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The first time Sara had felt the brush of love unremitting, was below the canopy of leaves and birdsong. Sunlight fluttering down to where she gazed up in wonderment, kissing at her cheeks and cloaking the little tengu in warmth so tangible it seemed to parallel her very steps.
The forest had been her first love. She had grown up alongside it, watched it pulse and breathe around her, and Sara was certain the pain of loss she felt when it was taken would never uproot from her heart.
She had been much younger then, alone and malleable; assigned purpose and instilled devotion became her everything, no longer was there time to mourn. Sara had sworn to never love again.
But then, the Almighty Shogun gazed unto her, placed the bead of valor around her neck, and breathed the fire of longing back into Sara’s lungs. That was the second time.
Sara had been reticent when approaching this new sort of love—a love that reached back—but the years carried onwards, melding in their usual manner, and soon normalcy took hold. The way Ei regarded her behind closed doors was a secret Sara was intent to keep. There was a smile saved just for her that no one else could steal away.
At the foot of her throne, felled by the harbinger’s might, Sara braced for yet another grand love to leave her. In the dazed moments before unconsciousness, she realized that she had the power to fight back this time, no longer the suggestible fledgling she once was. She could reach out, grab ahold.
Many hours later, after Ei carried her limp and bloodied to the healer’s chambers, Sara awoke. She opened her eyes to Ei’s fearful face; the room was empty save for them, but there was a disturbing lack of cheer in the other woman’s eyes. Sara reached shakily for her hand, frowning when Ei squeezed and knelt at her bedside, bringing Sara’s knuckles to her forehead with a wispy sigh of relief.
There was the tremor of feeling in her words when she spoke, severing the silence clean in two.
“Marry me.”
Sara gaped openly at the utterance, stunned and enlivened all at once.
“Pardon?” Her voice cracked at the seams, delicate like glass sure to break.
“Marry me, Sara.” Ei raised her head again and spoke with undeniable earnestness. The shimmer of tears that lined her eyes, illuminated by tenuous candlelight, slammed present reality into Sara once more.
“I…”
Words failed her when she needed them most, the rush of blood clouding all thought, and her head grew light. Ei kissed the back of her hand as if she understood, she always seemed to.
“Rest now, darling.”
Sara’s eyelids drooped immediately at the suggestion.
—
There was talk of promotion amongst the guards, though the mention was oft met with a scowl rather than boisterous celebration.
Sara had long since learned to filter out meaningless chatter, but their words struck her alarmingly deep. The walls had eyes, and she was foolish to think that she could shy away from them. Though, this had never stopped her from trying.
She walked poised and certain up the steps, eyes affixed to the rug beneath her feet. Aren’t promotions granted on the basis of merit? It appeared the walls had a mouth too, blabbing away as if she could not hear. If I knew a little persuasion was all it took to get ahead, I would have bed Her Excellency a long time ago. Sara whirled around, red geta halting with an echoing clack; the men who stood guard at the top floor landing jolted to attention, ghostly pale when they finally noticed their general’s presence.
Silence stretched on as she glared. Sara was more than content to let them fidget where they stood, but she had a prior engagement to see about.
“I want both of your weapons and uniforms turned in to me by the end of the day,” she said firmly, leaving no room for discussion. The first soldier’s lips thinned and his shoulders shook just barely, rage swelling in the black pool of his eyes. He nodded once, saved from further punishment by what little restraint he seemed to have.
“Of course, Madam Kujou.” He turned to leave, thudding noisily as he made sure to leave anger in his wake. His friend remained, frozen stiff.
“You are dismissed.” And the young man bolted.
Sara sighed, alone at last before Ei’s chamber doors, and pressed a palm over the hidden, gold jewelry at her chest—just above her thunderous heart. The doors slid open before Sara could raise her hand to knock, and Ei stepped forward, power like the potency of thunder swirling within lilac irises.
