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The Shildra Inn rooms were full of warmly burning fires that kept the adobe stones warm and the patrons inside comfortable. For Cloud, it was a stifling heat that put his SOLDIER body at odds. He always ran hot, and he woke after an hour of fitful sleep with sweat pooling under his clothes.
He pushed himself up to his elbows to observe the other beds, all full but two. Cait Sith’s enormous body was stuffed up next to a nightstand, plugged into the wall where a lamp had been. Aerith’s bed — she’d chosen the one closest to the door — was empty.
The sight unnerved Cloud. He was out of the bed a moment later, shoving his boots back on and tip-toeing out to not disturb anyone else’s sleep. Aerith wasn’t in the main lobby of the little inn and shop.
He stepped out into the crisp air and was hit by just how cold it was in the desert at night. The red mountains in craggy shapes were dark and holy silhouettes surrounding the small encampment, and the sky was brilliant: midnight black, but filled with millions of stars and bursts of color. Distant galaxies or just the Lifestream cradling the planet? Who knew?
And there, near the edge of the village, was the last dying embers of the bonfire, with one kneeling figure in pink and red gazing upward.
Cloud made a disgruntled sound and headed straight to her. He was ready to tease her about being up past her bedtime when she spoke first: “You should be asleep.”
His lips parted in mild surprise, one foot frozen in the air at the sound of her chastising him . “I could say the same for you.”
Aerith turned her face so that he could see more of it, though her gaze was still pinned on the shapes of the earth jutting up to meet the sky. “I don’t know if you noticed,” she said softly, with the hint of sad amusement, “but I don’t sleep well.”
Cloud felt drawn to her by a force he couldn’t explain. It was like a tiny thread wrapped around his arm tugged him in her direction, and the urge was only stronger when she seemed quiet like this. She was seated with her knees drawn forward, but calves bent to the side, her legs pressed together. He eased down onto the ice cold sandstone. It had been so warm just a few hours earlier. “Nightmares?” he asked. He knew he shouldn’t indulge in chitchat, but it was rare these days to get any time alone.
He wouldn’t admit out loud that he craved that with her.
“Sometimes,” she admitted. Her voice had a strange peak to it, the way she could make anything have manufactured optimism. Like she’d spent her life forcing things to be positive, because so much of it hadn’t been. “Do you ever think...” She stopped, pressing her lips together, and then turned her face to him. In the dark, her luminous eyes seemed heavy with melancholy. He couldn’t look away. “Does it ever feel like there’s something else? Something you’re missing.”
Cloud made a sound that could have been a laugh. “All the time.” He leaned forward to rest one of his elbows on his leg, and his arm brushed hers, which was freezing to touch.
“Yet you always seem to know just what to do,” Aerith said thoughtfully, and then her lips pulled into a more genuine smile. It was small. “Mister Merc.”
“A sword can solve a lot of problems,” Cloud said, though his mouth was changing into a frown. “You’re freezing. We should head back inside.”
“A sword can’t solve the cold,” Aerith said with amused eyes.
Cloud rolled his eyes. “No, but a Fire materia could.”
“You feel plenty warm,” Aerith said, and just leaned her cold, slim arm against Cloud’s body. He could feel the line of chill through the thick knit of his shirt. The desire to ease her discomfort flooded his chest, and he moved his arm out of the way of hers, if only to move it over her shoulders. He pulled her into his body with a short yank.
Immediately a wave of warmth shuddered between them both, Aerith’s slim form cradled by Cloud’s thighs and chest and one arm. It was so awkward at first that Aerith’s shoulders shook with restrained giggles.
“What?” Cloud grumbled and hooked his arm a little tighter over her waist to keep her in place. A spite cuddle.
“Just seems out of your comfort zone, is all,” Aerith said, turning her head and settling back into Cloud’s arm so that she could look at him properly. “Or are you colder than you’re letting on?”
“Are you always so bad at trying to figure me out?” he huffed, though his cheeks grew pink even as the words slipped out of him. Nobody in the party could read him like Aerith seemed to.
She hummed again in soft acknowledgement, and then her gaze moved back up to the sky. “Without Midgar’s walls, the air is so sharp,” she said. Cloud’s eyes were only on her face, the sky a dull visage in comparison. “Every breeze spooks me. Normally if there’s a wind, it’s from something big passing by. A train, a monster.”
“A monster house,” Cloud added, his tone subdued but just playful enough for Aerith’s lips to part in a self-indulgent smile.
“We’ve been very lucky to not run into another one of those , to be sure,” she said, and then turned to face him, their faces unexpectedly close. “But you and I did it once. We could take it down again, together.”
The cold had nothing on Cloud, a furnace of heat from the roots of his hair down to his toes, including a light blush over his nose. Aerith’s face was half in shadow, yet her eyes gleamed. “Damn right,” he said, though his voice was hushed, not wanting to break the spell of their closeness.
Aerith’s delicate fingers slid over Cloud’s neck, her eyes growing heavy lidded. Cloud’s senses were dulled to everything outside of the bubble of their position: all he could hear were her bracelets softly clinking, his shuddering breaths, her thumb stroking the column of his throat.
Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she jerked her hand away. An embarrassed flush spread across her soft cheeks. “Sorry,” she said, as though she were only now realizing she was pressed into his lap and wrapped up in his arms. “We... I shouldn’t.”
Irritation flashed to life in Cloud. Not for her, but for that feeling of missing something . “Hey,” he said, letting one gloved hand slide up and tip her chin so that they faced each other again. “You shouldn’t be sitting out here moping in the cold. Yet here you are.”
