Chapter Text
“Listen, Naoi-kun,” Nekomata said, swishing the beer in his bottle, “I know you were on the other side of this, but you’re a coach now.”
“I know, I know,” he said, “You can trust me.”
“I cannot let this happen. They are representatives of the school, yes, but more importantly, they’re representatives of me.”
“Understood,” Naoi said, “Now let’s get another round and make our plan.”
Step #1: Constant Vigilance
Technically, neither coach had any solid evidence that the boys would attempt to sneak alcohol into the hotel during their exhibition tournament, but they did have precedence. Coach Nekomata had been coaching for a long time and Naoi himself had snuck alcohol into nationals the year he went.
Their first line of defense was simple: monitor the situation. Keep eyes and ears open at all times. The purpose was twofold:
First, they could figure out if it was even something they needed to worry about. Their third years, while two of them were pretty rambunctious, were all much more responsible than they looked.
Second, on the assumption that it was in fact happening, they would be able to figure out how the boys were going to pull it off and plan interference accordingly.
That’s why Nekomata lurked around corners before announcing his presence and moved his chair ten feet closer to the locker room. Information was worth its weight in gold and he was going to be one rich motherfucker.
“Nekomata-sensei, Operation Constant Vigilance has yielded some information,” Naoi said, nodding towards the head coach’s office.
Nekomata simply smiled. He believed in the general adage of trusting nobody, but Naoi was vital to his plan of keeping alcohol out of the hands of his players. The boys were much more likely to be loose-lipped around the younger man, so he didn’t have much of a choice when it came to surveillance options.
“Sit,” he said, gesturing to the little couch in the corner of the room.
“They are planning something,” Naoi confirmed, “Kuroo-kun was talking about it to the team. I heard it slip not once, but twice this week. It seems like most of the team knows. I even overheard Fukunaga-kun talking to one of the first years about it.”
“It’s as I feared,” Nekomata said, stone faced, “My team is a bunch of miscreants.”
“And you’ll never guess who’s leading the charge, the man running the show.”
“Our very own Nekoma’s brain,” Nekomata said, resting his chin on his hand.
“No it’s ac-“ Naoi started, “Yeah, it’s Kenma. You don’t seem too surprised? I didn’t think he’d seem like the type.”
Nekomata laughed, a deep hearty laugh.
“That’s exactly what he wants you to think. Behind Kozume Kenma’s disinterested, shy exterior,” Nekomata said, sagely, “Is a trouble-making little shit.”
Step #2: Cut Off The Head
“Do you need anything from me or can I head out?” Naoi asked, ducking his head into the office.
“Actually, as you’re growing into a mature, independent coach, it might be best for you to witness a hard conversation between coach and player,” Nekomata said, tapping his fingers against the desk, “I’ve asked to have a word with Kuroo-kun. He should be here any minute now.”
“Thank you for the opportunity, sir,” he said, taking his place in the corner of the room.
Coach Nekomata knew that Kuroo wouldn’t particularly care if he got caught with alcohol being that he accepted a job offer directly out of high school, but he knew how to hit Kuroo where it hurt: his friends.
“Coach,” Kuroo said, knocking on the frame of the door, “You said you wanted to see me?”
“Yes, please come in.”
Kuroo sat across from the coach after waving a hello to Naoi.
“What can I do for you?” Kuroo asked.
“I would like to remind you that as the leader of the team, you play a large role in the discipline of the team. You set an example for the other players. Do you not?”
“I do,” Kuroo said, narrowing his eyes, “Are you saying my behavior isn’t up to the highest standards?”
“Woah, there,” Nekomata laughed, putting his hands up in fake surrender, “I am implying no such thing. With the trip coming up, I simply wanted to remind you that I expect the team to be on its best behavior.”
“Of course. Being able to take this trip is a privilege we don’t take lightly.”
Kuroo folded his hands on his lap. He seemed sincere and respectful, but Nekomata could sense something brewing behind that mask.
“Kuroo-kun, I’m going to shoot straight with you. I’ve heard whispers about there being alcohol brought on this trip. I would like to remind you that doing so is very much against school and team rules.”
“We are well aware of the rules,” he said, “With all due respect, my team is a very rule-following bunch, regardless of how rowdy they may be.”
“This is no light matter. Almost all of you have at least one strike, minus the poor first years,” Nekomata explained, “And I would like to ask gentleman to gentleman that you wouldn’t be involving them.”
“Any shenanigans, that I assure you doesn’t exist, will not involve the first years.”
“I know you took the gig with the JVA, but I happened to noticed Kenma’s academic file said he was still on track to go to college, and since he has one strike from The Yamamoto Incident, being caught sneaking alcohol into the hotel could have devastating consequences for his career.” He saw Kuroo’s eyes flash and he continued, “We give you all a free first strike, but once you’ve taken advantage of that, trouble will follow.”
“Come on, now. Kenma?” Kuroo said with a laugh, “You think Kenma of all people is going to sneak alcohol on a trip? He’s always the first one sleeping.”
The two made pointed eye contact before Coach looked away, smiling.
“I think you and I both know that Kenma has a propensity for trouble.”
Kuroo shrugged.
“In volleyball, Kenma is my kouhai, not my friend. I will absolutely stand in the way of him breaking any rules should the need arise.”
