Chapter Text
“Shit, there’s too much vodka, I think…”
Donghyuck tilted the bottle, watching the liquid swirl dangerously close to the rim before taking another sip.
“Seriously?” Jaemin side-eyed him, his fingers tapping a sharp rhythm on the steering wheel. “We’re late because of you, and now you’re trying to get plastered before we even get inside?”
“Relax, we still have time.”
“No, you still have time.” Jaemin jabbed at the clock on the dashboard. “I told you I’d be here at ten. But no, Mr. Fashion Show had to try on every shirt he owns. Twice.”
“It’s called style, Jaemin. You should try it sometime.” Donghyuck grinned, but Jaemin’s glare stayed fixed on the club’s neon sign flickering in the distance.
“Two-for-one ends in five minutes,” Jaemin muttered, more to himself than to Donghyuck. His jaw was tight, the way it always was when something didn’t go to plan. “God, why do I even bother?”
“Because you love me,” Donghyuck teased, holding up the bottle like a toast. “Now shut up and drink before we waste good vodka.”
“I hate you,” Jaemin said flatly, but Donghyuck catched the small smile breaking through.
Nights like this were Donghyuck’s reset button. A chance to drown the week’s stress in vodka and neon lights, to forget about professors and deadlines for a while. Even the memory of Jin Sang’s perpetual scowl started to fade.
“You know he’s got it out for me, right?” Donghyuck said, more to the air than to Jaemin.
“Who?”
“Jin Sang.”
Jaemin didn’t even look up from his watch. “Maybe because you called him ‘outdated’ in front of the whole class.”
Donghyuck snorted. “I was being honest!”
“You called his theory a waste of time.”
“Constructive,” Donghyuck said, deadpan. He leaned back in the seat, grinning to himself. Trouble or not, he wasn’t about to apologize for speaking his mind. It was part of his charm, or so he liked to think.
Donghyuck had always been unapologetically straightforward, his sharp tongue both a blessing and a curse. His mother used to call it his "golden mouth", a trait that could charm or infuriate, depending on the situation. “One day, that mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble,” she’d warn.
He never cared much for tact. If something needed to be said, Donghyuck said it, whether or not it landed him in hot water. That fearlessness was on full display the night he confronted his parents about his sexuality.
“I’m not sure if I like girls, or boys, actually.” he announced abruptly, breaking the rhythm of dinner.
His mother paused mid-bite, her eyes flickering with surprise before settling into a calm curiosity. “Okay,” she said, setting her spoon down. “What makes you think that?”
“I don’t know.” Donghyuck shrugged. “I just wanted to tell you. Figured you should know.”
His father smirked, leaning back in his chair. “So, you’ve come out before figuring out if there’s anything to come out about?”
Donghyuck grinned. “Guess so.”
His mother sighed, shaking her head. “That mouth of yours,” she muttered, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
They never made a big deal out of it, which, deep down, Donghyuck had expected. He suspected they already knew long before he did.
Years later, after a handful of awkward firsts and a few stumbles along the way, Donghyuck no longer questioned his attraction to boys. If anything, he embraced it. His golden mouth, the one his mother swore would get him in trouble, proved far more useful than she’d ever imagined. It didn’t take long for him to learn how to turn heads and make people listen. He knew what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it or demand it, if necessary.
It wasn’t arrogance; it was survival. Donghyuck refused to let anyone have the upper hand over him, especially when it came to matters of intimacy. He’d been burned once at seventeen, an experience that sharpened his resolve and his words. From then on, he made sure of one thing: his desires came first. Always.
Jaemin’s glare shifted to Donghyuck’s cup, his lips pressed into a thin line. “What the hell did you put in there?”
“Magic,” Donghyuck replied with a grin, swirling the drink before taking a sip. It burned like hell, and his face contorted despite himself.
“You’re gonna kill yourself with that,” Jaemin muttered, taking the cup when Donghyuck shoved it toward him. He sniffed it, his nose wrinkling. “What’s even in this?”
“Vodka and juice. The juice makes it fancy.”
“Fancy,” Jaemin repeated flatly before taking a hesitant sip. His face twisted in exaggerated disgust, and he shoved the cup back. “Nope. You’re on your own, Hyuckie.”
Donghyuck burst out laughing. “Lightweight,” he teased, raising the cup in mock salute before taking another swig. It was just as bad the second time, but he powered through.
