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“How do you prepare for anal?”
Hyunjin spit the water he had just drunk dramatically, face flushing red as he coughed.
“You-you can’t just simply s-say that without any context!” Hyunjin said between coughs, hitting his chest with his fist.
“What context would you need?”
“You could start with why you’re asking me this.”
Felix looked down at his phone, clearly debating whether to say it out loud. He sighed, face flushing, “I have been using Tinder Passport to find potential… dates for when we go on tour.” Felix let out a loud breath as if the burden of a mountain had lifted off his shoulders.
“You mean one-night stands.”
“Yeah,” Felix looked down at his lap again and Hyunjin had to avoid cooing when he saw Felix’s red ears sticking through his black hair. “So,” Felix gulped, “I matched with someone, they’re really pretty, and they want to peg me.”
“I see,” Hyunjin nodded. “I honestly have to give it to your commitment to your horniness thinking you’ll have the energy for that after the shows.”
“They’re aware.”
“They know who you are?”
“Not necessarily, I said I’ll be working extra long shifts at a hospital.”
Hyunjin squinted, “What did you say you are?”
“A travel nurse.”
“If you were my nurse, I’d die,” Hyunjin smirked.
“Thanks,” Felix rolled his eyes, “I should’ve asked Chan.” Felix shifted as if he was about to stand from Hyunjin’s bed before Hyunjin grabbed his hands.
“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that, sit down,” Hyunjin chuckled. “You’re so handsome, you’d probably kill a few patients with your charm. Would you really have Chan-hyung talk to you about this?”
“Not talk,” Felix's voice became so small Hyunjin could barely make up the words that he said next, “show me.”
Felix couldn’t make up his mind on whether the silence that ensued was uncomfortable or not; he squirmed in his seat and took deep breaths, refusing to look at Hyunjin. He noticed his phone going off, a message from his Tinder match. He could hear his own heartbeat loud in his ears. “I shouldn’t have said anything,” he finally said and hurriedly walked away before Hyunjin could react. He walked across the apartment, ignoring Jisung’s request to play a game together and Chan’s concerned voice asking him if something was wrong. He made his way to his apartment and room so quickly that Minho and Jeongin barely noticed even though they were eating some sort of dessert in the kitchen with a full view of the living room and hallway to the rooms. Felix locked himself in his room, buried his face against a pillow and let out an incredibly frustrated and embarrassed scream. Luckily for him, it was late enough that staying in bed and drifting away in sleep wouldn’t be questioned. Better to sleep than stay awake wondering what Hyunjin might be thinking of him now.
There were many days in which he was grateful to have his own bedroom after years of sharing with his friends and he was feeling that gratitude at the moment. As the darkness of the night enveloped him, Hyunjin remained sitting on his bed. His heart was beating fast, his mind was almost empty aside from the thoughts of why would he tell me that, what exactly did he want from me? repeating themselves over and over as images began to accompany them and, he couldn’t even ignore how achingly hard his dick had become. He let out a frustrated groan and tried to think of his current options to take care of his situation, a shower being the most productive one. But he didn’t want to be productive. He wanted to give in. He wanted to take a risk.
He laid down on the bed and grabbed his body pillow, immediately crossing his legs around it. He was too desperate to even get rid of his pants, quickly rubbing against it, fingers digging into the fabric. As his hips set a maddened motion he tried to imagine it was warmer, that he could hear someone else’s moans besides his low, controlled ones. He tried to imagine their lips locked to each other’s, the same lips kissing down every inch of his body, wrapping around his aroused cock. With a jerk, Hyunjin came in his pants, rolling his hips through his high, panting.
He remembered the first lockdown as the moment things changed. Where he figured it wasn’t just that he preferred Felix over everyone else, it was more that he wanted him. And in time, the want turned into feelings that Hyunjin refused to deal with. Had Felix been just a bit more patient, Hyunjin could’ve told him that he was definitely up to the challenge of helping him, even if he felt a pang in his chest thinking of the people Felix seemed to plan to be using the knowledge with.
With a sad sigh he took his blanket and covered himself to sleep.
Practice went as usual the next day. Felix didn’t even seem that awkward but Hyunjin’s thoughts kept going back and forth between the reality of Felix asking the question and the fantasy that subdued Hyunjin afterwards. What would Felix look like? What would he sound like? The uncomfortable but familiar knot forming in Hyunjin’s stomach distracted him to the point of concerning the others. A simple “ I’m not feeling well ” seemed to work on them but, if he was honest, he had never felt better. It was exhilarating in a way. If only he could find a good time to respond that, yes, he was interested in helping. His chance came close to lunch time, when Felix made his way to him, covered in sweat from dancing, face and neck red from the exertion, and a wide smile spread across his lips. “Are you really okay, Jinnie?”
“I’ll help you,” Hyunjin said quickly, voice low as he looked around to make sure nobody paid them any attention.
