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“For the last time, Robin, I’m not seeing anyone.” Steve groans, trying to get Robin off his case. She’s been pestering him for weeks since he’s seemingly given up sleeping around. Robin is convinced Steve has a secret girlfriend and doesn’t want to tell her. In all honesty, Steve hasn’t really felt anything towards a girl since everything that happened with Vecna. He’s thankful Vecna is dead, but the memories haunt him. All of it haunts him. From the minute Will disappeared those years ago to finally killing Vecna with Eddie by his side.
He’s gotten a little closer with Eddie since then. Mostly just a trauma bond. The guy still annoys the shit out of Steve. Can one person really be that obsessed with Dungeons & Dragons? Does he have to talk about it all the time? And for fuck’s sake, can he do something about that hair? Oh, and don’t even get Steve started on the persistent talking and teasing. Drives him up a wall. But, yeah, they’ve gotten a little closer.
“Since when does ‘King Steve’ not see anyone? And don’t get an attitude with me. I’m your best friend, so sorry for just wanting to know what you’re up to.” Robin rolls her eyes and goes back to restocking shelves at Family Video. He doesn’t give her a reply. He doesn’t usually get annoyed with Robin, and he truly isn’t. It’s more so that she expects him to be sleeping with someone. Is his reputation really that bad? Sure he’s had a wild fling of affairs, but he cares more about his children and friends to give a shit about a woman who wants to sleep with him. Or be with him in like a totally real relationship. There were moments in the Upside Down where he wanted nothing more than to ask for Nancy’s hand and be with her again, but he realizes that was fear. Nancy was the only one in that group who had seen a different side of him. The boyfriend side. The in love side. He felt that her lingering love might get him through hell. Once they were out of the Upside Down, once Nancy was free of Vecna’s curse, he knew he didn’t love her anymore. He’ll always have a platonic love for her, but not romantic. She loves Johnathan. He loves…
The bell on the door rings, causing both Steve and Robin to look up. Eddie Munson. Wonderful. He’s already getting shit from Robin. Let’s just add more to it. And to top it all off, his hair was not cooperating this morning. Steve subconsciously reaches a hand to his hair to tidy it up.
“What? Getting yourself all pretty for me, Stevie?” Eddie says, leaning his elbows on the counter.
“Huh? Oh! No, I was just, uh—“
“I’m flattered, truly. I’ve always known you’ve had a soft spot for me.”
“Fuck off.” Steve says with an eye roll and Eddie just gazes up from his spot on the counter. Eddie’s eyes bore a hole into the side of Steve’s head. He can feel his already too tight collar closing in on his throat. Suddenly the air feels hotter and his hands shake as he types nonsense in the computer. He gives a small glance over, Eddie’s eyes not leaving him for a moment. It’s fucking terrifying. Steve clears his throat and tries to look unaffected. He pokes random letters on the keyboard, slides the mouse around for fun, maybe does a couple clicks, then starts it all over again. He’s completely zoned out. So zoned out he doesn’t realize there’s someone behind him.
“Now, if my eyes are seeing things correctly, I would say that computer is not on, Stevie.” Eddie says in the most condescending voice Steve—definitely not “Stevie”—has heard. “I think you’re seeing things, Eddie. This computer is on.” His reply is met by a laugh from across the store. Robin. Of course Robin heard.
“You’re a horrible liar and hilarious under pressure.” She says in between giggles.
“Who says I’m under any pressure?”
“You’re putting yourself under pressure.” This time it’s Eddie. His voice comes out in almost a whisper. Quiet enough Robin can’t hear, but not too quiet that Steve would have to get closer. “How am I doing that?” He replies, genuinely curious. “By trying to not be so affected by me.”
This time Steve laughs. Not out of humour, or to play along with Eddie’s joke, but because he can’t form a sentence in response. He’s not affected by Eddie. That would be silly. Eddie’s a nerd and Steve’s a jock. They wouldn’t mix well. Oh, and not to mention, Steve likes girls and Eddie does, too. He thinks. About the Eddie part. Not him. He definitely, one hundred percent, likes girls. Definitely.
