Chapter Text
When Spock was growing up his father liked to quote Surak, “The only noble desire is the desire to serve others."
Of course, when Sarek said this, the “others” intended had been Vulcans, raising his son to further his people’s society through joining the VSA. Nonetheless, this parable stayed with Spock and he found it a common refrain in his time spent within Starfleet.
Spock had never intended to join Starfleet. He was convinced his sense of discontent, of ostracization from Vulcan society, would be concluded upon his acceptance into the VSA. That he would simply need to provide evidence for his potential contribution and the divide between him and his peers would be removed.
“It is truly remarkable Spock that you have achieved so much despite your disadvantage”
It was at that moment that he realized his assumption had been incorrect, that due to his hybrid status he would never truly belong on Vulcan. And so he looked to Starfleet.
Spock did not feel lonely. He had found companionship within Starfleet and on the Enterprise. Captain Pike was a wonderful mentor and they had grown close through the years. Within lieutenant Uhura, he had developed a close, lifelong friend and found great solace in their talks together. Despite the common occurrence of annoyance he experienced within his presence, Spock was even beginning to feel the start of a bond of friendship with the ship’s doctor, Leonard McCoy.
Regardless of this, when he was all alone, Spock still felt a yearning to belong. There was an emptiness within his mind where there should be a bond, another mind tied to his. As a child, his father had wished for him to follow the Vulcan tradition of a childhood engagement bond. His mother vehemently refused. Despite his father's misgivings, he was wholly untrained at turning Amanda down and no contract was formed. At the time Spock was grateful, the idea of being permanently tied to one of the children that mocked him was not a pleasant one. Now he was not so sure.
While he was aware of the impending deadline that would be pon farr, he found he had no romantic or sexual attraction to any of the crew, and felt it illogical to try to attempt to sponsor those feelings in a relationship that if failed, could be to the detriment to the delicate dynamic of the Enterprise.
Regardless of all of the time he dedicated to mental disciplines and meditation, he shamefully longed to be whole. To no longer be alone. While the stars called to him and provided a sense of belonging Spock could never find planetside, its vastness at times left him feeling empty. Spock found himself experiencing a sensation unpleasantly similar to the helplessness of zero G. The entirety of the universe in front of him was suddenly daunting. He had no frame of reference, nothing to hold onto. Untethered. It’s unexplored chaos pulling him with grabbing hands leaving a dropping sensation in his gut.
Kadiith. What is, is.
Refocusing on the PADD clutch in his hands, he heard the doors of the Bridge swish open.
“Captain on ze bridge!” Ensign Chekov announced.
Behind him, Captain Pike approached the science station. Spock set down the research he was currently analyzing and turned to meet him and raised one, annoyed eyebrow at seeing the captain’s mischievous smirk.
“Now would be a wonderful time to remind me of how honored you feel to be serving aboard my Enterprise, commander.”
Ah. Pike must have significant news that Spock would find enticing if past observations were to stand correct. Typically when the Captain entertained this teasing behavior it was in one of three circumstances- to dissuade tensions in times of high stress, before asking Spock to do something in addition to his assigned workload, or before announcing to Spock things Pike referred to as “gifts”. As the crew was in a relaxed disposition and the captain did not display signs of anxiousness, it was easy to deduce Pike was aware of something he believed would interest Spock.
Past evidence dictated the most efficient response was to, as his human peers said, “play along”.
“Captain, despite my tenure on this ship and under your command I have yet to find my understanding of logic untested by you and your crew.”
Pike’s smirk turned into a cheeky grin, “Aw, I knew you loved us, Spock”. He handed Spock a PADD and gave him a quick slap on the back as he passed, causing him to stiffen and lieutenant Uhura next to him to stifle a giggle.
Spock analyzed the PADD, flipping through the information for a cursory examination. What he read caused both eyebrows to lift in interest.
“Good news everyone! Starfleet has approved our request and has ordered us to investigate the black hole our sensors picked up.”
Enticing news indeed.
Pike walked up to the captain's chair and sat with his usual relaxed posture. “Bad news, of course, is how close our research will take us to the neutral zone. So everyone will need to be on their best behavior, alright kiddos?”
The first potential reason for Pike’s teasing, to diffuse stress. The crew always responded well to this despite its illogical nature. Spock saw its effect in action now, the anxiety of being close to the Klingon threat becoming a tool to sharpen focus rather than cause discord.
“Alright Mr. Sulu, take us out. Warp 5.”
“Aye, captain. Warp 5.”
