Chapter Text
As usual, emotions were high with all the promotions and interviews that TXT had completed. They made their comeback with their new song Blue Hour and have been going from station to station to perform their songs. They were currently in the HYBE dance studio going through last-minute details of their choreography for their Mnet performance. Soobin saw that the stress and lack of sleep were starting to affect the group.
Taehyun had been scrolling through his phone, dark circles under his eyes, which his porcelain skin made look even darker. On the other side of the practice room, Kai was giggling along with Beomgyu, both fighting for their Hyungs attention. It was never a dull moment when those two ganged up together. Yeonjun’s curled up on the couch, eyes closed, his pink cotton candy hair blocking his sight. Soobin couldn’t tell if he was sleeping or trying to ignore the commotion around him.
“Help me with my skateboard Hyung!” Beomgyu waved the board in front of Yeonjun. Soobin then heard a loud shriek watching as Kai bulldozed through Beomgyu.
“Yeah, Hyung, let’s see your skills,” Kai grabbed the board before stepping on it, almost face planting, had Yeonjun not caught him. He wouldn’t say it, but Soobin could see the strain in Hyung’s eyes through his smile. It was subtle, but he could tell he was tired even when he agreed to supervise them. Soobin always told him he never knew his limitations, which ended in many arguments about how he already had constraints in his life; he didn’t want to let them rule over him. Honestly, Soobin couldn’t blame him and thus couldn’t retort. That didn't mean everyone didn't keep an eye out for him when he pushed himself a little too hard.
Everyone was tired, but it was Yeonjun that Soobin was most concerned about; honestly, when wasn’t he concerned? Yeonjun was a closeted epileptic. Only the staff and members knew of his condition, and Yeonjun wanted to keep it that way. Comebacks always caused his seizures to double, and Soobin had been keeping an eye out for any subtle changes that indicated he needed to slow down, such as today. But lack of sleep was slowly overtaking Yeonjun’s body, and Soobin was positive the others could tell that he wasn’t the energizer fox he usually was. That is probably why the other two were entertaining him with their shenanigans.
“Yeonjun Hyung?” Soobin turned to see Kai and Beomgyu had paused their teasing, each taking one of Yeonjun’s hands when he stumbled forward, losing focus on what was happening around him. Kai pushed Yeounjuns hair out of his face checking his breathing, rubbing gentle strokes along his hand to keep him stimulated. Yeonjuns eyes were rolling back while his head twitched ever so slightly. His breath was shallow but not erratic. He was eerily motionless from below the neck, but his unfocused eye roll indicated seizure activity. Soobin had seen him have many seizures, but that never stopped him from holding his breath for those long 20-plus seconds waiting for Yeonjuns eyes to stop rolling. He finally blinked a few times before looking at the younger boys in confusion. Landing on Beomgyu, who still stroked his hand, overlooking the caresses from Kai, who was still playing with his hair.
“Sorry,” Yeonjun mumbled. He looked troubled; “that came on faster than usual. I thought I had more time before it would start.”
“Mmm that’s okay hyung!” Beomgyu grinned, “it wasn’t big, but maybe sit down for a while,” he finished, concluding his explanation as to why Kai should be thrown out the window after losing one of his shoes at the arcade. The tallest of the three stuck his tongue out but moved a little closer to Yeonjun on the couch. Soobin noticed that Beomgyu also kept Yeonjun’s hand within his own, playing with his fingers, unconsciously—maybe, but he couldn’t help but feel at ease when he saw Yeonjun relax in their presence.
Soobin had caught Yeonjun's eyes, who smiled back with a wink before concentrating on the two arguing beside him, trying to help solve whatever dilemma they were discussing. Soobin couldn’t help recalling when they first learned about Yeonjun’s health. After being assigned as a unit, they noticed Yeonjun leaving at random moments or dozing off at inappropriate times. The others had an unpleasant impression because of his actions, leading to a massive dispute on if he should stay in the group. Soobin was ashamed to say it, but he agreed that Yeonjun was disrespectful and they needed to say something. That was until they found him, on the floor, in an empty room. That was one of the scariest moments for all of them. They had no idea what was happening or how to help. After talking with Yeonjun and an unnecessary trip to the hospital, they all assumed he would come to them when he needed help. That was an absurd assumption on Soobin’s part, especially after isolating him for his previous actions. For months Soobin simply thought that Yeonjun’s seizures weren’t bad, possibly even under control since finding him the first time — naive, yes.
