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Albedo could narrow down his likes to five things. The moon, autumn leaves, the feeling of serenity and charcoal.
One thing he disliked, was white.
When his world shifted axis, turbulence in the air, he could only watch in silence as the white consumed him.
Such a disaster of colour, and yet it holds every colour within it. There is no escape from such a thing. impartial.
Stifling heat is what Albedo associates with that one day, the day he found out he was sick. Not just a cold or flu. But a severe illness that would soon take his life. It didn't rain that day, and it seemed as if the sun would never set.
Time dragged on. He should have been thankful, one second, one moment, one breath further away from death. Able to push away from the constraints this illness had set on him. But eventually, the day did end and the moon which seemed to be hiding revealed itself.
"You don't have long left Albedo".
The moon seemed to shine even brighter than usual that night.
Now he sits in a lone hospital bed draped in a veil of claustrophobic white. It's a surprise the colour hasn't completely consumed him yet. He frowned, wistfully gazing toward the autumn leaves cascading outside of the window. Such beauty in dying leaves, a graceful crescendo to the ground.
Sighing, he grabbed his blanket to sink further under. Not particularly to escape the cold breeze. Rather, escape the loud noises that rung from outside his door. It'll be loud like that in here someday. Albedo grimaced in distaste, casting the thought out of his head.
A steady beep sounded from inside his room, a strangely comforting rhythm that before all this he would have probably disliked.
The room Albedo resides in, could be called nothing short of a cage. It reminded him of a story he once heard when he was young. A bird trapped in a birdcage that could only have true freedom through death. He's sure the room is supposed to be comforting rather than whatever sick and twisted ideas he has of it. A semblance of support as he lives however long he has left.
Any moment now.
He tries not to think of his growing mortality much, haunted by thoughts of what may come.
"Your heart will stop beating one-day Albedo".
He let his eyes drift to the walls, drawings stuck on haphazardly. Albedo never did mind them, not that he'd have the heart to tell Klee to take them down. At least they left some colour in here. Klee, his little sister, would often visit. She never did like it here. Her lips always trembling in such a way that Albedo could not bear.
You will come home soon won't you Albedo?".
He wishes that someday he could. Just how naive are you?
Albedo yearned to hold Klee in a hug, a reassurance to himself that she was still here, breathing and alive. But he would freeze around her, not knowing truly how to broach such a subject as physical contact.
Not that he deserves any warmth.
He'd most likely regret not hugging her more when he dies, leaving her with memories of her big brother that were cold and lacked emotion. Emotionally he doesn't have the energy to challenge himself.
How pathetic.
Solitude was the one thing he did not mind in this room, it consoled him like a freshly washed blanket. But he couldn't say the crippling loneliness didn't hit most of the time. Propelling so fast into the deepest depths of his mind.
But he was okay, he tried to be okay.
Not that waiting for an impending death every day was okay, but he guessed that everyone is bound to die someday, his was just coming sooner rather than later. It was a fact.
His fingers itched to draw.
To spill out all his repressed thoughts and feelings into a black whirlpool of charcoal. To scratch erratically at the page, knowing he'd eventually rip the drawing viciously in the resignment of hating everything he creates.
Worthless.
But his hands were trembling too much to even pick up a pencil. A shame. But his hands have been like this for so many weeks he can't even find the energy to muster disappointment. Would he have even found the energy to draw?".
"Mr Albedo!".
The student nurse that he would see every so often entered the room, clearly bound and full of energy. She brushed the edges of her shirt before adjusting her glasses with a smile.
Please don't talk to me, please don't talk to me, please don't-
"How are you today?" she mused. Eyes turning to look at the falling leaves outside, "ah" she hummed. "What a pretty view".
The view is more like torture, stuck to look but never truly seeing.
Albedo could almost flinch at the brightness coming from the nurse. Debating how rude it would seem to brush her comments off with a shrug.
"Ah, you know sucrose" Albedo frowned awkwardly "just the usual, awaiting my impending death". He could almost feel his insides shrivel up into a ball as he immediately regretted any words leaving his mouth.
Why did you speak? you shouldn't have spoken, you've embarrassed yourself again, why?
Sucrose let out a little 'eep' noise in response, fumbling with her hands with a downturned expression.
"Don't think of it as impending death, Mr Albedo. Each day you are still here, you are living".
Albedo turned to face away from the girl, guilt eating up inside him.
"Life is a precious gift, don't sink into depravity and waste the rest of it wondering what could have been".
Sucrose checked over his monitor, adding a few notes to his board. She hummed idly to herself. Allowing Albedo a chance to think her words over.
"Could I get you anything? a tea? maybe some coffee?". Albedo shrugged, not able to form any words if he did have any.
Why do you keep upsetting her?
He's afraid if he speaks again the light from Sucrose's eyes would fade even more. Being around him was like being next to a black hole, sucking up any good atmosphere until there's nothing left.
He didn't want Sucrose to feel like she was an inconvenience to his day, honestly, nothing could inconvenience him when he spent his days living like this.
"I'll leave you to it, Mr Albedo". Sucrose smiled, eyes glinting sympathetically.
Stupid self-proclaimed empaths.
The sympathy, the endless sympathy. The one thing Albedo could not stand other than the colour white. Not one person looks at him without that glint in their eyes. He'd much rather go back to the days when everyone ignored him. Better than getting attention for something uncontrollable.
Sucrose turned before she left as if about to speak, but no words came out. Her lips closed in resignation that anything she tried to say or do would not help.
Albedo was curious about what she was going to say, gears turning in his mind with endless possibilities. If he had more energy, perhaps if he was the person before all this he would ask. But he'll settle for empty answers in this empty room.
He settled back against his pillows once she had left. Alone again. He attempted to ignore the tremors of his hands and focus more on the rhythmic beat of the heart monitor.
Part of Albedo wondered why he even stayed here, dying at home sounded a lot more peaceful than whatever hell he was stuck in currently. But the people around him still had hope.
Hope, is the one key thing that keeps the world moving and yet always ends in disappointment. Albedo doesn't allow himself to get swept up in such things. Instead happier to watch others who still have it.
Giving in is selfish.
"Good morning!".
A voice sang from outside the room, followed by small giggles. Albedo attempted to hide a fond smile as they came in.
"Alice" he greeted, "Klee, good morning!". Albedo attempted to muster some energy into his voice, ensuring Klee could be happy even in such an atmosphere as a hospital. Not that she really understood this place.
Klee smiled bashfully at Albedo, holding some paper behind her back. Alice smoothed back Klee's hair with a grin. "She has a present for you, and I..." she grinned "have once again brought some tape".
Albedo nodded. Reliable as always, Alice. "You are going to get us into trouble one of these days with all the tape you put on the walls".
Alice laughed quietly "Well what can I say, I've always been a bit of a trouble maker, dare I say... a rebel".
Of course.
"Ah yes," Albedo coughed, hiding a wince "such a rebel".
Klee frowned in response to the cough, Albedo mentally kicking himself for allowing such weakness to show.
You can't let her know how much you are hurting, don't make her suffer too.
"Are you feeling okay Albedo?". She tilted her head curiously, a second later she perked up and rocked on the heels of her feet. "You know what will make you feel so much better?" She ran over to Albedo's bed "my drawing!".
Klee jumped up, scrambling to climb up onto the bed. "Be gentle!" Alice scolded as she grabbed a chair to sit alongside the pair.
Of course, Klee ignored the shouts, grabbing Albedo's tremoring hand in her own, clutching it tightly in both palms "all better, no more shakes!" she declared triumphantly. Albedo simply shook his head "I won't make any promises, now let me see that drawing".
Klee clambered rather rambunctiously onto Albedo's lap, resting against his chest. Albedo attempted to muffle the pain it was causing him.
