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Kathryn fiddled with the hem of her nightdress. She tutted, berating herself for being nervous. If she could stare down the Kazon, defend her ship from the Vidiians, then she surely had nothing to fear from an evening cup of tea with Chakotay. It was nothing they hadn’t been doing every night since they woke up on this planet two months ago.
But it seemed different now. In the week since their talk, Chakotay’s fabricated myth of the “angry warrior”, the air had been charged. They were still able to joke, to go back and forth with the same easy banter as before, but now there was something else to it. Now, when they talked, it was like Kathryn could feel Chakotay’s eyes on her, following her, appreciating her without shame.
She’d expected him to make a move. He’d made his feelings clear enough, and when they’d clasped hands, she thought he’d understood that she reciprocated. Still, a week had passed without them getting closer, and Kathryn was getting tired of just imagining the feel of Chakotay’s lips against hers. It was time to take action.
It was the first time she’d worn this nightdress since leaving Voyager. The pink satin had seemed too alluring to wear when she was sure that Chakotay and herself were just colleagues and friends. But now? Now alluring was exactly what she was going for. Chakotay already looked at her like he wanted to eat her up; this nightdress might just push him over the edge.
She ran her fingers through her hair, feeling it still wet from her bath. For a moment she wrestled with whether she should dry it and put it up but she quashed the thought; on this planet she wasn’t the captain, she didn’t need her bun of steel to hide behind.
The tell-tale sound of the door clicked through the shelter.
“I’m back, Kathryn,” She heard him say, greeting her loud enough that she would be able to hear from the other room. “Kathryn?” he asked, when she didn’t respond.
In answer, she stepped into the main living area.
“I’m here, Chakotay. No need to worry – I’ve got nowhere else to be.” She gave him a wry grin.
The look on his face as he took in her nightdress was something to behold. His lips rested slightly open, maybe in shock, maybe in desire. Kathryn felt his eyes flow over her, brushing every crease of the soft pink satin.
To her annoyance, he quickly recovered.
“Nowhere else to be, huh? And there was I thinking that that monkey would have asked you on a date by now.”
She smiled.
“Not yet. The primate’s been remarkably quiet over the past week. I’m beginning to think he’s lost interest.”
If Chakotay understood her double meaning, it didn’t show.
“Maybe he interpreted your open palm as a declaration of war. We don’t yet know the language of his species.” She knew he was joking but his tone was impassive, as though really contemplating the nuances of New-Earth-monkey culture.
“Oh really?” she responded to his deadpan humour in kind. “Do you think we should start shoring up our defences?”
He hummed contemplatively.
“If you want my take as an experienced tactician, my opinion on the matter is that we don’t stand a chance against an army of angry monkeys. All our defences would be for naught.”
Chakotay managed to keep a straight face until his final sentence, when his smile broke out, dimples belying his amusement. Kathryn laughed quietly in return, her mind full of images of monkeys in spikey little Cardassian uniforms, waging war on their little hut. Her mind was eased; she reminded herself that she had nothing to be worried about with Chakotay. Their chemistry was easy, smooth. That they’re relationship would develop seemed inevitable.
Why, then, hadn’t he made a move on her?
She did her best to snap out of her train of thought.
“Would you like tea?” She offered.
He nodded his assent.
“Chamomile would be great.”
She booted up the water boiler and scooped a spoonful of the soft yellow flowers into his regular cup. Since the plasma storm, they had decided to cut back on replicator usage, replicating only the leaves, beans and flowers that made up their regular beverages and getting the water from a more natural source. For herself, she caught a pinch of green tea-leaves, putting them in a delicate cup she was rather fond of.
“Green tea does have caffeine in it, you know,” he jokingly admonished.
“I know. But you can hardly expect me to go cold turkey when I’m used to having triple-shot coffee past midnight.”
He raised his hands in acceptance.
“You’re right. This is still a very meaningful step in your path away from coffee addiction.”
Their hands brushed as she passed him his tea. She was surprised she didn’t spill any – that brief contact had felt like the static build-up on the side of a warp core.
Internally, Kathryn berated herself. She was a confident woman, sure of her own worth and sure of what she wanted. Why was it so hard for her to stop dancing around and start acting on her feelings?
