Chapter Text
It was Tuesday night around six o’clock when Joel showed up to start the process of taking Logan home. He had to meet with Director Morgan first to sign paperwork and talk about aftercare for his son. Knowing that his dad was in the building was giving Logan a nervous excitement. After dinner, Logan went to the front desk to meet his dad. Joel was waiting for him with his hands in the pockets of his grey Armani slacks.
“Hey, Bug.”
Logan gave him a big hug, his dad was still taller than him, so the boy fit nicely under Joel’s chin. His father kissed his blond hair.
“You need a haircut.”
“Okay, Dad.” Logan was actually surprised his dad lasted the six months without a comment about how long his hair had gotten. “I’ll get it cut.”
“You have an appointment on Thursday.”
Logan chuckled at that, “That’s fine, Dad.”
They walked to the elevator, then to the wing together, and into his room. Dakota was there on his bare bed reading a book. Logan gave him a look.
“I double checked you got everything.” Dakota said not glancing away like he wanted at the crack in his voice. “Even under the bed.”
“Thanks, man.” Logan appreciated. “I couldn’t have done it without you. You made these last two months the best ones yet.”
“No, sappy shit, yet.” Dakota left the room, brushing past Paul as he did.
Paul shook his head, “Don’t go after him. He’ll meet us there. Kota just needs a minute to get his head on straight.”
The three of them carried his bags to the front lobby of the main building. Where it all first started and Dakota was waiting for them. He sat on one of the couches biting at his nails. Logan waved him over to them.
Joel took Logan’s bags to his Jaguar. Logan stood in front of Paul and Dakota. He had said goodbye to everyone else during the day, but now his dad was here and it was real. He was graduated and leaving rehab. Logan had a lot of mixed feelings about it, like this knot in his throat that wouldn’t go away.
Logan wasn’t a coward. He faced life head on, but even with six months in rehab he was still a little afraid of his own tears. He wasn’t as sensitive as Dakota who was going to be openly crying as soon as they hugged, that wasn’t him, but Logan was saying goodbye to family and that hurt him to his bones.
Paul stepped forward first to embrace him. Logan lost it as soon as he was wrapped in his hug. So much for keeping himself together, the teen thought.
It was about that time, he heard his dad’s shoes click across the floor, but Paul was like his second dad to him. He was going to miss Paul so, so much. It had nothing to do with how happy he was to be back with his daddy because he was. He hated his mother for what she did, in keeping him from Joel all those years. It was just that Paul was there every night for the extremely hard stuff. He loved him, just in a different way than his father.
“Oh, Lo.” Paul rubbed his back. “I am so proud of you, kid. So, damn proud, I don’t even have the words for how far you’ve come, Logan. You did it. You're the one who put in the work.”
“Thanks, Papa Paul.” Logan cried into the man’s shirt. “I literately couldn’t of done it without you.”
Paul squeezed the nape of the boy’s neck, “I appreciate that, buddy. I really do.”
Logan pulled back and wiped his eyes with his hands, “I wrote you a letter. It’s on your desk. It has everything that I can’t say right now.”
“I’ll be sure to read it, Lo.” Paul promised and patted his shoulder. He turned the boy to his friend, stepping to the side with Joel, to give his boys a moment of privacy.
Dakota hugged Logan around the neck right away. He was already crying and that restarted Logan. They stood silently for a long while.
“I wrote you a letter too.” Logan coughed, not letting his grip in the hug go. “It’s on your pillow.”
“It’s in the front of your backpack’s pocket.” Dakota told him, with his forehead on the taller teen’s shoulder. “Your letter.”
Logan swallowed, “Kay, bud. I’ll read it tonight. When I get settled at home, I’ll try to get a free second away from all my little brothers.” He joked. “But you know how that is.”
“Yeah.” Dakota gave a gravelly chuckle.
Joel spoke up from in front of the boys, “Your door locks, Bug, you’ll have all the time you need to get adjusted. I promise.”