Klee held the drawing in her hands, turning back to make sure Albedo was looking, "Look closely okay!".
"This is me" she pointed at the drawing, a short figure squiggled over in red. "Then there's you" Albedo was drawn holding her hand, a frown on his face. Albedo attempted to stifle a laugh "ah yes, very realistic". Klee nodded in agreement "and then here's mum!" she smiled.
Alice leaned over to look "yes you've captured me just perfectly". Klee smiled brightly, waving her finger over the picture's scenery "But look closer! we're all at home".
Please not again. Albedo grimaced.
Klee turned to face Albedo with a frown, handing the picture to Alice who stood up to tape it onto the wall. "When will you come home? I miss you". She whispered.
There was a brief pause, Albedo tried to ignore the bubbling anxiety in his gut.
"He'll be home as soon as he feels better" Alice walked over to ruffle Albedo's hair as if sensing his pain. "But right now" Alice held out her hand to Klee "we need to get you to school".
Klee pouted, hands balling into fists. "No".
Alice covered her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. "Every single morning you do this Klee, I'm not sure why you keep trying".
Alice grabbed Klee lifting her off of the bed. "Don't strain yourself while we're gone" Alice called to him as she left the room, Klee kicking and screaming as they left.
He couldn't say he didn't feel the empty void as they left the room, part of him wanting to scream and cry out for them to come back, in fear that this could be the last time he ever saw them.
But instead, Albedo curled into his blanket, able to rest after a way too hectic morning for his liking, eyes closing from fatigue. Instead of worrying about how little time he managed to be awake these days. He slept.
-
When Albedo's eyes opened again, all he could hear was shuffling. His eyes struggled to stay open still weighed down in the throws of sleep. Blearily he peered around the room, eyes resting upon the golden sun rays that streamed through the curtains. That could only mean it was already evening.
He must have slept through Klee and Alice's afternoon visit again. Another day was wasted inside this room. Not that he could have done anything even if he wanted to.
Before he could think anymore and drown in the guilt of most likely disappointing Klee, he was alerted to a person sitting in the corner of his room, draped in the veil of darkness. Eyes glued to their phone which was illuminating their face.
The man looked relaxed, which Albedo found strange considering he was in someone else's room.
"Who?" Albedo croaked out, throat rough and haggard.
Maybe he was just hallucinating, still stuck half asleep. Although, a random man in his room would probably be the last thing Albedo's brain could think to conjure up.
It's not the worst thing it could have conjured up either.
"Ah" the strange man jumped, blue hair fluttering wildly as he scrambled to stand, turning off his phone and placing it into his pocket. He brushed off the dirt on his knees, bouncing on each foot to regain some feeling in his feet from sitting on the floor for too long. Once he was done adjusting himself back to reality he looked over at Albedo with a smirk.
"And who do I have the pleasure of meeting on this fine afternoon?".
Albedo frowned, squinting his eyes in confusion. "Nobody". Albedo muttered, "why are you in my room?".
The man simply laughed, placing his hands in his pockets. "Technicalities, technicalities, the names Kaeya". He sauntered over, holding his hand out pointedly. "Nice to meet you, Mr nobody".
Albedo wasn't impressed with the loud personality "I can hit the emergency button here, get half the hospital running in thinking I finally kicked the bucket". He huffed. Avoiding to look straight at the man.
"Oh?" Kaeya frowned, seating himself politely in the chair next to Albedo's bed "but would you?".
"Maybe, maybe not" Albedo closed his eyes, "Do what you want, I couldn't care enough".
Kaeya curled himself into the chair. Albedo noticed this, wondering why the man would have such a loud personality but would do anything to make himself seem smaller.
"So I assume that's your way of telling me you care about me". Kaeya yawned, reaching into his pocket to check his phone.
"No" Albedo frowned "We met not even two minutes ago".
Kaeya sighed at something on his phone before placing it back into his pocket. "Well," the man placed his hand on his chin, "two minutes is all it took for me to know I like you, Mr Nobody".
"Can that chair carry your massive ego? I'm afraid it might break". Albedo stared at the ceiling.
"Oh, Mr Nobody, you sure are a barrel of laughs". Kaeya grimaced when his phone began to ring, and he promptly declined.
"Not going to answer?" Albedo questioned, "not important enough for you?".
"Yep!" Kaeya smiled, clearly faked. Not that Albedo would say anything, but it left an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.
"Shall we carry on our date?" Kaeya asked.
"Ah yes," Albedo crossed his arms, attempting to focus on holding back a cough "such is a place for romance".
Kaeya rested his hand on top of his chin "You didn't say no, nobody". Kaeya muttered slyly. inching closer towards Albedo.
In a normal situation, Albedo may be uncomfortable, but the strangeness of the situation left him unbothered. "And I didn't invite you into my room, and yet here we are".
Kaeya nodded, eyes twinkling in the bask of the setting sun "Don't you mean our room?".
Albedo shook his head "No, you're on the couch".
Kaeya stood with a splutter of protest "We've just had our first date you're already making me sleep on the couch?!".
Albedo attempted to hide the smile forming on his face "No need to delay the inevitable".
In a split second whatever semblance of harmony the two managed to create was broken. The door slammed open. Albedo winced at the sound.
"Hey, Albedo" The red-haired doctor called, out of breath "is there someone in your room? blue-haired" he held his hand up "about this tall...". He let out a huge groan at seeing his target.
Kaeya stood, a mischievous smile on his face, "ah, Diluc, fancy seeing you here in this part of town", he backed away against the open window". See ya around Mr nobody!".
He jumped out. Hitting the ground that was a short distance below with a thud.
Diluc ran to the window, doctor's coats blowing from the breeze. His eyebrow twitched in annoyance as he watched Kaeya run through the leaves in heaps on the grass. Kaeya turned back with a grin, waving at Albedo.
Albedo couldn't seem to stop himself from waving back, mesmerised at the scene in front of him.
"For the life of you, stop bothering my patients Kaeya" Diluc called out after Kaeya.
Diluc then turned at once, as if realising where he was, he adjusted his ponytail slightly "My deepest apologies Albedo, I'll make sure to it that that won't happen again".
Albedo shook his head mutely, waving diluc away, "it's never so bad to have some company". Will he come back?
--
Days seemed to go by in a blur, just as Albedo was starting to forget Kaeya and narrow the whole scenario down to a simple fever dream, there was a relentless knocking at his door.
Albedo shifted at this, blearily attempting to gain awareness of his surroundings. As for the time and date, perhaps he was better off not knowing.
He could feel the uncomfortable throbbing in his back, but lacked the care to relieve such an issue, simply deciding to turn his head in the opposite direction of the incessant knocking.
As if doing so would make the noise disappear entirely.
It certainly did disappear, for a split second. Before being replaced with words.
"Mr Nobody! your favourite visitor is back!" Kaeya called from outside the door, turning his head left and right to check that a certain red-headed man wasn't coming his way.
"it'd be kind of rude if I just so happened to waltz in without your permission" he laughed from outside, albedo sighing in response with a mere shake of his head. "But ..." The door slammed open "I did that the other day so I might as well do it again".
The man dusted off his trousers with his hands, stumbling over to sit in the chair next to albedos bed with heavy breaths. Kaeya turned his head to the side, facing albedo who was still lying down turned away.
"you okay there?" Albedo mumbled.
"peachy" Kaeya wheezed "too much running, not enough sleeping".
"And you've decided my room was the best place to go rather than your own bed why? " Albedo turned around, resting his hand on his chin.
"Oh you know, your bed seems comfy...".
"Well if I were staying at a hotel I'd give it a two-star rating, but for a hospital, I'd give it a four".
"So" Kaeya whispered, "If I were in it, it'd make it a five?".
"no, a three". Albedo deadpanned.