*****
“Lieutenant Uhura,” Pike spoke out from his place in the captain’s chair, “Notify Starfleet, we’re going to attempt to analyze the black hole to gather intel.”
“Aye, aye, sir.”
Pike swived to face the science station.“Distance from black hole Spock?”
“100,000 kilometers, sir”
“Good. Impulse power only Mr. Sulu.”
Spock turned to look out the viewing window. The black hole coming into view was a remarkable sight. A display of enormous, space-bending gravity, swirling of colorful debris and dust as it consumes everything within its pull. Not even light escaped its hunger.
The crew seemed equally mesmerized by the sight. The only sound on the bridge is the beeping and humming of the instruments. It was moments like these that made any Starfleet commission worth the struggle met in the vacuum of space.
After a moment of calm movement, the Enterprise suddenly lurched and the lights began to flicker from a powerful surge. Spock gripped his station in time to remain steady, an ensign to his right not as lucky was scrambling to get up off the floor.
“Yellow alert,” Captain Pike announced smoothly, “divert energy to the stabilizers and forward thrusters. Don’t want to get too close to that thing.” He looked over his shoulder. “Mr. Spock, analysis of that last burst of energy before we started losing control of the ship?”
Spock looked up from his analysis of the readings on his panel. “That surge was the turbulence caused by the penetration of a boundary layer, captain.”
“What boundary layer?” Pike asked incredulously.
“Unknown captain, however, I suspect that the black hole is producing a unique energy output that is causing an interference with the Enterprise. It seems to be a zone of energy that is incompatible with our mechanical processes. I do not recommend navigating the ship any closer to the black hole.”
Captain Pike sighed and leaned back into his chair. “An unfortunate situation Mr.Spock. Any luck with the ship's sensors?”
Spock clasped his hands behind his back. “Negative Captain, we are too far out of range.”
“Considering our orders to investigate,” Captain Pike asked from the center of the bridge with a spark of playfulness in his voice, “it is a good thing I have the best crew. Options?”
Chekov was the first to speak up. “Reccomend ve send a probe sir.”
Pike seemed to take time to ponder the suggestion. Undoubtedly to encourage the young crew member Spock thought, as this was the obvious first course of action. “Good recommendation. Prepare to launch a probe, Mr. Chekov.”
“Aye sir, Probe ready for launch sir.”
Pike lifted his hand in a signal. “Launch.”
“Probe will impact in 7.3 seconds,” Sulu announced from his station. Spock felt the crew grow tense as the seconds passed.“Impact. Data is being relayed to Mr. Spock”
Spock’s eyes scanned the readouts being fed to his station.“Readings coming in now, Captain.” His brow furrowed. Many of these results were most… illogical. “Sir… readings are confused. It would be safe to assume the energy and magnetic output from the black hole are altering and corrupting the data output.”
“Damn, we have to get a closer look at it. Any other ideas?”
This time it was Sulu who spoke up. “Maybe we could send out the shuttlecraft? With shields up, it should be able to get close enough to perform the scan and return. We can even divert energy from the nav to make sure the boosters can return it without a problem.”
This time Captain Pike truly did seem to think the idea over. After a pause, he turned to the chief engineer on the bridge. “Scotty?”
“Aye captain, that would be doable.” Scotty crossed his arms and shrugged. “It would take quite a bit of power to ensure the shuttle doesn’t get taken by the gravitational pull. I would have to divert the energy from some life support functions as well. But as long as we send as few men as possible and it returns quickly we should have no trouble.” He nodded confidently. “I could have the Galileo ready in thirty minutes.”
“When you say as few men as possible Scotty, how many do you mean?” Pike asked.
“I donnae think she could safely handle more than one person. Any more than that and I fear the oxygen demand will be too serious to allow for any real-time out there.”
Spock watched as captain Pike crossed his arms. His knee began to bounce up and down with what must be residual anxiousness from the decision. Any one-man mission posed some risk. Pike was a sentimental Captain and tended to take a protective stance on any member of his crew. It was one of the things Spock admired about his leadership style, his loyalty to his men. However, at this moment Spock was urging his Captain to sway towards the more logical option. The potential learnings from this phenomenon far outweigh the statistically insignificant risk this journey would place on a single crew member. After a moment Pike looked up.
“Make it happen, Scotty.”
“Aye Captain.” Scotty smiled and quipped back, quickly turning and leaving the bridge.
Pike sighed and dragged a hand down his face. “Now the question is, who do we send? I would volunteer myself however I am not a science specialist.”
