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This was not the New Year’s Eve Izayoi had been hoping for. Sitting in the bathroom in Mizuki’s apartment, her eyeliner smudged from stifling tears, mascara on her fingers. The throbbing bass from the sound system in the other room only added to the faint headache she was currently nursing. Everything had been going wrong for weeks and tonight had been the final straw. “Stupid. How could I have thought he was the one?” she moaned into her hand, grabbing another piece of toilet paper (honestly, who didn’t keep tissues in their bathroom?!) to dab at her eyes in hopes of minimizing the damage.
Her dress felt stuffy in the tiny bathroom, the gauzy layers sticking to her skin and catching on her shoes as she perched on the toilet stool. It had seemed perfect when he helped her pick it out weeks ago for the gala. Smokey layers of white, gray, and black that shifted and floated when she moved. It was just the right balance of dramatic and understated.
Now she just felt trapped in it.
A knock on the door perked her head up, another handful of tissue snatched up to dab at her face before she checked in the mirror. A little pale, maybe a smidge puffy, but overall there was no real evidence of her tears. “Almost done, sorry!” she called to forestall further knocking.
With a fortifying breath, Izayoi was finally able to step out of the bathroom. The other party guest hardly fazed her as she passed by, fluttering skirts trailing behind her as she kept moving. She needed to find Mizuki, excuse herself, and get a cab home. “Iz…” She kept moving, kept heading for the kitchen. “Izzy…” Heels clipping smartly on the hardwood floor, asynchronous with the beat of the music, Izayoi marched up to Mizuki at the punch bowl. Her friend’s sweet smile faded under glitter lined eyes, flicking from her face to someone behind her. Izayoi took a breath.
“Mizuki, the party is lovely, but I need to head home.”
“It’s… not even midnight.”
"Izayoi…"
"I," she interrupted loudly, "need to go home." Mizuki blinked, the little flecks of silver glitter refracting the light coming from the twinkling fairy lights strung above her cabinets. Again her eyes shifted over Izayoi’s shoulder and back to her friend’s face.
“I-If you’re sure, Love. I’ll call you a cab.” Mizuki looked skeptical.
“No, there’s no need…”
“Yes, that would be lovely," Izayoi spoke over the other voice. "Thank you so much, Mizuki.”
A deep growl resonated down her spine. “Izayoi. Stop pretending as though I am not here.”
Finally, she turned and faced the source of her pain. He looked a little haggard, his tux shirt unbuttoned, his bowtie draped around his neck. It was not the impeccably dressed look Touga had been sporting earlier in the evening. “Do you need something?” she asked snippily.
He sighed. “Yes. Your attention for longer than 3 seconds.” She stared up at him balefully, the only acknowledgement he was going to get to his request, apparently. “Will you please let me explain what happened?” He forestalled her gearing up to argue. “Without interrupting?” There was a flash of irritation in her stormy gray eyes, but she nodded tightly. “I’ll take you home, we can talk, and then you can decide if you want to throw me out.”
Izayoi contemplated his offer. It would be nice not to have to worry about getting a cab on one of the busiest nights of the year. She was still angry at him, and deeply hurt, but she also knew that he would ultimately respect her wishes and leave if she asked, so it made sense to hear him out at least. “Fine.” The tall inuyoukai let out a held breath and turned to go collect her coats from the Mizuki’s bedroom.
“Iz are you sure?” Mizuki whispered when he was presumably out of earshot.
She wasn’t, but it was the better option. “Yea. I might as well get some closure.” Her friend’s eyes were sympathetic, a hand reaching out to squeeze her forearm. Izayoi gave her a grateful though lopsided smile. She promised to call tomorrow after she’d gotten through the rest of the night and got some sleep. Touga returned, sliding her peacoat over her shoulders and placing his hand at the oh-so-familiar spot on the small of her back. It was achingly comforting, the reminder that his strength was behind her if she needed it. Except it isn’t, not really… she thought, leaning away from his touch as they reached the stairs. The way he curled his long fingers away, hesitancy and irritation warring in the movement of his joints, told her he was all too aware that it was intentional on her part.
It had begun weeks ago, the inconsistencies, the little lies. Izayoi had brushed it off as stress on both their parts. She was finishing up the last of the grants meant to go out before the holidays and he had the board of directors at the hospital all over him about the budget. Why was it that everyone rushed to “save money” at the end of the year? The fundraising gala on New Year’s Eve was The Event of the year, the event that would likely garner both the hospital, and - less directly - the pediatric orthopedic clinic she worked for, a fair portion of their funding for at least the first quarter. All the biggest donors came out of the woodwork and it was crucial that they put on the party they all expected.