So far, her plan was to provoke Chakotay into acting, limiting how much of herself she would have to put out in the open. If she was frank with herself, she had wanted to seduce him. Woo him, even. She had this image in her mind of her idealised self, drawing him into her space, her hair and body delicate, her gaze full of fire.
Unfortunately, her body didn’t seem to be cooperating with the goal she’d had in mind. Seduction was like a dance she’d learnt in her youth and long since forgotten the moves to. Still, she thought that it was worth a go.
Kathryn put Chakotay’s tea down next to her own, motioning for him to sit down on a chair next to hers, no table to make space between them. She brushed his arm with her hand as he sat, but the move felt awkward, like she was after something (which in a way she was). Before this planet, before any of this tension between them, she had touched him all the time. Why did it feel so embarrassing now?
The silence felt heavy; she broke it with small talk.
“What have you been doing with your time?” she asked. “Any new projects I should get excited about?”
He smiled, her dimples making her heart weak.
“Only the ones you know about – the cabin and the boat.” He gave her a sly look. “And if I did have anything else planned, I don’t think I’d tell you. It’s far too much fun watching you try and wheedle it out of me.” She slapped his thigh in mock-admonishment, her hand lingering after the gesture.
“You enjoy teasing me far too much.”
His eyes trailed down her body, lingering on collarbones. Kathryn could swear she could feel his gaze, like a caress.
“It seems like I’m not the only one who enjoys teasing.” Chakotay’s voice was low, soft.
Oh. So he had noticed.
She steeled her nerves, willing herself not to back down.
“It’s not teasing if you mean to follow through.” Her words were so soft she wasn’t even sure he’d hear them. That was, at least until his hand came up to cup her face. “I’m ready, Chakotay. I’m here if you want -”
His lips were on hers before she could take another breath. She’d thought herself prepared. She was wrong. Kathryn had always been smart, quick-witted, but her brain couldn’t keep up with her body this time. She gave into her body. Let herself not think. Let herself just exist in this moment.
She drank him in, feeling lightheaded and free at the heady pressure of his kiss. The feeling of sharing his air was intoxicating.
After a while – probably seconds, but time had lost all meaning as they kissed – Chakotay drew away just enough so he could talk. She could feel his breath hot on her cheek.
“I’ve always wanted you, Kathryn.”
She smiled, part smug, part bashful.
“Really? You’re sure it’s not just this nightgown wreaking havoc with your senses?”
“Oh it’s definitely doing that,” he said, stroking down the soft pink fabric, making Kathryn shiver. “But only because you’re the one wearing it.”
He grinned as he spoke, that earnest, dimple-cheeked grin that made her want to reach out and touch him. For perhaps the first time, Kathryn allowed herself to appreciate how gorgeous this man was. He’d been stood by her side for over a year now, and any time she’d so much as noticed his attractiveness, she’d squashed those feelings right down.
Now, she was free to run her hand up his side, cup his face and have it be more than just a friendly reassurance from a superior officer. Now, she was allowed to want, allowed to feel the attraction that had threatened to burst through her defences for so long.
“You’re staring,” he said, though he looked pleased at the idea.
Kathryn hummed agreement, the sound low in her throat.
“So are you.” She reached for his hand, stroking it rather than gripping it, beckoning him to her. The contact was light but electric; for the first time Kathryn understood why Vulcans saw hand-holding as such an intimate act. “But I’d rather do more than just stare.”
She stood, thinking to lead him to her bed, feeling brazen. Instead Chakotay stood up only to push her to the table and sweep her into a kiss.
The kiss was as fierce as the first, but this time his whole body was pressed against hers and Kathryn felt overwhelmed in the most delightful way. She could feel the heat of his body, his full lips moving on hers, his tongue demanding entrance as she gasped, lost in the feeling.
It was so much, she felt so much, and yet she knew she needed more by the end of the night. Running her fingers through his hair, she pulled them both back, perching herself on the edge of the table. Her legs opened, and for a second he had to break their kiss to groan, his arousal too much to cope with so fast.
His mouth was back on hers before she could ask if he was okay; the pressure of his body on hers was answer enough. She felt a rush of heat to her core when she felt him hard through the layers of their clothes.
