Work Text:
hk 🐧
hyung
are u mad at me
me
trying to sleep
hk 🐧
hyung hyung
why are u mad
everyone laughed
me
you know why i’m mad
hk 🐧
ur not mad
ur faking
me
furious
hk 🐧
u never get mad at me
me
livid
hk 🐧
coming over
me
kai
i’m seriously trying to sleep
can you not
Kai always knocks four times, waits a beat, then knocks once more.
“Don’t you dare,” Beomgyu calls out before the fifth knock. He can see Kai’s pink socks up against the gap in the bottom of the door, toes fidgeting.
“Coming in,” Kai’s voice says.
“It’s locked,” Beomgyu huffs, but it’s not. Kai flings the door open, bright light filtering in from the hallway and illuminating his silhouette. He’s clutching a plushie, although Beomgyu can’t make out which one in the dimness of his bedroom. And…fuck, he’s wearing Soobin’s pajama onesie, the Snow White one that Beomgyu gave him for Christmas.
“Kai-ya, oh my god,” Beomgyu groans, rolling over on top of his blanket and burying his face in his pillow.
“Hyung, are you really mad?” Kai asks from the doorway. “Really, really?”
“Close the fucking door,” Beomgyu spits to his pillow. “Damnit, did anyone see you coming in here?”
“Taehyunnie,” Kai says. "So what?”
“So what? So what?”
Beomgyu hears his door latch. He lifts his head off the pillow and the room is dark again but for the soft glow of the salt lamp Yeonjun gave him for his birthday. He can hear Kai breathing by the door.
“You know he knows about us,” Kai says, and Beomgyu plunges back into his pillow. “I told you he knows about us.”
“Doesn’t make it easier,” Beomgyu mumbles.
“Why does it have to be hard?” Kai asks.
Kai is light enough on his feet to be silent when he’s in socks, but Beomgyu feels him approaching from the staticky sound of the onesie rubbing against itself. “Don’t,” he begins, but then the mattress caves in around his feet under Kai’s weight, and a hand wraps around his bare ankle.
“Look what I brought you, hyung,” Kai says.
“Don’t want to.”
“Hyung,” Kai whines. “Gimme a chance.” The mattress shifts, and something soft brushes the back of Beomgyu’s bare thigh, right under the hem of his boxers. Kai’s lips.
“No,” Beomgyu insists, balling his hands into fists under his pillow and wedging his face deeper into the memory foam.
“Hyuuung,” Kai says again, softer this time. “Beommie-hyung. Baby.”
That’s not fair. “Let me be mad at you for, like, half a second,” Beomgyu grumbles, but he rolls over onto his back. He can just make out Kai’s smile in the darkness, the way he hunches his shoulders to suppress his laugh as he hovers over Beomgyu’s legs, leaning on one palm. The hood of the fuzzy onesie is draped over the back of his head, and it falls open down to his sternum, his collarbones casting faint shadows.
“You’re so easy,” Kai giggles.
“What did you bring me?” Beomgyu pushes up on his elbows, the act quickly slipping.
“Tell me you’re not mad first,” Kai demands, pouting and jamming the unidentified plushie behind his back before Beomgyu can get a good look. Beomgyu shakes his head. “Come on. Say you liked it.”
“It was risky,” Beomgyu says. “You know it was risky.”
“It was hilarious,” Kai counters. “And adorable. It was excellent variety content.”
The truth is Beomgyu isn't that mad. He thinks he played it off well, with a perfectly platonic hug and a quick jump on to the next question. And Kai's right: it was good variety content. But still. It was playing with fire, and Beomgyu is terrified of burning his fingertips.
“Maybe it was,” Beomgyu concedes, lifting his foot to poke him in the belly. The fluff of the onesie tickles his toes. “Maybe. But it was still risky.”
“The best jokes hide a kernel of truth,” Kai says, pointing a long finger in the air as if introducing a piece of solemn wisdom.
“Where the fuck did you get that from?”
“My dad used to say it. Look, what if I had asked it? You five-hundred-percent would have stepped out too. If I had said step out if you’d date me if I were a girl, no way wouldn’t you have stepped out. You’re too good at variety to—”
“I absolutely wouldn’t have stepped out,” Beomgyu says, pushing all the way up on his palms. Their faces are a foot apart now, and Kai leans a little closer, hovering over his knees now.
“Liar,” Kai says, stretching out the word as if it had three syllables.
“I wouldn’t have,” Beomgyu insists, reaching out to finger the highest closed snap on the onesie. “How did you get him to let you have this, anyway?”
“Soobin-hyung lets me have anything I want,” Kai says dismissively, waving his hand through the air. When he drops it, it falls on Beomgyu’s thigh. “Not like you. You’re too busy lying to me, liar.”
“I’m not lying. I wouldn’t have stepped out if you’d asked that.” Beomgyu pops the snap open, and another few inches of Kai’s sternum glow in the dim light. His skin is milky, untouched. It’s been a week since Beomgyu last marked it up, and Kai heals fast, a good quality in a kpop idol. “Ask me why.”
“Why wouldn’t you have stepped out?”
“Because I wouldn’t date you if you were a girl,” Beomgyu says, spitting into a grin.
Kai belts out that honk of a laugh, the one that Beomgyu tried to tell himself he hated until he couldn’t hide from himself anymore. “You’re too fucking gay,” he says, and Beomgyu plunges his head forward, nuzzling his face into Kai’s fuzzy shoulder. Kai’s fingertips caress him, inching under his boxers to graze Beomgyu a tiny bit too high on the inner thigh. Tease.
“Too fucking gay,” Beomgyu agrees, trying to keep still, but his giggles are starting make him squirm. “Hell, I wouldn’t look twice at you if you were a girl.”
“I’d be such a pretty girl, though,” Kai laughs back, leaving a cold shadow behind on Beomgyu’s thigh as he wraps his arms around Beomgyu’s waist instead. He’ll be back, though. He’ll definitely be back. “Don’t you agree?”
“Yeah, I guess. Whatever. But—”
“Are you saying my sisters aren’t pretty? You calling them ugly? Because we’re basically triplets.”
