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Noah had been sleeping restlessly and woke up as soon as his bedroom door opened. He froze instantly, only moving his eyes just far enough to see the clock, slightly after midnight. It was early tonight, usually Dad didn't show up until at least two in the morning. Not moving all, trying to keep his breathing even, he tried to pretend he was still asleep. Sometimes Dad never even left the doorway, just stood there watching him sleep for a really long time, then closed the door and went back to bed.
This time Dad didn't hesitate long at the door, and did not even bother to shut it behind him, just started moving right for the bed with a slight drunken stagger. The mattress dipped as he sat down on the edge of the bed, and almost immediately he felt his dad's hand on his back, stroking him softly through the covers. Still Noah tried to pretend he was asleep, often it didn't go any further than this, or at least it didn't in the beginning. He didn't have much hope that tonight would be one of those easy nights, not with how fast everything was moving. Not just early, but with almost no pause between each step, no moments when Dad seemed to hesitate.
The blankets and sheet were pulled down. Not just to his knees like they usually were, but all the way to his feet. Dad had to stand up to pull them all the way off, then immediately settled back beside him, even closer this time. Noah felt the finger slip into his waistband, and he started to shake, no more pretending that he was sleeping but he kept his mouth firmly closed. Usually Dad only pulled them down until his butt was uncovered, just like he did whenever he decided that Noah deserved a spanking.
Tonight they came all the way off, just like the blankets, and he let out a small whimper. Then Dad's hands were pressing against the insides of his thighs. Pushing them apart to spread his legs wider. The hands stayed for a minute, rubbing up and down his legs slowly, the touch gentle like it was meant to be soothing. It wasn't soothing, and Noah started breathing faster, each breath coming back out shaky.
"Dad, please, don't do this. You're drunk," Noah begged. "Just go back to bed. You're gonna feel bad about this tomorrow." He wasn't sure he believed that, not anymore. Dad used to look guilty in the mornings, after showing up in Noah's room late at night. Not so much anymore.
"Hush now, baby boy, Daddy's not going to hurt you," Dad said with a slight drunken slur in his voice. "You always enjoy this part."
Noah whimpered again, louder this time, a little more fear in it. That meant it would be the fingers next, it almost never went that far, or at least it didn't used to. More often lately. He didn't enjoy it, not even a little, but his dad never stopped until he made Noah's body react. The sound of the tube of slippery stuff was really loud, and the sound of his dad slicking up his fingers, somehow even louder. The fingers went straight for his hole, no hesitation, didn't even have to slide around looking for it this time.
The fingers shoved into him so fast and hard that it hurt, hurt even more than they had the first time. Noah cried out, not even meaning to, he might get in trouble for that. But he couldn't help it, everything was moving so fast tonight, he wasn't ready. Not that he was ever ready for this. Somehow it just got worse every time.
The first time that his dad had done this to him, he had been shocked, and he had felt betrayed. Really he shouldn't have been, not after a year of Dad sneaking into his room late at night, watching him and then starting to touch. Just where else had Noah imagined this was going? He wasn't a little kid, and he wasn't stupid, he even knew the right words for what this was called. Noah was thirteen years old and knew how to use the internet. It didn't take much searching to learn about incest, molestation, and rape. After researching it he shouldn't have been surprised by the fingers.
Did he really think Dad would stop at just rubbing his butt? Maybe he had been a little bit stupid back then. So that first time he was just shocked. He didn't even try to resist or protest or get away. Noah had just laid there shaking and scared while his dad shoved his fingers in and out for what had felt like hours. Frozen so completely that he hadn't even turned his head, didn't notice that his dad was jacking off as he did it. He always did that now, so he probably had, the first time too.
The first time he did it Dad hadn't stopped until he made Noah shake in a whole different way, not just because he was scared. It had taken him quite a while to get it right, fingers searching around inside Noah's butt, like he didn't quite know what he was looking for. Once he found it, it didn't take long. He kept rubbing that place until Noah got hard and then kept going some more until he got off. Noah had laid there perfectly still and silently cried, feeling overwhelmed, and sick, and filled with shame. Dad had sat there breathing hard for a long time before he pulled his fingers out.
