Chapter Text
When Tim realized he was bisexual and subsequently gained a boyfriend, he existed in a honeymoon phase for about two dates before he realized he’d have to come out to everyone. For someone who had fought psychotic clowns and interdimensional alien invasions, that thought really shouldn’t have been as scary as it was.
Come on Tim. You know they’ll be supportive. Probably . No one important in his life was super conservative or leaned in any way that led Tim to think they would react poorly to him coming out. Even Uncle Clark, a man who had been raised on a farm in the middle of Kansas, was extremely supportive when Jon started dating Jay (Tim had even overheard Jon exasperatedly tell Damien over the phone about how Clark had practically drowned their house in pride flags at the beginning of June).
No, the problem was not if Tim would be disowned or not. The problem was how they would react. And how much those reactions would make Tim want to combust in embarrassment. So he made a list of everyone he wanted to tell personally in his inner circle and was promptly reminded of how many freaking people he had in his family.
Jesus, where does Bruce even find all of us ? Tim wondered as he sketched out a revised family tree on his whiteboard. It took him several tries because he couldn’t get the color-coding just right, Stephanie better appreciate the extra work I’m doing to ensure her name is purple . But eventually, the list was made and carefully sifted through to figure out who he wanted to tell. And in what order.
Some like Kate kinda already knew. When Tim had been going through his BuzzFeed ‘are you gay?’ frantic googling portion of coming to terms with his sexuality, she had been an invaluable resource for all his late-night crises. So for her, he ended up just sending a confirmation text.
Tim: hey just wanted to let you know I’m bi. Thanks for the help and all the articles you sent.
Her reply came about two hours later. Tim almost fumbled it into the toilet in his panic.
Kate: No worries man. Happy you were able to figure it out. welcome to the community :)
Kate never used emojis so Tim felt pretty damn honored that she broke one out for him.
Tim: Happy to not be the only rainbow sheep in the family?
Kate: Oh Tim, we’re definitely not the only ones.
Tim nearly scalded himself with his coffee.
Tim: “WHAT??? REALLY? WHO???
Tim: if they’re comfortable with you telling
Kate: No one has concretely come out 'sides us, but I have my suspicions.
Kate: Plus statistically, there has to be at least one more. Specially in super community
Is that a thing? Tim mentally bookmarked “queer superhero percentages” to research later.
Tim: who do you suspect?
Kate : Who do you suspect? Let’s do a test run of that gaydar of yours, get it working right.
Tim sat back in his chair, flummoxed. Anyone besides him and Kate? He didn’t know what made someone gay, he was still pretty new at this. Was there a code or phrase they used to locate one another? Like that Tumblr shoelace thing? Tim wracked his brain for what he knew of the LGBTQ+ community. Well, Harper had an undercut but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. He had an undercut! Wait…
Tim: Bluebird?
Kate’s response was almost immediate.
Kate: Now you’re getting it.
…
Before he even made his list, Tim knew he had to tell Alfred first. It just made the most sense in his mind. He had briefly considered telling Dick, but his brother had given him one too many noogies after the last mission which had knocked him down a few ranks.
So telling Alfred first made sense. He was the one whose opinion he respected the most. And if he doesn’t accept me …Alfred would understand, Tim was a hundred percent sure. Nearly. Like, 76% .
Still, this didn’t make the process any easier to tackle. Tim ended up doing a bunch of chores around the Manor, offering to assist Alfred with various tasks in the hopes of getting some one-on-one time without being too obvious or awkward about it. But he could never find the right time; either someone else would walk in or the vibe was really nice and Tim didn’t want to ruin that with his stupid stuff. Which is how he ended up here, at the grocery store with Alfred, helping him pick out what he needed for dinner tonight.
Just face it, you’re gonna be in the closet forever. Move over ties. Tim bemoaned his predicament while staring at a wall of produce as he tried to recall what a ‘shallot’ looked like.
“Master Tim, are you alright?” Alfred’s concerned voice snapped him out of his stupor. He glanced over at the older British man who despite being dressed like a Clue character looked perfectly at home in the grocery store.
“I’m fine!” Tim quickly assured him, turning back to the mountain of vegetables. “Just looking for the best shallots.” They are probably green right? Like statistically. He snatched a leafy stem-looking thing at random and showed it off to Alfred. “These alright?”
“I believe that is kale Master Tim. Which, while an excellent healthy choice, is not the best to use in a recipe for shallot bread.”