“With wh-, oh,” Felix mumbled as realization hit him. “Really? You don’t have to.”
“I want to,” Hyunjin replied. Whether Felix noticed the eagerness in his voice he didn’t show. Instead he smiled once again and nodded.
“I know everyone has plans to be out tonight in my apartment,” Felix said, starting to walk with him to join everyone else for lunch, “would that work?”
Yes! Every fiber of Hyunjin’s body screamed at him. Instead, he tried to keep it cool with a “That will work. Let’s go now, I am starving.” As he let Felix walk ahead of him he realized he wasn’t quite starving for food itself.
Felix’s room had never looked more pristine. In fact, he had thrown so many of his things in the closet that if he opened it he would be buried. He cleaned every surface he could and his bed was neatly made with white sheets. He set his lights to give off red tones. He sighed, satisfied. When Hyunjin walked into the apartment he called for him and he walked over to meet him at the door.
“Do you want to eat or drink anything first?” Felix asked but Hyunjin shook his head.
“It should be okay, we can eat afterwards unless you’re hungry now.”
“I’m good,” Felix smiled. He walked Hyunjin to his room, a place he had been countless times before. But this was different; he had prepared every inch of the space for Hyunjin. He was glad when Hyunjin complimented him on it.
“So, what do you need to know?” Hyunjin asked, setting a duffel bag on the bed.
“Everything,” Felix replied. “If you could… show me, if you don’t mind.”
“Mmm,” Hyunjin nodded. “First, you make sure you’re clean. Doesn’t matter if it’s a toy or somebody’s flesh going in, you want to make sure anything that goes in comes out as clean as possible. Personally? I used an enema which isn’t that fun but it gets the job done,” he stopped. Felix seemed fine so he continued. “Once water comes out so clean you forget where it’s coming from, you can try inserting a finger to make sure. Have you fingered yourself before?”
“Not really,” he confessed.
“That’s fine. You’ll get there. So, I got all of that done before coming over, of course. Now starts the fun part,” Hyunjin sat on the bed, unsure of how to proceed. Felix gave him some time. Hyunjin would never admit that, sometimes, speaking seriously about this could make him blush. So he decided to do the next best thing, “You can ask me to stop any time.” And with those final words, he pushed his pants down onto the floor and laid on the bed. He grabbed a bottle of lube from the bag, squirted some on his fingers, and spread his legs. He kept his head on the bed, looking up, unable to look at Felix’s face. He assumed he was still there. He didn’t hear the door open.
Hyunjin rubbed his lubed fingers against each other to warm up the liquid and then brought his hands close to his rim. He took a deep breath as he inserted one finger first, slowly working it as deep as he could go. “It will be uncomfortable at first but if it hurts, stop.” He allowed his body to get used to the intrusion and once it did, he began to move it in and out, slowly and making sure to not hit his prostate yet. He moved his finger side to side slowly relaxing his sphincter. He introduced a second finger and continued working through similar motions. A third finger and he couldn’t stop himself before he moaned softly, his longest finger was too close to his prostate the deeper he went. His dick was leaking, and he was desperate for a warm touch on it. For a moment he forgot where he was, who he was with, when he touched his prostate he saw stars and almost wanted to increase the pace when he was interrupted.
“How do you know you’ve prepared properly for someone else?”
“What?” Hyunjin furrowed his brows and awkwardly brought himself up on his one elbow to look at Felix, fingers still in. His body burned up as he noticed Felix keeping an eye on his fingers and ass.
“How do you know it’s good?”
“It feels good and comfortable.”
“Yes, yes, but how do you know if it works for the other person as well?”
“Felix, if I can stick three fingers in my ass and probably a toy, I am sure whoever I’m with won’t have any issues sticking their dick in.” Hyunjin replied softly, and Felix nodded with a smile. Hyunjin huffed, a bit frustrated he had to stop what he was doing, and let his back hit the bed again. He panted, unsure of how to move next. It wasn’t just a regular masturbating session. He was teaching Felix.
“Okay let me ask a different question,” Felix said, his voice different. Hyunjin rested on his elbow again and couldn’t stop himself from gaping. “If someone is fucking me, how do I let them know they’re doing good?”
“Where are your pants?” Hyunjin almost immediately felt a need to smack himself on the face as the question left his lips.
“How do I let them know what I want?”
“You just ask.”
“You said you’d show me.”
Hyunjin debated for a moment. “Touch me.” It was a breathless request. Felix didn’t hesitate; he walked over and sat next to Hyunjin, hand softly caressing Hyunjin’s thighs and making his way up to his cock. Hyunjin whimpered as Felix closed his hand around the base, slowly bringing it up to the head. He lazily began to stroke it as he laid on his elbow, head resting on his hand, looking at Hyunjin becoming a mess under him.