Spock’s hands gripped each other tightly behind his back. “Captain I would like to posit that I am most qualified and therefore the ideal choice to send in the Galileo to gather the information we require.”
Pike looked unconvinced. “Are you sure Spock? Despite the low risk involved, it is still an unstudied phenomenon. I can’t take any chance at losing you.”
Spock felt the illogical desire to release a sharp breath in frustration. Science and discovery were Spock’s true passions. His drive and desire were to learn the unknown. It was why he took this assignment from the very beginning. To him, there was no question as to whether or not he was willing to take any risk. “Yes, Captain. The risk involved is minimal and I am sure lieutenant Uhura will stay in contact with me the entire time.”
“Fine.” Pike clapped his hands together and Spock felt budding excitement within him that he quickly ceased and tapered down with a deep breath. “Let’s do it. Get ready and report to the shuttle bay.”
Spock nodded succinctly.“Yes, Captain.”
***
After visiting his quarters to change into a sturdier and therefore warmer regulation uniform, Spock made his way to the shuttle bay. He suspected that the decrease of life support on the Galileo would result in a cooler environment and he did not want to risk his performance decreasing as his Vulcan temperament tried to maintain a healthy core temperature. As he paced down the corridor he heard the pneumatic doors of the med bay whir open.
“Wait!” He heard doctor McCoy shout after him. “Goddamit man, slow down!”
Spock stopped in place and turned around at attention to face the Enterprise’s CMO. “My apologies doctor, I was not aware of your attempt to match my walking pace.’
The doctor scowled as he fumbled with the hypo in his hands. “Christ, are you trying to be funny?”
“It would never occur to me, Doctor.”
McCoy grunted in response and Spock heard a click as the doctor primed the hypo. “Stick your arm out. With Scotty decreasing life support I’m not taking any chances. Triox and generalized stimulant and steroid combo. The last thing I need is Pike on my ass because his favorite science officer came back loopy from carbon monoxide poisoning.”
Spock felt a sharp prick and a hiss as the serum defused in his neck. “Doctor, one could almost ascertain that you are expressing concern for my well-being.”
“Shut up Spock.” The doctor grumbled over his shoulder at him as he moved to return to the med bay. “Get on the damn shuttle.”
Spock simply raised his eyebrow in response and resumed his path to enter the shuttle bay. Walking up to the Galileo he could see engineers hurrying past, carrying PADDs and supplies. As he approached the open door he saw the chief engineer standing up and brushing off his hands.
“Is the Galileo ready Mr. Scott?”
“Aye commander, as she’ll ever be.” Mr. Scott straightened in pride and moved off the ship, gesturing for Spock to board. “Do your best to conserve fuel. I’ve hadta redirect energy the best I could to prioritize the instruments and thrusters but spend too long or fiddle with her too much and you’ll only be putting yourself at risk.”
“I will endeavor to be efficient as well as thorough in my analysis Mr. Scott.”
Scotty smirks as he nods in approval. “You do just that. Good luck Spock.”
The shuttle door closed behind him and Spock was alone on the ship. He sat in the pilot’s chair and gives a cursory glance around. Scotty had indeed done a good job in the short amount of time given to him. He could see that lining the cargo compartment stood the computer and scientific instruments he would need to perform his analysis of the black hole phenomenon. Not only that, but the engineer had removed the additional seats and equipment on the shuttle, undeniably to help lessen the load and further ensure Spock’s success of return. Spinning around at the helm Spock fired up the engine.
“Permission to disembark captain.”
The speaker sputtered to life and he heard Pike's voice clear throughout the cabin. “Permission granted. Take her out Mr. Spock.”
The shuttle hummed as he gripped the steering and the shuttle slowly lifted and navigated out towards the bay doors.
“Commander, stay in touch the entire time. The minute it seems at all risky you are ordered to return immediately. As a precaution, Mr. Sulu will keep ready on the tractor beam. No discovery is worth risking your health or losing you to the pull of the black hole- understood?”
Spock disagreed. “Understood Captain.”
The shuttle pulled away from the enterprise and Spock guided it closer to the black hole. He felt the ship shudder slightly as it grew closer to the phenomena’s gravitational pull. After growing close enough to the energy field Spock flipped the switch activating the autopilot anchor to remain in place. He rose to activate the instruments and watched as the data fed into the computer.
“Shuttlecraft to Enterprise.”
He heard lieutenant Ururha over the channel.“Come in, Spock.”