Dakota smirked, through his tears. “My door at home doesn’t lock.” He looked up at Logan, “You must be special or something.”
“Nah,” Logan nudged his head against Dakota. “I’m just more responsible.”
“Oh, no way, Lo.” Dakota pulled away some. “That’s bull. Come work the Farm and then we’ll see who’s more responsible.”
“Ah, you’re on, Dare!” Logan shoved him playfully and dried his eyes. “What’s your wager?” He turned to Paul, “It’s different than a bet!”
Paul shook his head at them. “Not at all guys. Just a fancier word.”
“Loser buys ice cream, Anker.” Dakota grinned, wiping his eyes with the flat of his hand. “Deal?”
“Deal.” Logan gave him a quick hug. “Bye, Dakota.” He winked, “Be good.”
“See ya, Logan!”
Logan walked up to Paul and his dad. He hugged his mentor again. This time for longer, but he didn’t cry.
“Bye, Papa.”
Paul said goodbye when Logan stopped their hug, “You’ll do great things, buddy. Bye, Logan.”
Joel shook Paul’s hand, “Thank you for everything. Thanks for taking care of my boy. It means more than I’ll ever be able to repay.”
“It was a real honor to get to know Logan, Mr. Anker. He’s a great kid. I know his hard work is gonna pay off.” Paul meant every word he said. He stepped over to put and arm around Dakota.
The two Anker man went to walk out the front door, but Logan turned around to wave at them. Paul and Dakota returned the gesture, but just like that he was gone from view. They got in his dad’s fancy car and drove away from the facility.
Dakota looked at Paul, “Can I call my Daddy now? Since I don’t have to wait for Lo’s time to be over, can we just switch spots?”
“Meet me in my office, kiddo.”
“Yes, Sir.” Dakota listened to Paul.
Paul needed a few minutes to collect himself. He hated saying goodbye to his teens, but he did get particularly attached to Logan in the six months he was mandated to be there. How couldn’t he? For at least a month, he was his only charge on the wing. Logan did best one on one, like Dakota he was the staff chosen to be with him his first night. That turned into days as the boy detoxed from heroin and cocaine. It was messy, but they came out the other side stronger. It helped them form their relationship.
Paul stepped outside for a breath of fresh air; he missed the boy already. He knew better then to get so attached to the residents. It wasn’t professional, but sometimes he couldn’t help it. Dakota would be a hard kid to let go of too. Paul went back into the building and walked to his office, to find his now one and only kid, with his feet propped up on his desk, relaxing in his office chair; waiting for his phone call home.
Paul slapped his feet down gently, “Dakota Dare, we’re you raised in a barn?”
Dakota looked at him a little confused, “Well, yeah, practically.” He shrugged.
“Okay, maybe that was the wrong analogy to use with you, kid.” Paul admitted. “Go head and dial home.”
It rang twice.
“Hello, Dare residence, this is Reid.”
“Hey, little brother.”
“Kota!” Reid yelled into the receiver. “Whatcha doing? You called early, everybody’s outside but me. I’m finishing clearing the table.”
“Talking to you.” Dakota acted like he didn’t just say goodbye to his best friend. “What mama make for supper?”
“Daddy grilled.” Reid corrected. “We had steak, corn on the cob, and baked potatoes. You?”
“That sounds damn good. Paul’s wife made us enchiladas. It’s Logan’s favorite meals she cooks for us.”
Paul ruffled his hair and got a drink of soda from his fridge. He took out some paperwork to finish while the boy talked, he wasn’t timing it tonight. It didn’t matter if he did anyway. They would be the only ones who knew.
“We did the slip-n-slide today. Josh cut his lip open on a rock, we had to go to the ER, and get him stitches. He couldn’t eat his corn the right way Mama had to cut it off. It’s all swelled up.” Reid told him fast.
“Jeez, Reid, maybe lead with that next time. Is he okay?” Dakota spun himself in the chair. “How many stitches did he get, genius?”
