Chapter Text
AUDIO TRANSCRIPT
Mission Log: Thursday, August 25th
Mission ID: VBA_HUNT0825Q4S91700
Mission Location: Mountain Glenn (Q4, Section 9, Rally Point Bravo)
Mission Coordinator: CALAVERA, M. (ID#xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx)
Company/Team(s): [NO COMPANY DESIGNATION], Team RWBY (HT63600), Team VIPP (HT63700), CST ARC, J. (ID#xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx), CST REN, L. (ID#xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx)
Huntresses:
Team RWBY ("ruby")
- ROSE, R. (L)
- SCHNEE, W.
- BELLADONNA, B.
- XIAO LONG, Y.
Team VIPPyr ("viper")
- VALKYRIE, N. (L)
- AMITOLA, I.
- POLENDINA, P.
- NIKOS, P.
BEGIN LOG
Calavera: Ladies and gentlefolk, mission recording has started. Be advised that all vocal communication picked up on comms will be transcribed for later review. Please try to speak clearly and concisely so our transcriptionists continue to like us.
Valkyrie: Everything we say is being recorded? So I can say Ren is a cutie patootie and it’ll be on the permanent record?
Calavera: Yes, Nora. And I know this’ll be a challenge but do try to stick to business. A bit of chatter is fine but try not to reveal any state secrets or classified information or your mother’s cookie recipe.
Rose: Please put me down as very interested in any and all cookie recipes.
Xiao Long: Hey Rubes, I heard about a pickle and olive cookie recipe that we should try after this mission.
Rose: Let the record show I’m interested in any cookie recipes that aren’t super-gross.
Schnee: Actually, if you put that on a cracker with some spread, it sounds like a canapé.
Valkyrie: Why would you put pickles and olives on a canopy?
Nikos: It’s canapé. It’s a kind of appetizer they serve at cocktail parties.
Xiao Long: They have appetizers other than shrimp cocktail at cocktail parties?
Polendina: Would that be the delineation that makes a cocktail party distinct from other parties?
Schnee: Oh Brothers. Pyrrha, please help me educate these bumpkins.
Nikos: I don’t know if I’ll be much help, Weiss. I’m not what you’d call a party person.
Arc: So a cocktail party is a short thing where people drink and eat appetizers before a larger event, like a wedding reception or awards ceremony.
Schnee: What.
Arc: My mom’s a wedding planner.
Nikos: That sounds interesting!
Arc: If you like weddings, then yeah? I suppose?
Rose: Never been to a wedding, but they have cake, right? I love cake.
Valkyrie: Hell yeah! Cake five!
Schnee: People don’t go to weddings to eat cake! They go to watch people get married!
Belladonna: Or to get married themselves.
Amitola: Or to steal the bride?
Belladonna: Ilia that was ONE TIME.
Xiao Long: Oh I’ve gotta hear this. Blake, why did you steal someone’s bride?
Belladonna: Ugh. It was an arranged marriage, the bride wanted out but couldn’t say no for political reasons. So an… intervention was in order.
Amitola: Blake actually popped out of the cake. Best distraction ever.
Xiao Long: Tell me you have pics.
Amitola: After the mission.
Rose: Wait, people pop out of CAKES at weddings?
Arc: Not a common request but I’ve heard of it.
Valkyrie: Sounds like a waste of perfectly good cake.
Belladonna: The point is the wedding was disrupted, the bride was “kidnapped” and some time later a few compromising photos of the bridegroom’s antics at the bachelor party caused the arrangement to get called off. Bride was freed, I think she moved to Vacuo later.
Calavera: I’m just going to assume that none of this was actually criminal in nature.
Belladonna: No comment.
Amitola: I mean, are there really laws on the books that say ‘thou shalt not bust up a wedding’? The officiant even asks during the ceremony “hey anyone have a problem with this union?” Seems like it was all perfectly above-board to me.
Xiao Long: Oh I like you. You’re feisty.
Ren: Time to Rally Point Bravo is five minutes.
Calavera: Last minute gear checks, ladies. Jaune, you’ve got a checklist, get to it.
Arc: Yes ma’am.
Ren: No unusual Grimm activity detected at this range. Records indicate that we’re inserting at the lowest activity point of the day, though, so expect more of a presence over time.
Calavera: Also keep in mind that Mountain Glenn sits on top of a honeycomb of underground tunnels. Depending on how heavy the infestation is, things could go from lightweight to very bad quickly. Final objectives check. Team RWBY?