“My, have I made King Steve speechless?” His voice is still an almost whisper. It sends chills down Steve’s spine. He shakes his head as a response. “Seems like you’re pretty speechless to me.” He turns around and Eddie steps back just enough so their faces aren’t touching. Still, Steve can’t find a word to say. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. “I, uh…” He tries really hard to speak, and Eddie smiles. “This is very entertaining, Stevie. I didn’t know it was possible to fluster you. Robin!” Eddie turns from Steve to whatever direction Robin may be in and continues, “Did you know it was possible to fluster Stevie, here?”
“You know, Eddie, I don’t think I did! Wow! Steve! Your first time being flustered is by Eddie Munson?”
Steve nods in agreement earning a cackle from Robin and a grin from Eddie.
~~~~
He gets home from work that afternoon and immediately runs up to his room, thankful his parents are out of town. If they weren’t, they’d hear Steve talking to himself about Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson. He paces his room and goes on and on about every possible reason why he got flustered. Maybe he was having an off day. Yeah. People have off days all the time. He hasn’t been that close to a person who wasn't injured or dying in a while so he’s off his game. Not that he needs to have game to talk to Eddie. He’s just a friend. Less than that even. He’s, well, Eddie.
Was Eddie pacing his trailer—a new one seeing as the government took his old one due to there being a gate, obviously—thinking about Steve? No. Eddie likes girls. He thinks. Again. He’s never seen Eddie talk to a girl besides Robin and Nancy, who clearly don’t have attraction towards him. Maybe Eddie is the private, different town, dating type. Won’t let anyone see what girl he’s with. Or maybe Eddie just doesn’t date. Impossible. Who wouldn’t want to date Eddie? Wait.
“God dammit.” He breathes. He needs to call Robin. As he runs down the stairs, the phone rings. He’s praying it’s Robin since she’s quite literally the only person who calls their house. Besides his parents' friends. But that’s neither here nor there right now. Right now, all that matters to Steve is getting to that phone and hearing Robin’s voice.
He picks up the phone and presses it to his ear. He takes a deep breath then says, “Rob?” The voice on the other end chuckles. Fuck. Not Rob. “Sorry, Stevie, not Rob.” Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Eddie. “Heeeeeey, Eddie. Whaa…why, uh, why are you calling?” Smooth. Real smooth. The shake in Steve’s voice is most definitely coherent on the other end. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against the wall. He’s fucked.
“I’m having an issue. See, tonight was band practice night, but our drummer came down with something.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“Let me finish, Stevie. Our drummer is sick, so the rest of the guys cancelled. I’m not like doing anything tonight if you wanted to maybe come over? Watch a movie?”
All the air escapes his lungs. He wanted to be on the phone with Robin since he’s pretty sure he’s having a gay crisis, but instead he’s on the phone with the reasoning for his possible gay crisis. He can’t find words again. His mind is screaming at him to say “Sorry, Ed. Can’t. Gotta help Dustin with homework. Super boring stuff.” When he opens his mouth to say just that, he says, “Sure. I’ll be over in ten.” Eddie gives him a simple reply and hangs up. Steve slides down to the floor and allows himself one minute to cry. Just one. Once he’s done, he gets up and heads out the door.
~~~~
He didn’t have time to call Robin because god knows she would talk for hours after Steve told her he possibly has a thing for Eddie. She would be happy for him, he knows it, but it’s too much to talk about at this moment. Actually, he would want to talk about it if it hadn’t been Eddie that called. Now, there’s this Eddie shaped thing on his plate that makes it hard to focus on anything else. He tries to tell himself not to freak out because if something goes horribly wrong, he wouldn’t have gotten his best friend’s hopes up.
He gets out of his car and purposely walks very slow to Eddie’s door. He waits just a moment, then knocks. It doesn’t take Eddie long to answer the door since it’s a trailer. Steve wishes the trailer was longer so it took more time. He needed a little more of his moment. Eddie opens the door and Steve’s jaw drops slightly. Eddie isn’t wearing his signature vest or black jeans and chains. Of course he’s wearing his Hellfire Club shirt, but with black sweatpants that are tucked into his white socks. Oh, and his hair is in a bun. That’s new.