“Like four, I think.” Reid grunted. “He’s fine now, Kota. There isn’t anything you can do from rehab, big brother.” He reasoned. “Mama gave him ice and Rolly, then Daddy cuddled him a lot and let him eat a bunch of freeze pops.”
“Sometimes you make me wanna punch you, Reid.” Dakota snapped, “You know it bugs me not bein’ at home for everything; and this thing is a, very big everything, Jackson.”
“Don’t call me, Jackson, Dakota Rod Dare.” Reid did his best version of their daddy. “You know I don’t like it.” He took a deep breath. “It wasn’t my fault he got hurt, Kota.”
Dakota groaned, “I know that, kid. I’m sorry, RJ. It’s just been a long day. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
“Forgiven.” Reid said easily. He looked over to see who just came in the back door, “He just came in to get a drink. Do you wanna talk to him?”
“Yeah, thanks.” Dakota replied. He overheard Reid telling Josh who was on the phone before the phone switched hands and the tween went back to the dishes.
“Hi, Kota!” Josh boomed, “I miss you!”
“I miss you too, baby.” Dakota promised. “Hey, I heard you got hurt today, are you okay?”
“Yeah, my lip.” Josh confirmed. “It was a lot of blood, Kota. I cried a lot. We had to go to the doctors. He put wire in my face.”
Dakota didn’t mean to laugh, but Josh was cute. “Wire? I think you mean stitches, honey.” He touched a scar on his head. “I’ve had them before too. You just weren’t born yet; they were in my eyebrow. I cut it on something in the barn when I was eight. I wasn’t paying attention. I cried a lot too.”
Now that wasn’t the only time Dakota had stitches, but it was the only time he had them on his face and he remembered how much blood came from a head wound. He was careful for that to never happen again. Dakota wasn’t sure if it was the same with a lip wound, but Josh was smaller, so he was most likely scared too.
“Did Mama and Daddy take care of you too?” Josh wondered.
“Yup, they did.” Dakota stated. “Mama stayed home with Sissy and RJ, while Daddy took me to the ER. I wouldn’t let go of him the whole time we were there, they put the stitches in with me sitting on his lap. Then we came home and he held me some more on the swing and gave me hot chocolate cos it was fall and not summer.”
“That’s nice.” Josh decided. “Mama was pushing me on the swing set with Chevy just a little bit ago, but Daddy did swing on the porch with me while I took a nap when we got home.”
“So, you're feeling better?”
“Yeah, Mommy said I can watch a movie and sleep in the big bed tonight.”
“Well, ain’t you special.” Dakota teased light heartily.
“I am!” Josh belted.
Dakota laughed, “Go outside and give me somebody else, okay?”
“Kay!”
Dakota could hear Josh walk out their screen door and he yelled, “Kota’s on the phone! Who wants to talk next?!”
There was a bit of a scuffle, “Hey, big brother!” Cecilia answered the phone.
“Hiya, Ce!” Dakota greeted, “So, how’s Joshy really look?”
“Like a little boxer.” Cecilia reported, “I was with Heather at the Mall when it happened, but he’s black and blue.” She thought of how to comfort her brother, “He’s okay, Kota, other than that and the stitches. He only has three. Everyone is babying him more than normal. Don’t worry.”
“Even you?”
“Yes, even me, he’s kinda cute all bummed up.” Cecilia joked. “You know he’s my favorite brother.”
“Ah, hurtful.” Dakota laughed.
“Don’t worry, Kota, your everyone’s favorite brother.”
Dakota spun to the back wall. That was about as sentimental as his little sister got, “Well, I’m sure your everyone’s favorite sister.”
“That’s just because y’all don’t have anyone else to pick from.” Cecilia insisted.
“Not true,” Dakota smirked. “We’ve got Aubrey. She’ll be our real sister someday.”