“That’s a massive reach,” Beomgyu says, pounding Kai weakly in the back. “I said literally nothing about your sisters being ugly. And you’d be an even prettier girl than them.”
“Feels like I should be offended on their behalf,” Kai says, massaging his thumb over the sore section of Beomgyu’s back. Beomgyu arches into it, pressing back against his hand to help him dig deeper into the stubborn knot.
“You’d be a gorgeous girl, okay? Gorgeous. But I like you with a cock.”
“I could have a cock and be a girl,” Kai says thoughtfully, and Beomgyu sighs.
“Okay, okay. Fair. You know what? I’d step out if you asked it. I’d date you no matter what. Better?”
“Much better,” Kai says happily. “Wanna see what I brought you?”
Beomgyu pulls away and Kai fishes the plushie out from somewhere behind him on the bed.
“It’s you when you’re angry,” he says, squishing the bear’s little ears. He makes a tiny rawr, and Beomgyu slaps his hands over his eyes.
“Kai-yaaa,” he moans.
“What? You don’t love him?”
“Of course I love him,” Beomgyu whimpers.
“And?”
“Don’t make me.”
“Say it,” Kai demands, yanking one of Beomgyu’s hands off his face by his skinny wrist. He jams the plush bear up against Beomgyu’s nose, booping it with the bear’s snout. Kai always lets Beomgyu hide, but never for long.
“Love you,” Beomgyu mutters, and Kai chews his lip to bite back his smile.
“Do you forgive me?”
“I’ll forgive you if you tweet something totally innocuous about us being just friends when the episode airs,” Beomgyu says, dropping the other hand and letting Kai tuck the bear into his lap. It’s a brown bear with a red bow around its neck and a bouncy little tummy that reminds Beomgyu of Kai’s. How long has he had it tucked away for a rainy day? Beomgyu doesn’t remember seeing it on Kai’s bed or in his overflow basket of plushies that Taehyun had deemed to be too childish for front-and-center placement in their room.
“Even better. I’ll tweet something super gay about Soobin-hyung,” Kai says. “That’ll distract the shippers.”
He pulls his long legs onto the bed, crawling over Beomgyu’s chest and caging him down onto the mattress. Kai-ya, come on, Beomgyu starts to complain, but Kai doesn’t let him, pressing a fuzzy arm across Beomgyu’s lips as his head falls flat onto the bed.
“Let Hueningie sleep here?” he asks in his aegyo voice.
Beomgyu doesn’t answer. It’s not a real question. He pulls Kai’s arm off his mouth, tilting his jaw up, and Kai traces the border of his bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.
“What do you think we can get away with tonight?” Kai breathes.
Beomgyu flicks his tongue out and shakes his head.
“Not even a little something?” Kai pouts, stamping Beomgyu’s tongue with his fingerprint.
Beomgyu hesitates, and nods.
“Can you be a quiet little bear?” Kai whispers, and Beomgyu bites down on his thumb. “Ow! Hyung, that’s not quiet!”
“I can be quiet,” Beomgyu whispers. “You’re the one who can’t shut up.” Kai’s body is flat against his own all up and down their torsos, the bear plushie squashed flat between their stomachs, and the fuzzy onesie is making Beomgyu overheat. At least, he thinks it’s because of the onesie.
“Why would I want to shut up about you?” Kai asks, furrowing his brows as if he truly doesn’t know why. “The whole world wants to fuck you, and I’m the one who actually gets to. Huge for my ego.”
“Kai-ya,” Beomgyu complains, squeezing his eyes shut to hide. Kai’s gaze is too close, and he actually feels like he’s sweating under the glare of his attention. And that fucking onesie.
“You’re so shy in here, hyung.” Kai kisses the point of Beomgyu’s chin. “So bold out there, and so shy in here.”
“Your fault,” Beomgyu grumbles. “Kiss me for real already.”
“Let’s say I had asked step out if you’d kiss me for a million won,” Kai says, pressing a kiss to the left corner of Beomgyu’s mouth. He puckers his lips up to chase after it, but Kai’s already pulled away. “Would you have stepped out?”
“Nope,” Beomgyu says. “Too obvious. Soobin-hyung would have asked me about it afterwards, like, hey, do you actually want to kiss Hyuka? ‘Cause none of the rest of us stepped out for that.”
“What if I had asked…” Kai does it again, to the right corner of Beomgyu’s mouth this time, and Beomgyu opens his eyes to glare at him. “What about ten million won? Would you have stepped out if I had asked step out if you’d kiss me for ten million won?”
Beomgyu presses his palm to Kai’s bare sternum, backing him off an inch to cool the air between them. His skin is damp, covered with a light sheen of sweat. The onesie really isn’t seasonally appropriate.
“Kai,” he says. “Kai-ya, I’m not risking this. I’m not risking the company figuring us out just to make content for a variety show.”
Kai pouts. “One billion,” he says. “One billion won, to kiss me. Would you have stepped out if I asked that?”
“We all would have stepped out,” Beomgyu points out. “A billion won? Fuck, for a billion won Yeonjun-hyung would have his tongue so far down your throat you’d feel him in your tonsils.”
Kai makes a face. “Whatever,” he says, and rolls off Beomgyu, dropping flat to his back on the bed next to him. He tosses a hand up to the wall, tracing the edges of one of the polaroid photos Beomgyu tacked up onto it. It’s of Soobin and Kai backstage at Inkigayo, throwing up peace signs with their costume jackets unbuttoned. The Lovesong comeback, a month after Beomgyu threw caution to the wind and pinned Kai against the mirror in their empty practice room. Months after the long looks had started, the chewed lips and pink cheeks and the Beomgyu-hyung, sit with me this time.
“Hey, hey,” Beomgyu soothes, rolling on his side to drape himself on Kai’s long body. Kai doesn’t respond to his touch, which is how Beomgyu knows he’s about to spiral, and he feels a spike of panic. Kai always responds to his touch, to anyone’s touch. He’s tactile. “Don’t, Kai-ya. Jagiya.”
“Let’s say they found out,” Kai says stiffly, staring up at the path of his fingertips. “The company.”
