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Trent knew it was his fault. He sat in his hotel room and he knew it was his fault that they lost this final game of the season. THE Final none the less. Liverpool lost the Championship League and it is his fault. And with everyone telling him after the game that it wasn’t, the fact just sank deeper into his head. He shouldn’t have focused on Benzema alone with that Vinicinus lad behind him.
Trent let himself fall back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The sad faces of his team mates kept creeping into his head. And with every face his chest tightened. Virgil buried in his shirt, Milly’s empty look as he applauded their fans, Hendo trying to piece back together Diego and of course Robbo. Robbo…
He couldn’t breathe anymore, his lung so tight now and when he tried to, a sob escaped him. And then another one. Trent couldn’t help himself, he started crying. The tention in his chest weakened with every sob as he allowed himself to break down. All the disappointment in himself had to come out, the feeling of letting everyone down, his mates, the club, the fans, the people of Europe who weren’t keen on Real Madrid and most of all Robbo. Well, Robbo did count as a mate, best mate nevertheless, but he also was so much more than that.
Trent tried to calm down his breathing and it worked to his suprise. And as he calmed down, appreciating the air filling his lung fully, his tears subsided. just as he decided to get up and have a shower, the one after the game seemed ages ago, he heard a knock on the door.
„Trentski bro, it’s me“, a voice very much familiar reached his ear. Robbo. He contemplated pretending to be asleep or not hear him, when:
„Open up, I know you are awake you idiot. And your headphones don’t noise cancel for shite.“ A grin crept on his lips. He knew him too well. So Trent went and opened the door.
„Trent.“ Andy Robertson stood before him, wearing adidas slippers, black shorts and a team hoodie. And before Trent could say anything he was embraced in a tight hug by the Scot. After only milliseconds of bewilderment Trent hugged him right back. It felt undescribable good to be held by the older one.
„Let me close the door okay?“ Andrew loosened his grip a bit but always kept one hand on Trent’s shoulder as he stepped into the room and did as he said. Turning back to him he looked straight into the younger ones eyes.
„I am going to ask you something now. And don’t answer some bullshit, you know I mean it.“ The seriousness in Andy’s face made Trent nervous and he nodded.
„Do you honestly think this loss is your fault?“ Andy’s voice was soft, not accusatory but it made Trent feel as if he was stupid. At the same moment everything about his friend made him feel at ease. His genuin interest made it easy to answer.
„Yes. I didn’t see him, I focused on Benzema and then…“ Before he could finish he was burried in another hug and again, he returned it quite immediately.
„For such a smart boy you are quite an idiot sometimes.“ Andrew said calmly, still not letting go. „I’m going to say this only once, so listen closely. You are not responsible for this. For none of this. You played a brilliant game my friend. We all did. You stayed glued to Benzema in that moment and that was perfectly alright. The only reason we lost was Courtouis being their goalkeeper. And sheer dumb luck on their behalf. And I fecking won’t allow it that you blame yourself for nothing. I mean, of course you are allowed to be sad, to cry, we lost the Champions League. But it is not your fault.“ With the last words Andy had moved back a bit and looked Trent in the eyes. „Do you understand me?“
Trent nodded slowly, not being too sure, but everything that he had said seemed to make sense. To be frank he would have said yes to everything that the Scot would have told him in this moment. Their faces were so close, Trent could feel Andy’s breath on his face and the older ones eyes still watched him.
„I… maybe you are right. It’s just hard to realise that it is over now for this season.“ Trent had to focus on something else than Robbos face and he turned his eyes to the floor.
„That’s why I am here. And you know I won’t let you alone this night. Don’t want you to have stupid thoughts again.“ Robbo smiled and let him go. „So what are we doing now?“
„Care for some movie?“ Trent suggested.
„Sounds good.“ And so they sat down on the bed next to each other, leaning against the wall and decided to watch Avengers. For the first time that evening Trent felt okay. It was a shit situation but he was okay. As long as Robbo was by his side he couldn’t imagine not being okay.
„Trent? Can I lean against you?“ Robbo suddenly asked.
„Sure!“ So Andy’s head sank against Trent’s right shoulder and in an instinct he put his arm around Andy. „You getting tired old man?“
„Pf, I am in my prime while you, young man, are a baby. And you know that.“
„I am 23, I am not a baby!“ Trent laughed. „Harvs is a baby.“
„Okay, Harvey might be a baby. But you are my baby and you can’t change that.“ Trent’s heart stumbled before it started beating quite fast. Did Robbo just really say that? Something warm stirred inside Trent. He decided not to answer. A few minutes later he felt the older one turn towards him, still in his arm, and placed his right arm on Trent’s upper body half.