“You’re insane,” Jaemin said, pulling out his phone. He scrolled idly, his thumb moving faster than Donghyuck’s brain could keep up.
“Looking for someone drunk enough to text back?” Donghyuck asked, waggling his eyebrows.
“Shut up,” Jaemin said quickly, but the faint blush on his cheeks gave him away.
Donghyuck smirked. “I’m just saying, if you need advice-”
“I don’t. And stop wiggling your eyebrows. You look like a creep.”
Donghyuck laughed, the sound bubbling up before he could stop it. He took another sip, grimacing. “God, this is disgusting.” But he drank again anyway.
“You’re hopeless,” Jaemin said, shaking his head. “How do you even drink that?”
“The stronger it is, the faster I get drunk.” Donghyuck flashed a grin, but it faded as Jaemin grabbed the cup.
“Let me make one thing clear: I’m not dragging your drunk ass out of the club,” Jaemin said, taking the bottle from him.
“You love me too much to leave me behind,” Donghyuck quipped, holding his hands up in surrender.
Jaemin rolled his eyes, handing back the cup. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
“Me? Stupid? Never.” Donghyuck grinned and took another swig, the warmth spreading through his chest as he listened to the low hum of the car radio. He knew he was getting drunk, but he was not worried. It was not his first time, and Jaemin had always been there to catch him when he fell.
The icy wind bit at their fingers as they waited in line, Donghyuck clasping Jaemin’s hands in an attempt to warm him up. It didn’t help, Jaemin was still shivering when they finally stumbled through the club’s doors, just in time to snag the 2-for-1 deal.
“Coat check first,” Jaemin yelled over the music, grabbing Donghyuck’s wrist and pulling him toward the counter.
“Fine, but I need the restroom after,” Donghyuck called back, letting Jaemin drag him along. His feet felt like they were moving on autopilot, his buzz starting to blur the edges of reality.
After depositing their coats and making a pit stop at the club’s grimy bathroom (“These toilets are disgusting,” Donghyuck muttered, wrinkling his nose), they pushed their way to the bar. Donghyuck handed Jaemin a drink ticket, standing close behind him to avoid getting jostled by the crowd.
“One rum coke, one vodka Red Bull,” Jaemin told the bartender without hesitation.
Donghyuck grinned. Jaemin knew him too well; he hadn’t even needed to ask.
As they waited for their drinks, Donghyuck scanned the room. The place was packed, familiar faces from campus blending into the throng of strangers. The bass thumped hard enough to rattle his ribs, the lights overhead pulsing like a heartbeat. He caught himself swaying to the beat, his vision blurring as the music overwhelmed his senses.
“This place is crazy tonight,” Donghyuck shouted, leaning closer to Jaemin. His friend didn’t look up from the bar, eyes fixed on the bartender pouring their drinks.
“What else is new?” Jaemin replied. Donghyuck’s grin widened. The night was just beginning.
The first time Donghyuck went clubbing, he spent more time worrying about fitting in than having fun. It didn’t help that the night ended with him slumped over Jaemin’s bathroom floor, Renjun holding back his hair like a reluctant guardian angel.
“You puked all over my shoes,” Jaemin had grumbled the next morning, stretching his sore back.
“And you didn’t even make it to the bed.” Donghyuck had laughed sheepishly, both promising to take it easier next time. They’d made a pact to avoid a repeat performance, one Donghyuck wasn’t entirely sure he’d kept.
Something cold pressed against his cheek, snapping him out of the memory.
“Here,” Jaemin said, handing him a drink.
“Thanks.” Donghyuck took the cup, moving away from the crowded bar with Jaemin close behind. Once they were clear of the throng, Donghyuck held up his cup.
“To surviving another night?” Jaemin asked with a smirk, clinking his cup against Donghyuck’s.
“Cheers,” Donghyuck said, grinning as he took a long sip. The burn of alcohol spread through his chest, and he swayed a little, already feeling the buzz.
“Take it easy,” Jaemin said, raising an eyebrow. “You’re already half gone.”
Donghyuck laughed. “Don’t worry, Mom. I just really want to dance tonight.” He placed a hand on Jaemin’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. “But I’ll be careful. Promise.”
Jaemin rolled his eyes but smiled, taking a slow sip from his own drink. “You better. I’m not carrying you out of here again.”