“We’ve talked about this,” Beomgyu says, brushing Kai’s bangs back from his forehead and into the fuzz of his hood. His hair is suffering from all that bleach, although Beomgyu kind of likes it damaged. It’s fluffier.
“I know we have,” Kai says, but he wants to hear it again.
“They could threaten me with anything, and I’d pick you,” Beomgyu says.
“I know,” Kai whispers. “I would too.”
“I just don’t want us to have to go through it. That’s the reason I care about this.”
Kai nods once.
“So? What’s wrong, then?”
Kai inhales, exhales. “I hate having to pretend,” he says, and swallows, blinking. “Want to just be us.” He shrinks down into the onesie, and Beomgyu stretches out longer to kiss the side of his forehead.
Kai used to cry nearly every day, tucked into Soobin’s arms in staircases and back hallways and the bathroom at the trainee dorm. What Beomgyu’d give to go back and be those arms, to wrap his own around the outside of Soobin’s and give Kai two more shoulders to cry on.
“You know I want that too, love,” Beomgyu says. “You know I do.” Now he wants to walk it all back, all his pointless logic. To say he’d have stepped out of that booth for would you kiss me, period. No money needed.
“I get so frustrated,” Kai says to the photograph. “I don’t know how you don’t get frustrated.”
Because I’m scared, Beomgyu thinks. It’s a fear Kai doesn’t really understand. Of what? he’d say, and to be honest, Beomgyu isn’t sure.
“I think we should tell them,” Kai says in a small voice. “Not the company, but the members.”
Beomgyu figures they’ll have to tell them sometime soon, anyway. It’s not really sustainable to keep hiding it, especially when one-third of the other members already know. But even if they don’t tell, it’s a nice thought: a world where they could snuggle publicly on the couch during their members-only movie nights and shower together when none of their managers are around. Where Yeonjun would buy them matching couple presents and Soobin would whine about Beomgyu corrupting his baby Hyuka whenever they kissed in front of him.
“It’d be okay, I guess,” Beomgyu admits. “If we did.”
“Taehyunnie didn’t care,” Kai says quietly, fingering the hem of Beomgyu’s undershirt with his other hand. “I told you. When he saw the texts, he just went of course you’re dating. And he hasn’t told anyone. Hasn’t even told you that he knows.”
“I know he hasn’t,” Beomgyu says. “Soobin-hyung might be weirder, though. He’s immature.”
“He’d be jealous it’s not him,” Kai says, finally letting himself smile again.
“What, him dating you?”
“Him dating you,” Kai giggles, and Beomgyu dives his hand down the open front of the onesie to pinch Kai’s nipple.
“Kai, shut up,” he whines as Kai jerks his front towards the wall and squeals. Beomgyu will never admit that Kai might be onto something there, and Kai gets too much joy out of teasing him about it.
“Ask about Yeonjun-hyung,” Kai says excitedly, hidden behind his hood.
“What would Yeonjun-hyung say if he found out?” Beomgyu asks dutifully. His hand is still tucked inside Kai’s pajamas, and he strokes it down his chest, down to his perfect tummy. It’s not as soft as it used to be, his baby-smooth skin hiding the inevitable abs that have come with years and years of daily dance practice, but they all like to pretend Kai hasn’t grown up. Well, Beomgyu can’t really pretend that anymore, can he?
“Hyung would say to use protection,” Kai breathes, flipping back around. His eyes lock on and Beomgyu feels it in his pelvis. “Do we have to?”
“We can’t fuck tonight,” Beomgyu says automatically. “I said we can’t.”
“We can if you’re quiet,” Kai says, licking his lips. “Your hair’s wet, hyung.” He doesn’t need to elaborate.
“I didn’t prep,” Beomgyu scoffs. “Just a normal shower.”
“Good enough for me,” Kai grins. “So?”
They have a lot of rules between them, to keep the secret, and that’s the only one Kai’s always respected: no fucking when Soobin’s watching anime in his bed next door and Taehyun’s still puttering around in the kitchen and Yeonjun’s just hopping out of the shower, bellowing that Beomgyu used up the good body wash and didn’t replace it. But Beomgyu can be quiet. Just this once. And he did prep, a little bit, to be honest. He had a feeling about tonight.
Beomgyu flings the bear plushie off the bed. “Can’t have him watch this,” he says. “He’s too young.”
Kai breaks into a dazzling grin, his eyes shrinking to crescents.
“So thoughtful, hyung,” he says, cupping Beomgyu’s ear and darting his thumb across its folds.
“What can I say? I respect plushie rights.”
Their heads are both pressed into Beomgyu’s pillow, inches apart and sunken halfway into the memory foam. It hides the tiny beauty mark above Kai’s eye, like how it gets airbrushed out in their promo shots. Beomgyu paints it back on in his mind.
“That’s why I love you,” Kai says solemnly, pulling Beomgyu’s head in and kissing him.
It’s fleeting, Kai’s lips touching Beomgyu’s for half a moment, but then there’s another one, and another before his delicate lips vanish for good. Kai likes to plant a few seeds and come back for them later. His hand drops from Beomgyu’s ear to the small of his back, then across to the point of his hip bone as if it’s restless. Beomgyu finds the hood of the onesie with his own hand and tugs it backwards; the nape of Kai’s neck is sweaty underneath it.
Beomgyu dots their noses together. “You love me for more than my tolerance of your plushie habit,” he says. “Admit it.”
“I love you for more than your tolerance of my plushie habit,” Kai echoes, and comes back to water what he planted, tracing Beomgyu’s lips with his tongue. Beomgyu crinkles his nose against Kai’s. Wet kisses get him worked up embarrassingly fast, and Kai knows it.
“You’re all damp,” Beomgyu says, swiping a finger down Kai’s sweaty vertebrae.
“You’re all damp,” Kai says, trying to lick his lower lip again and yanking Beomgyu tight to him when he successfully dodges it. “Not fair. You set me up for that.”