Noah had been very upset for days. He couldn't understand what was wrong with him, that he could react to his dad's fingers like that. Then he had done more research. The internet told him that place was called a prostate and his reaction had been normal. It also told him that having an orgasm during rape didn't mean the victim liked or enjoyed it. That had also been normal. Somehow knowing it was normal didn't make him feel better.
The second time his dad had done this, Noah had silently tried to fight him off. He had rolled over onto his back, started pushing him away, even kicking. Dad had wrapped his hands around Noah's neck, squeezing so hard he couldn't breathe, couldn't beg him to stop. When his whole body finally went limp, and he was almost unconscious, his dad had just rolled him back over and done it anyway. Fighting had only made it worse.
He'd had to wear a turtleneck to hide the bruises, even though it was still really warm, even that late in the Fall. Dad had looked guilty every time he had looked at him, for a long time. It had been months before he even came back into Noah room. Longer still before he used his fingers again. So, maybe fighting had been worth it.
The third time Dad did this, Noah had screamed, really loudly, the second he felt those slick fingers touch him. He hadn't planned it. It just happened. His brother had come running right away, he always came when Noah had a nightmare, and he'd been having those a lot. He had barely gotten his pants back up before he had burst into his room. Dad said he heard the nightmare too, but it didn't look like Eli believed him, he was pretty smart. The next day Dad came up with a reason Noah deserved a spanking and the belt didn't stop swinging until he was screaming.
The fourth time, just a few days later, Dad spoke to him before even moving the blankets. He warned Noah that if he tried to scream again, Mom might find out about what was happening. That might make her very sad, especially since it was her fault Dad had to do this, since her psych meds had made her turn frigid. He'd had to look up what that meant later, but even without knowing, it had been an effective threat. This would make Mom sad, she might blame herself, and then she might hurt herself again.
Noah had been the one who had found her passed out with an empty bottle of pills. That's what most of his nightmares were about. Dad knew just how much that had scared him and knew just how hard he tried to keep Mom happy. It worked. He had laid there and stayed very very quiet and just let Dad do what he wanted. After that he had stopped counting just how many times this had happened. It didn't matter anymore.
This time it hurt so badly that he was afraid he would scream anyway. His brother would come running, and Mom might find--No. They weren't here. Eli had left for college yesterday. Mom was staying there with him for the first week, since he had never been that far from home. It was just him and his dad at home and no one would hear him scream. So he didn't, but he did start crying even louder, panic rising fast, and begged Dad to stop.
"Dad please, it hurts, please stop--don't do this, Daddy, it hurts!" he was almost screaming. If anyone had been home they would have heard it.
"Shut up! You can take it," Dad said harshly. "Quit squirming or I'll just have to hurt you worse. Gotta open you up, nice and loose, so you can take it all this time. So tired of waiting." He was breathing a lot harder than he usually did, even though he didn't have his dick out yet, wasn't stroking it. He wasn't just pushing his fingers in and out this time, he was spreading them wider, then squeezing a third one in beside them. Not even trying to make it feel good right now.
"Oh god, no, please don't do that, I can't," Noah begged, quietly terrified. He had been stupid again, thinking that fingers would stay enough for his dad. The internet had told him what more could happen, how this could get worse, but he hadn't let himself believe that could happen. That his dad would really do that to him. Maybe he was actually stupid.
"Okay, baby boy, just relax," Dad said, sliding all three fingers in and out. He had slowed down, maybe actually hearing the fear in Noah's voice, and was aiming for that spot once again. "You know you like this part, it always gets you off. That's gonna help you relax. Once I'm inside you, you'll like that part too. Promise you will. Your daddy will make you feel good."
"Don't want you inside me–please, Dad, please don't–it won't fit–" his words kept getting broken up by sobs, but they wouldn't have helped anyway. He'd seen his dad's dick, all those times he'd jacked off while doing this. It just looked so big, he couldn't believe it would actually fit. He knew that it could, from the internet, but still didn't believe it. Had seen even bigger ones fitting, in porn. Even knew that he might like to try that, just not with his dad. Was that why Dad was doing this to him? Did he know Noah might be gay?