For the sole reason that Soobin had the pleasure of walking in on Yeonjun, aspirating on his vomit on their shower floor, resulting in a horrifying hospital visit and a few weeks of extra rest and medication. After that day, they had a long and heavy discussion about safety and trusting each other. The members said their apologies and created new bonds. Soobin couldn’t help smiling at the memories of the boys crying and cuddling the elder. Scared they would lose him because he was being stubborn. They still had moments when he refused to ask for help, but they did their best — still do — to show him he doesn’t have to go through this alone. It is a part of who he is; they fully accept his quirks. But Yeonjun never really accepted it, so all the members can do is show that they accept him for who he is. Epilepsy included.
“You know Hyung, Junnie Hyung is having a lot more seizure activity than before.” Taehyun had made his way over to the leader and sat beside him with a thud. A smile played along his lips while he watched the three members tease each other.
“Mmmm,” Soobin hummed. “I know Tae, but he won't rest, and as much as I may not like it, we can’t force him to rest if he says he’s okay.” He was aware that the elder had been going into much more seizure activity for the last few days. Not as subtle as his absences but not as painful as his Grand Mal seizures he often had. He had warned the manager's about a possible Grand Mal but didn't want to worry the others just yet. Yeonjun claimed he was perfectly okay when Soobin asked him how he was doing—earning an earful about being too overbearing. But that didn't deter Soobin's determination to be an overprotective leader.
Taehyun grumbled under his breath, ultimately agreeing that Hyung was stubborn. The more they watched the other, the more he struggled to stay focused, slipping into another minor seizure. The two bickering beside him didn't even realize it and continued their shouting battle.
“Ya! The both of you need to give Hyung space!” Taehyun hollered before Soobin even opened his mouth.
As if they had one brain cell, both turned to Yeonjun with a pout, getting off his lap — of course not before checking his breathing and swiping his cotton candy hair out of his eyes. When the elder came, too, he noticed the boys had moved places. Soobin wasn’t sure why he felt his gut twist; maybe it was because he had just witnessed Yonejun have two focal seizures close together. Maybe? He swallowed his concerns as Yeonjun walked to Soobin and Taehyun, pulling them both up.
“Thanks,” Yeonjun smiled at the two, “I was starting to get a headache from following along with their stories.” Massaging Taehyun's head and messing up the younger hair. Soobin smirked; he knew Taehyun long enough to know he always thrived from the members' head pets.
Just as he thought, Taehyun was still expressionless, but a slight tint of pink spread across his cheeks when he nodded at Yoenjun. Glancing at Soobin, he made his way to the other two boys, smacking the back of Beomgyu's head with an evil smirk– just because he could.
Soobin pulled Yeonjun into a hug resting his head on his shoulder. “You gonna be okay? Those were pretty close together,” he whispered, scared to upset the other.
“Yeah, I'm fine; it always happens, remember.” Yeonjun smirked, wiggling his eyebrows, “nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix.” Soobin smacked his shoulder but stayed still. “I think we should start practice before dumb and dumber start an actual fight, or Taehyun murders one of them.” Yeonjun snickered. He twisted Soobin around to see Taehyun gripping Beomgyu’s shirt. The space between his eyebrows pinched, looking slightly pissed off, and Kai ran in circles making kissy faces. Yeah, practice needed to start inwardly laughing. They were idiots, but they were Soobins idiots.
~~~
By the end of practice, everyone was panting for air. The group had managed to fix the small details in their dance routine for their next performance. Soobin was sore and slightly light-headed; the choreographer was in a rush to finish, not willing to give more than a 20-minute break during their entire 3-hour practice. Beomgyu and Kai were quieter than earlier; even Taehyun had nothing to say. The three huddled together, sprawled on the floor, trying to regain their breath. Off to the side, Soobin noticed Yoenjun having a much harder time than the others. His back turned to them, and his shirt was drenched in sweat. Worry rushed through his veins; he caught Beomgyu’s eyes and waved him over to check on the eldest.
Beomgyu nodded, crawling over, the other two watching from the corner of their eyes. “Hyung? Are you okay?” Beomgyu lightly placed his hand against Yeonjun’s back. He didn’t move away from the touch; a delicate groan left his lips when Beomgyu turned him over. He was awake, but he looked ill. “Oh, Hyung,” Beomgyu sighed, apprehensive of what to do next. “Soobin Hyung, Junnie Hyung doesn’t look goo–” before he could finish, there was a knock on the door.