“Not tonight,” Donghyuck said with a grin. “You’re too old for that anyway.”
“Says the guy who almost puked on my jacket.”
Donghyuck chuckled, downing another sip. He could feel the rhythm of the bass calling to him, but he forced himself to stay grounded. Jaemin’s slow, careful sips were a reminder, he couldn’t take his friend’s responsibility for granted.
“Let’s just make it a good night,” Jaemin said, breaking into his thoughts.
“We will,” Donghyuck replied, already tapping his foot to the beat.
Donghyuck danced carefully at first, trying not to spill his drink, but the music pulled at him with every beat. When his cup was empty, he set it on a built-in table along the wall and turned to Jaemin, who was still nursing his own drink.
“Go,” Jaemin said, smiling as he caught Donghyuck’s eager expression. “I’ll join you in a bit.”
Donghyuck didn’t need to be told twice. He pressed a quick kiss to Jaemin’s cheek, earning an amused grin, before weaving through the throng of bodies. The bass thumped through his chest, and the lights pulsed in time with the music. His nerves faded as the rhythm took over, his movements slow and deliberate at first.
The alcohol helped, just enough to loosen him up but not so much that he’d need Jaemin to drag him home later. Closing his eyes, he let the music guide him, his hips swaying and arms carving shapes through the air. Sweat dripped down his temple as he pushed back his hair, feeling the heat of the crowd pressing in on him.
A group of girls nearby started cheering him on, laughing as they tried to keep up with his frantic pace. One of them called out, “You’re amazing!” Donghyuck opened his eyes, flashing her a charismatic smile without breaking his rhythm. He didn’t need words, he could feel their attention, their fascination, and he thrived on it.
From the corner of his eye, Donghyuck spotted Jaemin weaving through a group of boys, making his way toward him. The boys were staring, their expressions a mix of amusement and something else Donghyuck couldn’t be bothered to name. Let them watch. He wasn’t here for their entertainment.
“Already the center of attention?” Jaemin leaned in close, his voice warm against Donghyuck’s ear.
“Not my fault, and I don’t care,” Donghyuck said with a grin, holding up two fingers in mock surrender.
Jaemin giggled, throwing an arm around him. “Man, I adore you.”
Jaemin’s mood was noticeably brighter after just one drink, lightweight as always, but Donghyuck didn’t mind. Jaemin’s boldness on the dance floor was its own kind of thrill. As Jaemin grabbed Donghyuck’s hips and pressed against him, their movements synced effortlessly. Lips brushed against Donghyuck’s nape, and Jaemin’s hands slid lower, pulling him closer in time with the beat.
The girls from earlier were gaping now, some blushing furiously. Donghyuck caught one of their gazes and winked, laughing as she turned bright red. He didn’t care who was watching; if anything, their stares only added to the rush. With Jaemin’s chest warm against his back and the bass pounding in his veins, Donghyuck felt unstoppable.
Had Donghyuck not known Jaemin so intimately, best friends long before college, he might have suspected ulterior motives in the way Jaemin danced with him. But he knew better. Jaemin was naturally affectionate, his touches never carrying weight beyond friendship.
That hadn’t always been the case. Years ago, Donghyuck had confessed his attraction to Jaemin, and though Jaemin admitted he didn’t feel the same, things didn’t end there. They’d crossed a line, one that neither of them had been ready for.
“I just thought… you’d be the one, you know, on top,” Jaemin had said that night, his voice barely audible as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.
Donghyuck blinked, heat rising to his face. “Oh.” He scratched the back of his neck, unsure of what to say. “I kind of thought it’d be you.”
The silence stretched between them, awkward and heavy, until Jaemin sighed. “Okay, fine. I'll do it first.”
What followed was clumsy, brief, and nothing like the romanticized first time Donghyuck had imagined. The pain had been sharp and immediate, but it was Jaemin’s face that stayed with him, the way his friend couldn’t quite meet his eyes afterward. For weeks, Donghyuck carried the weight of it, replaying every moment in his head and wondering if he’d ruined everything.
It wasn’t until Jaemin rushed into his dorm one afternoon, breathless and grinning, that things began to shift. “There’s this guy,” he’d said, eyes bright with something Donghyuck hadn’t seen in a while. “In my class. I think I like him.”