"It's going to fit, baby boy, I promise," Dad said, sounding so turned on. "I'm going to make it fit, even if it takes all night. We have all night, no one to interrupt us, been waiting for this for so long." He started aiming for that spot with every thrust of his fingers, making Noah start to cry out. "See? It's already feeling good again, baby. Just relax, let me make you feel good."
He just shook his head desperately, crying too hard to make words. It didn't feel good, no way this could work when it had hurt so bad just moments ago. Except it was working, even while it was still hurting. The internet was wrong, this wasn't normal, something was very wrong with him. This was more like the thing that happened sometimes with the belt. That was very wrong too.
Noah could feel the heat building inside him, his thighs were already starting to tremble, his dick was so hard that it hurt pressed into his bed, and he was fighting hard against the urge his hips had to move. He had stopped jacking off months ago, it just felt wrong, after seeing his dad do it while doing this. So he hadn't gotten off since the last time Dad stuck his fingers inside him.
"That's it, I can feel you shaking," Dad said. "I know you're close. It's okay, don't try to fight it. Just give in to it. Let it feel good, it's gonna feel so good."
Noah tried so hard to fight it. To not give in. He hadn't fought this hard against it in a very long time. But he couldn't give in, knew he couldn't, because when he did his dad was going to fuck him. He didn't want that, he was so scared, he couldn't take it. Oh god, he had been so stupid, should have found someone to fuck him before this. Should have known that eventually Dad would do this, of course he would, and now his first time would be with his dad. That was so wrong, and that was also the last thought he had before his orgasm swept over him, making him cry out and shake.
"That's it, baby boy, just ride it out," Dad said, as he slowed his fingers, but kept them moving more gently, dragging out the shudders. "I told you that it would feel good. Just going to get better from here."
He kept shaking his head, tears sliding down his face, it hadn't felt good. That had felt like something in him was dying. Dad pulled his fingers out slowly, wiped his hand off on something, then spent a minute caressing his butt, still telling him how good it was going to feel. Then he felt his dad climbing onto the bed, right in between his spread legs. He should try to fight him off, make this stop, even if he didn't have a chance. It might make him feel better about it later, if he at least tried. But he had fought the orgasm so long that it felt like he didn't have any fight left, he just felt drained.
"Fuck, baby boy, I've been waiting so long for this," Dad said eagerly, as he wrapped his hands around Noah's hips, started pulling him up and onto his knees. Once he had him where he wanted him, he moved both hands to his butt, rubbing and squeezing and pulling the cheeks apart. "Such a sweet little ass, looks so ready for me. Has anyone else had it yet? I know you like boys, I've seen you looking at them. You let one of them fuck you?"
Noah buried his face in the pillow, still sobbing, as his dad played with his butt. He didn't want to answer that. His dad would like that he hadn't, and he didn't want to give him that. Then Dad slapped his butt hard, and repeated the question, sounding a little angry. "No Dad, no one has fucked me," he said, feeling miserable about the answer. He wished it had been yes.
"Good boy, that's what I hoped. Saved yourself for me," Dad said, nothing but lust in his voice again. "Wanted your daddy to be your first. Don't worry, I'll make it good. So good. Make it so you always remember."
That made him feel so sick. He could remember looking at porn and wanting but now he can't imagine ever wanting sex. Not after all this. What if he never did? What if this was all he ever got? Dad being his first would be bad enough, him being the only one...that would be more than he could deal with. He wouldn't let that happen. There would be more, hundreds if that's what it took, to overwrite this memory, to make him forget. Then one of Dad's hands moved to his hip, holding on tight, and he felt something–not fingers this time, oh god–pushing up against his hole.
"No! Please don't–oh god, please no–Daddy don't do th–" he broke off into a scream as Dad started to push his dick inside, not gentle, and it hurt so much more than the fingers had. He was stretched too wide, he had been right, it wasn't going to fit. This was tearing him in half.