Sara reached for her cheek, grazing her thumb and forefinger over the smooth surface; Ei hummed, though the ferocity never left her face. She gripped Sara’s wrist and pulled her into the room, sliding the door shut and pressing the taller woman against its surface. Ei sighed into the neck she fast burrowed into, the puff of air enough to travel sudden and sharp down Sara’s spine.
“I take it you heard all of that?”
“You were much kinder than I would have been.” Sara laughed outright at the grumbled reply, gasping when Ei’s nails dug into her torso. “Though, I will admit it was a joy to eavesdrop.”
The smirk pressed to her neck had Sara nearly sweltering, uneasy on her feet. Soft hands pulled upwards at her shirt, torturously slow and teasing—Sara’s ribs were still bruised, and the rate at which her heart pounded left them a throbbing mess. Sara hissed when Ei’s cool fingers slipped beneath the fabric, brushing over her mottled flesh, pressing in for good measure.
Ei stepped back with her head cocked, a look of inquisition sitting heavy on her face. She yanked Sara’s shirt up suddenly, unceremoniously, enough for Sara to gasp and teeter backwards. Her palms slapped against the wood, desperate to find a handhold before she toppled over.
“Your ribs look quite well, have they been hurting much this week?”
“Not much.” Sara’s stomach quivered where Ei traced the divots of her muscles, peering up in suspicion. “Alright, a bit during this morning’s training.”
“Sara, we’ve discussed this—”
“I merely did light calisthenics today, honest.” She laughed into the face of doubt, running fingers through unbound hair. Ei kissed above her navel, an act of acknowledgment, and lowered Sara’s shirt. There was an undoubtedly soft way Ei cared for her, enough for Sara’s knees to grow weak despite having seen that same affectionate gaze a number of times over.
The way she stepped back and regarded Sara now, though—apprehensive and closed off—was different.
“Have you thought about what I said?”
Marry me, Sara.
Sara could have feigned ignorance, blamed her poor memory on the sedatives the healer had been rather generous with, but the expectant way Ei looked at her was far too captivating to deny. Sara swallowed, suddenly feeling for all the world like a flightless bird lost at sea.
She nodded once and cleared her throat.
“I have, yes.”
“And?”
To be the Shogun’s wife… Oh, the notion fluttered at her heart, brought a lump to her throat. But the grip of fear had settled at the base of her neck not long ago. It buzzed like the wasps of summer, whispered unabashed like the crude soldiers under her command. The citizens praised their Archon, a symbol of promise and glory, though they knew not of her sordid affair. Should they find out, Sara was certain Ei’s image would falter in their eyes.
She was the Archon’s affliction, and though she wanted with every fiber of her being, Sara stepped back.
“I feel it may be too soon for me to join you in unity.”
“I see.” Ei seemed to sink into herself, but her eyes still shone with attentiveness. Sara breached the space between them, grasping the other woman’s arm to ground her in the present, acting as the tether Ei had always considered her to be.
“This isn’t exactly a no.” Sara turned her hand over delicately, sliding their palms together as Ei watched the movement with unbroken focus. She smiled towards the ground, looking up through her lashes before pressing Sara deeper into the door.
“Someday then?”
Sara swallowed thickly.
“Many somedays,” Sara murmured as she leaned forward, aiming to capture the lips inches from her own; Ei laughed blithely at her vehemence, stealing a chaste kiss before stepping back. Sara trailed dazedly after her with the barest hint of a groan.
“Come help me with these endless scrolls then.” Ei languidly made her way over to the desk tucked away in the corner of the room, leaning over the chair to shuffle the mountain of parchment back into order. Ei looked up with a smirk when Sara still hadn’t moved from her spot, and she stared openly at the glorious figure she painted—backlit by the golden hues of sun and flecks of dust.
“Of course,” Sara acquiesced, moving forward until they were connected again.
Ei remained leaning back in her chair even as evening swept away the afternoon, watching the line of Sara’s jaw as she leaned over her shoulder to point at some clause or another. Sara flushed at the undivided attention, melting near instantly when Ei cupped her cheek and pressed a kiss of thanks to the opposite one.