Donghyuck had felt something uncoil in his chest then, something he hadn’t realized he’d been holding onto. Jaemin moved on, and slowly, so did he. They even managed to laugh about that awkward night years later, the memory softened by time and the certainty that it would never happen again.
Donghyuck vowed never to let himself be in a situation like that again. His first time might not have been perfect, but it had taught him something valuable: he didn’t need to settle. He learned to take control, not just in moments of intimacy, but in every aspect of his life. And for that, he was grateful.
And Jaemin remained hopelessly in love with the boy in his class.
Donghyuck was mid-spin when Jaemin’s grip on his hips tightened, firm, insistent. He stilled, tilting his head back to let Jaemin speak.
“Oh my god, Hyuckie!” Jaemin hissed in his ear, his voice pitched high enough to send alarm bells through Donghyuck’s chest. Before he could ask, Jaemin repeated, “Oh my god, oh my god…”
“What’s going on?” Donghyuck asked, frustration bubbling in his tone. He tried to turn around, but Jaemin’s hands clamped down, holding him in place.
“Don’t move!” Jaemin snapped, his voice cracking as he ducked behind Donghyuck’s head.
Donghyuck stayed still, narrowing his eyes and scanning the dance floor. The strobe lights flashed, making it hard to focus, but he followed Jaemin’s gaze from moments earlier. And then he spotted him.
“Jeno’s here?!” Donghyuck exclaimed, laughing as Jaemin groaned behind him. “Now’s your chance, Jaemin. Go talk to him!”
Jaemin didn’t respond. When Donghyuck finally broke free of his grip and turned around, he found his friend staring at the floor, cheeks flushed and shoulders hunched. With a sigh, Donghyuck cupped Jaemin’s face, gently lifting it.
“Listen to me,” he said, locking eyes with his friend. “Just go say hi. Talk about college. Talk about... I don’t know, the weather. Jeno loves hearing you talk, remember?”
Jaemin opened his mouth to protest, but before he could speak, a voice rang out from behind.
“Hey, Jaemin! What’s up, Donghyuck?”
Crap. Donghyuck didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. He could feel Jaemin vibrating with panic next to him. Slowly, he released his friend and turned to greet Jeno with a sugary smile.
“Jeno! Hey! We didn’t even see you there!” Donghyuck chirped, his tone unnaturally bright. “What a surprise!”
Jeno grinned. “Yeah, I wasn’t planning to come out, but my friends dragged me here. Speaking of, I’ve already lost them. I was about to grab a drink, want to join me?”
Donghyuck's smile didn’t falter, but he could see Jaemin shrinking next to him. Without missing a beat, he clapped a hand on his friend’s back. “Actually, I was just heading to the bathroom. You two go ahead, I’ll catch up in a minute.”
“Great!” Jeno said cheerfully, but Donghyuck didn’t miss the way his fingers twitched at his sides, like he was nervous too. When he reached out to take Jaemin’s hand, Donghyuck's grin widened.
As they disappeared into the crowd, Donghyuck lingered, watching them weave through the throng of bodies. Jeno kept glancing back, guiding Jaemin carefully with their hands clasped together. Donghyuck smirked, tempted to snap a photo for Renjun, but he knew Jaemin would kill him. Instead, he tucked the moment away, committing every detail to memory.
The music drowned out the world around him as Donghyuck lost himself in the rhythm. But the spell broke when a pair of hands grabbed his hips, too rough, too forceful. Before he could turn around, a body pressed against his back, the stranger’s grip tightening as they ground against him.
Donghyuck jerked away, twisting free and spinning to face the culprit. His heart pounded, and his skin burned where the stranger had touched him. The man was unfamiliar, his face slack with drunkenness.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Donghyuck shouted, his voice sharp enough to cut through the music. He stumbled back, putting space between them.
The guy sneered, swaying on his feet. “What’s your problem?” he slurred, his words dripping with entitlement. “I saw you grinding on that other dude. You wouldn’t dance like that if you didn’t want it.”
Donghyuck's stomach churned as the man leaned in, his sour breath brushing Donghyuck's cheek. Without thinking, Donghyuck shoved him hard, sending the guy stumbling back into a nearby group. “Gross,” Donghyuck muttered, his lip curling in disgust.
The man didn’t try to follow, too drunk to regain his balance. Donghyuck didn’t wait to see what would happen next. He turned and pushed through the crowd, his steps quick and unsteady.