There’s too much fabric between them. It’s muting Kai’s body, dulling the weight of his arm over Beomgyu’s side and the rise and fall of his chest against Beomgyu’s ribs. Beomgyu can’t feel Kai’s energy thrumming and sparking, his limbs fidgeting. He’s being neutralized.
“Take this off,” Beomgyu murmurs. “I can’t take you seriously when you’re a fuzzy Disney princess.”
“You’re taking me perfectly seriously,” Kai says, bumping his belly against Beomgyu’s growing semi, but he unwinds himself from Beomgyu anyway and sits up to drop the onesie off his shoulders.
“Damnit, Kai-ya…” The onesie falls around his hips, and Beomgyu gets a flash of the top inch of Kai’s butt crack. He’s naked under the onesie. “Soobin would kill you.”
“I’ll wash it,” he says, shooting a coy look up the bed in Beomgyu’s direction. “Don’t tell him.”
“I’ll tell him if you don’t give me a real kiss,” Beomgyu says, puckering up at him, and Kai hauls himself up on his knees to pull the onesie fully off. Yep, he’s naked. “Fuck, Kai-ya. Go lock the door, now, if you’re gonna get your dick out.”
“Hey, you told me to take it off,” Kai defends himself, flinging his palms up and sitting back on his knees. Beomgyu averts his eyes, staring at his right shoulder instead of his cock, and Kai snickers at his modesty. Prude, Beomgyu scolds himself, but he can’t help it.
“Yeah, well, I was expecting an intermediary phase between Snow White and butt-ass naked.”
“I’m naked?” Kai gasps in mock surprise, spreading his legs wider.
Beomgyu sticks his tongue out at him and looks at the ceiling. Kai’s cock makes him too fluttery.
“Now I’m cold,” Kai fake-whines. “Need to be cuddled.”
“Lock the door, and I’ll cuddle you all night,” Beomgyu says. Kai pouts for another second, and Beomgyu swats him blindly, connecting with his left ear. “Go, Hyuka.”
Kai rolls off the bed, grumbling all right, all right, and Beomgyu hauls the blanket back, bundling himself under it. He’s tucked in up to his chin by the time Kai climbs in himself, holding the blanket up to peer down Beomgyu’s body.
“Uh uh,” he tsks. “Come on. We need to match.”
“Do it for me?”
“Lazy, lazy,” Kai chides, flopping into the bed and immediately grabbing the waistband of Beomgyu’s boxers under the blanket. Beomgyu clutches him daintily around the neck, shimmying his hips to let Kai tug the boxers down around his knees. When he kicks them off, they get lost somewhere around their feet. Whatever.
“What about this?” Kai thumbs over the general region of Beomgyu’s nipple, pinching the fabric of his undershirt.
Beomgyu squirms. “Leaving it on for plausible deniability,” he scolds.
Kai snorts, his head jutting forward on the pillow.
“What?”
“Hyung. Seriously?” He presses the front of his face into Beomgyu’s neck, folding their bodies together. Beomgyu logs the thickness of his thigh pressing between Beomgyu’s, the way Beomgyu’s shirt sticks on his sweaty skin. The tickle of his hair against Beomgyu’s chin, the give of his flesh under Beomgyu’s fingers as he kneads into his back. Cataloging his details.
Kai’s right, of course. Nothing is deniable about this.
“Now I can’t take it off,” Beomgyu says. “You’re too glommed on.”
Kai opens his mouth on Beomgyu’s neck. “Glomming more,” he breathes wetly, mushing his wet tongue against Beomgyu’s Adam’s apple and cinching his arms so tightly around Beomgyu’s waist that Beomgyu can’t exhale properly anymore. He stays like that, suckling sloppily on Beomgyu’s skin, messy and light enough to not leave any marks. Kai could live in these moments indefinitely, his focus locked in like he’s practicing a single phrase of an etude over and over, almost meditative. Beomgyu isn’t patient like that. He gets twitchy.
“Kai-ya,” Beomgyu says to his scalp, and Kai hums. “You know when Soobin-hyung said to step out if we thought we were more handsome than him? And we all did?”
“Except Yeonjun,” Kai corrects.
“Mhm.” Yeonjun didn’t have to step out. He’s too confident for posturing.
Kai sighs. “Don’t be silly,” he says, stroking down Beomgyu’s back to palm one of his ass cheeks. It fits just right there, filling his hand, and Kai fans his fingers out to make the flesh squish between them. Beomgyu doesn’t have a lot of ass to squeeze, but that doesn’t stop Kai.
“Don’t be silly about what?”
“You’re beautiful, hyung,” Kai says.
Beomgyu takes a shuddering breath. Kai’s fingertips are on the move under the blanket.
“Tell me?” It comes out squeaky, not the command he meant it to be, but Kai pretends not to notice. He nods obediently and kisses Beomgyu’s gross, slobbery neck.
Beomgyu can only ask for this in the dark. A few months ago, he couldn’t bring himself to do it then, even. Too much exposure, all his tender spots getting sunburned.
“Gotta figure out where to start.” Kai pulls his head back to the pillow to look over Beomgyu’s face, scrunching up his nose and twisting his thin lips to the side in an exaggerated thinking pose. God-awful acting, and Beomgyu squeezes his own lips together to swallow back his giggle.
A nervous tremble makes his leg shiver, and he thrusts it up around Kai’s thigh, locking their pelvises together. Their bodies are fused under the blanket, a squirmy heap.
“You have the absolute best nose,” Kai says solemnly. “It’s so…orderly.”
“Orderly?” Beomgyu says. “How can a nose be orderly?”
“Not an atom out of place,” Kai says. “Orderly.”
He drapes his fingertips lazily across Beomgyu’s asshole, and Beomgyu thrusts his knee up even higher over Kai’s hip, spreading himself open.
“Okay. Orderly nose,” he says, ignoring what’s going on below his waist. Kai is grinning devilishly, but he doesn’t say anything either.
“Next, your cheekbones,” Kai says. “Like tectonic plates.”
“What the fuck,” Beomgyu shudders. Kai is dragging a finger up and down his perineum. Probably his ring finger, from the gentleness of the pressure.