“Brilliant.” Such a simple word, slipping lowly past Ei’s lips and landing somewhere between Sara’s lungs. She hummed, and rested her chin atop Ei’s head.
There was no space for fear in this pocket of tranquility they created together.
The buzzing dulled for just a moment.
—
The seasons were changing with much reluctance. Bitter chill seemed to cling to the seams of the earth, though the flowers of spring still poked their heads through the lingering frost.
Sara woke to a shiver up her spine, an uneasy feeling that carried over into the day’s mission. Dispose of the wandering hilichurl that tormented the citizens at the very edge of the city—quick, easy, and done with before the sky had a chance to blush pink. She marched back with the few men who accompanied her in silence, the soldiers taking to avoiding conversation with her ever since their fellow men in arms’ displacement.
They feared her, and the notion had Sara squirming beneath her skin. She hadn’t expected anything less, but weeks spent in terse silence had begun to eat away at her. Sara felt as if she were going mad.
She dismissed her men with an authoritative nod before the war room doors, and they scattered like insects. Sara slipped into the room—now repurposed for an era of peace—and slid the doors shut, pressing her forehead to the smooth wood with a sigh.
“You’re back rather soon.” Sara spun around at the voice, calming considerably when she took in the sight before her.
There was Ei, leaning over the long table of topography, right where she had promised she would be the night before. They had been quite busy as of late, off carrying out duties of some importance or another, and just before sleep could steal them away, Ei had whispered the assurance of a day unbound into the warmth of Sara’s chest.
They were to meet in the war room for their usual debriefing and let the will of the day lead them onward; Sara’s shoulders twitched with that same unease from earlier.
“Today’s mission was a simple one.” She rounded the table and sidled up next to Ei, removing one of her gloves and pointing down at the raised ink of Konda village. “I managed to strike it down before it could travel further north, though I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more lurking in its wake.”
Ei hummed and Sara continued, dragging the tip of her finger further upwards, “I also noticed that Konda village is not fairing quite as well following this year’s winter. We ought to send a few soldiers in to offer help with any building repairs, although I have to admit I’m at a loss when it comes to aiding agricultural needs…”
She trailed off, noticing for the first time since her ramble began that Ei’s right hand had snuck its way to her hip. Sara side eyed the other woman with a raised brow.
“Continue.” Whether it was mirth or mere gentle encouragement in her tone, Sara could not tell.
“Right, well as I said, Konda is in dire need of assistance before the springtime rains sweep through, and I was thinking—” Ei’s chin was now hooked over her shoulder, arms tight around Sara’s waist, and she no longer knew what she had been meaning to say.
“You were thinking…?” There was definite teasing that laced Ei’s words now, and Sara’s head fell forward when they hit the uppermost ridges of her spine. They dispersed on her flesh, burrowing deep below the surface, rousing the unease that quaked in its solitude—unease that unfurled like the unkempt desire it was.
“I’m not quite sure anymore.” Her words were strained, and the map beneath her fingers crumpled where she gripped at the table. In their weeks of relative separation, Sara hadn’t been proffered the opportunity to touch, and the sudden realization of their closeness had her twitching with the urge to shed any facade of propriety.
Ei laughed, something throaty and deep, pressing her lips to the patch of skin behind Sara’s left ear before whispering, “Why don’t we take a moment to recoup then.” She bit down on Sara’s shoulder with little preamble, hard enough to spur Sara into motion with a sputtered gasp.
Sara spun around, almost crazed, maneuvering the best she could within the vise-like grip. Ei’s mouth had slackened in her shock, and something slammed into the walls of Sara’s chest at the sight of it, something she didn’t dare ignore. Sara dipped her head forward and licked into Ei’s mouth the very same moment she gripped Ei below her thighs, hoisting her up until those long legs locked around het hips.
Ei hummed at the sudden nip of teeth and squeaked when Sara pivoted, laying her Archon flat, right over the carefully inked rendition of Watatsumi Island.