“Earth to Stevie. Hello?” Steve is brought back to reality by Eddie whistling and waving his hand in his face. “Ah, there you are. Welcome to my humble abode where, hopefully, there are no inner dimensional portals to another world.” Eddie stands back and holds his arm out as a way to wordlessly tell Steve to come in. Steve nods and walks in, taking a glance at Eddie while the latter shuts the door. Though Steve is used to a big house, Eddie’s trailer is very homey. It’s nice he doesn’t live with his uncle anymore. Eddie deserves that freedom. His uncle fucked off to who knows where after all that shit went down. His uncle isn't a bad person. He's the opposite. Some things are a little too hard to handle, no matter how kind of a soul. Now, it’s just Eddie. Steve feels sad at that. He wonders if Eddie gets lonely here all by himself. He looks up and Eddie’s already made his way to the couch.
“Take a seat wherever. I cleaned today, so you can actually see my couch.” Steve smiles and sits on the very opposite end. Eddie gives him a look, but doesn’t say anything. He realizes that this is the first time he’s ever hung out with Eddie one on one. No possible interruptions. Just him and the freak hanging out. He mentally cringes when he refers to Eddie as a freak. Maybe he’s the freak. He has feelings for a guy. He doesn’t think it’s wrong to like a guy, he never expected he’d be the one to like a guy. But he likes girls. He really does. He also likes Eddie. He can’t like both. It’s one or the other. He notices how quiet (and awkward) it is, so he breaks it.
“What were you wanting to watch? If you asked when I was at work I could’ve snagged whatever so you didn’t have to pay.”
“Stevie, it’s funny you think I buy these movies. I haven’t returned a single movie I’ve rented. Perks of paying in cash. They can’t charge a card.”
Steve laughs while Eddie continues, “I hope you like horror because I’ve been itching to watch Children of the Corn. Haven’t seen it in a while. Have you?” Steve shakes his head. “Never seen it. I’m fine with watching it.” Truth is, he hates horror. Ever since all this Upside Down nonsense started, he’s hated horror films. Eddie seems excited though. He doesn’t want to ruin that. Eddie pops the VHS into the player, then sits back down. This time, he's slightly closer to Steve. Steve wants to move closer, but doesn't know how to do it inconspicuously. Usually he's fine being all over a girl, but Eddie isn't a girl. He wants to impress Eddie.
"Eddie?"
"Yes, Stevie?"
"Got any beer?"
"What a silly question. Of course I do! I'll go grab us one." Eddie gets up and moves to the kitchen, allowing a bit of time for Steve to shimmy over to the middle seat. He tries to make it look more casual by slipping off his shoes and resting a leg on the couch. He slouches and nearly melts into the couch. Eddie comes back, two beers in hand. He hands one to Steve and sits closer. They're only about half a cushion apart. Steve's content with this for now. He's close, but not so close it'll freak Eddie out.
The movie plays and Steve really doesn't know why he agreed to horror. He's trying to hold back his jumps and gasps, but he's not very good at that. He gets so uncomfortable watching scenes play out that he has to resituate himself. He fixes his posture and brings his knees up to his chin. His arms wrap around his legs as a way to ground himself. He can feel Eddie's gaze, just like in the video store. He's watching him, trying to figure him out. Steve takes a chance and looks over. Eddie smiles.
"Don't tell me you don't like the movie, Stevie." Eddie says with playfulness in his voice and a tilt to his head.
"It's…well, I do, but I don't…" His words get stuck when Eddie presses a light hand to his knee. He looks to the hand and blushes and back up to Eddie who makes him blush even more. He gets a good look. Eddie is the definition of puppy dog eyes. His eyes are always so full of hope, even after everything they went through. His eyes are the most beautiful burnt hazel and Steve could get lost in them. Eddie's lips are perfectly pink. He feels himself swipe his tongue over his own lips at the thought of Eddie's. When he realizes what he's doing, he pulls his knee away from Eddie.
"You okay, Harrington?" That. That feels like a blow to the stomach. No "King Steve". No "Stevie". No slightly annoying pet name. Harrington. Like Steve's some guy Eddie doesn't care to be friends with. Some guy Eddie doesn't know. Someone he passes in the hall. Someone who used to stand by when Eddie was getting beat up by his friends. Steve used to just watch his friends (ex-friends, but that's not important to him right now.) beat the shit out of Eddie. He would look in horror as Eddie's lip bled or his eye got dark. He never helped. He'd laugh along when one of his friends looked over.