Rose: Secure primary and secondary extraction points, cover Team VIPP from range.
Calavera: Team VIPP?
Valkyrie: Confirm the presence of a Grimm Pool within the Merlot Industries office building, use provided Dust charges to blow it up real good, proceed to extraction point. Easy-peasy.
Calavera: Objectives confirmed.
Ren: Rally Point Bravo in 30 seconds. Team VIPP, prepare to deploy.
Arc: Confirming LZ condition, go for deployment.
Xiao Long: Call if you need us. Hell, call if you’re bored.
Rose: And be careful!
Valkyrie: Careful’s my middle name!
Ren: No, it’s not.
Calavera: Happy hunting, ladies.
Valkyrie: Team VIPP is go!
Valkyrie: Team VIPP is deployed. Comms check?
Amitola: Check.
Nikos: Check.
Polendina: Check!
Valkyrie: Proceeding towards objective. Pyrrha on point, Ilia look at her butt, I’ll look at yours, Penny looks at mine.
Amitola: Let the record show that the team is actually monitoring for active threats and not checking out each other’s butts.
Nikos: I was about to be upset that I don’t get to look at any butts.
Polendina: I believe you all have nice butts!
Valkyrie: Why thank you Penny!
****
Ren: Conditions still green? Team RWBY, prepare to deploy.
Arc: Condition green, go for deployment.
Calavera: Good luck.
Rose: Team RWBY deployed! Comms check?
Belladonna: Check.
Schnee: Check.
Xiao Long: Check out THESE GUNS.
Belladonna: You realize that only works because your guns are on your arms, right?
Xiao Long: Brilliance by design.
Rose: You two know the plan. Make sure the LZs are clean. Me and Weiss will scout out that nest we mapped in the next building over so we can support VIPP.
Belladonna: Headed to LZ1.
Xiao Long: Enjoy the nest, lovebirds.
Schnee: Ugh. Sex fiend.
Ren: Huntress teams deployed, proceeding to holding pattern.
Arc: Stay safe, everyone!
****
Polendina: Thermal imaging suggested the presence of a Grimm Pool on the eighth or ninth floors towards the north-western corner of the building. Starting from twelfth floor rooftop, now proceeding down eastern maintenance shaft, no signs of Grimm activity yet.
Nikos: Ilia, Penny, sorry for having to use a flashlight but Nora and I can’t see in the dark.
Amitola: Nobody’s perfect.
Valkyrie: You sure Penny isn’t perfect? Nice height, great hair, modest, equipped with night vision and like a dozen swords…
Polendina: I am so embarrassed!
Amitola: Okay, yes, I rescind my earlier statement, Penny’s probably perfect.
Polendina: I must protest! My sisters and I all have different combat loadouts specifically because carrying equipment for all eventualities was deemed excessive for mission parameters!
Nikos: They’re just joking, Penny. You don’t need to be perfect to be valued. But you are pretty wonderful.
Polendina: Thank you Pyrrha! I think you are wonderful as well.
Calavera: I am going to get cavities from all the sweetness, ladies. Status?
Nikos: Entering ninth floor from eastern maintenance shaft in three, two, one.
Nikos: Entry clear.
****
Rose: Heeeeeeeere we go. Perfect.
Schnee: Uptown Girls to Downtown Girls, status?
Belladonna: LZ1 is clear, proceeding to LZ2.
Xiao Long: Uptown Girls? Seriously?
Schnee: You don’t have a monopoly on clever naming conventions, Yang.
Xiao Long: Blake, y’hear that? Weiss thinks I’m clever.
Rose: We’ve got a bead on the northwest corner of the building. No sign of anything on the ninth floor in that area that we can see, but we can’t see that far in.
Nikos: What about the eighth floor?
Rose: Less visibility. Nothing obvious from the outside, but I’ll keep you posted.
Ren: Motion detectors picking up signs of activity in the sector.
Schnee: Downtown, check in.
Xiao Long: Not seeing anything down he–
Belladonna: Contact.
Xiao Long: Spoke too soon! Contact!
Calavera: Clock’s ticking ladies!
***
Valkyrie: Never thought I’d be asking this but where the hell are the Grimm? Ninth floor is clear.
Polendina: At this rate it will take over an hour to thoroughly search the building.
Amitola: Split up?
Nikos: Too risky.
Valkyrie: Yeah, what we need is a shortcut.