No one dare bother them now—they were alone for hours until they deemed otherwise—and the mere notion of spreading Ei out and fucking her until the room smelled of their coupling was a delightful prospect indeed. The full length of their bodies melded in an instant, and at Sara’s brief show of reserve, Ei bucked up into her with uncharacteristic urgency.
“Don’t spare me your hunger, Sara.” She leaned her head up until their noses brushed. “I can see the way it screams for you to take me.”
Sara’s eyes widened at the thrill of excitement Ei’s words evoked; a zap of potent fervor shot from beneath her ribs to the crux of her thighs, words of acquiesce so explicit that Sara couldn’t help the swell of a growl that clawed its way from her throat. She pushed up with the hint of a tremor, loosening the front sash of Ei’s kimono, tugging the edges apart with a burst of zeal.
Ei gasped at the sudden rush of cool air against her flushed skin, scratching down the front of Sara’s own shirt until she could grip at the hem and tug. Sara laughed at Ei’s unfettered focus, gently swatting her hands away.
“Patience.” Sara’s smile was met with a frown, though it didn’t remain for long when she lifted her shirt the rest of the way, discarding it carelessly in the corner of the room.
Her bindings remained, but Ei’s hands roved unabashedly, regardless of their barrier. She sat up when Sara shivered, pressing a kiss to her clavicle, heated and wet—Ei mouthed along the craters of her body, each dip and rise of bone she could find, and the twitching sinew of muscle. Never before had someone brushed their lips over the puckered scar tissue, searing appraisal into each imperfect marking.
She continued, luring until Sara’s quivering command of enough. Sara hooked her fingers into the low-cut collar at Ei’s shoulders, tugging down until Ei’s breasts lay bare.
The sight of such plush skin never lost its appeal, and Sara pushed on Ei’s sternum until she tipped over again, burying herself—lips, tongue, and teeth—into the swell of Ei’s chest. She paid them undivided attention, biting bruises into the tops of both, sucking at each nipple until Ei was arching and eager beneath her.
Ei’s nails dug into her back, carving deep until Sara’s lips left her breast. She arched into the shiver that took over, grunting open mouthed into Ei’s shoulder when her wings sprang forth, concealing the two of them in a canopy of downy feathers.
Ei laughed airily, flush high on her cheeks—she knew exactly what she was doing. Sara grunted, pushing up until the other woman’s arms fell away from her back, staring down with an incredulous look.
“I simply cannot be trusted, darling.” Ei was being coy, and Sara narrowed her eyes.
“I believe I just mentioned something about patience.”
“You’d be brazen too if you could see what I do.” Sara flushed crimson at the comment, deflecting quickly by gathering both of Ei’s wrists and pressing them to the table above her head. Sara’s Magatama hung low between them, free from the confines of her shirt and taunting. Ei caught it between her teeth, biting down with something akin to a leer, and tugging in retaliation. She let go and quirked her brow, tilting her head as if to say what now?
Ei was glorious beneath Sara, open and ready and hers. She would be hers for as long as time willed, Sara just had to say the word. Sara licked into her mouth instead, hoping to abate her threatening mewl of longing. The fingers of her free hand dipped past the waistband of Ei’s shorts, sliding down through her cunt, a touch light enough to tease before inching back up to her clit. She circled slowly at first, picking up speed the more she lost friction, motions heated and messy.
Ei’s responding kisses grew sloppy the more Sara worked at her, canting her hips upwards in silent request—wrenching herself free from Sara’s lips with a cry when it was finally granted. Sara pressed in easily, palm flush with Ei’s jittering hips, lashes fluttering at the devastating feel.
Warm and soft, just like the rest of her. She felt so real, so—
“Good, so good,” Ei was rambling, voice hiccuping with each crescendo of movement.
Sara crooked her fingers, angling to the left until Ei gasped, pressing upwards with renewed focus. Again and again until Ei’s heels dug into her lower back near painfully, the dull ache rewarding in its own right.
Marry me, Sara.