"I'm sorry." he chokes out. His eyes have gone glassy, his breath shaky.
"What? What's wrong?" Eddie's voice comes out like a concerned father. It's funny that Steve can make that connection seeing as his dad never got concerned about Steve's feelings.
"I used to be so mean to you." Steve looks over and Eddie has nothing but fondness in his eyes. "Stevie, you saved my life. I don't give a shit about anything in high school. You never gave me a black eye. You were under the influence of your douchebag friends."
"Not my friends anymore. I have better friends now."
"Yes, you do. Stevie."
"Why do you never call me by my name?" he asks. Eddie's eyes flicker around a little. Before he can answer, Steve speaks up.
"You always call me by a nickname. Never my real name. Why?"
"Saying your name feels too real. Like you might disappear if I say it." Steve blushes at Eddie's words, and he lets himself. He doesn't care if Eddie notices. He scoots closer, their arms brushing. Neither of them move. They don't say a word, or move an inch. Steve understands why. He doesn't want Eddie to disappear. Much to his dismay (sort of), Eddie speaks.
"Stevie?"
"Mhm?"
"Do you, uhm, do you like men?"
He doesn't hesitate. "Yes. I'm almost certain." When he peaks at Eddie, he's never seen such a big smile on the boy. "What makes you not certain?" Eddie asks, smiling never faltering. "I truly loved Nancy. I know I like girls. But I also like boys. Is there a word for that? Is it even allowed to like both?"
Eddie chuckles, then says, "It's called bisexuality. You like both."
"Bisexuality. I'm a…bisexual." The word feels foreign on his tongue. He's still scared and confused, despite knowing the word and knowing who he is. He's not confused about his sexuality, but why Eddie asked. Does this mean what Steve thinks it means?
"Do you like men, Eddie?"
"I do." His voice is back to that almost whisper. He's only ever seen Eddie so insecure once. It was the moment Robin told Eddie everyone and their mother would be looking for him. Eddie had said, "Hunt the freak, right?" Steve now understands why Eddie is viewed as a freak. It's not the obsession with Dungeons and Dragons. It's not his crazy hair. It's not his persistent talking and teasing. It's because he's gay. The world looks down upon people like Eddie. People will now look down on Steve. People who they are probably neighbors with will hate them.
Steve gets close. Impossibly close. Their legs are pressed right against each other. Eddie's hands are picking at his sweatpants. Steve holds onto them. Eddie’s hands are soft, minus the calloused fingertips from playing guitar. He hears Eddie exhale a deep breath. They turn and look at each other, breaking the focus from Steve's hands wrapped tightly around Eddie's. In this moment, he sees Eddie. Like fully sees him. He sees the scared boy from high school that never had a real friend. Not until The Party came around. He sees the boy who would cry in the halls and walk home alone. His heart breaks. His eyes water.
"King Steve, are you…crying?"
Steve laughs wetly, wipes a tear and says "Over you? Absolutely not."
"Don't lie, Stevie."
"That's not my name." All tears are gone. The air changes from gloomy and cold, to warm. Incredibly warm. The mood shifts. They're no longer sappy boys talking about sexuality. They're boys who have dreamt of this moment.
"Ask me something, Eddie. Ask me anything, but say my name."
"May I kiss you, Steve Harrington?"
Steve doesn't even give an answer. He presses his lips gently to Eddie who sighs into his mouth. The kiss is practically juvenile. They're like two teenagers experiencing what it's like to kiss someone for the first time. It's perfect. Their lips move against each other slowly. Eddie tastes like shitty beer and strawberry suckers.
"You taste like shitty beer and strawberry suckers" Steve says against Eddie's mouth. Eddie laughs in return and it's the best sound Steve has ever heard.
"Is that a bad thing, darling?"
"Certainly not. What do…I taste like?"
"Shitty beer and an attitude."
Steve swats Eddie's chest. Eddie laughs again and wraps his arms around Steve's waist, laying back and pulling the younger boy onto his chest. Steve's been in this position before, but roles were flipped. He likes being held by Eddie. Eddie feels safe. The longer he lays and thinks, the more worrisome he becomes. Him and Eddie get in petty arguments like all the time. He’s surprised they haven't gotten in one today. Add that to being gay in a small town, they won’t be good together. People will drive them apart. Their own fear and anxieties will drive each other apart. He could never be what Eddie needs.