He broke the kiss and she nearly protested, until she felt heated, reverent kisses trailing down her neck, making her feel weak.
“You’re overdressed,” she murmured. Her hands were clutching at his clothes, the barrier feeling offensive to her senses when all she wanted was to feel his skin.
“Then undress me,” he dared. She quirked a smile and did as he asked, her fingers going to lift up the bottom of his shirt.
“Have you dreamed about this?” She wondered aloud.
He hummed his assent. “More times thank you could count.”
“Really?” she unhooked the shirt from his extremities. “Were you having inappropriate thoughts about your captain?”
“Daily,” he admitted, breathless. Kathryn wouldn’t admit it out loud, but the thought drove her mad with desire. This stunning man wanted her even as she had been the consummate professional, the stalwart captain. He’d been dreaming of her back when she was barely able to admit that she was sorely in need of affection, let alone desire. Chakotay went back to kissing her, on her lips, her neck, her shoulders, anywhere he could reach. Kathryn still couldn’t let the thought go.
“And what did you dream of doing to me?” she asked, her voice a low groan.
His hand worked its way up her thigh and she couldn’t hold back a shiver. A finger, broad but gentle, brushed the lace trimmings of her underwear. She sighed.
That seemed to encourage him, his fingers inkling their way to where the soaked fabric covered her core.
“I dreamed of doing this,” he said. “I dreamed of making you wet, teasing you until you begged for me.”
Kathryn Janeway was a proud woman. Begging wasn’t something she’d usually do. Right now, with the heat of him making her blush down to her toes, she was wondering why not.
“I imagined the noises you’d make when I’d touch you right here.” On cue, she moaned at the pressure from where he was brushing against her clit, overwhelming but nowhere near enough. “Yes, like that,” he continued, in awe. “Your voice… It's something I think about a lot. I’ve always wanted to know how you would sound breathless.”
It wasn’t enough, she needed more. She grasped at his hand, pulling it closer, her other hand pressed hard to the skin of his now exposed back. It was now her turn to kiss his neck, breathing in his scent.
Chakotay continued: “I’ve dreamed this too.” For a moment she thought he was drawing back, but really he was pulling himself down her body, his fingers hooked into her soaked underwear, ready to pull them down. “I didn’t think you’d approve, but I did have this recurring fantasy of being the captain’s kept man.” She would have laughed if she wasn’t otherwise occupied. He kneeled between her legs, his eyes hopeful. “Let me do this for you.”
A whispered “yes,” and he was on her, his mouth making delicious contact with her clit. She could feel her own moisture, the vibration of his moans on her, the powerful stroke of his tongue through her folds. Her legs hooked around his back; this seemed to encourage him all the more.
He lapped at her folds, finding his way to her entrance and Kathryn found herself reeling in the best kind of way. Months ago she’d effectively thought herself doomed to a life of celibacy and now she was getting everything she craved. The pressure at her entrance, his persistence in tasting every drop of her essence, it gave her a heady anticipation of what was yet to come.
She was brought back to the present as Chakotay picked up his rhythm. Lost in the feeling, Kathryn’s mind went racing back and forth from one incredible sensation to another. His tongue, its broad strokes lapping at her like she was his final meal. The sight of him on his knees, alight with such desire that he seemed determined to swallow every last drop of her cum.
Then he turned his attention to her clit and she had to swallow a shout.
It was almost too much to handle. It was dazzling. Kathryn didn’t know what to do with her body, she couldn’t keep from writhing under the pressure, and then his hands were on her ass, fingernails digging in, anchoring her in place as Chakotay engulfed her clit, making her see stars. One stroke, two, of his tongue right against her and she felt her body pulse with release.
Somewhere in the back of her mind she was aware she was being very vocal, rasping affirmations so desperately that her throat was going hoarse. But she couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop, not when the force of her release flowed through her whole body begging to be heard.
After the shakes stopped wracking her body and her breathing quietened, Chakotay still didn’t relent, his tongue drawing downwards to lap up the cum from her release. His actions made her shiver, but this wasn’t how she wanted this night to end.
She pulled him away from her core, up above the hem of the nightdress he’d so thoroughly made redundant. He reluctantly followed her lead, raising himself up.