“Sorry,” he mumbled as he bumped into someone, not bothering to look back. The flashing lights and pounding bass were disorienting, but he kept moving, weaving through the crush of bodies until he found a quiet corner near the edge of the club.
He leaned against the wall, his chest heaving as he tried to collect himself. The man’s words replayed in his mind, each one tightening the knot of frustration in his chest. Why did this always happen? Why couldn’t he just have fun without someone crossing the line? He didn’t mind strangers approaching him, hell, he even enjoyed meeting new people, but the moment someone touched him like that, it felt like his skin was on fire.
Donghyuck wiped a hand down his face, exhaling sharply. He wasn’t going to let this ruin his night. But for now, he needed a moment to breathe.
Donghyuck's vision blurred as the alcohol hit him harder. The tap on his shoulder felt like an alarm, cutting through the haze. Without thinking, he spun, grabbed the stranger by the collar, and slammed them against the wall.
“I don’t want anything! Don’t touch me again!” he shouted, his voice sharp enough to make nearby heads turn.
The stranger let out a startled whimper, and for the first time, Donghyuck really looked at him. Sharp cheekbones, wide, terrified eyes, and absolutely unfamiliar. Definitely not the creep from earlier.
“Oh, shit,” Donghyuck muttered, letting go and stumbling back. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
The guy rubbed his chest, catching his breath. “Damn, I should be asking you the same thing,” he said, chuckling.
Donghyuck blinked. “You’re joking, right? I just pinned you to a wall.”
“Yeah, but at least you’ve got good reflexes,” the guy replied, his lips curling into a lopsided smile.
Donghyuck stared, his gaze following the curve of the guy’s nose down to his lips. He noticed the tension in his neck and the way sweat glistened under the flashing lights. When the guy bit his bottom lip nervously, Donghyuck's stomach flipped.
The stranger cleared his throat, pulling Donghyuck from his trance. “Um... you okay? I saw what happened out there,” he said, his voice softer now.
“Yeah,” Donghyuck replied, leaning against the wall beside him. Their shoulders brushed, and he felt the warmth through his sleeve. “Thanks for checking, though.”
The guy nodded, fidgeting with his hands. After a moment, he clasped them together, interlacing his fingers like he was trying to stop himself from moving.
“If you want, I can leave you alone,” he offered hesitantly.
Donghyuck raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching into a smirk. “Did you follow me?” he asked, his tone playful but sharp.
“I-” The guy faltered, his face reddening.
“Do you know me?” Donghyuck teased, watching as the guy’s hands fidgeted more and his eyes widened. He bit his lip again, and Donghyuck thought, God, I’m an idiot for finding this attractive.
The guy sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, fine. Fuck this,” he muttered under his breath. “My friends dared me to talk to you. Something about ‘finally growing a spine.’ I wasn’t gonna do it, but then that guy showed up, and, fuck, I don’t even know what I’m saying. I’m just drunk, okay?”
Donghyuck snorted, holding up both hands as if surrendering. “Whoa, slow down,” he interrupted, his grin widening. He tilted his head, watching the guy fidget with his hands and stumble over his words. “Okay, breathe. Start from the top, but maybe at half-speed this time,” Donghyuck said, his tone playful but coaxing.
The boy blinked at him, his face flushing even redder. He opened his mouth, closed it again, then let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry,” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “I ramble when I’m... I mean, I don’t usually- ugh, this is so embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing?” Donghyuck quirked an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “Trust me, you’re doing fine. Better than most.”
“That’s not a high bar,” he muttered, his lips twitching into a faint smile despite himself.
Donghyuck tilted his head, studying him. “What’s your name?”
“Mark. Mark Lee.”
He hadn’t expected this stranger, Mark, apparently, to be so endearing. “Mark, huh?” he said, testing the name on his tongue. “Suits you. What are you drinking tonight?”
Mark blinked again, clearly not expecting the question. “Uh, tequila, I think? Why?”
“Good choice,” Donghyuck said with a grin. “You wanna take a shot? My treat.”
Mark hesitated, his wide eyes searching Donghyuck's face for a moment before he nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”
“Cool,” Donghyuck said, stepping away from the wall and motioning for Mark to follow him. “Let’s start over. No more wall-slamming, I promise.” He flashed a grin over his shoulder, and for the first time, Mark laughed.