“Your cheekbones are like tectonic plates,” Kai explains, explaining nothing, and Beomgyu ducks his head to flutter his eyelashes against one of Kai’s own cheekbones. Kai’s cheekbones truly are like tectonic plates, whatever that means. Vast frames for his crinkly eyes, earthquakes when he splits into a smile.
Kai squirms. “Ticklish,” he squeaks.
“Toughen up,” Beomgyu says. “You’re literally tickling my ass, and I’m not complaining.” He slaps himself mentally for acknowledging it so soon. He likes to play dumb for as long as he can, until Kai can’t take the coy act anymore, and now that he said it, Kai has the upper hand.
“Oh, I hadn’t noticed,” Kai says innocently, evilly. “Would you like me to stop?”
Beomgyu sticks out his tongue. Kai glides his fingers up, down, pinkie against the base of his balls, index just darting up against his hole. Back and forth.
“Perfect tongue,” Kai says, and meets it with his own.
The real kiss that Beomgyu had asked for, finally. Kai doesn’t worry about kisses being good or deep or wet or any of the attributes that Beomgyu could use to describe them. He just gives himself to Beomgyu’s mouth, sometimes supple, sometimes sharp, always fully. He drinks Beomgyu up with such enthusiasm that Beomgyu gets even sloppier trying to keep up.
Kai cups Beomgyu’s cheek with his free hand, fingers burrowing through the memory foam, and his thumb is there too, poking through the corner of Beomgyu’s mouth to graze over his molars. He spills into him, overflows out of him, and he hasn’t even fucked him yet. He’s uncontainable.
“Perfect teeth,” Kai whispers. Beomgyu bites down gently, pinning his thumb. “Not as perfect as Taehyunnie’s, though.”
Beomgyu knows his eyes must be blown out, dilated. He sucks, slurping, just as Kai’s other thumb grazes Beomgyu’s hole.
“Lemme get the stuff,” Kai says softly, kissing him on the nose, and Beomgyu shakes his head. “No? You want more?” Beomgyu nods. “Hyung, you’re breathtaking. You’re gorgeous.”
Beomgyu spits out his thumb. It’s dark enough to ask. He can’t get burned in Kai’s shadow. “Am I handsome, though? Like Soobin?”
“So handsome,” Kai says. “Deep voice. Broad chest. Big, tough, handsome dude. Gorgeous.”
Beomgyu cuddles himself into Kai’s sternum. He feels like a cat on the edge of purring, and Kai lets him hide there from his feelings, brushing his thumb over his rim again and again. Never lets him hide for long, though.
“Let me get it, baby,” Kai finally murmurs. “Wanna open up your hole. Don’t you want me to?”
You’re the baby, jagiya, Beomgyu used to retort, but he likes hearing it too much to pretend these days. He nods, his flaming cheeks rubbing Kai’s sweaty chest.
“Gimme a sec,” Kai whispers. “Don’t move.”
Beomgyu clamps his leg even tighter around Kai’s hips, making his backwards lunge for the nightstand awkward and fumbling. Kai gropes half-blind behind his own back for the top drawer, and Beomgyu makes it harder by grabbing at his chest, splaying his fingers out across his pecs. Tiny palmfuls, just enough meat to grab. Beomgyu’s own chest is flat as a board under his undershirt, nothing but ribs.
Kai grunts, almost knocking over the air plant perched on Beomgyu’s nightstand in a fragile glass orb. He finally comes into contact with the drawer pull, his arm bent at a terrible angle. Beomgyu won’t let go of him, though. “Not helping, hyung—”
It’s unbelievably stupid to do this with everyone around them. It’s only two in the morning, and no one’s asleep. And right on cue, someone’s footsteps pad down the hall past Beomgyu’s door. Yeonjun’s, probably, based on the direction they’re headed, from his bedroom towards the kitchen. Kai sticks his tongue between his teeth, biting it silently as he gropes blindly in the drawer for the lube, and Beomgyu adds a level of difficulty by grinding into his cock with his own.
Kai grunts again, and Beomgyu gives him a stern look. Yeonjun, he mouths.
“Un-fucking-fair,” Kai whispers, holding the lube up above his head like a trophy. “Who’s being risky now?”
“You said you wanted to tell them,” Beomgyu whispers back as Kai hauls himself back onto the pillow and tucks an arm under Beomgyu’s neck. “So. Why don’t we tell him?”
“What, now?” Kai uncaps the lube, both of his hands behind Beomgyu’s head.
“Now,” Beomgyu says. “Why don’t I just call his name? Hey, Yeonjun-hyung, Hueningie has something to show you.”
Kai snickers, his eyes fixed over Beomgyu’s shoulder. “Big talk from someone who’s too modest for crop tops.”
Beomgyu feels the blanket shift as Kai delicately works his lubed-up hand down under it. In a moment, one of his fingers is gently tugging at Beomgyu’s rim, asking permission. Beomgyu nods, and Kai kisses his nose. Of course you can, love. Take your time with me.
Beomgyu likes to keep his own hands busy, and luckily, Kai is fun to play with. He’s uncut, with the only foreskin Beomgyu has ever touched. It’s a fascinating pinch of stretchy skin between his fingertips, an extra part of Kai to adore. Cute, somehow. Beomgyu wishes it wasn’t so dark under the blanket so he could watch it retract, retract, retract as Kai swells under his touch, but Beomgyu’s fascination with his uncut cock makes Kai shy, anyway. Better not stare at it.
Instead he palms it, gliding the skin languidly along Kai’s shaft as Kai gets to work on his ass. It’s a half-assed handjob at best, but the way it makes Kai shudder hits him with a stab of jealousy. Not fair that Kai’s cock gets to be an inch longer and have extra fun bits.
Kai twists a finger through his asshole, and another. Beomgyu doesn’t try to hide his grimace.
“You’re firm tonight,” Kai observes, coaxing them in to the second knuckle. He’s casual about this, blowing his bangs out of his eyes as he pries Beomgyu’s asshole apart. Beomgyu can feel it too, that his body isn’t quite giving in yet. He reaches his own hand back, poking his ring finger at the mess Kai is making of his ass; lube smeared across his cheeks, cold dribbles on his thigh.