‘Fuck’ Soobin thought. The timing was horrible. He could see how pale Yeonjun was and Beomgyu’s helpless look. While pulling a disoriented Yeonjun up, he told Soobin he didn’t think Hyung should stand. They had no choice as reporters filed into the room. Soobin could hear Beomgyu and Kai, who had made his way over to help Beomgyu, whisper, “Hyung, there are reporters. Will you be fine?” Kai chimed in, “we can ask them to leave?”
Yeonjun shook his head, his voice weak, “n-no, I’ll be fine, i-it won’t be long.”
Beomgyu was sceptical, “Hyung, if you feel like a seizure is coming on we don’t mind asking them to leave.”
Since Kai was a little taller then Yeonjun he crouched down till he locked eyes with the other. “You are not obligated to do this interview. I know you want what’s best for everyone but you look like your gonna vomit any second.”
Shaking his head again, he cleared his voice, “Really I’m okay. I dont feel like having a seizure I’m just tired.” He smiled petting Kai’s hair. “Nothing a little—“
“Nothing a little sleep wont fix, yeah we know.” Soobin dragged out; receiving an airy laugh From Yeonjun. He finally stood on his own but he didn't look any better. His legs were shaking and his complexion was a few shades lighter then normal. Even when he smiled while greeting the managers and extra personnel, Soobin was sure he was lying.
After the managers introduced everyone and the members introduced their group, they set up for interviews. Soobin, Taehyun, Kai, and Beomgyu watched as Yoenjuns health deteriorated the longer the interview continued. He was still his bubbly, kind and caring self; helping the staff set up or making jokes with the interviewer. Even helping the members when they got a little too messy or when Taehyun was lost for words. But what no one else, except the team saw, was the small stumbles when he stood or tripping over his words, during questions. He had at least three absences, two of which were during their group interview. They had distracted the reporters when this happened and Yeonjun managed to correct himself, but Yeonjun’s focus was fading fast, and Soobin and the others needed to get the reporters to leave. Soobin was aware that Yeonjun said he didn't feel like he would have a seizure, but his body was telling them otherwise. It had been a little over 45 minutes before the reporter’s left thanks to Taehyun, who had managed to pull one of their managers to the side and explain the situation, — after the fact that Yeonjun finally couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed Beomgyu’s arm, who was the closest at the time, practically passing out on the spot. Thankfully he stayed somewhat conscious but that was the limit for the rest of the band. After the saying their goodbyes and the door shut behind the last journalist, a defining silence filled the room while the members finally had a moment to themselves.
Of course that didnt last long, all of them spun around as a small nasally cry called out, “Soobin?” It was weak, and the voice was trembling, but Soobin heard it and turned; they met each other’s eyes as Yeonjun stumbled towards the leader, his arm outstretched, “Soobinnie.” Yeonjuns eyes rolled, and his shaky knees gave out, sending him tumbling to the ground. Taehyun was the closest and reflexively grabbed Yeonjun’s arm, but the momentum of Yeonjun’s deadweight sent Taehyun catapulting toward the floor.
Taehyun had managed to maneuver Yeonjun above him. His shoulder smacked against the ground with a loud thump. “Ugh!”
Multiple calls echoed simultaneously, scrambling to help their two bandmates. “Shit, Taehyun! Yeonjun!” Soobin was the first to reach. If he had food in his stomach, it all would have appeared with how hard his stomach dropped. Yeonjun’s arms were stiff, and his hands were shaking near his chest. Even though he wasn’t heavy, moving someone having a seizure was risky. Though leaving him to have the attack on someone was just as dangerous. He didn't want to hurt either of them. Taehyun wrapped his arms around Yeonjun in a protective brace, but his face scrunched up in pain.
“Taehyun, you can let go. I got him,” Soobin caressed the others hand, reassuring him that everything would be fine. He huffed but did what Soobin asked.
Swiftly tilting the elder so that Taehyun could shimmy out from underneath, Soobin placed himself behind Yeonjun so he wouldn’t fully roll onto his back. Yeonjun’s heavy seizures usually lasted a couple of minutes, but this one seemed different. He wasn’t shaking like usual. Yeonjun’s arms were now locked in place with a small back and forth movement. He was making rhythmic clicking noises with his tongue while his head was turned to the side, eyes open but unseeing. He looked uncomfortable, but Soobin could only ensure he knew he was there and would stay with him.