Rose: VIPP come in, have you got contact? Seeing flash traffic on the ninth floor.
Amitola: No contact yet, Nora just literally smashed a hole in the floor. Descending to eighth floor.
Schnee: Huh. Efficient. Color me impressed.
****
Belladonna: Cleared contact. Just a few creeps. Proceeding to LZ2.
Calavera: Keep blackout protocols in mind. We’ve got a time limit after first contact is made, and if we don’t clear out before that time expires, the odds that the Grimm respond with overwhelming force start to increase exponentially.
Rose: I’ve got contact on the north face of the building. Creeps on the exterior, heading up from below.
Valkyrie: Buy us some time?
Rose: On it.
Nikos: Brothers!
Amitola: Found the pool! Ugh, so THAT is what it smells like.
Belladonna: You’re making me thankful that I’m outside, Ilia.
Amitola: Imagine a sewer, filled with rotten food, plus the thing that ate the food, only it’s dead, and also rotting. Covered in mold that is also rotting. Oh, and blue cheese.
Belladonna: I am asking you nicely to stop.
Polendina: Planting Dust charges!
Valkyrie: Aaaaaand we’ve got some lifeguards. Engaging!
Nikos: Engaging. Cover me!
Polendina: We need a Dust charge on that support beam.
Amitola: On it.
Polendina: All charges in place and armed, please confirm countdown duration.
Valkyrie: *unintelligible*
Nikos: Two minutes, Penny!
Polendina: Two minutes, starting now. Please proceed to minimum safe distance.
Valkyrie: But mooooom we just got here!
Schnee: VIPP, west face of the building is clear for a quick exit if you need it.
Valkyrie: Ugh, fine, moving out. Ilia, on your six.
Amitola: Got it, thanks.
Nikos: *unintelligible*
Valkyrie: Haha! I saw that Pyrrha!
Nikos: Sorry!
Valkyrie: Don’t be sorry! That was awesome!
Schnee: Do I want to know?
Valkyrie: She just did an Argus kick on a creep and knocked him off the edge and back into the pool.
Xiao Long: Are you serious?!
Schnee: Are you serious?
Amitola: Valid question with Nora, let’s be honest.
Polendina: I do not understand this reference. One hundred seconds remaining.
Valkyrie: There’s this movie that came out about the battle of the White Hot Gates, and there’s this awesome scene where the Argussian queen screams out “THIS IS ARGUS” and then snaps a kick from the waist into this dude’s chest to knock him off a cliff. SO cool.
Nikos: It was totally unintentional!
Valkyrie: You mean totally badass!
Polendina: I am interested in reviewing this archival footage with you after the mission! Ninety seconds remaining.
****
Rose: Weiss, head over to help them get down, I’ll be right behind you.
Schnee: Hmph. Suit yourself.
Belladonna: Contact at LZ2!
Xiao Long: And that’s a Goliath, huh? Where’d YOU come from, big boy?
Schnee: In position. VIPP, you may breach to western exterior when ready.
Valkyrie: Firing a hole!
Polendina: Is it not ‘fire IN the hole’? Eighty seconds remaining.
Valkyrie: How do you put fire in the hole if there’s no hole yet? Gotta MAKE the hole first!
Schnee: You’re an idiot.
Valkyrie: And yet you find me alluring in a brusque, unconventional way!
Schnee: Not even in your wildest dreams.
Valkyrie: Meh, it’s fine, my heart belongs to Pyrrha.
Nikos: Umm. Shouldn’t we be descending?
Belladonna: Yang, say nothing. We’re busy. YANG.
Schnee: Seventh floor, men’s outerwear, photo department.
Xiao Long: You girls are lucky my hands are full at the moment….
Schnee: Sixth floor, ladies’ seasonal collections, patio furniture, Grimm creeps.
Rose: Got you covered.
Schnee: Fifth floor, housewares, nursery, more Grimm creeps.
Polendina: Sixty seconds remaining!
Belladonna: LZ2 is compromised. Repeat. LZ2 is compromised. Returning to LZ1.
Ren: Nevermores, incoming from Sector 8!
Amitola: Pyrrha, on your left.
Nikos: Got it, thank you!
Schnee: Third floor, appliances, Dust munitions, fainting couches.
Amitola: Leave it to Atlesians to need a whole department for fainting couches.
Rose: What’s a fainting couch?
Xiao Long: Weiss’ favorite piece of furniture.