“What are you thinking about?” Eddie asks and Steve pops his head up, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“How did you know I was thinking about something?”
“You do this thing when you think. Your breathing gets unsteady and you tap your fingers.” Steve looks down and sees his fingers moving rhythmically against Eddie’s shoulder. “So, what’s on your mind?”
“I really like you, Eddie. Like a lot. I’d do anything you’d ask me to. What if people get angry if they see us together?”
“We’re together?”
“Do you want to be?”
Eddie answers with a kiss. Not as gentle as before, but soft enough it makes Steve melt. He’ll never get tired of this.
“Steve Harrington, be my boyfriend.” They kiss again. Eddie’s hands hold onto Steve’s face while his hands hold onto Eddie’s waist. Everything in Steve’s mind is telling him he needs more more more, so he shifts up, Eddie following suit. Eddie sits up, his back resting on the arm of the couch. Steve’s straddling Eddie’s lap, holding onto his shoulders. Eddie’s hands run down Steve’s back and land on his waist. He squeezes his love handles and brushes a finger under the hem of Steve’s shirt. Steve breathes heavily against Eddie’s lips at the touch causing Eddie to place his whole hand on Steve’s bare waist. Steve wraps his arms around Eddie’s neck, bringing them closer, and reaches a hand up to tug on Eddie’s hair tie.
“Want your hair down.” Steve says in between kisses. Eddie nods, giving Steve the okay to take his hair out of the bun. He tries to be as gentle as possible, but with Eddie’s hair texture it’s a bit difficult. Especially since he’s doing it while making out. When Eddie’s hair is finally down, Steve pulls back. Eddie whines and squeezes Steve’s hip.
“I love you with your hair down.” he says breathlessly, only realizing what he said once the words left him. He loves Eddie. Like romantically. He loves him. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like that. Maybe. Fuck.” He drops his head to Eddie’s shoulder who doesn’t say a word. A minute passes and, once again, Eddie laughs.
“Fuck, do you know how long I’ve waited for you to say that? Since like freshman year.”
“What?”
“Yeah, man. You were a dick, but fuck if I didn’t fall hard for King Steve. Me calling you over tonight was my half-assed way of asking you out.”
“This is a date?”
“Considering you’re my boyfriend and you love me, yeah. This is definitely a date.”
“What if people judge us? What if we argue all the time? How do we do it?”
“I think we could do it if we tried. Just say you’re mine.”
“I’m yours, Eddie Munson.”
~~~~
It’s Hellfire Night. It’s being held in Mike Wheeler’s basement. The members of Hellfire will all be there plus Robin, Nancy, and Johnathan. Yeah, and Steve. He was dragged into going by Eddie, but if the kids ask, Dustin convinced him. It’s been a month since that night in the trailer. Neither Steve or Eddie have told anyone they’re dating. Steve is still scared people are going to treat Eddie worse. He’s not worried about himself because he can take a beating. He doesn’t need his boyfriend to get hurt. His boyfriend. Even a month later he gets giddy when he refers to Eddie that way. It’s been difficult to keep it a secret, especially from Robin, but they’ve done well. He knows Robin won’t judge or tell anyone, but it’s nice having something for just them to share. They still get into petty arguments, mostly when they’re in big groups. No matter what, though, Steve always brings Eddie flowers the next day even if he wasn't in the wrong. This is his way of trying. Despite any arguments they get into, or looks they might get on the street, he’s trying. He loves Eddie. More than anything.
Steve gets to The Wheeler Household, and only sees Johnathan’s car, so Robin and the band mates aren’t here yet. He knocks on the door and Mrs. Wheeler answers. She gives Steve a greeting, pulling him into a short hug. She tells him Nancy and John are upstairs and sends him off to the basement. Immediately, he hears Eddie and Dustin arguing over stuff that makes zero sense to him. Eleven, Erica, and Max are sitting on the couch, whispering and gossiping as they typically do. Will and Mike are standing very close together, both looking nervous and happy. Steve’s convinced there’s something between the two of them. Lucas looks up from his spot on the ground between Max’s feet and smiles.