"hey!" Kaeya shouted before letting out a short wheeze.
Albedo laughed in response "Look at you being more out of shape than someone who's dying".
"you're dying?" Kaeya whispered.
"What do you think I'm in for? a sprained ankle?".
Kaeya spluttered "well how was I supposed to know what illness you have?"
"your awareness is awful, do you not see the sign right next to my bed?".
"well, I do" Kaeya tilted his head back to look at the ceiling "just never bothered to read it".
Albedo hummed "You should probably start reading signs, might help you out".
Kaeya laughed quietly "help me out with what? , pointing me to the exit?"
"yes actually, if you look right here" Albedo waved his hand in front of kaeyas face, flipping him off with a smirk " this sign right here means exit ".
"Guess I'll always need you around then to point me to the exit".
"guess you're stuck with me then, careful if you stay too long you might smell the delightful smell of rotting corpse".
"wow Mr nobody, how did you know my favourite scent?". Kaeya laughed quietly.
"guess I'm a mind reader, huh".
"Nah" Kaeya smiled tenderly " if you were truly a mind reader you would've been scared off by now".
"What goes on in that small little head of yours that could possibly make me of all people scared, what's there to be scared of other than impending death?" Albedo mused, slowly sitting up.
"you do make a good point, a weird one, but it's certainly a point." Kaeya replied, "But I have a question nobody, you ever going to tell me your name ?".
"Is that truly necessary?"
"Well, I can't keep calling you nobody can I, It's starting to feel rude".
Albedo huffed " since when did you care about if you were rude or not?".
Kaeya turned his head away, looking down at his feet "have I been rude?".
"Nah" Albedo shrugged "your company is nice, I don't see many people these days, nobody is quite the fitting name".
"You sound sad". Kaeya questioned.
Albedo smiled meekly "No one wants to die alone."
"Sounds to me like a challenge, nobody".
"Oh gods, stuck with you till the very end, I must be in hell already".
"Not yet" Kaeya laughed "but I'll do my best to take you there".
Albedo sighed, drowning in exhaustion.
"it's okay" Kaeya whispered, "you can sleep now".
Kaeya stood, waiting for Albedo's breaths to even out, reaching over to smooth his hands through Albedo's hair. And if Albedo happened to still be awake, he didn't say anything.
--
"Mr nobody!" Kaeya called out from behind the door.
"who's that brother?" Klee questioned with a start, running to answer the door.
"no, don't-" Albedo didn't get to finish his sentence before Kaeya sauntered into the room.
"well, well, well" Kaeya smiled "who's this little cutie".
In response Klee bundled her hands into fists "I'm not cute, don't call me that".
"alright little menace". Kaeya patted her head, Klee whining in response.
"Come to bother my little sister today Kaeya? I expect nothing less".
"brother" Klee puffed up her cheeks "he's annoying".
Albedo merely waved his hand "you'll have to take that up with his manager, but it takes three to five business days to get a response".
"I'll get a response right now" Klee shouted, balling her little hands into fists.
"now, now " Kaeya spluttered, "let's have a civilised conversation like adults".
Klee ran forward punching Kaeya, Kaeya fell to the floor, and Klee stood on top of him, laughing in victory.
"Good job she's not an adult then, huh Kaeya".
Kaeya groaned head still on the floor "your sister really is a menace, you two couldn't be any more different".
"But big brother loves me!" Klee grinned "he won't say it". She pouted.
Kaeya gasped dramatically, pulling Klee into a hug "how dare he". Klee giggled in his arms.
"The audacity of him! hey Mr nobody, tell her you love her right now".
"She already knows" Albedo muttered face turning red. "I don't need to say it".
Kaeya hummed "wouldn't hurt you to say it some time though".
"Does big brother not say it to you either?" Klee whispered, eyes wide.
Kaeya nodded, clutching at his heart dramatically "he hasn't yet, but I'll let you know when he does".
Klee giggled, scrambling out of Kaeya's arms, and running over to Albedo.
"What were you two whispering about over there?" Albedo asked, exasperated.
"Nothing much" Kaeya smirked, groaning as he stood from the floor.
"you're really unfit," Albedo said factually "you need this bed more than me?".
Kaeya huffed "Does the bed come with a short blonde man?".
"no."
"then no, I don't need it".
"Where are my loves?" a voice sang from behind the door. "I'm coming in!".
"Alice" Albedo facepalmed. Kaeya and Alice's meeting was a situation he had hoped to avoid, now he was in for his worst nightmare.
"Oh!" Alice smiled "and who is this fine young man I have the pleasure of meeting today?".
"The name is Kaeya" he reached out to shake her hand.
"ah, no need for formalities dear, a friend of Albedo is a friend of mine".
Albedo hid his face in his hands.
"Yes, Albedo, a dear friend of mine" Kaeya smiled brightly.
Alice leaned over to whisper to Kaeya "can I ask you this though, how did you two meet, it's just... Albedo isn't the most social of people".
"Alice" Albedo groaned, attempting to shield his sanity from the conversation in front of him.
"Albedo" Alice grinned in response, "how are you feeling today, can I get you anything?".
Albedo waved her off, sighing disproportionately at the fuss. He wishes she'd stop making such a fuss, it'd make things worse in the long run, even though he did love having her around.
Another knock at the door had albedo all but ready to use the rest of his strength to get out of the bed and leave.
"come in!" Alice called. Diluc entered the room, eyes narrowing when he met the sheepish face of Kaeya.
"Could I talk to Albedo and family in private?" muttered Diluc.
Kaeya nodded, mouth forming into a frown.
"No it's okay" Alice smiled, "he can stay".
"well really ma'am that choice is up to Albedo". Diluc spluttered.
"I don't care, he can do what he wants". Albedo huffed.
Diluc nodded, "Well, I just wanted to announce that Albedo has moved higher up the list for a heart transplant.
"that's great news!" Alice cheered, clutching Klees's hand in hers.
"But" Diluc sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Albedo's condition is only going to worsen from now on, so we need to be prepared for any eventuality".
Albedo tilted his head to look out at the sky, it's not that he's not prepared to die, more so that he'd rather not suffer more than he is right now.
"I need to know Albedo if you're prepared for us to do anything to extend your life, if we are to reach the end stages, or if you'd rather us help you be more comfortable".
Albedo sighed, shrugging his shoulders. God, he wished Klee and Alice weren't in the room right now.
"Could you try and make a decision by the end of the day, it's vital we get this information".
Alice frowned, hand still gripped in Klees. "Thank you, doctor".
Diluc began to walk to the door, before turning back " And Kaeya?, could I speak to you outside ".
Kaeya turned to follow, Albedo noticing the small tremble in his hands.
Alice heaved out a deep breath, placing her other hand on Albedos. Klee looked deep in thought. "Whatever decision you make, we will support it". She whispered, eyes searching Albedo's face.
Albedo nodded, not feeling very much interest in having a conversation.
"we're going to get going now, I'll see you later okay?". She held his hand tenderly, before lifting it up, Albedo could feel the warmth it left. "We love you" She pulled Klee into her side, going to leave the room "Don't forget that".
The door shutting closed leaving an ache of loneliness. He clutched at his heart, yearning desperately for answers. What did he do to deserve this? why did he have to make everyone around him suffer? and why, all of a sudden, did he want to live ?.
The irony is that just when he had wanted to leave this world, he now wanted to stay. But what could he do? other than suffering? he grieves for the life he could have had, and grieves for the future that is cut short.
If he let a tear slip out of his eye at that moment, he chose to ignore it. Simply lying down in his impending coffin. Perhaps he could be like a caterpillar and emerge from his cocoon more beautiful.
--
"Do you ever think about death?" Kaeya mumbled next to his bed one night.
"death?" albedo laughed "you're asking this to the dying man?".