“Like this?” Felix asked, making the question sound so innocent. Hyunjin had no words left, just a quick nod and soft moans, hips rising and falling to follow Felix’s hand. Felix noticed Hyunjin had taken his fingers out and without taking his hand off him, he straightened up and searched Hyunjin’s bag. He took out a condom and kept it in his free hand. Hyunjin’s moans were desperate and increasing in amount and pitch, he figured he was close.
Hyunjin came with a jerk upwards, his cum making a mess of his shirt and Felix’s hand.
“Fuck,” Hyunjin whispered. Felix opened up the condom, wincing when he wrapped it around his erection.
“So if you follow those steps, it makes anal easier?”
Hyunjin whimpered in response. He followed Felix’s movements like a hawk, even in his post orgasm daze he could make the movements as Felix took his shirt off. If he started to drool he could blame it on the post orgasm bliss but he didn’t have a chance, not when Felix was now kneeling in front of his exposed ass, softly taking Hyunjin’s legs and placing each of them on either side of his hips. Towering over him like that, Felix tilted his head in such an innocent manner that didn’t seem to belong in the current situation.
“Please just fuck me,” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, starting to become aware to every sensation in his body. Felix dragged his fingertips softly across his thighs then up to his sides, the trace felt like fire. They finally made it to his face and Hyunjin melted away into the touch. Felix softly dropped down and met Hyunjin’s lips with his own, a kiss that felt too tender for the situation at hand. He imagined Felix’s lips being soft, but was still surprised at the smoothness against his own.
The kiss turned into a hungry deep one, tongues finding one another, their breaths becoming louder. Suddenly, Felix slammed his cock inside of Hyunjin, as deep as he could go, and Hyunjin moaned loudly into his mouth. It was perfect, he felt complete, his body welcomed it. Felix pulled away, kissing Hyunjin’s cheeks then neck. “Like this?” Felix whispered into Hyunjin’s ear, sending a shiver down his back.
“Just like that,” Hyunjin managed to whisper.
Felix kissed him again, pulling his hips away then slamming against Hyunjin once more, repeating the pattern a few more times, each moan deliciously vibrating throughout his own body. He was meticulous, managing to hit Hyunjin’s prostate each time.
Felix began to feel the build up, heat pooling in his stomach. He pulled back from Hyunjin, the cold air making them both shiver, but then he dug his nails against Hyunjin’s hips and increased his pace. He groaned with each movement, desperately chasing his own relief.
“Fuck, fuck, yes Felix, Felix, Felix…” Hyunjin’s voice was loud, all he could do was say his name over and over, the control he had over him then made Felix feel like he was on top of the world. He bit his lower lip, sweat on his forehead and brows making his black hair stick to it. And under him, Hyunjin wasn’t in better shape; his brown hair was a mess under him, some of it sticking to the side of his face. Eyes closed, head thrown back, a slight smile on his lips as he moaned over and over, his back arching slightly, Felix felt luckier than ever.
“Only I can make you feel like this,” Felix said between thrusts, his voice faltering but it didn’t matter, “Only I will make you feel like this. Yes?”
“Yes,” yes, yes, fuck, ” Hyunjin cried out, coming untouched.
It was the hottest thing Felix had ever seen, making a mess of the man under him had his body in overdrive, rolling his hips as he frantically fucked into Hyunjin until finally he let out a loud moan and came.
They were both panting, Felix slowly dropped down again and kissed Hyunjin softly. They both smiled in the kiss. There was no need to say anything, not yet at least. Felix pulled out completely, took off the used condom, tied a knot and threw it in the trash across his room.
He always kept wipes on his nightstand and, silently, he began to wipe Hyunjin first as well as he could. He then wiped himself, grabbing his shirt as he felt the chill air against his skin make him shiver. Hyunjin looked at him in a daze, flushed cheeks and messy hair. As if he had hung up the moon itself.
He helped Hyunjin get under the covers. He turned on his TV and gave Hyunjin the remote to pick something to watch while Felix ordered pizza to be delivered.
He settled on the bed and Hyunjin rested his head against his shoulder, looking at him.
“So that’s basically how you prepare for anal,” he whispered. They both laughed. “You’ll be ready for any match you want to go to now.”
“Or,” Felix felt his heart pounding against his chest, “it could be only you.”
“Mmm,” Hyunjin mumbled, “yeah. It could be only me. I’d like that.”
“Did you really make up a Tinder match to finally get into Hyunjin’s pants and get him to date you?”
Felix turned to Chan, faking a scandalized face. “I did not make up a Tinder match, I did make a friend!”
“You used it to find a friend ?”
“Who else could I randomly ask how to get into my crush’s pants and get him to date me?”
“The friends you already have , Felix. The friends you already have,” Chan rolled his eyes yet was smiling, amused.
“Well it worked, didn’t it?”
“Perhaps too much,” Chan turned to his laptop while Felix scrolled on his phone. “You could go easy on him before extensive dance practice days.”
Felix blushed at being called out like that. “Noted.”