“Junnie Hyung, I am here. You’re okay. Let’s get through this fast and go home.” Soobin whispered, “you are safe. We have you,” watching Yeonjun’s unseeing eyes as his face twisted into a grimace was uncomfortable. He wasn’t jerking as much as usual, and Soobin hoped that meant the after-effects wouldn’t be too strenuous. He was angry at himself for not stopping practice earlier or making the reporters leave sooner. He had seen the signs while dancing. The fumbling steps and minor accidents; are all uncommon for Yeonjun. Why did he take his word that Yeonjun would tell him when he didn't feel well. Of course, he wouldn’t.
His mistake.
“Taehyun, are you okay? Are you injured?” Soobin inquired, still holding Yeonjun, but scanning Taehyun for any injuries.
He shook his head but grimaced when Beomgyu helped him to stand up. “No, you are not!” Beomgyu scowled.
“Here,” Kai was holding a couple of ice packs. He must have left to find those when he noticed what had happened. Typically Yeonjun liked to use them when he came out of his seizure. Beomgyu helped remove Taehyun’s t-shirt, only to gasp as a large, gruesome bruise on Taehyun's left shoulder spread to the middle of his back. A sharp inhale from the injured boy had Kai apologize when he placed the ice pack on his back.
“Ahh, sorry, sorry, sorry, it's a nasty bruise, Hyung. Maybe we should get you checked out?” Kai stressed.
“Nothings broken. I can move; it’s just sore,” Taehyun’s voice sounded strained.
“Of course, it hurts! Are you sure nothing’s broken?” Beomgyu frowned, hands fluttering around Taehyun’s back, unsure what to do.
“Yes, I am fine,” Taehyun slapped Beomgyu’s hands away. Turning to Soobin and Yeonjun, eyes shimmering with worry. “Hyung, how’s Hyung!? Did you time it? I hope he didn't hit his head. I tried to keep him saf—”
Beomgyu gave a stern look, halting his words. “You did everything right! Junnie Hyung didn't hit his head. You kept him safe.” Beomgyu pulled Taehyun towards the couches, “now come and let's worry about if you are seriously hurt or not. Soobin Hyung is taking care of him. He is safe, I promise. Right, Hyung?…Hyung?”
Soobin was so lost in thought after seeing the massive bruise. Was Tae going to be okay? He should go to the doctor. Can they still perform? Why did this happen now? Soobin was lost in thought. He didn't hear the questions being directed at him by his members. He couldn’t feel that Yeonjun was finally — finally calming down. How long had it been? Soobin didn’t even realize he was hyperventilating because Taehyun got injured, and Yeonjun almost had another severe injury. He missed how the maknae had sent the other two to the couch. Including the fact that he was now crouching in front of Soobin, next to Yeonjuns head.
“Hyung, I know you are beating yourself up, but Yeonjun Hyung is okay. He’s stopping, look.” Soobin watched as Yeonjuns body jerked a few more times before becoming still. He casually wiped the spit from the elder’s mouth and cheek with his shirt. He was breathing slowly but deep enough that he would come too soon. “Look at me. You are the best leader. You are doing everything you need to.” Kai’s eyes held no lies. This sweet boy always had a way with words. “This was an accident and nothing more. Soobin Hyung, Junnie Hyung even called for you before he went into his seizure. He probably didn’t know it was going to be so sudden. We are all tired, and you cannot blame yourself for this.” Kai placed his hand on top of Soobins head, smiling when Soobin finally released a sigh.
It was reasonable that Yeonjun may not have been in full control of himself before it happened. Kai was right, he usually was, but Soobin wasn’t going to inflate his ego. He could see Taehyun move a little better after Beomgyu removed the ice. Both boys glanced back simultaneously, checking on the three of them. Out of anxiety or worry, Soobin wasn’t sure, maybe both.
“Thanks, Kai,” petting his arm, “you always seem calm and controlled. Unless Beomgyu is involved.” Soobin smirked. Now that Yeonjun was waking up and Taehyun seemed not to need a hospital, he felt much better.
Kai scoffed, “ugh, he has it coming!”
The mood was brighter. Within five minutes, Yeonjun had started to mumble, a sign he was coming to, “mmmm, -oobin? up-pl-ies”
With a hesitant and slow movement, he sat the elder up. Taking the towel, Kai brought to wipe the drool from his face. He was still a little out of it, head dropping every so often, but his eyes were starting to come around.
Yeonjun smacked his lips a few times with a soft whine, “I peel ick.” His skin had turned a sickly pale colour, with a tinge of green, “I’m onna be ick!’’ Yeonjun mumbled behind his hands, dry heaving.