"well". Kaeya wrapped his hands around his knees "what do you think happens? an afterlife?".
"nothing happens, when we die life will be cut short, left to rot in the ground".
"that's awfully pessimistic of you Albedo".
"Is it pessimistic though? the idea of being a ghost absolutely terrifies me. I'm alone as it is already, why would I need to stay on this earth longer and watch everyone around me grow old whilst I'm stuck just watching?".
"I think it'd be nice" Kaeya mumbled "Seeing everyone happy, sad, all the moments that make them human. I'd rather there be an afterlife though".
Albedo shifted, trying to still his trembling hands. "What's the point in being alive if there is an afterlife waiting for us? because I would end this all in a heartbeat if I knew there was a place where I wouldn't feel this suffering anymore".
"I think being alive is a gift " Kaeya whispered, "even though it is utterly horrible sometimes, at least I know that I'm alive. The thrill of only having this chance to make something of yourself, that's what keeps us going".
"Well, I've definitely waisted my chance" Albedo coughed "Not like it was my choice for my heart to give up on me, which was rather rude of it if I might add".
Kaeya smiled "very rude, but hey, it's still trying, means you're human".
"I don't feel very human, more like an act of science that is holding on for way longer than it should".
"good" Kaeya hummed "you keep holding on, defy any God that may exist, live purely out of spite".
"way ahead of you" Albedo tried to hide his smile.
"you know what I think we should do?" Kaeya stood mischievously.
"Oh god, what now ?" Albedo sighed.
"let's go on a little excursion".
"how?" Albedo drummed his fingers against his lap anxiously "I can't leave this bed".
"I'll carry you" Kaeya smiled.
"I won't last a second outside, it's winter".
"guess I'll have to wrap you up warm too ".
"you're going to get me into trouble aren't you Kaeya?". Albedo smiled.
"of course" he hummed "would you expect your night in shining armour to do any less?".
Kaeya wrapped Albedo in the blanket, Albedo turned his head away flustered. " Now, Albedo " Kaeya picked him up "your chariot awaits".
Kaeya held him gently as they walked up the stairs towards the roof. Albedo squinting his eyes at the bright lights on the ceiling. He had almost forgotten what it looked like outside of the small room he was confined to every day.
They reached the rooftop, Kaeya haphazardly juggling opening the door with holding Albedo.
Albedo let out a small laugh, Kaeya huffing in response " is this funny to you?".
"a little bit".
"You know I could drop you right?".
"You wouldn't dare" Albedo smirked.
"No, I wouldn't". Kaeya opened the doors "It would be funny though".
Albedo let out a small wheeze as he allowed the fresh cold air to fill his lungs "it's nice up here".
"sure is" Kaeya whispered, sitting them down on a bench. Albedo wrapped up warm in his arms.
"you know I can sit next to you now?" Albedo muttered, feeling embarrassed.
Kaeya hummed "gotta keep you warm".
Albedo's eyes crinkled as he looked over at the city, buildings sparkling in the distance. He looked at the traffic below. So many people in this world, and yet at this moment it felt like it was just him and Kaeya. Just them two against the world.
"Your hands are shaking again". Albedo whispered.
Kaeya jumped slightly "sorry, was just thinking about things".
"go on" Albedo hummed "what's going on in that head of yours?".
"ah, nothing important".
Albedo huffed "go on, spill your feelings out to the dying man, I won't be around long enough to wallow in your embarrassment".
Kaeya looked at the sky, eyes mapping out each star, each plane, and then resting on the moon.
"I never had a good childhood" he mumbled.
Albedo hummed, in a request for him to continue.
"it's just, I try to forget things, but they're always there".
Albedo nodded "yeah memory isn't a nice thing sometimes, even with the good there's something bad that follows".
"I know that sometimes I can be loud and annoying, probably a bit overzealous. But I never got the chance to be myself as a kid, and I just try, try so hard to live as myself now. Rather than the small, frightened child, I used to be".
"You know though Kaeya" Albedo whispered, fighting the chill "Even when you were that small frightened child, you were still in there".
"I'm scared" Kaeya whispered, "that I'm still that child, and I'm never going to grow up".
"growing up is overrated" Albedo sighed "What even is growing up anyway? we're all still the kids we used to be at heart. Every day I wish, so much, that I could go back, back when times were simpler. And god I didn't have a good childhood either but I think to myself at least I was oblivious then".
Kaeya nodded "I used to think it was normal for parents to fight every day, to hurt each other and to hurt me. Now that I know it wasn't normal, I feel worse".
"I understand" Albedo grimaced "it kind of sucks, you're doing your best though, remember that, try not to get lost in your head so much, I prefer you a lot better when your here". He fumbled with his hands "no that I dislike it when your quiet, it's just ... not you".
"Can I tell you something Albedo?" Kaeya frowned.
"yeah".
"I'm really glad I met you, thank you".
They sat in comforting silence. The sun is long being set. Kaeya curled tighter around Albedo to fight off the cold.
"shall we head in, Albedo?".
Albedo didn't respond.
"Albedo?". Kaeya tapped at his face, which was much lighter than it was a few hours previous, "Albedo?".
He wasn't waking up.
"Oh god, Albedo please, not like this, not right now".
Kaeya stood, holding him tightly in his arms and running, he ran as fast as his body could cope, heart racing. "Don't give up Albedo, don't give up".
He wheezed out a breath, "Diluc" he cried "please come here". He sank to his knees on the ground "somebody".
He layed albedo down, placing his jacket under Albedo's neck. He felt for a pulse and breathed out in relief when he felt one, slow and small, but it was there.
"Diluc" he called again. Placing his hands on the side of Albedo's face "You're so cold" he whispered. "Somebody! please!" he yelled out again.
What felt like an eternity later Diluc came running down the corridor "Kaeya are you okay ? what's...". Diluc stopped, pressing his radio "we have an emergency, outside room 107, code red".
"please" Kaeya whispered, "save him". Diluc gritted his teeth, "Kaeya I need you to step away from Albedo".
"No" he yelled, " you can't just make me leave him".
"So tell me then" Diluc scoffed "why the hell he was out of his room in the first place".
"I wanted to give him some freedom". Kaeya whispered, his stomach in knots as the gravity of the situation was hitting him.
"So once again you were trying to live vicariously through someone else, and now you're facing the repercussions". Diluc ran his hand through his hair in frustration, letting out a breath at the flurry of doctors and nurses that arrived.
Diluc watched as they put Albedo onto a bed. Kaeya was no longer moving from where he sat on the floor. hands over his ears as if to block out any noise.
When the crowd left Diluc kneeled next to Kaeya "You can't keep doing this, living in a dreamland".
"You don't understand" Kaeya yelled out, teeth grit in pain "I'm NOT doing this for myself, none of this, he wanted to leave that room, he wanted peace, quiet, a SECOND where he wasn't in this reality anymore".
Diluc sighed "You should've known better, I taught you better".
"If you think for even a moment that this was me being in a fantasy, then fuck you Diluc, fuck your dreamlands, and fuck everything you stand for, you keep me here like a caged bird".
"All I've been doing is keeping you alive" Diluc stood, turning to face away from Kaeya "Your parents told me to do whatever I can to keep you safe from yourself, do you know just how exhausting that's been".
"My parents? the ones that fucked me up in the first place, you live in a kingdom of naivety, sit proudly on your throne, the rest of us weep". Kaeya buried his hands in his face.
"What do you want me to do then Kaeya? let you keep hurting yourself?".
"If I'm such an inconvenience to you then why not let me die Diluc?".
"Because I'm a doctor Kaeya". Diluc said as he walked away.
"So that's all this is?" Kaeya whispered to himself "I thought you were my friend".
Diluc didn't hear.