The words replayed in Sara’s mind with each muted slap of skin, each gasp of breath. With every thrust Sara buried her overzealous agreement to the hilt. In each pounding confession she told her I do, yes, please—
“Please, Sara.” Ei strained against the hand around her wrists, drawing forth a guttural noise of acknowledgement. “More, I want more of you.”
She wanted the same, she wanted too much—but in this moment, far from the prying eyes of Tenshukaku, she would take.
Sara released Ei’s hands and removed her fingers, ignoring the sharp cry of disagreement in favor of tugging the other woman’s shorts down completely. They hung useless and forgotten around her ankle by the time Sara spread Ei open fully, gripping under each thigh and pressing forward. She regarded the obvious glimmer of wetness before her, the manifestation of desire requited. She licked a broad stroke through Ei’s cunt, seeking to taste her without further rumination.
Sharp and sweet; ethereal in flavor and worthy of endless praise.
By the third or so swipe of her tongue, Ei was clawing at the maps beneath her—Sara winced when she heard the distinct sound of parchment tearing—grappling for grounding. Sara latched onto her clit, laving long and slow, humming when Ei pitched forward with a shout. She buried one hand into the mess of Sara’s hair, the other hand tugging intermittently at the base of a trembling wing.
To kneel at the altar of Ei’s hips and sip from her nectar with the same clever tongue that prayed beneath the sakura with ardency… the sacrilege was not lost on her, their sin so delicious that Sara exhaled humorously. She burrowed her instantaneous joy deeper, nose scrunching until Ei choked breathily on her own accord.
She was approaching the summit, fast and violent; Sara would carry her over the edge, hurtling towards the ground, eyes open and arms outstretched. Her sounds grew louder, falsetto when Sara brought her right hand up to join her mouth, halting all together when Sara repeated the dragging motion. Ei was frozen where she arched, beautiful in the throes of a silent scream, cunt like a vice around Sara’s fingers.
Ecstasy left her distended; Sara brought her down gently, slowing once the grip on her hair and wing loosened, peppering kisses up the softer swell of Ei’s stomach. She quickly slotted herself between shaking thighs, bracketing Ei’s head between her forearms.
Ei shivered at the press of their skin, speaking reverently after some time, her eyes skittering and reverent when they finally opened. “Pretend, for just a moment, that it is only you and I.” Ei raised an unsteady hand, running her knuckles along the puff of Sara’s bottom lip, pushing down until her mouth fell open. “Do you desire the walk of eternity with me?”
The words landed somewhere near her teeth, and Sara swallowed them before they could escape. She inclined her head, slipping her tongue past Ei’s parted simper, satiated by the dregs of her question; she pulled back, willing her sigh not to sound so withered.
Their foreheads pressed together within their finite realm of solitude, skin dewy with sweat, breathing harsh as they settled. Ei scratched featherlight up and down the slope of Sara’s back, taking care to brush over each wing before tapping at the lower ridges of her spine in encouragement.
Sara huffed, and pressed her slick mouth to the corner of Ei’s lips, her nose, her cheek. She whispered into the other woman’s skin, shoulders shaking with the strain of holding herself up.
“Just—” Her voice cracked, and she slumped forward with a groan. “Give me a little more time.”
Ei wrapped her arms tighter around Sara’s torso, legs joining until they encircled narrow hips, adhering them fully. “Take me sweet while I wait in rapture then.”
Sara nodded, breathless. She hooked an arm under Ei’s left leg, pressing forward as she rolled into Ei’s searching hips. This she could do—bestow Ei the pleasure she so desired. The other woman gasped airy and sweet, until Sara’s ears tipped pink with the sound of it. She leaned further forward, ghosting their lips together, eyes rolling back at the air they now shared.
Where they pressed chest to chest, Sara felt the thrum of Ei’s vitality, a rhythm that paralleled her own erratic heart beat. An ode to evermore, each stanza punctuated by short, staccato gasps—a sound so sweet, Sara was helpless but to sing along.
—
Sara shifted where she sat, adjusting her position just as she had a moment ago. And a moment before that.