“Excellent,” Nekomata said, clasping his hands together, “That is what I needed to hear. If you don’t need anything from me, have an excellent evening.”
The conversation went well, though Nekomata wasn’t particularly convinced he was in the clear. There was clearly something brewing and Kuroo was at the head of it.
Step #3: Substance Checkpoint
“Nekoma students, please drop off all of your bags here. Fukurodani students should be arriving soon. Feel free to make your way to your rooms.”
It was a move that he knew would irritate his students, but Coach Nekomata was more than aware that he was about to find something in at least one of these bags that shouldn’t be there.
Nekomata had also recommended a checkpoint to Coach Yamiji at Fukurodani, but the man rather rudely informed him that his players were responsible, polite young adults, not ‘public school brats’ like Nekomata’s.
Naoi helped Nekomata look through the bags, starting with the most likely contenders for shenanigans. They leafed through them and found some very questionable items, but there was no alcohol in sight nor anything they could get in trouble for.
Coach Naoi was getting ready to leave even though they hadn’t checked the last bag. It belonged to none other than Kai Nobuyuki. Surely, the gentle peacemaker wouldn’t be getting into any trouble.
Much to both of their surprises, there were two entire bottles of soju tucked away in the inner pocket of his bag.
They’d have to go have a talk with the team and one player in particular.
Step #4: Obtain Allies
While Nekomata was unable to convince his colleague to put up a checkpoint, he was able to convince him that they needed to have hall monitors to make sure the boys stayed in their rooms where they belonged. Logistically, he knew Coach Yamiji only agreed to prevent the Nekoma players from getting his own players into trouble, but a success was a success.
Between the parents, coaches, and managers of Fukurodani, the two Nekoma coaches were free for the night. Well, mostly free. Nekomata was intent on babysitting Kenma. Plus, it was much better for him to be awake and alert in case something came up. His boys were often little assholes, but he did care deeply about them.
Step #5: Constrain the Brain
“So, what were you needing to talk to me about?” Kenma asked, following Nekomata into the room, his eyes drawn to the game show on the television.
“Strategy,” Nekomata said, gesturing at a small table.
He didn’t really think through how exactly he was planning on separating Kenma from the others. The thought dawned on him as they were checking bags. It wasn’t like he could steal Kenma away in his hotel room for hours. The optics of that would be… deeply concerning.
He solved the problem he created by purchasing access to the member club in the hotel. It was a clean area with tables and chairs and an assortment of snacks and drinks. A perfectly acceptable, public, place for him to run interference on one of his smartest students. Maybe he could even get Kenma to hydrate and eat something nutritious for once. It would be a double win.
“Can you be more specific?”
“Let’s talk Akaashi,” Nekomata said, “Have you noticed what I have?”
Nekomata hadn't noticed anything about him, but figured if that was the case, it’d take Kenma longer to come up with something.
“I’m not sure that I have,” Kenma responded with a frown, “Let me think.”
Nekomata smiled. Kenma could have all of the time he wanted.
“I’m going to brew up some coffee, can I get you something?”
Kenma didn’t even bother to glance up.
“Nah, thanks though.”
Kenma thought with silence on his end for quite a bit. His coach smiled as he made his drink. This was going to be way easier than he thought. Kenma didn’t seem in a hurry to return to his room. There must be no nefarious plan after all.
Nekomata returned to the table, sitting down, as he considered just how long he needed to run interference. He determined the correct answer was until he got bored. It wasn’t like he had anything else to do, and plus, Kenma fascinated him. He always wanted an insight into that brain.
“Good eye, Coach,” Kenma murmured, “Why do you think he’s doing it?”
Nekomata froze. He had no idea what Kenma was talking about, so he couldn’t answer the question.
“Well, think it through,” he said, folding his hands.
Kenma paused for a moment, tapping his fingers against the table.
“We all know that seniority is really important to Fukurodani, but Onaga-kun is pretty decent- especially for a first year,” Kenma mused, “And then there’s politics with Bokuto-san.”
“Hmm,” Nekomata said. Now that his attention was drawn to it, Kenma was absolutely right. Onaga’s offensive plays were few and far between in the practice games they’d played lately.
“Think he’s got a small injury?” Kenma asked.
“I don’t think it’s impossible.”
“Is it bad form to pressure him with serves?” Kenma asked.
“Maybe you should transfer to Nohebi,” Nekomata pointed out, “Once Kuroo-kun leaves of course.”
Kenma seemed to ignore that sentiment entirely.
“But you said we were talking about strategy, so what strategy are you thinking that’s not targeting him.”
Nekomata clenched his jaw. His specially selected brain was in fact intelligent. Who would have thought that would have ended up being a disadvantage in some cases?
Step #6: Revel in Success
Coach Nekomata laughed to himself as he swiped into the third years’ room. He’d won. He’d beaten Nekoma’s brain. He prevented those pesky boys from smuggling in alcohol.
The reason he was in their room was because the Fukurodani Parent Association had brought all of Fukurodani’s third years farewell gift baskets and were kind enough to put together three for Nekoma as well.
They were adorable little baskets with candy and keychains and he was more than happy to deliver them as a surprise. His boys deserved the world and he was happy to reward them.
He went to set the three baskets on their counter, but did a double take. There were three empty bottles of soju sitting where he was going to set the baskets.
He just set them down on the counter next to the bottles and laughed. He’d been beaten, fair and square.