--
"Do you believe in the wind?" A voice called out, childish in nature.
Albedo opened his eyes in confusion as he looked out at the white void surrounding him. He turned attempting to find the voice but to no avail.
He felt light for the first time in a long time, he could almost bathe in the feeling of it.
"The wind, does it call to you?".
Albedo furrowed his eyebrows in confusion "I don't think so".
"Your not yet free" The voice called again "when you're ready meet me at the tree".
"wait" Albedo called, "who are you?".
The voice let out a slight giggle, "stay low little bird, I'll see you when you fly".
"Albedo-" Albedo turned in confusion hearing another voice "Sir can you hear us?".
He was thrust back into darkness.
--
Kaeya sat in the corner of Albedo's room, reminiscing about their first meeting which was not all that long ago.
If he hadn't run away from Diluc that day perhaps he would have spared Albedo such ailments. Not that he was the cause of Albedo's failing heart, but part of him felt like a cataclysm.
Maybe that was his whole existence, here to spread the darkness.
He trembled as the door opened, prepared for some sort of repercussions. He wondered what punishment he'd get this time.
I don't want to hurt anymore, please don't hurt me.
"Where's-" Alice questioned, voice drifting away at the empty bed.
"Huh" Klee spoke aloud "Did Albedo go out?" she giggled slightly "that's funny, he never goes out, I wonder what he's doing".
Alice's eyes moved around the room frantically, eyes resting on Kaeya.
"He's alive" was all Kaeya managed to get out, before shutting his eyes and leaning against the wall.
Klee ran over, kneeling in front of Kaeya "Kaeya!" she called out with a smile, "where did my brother go?".
Alice walked over, breaths heavy "I think it might be best to go home for today Klee".
Klee huffed angrily, moving to sit next to Kaeya, "are you tired?" she whispered, "you can sleep if you want".
Alice tried to speak to Klee again, getting cut off.
"You look sad, Albedo would be sad if you are sad, please don't make my brother sad".
Kaeya tilted his head up to the ceiling, blinking away his sadness.
"There's no use wallowing in misery Kaeya" Alice spoke at once, "he's alive, maybe in a worse condition than before, I can only assume that's why he's not here" she sat crossed-legged in front of him. "But he's alive".
Kaeya didn't speak, in fear that she would find out that it was all his fault, that she might reject him for his stupidity as everyone else has.
"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked quietly, eyes drifting to Klee who had wrapped her arms around Kaeya's arm in a hug.
"I took him up to the roof". That is all Kaeya said, flinching into himself as if preparing for violence.
Alice hummed "was the view nice?".
"It was".
Alice let out a small laugh "he must have been happy".
Kaeya nodded again.
"He sure does have an inkling for pretty things that boy of mine". Alice mused in her thoughts "you blame yourself". She smiled kindly "you and Albedo couldn't be any more different and yet you hold such similarities".
Kaeya looked at Alice in confusion. Not daring to speak.
"Don't look so scared, all I want is for him to find joy, you couldn't have predicted this would happen".
"I'm sorry" Kaeya whispered. biting his lip to not let any emotion show. but failing tremendously.
Alice pulled him into her arms "I think what you need most is a hug, you deserve more than you let yourself have Kaeya".
Kaeya sobbed.
--
The gravity of surviving hit Albedo like a truck, he wasn't sure if he should be thankful, continue to muse at what may have been the end or attempt to stand up and do something with this artificial extension.
"Welcome back," Diluc spoke. Albedo tried to pull at the breathing mask on his face, throat rough and haggard, itching for a drop of water.
"Don't strain yourself" Diluc said as he opened the curtains on Albedo's window "You spent some time in the ICU but you've made enough progress to be moved back to your room".
Albedo turned to look, eyes watering at the brightness, it must be around mid-day. The tree outside his window looked more beautiful than ever, so large and full of life, blowing slightly in the breeze. But he couldn't help but notice the lack of leaves.
"You were out for quite some time, your body fought hard. It's almost December now, Christmas is coming up".
Albedo could almost mourn the loss of time.
"You're very lucky Albedo, with enough luck you might recover to how you were before that incident".
Ah, joy. Albedo thought to himself.
"For now just relax, we're doing everything we can for you, still" Diluc paused "what made you change your mind? you were set on not allowing us to resuscitate you".
The door opened quietly, Albedo peered as Kaeya entered the room, if he could smile with his eyes, he must have done it then.
Albedo simply pointed at Kaeya.
Diluc nodded at once, huffing slightly to himself as he left the room.
"Diluc" Kaeya called after him "I'm not going to apologise for coming here".
Diluc turned with a pause "I don't expect you to". before leaving once again.
"Look who's returned from their long sleep" Kaeya smiled "back from the dead, the un-killable, the immortal, Mr nobody".
That's me. Albedo said in his head, unable to speak out loud.
Kaeya sat next to Albedo, pausing in thought before speaking "we didn't know each other long before you went to sleep, and yet it felt like an eternity, it's strange" he said out loud "to have such a connection with somebody".
Albedo raised his hand.
"Ah, I'm sorry, I forgot you can't speak right now" Kaeya frowned. "Am I okay to keep speaking?".
Albedo waved him off, silently laughing at the awkwardness of the situation.
"Okay, good" Kaeya scratched the back of his neck "Suddenly I'm not so sure what to say".
Albedo peered at him.
"You're giving 'just be quiet then' vibes". Kaeya laughed.
Albedo nodded. grimacing at moving his sore muscles.
"You know" Kaeya huffed "I missed you". He turned in the chair, inching his hand close but pausing and moving it away in fear.
This was noticed by Albedo who turned his face to the window and turned his hand over in invitation.
Stifling the awkwardness away, Kaeya timidly placed his hand over Albedo's, moving to intertwine their fingers. Albedo clutched his hand back.
"To be honest" Kaeya whispered, "I held your hand every time I was allowed to visit you, but it feels a lot different doing it while your awake, it feels nice, for you to hold my hand back".
Albedo turned to stare at their intertwined hands, holding himself in the comfort of another presence, he didn't think he deserved such adoration. Wondered what the other man could see in him to be so doting.
But, if he could maybe stay in a moment such as this for the rest of eternity he would be happy. To never feel alone, or afraid, to know that he had someone by his side. Something that goes beyond a simple love affair.
"I know you can't speak right now" Kaeya mumbled, smoothing his thumb along Albedo's hand "But I can't say I don't miss your voice".
Albedo simply smiled the best he could, attempting to convey his feelings at that moment.
"I'm surprised you're not sick of my voice, I did my best to keep you updated on things while you slept, you probably heard none of it, but it gave me some comfort knowing that you wouldn't be scared if you heard me". Kaeya looked at his feet, a constant habit of his.
"Maybe that's a little egotistical to think, but you told me you didn't want to be alone, and I did my best to make sure of it" he paused to gather his thoughts "I may have fallen a little in love with you along the way".
Albedo thought these words over, timid in the thought he would never love someone, and that someone would never love him.
"I know what I've gotten myself into, I know that you might not have long, but I want to be with you, by your side, until whatever may come".
Kaeya looked at Albedo with a serious gaze, a gaze more serious than he would have expected from the man.
"So, I'm going to try my best, to stay" he whispered "and this might be selfish of me to ask, but I want you to try your best too".
Albedo clutched Kaeya's hand tighter.
"And maybe" Kaeya laughed slightly "let's pretend I didn't just become a sappy ball of mush, I have appearances to keep up you know".
--
It was almost Christmas when Alice made the suggestion, to get permission to go home for a few days. To enjoy the holidays away from the confines of these harsh white walls.
Albedo could almost see the fear on Kaeya's face when she spoke those words, it wasn't surprising, not with how going out last left him. But he supposed risks were something that just had to be taken in a situation such as this.