She was restless. It was springtime, the breeze was calm, the grass was still, and she was restless . Her legs crossed and uncrossed, displacing the rounded cushion that lay beneath her, and Sara huffed with growing frustration. Meditation had never been this arduous—she flinched with each, hollow bok bok bok of the nearby shishi-odoshi. It seemed as if the near stagnant pond water flowed abnormally loud. Sara grit her teeth.
“Are you… feeling alright?” Masahito sat to her right, back straight in the meditative pose, one eye slanted open in concern. At his side lay his loyal hunting dog, Sora, the black and grey mutt peering up at her with a similar sort of worry.
The sight of the two of them was amusing, but then the shishi-odoshi hit its rock again, and Sara’s eye twitched.
“I’m just fine.”
Sora huffed and Sara glared in her direction.
“Are you actually fine, or are you deflecting so as not to burden me?” Sara gaped at his question. Masahito had always been the quiet observer type, he rarely spoke unless spoken to, and in his self-disciplined silence, he learned the unfortunate power of intuition. The eldest of the Kujou smiled at her expression, the glimmer of humor in his eyes.
“I suppose I’ve been rather on edge lately.”
“That’s one way to put it,” he mumbled the words light heartedly, scratching behind Sora’s left ear as Sara groaned.
Two months had come and gone since Ei had overturned her world. The snow had long since melted and rain had greeted the dawn of spring; blossoms had opened with vibrant promise, but still she stood before Ei with no answer.
“Is this about Her Excellency?” Sara spun towards him, eyes roving to discern just how much he knew.
“How did you—”
“Have a little faith, Sara.” He laughed, and Sara blinked. “You’re only ever this agitated where she’s concerned.”
Sara looked down in resignation, a hint of shame coloring her words when she spoke. “Perhaps you’re right.”
“I often am,” Masahito responded teasingly, and Sara nudged the older man’s knee with a scoff. Sora stood up with a yawn, tail in the air as she stretched before pawing over to Sara and flopping into her lap. Intuition—something both dog and owner shared it seemed.
They sat in silence a while longer, the wind displacing Sara’s hair. Just the other day, Ei had commented on the growing length of it, twirling the indigo strands with endearing focus. Sara had burrowed into the front of Ei’s kimono as she phased in and out of slumber, Ei’s look of adoration a blessed buffer for her convoluted dreams.
Ei had been patient with her, remained by her side, arms open and lips pursed for each good morning kiss despite her glaring indecisiveness. Each and every touch whispered of glorious, inexplicable things, it always had. Whatever the feeling was—something indivisible from, and beyond the confines of love—Sara knew she would spend the rest of her life chasing it.
She just… wasn’t prepared for the uncertain next step.
“Ei asked me to marry her.”
Masahito jolted when she broke the silence and turned to look at her, shock plain in the high rise of his brow. Sara thread her fingers through Sora’s fur to keep herself grounded, surprised by her own willingness to divulge so easily. He shook his head and cleared his throat, mouth opening and closing wordlessly for a moment, before he laughed in light hearted bewilderment.
“I can’t say I was expecting that, Sara.”
“Neither was I, truth be told.” She leaned back on her hands and lifted her face towards the sun, though its rays did not hug her so close.
At her sigh, Masahito rubbed the back of his neck in confusion. “Why do you sound so defeated, are you not happy?”
“I am… dreadfully so,” Sara said plainly, wincing when her response came close to a whine. She was painfully unused to discussions of the emotional kind, and if Ei were not the recipient of her words, she often kept her mouth shut. But Masahito was here now, and, if the squint of his eyes was any indication, he was trying desperately to understand.
“What keeps you from her then?”
“You’ve heard what the guards have been muttering about since I ascended positions, haven’t you?” She responded to his question with one of her own, glancing at him when it was met with silence. Masahito’s face had hardened, left hand clenched tight into a fist on his lap.
“It’s all hearsay, and I don’t believe a word.”
Sora shifted anxiously at her owner’s darkening tone.
