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Steve called, and you were on your way. Just like always. You had different codes so the other would know whether it was an emergency or not. This time it wasn’t an emergency. He was just feeling bummed, and didn’t want to be alone. So, one your way you went.
When you got to Steve’s, you let yourself in like you had so many times before. He was sprawled out of the couch on his stomach, his back rising and falling with his breathing. You knocked on the wall to announce yourself and he responded with a groan.
“How are you doing, buddy,” you asked, walking into the living room. You sat down in his dads favorite recliner, looking at the side of his head.
“Kill me,” he said, his face buried in his arms. You let out a long sigh, knowing that today was going to consist of you comforting him over his break up with Nancy. After the initial breakup, you were always at Steve’s house, listening to his cry about it, then he was angry for a little while, but somehow this was so much worse than either of those.
“You know I can’t do that,” you said, forcing a chuckle. He looked up at you, his eyes narrowing into a glare.
“Not even if I ask nicely?” You laughed and shook your head.
“Unfortunately, I don’t think that will matter when I’m inevitably charged with your murder.” He nodded and dropped his head back onto his arms. “Do you wanna talk about it?” You took a deep breath, letting it out slowly if only to prepare for his answer.
Steve grumbled something into the couch cushion, and rolled over onto his back. You sat back in the recliner and folded your hands into your lap. If you had a legal pad, you’d feel like a real physiologist. But hey, if you had made it through months of his pining for Nancy, you could make it through this one, despite your own feelings.
“I don’t know where to start,” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I mean, after last year, I don’t know, things were good, or at least alright. But, I don’t understand what changed.” He moved his hands from his hair down to his chest, drumming his fingers against his breastbone.
“I mean, yeah, I was in love with Nancy,” that one one hurt, “but she with Johnathan now, and I’m happy for her because she’s happy or whatever, but that isn’t the issue. It’s just,” he said, tilting his head back so he could look at you. When he said he was in love with Nancy, it was all you could do not to let your eyes mist up. But you smiled, stuffing your own feelings for Steve back down, pretending they didn’t exist.
“So why don’t you go after her,” you asked, balking your hands into fists. Steve just shrugged, his hand lifting off of his stomach to emphasize the gesture.
“I don’t think she likes me like that.” Then she’s stupid, you thought to yourself. Steve was perfect, sweet, and considerate. “So I guess it doesn’t matter anyway.” You felt the box you kept your feelings for Steve in burst open, and before you could stop yourself, everything you had been feeling just started coming out.
“Stop doing that,” you snapped, causing Steve to tilt his head back and look at you again. “Stop selling yourself short all the damn time! If Nancy is to dumb to see what a great catch you are, you should move on!” Steve looked at you with surprise.
“What?” You had stood up, standing in front of the couch as you lectured Steve.
“I just don’t understand why you’re so hung up on someone who doesn’t like you back! It isn’t like you don’t have options. You’re a great catch St-“
“Wait, hold on,” he interrupted, sitting up and holding a hand out towards you. But all of your feelings that you had been holding onto for months were finally coming out, and even if it wasn’t already too late to stop, it felt so good to finally get it off your chest.
“If you’re going to keep doing this to yourself, I’m not going to sit here and watch. It kills me that you're pining over someone you can’t have, and I’m sorry that it sucks, if you’d open your eyes for even half a second you’d realize that I’m perfect for you!” And suddenly, you wished you could have put your feelings away, that you hadn’t let it out. You wanted to take it back as soon as you said it.
You wanted nothing more than to have the ability to suck words back into your lungs, or to go back in time and take it back. And the look on Steve’s face made you wish for it even more. He looked confused, and hurt, and it killed you to know you had been the one to cause it.
You glanced at the door, mentally counting the steps it would take to reach it. You looked back at Steve, that confused look on his face, and before you could will yourself to stay and wait for him to say something, you were bolting to the door. You stepped out onto the driveway, running to your car.
The tears were streaming down your cheeks as you hopped into your car. You chanced a glance back as you peeled out of the driveway, not sure if you were hoping to see him or not. But regardless, he was standing at the door, still confused.
You drove home, trying and failing to wrangle your tears. Not only did you dump your metaphorical purse out on the table, you were also afraid you had just ruined your friendship with Steve.
When you pulled into your driveway, the tears came full force. You turned off your car and buried your face in your hands. You sobbed as you thought about what he must be thinking. You made a fool of yourself and then left, just left him standing there.
It took you several minutes to pull yourself back together, wiping the tears from your face. You stepped out of your car, heading into the house. You had your hand on the doorknob when you heard a car pull into the driveway. You thought, for a moment, it was your parents, but when you turned to check, Steve was stepping out of his red bmw.
“(Y/N), wait,” he called, racing towards you. He had reached you in only a few steps, his hand grabbing yours on the doorknob, holding the door closed.
“Steve, I am so sor-“ he held his hand up, stopping you from finishing your sentence.
“No, listen,” he said, keeping his hand up so you wouldn’t interrupt him, “I don’t know what that was about,” He said gesturing in the direction of his house, “and you ran off before I could say anything.”
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have said anything, can we please just forget I said anything?” You felt fresh tears spring to your eyes. If you said the right things, maybe he’d forgive you and you could both move on. “I do-“
“No,” he said, cutting you off once again. He took his hand from yours on the doorknob and shook his head. “I don’t want to forget it, (Y/N).” You blinked back your tears as you prepared yourself for him to tell you he never wanted to see you again, pulling back when he reached out to you.
“Please,” you said, your voice cracking despite trying to keep control of your emotions. Steve looked down at your hands as he grabbed them.
“(Y/N), you’re my best friend,” he said, his eyes staying on your trembling hands, “and I had no idea you felt like that. I never dreamed you’d like me too.” Your heart leaped into your throat as he spoke, and your heartbeat hammering in your ears made you sure you had just misheard him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before,” he said, finally looking back at you, his eyes glassy like he was about to start crying. “(Y/N), I,” he paused, seeming to search for the right words, his eyes locked on your face. He let go of your hands, reaching up to cup your face. Before you had time to register what was happening, his lips were pressed against yours, his arm snaking around your waist, pulling you closer to him.
You froze, confused about what was happening. Your brain jump started as you felt Steve start to pull away. You grabbed the front of his jacket, leaning into the kiss. It felt like lightning in your veins as the kiss seemed to stretch on I to eternity.
When Steve finally broke the kiss, he leaned his forehead against you, smiling and wiping tears from your face with his thumb. He moved his hands down to yours, giving them a reassuring squeeze.
“I have been in love with you since the second grade,” he chuckled, and you chuckled back, shaking your head. “When you knocked the shit out of Tommy for pushing that kid. I didn’t dream you’d feel the same.” You squeezed his hands back, shaking your head slightly.
“He deserved it,” you chuckled back, causing Steve to laugh.