„You alright?“
„I want to hold you before you start to think again.“ Andy said, sounding nearly asleep.
„I think you want a cuddle.“ Trent grinned and ruffled Andy’s hair with his free hand.
„Hmpf. I am going to sleep now.“ Was all he got as an answer.
Trent smiled even more and at that moment he had forgotten what the evening was all about. His life at that moment was just for cuddling Robbo whose breaths got shallower as he drifted off to sleep.
„I will always be yours old man. Even if you call me baby.“ Trent whispered and before he could help himself he pressed his lips onto Robbos forehead. Only lightly but the contact made his lips tingle and the warm feeling in his stomach expanded. He turned of the TV as he was getting tired too. He was concentrating on the slow and constant breathing coming from Robbo and before he could think a bit more, he was asleep.
Light coming in from the open curtains woke Trent the next morning long before he set his alarm. But the time was the least of his concerns. As he opened his eyes, he realised that during the night Andy and him had glid down the wall onto the bed, where they now lay, facing each other with open eyes.
„Morning“ croaked Trent, as he tried getting over the fact that waking up and seeing Robbo next to him was what his dreams were made of.
„Morning“ returned Andy. „Do you know how adorable you are when you sleep?“ Trent was taken aback, but not as much as Andy did himself as it seemed. The older ones eyes widened and he stared at Trent.
„Well, I am always adorable, thank you very much.“ Trent tried to reply as calmly as he could.
„I didn’t mean to say that. Well I did it nevertheless didn’t I?“ The Scot seemed to be taking more to himself than to his bed partner. „But yes Trent, you are always adorable.“ The seriousness in the elders voice confuses him. Normally he would have made fun of him, wouldn’t he?
„Um, thanks?“ Andy had turned away from him and now looked at the ceiling. He seemed to be thinking about something. „Robbo are you okay?“
„I actually don’t know. I think I need to talk to you before we each go on international duty.“
„Okay. That sound ominous. But I think now would be the best time. I’m off tuesday.“ Trent was getting nervous now. Did Andy know about his feelings and wanted to cut him off now?
„Trent. I don’t know how to start but…“ Andy sighed. „You are one of the best people I know. You are a great football player, but you are also incredibly funny, nice, loyal and of course stupid.“ He shot him a grin, Trent wasn’t able to register that. He was utterly bewildered about what was going on.
„You are one of my best mates ever since we play football together and in the last few months I kinda started realising something.“ Robbo now faced him again, still lying down on his back. „Trentski, I fell in love with you. And I thought you should know. If you want me gone, I get it, but I had to tell you! I don’t want you to feel stupidly obliged to stay my friend, because if it is too weird…“ he broke the sentence of, as Trent had reached out one hand and placed it on Robbos cheek.
„Robbo… I … what is it you want?“ Trent was overwhelmed. His body felt on fire, the uncertainty in the Scott’s eyes still unnerving him, while a feeling of happiness overcame him.
„Well there are three ways I could arrange myself with. Option one: You don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore and we can ignore each other without it getting ugly. Two: You don’t care and we stay friends and I’ll get over you. And well, three is that you like me too and will ride into sunset with me.“ The lopsided smile was all that Trent needed before he moved even closer to Andy, his hand wandering into the short hair. Their faces were nearly inches apart, Trent couldn’t believe what was going on and that he had the courage to do what he was about to do.
„I think I would like option three the best“ he nearly whispered before he leaned down onto Andrew, whose eyes were fluttering shut.
The moment their lips touched everything fell into place inside Trent. This was where he belonged. Robbos arms, kissing him, not thinking about that damn Vinicinus boy.
„Trent… I…. You mean it?“ the otherwise so confident man seemed to struggle with realising everything that happened, as their lips parted for a few seconds.
„I am your baby after all.“ Trent smiled. Andy startes laughing.
„And I won’t ever let you go.“ The Scotsman mumbled against his lips as he pulled him close again.
The boys were late for breakfast and nobody understood the happiness they radiated. As everyone arrived back in Liverpool for the parade and cheered up a lot meeting the celebrating fans, Trent couldn’t stop smiling at his -now quite drunk- Robbo. „One kiss“ suddenly had quite a different meaning and Trent couldn’t wait for all the possibilities he and Andy had before them now.