“Oh, my word!” Cecilia gasped, “Did Josh tell you we had to stop and see her before we went home after they picked me up from the mall? She kissed his cheek to make it all better. Gross.”
“To have that good of a relationship at age six.” Dakota put his feet on the wall. “It must be nice.” He personally thought the whole ‘I’m going to marry Aubrey Mor’Well someday’ thing was adorable.
“You're such a sap, Dakota.”
Dakota gently huffed, “You buy a new outfit at the mall?”
“Yeah, but I gave it to Heather to keep at her house.” Cecilia whispered. “It’s a purple, belly shirt, mini skirt combo. I’m going to wear it with my jean jacket, but Mama and Daddy would hate it!”
Dakota clicked his tongue, “Not tellin’ ya not to do it with all the stuff I’ve tried to hide from them over the years, but I will warn you. I didn’t get away with half of it, Sissy. Less than half, they have their ways.”
“I don’t think they will.”
Dakota didn’t believe that for a second and there went his sister’s mall privileges for a lot longer than she’d like, “If you think so, Ce. Just remember your talkin’ to the king and I was still in trouble with Daddy a bunch. Be smart.”
“You were never the king, Dakota. Queens do better in History without a king anyway.” Cecilia laughed.
“Give me to Chevy, brat!”
“Love you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Dakota said, “Love you.”
It took a minute for Chevy to get on the line and when he did, he was out of breath, “My Kota.” He sighed happily.
“Hi, baby.” Dakota smiled at the sound of the youngest Dare’s voice. “Whatcha doing?”
“Racing, Daddy!”
“Are you winning?”
“Nope, he won’t let me.”
Dakota smirked, “Yeah, honey, Daddy doesn’t believe in that.” He turned to see what Paul was doing, “Dad never let the rest of us win either.”
“That’s not fair, I’m the littlest!” Chevy complained.
“Hey, now, do the rest of us let us let you win either?”
“No!” Chevy grumbled, “But maybe if Daddy let you guys win sometimes, you’d sometimes let me win something!”
Chevy was so loud that Paul could hear him too. The man smirked at the little boy’s protest. Dakota did too.
“Kiddo, why are you yelling?” Dakota asked him. “I can hear you just fine if you talk normally.”
“I AM talking normal; this is my voice.”
He wasn’t, but Dakota let it go. There was very little use to arguing with a four-year-old. Especially, this particular four-year-old. It was like fighting with himself.
“Okay, Chevy.”
“Kota?”
“Huh, babe?”
“I miss you.”
Dakota smiled, “And I miss you. Lots and lots. I love you, Chevy.”
“I love you, my Kota.” Chevy sang. “Can I go play now?”
“Yeah, go play. Give the phone to Mama.” Dakota told him, “Bye, buddy.”
“MAMA KOTA IS ON THE PHONE!”
“He’s loud tonight.” Paul commented.
“He doesn’t understand he can use an inside voice outside yet.” Dakota shrugged
Paul shook his head fondly.
“Hi, baby.” Elizabeth’s voice was sweet when she came on the phone. “How was your day?”
Dakota sniffed, “I’ve had better days.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Elizabeth said softly, “Are you ready to talk about it?”
“No, ma’am.” He was saving that for his Daddy. “How are you? Heard your day was scary?
Elizabeth let her son change the subject, “You gave me the practice to keep my cool in those types of situations, baby boy. Mister I’m just going to jump from my tree house to see what happens. Or mister I’m going to crack my ribs on a bull at the Rodeo. Or…”
“Okay, Ma.” He knew she was just trying to make him feel better. “I think a good one is all the fish hooks you’ve gotten out of my skin over the years. Maybe you should’ve been a nurse. It might’ve been helpful.”
“There were still a few we had to go see Aunt Grace at the ER for. I couldn’t get them all.”
Dakota bragged, “You always tried that’s what mattered to me.”
“You’re a good boy, Dakota Rod.”
“Thanks, Mama.”