"It's okay, you can take it, you can," Dad gasped out. He pushed it in even deeper. "Oh fuck, you're so tight. Even better than I imagined. Couldn't stop thinking about this, fuck, so perfect, just what I needed, made just for me."
"No I can't! Can't take it–oh god, oh fuck–it hurts please hurts so bad–take it out–Daddy no please you're hurting me!" The words streamed out broken by sobs and cries of pain, completely out of his control.
This was worse than it had been even in the worst nightmares he'd had about it. It was impossible, he had to be bleeding, he had to be dying, nothing could hurt this much without killing him. Even when Dad got his dick all the way in, just kept it there not moving, it kept hurting. His whole body was clenching down, and every time his hole squeezed around his dad's dick it felt bigger, hurt more. He couldn't stop sobbing, stop begging.
"See, it's okay, you took it, took the whole thing," Dad said, his voice was tight and shaking. "Got it all in there. Fuck, you feel so good. Tight little hole just wrapped around my cock. Squeezing me so sweet. Good boy, so good, already taking it so nice for your daddy. Give you a minute to adjust, but I have to move soon, I have to, you feel too good on my cock."
It didn't feel good, it didn't, Noah hated it so much, hated his dad so much, and he shuddered—skin crawling—as Dad started to stroke him all over. He wanted pull away from the hand that just kept caressing him, rubbing down his back, then up his side, before sliding around to his chest. When that hand found a nipple and started playing with it he twitched and jerked, but still didn't try to pull away from the touch. He was so impaled on his dad's dick, stretched so tight, filled far too full, that he was afraid even the smallest movement would make him burst. He couldn't move away. Just had to take it.
"That's it, you're doing so good, can tell you're almost ready for it," Dad said, pressing himself down close against Noah's back, still playing with that nipple, tweaking it and pinching it and gently twisting it, making him shake and twitch. Then he slid his hand down, wrapped it around Noah's dick, already filling up again, and started stroking it slowly, getting him hard. "Come on, baby boy, relax just a little bit more for me. Need you to give in to it, so I can fuck you nice and hard, need to move, so get ready. Get ready to take it hard and fast, need you to just take it!"
"Please, I can't do it, don't move—no, don't!" Noah knew he couldn't take it, that if his Dad tried to move it would rip him apart, except for how he could already feel it starting to work, starting to feel good, and he hated his body for giving in to it, hated his dick for throbbing in his dad's hand. Then his dad started sliding his dick back out, and he cried out with the pain, then he slammed it back in and he cried out even louder. Now that he'd started he wasn't stopping. Noah started begging again, words broken apart by the thrusts, "Oh god—please I can't—oh fuck, oh fuck—slow down—hurts bad—"
"I'm sorry, baby boy, so sorry but I can't stop now, fuck you feel so good, so tight, your daddy can't help it, you've just got to fucking take it," Dad sounded like he couldn't hold back the words any more than he could hold back the pounding thrusts. He kept his hand wrapped tight around Noah's dick, everything thrust pushing it into his fist again and again. "Doing so good, taking it so nice, fuck your little ass is like a vice wrapped around my cock, fuck needed this so bad, been too long, your fucking mother hasn't spread her legs in six months, so you've just got to take it!"
Noah just sobbed, overwhelmed, couldn't even beg anymore, just fisted both hands hard in the sheets, pressed his face into the pillow, tried not to listen as his dad wouldn't stop talking, had to just take it as his dad wouldn't stop fucking him.
The very worst part was how his dad's hand felt around his dick—he had never touched his dick before, and how it was starting to feel good, how each thrust hurt a little bit less than the one before, how his hips had shifted so now his dad's dick was hitting that spot every time, how his body was somehow starting to enjoy this, and how all of this was the worst part.
"Oh fuck, baby boy, can feel you start to love this, loving your daddy's cock deep inside you, gonna make you give it up for me, gonna make you come for me, feel you come on my cock finally, not just my fingers this time," Dad was almost screaming it now, making himself heard about Noah's own cries of pain and pleasure, Dad's hand moving frantically on Noah's dick. "Give it up for me, know you're close, know you want it, rip it out of you if I have to but I'm going to do it, going to make you come, so just fucking come!"