Her eyes grew tender, staring at him with such intensity that he could feel his heart pounding in his throat. Then a soft giggle shook her whole body until she freed a hand to cover her mouth.
“You sound like Barret,” she said. “All responsibility.”
“I sound nothing like him,” Cloud huffed, but that only got Aerith to giggle more, letting her face fall into the crook of his neck. He could feel her eyelashes on his skin above the collar.
“We’ll go in,” she murmured, her voice wrapping around him like a gift. “Maybe in a little bit.”
“What if...” Cloud paused, the familiar words bouncing around in his memory. The quiet privacy of their spot together gave him a burst of confidence. “Would you go in if I gave you something?” He lifted his gloved hand, raising his index finger, much like she had when they’d met in the church. “One kiss.”
A strange feeling curled up in Aerith’s chest. She sat up enough to look at him and then found that she couldn’t . She looked away, a sad little smile flitting over her face. “You don’t mean that.”
Cloud’s stubbornness was stronger than his self consciousness. “Two, then.” He grabbed her free hand, bringing her delicate fingers to his mouth, where he kissed her knuckles.
The sad feeling didn’t seem to leave her as she watched. Was it disappointment this time? Cloud’s second kiss wasn’t on her hand. He pulled her arm up so that he could place his lips against the soft skin of her wrist.
Aerith, for once, was caught off guard, her breath fluttering. “Maybe one more,” she said, and though her tone was teasing, her voice shook with the effort of holding still.
Cloud’s eyes, beautiful and glowing and almost cheeky, rose to meet hers, and he placed his next kiss up her forearm.
“One more?” she breathed, all the mischief drained from her own voice. In the group, Cloud was serious, if a little prickly and sarcastic. But when the two of them were alone, his demeanor melted into something deeply protective and familiar. It made her want to shut off the part of her mind that told her this was a bad idea, that it wouldn’t help anything. It made her want to get close to him.
Cloud’s lips landed on the fabric of her sleeve at her shoulder. His head lifted, and their faces were close together. The only noise was Aerith’s tremulous breaths. She didn’t ask for one more. She had asked for too much already.
But then one fingertip curled under her chin. A move from Cloud’s muscle memory; he was sure he’d done it before, or had it done to him. It slowly tilted her head up to meet his. No one said anything, and Aerith was afraid she was going to shake apart at the seams; that she’d need to leap out of his arms and pretend she hadn’t settled on this ex-SOLDIER’s lap and teased him so that nothing would change . Nothing could go wrong if nothing changed —
His lips brushed hers, and she gasped. The noise was startling enough that Cloud stopped, leaning backward an inch. Doubt filled his face then, the confidence from earlier slipping through his fingers as he let go of her chin.
“Screw it,” she whispered, and curled her fingers into one of his leather suspender strap and yanked him back into a proper kiss.
Cloud’s eyes closed, the warmth in the rest of his body finally melting in his chest. Both his arms came up around her, keeping her close in a hug as their mouths met in tentative, yet eager motions. They had already been through so much together, and here, in a spiritual center under the stars and the Lifestream, it felt safe to give in to what felt right .
The kiss grew in intensity, one of Cloud’s hands sliding to cup her jaw, and then the back of her neck. Goosebumps that had nothing to do with the cold spread out under his touches, causing Aerith to press closer to him to feel the new sensations every caress caused.
Cloud was the one to pull away first. All he could think about was the way she felt under lips and tongue, under his gloved fingertips; the way she smelled like flowers, still, after having left her lilies behind in Midgar; the way her eyes were endless, full of warmth and pain that he wanted to unravel. All he could see was his future with this enigmatic mage at his side. It felt profoundly important to keep her close.
Aerith had a skill of slipping away from him, and it left him unsettled and off balance every time. He wouldn’t let it happen again.
“Aerith,” he said, hand sliding from the side of her neck to brush the hair back over her ear. She had that expression on her face again, the one that betrayed an infinite sadness he couldn’t fathom. “Stay.”
Her face changed again, one to of slight surprise. “Cloud,” she whispered, and couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Whatever it is. We got this.” His other hand sought hers, threading their fingers together. “I’ll protect you. You’ll protect me. That’s how it works.”
She said his name again, but for once, she was the one who couldn’t come up with a catty remark. Cloud considered that a win and leaned in to press their lips together once more. Her stiff shoulders softened under the touch.
“What in the hell are you two doin’ out here!? It’s the middle of the damn night and it’s like a goddamn freezer!”
The two lurched apart at the sound of Barret’s voice approaching from the Shildra Inn.
Aerith was the one to crack first, an embarrassed giggle falling out of her lips that crescendoed into a loud laugh as she pushed herself to her feet. “You’re right!” she said, and then turned to help the dumbstruck Cloud up from the sandstone. She gave Cloud a tiny smile, and then winked. “Definitely nothing like Barret.”
Cloud’s cheeks burned, but took her hand even as he helped himself up, not wanting to pull her back down. “It’s not so cold,” Cloud said, puffing out his chest the way he did around Barret. Neither could assert dominance over the other, so instead, their friendship had grown around giving each other a hard time.
“Crazy ass SOLDIER bodies,” Barret muttered. “What’s your excuse?”
“Thought I’d make a wish on the stars, is all,” Aerith said sweetly, and the three returned to the Inn with Barret in the lead, with Cloud and Aerith tentatively grasping hands as they followed.