Kathryn drew her eyes away from the wetness, her wetness that coated his mouth and chin, and made herself look him in the eyes.
There was such emotion there, such depth, such desire. His eyes, such a deep and rich and beautiful brown, were now consumed with black.
“Was that everything you hoped for?” Kathryn asked, trying and failing to joke, her voice still heavy with lust.
“Everything and more,” he said, his tone achingly earnest. He leant in a little, caught in her orbit. She could smell herself on him, and the crudeness, the rawness of it all drew her in those last few centimetres to kiss him again.
He melted into her, pressing his body against hers, and all of a sudden Kathryn couldn’t get over how utterly unacceptable it was that there were still any clothes between them. She fingered open his fly, drawing back only a millimetre to breathe her instructions.
“Get. These. Off.”
In the whole year that Chakotay had been the consummate, devoted first officer of Voyager, Kathryn had never seen him follow orders quite so fast. She didn’t bother trying to hide her slack jaw, her appreciating stare of lust as his cock sprung from the confines of his pants. There was no use denying it now; he was a sight to behold, and Kathryn intended to take in every last inch.
Fully naked now, he searched her eyes for permission to remove her nightdress, the last insubstantial scrap of clothing between them. She helped him yank it up, revealing her body to him.
His eyes raked over her, a hand going to cup her breast. The heat of his gaze was powerful, made her feel desired, but it wasn’t what she craved. She needed to feel his body against hers, no barriers in the way, just skin against skin.
Shuffling her butt backwards a little from its position on the desk, Kathryn hooked her leg around his legs, pulling him towards her and into a kiss.
His body juddered, a combination of surprise and desire springing through him at the sudden contact. She could taste herself on him as she licked into his mouth, feel the pressure of his hard cock pressing on her lower abdomen. His hand came up to cradle her back, almost dipping her backwards onto the table, pushing the wide expanse of his chest against her breasts, the dusting of his chest hair grazing her nipples.
Kathryn drew one of her hands down to her own core, sweeping her fingers through her wet folds to gather the moisture before bringing them up to wrap around Chakotay’s length. He let out a gasp into their kiss, shocking his hips forward towards her, unable to control his reaction.
High on this feeling of power, this hold she had over him, Kathryn let out a single, disbelieving laugh as she pumped him in her hand.
“What is it?” He choked out, breathless.
“Just thinking,” she said, punctuating her words with kisses down his neck. “I was worried about seducing you.” She nipped his collarbone. “I didn’t know if I’d still got it.”
Chakotay’s fingers dug into her waist, his mouth kissing hers, stealing her words.
“I can assure you – you’ve still ‘got it’, Kathryn.”
Their next kiss took Kathryn’s breath away, not leaving her space to speak, no space to think about her apprehensions. She pumped his cock languidly, revelling in the way it felt in her hand, how intimate the action was.
He made a sound – almost a growl – and pushed her down so her back was against the desk, arching up to reach him. His cock slipped from her grasp as she lost all conscious motor control, her legs coming up instinctively to wrap around his ass, pull him closer.
She could feel his cock press up against her folds, brushing her clit as he buckled in pleasure, close enough to coat himself in her wetness.
“Kathryn –“ his voice begged permission.
“Yes, do it,” she breathed. It wasn’t a concession, it was an order.
And then he was pressing in and Kathryn couldn’t imagine a time before this, couldn’t imagine any good reason to ever deny herself this. She could feel the delicious stretch of her body, the way she yielded as she felt more and more contact between them, him against her, him in her. She tried to slow down, revel in the feeling, but her body went wild with every inch deeper he went, feeling him impossibly deep, her body impossibly full.
He settled in her, letting out a ragged breath that let her know he was every bit as affected as she was. There was a moment of peace, Chakotay staying mostly still as he cradled her body in her arms. Then her legs clenched around him, unable to bear it any longer, and he started to thrust.
“Yes,” She breathed, feeling relief with her lust as he pulled back and lunged back in. “Yes, faster.”
He complied. Oh, how he complied.
