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Not for the first time, Merlin contemplated how soulmate magic came into existence. Sometimes he wondered if it had been a spell or something that changed the very makeup of humanity. Or maybe it was something that was as ingrained into their species as thumbs?
Whatever the reason—and the why and the how— Merlin knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that his soulmate, whoever it might be, was getting the shitty end of the stick considering how much he’d lost over the years.
“I swear, I put it right here and now I can’t find it.” Merlin cursed, opening his side-table drawer for the fourth time that hour.
“It’s probably gone off to your soulmate by now,” Will, Merlin’s best friend of all his years and current roommate, proclaimed wistfully.
The man was bitter that his own soulmate had yet to lose a single thing, and therefore couldn’t have any hint as to who it might be.
“Along with my calculus textbook, about half my left socks, and now my damned phone,” Merlin hissed, digging through his clothing pile on the bed.
He tossed the pillows aside, and slid his hands behind the mattress just to make sure it hadn’t fallen in behind. When nothing touched his finger tips, Merlin growled in frustration.
“For fucks sake, I need my phone,” he griped, fingers running through his hair and tugging upward in frustration—until it looked more like freshly fucked hair.
Will paused, an idea seemingly forming in his mind, judging his expression.
“Okay, hypothetically,” he began, and Merlin groaned.
“I hate when you start with that.”
“Yeah okay but, no really, this is actually quite brilliant.”
Merlin sighed, taking a seat on the edge of his bed, then motioned for Will to continue.
“So, hypothetically, what if I called your phone?” Will looked like he was suggesting one thing, but was insinuating something completely different.
“Can you just say what you’re trying to say? Because I’m tired, and I’m frustrated, and I’m just not getting what you’re saying.”
Will’s grin started getting bigger and bigger.
“If we call your phone, and it rings in the house, then great! You’ll have found your phone.”
Merlin paused, understanding dawning on him just as Will continued.
“And if it’s not here, and someone else picks it up…”
“My soulmate…” Merlin hesitated.
A wave of feelings came crashing down on him then, and it was all he could do to keep himself breathing—even as shallow and irregular as it was.
“Merlin?” Will placed a hand on his shoulder.
There was no way Will could miss the way his body trembled, or the way he seemed closer to freaking out than getting excited.
“Hey… You know you don’t have to right? We don’t have to do that,” Will murmured placatingly.
“I just…” Merlin tried to put words to his thoughts, but shook his head. His eyes fell on a picture of his mother. And it came as no surprise that Will, who flicked a glance over to the picture and nodded slowly, understood without words exactly what Merlin was thinking.
“There’s no use trying to slot yourself in her position, Merls. That was different and you know it. The chances of finding your soulmate and losing them just as quickly… I mean if it were that common, we’d know about it.”
“It broke her…” Merlin whispered, memories flooding him then, of his distraught mother the day she got the news. And as much as she cared for him and gave him everything she could, there was always a part of her that was… distant. A ghost.
“But don’t forget how happy she was when he was alive. Don’t forget how much joy they had. The pain is worth it, for the right person.”
It took three days before Merlin finally gave into the temptation. In that time, he tried to keep his mind occupied with his course-work, and the mass amounts of papers he was meant to be writing. He did give into the occasional temptation of ogling the Rugby team during their training. The lads were absolutely fit, beyond reason.
Most especially the one with the longer hair, and scruff along his jawline…Merlin ached to know how it would feel rubbing against his thighs.
When Merlin returned to his shared flat with Will, he’d decided.
“Alright, call it.”
“Wait, really?” Will sat up, patting himself down in search of his phone.
“Yeah, I…I can’t keep putting it off. I need my phone, and honestly, it almost feels like this was meant to happen. Besides,” Merlin continued nonchalantly. “If my soulmate does have my phone, there’s nothing to say we need to immediately jump into anything. Maybe they’re dating someone already, or maybe we’re not ready to commit to something serious.”
Will nodded along sagely. “Sound advice. But are you trying to tell me, or are you just saying that to convince yourself?”
“I—” Merlin hesitated. “I don’t know…?”
“That’s fair.” Will nodded, and unlocked his phone, sliding through his list of contacts and dialling up Merlin’s phone.
Holding the phone to his ear, Will tilted his head from side to side as the tone continued to ring. And then…
“Oh,” Will’s eyes widened, and a slow delighted grin spread across his face. “Well this is certainly a surprise.”
Merlin’s eyes bugged out, as he made a series of rapid arm movements that Will then chose to ignore.
“You’re smarter than I expected. Fair enough. Hang on, I’m going to take this in the other room.”
“Will!” Merlin hissed, desperate to either know more or keep him from leaving. But the grin on Will’s face said it all. He was going to milk this for all it was worth, and Merlin would just have to deal with it.
Will said nothing more on the subject for days. It was absolutely beyond infuriating, especially with the way Will had somehow become immune to Merlin’s more annoying tendencies—such as repeatedly prodding his finger into Will’s side, or loudly demanding at any and all hours that Will tell him everything.
Thankfully his classes had picked up enough that most of his free time was focused on writing papers and studying for upcoming tests. Even so, he made time for watching the rugby team when he could. It was odd because it felt like he was being watched just as much as he was watching, but he couldn’t identify anyone in particular.