“All readings consistent with measured averages for a black hole of this size. Strange energy reading persisting.”
His eyebrows rose as suddenly, as the readings began to come clear. “Captain it appears as though the energy wave outputs may be a side effect of a dying pulsar currently being consumed by the black hole. I will continue to gather data.” An intriguing opportunity for discovery, indeed.
“When do you estimate the readings will be finished?” He heard Captain Pike over the channel.
Spock turned to the helm to begin the sequence to send the data over to the Enterprise. Already his mind was working with the potential these findings may have for Starfleet’s current understanding of black holes. “Readings should be complete in five minutes sir.”
“Good, that’ll give him plenty of energy left to pull away from the field.” He heard the engineer shout at a distance away from the intercom. Undoubtedly Mr. Scott’s elbows were deep in another project already. A faint crash and cursing were coming from the speaker.
Pike’s light laughter rang through the shuttle. “Hear that Mr. Spock? Sounds like you’re doing better than Mr. Scott. You’re making a great time. Don’t take any risks and return to us as-”
The transmission cut out in a garble of interference and static. Spock’s eyebrows furrowed together.
“Captain? Lieutenant Uhura, I am losing contact.”
There was no response but static.
“Spock to Enterprise.”
Immediately Spock moved away from the helm to the instruments behind him. Checking the computer Spock’s hands moved as fast as they could across the keyboard.
A massive energy wave was incoming, four times the size of the one that shook the Enterprise. Feeling a wave of adrenaline Spock rediverted Galileo’s energy away from the scientific instruments to the forward shield. There was no time to navigate back to the Enterprise even with Sulu prepared to pull the shuttle in with the tractor beam. In approximately 4.7 seconds the impulse would reach him and make an impact with the shuttle. If he had any chance of survival this was it. He lunged over to the helm and strapped himself in, his heart pounding as he braced for impact.
This will have to do. He could only hope the impulse would send him towards the Enterprise or at least within the pull of the black hole. The implication of breaching the neutral zone is the worst possibility.
It is as the wave of energy hits the shuttle and Spock is thrust forward with the inertia he remembers the other teaching of Surak that his father used to tell him.
“There is nothing to gain from haste but error.”
He had diverted the energy away from the shuttle's tracker. The Enterprise would have no way to find where he would end up.
That realization is the last thing that Spock remembers as his head makes contact with the instrument panel and everything goes dark.
***
When Spock came to, it was fleetingly. His ears rang and he felt a searing pain in his left leg. He smelt smoke and soon awareness was slipping away again.
Gaining consciousness for a second time the heat was much worse and Spock fought the need to cough, choking on the heavy smoke. There was a bitter, toxic scent of what must be a gas leak and an undeniable electrical fire. Spock struggled to draw in a breath and keep conscious. On his face, he felt the burning heat of flames. A harsh groaning sound came from above him, then a clatter the inner hull began to collapse around him.
He forced his eyes open. The first thing he noticed was the red pulsing light. The alert had been activated. Pushing his arms out his fingers curled into the floor paneling as he tried to drag himself forward. He gasped at the sharp pain radiating from his leg and turned to look over his shoulder. The science instrument panel had fallen onto him. Assessing the situation he knew his leg had been broken. His tibia was crushed and his ankle was most likely fractured. There would be no walking away it seemed. Even if he had escaped injury, the panel would be too heavy to lift off of his lower body.
A wave of pressure burst behind his skull and he heard a long moan of pain. He recognized belatedly that it must be him.
Suddenly the shuttle lurched and a blue light shone through the viewport. Relief flooded his system as he realized the ship must be held in a tractor beam.
When I board I must express my gratitude to Mr. Sulu for his perceptive thinking.
Sight began to fade as he fought to remain conscious.
After what must be some time, he heard the door of the Galileo be forced open, the vibration of boots against metal. Voices shouting words he did not recognize, harsh and guttural. The weight on his leg was suddenly removed and he shouted in pain. Hands were roughly grabbing him, lifting him from the floor. Spock’s head rolled over and his eyes peeled open, catching his first look at his rescuers. A hard face with ridges lining their forehead.
Klingons. The wave must have blasted the shuttle into the neutral zone and I have been captured by Klingons.
Suddenly he felt himself grow weak, the voices dwindling and receding away as it all faded to black.
***
“...ayment must be made for the violation of the neutral zone. We will not return our prisoner until Starfleet has made reparations for its act of war.”