Kathryn could barely catch her breath as he rolled into her, one thrust following the next. His moves were rapid, almost harsh in the best kind of way as he drove into her. She revelled in the decadence of it, the swift thrusts of his cock deep into her, the way his skin brushed her clit with each wave. Kathryn lost track of time to the push and pull of it all, focusing in on the moment, not worrying about what this would mean, not thinking about anything other than the friction, the stretch of him inside her.
After some time, something changed. She couldn’t say what, exactly. Maybe it was from him stroking his fingers down her spine, making her shiver, maybe it was from her hands desperately pulling him down to her neck, but something changed. At the angle he was, he kept hitting that place inside her that made her lose her grip, lose her sense of reality.
He must have noticed somehow, perhaps from her breathing, because he kept it going. He delved in, again and again and again, putting pressure slower, deeper, more devastating than before until her body was wound tight and ready to explode.
She came with such a fury she lost all other senses. It started deep in her cunt, contracting, milking him for all he was worth, before the feeling spread to the rest of her body, shivering and shaking with her release.
Her body wracked with pleasure, still not out of the feeling herself, Kathryn looked up to Chakotay, his expression contorted. His body was shaking with the strain, his jaw clenched as he held himself back for her pleasure. She had an instinctual thought of what he needed.
“So good.” She caressed his face, a gesture that was almost too tender for the eroticism of the moment. “You can let go now.”
So he did.
He pushed into her one last time. His release was so forceful it made Kathryn feel the same feelings of her orgasm all over again, only a little less powerfully than before. When he was done, he collapsed into her, letting her relax into the sweetness of his skin against hers without the need to find release.
It was some time before either of them moved. She eventually extricated herself, the weight of him on her too much for her to bear in her overexerted state. Their bodies were like jelly in the aftermath, and she had little trouble leading him to follow her to her bed.
The single bed was far too small for two people, but neither of them wanted to separate and neither had the strength to do anything other than sleep right now.
As Kathryn nuzzled against Chakotay’s chest, drifting off to sleep, her last thought was that this connection didn’t quite feel like seduction. It felt like something more.
—------------
Light filtered through the shelter, making bright red starbursts on the inside of Kathryn’s firmly closed eyes. She didn’t want to wake up, she was having the most wonderful dream. A warm body pressed against hers, soft and yielding to her touch. The position was off - it should have been uncomfortable - but the warmth and comfort of being wrapped up in someone else more than made up for it. She didn’t want to wake up and give it all up just yet.
Eventually she was woken by a large hand stroking over her shoulder. A large, soft, very real hand.
“Good morning, Kathryn.”
She opened her eyes, nearly dazzled by the fondness of his gaze. Memories of the night before came rushing back, making her quiver.
“Oh,” She sighed. She hoped it wouldn’t be awkward between them, she’d never been good at the whole ‘morning after’ situation. “Good morning.” Her muscles ached in ways she’d forgotten they could. She stretched out, trying to relax.
“Tired out from last night?” He asked. She nodded, smiling contentedly. “Me too.”
“Hopefully not too tired out,” She thought aloud. “I don’t think I could go another year without a repeat performance.”
Chakotay grinned. “That good, huh?”
She patted him in mock-admonishment. “Don’t be so sure of yourself.”
“Really?” He grinned, those distracting dimples showing. “If you wanted more we could always turn it up a notch.”
“Oh?”
He hummed. “We could do roleplay. We could pretend we’re the only people left on the Earth and we desperately need to repopulate the planet.”
Kathryn laughed. “Oh no. I think I have a better fantasy.” She sat up, stroking his chest with her hand. “I could pretend to be a starship captain and you’re the daring, dashing rebel I’ve been ordered to take as my prisoner.”
He chuckled. “I like that one. Imagine the sparks that would fly once they admit their attraction.”
She gazed at him, deliriously happy in the morning light.
“Oh I think it’s more than just attraction.”
His eyes filled with hope, and Kathryn could almost feel herself melt inside.
“More than attraction?” It was a question as he said it, quiet as a whisper.
She hummed agreement. “I think it might be love.”
He surged forward like a dam had broken, holding her face with a reverence and pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was softer, sweeter, than Kathryn had imagined it could be. This didn’t feel like the simple seduction she’d planned; it felt like a promise, a confession of love.
And Kathryn was ready to let herself be loved.