Tim felt his face burn. “Oh.” Shit. Now Alfred knows I’m definitely not eating healthy on my own. Tim blamed Dick for his own poor diet and for making sugary cereal seem like a viable option for an adult. “Sorry.”
With an amused look in his eye, Alfred reached over to Tim and grabbed a couple of pale red bulbs that Tim could have sworn were onions. “It’s quite alright Master Tim, throw them in the cart, I’m sure we’ll find some use for them.” Alfred gave him a gentle smile that Tim couldn’t bear to look at. He dragged his eyes to the floor instead whilst wincing internally. You’re being rude. He’s being nice and you’re being rude and he’s gonna know something's up . Tim shut his eyes against the waves of anxiety that sloshed around his head, threatening to force his eyes open.
He waited for Alfred to say something. Admonish him maybe or call him out for acting weird the past few days. Instead, he heard Alfred sigh and felt the kale being taken from his grasp. “It’s quite alright Master Timothy.” Tim waited for more but Alfred stayed mostly quiet the rest of the trip, only making the briefest of small talk. Well, this plan is going splendidly so far.
Eventually, they ended up with arms full of grocery bags waiting outside for Duke. Usually, Alfred drove himself to the store but with Duke getting his license he was eager to practice his driving as much as he could. So Tim and Alfred waited, a slightly chilly breeze in the air. Tim resisted the urge to shiver. I knew I should have worn Bernard’s hoodie.
The gifted jacket in question had become his favorite piece of clothing recently, being soft, warm, and easy to cuddle up in (just like its previous owner). Tim hadn’t gotten the courage to wear it around the family yet though.
“Are you cold Master Tim?” Tim focused back on their conversation. Alfred stood next to him, wearing an expression of light concern.
“Oh, I’m fine.” He wasn’t fine. He was queer and everything was different now but also the same? He so desperately wanted to tell someone that he was happy but he was scared of things changing. “I’m fine.”
The most recent fine was so fake that Tim couldn’t fight his wince. Maybe I should have taken that acting class with Jay. Despite having a good poker face on missions and other endeavors, when it came to his sexuality, Tim couldn’t lie to save his life. And it looks like I’ll have to be lying for the foreseeable future. He waited for Alfred to call him out on it and demand to know what was wrong, but the man said nothing. He just gave a sigh, one that sounded long-suffering but also fond.
Tim looked up and saw that Alfred was smiling at him. A soft, keen smile that seemed playfully exasperated with Tim’s antics. It was such a gentle yet novel look that Tim felt his heart thump.
“There’s-there’s something I want to tell you. Something I’ve been wanting to tell you.” The words were out of Tim’s mouth before he could even register them. Alfred raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, seemingly waiting for Tim to continue. Tim resisted the urge to fiddle with his hands. “I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while because it's something that’s really important to me, but I don’t know how to bring it up or what anyone will say.” And I’m scared of losing you all.
“I-” Tim wasn’t really sure what he was going to say after that because it suddenly occurred to him that he was coming out to his adoptive grandfather in a grocery store parking lot. He wasn’t an expert on anything LGBTQ+ but it didn’t seem like the ideal spot.
“Tim,” Alfred began to say. Luckily, or unluckily, depending on how you interpreted it, Duke arrived. Driving one of Bruce’s less expensive cars, he pulled up to the side of the grocery store, not quite managing to stop exactly in front of the duo. The car lurched a couple of feet forward before coming to a complete halt.
Tim took the opportunity to nope right on out of there, shouting behind him “uh yeah nevermind it’s not actually that important. Really, don’t worry about it!” before he jumped into the backseat. Flawless .
After arriving back at the manor, Tim had excused himself to his room almost immediately. Alfred looked like he wanted to talk but Dick had apparently caused a fire pre-heating the oven which Tim used as the opportunity to sneak away. He managed to avoid Alfred the rest of the evening, even calling in his favor with Damien to set the table for him in return for not telling Bruce about Damien stabbing him in the bathroom last week. Thought I was an intruder my ass . It wasn’t until well after dinner that Tim heard a knocking on his door.
“Master Timothy? Are you in here?” They both knew the answer was yes, Tim only left his door ajar when he was in the room. But Alfred was polite like that.
Tim’s stomach did a handspring that would have made Dick proud. “Uh, yes.” He debated exiting through the window, but Bruce had put up alarms in all the bedroom windows after Jason had attempted escape from bedrest one too many. “Come in.”