“You are one of very few then.” The protective edge to her brother’s voice had Sara’s throat growing tight, but she pushed onward before she grew too exhausted to continue. “I cannot tarnish the throne with the misfortune my presence brings.”
What else was a disgraced soldier to bring when the table was set and the guests sat down to dine; she’d uncover the silver platter that housed her beating heart, watching as the faceless council picked at it in disgust. Ei would be blamed for the much unsavory flavor, the dinner party was her idea after all.
“Nonsense.” Sara blinked back into focus at Masahito’s voice.
“What do you—”
“Utter nonsense. I have watched you free yourself from the claws of despotism and march up the almighty steps to claim honor, the events that transpired after cease to matter to me.” He looked into her eyes with all the ferocity of his impassioned speech, words hitting Sara square in the chest. “You are not a burden, you are a catalyst.”
“Masahito…” she thought to speak, respond to such a claim, but her eyes pricked and words eluded her.
Masahito nudged her knee, gentle as ever.
“I may be a simple man, but I certainly know that a love of this magnitude was never made to be secret.”
The tears really came then, pouring silently from Sara’s eyes, hot and thick. It felt prodigious to cry this way, on such a lovely day, beneath a willowing maple tree and her brother’s sympathetic gaze. Sara laughed, and though the jolting sound was wet and wobbly, it brought a smile to Masahito’s own face.
“Perhaps you’re right.” She wiped below her eyes and sat up straighter.
“I often am.” Sara couldn’t bring herself to scoff this time. “Go to her.”
He sounded excited and Sora leapt up in agreement, barking until Sara ceded with raised hands. She stood and straightened her clothes before turning back to Masahito—the man had his eyes closed again, legs crossed as he returned to inner alignment, though joy lifted the edges of his lips.
Sara made to open her mouth again, but he nodded as if sensing her nerves, speaking with plain amusement, “Go on.”
And she left, a gust of elation carrying her out from the courtyard and up the numerous steps to her lover’s eminent abode.
—
The muted clack of her zori gave Sara pause, and she looked down at herself. Perhaps she should have changed before marching so determinedly up the Tenshukaku steps—she remained in nothing but her lounge shorts and sleeveless tunic, still lax from meditation and Masahito’s emboldening words.
She shrugged, too far from the compound now to address the mess of her wardrobe, and climbed the final set of stairs before her. Sara was abnormally winded when she reached the throne room, pressing a hand over the fluttering beat of her heart. It was nervous excitement—a petulant feeling, an exhilarating feeling—that stole her breath and urged her forward.
Either side of the throne room’s grand double doors were vacant, another reason for Sara to halt in her crusade. The lack of guards was startling enough for Sara to worry at her bottom lip, looking around as if a pair of soldiers were hiding in the bushes; the foliage stared back, empty save for the song bird that landed on a thin branch and preened its feathers.
Sara huffed at her own unease, shaking her head to disperse the fog of doubt.
Normally the guard nearest the entrance would announce her presence, but she elected to peek her head through the crack in the sliding doors instead, scanning the room before her eyes settled on its lone occupant. Ei hovered above the ground, one leg crossed over the other in a glorious display of concentration and control, and Sara stared for a moment. It was always fascinating being mere feet away from that which she had been searching for.
“Enter.” Sara jumped at her voice, straightening when Ei’s glowing eyes opened, and she set her feet back to the floor.
Sara stepped beyond the threshold and cleared her throat, unsure of how to broach the intention of her visit. “Is there a reason why none of the guards are at their posts?”
“I wanted them gone.” Her tone was monotonous and dark, and she gazed at Sara unblinkingly before turning to settle atop her throne. Sara froze for a moment, unsure of what could have caused such upset, but closed the cavernous space between them in hopes of consoling with five even steps. She stilled just before Ei, eyes flitting about her stern face, not wishing to push as she braced for whatever came next.
“A land upon which you roam as anything but my Seishitsu, is not a land I wish to preserve.”