Polendina: Frequent fainting spells are a sign of poor circulation or low blood sugars. I was not aware this was such a rampant issue in Atlesian civilian society. Forty-five seconds remaining.
Schnee: Second floor, mezzanine, this is our stop ladies! And for your information, my favorite piece of furniture is a chaise.
Valkyrie: Let’s move! LZ1 here we come!
Xiao Long: A chaise? A chaise IS a fainting couch!
Schnee: Ruby, get down here!
Rose: On my way!
Belladonna: LZ1 is clear, securing perimeter. Yang’s right, Weiss.
Schnee: There are notable stylistic and material differences between a fainting couch and a chaise. Saying they are the same would be the equivalent of saying that an Argussian red wine and a Vacuan red are the same.
Xiao Long: Weiss, those are both wines, they’ll both get you drunk, and you can faint on a chaise. I rest my case.
Polendina: Twenty seconds remaining!
Valkyrie: Team VIPP has reached minimum safe distance, how ya doin Ruby?
Rose: BIRDIE NO
Valkyrie: Well she certainly sounds like she’s got the situation handled. Blake, how’s our exit looking?
Xiao Long: *unintelligible*
Belladonna: Contact.
Schnee: I’m going to go collect my dolt.
Polendina: I shall assist Weiss! Ten seconds remaining!
Valkyrie: Approaching LZ1. Huntress teams requesting extraction, come on down cutie patootie.
Polendina: Dust charge detonation in three… two… one.
Rose: *unintelligible*
Schnee: Ruby you idiot!!
Nikos: Weiss, Ruby, Penny, are you all right?!
Rose: We’re good! All in one piece! Merlot Industries, however, NOT in one piece!
Polendina: We are presently in a debris cloud and cannot confirm the state of the target building. Requesting overwatch!
Arc: Uhh, girls, that building is gone. So, uhh, mission accomplished?
Calavera: Don’t count your chickens, Jaune. Ladies, what’s the condition of LZ1?
Xiao Long: Debris cloud is obstructing visibility, but no contacts.
Valkyrie: Confirmed, no contacts.
Ren: Approaching LZ1 for extraction.
Valkyrie: Mountain Glenn you’ve been a wonderful audience tonight! We know you have a lot of options for your Thursday night entertainment and we are so glad you chose us.
Xiao Long: Waiting on you, Ruby.
Rose: Almost there!
Polendina: Debris cloud is clearing. Enemy contact!
Rose: Run, Weiss!
Schnee: YOU run!
Amitola: How about BOTH of you idiots run? Jaune, some suppressive fire?
Arc: Coming up!
Calavera: Sound off!
Rose: Team RWBY, all present and accounted for.
Valkyrie: Team VIPP, present and smokin hot!
Calavera: Ren?
Ren: Huntress teams recovered, proceeding to exit vector.
Arc: We have Nevermores in pursuit!
Calavera: Time for the fun part, ladies.
Rose: Pyrrha, you cover that side with Jaune, I’ll cover over here.
Nikos: On it!
Xiao Long: Folks we are back at the Donny Vermillion Country Club’s forty-third annual duck hunt and Ruby Rose is lining up a shot on what is certain to be a three-point bird.
Rose: *unintelligible*
Xiao Long: Oooh, swing and a miss! Ruby nails it on the follow-up but let’s see what the judges have to say.
Amitola: Recovery was good, I’ll give her a nine.
Belladonna: Nine point five.
Rose: Aww, thanks Ilia! Thanks Blake!
Xiao Long: And we’re waiting on a result from the Atlesian judges…
Schnee: We’re going to have to pay the transcriptionists a gratuity aren’t we? To make up for all the nonsense?
Calavera: I usually just get them a box of donuts.
Xiao Long: Jaune Arc using his patented ‘spray-and-pray’ method but it doesn’t look like it’s gonna win him any awards. Oh, but here comes Pyrrha Nikos with one! Two! Three turkeys! What a finish from Big Red!
Belladonna: Vale’s orphans are gonna eat well tonight.
Amitola: What is this, a charity duck hunt?
Polendina: Do the orphans know that Grimm disintegrate upon death?
Nikos: Clear on this side!
Rose: Clear over here too.
Ren: Long range indicates that remaining bogeys have broken off. Please confirm all clear.
Valkyrie: Team VIPP reporting all clear.
Rose: Team RWBY reporting all clear.
Arc: Company support confirms all clear.
Calavera: Mission coordinator confirms all clear, ending mission recording now. Hi Glynda!