“Dustin, your mom is here!” Lucas yells. “What the hell? My mom shou—STEVE!” Dustin runs over and pulls Steve into a hug. He smiles and hugs him back. Dustin has always been his favorite child. He loves them all dearly, but Dustin has a special connection. When Dustin pulls away, Steve meets Eddie’s eyes.
“Stevie, you made it! Hope you’re ready for a night of Hellfire!”
“Oh, yes. I love watching…whatever it is you guys play.” Steve knows damn well what the name is, but he loves annoying Eddie. Always has, always will. Eddie rolls his eyes, muttering nonsense under his breath. The kids all run over and start chatting in the corner. He can hear the doorbell ring and Robin as she greets Mrs. Wheeler. Steve takes a step closer to Eddie. The older boy is leaning over a book full of words that might as well be Greek to Steve. He leans down to Eddie’s level and pretends to read along.
“How are you, my love?” Eddie asks, poking his pinkie out to brush against Steve’s hand.
“Much better now.” How he wishes he could kiss Eddie. Maybe he could. His thoughts are disrupted by Robin running down the stairs and tackling Steve.
“Steve! Guess what! Guess!”
“You’ve just knocked me over and possibly gave me a concussion?”
“Wrong! Vickie asked me out!” The room goes silent. Oh, shit. He fears for Robin because as far as he knows, she’s only out to him and Eddie. He gives her a look which she picks up on. She stands up, giving a hand to Steve, pulling him up.
“Right, yeah. Okay, kids! Uh, I like women. If you have a problem, leave.” No one moves. Eleven and Max give Robin a thumbs up, and the boys and Erica smile. Steve hugs Robin, telling her how happy he is for her. “I would be happier if you asked Eddie out.” she whispers in his ear. Of course she’s seen the way he looks at Eddie. Guess she hasn’t seen enough to put it together. He laughs dryly then replies, “Watch me.” Steve pulls away from Robin and yells out for Eddie.
“Eddie, darling.”
“Yes, my love?”
If the room was quiet during Robin’s announcement, this is what it must be like to be deaf. Nothing makes a sound. The wind doesn’t blow, Dustin doesn’t laugh, a pin doesn’t drop. If one did, the entirety of Hawkins would hear. Steve saunters to his lover. He’s got a cocky smirk on his face that drives Steve mad. Steve stands inches from Eddie’s face.
“I’m gonna have to ask you to kiss me, Eddie.” he whispers. Eddie’s eyes fill up with love as he grabs Steve by the waist and dips him, planting the sloppiest kiss on Steve’s mouth. They both laugh into the kiss so much they aren't even kissing anymore. They’re in a fit of giggles that makes them fall onto the ground. Eddie lands on top of Steve, burying his face into Steve’s honorary Hellfire Club shirt (Eddie might have asked Dustin to make a new one to give to Steve, but in reality it was a new one for himself. The honorary shirt is Eddie’s.).
“What just happened?” Johnathan asks as him and Nancy get to the bottom steps.
“Johnathan, Nancy. Didn’t see you there.” Steve replies, causing Eddie to burst into another fit of giggles.
“Are they high?” he hears Lucas ask. He hears a few maybes, but then Max laughs.
“I knew it! Eleven owes me twenty bucks!” she says, earning an eye roll from Eleven. Max fist pumps and runs over to the boys on the ground. “I bet Eleven twenty bucks that you two were together. You are almost as obvious as Mike and Will.” When she says that, the attention goes to the young boys.
“Shit, John give me twenty bucks.” This time, it’s Dustin talking.
“Wait, wait, wait” Steve begins from his spot on the floor. “Some of you bet on who was dating? Rather than asking us, you bet money on our relationships?”
Everyone nods.
“Well, shit.” he says. Everyone laughs. Everyone is happy. No one is hiding anymore.
~~~~
The night ends with Steve at Eddie’s trailer. Clothes are scattered haphazardly across Eddie’s room. He and Steve lie on the bed, tangled together and smoking a joint. Steve loves these nights. Just him and Eddie. They kiss every now and then, just to remind the other how much they love them.
“We did it, Eddie.”
“All we had to do was try, Steve.”
I think we could do it if we tried
If only to say you’re mine
Sofia, know that you and I
Shouldn't feel like a crime
Sofia
— Clairo