Alfred pushed open the door. He crossed over to Tim’s bed where he was sitting, fiddling with the ends of Bernard’s hoodie. Gingerly, he sat down next to him.
“I wanted to follow up on what you were telling me at the grocery store.” Alfred spoke in a low gentle tone that was intended to soothe. It just made Tim’s heart flutter with anxiety as he winced.
“Uh, it wasn’t really important so I don’t wanna bother you. Especially if you got other stuff going on which you probably do-”
“Master Tim.” Alfred’s calm and steady voice interrupted his spiral. “You may speak to me about whatever you wish. You are never a bother or burden. If it is important to you, I’d like to hear it.”
Tim stared at Alfred for a bit before looking down at the floor. He saw the edge of a bookcase filled with school books he hadn’t read. It was a good sight to center on as he took a deep breath. Breathe in. Breathe out . You can do this. Just say it.
Ten seconds passed. Or it could have been ten minutes, Tim wasn’t really sure. It felt like forever. “I have a boyfriend.” He ground out, feeling his face go fill with enough heat to cook an egg. “I like boys. And-and girls! I’m bisexual. So yeah.” He made a hand gesture that was halfway between a shrug and a ‘go away. “That’s a thing.”
Alfred was quiet for a moment. Then Tim felt a warm hand grip his shoulder. “Oh, my boy. Thank you for telling me. It can’t have been easy.” Alfred squeezed his shoulder, a bit of amusement leaking onto his face. “If I may be frank, I thought you were going to share something terrible with me. I’ve been dreading the worst sorts of medical diagnoses all night. But this,” another squeeze gets sent to his shoulder and Tim thinks he would cry if he drank enough water to have tears, “this is you becoming you. And that is a wonderful thing.”
Tim exhales, a bit shaky. The irrational, crushing grip that has taken hold of his heart melts away as he surges forward to give Alfred a hug. Alfred, ever the proper refined Britishman, gives him a cordial tap on the back.
After he pulls back, Alfred continues. “Whatever you want to tell me, I’d love to hear it,” he assures Tim.
“There’s not much to really tell. I had a realization that not everyone finds men and women equally attractive and that I really wouldn’t mind spending time with a guy in a romantic way.” Then Tim had promptly clamped down on those feelings, only resurfacing when he reconnected with Bernard and his brain helpfully reminded him that he was attracted to men. “I did some research and talked to aunt Kate a bit, and I realized that I didn’t have to be who I always thought I had to be. I could let go and find a whole new path.
“And you’re happy?” Alfred asked.
Tim felt that irrationality sweep back and take a hold of his heart. Only instead of fear, it was irrational happiness–the kind of joy that made you smile nonsensically. He felt one of those smiles break across his face now. “I think I am. I’m still figuring things out, but I’ve been feeling really positive lately. Like everything’s new in some way.” Tim had felt the silly thralls of love before, but this was something a bit more inner-looking. It was like he could finally be happy with just himself.
Alfred smiled. “You don’t know how pleased I am to hear that. Now about this boyfriend of yours,” his tone changed from warm to his usual no-nonsense, ‘stop getting out of bed if you’re injured you bloody imbecile’ tone. “When shall we expect him over at the Manor for dinner?”
“Probably not for a while,” Tim admits. He resists the urge to panic at the thought of Bernard meeting everyone. Of Bruce acting as a host. I’d need to confiscate Damien’s knife collection, he’ll definitely challenge him to some sort of duel to see if he’s “worthy” of joining the family. And burn all of the photo albums. “I haven’t really come out to the family yet.”
“Master Tim, I hope you know that they will most certainly welcome him with open arms,” Alfred assures him. “We don’t always make it the easiest in this family to talk about our emotions but I hope you know that everyone in this family will accept you and support you.”
Tim gave a nervous laugh. “You’re probably right. But would you mind keeping this a secret? You’re the first person I’ve sorta really told about this.”
He heard a sharp inhale of breath. When Tim looked up he saw that Alfred’s eyes shone. He pulled Tim into a tight hug. Tim startled but eventually relaxed into the embrace, reaching his arms up to lock around him.
“I’m incredibly honored,” Alfred said, his voice sounding a bit more watery. Tears sprung into Tim’s eyes and he blinked them closed, letting himself be squeezed even tighter.