Sara startled, eyes wide and taken aback. The roar of her heart, second to none in its incessant desire to urge her forward and into the waiting arms of a woman that cared, echoed with vivacity in her ears.
“Oh,” she responded lamely, the word scratching up her dry throat.
That was as hefty a declaration as Ei had ever made, but Sara’s heart fluttered nevertheless. She loved her.
She loved her, loved her, loved her; Sara would scream the words until her throat bled, cupping the drops of her crimson essence to paint the words with a shaking finger instead.
She shouldn’t have taken so long to get here, to find the worth within herself to shove past the wall of perpetual doubt, but she was scared. Scared of the repercussions born of her inexperience, scared of the dishonor she was sure to bring. Ei reached a hand up to wipe at Sara’s glittering cheeks, a smile quirked with knowing.
“Do you know what I see when I look at you?” Sara sniffled and shook her head, not having expected the conversation to take on such weight. “I see the backbone of a nation, the ferocity of your passion, the glow of your intellect…”
Sara had begun to shake, throat tightening painfully around the warbled sob that finally broke free. She knew, she knew what had plagued Sara all these months, and it was clear that Sara’s strife had been eating away at her too. Ei gripped her wrist and tugged lightly until she crumpled in her lap, arms wrapped tightly around Ei’s shoulders as she struggled to control her breathing.
Ei cupped the back of her neck, dragging her nails down between where her wings lay hidden. Sara shivered and pressed closer, unsatisfied until their chests were flush.
“I see how hard you work, how much you care.” She pressed her lips to the crown of Sara’s head when next she spoke. “I can feel how much you love me.”
Sara gasped, wet and sorrowful, lips quivering against the jut of Ei’s jaw.
“I do,” she warbled and sat up, cupping the shorter woman’s cheeks. “I do love you, more than my body can take it seems.”
“And I love you, beyond all self imposed constraints.”
Sara settled further into where she straddled Ei atop the throne, brushing back the strands of hair that covered the velvet planes of the other woman’s face.
For years now she had looked into those lilac eyes, the ones placid and all seeing to the people, and watched the flicker of something profound like the simplest expression of mortal-like love grow to take up the whole of her face. Ei was softer around the edges now, more open and expressive; Sara knew she had led her here, that they had traversed the impossible terrain towards joyous abandon together.
It was quite simple really, that for all her apprehension Sara had already given herself fully to the woman beneath her, and so had Ei in turn. Mind, body, and soul they were bound—to give their union pomp was merely a matter of tradition, but to don the robes befitting the Shogun’s wife was a matter of the heart, and Sara’s beat wildly at the prospect.
To rule by her side through all bouts of uncertainty and watch the fruits of Inazuma ripen with promise—their nation would grow, bud, blossom, wither, repeat for an endless time. Sara would never grow tired of it, dreamed of it endlessly, and Ei knew her too well.
So well, that when Sara smiled through the thick of tears brought on by happiness anew, she grinned. This was acceptance, happiness in its truest form, and Ei pressed their foreheads together with a gentle nudge.
“I’m tired of pretending like I’m not soft on you,” Sara whispered, kissing Ei’s nose when it scrunched. “That I don’t care about what I hear whispered amongst the guards.”
“They will never touch us.” Sara huffed a laugh at the severity of Ei’s words, pushing back to stand once more. She adjusted her clothes before pulling the gold Magatama out from beneath her shirt, pressing it to her chest, and kneeling before the throne.
“I know,” Sara whispered, reaching a hand out and kissing the backs of the other woman’s fingers when they slid into her open palm, words free of hesitation when she continued, “and I accept your offer—from now until the next several lifetimes, I am yours, Your Excellency.”
Ei stood, tugging until Sara was upright. “We are each other's everlasting glory.”
In the beat of silence that followed the swell of emotion, Sara saw her own elation reflected back in the unshed tears that lined Ei’s eyes. With deftness, she wrapped an arm around Ei’s waist, dipping her for a kiss that echoed laughter, and sealed the promise of forevermore.