Spock blinked to awareness as he is shoved to his knees. The pain in his leg screamed out from the treatment and an ache in his shoulders and tension in his wrists told him his arms were bound behind him.
His eyes focused on the viewscreen in front of him. The bridge of the Enterprise looked back. Lieutenant Uhura's hand flew to her mouth and she turned away. The crew all had matching dark looks on their faces. Captain Pike himself had a face Spock did not think he had ever seen him wear. His eyes were stony and his jaw was clenched. Spock could see a vein popping in his hand as the captain gripped the arm of his chair.
Pike's voice was cold as he responded, “Forgive me for being hesitant in trusting you, captain. Klingons are notorious in the federation for their hostage policy.”
Meaning they always execute them. Spock’s mind provides unhelpfully.
At that, Spock heard the whirr of pneumatic doors opening up behind him and saw the bridge crew that was working in front of the display screen stiffen. The large Klingon who had been speaking to Pike snapped to attention and gave a firm Vulcan salute. Spock forced his eyes to stay on the display of the Enterprise bridge, swaying slightly with fatigue and blinking hard to encourage his eyes to stay open.
He heard sure steps approach and the soft thump of a body settling into what must be the captain's chair behind him. “You are correct captain Pike, Klingons do not take hostages. You are wrong in one aspect, however. Checkash is not the Captain.” There was a brief pause and Spock heard the creaking of leather as the speaker shifted into a more comfortable position. “I am.”
Anyone else watching the screen would see no change in the cold confidence in the Enterprises captain’s facade, but through his years in close partnership with Pike, Spock had learned to pick up on his micro-expressions. Pike seemed to pale and his eyes widened slightly in surprise. In front of him, he could see ensign Chekovs mouth drop open in plain shock. Spock swallowed down the nausea building in his throat, his head pounding
“My name is Captain Kirk of the Klingon Empire, and I am looking forward to seeing how you grovel for your Vulcan pet.”
After a short pause, Spock heard the warbird captain snap and bark a demand in guttural Klingon. “End transmission”
It is only as the faces of the enterprise bridge crew are blinking away off-screen does Spock realize just how dire his situation is. Captured in the neutral zone by a Klingon Captian, Spock would have approximately a 96.4 percent chance of failure to escape and rejoin the Enterprise. However, his body was suffering the effects of the blast that had hit the Galileo. The dull throbbing at the base of his skull and the pain in his right leg signified a concussion and the unhealed breaks in his leg. Taking these data points into account, the chances of being unable to escape have increased to a staggering 98.7 percent.
All of this, of course, was discounting the incalculable, unpredictability of the situation the commander had found himself in. He needed to gain more information to discern the most logical strategy and what to do next. The shocked expressions of his crew during the introduction nagged in the back of his mind. He slowly raised his head and tilted it over, blinking in the sharp light as his eyes tried to focus.
Sitting in the captain's chair next to him, draped in the leather tunic of the Klingon uniform, arms bare displaying golden skin scattered with scars, sat what must be the captain of the warbird that had captured him. The room began to spin and his head pounded as his eyes took in sandy, unruly blonde hair draped over rounded ears. Eventually, Spock met eyes that were inspecting him back with a deep intensity.
Spock felt his breath be stolen from him as his mind struggled to comprehend what was undeniable.
Human. The captain of this Klingon Vessel, of which he was currently a captive, was a human man.
Without looking away the man smiled easily with ferocity in his eyes. “Welcome aboard the Ki’tang commander. For your sake, you better hope Starfleet is willing to give up quite a lot for their rising star of an officer.”
The smile drops from his face as he barks an order to the guards behind him. They immediately move to lift Spock from the floor by his arms. He groaned in pain as the roaring in his head starts to overwhelm him, the room spinning. He would need medical treatment immediately to prevent long-term damage from the blast. His ears began to ring as he tried to focus on the golden man elegantly rising from the chair and stalking up to him.
Suddenly the captain's hand thrust out and sized Spock by his hair, forcing his head back to look into his captor's eyes.
Instead of pain, however, something else blossomed in the back of the Vulcan's mind. Something warm and golden. Something that soothed him like a warm breeze at night. Something that felt like home. A tingling spread from where the human, Kirk, he thought numbly, pulled his head back and left a pleasant buzzing in his fingertips.
The human's face twisted in confusion and his mouth, originally poised to undoubtedly say something intimidating, went slack in surprise.
Overwhelmed by the sensation and his head injury Spock’s eyes rolled back in his head and everything went black, leaving Spock with only one thought left in his mind.
T’hy’la.