Kaeya could feel his heart race, the vulnerability being something he tried not to show on his face. Maybe the idea of spending Christmas alone was worse than the fear. He couldn't allow himself to feel sad, this was for Albedo. Not him.
Alice smiled, obvious to the situation in front of her. "Now I won't tell Klee, for fear of disappointing her, but I'll be having words with your doctor today".
"Okay" Albedo spoke timidly, watching Alice leave the room. Leaving just him and Kaeya.
The two sat in thoughtful silence.
"I don't want to worry you, with all this" Albedo whispered turning to the window.
"You going out shouldn't make me afraid, I'm not bothered, you should still be trying to live your life".
"And yet your hands are trembling again Kaeya".
Kaeya looked down, willing it to stop.
"Listen, I can't promise you I'll come back in one piece, or even alive, but this is something I need, to give one good last memory to Klee before I turn to dust forever".
"These are the things you should be doing for yourself, you agreed not to give up".
"I haven't given up, I'm just exhausted".
"You don't give enough care to your own self Albedo".
"You sure are a hypocrite sometimes". Albedo mumbled, not meaning to cast the thought aloud.
"This isn't about me" Kaeya trailed off.
"Does a promise we made together not include the both of us?".
"I made that promise for you".
"Then you're not holding up on your side".
Kaeya shrunk into himself "I'm sorry you think that".
"There's no point apologising, if you don't want to keep up with the promise then it's as good as gone".
"You can't do that Albedo".
"Can I not be selfish for once in my life?"
"You were doing so well, you're getting better, why are you suddenly acting like this?"
"You of all people should know how hard it is to fight against your own dark thoughts".
"But you can't take it out on me".
"I'm not, you're misreading the conversation".
"Have a good Christmas Albedo".
"Kaeya wait-"
Kaeya left the room without turning back.
When Alice walked back into the room he attempted to stifle his emotions.
"So!" Alice laughed with a grin, "we're set to go home for Christmas".
Albedo nodded "that's great", yet his voice sounded a little defeated.
"We have one condition though, your doctor will have to accompany us".
Albedo could feel his fingers turn to ice. One thing he always kept dear to him was that his home was separate from everything in this empty place. Home was warm and safe, this was going to ruin his memories.
"And" Alice smiled beamingly "because he's been assigned to watch over someone he's going to have to bring them too".
Albedo sunk further into the covers of his bed in defeat.
"Don't give me that look" Alice walked over to ruffle his hair "we know him already".
"crap". Albedo whispered.
--
"wow," Albedo whispered to himself as he watched the snowflakes cascade from the sky, resting on the pavement like a blanket.
Alice smiled as she pushed the wheelchair "come, let's get inside fast before the snow picks up".
Diluc walked alongside them with a stern frown, followed by an unnaturally quiet Kaeya.
"Come on boys!" Alice laughed. Klee turned around to face them with a grin "unless..." she giggled "You want a snowball fight!".
Diluc spluttered, waving his hands in the air awkwardly "ah, no" he smiled, "Let's get warm".
"You both are no fun" Klee sighed.
"I'm sure we can have a snowball fight another time" Kaeya smiled at a pouting Klee. "Come" he offered, holding his hand out for her, to which she took.
--
"listen" Kaeya whispered, sitting next to albedo at the kitchen table, hot chocolate resting between his hands.
"I don't-"
"please" Kaeya pleaded, blowing softly against the steam.
"five minutes" Albedo sighed, hands bunched into the blanket resting on his lap.
"I'm sorry" Kaeya trembled, "I was just scared".
"I know". Albedo frowned, looking over at the man who now seemed to sink so inwards on themselves. Albedo could almost feel guilty.
"I can't lose you, and I know it's selfish of me to need you so much. But over these months, since I met you. I just can't get you out of my head. You're there so much it hurts. Every living breathing moment I spend is thinking about you".
Albedo's heart raced, panic in his mind at being needed so much. But also panic of his ever-growing sense of mortality. "I won't be around forever".
"I know" Kaeya closed his eyes, tilting his head back. "But forever will be for as long as you're around, so just..." he breathed, slightly trembling. "Whatever your forever is, let me spend it with you".
"You need to be prepared" Albedo mused in his thoughts, "for me to not be here anymore".
"Okay," Kaeya murmured, "But don't you dare start to distance yourself from me for the sake of hurting me less. It has the opposite effect".
"Alright," Albedo nodded, reaching his hand out to pull Kaeya's head straight "you'll strain your neck like that".
Kaeya's eyes fluttered open, face close to Albedo's. They looked at each other flustered.
"Big brothers!" Klee called, as she darted into the kitchen. "Mum wants to watch a movie!".
The two jumped away from each other. Klee giggled slightly, rocking on the balls of her feet, "I'm not sure what movie to watch but you can pick Albedo!".
--
"Just hear me out". Kaeya smiled "You, me, the great outdoors, no distractions".
"Ah yes", Albedo lay curled up on the sofa, feet resting on Kaeya's lap "Because that went so well last time".
"Wasn't you the one going on a whole speel about taking risks?" Kaeya sighed.
"You got me there".
"Listen, I can convince Alice, and she will convince Diluc".
Albedo smiled timidly "If somehow" he waved his hand in the air "magically, you convince Diluc to let us out unsupervised, then I guess I wouldn't be one to say no".
--
"I have to say I'm rather surprised you agreed to this nobody".
"Well," Albedo replied, "I don't really have the time to be saying no".
"Still" Kaeya smiled "I'm glad". He ruffled Albedo's hair "I'm glad you said yes".
Albedo didn't respond, turning his head away in an attempt to hide the heat resting upon his cheeks.
"But just to clarify" Kaeya stopped pushing the wheelchair as they got to the gate of the amusement park, "can we call this a date?".
The bright lights from the park were stifling, shining down on the pair as they walked towards the gate.
Albedo let out a small sigh, rubbing his gloved hands against his cheeks to warm them up against the winter air.
"your silence is worrying me". Kaeya mumbled, more to himself than Albedo, anxious that his words may have already messed things up once again.
"Just thinking" Albedo breathed out, watching his breath dissipate into cold icicles in the air.
"Okay," Kaeya whispered, "we'll go sit down for a second".
"I'm already sitting".
"That you are" Kaeya chuckled quietly.
Kaeya moved Albedo's chair next to the bench before sitting down himself. Kaeya smiled timidly at Albedo, before gazing up to the sky.
"It might snow soon," he said.
"Hopefully not too hard" Albedo supplied in answer.
"really? I love snowstorms" Kaeya rubbed his hands together, attempting to fight the anxiety resting deep down.
"why?".
"Because they're beautiful" he breathed "like you".
"oh," Albedo frowned.
"Listen," Kaeya said suddenly "If you don't want this" he stumbled over his words "us, to be anything more, then that's fine". He reached up to free his neck from his scarf "I just really care about you, and I don't want to lose you from this".
"Kaeya" Albedo tried to cut him off.
"Just know that I'll always be waiting for you and that I've never really felt this way about anyone before". Kaeya smiled to himself, "I'm sorry If me saying all this is making you feel awkward, but I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't say it.
"Kaeya-".
"Just please don't leave me alone, I don't think I could handle it".
"hey," Albedo whispered.
"yeah?" Kaeya replied.
"This is a date".
"You're not just saying that because of me are you?".
"Don't be such an idiot", Albedo weakly slapped Kaeya's' shoulder "Come on, I'm hungry".
"I'm still surprised Diluc allowed you to come here with me alone".
Kaeya laughed slyly, standing up to push Albedo's chair closer to the entrance of the park, "well...".
"oh my god," Albedo facepalmed, "you're going to be in so much trouble, I thought you'd get Alice to convince him?"