So at first it had been easy to assume that Touga was taking phone calls to finalize catering decisions, the florists, the alcohol vendors, and the waitstaff needed to handle the event. But the fact that he would leave the room every time started to nag at her. The furtive looks in her direction. The somewhat plaintive tone in his voice when he spoke to someone, as though begging for forgiveness. Touga was not someone who begged, and he wasn’t secretive as a general rule. Izayoi had asked him about it in a teasing manner, not wanting to outright accuse him of… She hadn’t even known what she suspected at the time. Just… something.
Christmas had been particularly odd. They had a quiet evening alone in his condo with romantic lighting and a wonderful meal. However, he had been somewhat withdrawn, checking his phone often, jumping at her touch. But that night their lovemaking had been amazing and it had nearly pushed all her doubts out of her mind. Nearly.
Up until tonight, her suspicion that something was going on behind her back had been increasing incrementally but Izayoi had been trying to brush it off as her imagination. She knew how important this event was and how much pressure both the hospital, and Touga himself, was putting on him to make sure it went off without a hitch. The cooing tone in his voice when he spoke to someone on the phone just prior to her coming out of her apartment, and the way he swiped the screen to hang up and smashed it into his pocket so quickly had her heart in her throat.
He didn’t speak, then blurted out, “You look amazing.” Izayoi had to breathe a moment before plastering a smile on her face and accepting his extended arm to lead her out to the car waiting for them. She sipped the champagne in the flute as he rambled about the last minute fixes to the night but tasted nothing. Her inuyoukai boyfriend had never given her reason to doubt him before. Tonight every move he made, every nervous chuckle, every covert glance at his phone or his watch, all pointed to something happening other than the event.
Izayoi had made it through the fake smiles, rubbing elbows with the rich and powerful to get their attention and flirt a few extra thousand out of them in support of the clinic and the hospital. She even made it through the dinner, sitting at Touga’s side. But when it came to making the big speech about how much the event meant for the hospital and its clinics, how much they had made so far, and drumming up attention to the silent auction, she just couldn’t . The gossips had made it clear that he was making a big change and that they were all relieved. The looks in her direction, the whispering… It only confirmed what she had been fearing. He was ending it. So, no, she wouldn’t stand up there on that stage with him and smile in front of all these people, half of which were probably snickering behind her back. She would maintain at least some of her dignity.
The confused look on his face when she refused to join him made her angry. How dare he look as though she were hurting him when he fully intended to break her heart? So she left. She caught a cab to Mizuki’s and had been in the bathroom for a fair chunk of the evening.
Izayoi startled when the car came to a stop in front of her apartment. The silence in the car had allowed her time to get her thoughts somewhat in order, but mostly she had been sucked into the mire of her sadness and sense of loss. Touga had been her first true love. Not just an encounter or a fling, but a true relationship. Now it was ending and she didn’t even really know why.
Touga allowed her space to walk ahead of him as they entered her building and into the elevator. There was little space for them to be apart due to the small enclosure and the flounces of her skirt. He tucked himself into the corner as best he could in hopes of making her feel more comfortable. Based on her scent, it wasn’t working. He was… lost. He didn’t understand what had happened that made her refuse him earlier in the evening and then try to pretend he didn’t exist at Mizuki’s.
The click of her heels down the hallway got him moving, afraid she would leave him behind and lock the door if he didn’t keep up. As it was, she had her keys in the door before he caught up. The dark silence in her apartment was cloying instead of comforting as it usually was. He loved her little apartment. It was nice, but it had an extra homey feel that he didn’t have in his own place. It felt like a place where people lived , not just slept and kept their stuff. Right now he didn’t feel that same sense of comfort and it led him to understand that it was far less the apartment itself and much more about the woman who lived in it. He blinked as the table lamp by the couch flicked on, the dull light not hiding how puffy her eyes were, how her makeup had run. “Izayoi…”
“Just get it over with.”
“Wh-What?”
She frowned. “You’re obviously ending it. Clean slate for the new year, I’m sure.”
Touga could only blink in confusion for several moments, his brain trying to process what she was saying. “Ending… You think… You think I’m breaking up with you?!” Her slim arms crossing over her chest made it clear that she had no intention of repeating herself. “That’s… That’s not it at all,” he insisted.
“All the whispers, the hush hush phone calls, the messages, the…”
He waved his hands as though to wipe away her words, then reached toward her to try and wipe away the tears that had sprung up in her eyes. “No, no, Little Rabbit. That’s not it at all.” An involuntary and partially stifled sob met his use of the pet name. “I’m sorry if that’s what you thought.”
“So the secretive calls, going in the other room… I’m supposed to believe that nothing was going on and you weren’t hiding anything?”