“Trash can! Trash can!” Soobin panicked. He couldn’t move, Yeonjun could fall, but he wasn’t exactly close to the garbage to grab it. May the gods bless him because the youngest managed to snatch the pale just as Yeonjun retched.
“Ugh, hic!” Yeonjun gagged a few more times till only stomach acid burned his throat. “Mmmmm, ouch,” he whined.
“How do you feel now, Hyung?” Beomgyu, who had made his way over, asked, passing calming circles around the elder’s arm since Yeonjun had managed to lean back against Soobins chest.
“Better… sorry,” Yeonjun’s face was still an unhealthy shade of white and green, but he wasn’t slurring his words. He usually was a lot bubblier when he came out of his seizures—uncommon for most but nothing out of the ordinary for their energizer fox. Yet Soobin could tell he seemed lost. Nothing appeared to diminish the ample amount of energy the other had stored within his body. And trust, all of them knew, from experience, that he seldom ran out. So Soobin, after catching the eyes of the others, figured that something is up, and this may not be the last seizure they will see over the next couple of days.
“It’s fine, Hyung,” Soobin sighed, “We knew this was going to come. We just didn’t know when.” The boys all nodded in agreement, which made the other frown more.
When Yeonjun caught sight of Taehyun’s bruised back, he immediately tried to stand, “Oh My God! Did I do that! I am so sorry, Tae! I remember I couldn’t move my body, but I could see Soobin, so I called for him and then, Tae caught me, but after that, I blacked out. Are you okay?” Since he wasn’t entirely back to normal, the fast movement made Yoenjuns eyes roll back before his body dropped into Beomgyu’s arms.
“Hyung!” Both Soobin and Taehyun were not impressed.
Beomgyu gently placed him back on the ground. “Careful Hyung, I don’t think you are completely back yet,” Yeonjun must have been thankful because he was starting to turn a deep shade of green again. With his head tucked between his knees, his eyes remained closed. He was trying not to vomit for the 5th time.
“There is no need for an apology Hyung and maybe try standing after you regain control of your body, okay? You just had an intense seizure and are in no shape to move yet” Taehyuns voice rose an octave.
Raising his head he had a frown plastered on his face, “but, Tae.” Yeonjun started.
Soobin scoffed, “No buts, you didn't listen to any of us earlier. So now you have no choice. Practice is finished, and we have a schedule for tomorrow. We are all,” Soobin pointed to everyone with a stern look that said no one would disobey, “going home and showering. Taehyun, you and Yeonjun will take medication before anything else,” Yeonjun whined, but Soobin ignored it, “and then straight in bed. Understood?!”
Everyone nodded, and Soobin was glad because he wouldn’t be able to fight with anyone tonight.
Of course, it wouldn’t be normal without someone, specifically Beomgyu, to make a snide remark, “you are scary when you’re angry. It’s kinda hot—” he received a backhand from Yeonjun. “Oww! Hey!”
“Hands off, he is mine.” Yeonjun pouted. As soft as he looked, there was a threat behind his words. While Beomgyu liked to play around, he knew better than getting on Yeonjun’s wrong side when it came to Soobin.
Everyone laughed, branching off to pack their things. Soobin kissed Yeonjun’s hair, “are you ready to go?” Yeonjun’s pout turned into a soft smile that made his eyes disappear. He looked adorable, and Soobin could only coo at how cute their Hyung was.
“Yup, but…” he looked embarrassed?
“But what?”
Yeonjun was blushing and shifting his eyes without looking at the other. Soobin felt a pull on his pant leg so he sat down beside him. Pulling Yeonjuns face so that they looked at each other. “What is it, Hyung?” Soobin asked softly, caressing his cheeks.
“C-could you carry me? I don't think my legs are working very well now.” Soobin would have burst out laughing at how red Yeonjun’s face turned. With his lip between his teeth, he could have pulled for the group’s maknae.
“Of course, Hyung. For you, I would do anything.” Soobin giggled.
“Well, who wants to grab tteokbokki before home!” Kai clapped with a goofy grin, invading the two lovers' space, dodging a shoe aimed at his head from Beomgyu. They all laughed, and Soobin hoisted the other onto his back.
“If you vomit on me, I won't forgive you,” Soobin teased.
“Yeah, Soobinnie! I wouldn’t do that!” Yeonjun pouted, “I love you too much for that, haha.”