"Oi," Kaeya giggled to himself "I'm a grown man, I don't need another grown man to watch on me like I'm some prepubescent child".
"You never did tell me," Albedo said slowly "why he always has to watch over you".
"ah" Kaeya frowned, "I may have forgotten to mention that".
"Well," Albedo replied, "will you tell me now?".
"All in due time my liege" Kaeya laughed as he pushed Albedo's chair in a half run, avoiding the subject entirely.
"Not so fast!" Albedo yelled, his voice fading as they entered the park, noise overtaking them.
"What do you want to eat?" Kaeya asked as they passed a variety of food stalls.
"Could you get me some soup?" Albedo smiled "I'm not sure if I could stomach much else".
"Are you feeling okay?" Worriedly Kaeya turned, wrapping his scarf tighter around Albedo's neck, Albedo sunk into its comfort.
"Smells like you".
"That's embarrassing".
"Just a little".
"I'll find you some soup".
--
"Ah, there's stairs". Albedo frowned.
"I have one mission and one mission only".
"And what would that be?".
"To get us on that Ferris wheel".
"oh?" Albedo questioned, "how romantic of you".
Kaeya lifted Albedo from his wheelchair "Fuck it".
"huh?!".
"Trust me" Kaeya laughed.
"My wheelchair?"
"Fuck the wheelchair".
Kaeya ran with Albedo in his arms.
"Don't drop me!".
"As if I would drop you!". Kaeya smiled tenderly.
"You're a little unhinged tonight Kaeya".
"Am I not always a little unhinged?"
"well..."
"well..." Kaeya laughed "that's what I thought".
Kaeya paused, trying to regain his breath as he paid to get on the wheel. Ignoring the odd looks the crowd was giving them.
He sat Albedo next to him, watching quietly as the staff came to lock them into their seats.
"Normally I'd feel quite claustrophobic" Albedo started, "but it's not so bad next to you".
"that's good" Kaeya whispered, "I'm glad".
The ride began to move, stopping once again to let people on. As it stopped the chair swung a little causing the pair to grab onto each other.
"Didn't take you as someone to be scared of rides". Albedo muttered.
"Hey!" Kaeya called "you got scared too".
"These things are literal metal death traps".
"And yet you came on here with me?".
"I did" Albedo whispered, looking at Kaeya out of the corner of his eye. Kaeya's eyes seemed to sparkle so magically.
The wheel continued turning.
"Up here it's as if I can truly breathe". Kaeya said suddenly, "No thoughts, no anxiety, just staring down at the people below us".
"It is nice" Albedo replied, "just to be".
"It's even nicer to share this with you".
"Thank you" Albedo grabbed the side of Kaeya's face. Kaeya placed his hand against Albedo's, looking Albedo in the eye.
Kaeya scanned Albedo's face with his eyes, smoothing his thumb against Albedo's hand. "When we're together" Kaeya whispered, "I feel like I can deal with anything".
Albedo smiled, inching closer to Kaeya, "I think that" he blushed slightly "that I really like you".
"I like you too" Kaeya moved closer in turn, their foreheads bumping together, noses touching.
"Is it okay if I?" Albedo gasped out.
Kaeya hummed in response.
Their lips met with a burst of electricity.
Albedo was the first to pull away, moving to bury his head against Kaeya's shoulder.
Kaeya stroked his hand through Albedo's hair, "was It okay?".
Albedo nodded into him.
"Hey" Kaeya whispered, "you're missing the view".
"Oh," Albedo muttered, looking up as they reached the very top.
"We're on top of the world!" Kaeya yelled.
Albedo laughed in embarrassment, hiding in the scarf around his neck.
"I just kissed this hot piece of ass!" Kaeya yelled again, raising his hands towards the sky.
"Oh god," Albedo giggled "do you have to be so embarrassing".
Kaeya put his arms down with a smile "I feel alive".
"Is this what people say living feels like?" Albedo questioned.
"If being with you is living, then I hope from now on I live every day".
"I hope you do too Kaeya" Albedo smiled. "I really hope you do".
"Hey look, it's snowing".
Albedo leant into Kaeya's side as the ride came to a stop.
Kaeya went to help Albedo up, but Albedo waved him off, "for once" he smiled, "I want to stand for myself".
With a struggle Albedo stood, legs trembling from being out of use. Kaeya held both of Albedo's hands, helping him to walk off the ride.
Each step felt so small but so big at the same time. And he couldn't help but let a tear slip from his eye.
Kaeya's face softened "you're not in pain are you?".
"A little" Albedo breathed "But I can do this".
"you can" Kaeya encouraged "you're already doing it".
"I'm walking Kaeya".
"You're walking, look at you go".
"I'm doing it".
"I know, I'm looking".
"I'm really doing it".
"I really want to kiss you right now," Kaeya said so full of adoration.
"Then do it" Albedo smiled.
"You don't have to tell me twice".
They kissed again.
"I'm so proud of you".
--
"Don't try to stay awake" Kaeya whispered, carrying Albedo on his back.
"But you wanted to see the fireworks" Albedo muttered into his shoulder, the sound coming out muffled.
"I don't need to see them when I have you right here, my little firecracker". Kaeya laughed.
"never say that again", Albedo yawned "It's embarrassing".
"You're embarrassing".
"That literally makes no sense".
"Go to sleep Albedo".
"No, you", he drifted off to sleep immediately after.
--
Albedo blinked his eyes open, confused as to why he awoke outside.
There was an odd boy sitting under the big oak tree, wrapped in a small green blanket that clearly did not keep out the cold.
Albedo attempted to keep to himself, huffing in exhaustion as he pushed the wheels of his wheelchair. Frowning when his chair struggled to move along the grass.
The boy waved at albedo, a huge grin resting on his face, green eyes peering at him with curiosity.
Albedo thought it'd be rude not to wave back, not that he particularly felt like he owed this boy anything.
The boy stood, resting his hand against the tree as he helped himself off of the ground. His blanket stood out against the browns of the tree trunk, wrapped around himself as if a cape.
"The spirits are loud out here" the boy smiled slightly. Albedo looked up towards the top of the huge tree, "is that a good thing?" Albedo merely whispered.
"I'd like to think so" The boy placed his hands against his chest "It makes me think that maybe the end isn't so lonely". Albedo nodded in agreement "the wind speaks to me" the boy grimaced "I haven't got long left here, but I think I'd rather join the wind in freedom than suffer in this body any longer".
"Was it hard?" Albedo grasped his hands together, eyes closing to avoid the harsh rays of sun hitting his eyes "to accept what's coming".
The boy grinned once again "I accept freedom, and that whatever form I may be in at the end of everything, I won't be alone".
Albedo nodded once again "I see".
"There's no reason to be afraid anymore, don't fight it". The boy in green whispered. "You'll come with me to the other side won't you?".
"I'll join you once it's time" Albedo smiled slightly.
"My name is Venti" The boy giggled lightly. Rocking on the balls of his feet, a gust of wind blew past his face.
"I'm Albedo" Albedo opened his eyes "I'll see you when I get there".
"I'm looking forward to it Albedo".
One second the boy was there, and the next it seemed as if he had drifted into the wind. Albedo rubbed his eyes in confusion.
--
"Things are getting confusing" Albedo confessed on Christmas morning, mind swirling with thoughts of the boy under the big tree.
"What do you mean by that?" Diluc knelt in front of him, testing his blood pressure.
"Time, everything, it's all so... spaced out".
Alice paced behind him, "I told you Diluc, sometimes he's just not there anymore".
Diluc sighed, "it's to be expected".
Albedo blinked, hunching in on himself "Will I just, be like this forever now?".
"we'll do our best to make you comfortable".
Alice sobbed.
--
"Albedo?"
"yes?"
"I love you".
"who?".
"Kaeya" he held Albedo's hand "it's Kaeya, I'm right here".