“Trying to take over?”
“Nah. Just—” Beomgyu tries to push the tip of his finger between the middle of Kai’s two, feeling his tension giving a bit “—helping.”
“I don’t need your help,” Kai insists, squeezing his fingers together to block Beomgyu’s out. “Let me take care of you. For once.”
Kai takes care of him all the time, but Beomgyu doesn’t correct him. He lets his hand fall away, and Kai puffs up his chest.
“Big boy,” Beomgyu coos.
“Little hyung,” Kai murmurs back. “Close your eyes.”
Kai pulls him apart methodically, three fingers deep now. Beomgyu’s leg drapes limply across his waist, his thigh seizing up every time Kai grazes his prostate. He can feel that Kai’s inched his head closer on the pillow from the warmth of his breath across his lips, so close that it hasn’t had time to cool from hot to warm. He senses the tingle of proximity in the tip of his nose; Kai is somewhere, somewhere, right there. His ass is a dull ache now, and Kai presses his fingers in as far as they can go. Beomgyu hiccups. He’s giving in.
“Yeah?” Kai whispers. He holds his breath, and the warmth vanishes from Beomgyu’s lips. Lonely.
“Mmmmn.” Beomgyu presses on Kai’s shoulder, rolling him flat to the bed and belly-flopping on top of him. Their hip bones clash. “Keep them in.”
He finds the lube with his eyes closed, scooches up on Kai’s belly to grope for his cock below him.
“You can open now, hyung,” Kai says, amused, but Beomgyu doesn’t want to. Maybe they’re not in his dorm room, behind his eyelids. Maybe they’re alone in a studio apartment, two office workers with no one to report to in the morning but their white-collar bosses. Maybe they’re rich, established, late-career celebrities with untouchable images and the money to rent a penthouse hotel room.
He feels Kai’s other hand palming his ass cheek, kneading into muscles sore from five hours of dance practice. He sighs. Can’t escape his idol body.
“Open?” Kai asks again, high and pretty. Beomgyu drags a handful of lube down his cock, lining it up with the base of Kai’s fingers.
“Three, two…”
Beomgyu opens his eyes on one, just as Kai unplugs his fingers from his hole.
“Go!” he whispers, swapping them for Kai’s cock. Kai’s laugh makes the first inch of it jerk inside him, the lip of its head tugging at Beomgyu’s rim. Beomgyu grits his face against the stretch, fisting his hands into Kai’s nipples.
“So cute,” Kai hums. “Baby.”
Beomgyu wonders if this is what a hot flash feels like: a burning arrow shooting up from his ass through his nervous system, settling around his neck like a collar. It’s as if he’s suddenly sweaty all over, even though his skin is dry and Kai’s the one who sweats the most between them. He rolls upright on his knees to better control the slide, twisting his fingers into Kai’s pubic hair harder than he should. Kai never complains. It makes a good grip, trimmed but still thicker and coarser than Beomgyu’s own.
Kai groans a deep, satisfied nnnnghh. His hands settle around Beomgyu’s waist as their bodies inch closer together, rucking up the loose undershirt that Beomgyu never took off. “Tiny, tiny hyung.”
Here, Beomgyu can be greedy without guilt. Kai is big, but he wants him bigger.
“Kai-ya,” Beomgyu whines, ass almost on Kai’s hips. “Kai.”
“Hm?”
“Press,” he says. Kai sighs another sound, dropping his hands to sit around the hinges of Beomgyu’s legs instead, and sinks his thumbs into his belly below his navel. Beomgyu sucks in along with the pressure, and Kai gasps.
“Tiny,” he whimpers again. Kai chatters constantly during sex, but doesn’t bother with coherency. Beomgyu gets it anyway.
Kai slaps up into him, and it’s not quiet.
“Shhh,” he whispers to himself, and does it again, changing nothing. “Oh my god.”
“Can’t do it like that,” Beomgyu moans. He can cum just from thinking about that sound sometimes, the grotesque squelch of the lube dragging between their bodies, but Yeonjun is still somewhere in the kitchen. He collapses flat onto Kai’s chest and yanks the blanket over them, a layer of sound absorption.
“You’re wiggling,” Kai says to his cheek, and Beomgyu supposes that he is, his hips taking fully over, gyrating as Kai tunnels his thumbs deeper into his belly. It’s quiet this way, more efficient than Kai’s manic thrusts, and Beomgyu tells him so.
“Efficient isn’t sexy,” Kai slurs.
Beomgyu slows his hips to a halt. “This isn’t sexy?”
“Didn’t mean that,” Kai whines. “Move, hyung.”
“Tell me I’m sexy.” Beomgyu has him pinned mostly inside, his own cock smushed against Kai’s belly. He props his chin on Kai’s and glares down at him over the pout of his lip. Feels like a fucking paperweight is in his ass, heavy and static like this.
“So so so sexy,” Kai begs, trying to thrust under Beomgyu’s dead weight. “God, you’re—hyung, so sexy—”
Fuck being quiet. The word drips into him, and Beomgyu surges upright, suppressing a howl as he spears himself on the full length of Kai’s cock in one go. Just gonna—just need to ride him, and Beomgyu rips off the undershirt. He thinks it lands somewhere near the plushie when he flings it.
Kai is tactile, needs to touch. His nails tear into Beomgyu’s waist, his thighs wedge up into his ass. His lidded eyes bore into his nipples, sharper than his nails. Beomgyu flings his head back before his damp hair can stick to his face. His gaze skates over the popcorn ceiling, unfocusing.
“Go, go,” Beomgyu chokes, bouncing. He’s the first to admit his stamina is trash. His knees have about three minutes of this in them, max, but his boyfriend is a twenty-year-old who’d rather fuck twice than fuck long.
“Need me, right?” Kai babbles below him. The mattress shifts as he gets his feet properly planted, and Beomgyu nods frantically. Need him.