Noah wouldn't, he couldn't do it, could not let it happen, oh fuck not like this. His legs were shaking so hard he would have already fallen if Dad's hand wasn't gripping his hip so fucking hard. It hurt so bad but it felt even better, he could feel it building, there was no way he could stop it. His cries had turned into something keening and needy. His cock was throbbing so hard it felt like it would explode. Then it finally hit and it was too much, too much, too much, and his body was shaking apart with the force of it. He came so hard it shattered him.
"Yes, there it is, there you go giving it up for me, knew you would do it, you sick little freak, coming so hard on your own dad's cock," Dad choked out the words in a voice gone too tight, just kept on fucking him through it, dragging it out even longer, making him shake with it. "You've been wanting this, begging me for it, trying to goad me into this, needed my cock in your greedy tight ass, wiggling it around while I tried to punish you, tried to make you less of a freak, but you started getting hard for my belt, getting off on the punishment, so fuck it, decided to just give it to you, to just fuck you since you wanted it so badly, little freak, little slut, trying to whore yourself out to your dad."
The force of the orgasm had left Noah drained, taken everything out of him, left him empty. His body slumped so bonelessly, Dad now had to use both hands to hold him up, so he could keep fucking into him so hard and brutally. Everything that had felt good about this had left as soon as it made him come. Now it all hurt again, worse with every thrust, every place that had felt good was now burning or aching, overstimulated and just getting worse. That was easier to take, it was better that it hurt, this should feel just as terrible as it really was.
"Fuck, that's it, now I'm ready to fill you up, so close almost there gonna spill it all deep into you, Daddy's gonna come in your greedy slut ass," Dad gasped out as his thrusts started to grow erratic, jerking and stabbing into him, then he thrust in one more time, hard and deep, stayed there as his dick started to twitch and spill out. Stayed there until he had finished. Then gave a few more slow thrusts as his dick started to soften. Pulled out and let go, let Noah collapse completely onto the bed.
He started sobbing again, soft and quiet exhausted sobs, too drained for anything more. Noah felt branded and stained by the hot liquid he could already feel dripping out of him. Dad had known. He knew that Noah had started getting hard when his dad had spanked him with the belt. When he bent him over the arm of the couch, yanked down his pants, started hitting him with it. Each blow driving his hips into the soft cushion below him. Making him hard as he was hurting him. Just like the fucking. Hard and hurting.
Dad had known, and taken it as an invitation? The first time that had happened had been right before his dad had started showing up in his doorway late at night. That was why he had done this, all of this? He was using that to make this his fault. It wasn't, please say it wasn't. Noah started sobbing even harder, sobs so hard they hurt, could not make it stop.
Then his dad shoved him over, making room on the bed, laid down on it next to him and pulled him in close. Started stroking him again, softly and gently, praising him, telling him how wonderful fucking him had been. Noah tried to keep the sobs going, didn't want to feel like this had somehow comforted him. But he was just so exhausted, so finished, so drained. He grew quiet.
"You did so good, baby boy, took my cock so perfectly. I loved it, how loud you got as I fucked you, letting me know just how much you liked it. You can stay loud for a few more days," Dad said, still softly petting him. "We'll have to work on it after that. Take some time to teach you to take it more quietly. Don't want to risk waking up your mother when she gets home. But that's okay, we have plenty of time. We've got all week alone together."
"Dad, please don't do it again, please, I really don't want it," Noah whispered out weakly, knowing that his dad wouldn't care, wouldn't listen.
"Hush now, baby, you don't have to pretend anymore," Dad said, and pressed a kiss to the back of his head. He moved his whole body in closer, pressed his hips in tight against Noah's butt. His dick was already twitching again, trying to get hard one more time. "Knew that we would have to make the most of this week, need time to practice. Got my doctor to give me some pills to help out, I'll be ready to go again soon. Gonna fuck you all night, I promise."
Noah found enough energy to start sobbing again.