Elizabeth wanted to talk to her son about Logan leaving, but she respected that he wanted his daddy. “Are you ready for me to give the phone to Dad?”
“Mama, it’s not cos I don’t love you or anything, you know that right?”
“I learned early on, honey, that there would be certain things that you’d only let him in for. I’m okay with that. Just don’t bottle it all up.”
“I promise.”
“I’ll take the kids all inside with me to get them ready for bed, so you and your daddy can have some privacy. He’s coming up the steps now, baby. I love you.” Elizabeth ended the call.
“Hey, Ace.”
“Daddy, Lo, left.” Dakota muttered.
“I know, baby boy, I’m sorry.”
Paul set a tissue box in front of Dakota and cracked the door as he went to wait for him on the couch. He could still hear him from where he was. Dakota balled a tissue in his hand.
“It hurts, Dad.”
Rodney questioned, “Any cravings or urges?”
Dakota had to think for a moment, “No, sir, but I do have a nicotine patch on.”
Rodney didn’t hesitate, “I am so proud of you. It’s not the patch, that’s all you baby. The patch doesn’t prevent alcohol or drug cravings.”
“I want you.”
“If I was allowed, I’d drive up there right now, baby boy and give you a hug. You know that don’t you?” Rodney pleaded.
“Uh, huh.”
“You’ve come so, so far boy.” Rodney observed. “But so did Logan he earned this, just like you will in a couple of weeks, honey.” Rodney wanted to comfort his kid, “Just think how much longer Logan has been away from his family than you, baby. It’s got to be nice to be with his daddy and brothers again.”
“I couldn’t have done six months.” Dakota admitted. “He had three home passes and he said it wasn’t enough. Logan missed his family like crazy. He told me about it.” He let himself cry, not wiping away at his tears or at his nose, “I think he’s my best friend, Daddy.”
“Yeah, sweetheart.” Rodney agreed. “I think Riley would approve.”
“Me too.” He sobbed.
Rodney let him cry until his boy was ready to speak again. Just holding space for Dakota over the phone to get his emotions out in a safe environment, even though he couldn’t be there for him in person. That was something Rodney learned while Dakota was away.
“I think I’m okay now.” Dakota guessed.
“Are you sure, Ace?” Rodney asked. “We’ve got time, you don’t have to be fine, it’s a big adjustment.”
Dakota took a deep inhale, “No, I’m sure.” He blew his nose and tossed the tissue in the trash, “I don’t need him here to finish. Just need to know that he supports me like y’all do.”
“That he does, baby.” Rodney was proud that Dakota’s voice sounded stronger and that his son got it there on his own. “You know I’m proud, right?”
“Yeah, Rod, I do.” Dakota teased.
“Watch it, Dakota Rod Dare.” Rodney said in fake authority.
“Wow, my full name twice in one call home. I must be doing good.”
“Huh?”
“Reid.” Dakota explained. “Don’t worry I actually deserved his.” He laughed.
“Oh, Jeez.”
“It’s okay, we made up.” Dakota offered. “Hey, Daddy, I think I’m gonna go do something with Papa, okay? I love you.”
“That’s fine, Ace.” Rodney insisted. “I love you more. Bye, baby.”
“Bye.” Dakota hung up the phone.
He stretched as he stood out of the chair and rubbed his sore eyes. Then Dakota went to pulled open the office door. Paul was relaxing on the couch with his eyes shut. His leg crossed over his knee at his ankle.
“Papa?” Dakota called, putting his hands in his pockets. “Do you wanna go for a walk or watch a movie or play a game or something?”
Paul patted the cushion beside him, “Take a seat, Kota.” When Dakota sat, he asked, “How do you feel?”
“Sad.”
“Me too.”
“I wish we had ice cream.” Dakota said seriously.
“If it wasn’t so late, I’d sign you out to get some.” Paul declared just as serious. “You and Lo ate it last night.”
“Our bad.” Dakota laughed.
So did Paul, “It’s way past your bedtime, kiddo.”