Kai pounds up into his guts, fucking his vision blurry. Hyung, hyung baby, hyung. Can’t do it, need me, don’t you? Total nonsense, and it’s not quiet nonsense, and Yeonjun’s in the kitchen. Beommie-hyung fuck fuck balls feel like—oh fuck gonna put it spray it in your hole—fuck it into—
Beomgyu gropes Kai’s chest, scraping over his nipples, scrambling his fingertips up to his jaw. He grips it and Kai’s words turn into dulled, guttural sounds, getting higher and higher.
“Sound like a puppy, jagiya.” Beomgyu grinds down, his own cock slapping up into his belly, thwack thwack. The sound would make Kai giggle if he weren’t so stupidly incoherent, moments from his own orgasm. “Good, gonna be good, are you?”
“Mmmm,” Kai moans. Beomgyu smiles at the ceiling; he’s so cute. He counts down in his head, works up the nerve to drop his head and look. Kai is so close he looks like he’s crying, dappled cheeks and twitching eyes, glistening brow. He wears it all on his face, he holds nothing back. Beomgyu’s knees quake, love, share it with me.
“Flip you,” Kai grunts. It’s all the warning Beomgyu gets before Kai seizes his thighs. He tips him backwards almost violently, seesawing their positions and jackhammering two, three, five times into him. Beomgyu pounds a fist weakly into Kai’s chest, a wordless complaint, but Kai ignores it. He tilts him instead, levering Beomgyu backwards by his skinny legs and finally battering into his prostate.
Beomgyu halfway chokes on his spit, convulsing. He fans his fingers out on his belly. Kai’s cock is splitting him apart under them, he can feel it; solid and full under his hands one second, hollow and soft the next.
“In here,” he pleads. “In—in here. Fill, fill?”
Kai chews into his own lip and scrunches up his eyes. His cock is shivering. Beomgyu grips it with his hole, imagines that he’s milking it.
At least Kai cums quietly. His lip’s gonna bleed, Beomgyu thinks, watching him knead the lower one between his teeth.
“Suck me next,” Beomgyu whispers weakly. Kai is still coming, he can’t answer. His face is frozen solid, but a vein is thrumming in his neck. Beomgyu says it anyway. “God, suck me, suck me.”
For ten, fifteen seconds, they’re both sober. Kai deflates onto him, a popped balloon falling to earth, and in the momentary lull they hear the rushed, hurried footsteps of someone seizing the moment to race down the hall.
Fuck. Beomgyu feels his eyes go comically wide, and Kai immediately hauls his head up to linger above his.
“Don’t,” he says, slapping his hands to Beomgyu’s cheeks and squeezing. “What’d we say?”
“Kai-ya—”
“It’s just Yeonjun-hyung,” Kai soothes, raining kisses on Beomgyu’s squished lips. “Don’t.”
Beomgyu doesn’t know what to do with his boner anymore, now that the room is blanketed in clear-eyed shame. He gives Kai’s shoulders a feeble push and finds his wrists pinned down to the bed a moment later.
“What do you want?” Kai prompts. “Say it again.”
“Kai, we shouldn’t.”
“Say it,” Kai says more forcefully. “Say it, hyung.”
Beomgyu wiggles his fingers uselessly. “It’s too…”
“Do you actually want me to stop? Tell me now,” Kai says, and Beomgyu’s bluff has been thoroughly called. He doesn’t say anything, tucking his chin to try to hide from his own blush. Kai grins and thrusts and oh fuck, his cock is still way up in there, something wet squelching around it.
“I just stuffed you full of cum,” Kai says. He says it carefully, evaluating how it lands. “They might as well hear you getting off, too.”
“God, Kai-ya,” Beomgyu moans. Kai smiles wider. He’s satisfied with that landing.
“You sound so pretty when you cum, hyung.” Kai kisses his throat. “Even prettier than when you sing, did you know that? The prettiest sound you ever make.”
“Suck me,” Beomgyu whispers. “Suck me suck me suck me.”
Kai hisses. He yanks his cock out and slithers down Beomgyu’s body like a snake, tongue trailing a cold line down his front. “Fingers too?” he asks, and Beomgyu gives him a muffled mmm, clapping his hands to his mouth. Always taking more of him, as much of him as he can have.
No one talks about Kai’s lips enough. Bloodied from his teeth, plush on Beomgyu’s slit, puckering around his swollen shaft. Kai rams three fingers up Beomgyu’s wasted hole, plunging a mess of fluids out onto the blanket without a care in the world. Why would he care? It’s not his blanket, goddamn, and there’s no good excuse for why Beomgyu’s about to wash his comforter for the second time in a week.
“Fuu—uck,” Beomgyu chokes. Terrible stamina, absolutely terrible. Kai’s throat is spongy at the tip of his cock and Beomgyu feels the warmth shooting down his thighs, up his abs. He doesn’t want to make the noises, the pretty noises, but Kai made a fair point; they’ve blown their cover two different times today already. Why not make it an even three?
Kai whimpers. He has a big mouth, but it still overflows when Beomgyu spills into it. He crooks his fingers harder into Beomgyu’s prostate and Beomgyu squeals like a piglet, his vision flickering. When he sees again, Kai is licking his lips, panting over his flagging cock.
“Sorry I was so fast before,” he whispers sheepishly.
“I was faster,” Beomgyu breathes, flinging his hands uselessly to the sides. It was a good orgasm. Not a mind-blowing one, but a good one. Great, even. Now he’s too tired to freak out about Yeonjun.
Kai pokes him in the prostate.
“Yah! What the fuck,” Beomgyu squeaks.
“Sorry, sorry.” He doesn’t sound it, pulling his fingers out and inspecting them. It’s too dark to tell how much of the fluid is cum and how much is lube, but Kai licks them clean anyway, and Beomgyu flops onto his belly to recover in the privacy of his elbow. Holy shit.
“Hueningkai is a pervert,” he says to the blanket. His poor, poor blanket.
“No one would believe that,” Kai says. He strokes over Beomgyu’s rim again, darting in and out of it, fuck. He definitely licks his finger another time. “Imagine if you posted that on Weverse. Moas would think you got hacked. Me, a perv? With this face?”
“Maybe they won’t think that after they watch the episode,” Beomgyu grumbles, but Kai pulls one of his feet into his lap and starts kneading into the pads of his toes. Why was he mad about the episode again?