He paused, his mouth hanging open. Izayoi threw her wristlet onto the couch in resigned fury. “No! Iz! It wasn’t… Yes, I was hiding something, but it’s not anything bad.”
“I thought we trusted each other!”
“We do!”
“And that we don’t keep secrets!”
“Of course, normally…”
“So why wouldn’t you tell me? I deserve to know why you’re breaking up…” Touga vaulted the couch in one smooth movement and took hold of her shoulders with surprising care.
“No, no, no,” he murmured. “Everything went wrong. But it…” He let go with one hand so he could dig in his tux coat and yank something out. It was inky in the dark room, not reflecting any light. Touga took a deep breath before flicking it open with his thumb, revealing a silky interior. “This was what it was all about.” Izayoi stared at him agape for another breath before finally lowering her eyes to what he was trying to show her. A narrow band in some silver-toned metal lay nestled in the dark folds of the box. Something caught the light and Izayoi gasped. A smokey amethyst stone with a pair of triangle diamonds set into the band glinted up at her. “Be my wife, Izayoi. My mate. There is nothing in the world I want more than that.”
“Wh-What? But all this…”
“I wanted to surprise you. I planned to do it at the gala up on stage.”
“So then you were…”
“Making sure that the event coordinator knew when to cue the music. And the florists had the right bouquet to give you afterward. They were supposed to bring up a tray with champagne for us to drink when everyone toasted us.” He sighed. “A very elaborate plan that I’m realizing was not the way to go. This is a private thing. It’s not about them. It’s about us.” Izayoi sat abruptly on the couch as though the weight of what was going on had finally caught hold of her. Touga crouched at her side, looking up into her weepy gaze. “So I’ll ask you again, in your home, just us: Izayoi, will you please be my wife and mate?”
Tears slipped down her cheeks before she took a shuddering breath in and let it out through pursed lips. “Yes,” she sighed, pressing her hands into her lap as if trying to contain them. “Yes.”
Touga couldn’t help the fangy grin that split his face. His arms were around her and he scooped her into his lap so he could kiss her over and over. “Are you sure?” he murmured against her neck as he held her close. He felt her nod against him. “Really?”
Izayoi’s warm laugh echoed in his ears. “Really.” She pulled back enough to place a peck on the end of his nose. “But no more big secrets, deal?”
“Deal.”
“I don’t know how you got into this thing alone,” Touga muttered, obvious frustration in his tone.
“I didn’t. Kira from next door helped me,” she explained with a light chuckle. He made a soft sound of triumph as he finally grasped the concealed zipper at the small of her back and slid it down far enough to free her hips. The dress made a soft “whumph” as it hit the floor around her feet. Her heels were already discarded by the closet door, her jewelry on top of her dresser. He had at least laid out his tux coat on the back of the couch, but everything else was tossed aside. His long arms wrapped around her waist, cradling her against him for a moment as he took in her scent and felt all the stress from the night - really from the last several weeks - melt away. This, right here, was home.
There was an audible sigh that came from the mattress as much as the pair that landed on it. The sheets accepted them with whispers of warmth and the promise of sleeping in come morning. Neither one had anywhere pressing to be. No obligations. Touga smirked softly at the woman below him, the swirls of her hair on the pillow drawing his fingers. He scrunched the strands in his hand as he met her lips with his own. It was soft, slow… cozy.
Her palm slid up his neck, the faint chill of the metal band on her finger in contrast with the heat of her skin.
Izayoi smiled against his lips when he pressed in closer, a sigh through his nose. He always did like it when she ran her nails over the nape of his neck. There were only soft sighs, sounds of pleasure until there were fireworks.
Actual fireworks that lit up the sky and exploded, startling the two apart for a brief moment.
“Must be midnight. We're missing the ball drop," Izayoi murmured, her gray eyes glittering as they reflected the light through her window. Touga nodded but shrugged. There was nowhere else in the world he would rather be, no one else he would rather be with than her. His Izayoi.
“Happy New Year, Little Rabbit,” he breathed.
She grinned. “Happy New Year, My Love.”
The fireworks outside faded, the cabs honked at each other on their way across town. There was a late night bustle that occurred on this singular night of the year that made it feel like the city was turning over, starting anew. Tomorrow it would be more settled, comfortable in its new skin. Touga and Izayoi too felt the need to settle into the newness, to ease their way into what now could be. Touga ran his fingers through her hair as she fell asleep on his chest, her soft breaths across his skin. He smiled to himself even as his eyes started to droop closed. Even though he’d really dropped the ball when it came to The Plan… they had ended up where they were meant to be.
And that’s all that mattered.