"oh".
--
"Big brother" Klee sniffled, sitting next to Albedo on his bed, "You don't look well".
"Sorry" Albedo whispered, blinking confused around the room.
"s'not your fault".
--
"Are we at home?" Albedo questioned.
"No my love, we came back to the hospital after Christmas remember".
"Sorry Alice".
--
"Charcoal".
"What?" Kaeya questioned.
"Where's my charcoal?"
"You haven't used it for a long time".
"Why?"
"It's hard for you".
"That's a shame I wish I could draw you".
"You want to draw me?" Kaeya smiled, holding albedo's hands in his.
"Don't want to forget you that's all".
"You won't forget me, I promise".
--
"Kaeya!" Albedo called panicked, feverishly blinking around the room, he wasn't sure what time or date it was, but he felt scared.
"Hey, hey" Kaeya ran over, "It's okay, I was just in the bathroom for a second".
"It hurts to keep my eyes open". Albedo sniffled.
"No, no, don't strain yourself".
"But I don't want to stop looking at you in case-".
"Don't be silly" Kaeya placed his hand over Albedo's heart "I'm here, I'll always be right here".
--
"I don't think I want to die anymore" Albedo whispered, vulnerable.
"that's okay" Kaeya whispered back.
"I don't have a choice do I?"
"Don't give up yet, there's still time".
--
"You're my boy Albedo, you're my boy".
"I know".
"Good, I just needed you to know that".
"Thank you, Alice, for everything".
"Just doing my job". She cried into his chest.
--
"Now listen big brother I'm giving you dodoco, I need you to take good care of him".
Albedo clutched the toy tightly in his hands.
"This way he can protect you when I'm not here".
--
"Albedo" Kaeya whispered into the cold and seemingly empty room, "I know I said I'd spend forever with you, but this is getting hard".
He grabbed Albedo's hands in his, the boy didn't even seem to notice he was there, "Forgive me for this". He sobbed. "But I need to meet you on the other side, I want you to hold my hand back once more".
Albedo shifted slightly but made no signs of awareness.
"It's like I've already lost you, and I just can't comprehend how quickly you spiralled, and God I know it wasn't your fault, and I'm not blaming my shitty mental state on you in the slightest, because you are my everything, but we both know you're not going to get better anymore".
He sank to his knees on the floor next to the bed, the gravity of the situation hitting him like a truck, his stomach in knots, chest-beating fast with a sick sort of adrenaline. He rested his head on the cool frame, "Today I'm going to" he could almost throw up.
"Just know, I love you so fucking much Albedo, please just, thank you so much, I can't thank you enough. You let a little light into the darkness". He put his palm over his mouth to muffle his sobs "And I can't wait, I'm so fucking excited to see you when you get there, and maybe we'll be born into a life where we aren't destined to have such cursed fates".
He stood on trembling legs to curl next to Albedo, "You know this is kind of scary" he spoke right next to Albedo's ear, in the hopes the boy would hear him "Even though I'm next to you this feels weirdly a lot like dying alone, and I think I'd do everything right now just to hear you speak to me again".
"I'm sorry to everyone" Kaeya sobbed, "For being so useless all my life, for burdening everyone with my problems. For the fact, I could never be loveable enough to my parents, that Diluc spends every day chasing after me when he has more important things to do. That I couldn't save you".
Kaeya placed his chest against Albedo's heart, smiling slightly as he shivered " Your heart is still beating " Kaeya moved his hand to feel his own pulse "and mine is slowing down".
He trembled rapidly "I'm scared, but I think it's too late now". His breath was coming out slow, and it was a struggle to get the words out. "I was never good enough was I? Why wasn't I good enough? for anyone?".
"Who?" Albedo whispered.
"It's Kaeya". Kaeya smiled "Mr nobody, look who's awake".
"Kaeya" Albedo mumbled "Oh it's you".
"It's me" Kaeya sobbed.
"Why are you crying?".
"I just love you so much".
"Don't cry, I don't like it when you cry".
"okay" Kaeya's eyes fluttered shut "I won't cry anymore".
"I'm glad" Albedo yawned "You don't deserve to be sad".
"Thank you" Kaeya shook as he clung frantically onto Albedo "shit the pills-".
"Hey, Kaeya?".
Kaeya didn't have the strength to get his words out anymore.
"You're good enough, you'll always be good enough, I love you".
Kaeya sobbed, breaths coming out slower.
"I"
he wheezed,
"Love"
he was slowly fading.
"You".
his last breath was sudden and came as fast as it went.
"Kaeya why do you feel so cold?".
…
"Kaeya?".
--
Diluc sat quietly outside Albedo's room, not wanting to disturb Kaeya. He looked at his watch, and sighed, noticing how late it was getting. He summoned the willpower to open the door.
He smiled slightly at the sight of the two boys curled into each other.
"Who?" Albedo called.
"It's Diluc" he spoke quietly.
"Oh".
"I'm afraid I have come to get Kaeya".
"Oh," Albedo frowned, "But he's so peaceful".
"I know" Diluc frowned "But he needs to sleep in his own bed".
He walked over, ruffling Kaeya's hair "Let's go, it's late".
There was no response.
"Kaeya I'm not playing around, let's go".
The lack of response was starting to get worrying. With trembling breath, he placed his hand on Kaeya's pulse.
There wasn't one.
"Shit, Kaeya, Kaeya breathe".
He slammed his fist against the emergency button and dragged Kaeya to the floor with all his strength.
He started CPR.
"Why" Diluc cried, "You Idiot, why".
A fluster of nurses and doctors burst through the door, taking over Diluc's job.
Diluc slid down the wall in the corner of the room, in shock.
"suspected drug overdose"-
"Do we have any signs of life?-"
"Let's move him out of here as soon as possible, we don't need the other patient seeing this"-
"I think we have to call it"-
"What's wrong with Kaeya?"-
"Time of death"-
"Wait!" Diluc cried".
"Time of death, Ten Thirty-Three PM".
"Let's go".
"Where's Kaeya going?". Albedo muttered.
"Go to sleep sweetheart" One of the nurses mumbled.
Diluc placed his hands over his ears to block out all the noise.
"why?".
--
"Kaeya are you there?" Albedo called, heart beating frantically.
"I'm scared, I think-".
He didn't want to die alone.
"You said I wouldn't be alone".
A bright white light sprung into his vision. His eyes fluttered open. He felt like he could breathe easily for the first time in a long time.
The boy, 'Venti' he remembered, was standing in front of the big tree, he smiled over at Albedo, giving him a large wave and a boisterous smile.
"Does the wind call to you?".
Albedo thought the answer over. Before nodding.
"That's okay, don't be afraid".
He stepped forward, taking Ventis' hand. "Listen I can only give you so much time, use it wisely". Venti frowned, the wind chimed as if a warning.
Sitting next to the tree was Kaeya, his big eyes looked so vulnerable in that moment.
"I-" Kaeya whispered.
"You idiot" Albedo jumped down and pulled Kaeya into a hug.
"Where you go, I go, always" Albedo whispered.
"Always". Kaeya whispered back.
"What now?" Albedo mustered the courage to ask Venti.
The boy shuddered, reaching into the wind and forming it into a ball. He closed his eyes. "You go to the next place".
"No matter where we go" Kaeya whispered, "I will always find you".
Kaeya pulled albedo close to him, holding him in a tight embrace, scared to let go.
"I will find you too" Albedo whispered.
"This isn't goodbye"
"It's see you later-"
--
"Kaeya!" Jean called the man over with a smile.
Kaeya walked over to the acting grandmaster with curiosity.
"This is Albedo, our chief alchemist".
"Nice to meet you" Kaeya bowed before looking back up with wonder.
"Have I met you somewhere before?".
--
END