“Beommie-hyung. You know what they’ll think after they watch the episode?” Beomgyu makes a non-committal sound. “That I have an adorable, useless crush on my pretty hyung. God, no one’s gonna think we’re fucking. No one.”
“Are we fucking?” Beomgyu wiggles his ass in the air.
“We’re fucking.” Kai grabs it. “Making love. We’re to-ge-ther.” A soft little spank for each syllable. Beomgyu gives in, crawling up the bed to cuddle into Kai’s arms, propped up against the headboard.
He needs to shower again, and they’ll have to get dressed if Kai’s really sleeping in here tonight, in case the staff turns up early and knocks on the door — they don’t get too suspicious if the door opens within ten seconds of the knock. But for now, Beomgyu lets his eyes droop, his cheek sticking on the fold of Kai’s armpit. He feels Kai twisting one-handed knots into his mostly dry hair, tugging on one of the blond extensions woven into his roots.
“Don’t,” he says. He’s lost enough of them in the shower, and Kai dutifully releases it, the pinch of pain disappearing.
“Can I get your plushie?” Kai asks eagerly. Beomgyu nods, lifting his head, and Kai peels off the bed, back in a flash with the little bear. “I wanna name it for you,” he says. “Something cute.”
“Duh. It’s a teddy bear. Has to be cute.”
“Gom-gyu,” Kai says. “Gyu-yomi.”
“Don’t name it after me,” Beomgyu cuddles back in.
Kai presses the bear’s snout into Beomgyu’s navel. He cringes. Too close to the scene of the crime for an innocent plushie. “Name it after me,” Kai says. “So you never miss me.”
“I already never miss you,” Beomgyu says. “I can never escape you. You’re ever-present.”
“I’m so lucky,” Kai sighs, his hands back in Beomgyu’s long hair. “Every day with my boyfriend. Famous with my boyfriend.”
Beomgyu’s phone lights up next to his air plant — KaTalk notification.
“There’s your nightly Soobin check-in,” Kai teases, reaching for it, and Beomgyu moans. God, he doesn’t want to talk to Soobin. He absolutely heard them. There’s no way Soobin didn’t hear him having sex with Kai, and maybe it’s time to tell them all, maybe Kai wants them to, but Beomgyu isn’t ready. “Oh, Yeonjun-hyung!”
“Nooo,” Beomgyu moans again. “No, he’s mad, is he mad?”
“Can I check it?” Kai knows his lock code, but he’s good with boundaries like that. They don’t get to have many of them as idols.
“Don’t tell me if it’s bad,” Beomgyu says, fretting like a grandma.
There’s a pause, and then a giggle.
“Oh my god,” Kai says. “Of course he did.”
“What?”
cyj 🦊
https://www.coupang.kr/vp/products/4623456477? …
me
???
cyj 🦊
they're noise canceling
get them for me and we never have to talk about what i just heard
me
hyung are you for real
“Five-hundred-thousand won headphones?” Kai laughs. “Smart man.”
“This is bullshit,” Beomgyu complains, but he bites his lip, smiling. “You’re splitting it with me. You’re the one who can’t shut up.”
It’d be okay, he had said for Kai’s sake, but maybe it really will be. The worst-case scenario just happened, and it wasn’t the worst, not even close. Yeonjun heard them fucking and he isn’t mad. He’s…he’s joking about it. Of course he is. He’s their hyung. He loves them alone. He can love them together.
me
are you blackmailing me
cyj 🦊
yes
that's exactly what i'm doing
ooh these come in pink
https://www.coupang.kr/vp/products/6615624870?...
me
640k!!!
hyung are you serious!
cyj 🦊
btw if someone was gonna get you two something matching
are scarves subtle enough
Beomgyu beams at the tiles all through his second shower of the evening. Yeonjun loves them, he isn't mad.
Kai is asleep in his bed when Beomgyu gets back from his shower, fuzzy in the glow of the salt lamp. He’s wearing Beomgyu’s undershirt, the plush bear tucked in next to him so just its ears show.
Maybe tomorrow Kai can tell Soobin. If Soobin had half a brain cell, he’d already have figured it out from the glimpse he got of Kai sprinting back into his booth during the To Do filming, but Soobin only has a quarter of a brain cell. He won't be mad. He'll be a fucking baby about it, but he won't be mad. He won't. Beomgyu believes it now.
And once Soobin knows too, maybe the two of them can be them sometimes, just around the dorm. Hold hands on the couch, and make eyes at each other across the kitchen, and not have to come up with dumb reasons for why they want to go get bingsu alone. Oh, Kai would love that. Why were you so afraid? he’ll say, and Beomgyu won’t have an answer. Because he should have been once, but he doesn’t have to be, right?
Beomgyu tucks himself under the blanket, trying not to think about what’s dried on it. Kai curls his body against him in his sleep, muttering an unintelligible word that sounds vaguely like it’s in English. He’s taking up too much of the bed, already a furnace under the blanket. Big boy, Beomgyu thinks. He kisses him softly enough that Kai doesn’t react, and it’s a bummer. He wanted him to wake up and slobber all over him again.
Kai did it on purpose. He must have known. He forced Beomgyu’s hand when he stepped out of that booth, and now he’s getting just what he wanted: a boyfriend he can show off – to three very specific people, at least. If Beomgyu didn’t love him so much, he might hate him for getting his way all the time. Getting Beomgyu to fuck him when it broke their rules, and getting Yeonjun to buy them matching scarves, and even getting Soobin to lend him that goddamn Snow White onesie. Maybe next he’ll get the managers to let them date for real.
Beomgyu scoffs. One thing at a time. Members first, managers…well, never, probably, but that won’t stop them, will it?
Kai twitches in his sleep, and Beomgyu pulls him in closer, his own eyes closing. It’s been a roller coaster of a day, and now he has six-hundred-thousand-won headphones to order first thing in the morning, or else Yeonjun will tease him mercilessly when Beomgyu tells everyone he spilled coffee on his blanket again.
Twice in a week? he’ll smirk. And since when is coffee white?