lessons. Since Chanhee wasn't someone who liked going onto the water, the kid who Jaehyun was teaching kept swimming towards where Chanhee was sitting and watching just so that he could talk to Chanhee and wouldn't leave until the two of them said a word to each other.
And it continued throughout the whole day, not only to Jaehyun and Chanhee but also to Younghoon and Kevin.
That afternoon, the four of them were assigned in the reading class — the only thing you have to do is to read to the kids, or teach them how to read. They were at the library, the four of them each taking a corner to the disappointment of the children.
One of them, Park Chanwoo, held onto Younghoon's hand, asking him to reach for a book at another corner, only the corner that he was brought to was Kevin's corner.
Once Chanwoo had gotten them his book, he sat down at a chair beside Kevin saying it was comfortable and gestured to Younghoon to sit beside him.
It took Kevin less than five minutes to find an excuse to leave, to both Younghoon, and to his surprise, Chanwoo's, disappointment.
When he hadn't been doing anything, Younghoon watched the kids, watched as they tried to orchestrate their plan on getting each pair closer to each other. At the end of the day, they had successfully gotten everyone to the center of the room.
Though triumphant for a minute, the bell rang and everyone went their separate ways.
Before the kids could leave though, Younghoon closed the door and stared at them.
"What are you all doing?"
They looked at each other guiltily, before Kim Hana, who seemed to be the leader of the group, said, "The four of you were making us uncomfortable," she admitted. "We just wanted all of you to be friends again."
Younghoon sighed, sitting down to be at eye level with all the kids.
"The four of us are going through something," he explained. "It's a little hard to solve."
Another kid, Lee Junho, raised his hand. "When I'm going through something my mother buys me food. That always works."
Younghoon smiled. "I don't think food would work with us."
"Why?"
"Because adults tend to complicate things. Something as simple as that wouldn't be able to solve this."
Suddenly, the whole group started brainstorming with each other, forming a circle amongst themselves, huddled and whispering underneath their breaths on how they could possibly fix the problem.
"We know," Kim Hana shouted rising from the circle. "Let's go on a trip."
"Hmm?" Younghoon asked, confused.
The kids didn't elaborate, instead they took Younghoon's hand and led him elsewhere.
"You want to go on a trip?" Sangyeon asked, crossing his arms in front of him as he looked down at the kids. They nodded.
Sangyeon stared at Younghoon for an explanation but the latter just shrugged, not knowing what was happening either.
Sangyeon raised his brow, before asking, "When do you plan to go?"
"Tonight," Hana said, "To the city. We just want to see the stars."
"There are stars here too," Sangyeon pointed out.
Chanwoo shook his head. "No!" he exclaimed. "There's an ice cream parlor that's called The Stars in the city, we want to go there."
Both Younghoon and Sangyeon raised their brow because there was no such thing in the city. They would know; they grew up there. Whatever this was they were planning to do though, they were very insistent on wanting to have it, so Sangyeon nodded, saying, "I'll get the car."
"No!" the two kids shouted.
Sangyeon raised his brow again, and was about to ask why when the kids pointed to Younghoon. "We wanted to go with him, and teacher Kevin, Jaehyun, and Chanhee."
The owner of the camp was at a loss for words, smirking. Realizing what the kids were trying to do he nodded, tossing Younghoon the car keys.
Only Hana and Chanwoo were the only ones who agreed to go. Sangyeon didn't think having a lot of kids with them would be safe, and he also wasn't sure the "plan" of the kids would be executed properly if they were busy watching over all of them, so at the end of the day, only the two of them were allowed to join (with the promise they'd bring back ice cream for the other kids once they get back.)
Unlike what Younghoon expected, getting the other three to agree was easy. Having kids coerce you to do something was the best way to have someone say yes, and with all three of them liking taking care of kids, they didn't have the will to say no in the first place.
What Younghoon hadn't expected was that the kids had apparently planned this well.
They kept asking Younghoon to change lanes, go right or left whenever they pleased, until the car eventually ran out of gas and they found themselves stuck in the middle of the road, with only a small gas station, the refilling machines also empty of gas, but the nearby diner was, thankfully, open and running.
They didn't have customers, and the employees seemed ecstatic seeing them.
Younghoon decided to stay, only because the tables, chairs and the floor seemed clean enough that the kids wouldn't catch anything or get food poisoning. Besides, the moment they saw burgers and fries on the menu, they immediately ran to a table.
Younghoon and Jaehyun ordered for them, and waited for the food at the counter.
"What's really going on?" Jaehyun asked.
Younghoon shrugged. "The kids think they could solve our problems."
"I hope they can," Jaehyun said. "I don't know what to do, honestly."
Younghoon wanted to ask, but he realized these were the kinds of problems that only he and Chanhee could talk about. He had already stood between their relationship enough, it was time to fix his.
Surprisingly, fixing his relationship seemed easy to Jaehyun. Hana had taken Jaehyun and Chanhee to another table with the excuse of their current table being too small. After finishing their food, Jaehyun and Chanhee were laughing together. Hana looked back at Younghoon’s table with thumbs up and a triumphant look on her face.
Younghoon glanced at Kevin and saw him looking at the pair with envious eyes, and somehow Younghoon knew what he needed to do.
“Chanwoo,” he called, leaning onto the younger boy. “Would you take this plate of fries to Jaehyun?”
Chanwoo looked confused for a minute, but when he realized what Younghoon really was asking — to be left alone with Kevin — he smiled widely, running towards Jaehyun’s table.
Once he was away, Younghoon took Kevin’s hand, and led him outside.
“I was thinking that maybe we should date for real,” Younghoon started when they were outside, only the light of the moon illuminating them.
Kevin stared at him, confused. “What?”
“It’s what you want, right?” Younghoon asked.
Kevin breathed a sigh of frustration as if disappointed that Kevin saw right through him.
“I know you,” Younghoon said. “I might have only known you for two months, five years ago, but you were honest with me then. You have always been easy to read because you wear your heart on your sleeve,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “And I know you enough to know that you’re an amazing guy, and that scared me.”
Kevin looked at him, not sure where this conversation was going. Before he could say something, Younghoon smiled sadly and continued, “I was scared I would hurt you, so I kept you at an arm’s length with only the hope of us getting together to keep you from leaving. We were beside each other, at least, and I thought that was enough.”
“Younghoon–”
“Until I realized it wasn’t and that I was actually hurting you by making you hope.”
Kevin took in a sharp breath catching Younghoon’s attention. “I don’t want to make you wait anymore. I’ll give you all of me if you accept me.”
Before Kevin could answer, Younghoon’s phone rang, with Jaehyun’s name flashing as the caller ID.
Younghoon put him on speaker as soon as he answered.
“What?” Younghoon asked, frustrated.
“There’s too much talking. Just kiss already.”
Younghoon scoffed, before hanging the call.
“I accept you,” Kevin suddenly said. “And I very much like to kiss you as well.”
Younghoon smiled, leaning in, only to look back at the diner.
Their friends were looking away, one of their hands covering each of the eyes of the children who looked to be eagerly watching by the window.
Younghoon raised his hand to cover his and Kevin’s face, before kissing the younger man.
“We really are hopeless,” Kevin whispered when he broke the kiss.
“We’re not anymore,” Younghoon answered before kissing him again.
1 Year Later
JACOB: Camp is in two weeks. Are you going?
KEVIN: Nope. Younghoon and I are traveling.
JACOB: You get yourself a boyfriend and suddenly you forget about us already!
KEVIN: Have fun at camp, Cobie! Say hi to the kids for us. <3