It was late Wednesday afternoon when Merlin returned to the flat, exhausted, and desperately needing Will to give in, when he noticed something odd.
There was a stream of people coming in and out of their flat, some people he recognized—Gwen and Lance offered him sweet smiles, though they hinted at something mischievous—and others he knew at a distance, such as the entirety of the Rugby team?!
Merlin blinked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.
“What is—”
“Make room!” A much taller, much larger male boomed from beside where Merlin was lingering at the door to his flat.
“Oh, sorry,” He murmured, shuffling quickly out of the way, before realising the man was walking straight into his place with a large box.
Frowning, Merlin followed him in to see the place covered in boxes of different sizes, taking up most of the space in his living room.
If he didn’t know better, he’d almost have thought he and Will had a new roommate.
“What is…going on here?” Merlin tentatively asked out loud.
“Oi, Percy! Put that box in here!” A voice called out from Merlin’s bedroom.
The large man, apparently named Percy, followed the sound of the summons, which Merlin did too because, who the damn hell was in his room right now?
The answer was: a few people, apparently. There was the gold-haired Captain, Will of course, who was talking to…Oh god.
“Merls!” Will called out, seeing him at the door to his room, albeit somewhat dwarfed by Percy.
“Alright, out. There’s too many people in here.” The Captain barked, shuffling out both Percy and Will, but leaving behind the man with the long hair.
“Merlin, is it?” The man turned a cheeky smile on him. His eyes were half-lidded and flirtatious, and there was a general air of amusement coming off of his confident pose.
“Uhm…Yeah? Who are you, and why are you in my room?” Merlin asked, a bit trepidatiously. He wasn’t trying to be rude, but he’d been caught completely off-guard, and now there was a slight buzzing in his brain he couldn’t shake.
“Ah, name’s Gwaine,” the man—Gwaine—introduced himself, while extending his hand towards Merlin in greeting. “Pleasure to finally meet you.”
“Finally…?”
All the air in the room seemed to disappear, leaving Merlin dizzy and in need of a sit down.
“Oh. Hang on, I got you,” Gwaine murmured, taking a quick step to where Merlin was apparently swaying on his feet, and led him towards the bed—guiding him to sit.
“I—” Merlin tried, but swallowed to get past the block in his throat. “I’m sorry, I think you have mistaken me for someone else? I’m not entirely sure what’s going on here.”
Gwaine’s expression never wavered, as if he’d expected this response from Merlin.
“Actually, I’ve known it was you for some time.” Gwaine lowered his voice, and got up from the bed to close the room door. It gave them a bit more privacy from the group going in and out of the flat. Something about that simple action, however, sent a shiver down Merlin’s spine.
Sensing Merlin’s inability to form words at the moment, Gwaine continues while making his way back and taking a seat to Merlin’s right, on the bed.
“If it’s not obvious already, I’m the one who had your phone.”
“Yeah I’m catching up to that now,” Merlin murmured nervously.
Why was this so absolutely terrifying? Could Gwaine feel his heart pounding in his chest? Could he feel how hard Merlin’s body was trembling? There were so many questions swirling through his head, but chief amongst them was…how did Gwaine actually feel about all this? About him? Did he feel forced? Was he just going to court Merlin because some stupid magic told them they were soulmates?
“Hey,” Gwaine nudged his shoulder lightly, pulling Merlin out of his head for a moment.
“Sorry, I…Gods this is just…I—”
“No, I get it. We kinda sprang this on you. But, I’ve been waiting years for the right moment, to be honest. And when this just…literally dropped in my lap, how could I say no?”
“Wait, years?” Merlin finally allowed himself to look over at Gwaine, who was looking down at his lap with a bit of a shy expression.
“The first thing I actively remember you losing…I think I must have been five? I was in foster care at the time, moving from place to place but when I woke up, there was a stuffed dragon in my bed.”
Merlin blinked. “Killy?”
Gwaine snorted. “Was that his name?”
“Well…Officially it was Kilgharrah, but despite naming him, even I had trouble pronouncing it from time to time,” Merlin scoffed. Younger Merlin had always been a bit fantastical. Losing Killy had been the start of a downhill losing-things-streak.
“Right, well…At first I thought it might have been a gift from my foster family, but a week later I was moving again so, I wasn’t as sure. It took a few more items, and well…” Gwaine laughed a bit to himself. “I overheard a conversation that I don’t think I was meant to? But I remember them talking about soulmate magic. A lot of things started to make sense after that.”
Merlin wanted to reach out, because this man was sharing his story, something that seemed rather deeply personal. But stilling his hand, Merlin tried to focus on the bits and pieces, trying to see how they fit together with his own memories.
“I never…got anything from you…” Merlin frowned, trying to bring memories back.
“Yeah, well. That comes with always being reminded that nothing you really own is yours. Save the garbage bag of clothes you lug from place to place.” Gwaine shrugged, as if it was just a fact. Merlin couldn’t help picturing a younger Gwaine being relocated over and over again, with nothing but a small bag of clothes, but he knew pity wasn’t what Gwaine was looking for right now, so he shook the thought away and refocused.
“Looks like you have quite the collection now, though?” Merlin nodded his head towards the boxes in his room.
“Actually,” Gwaine laughed, fingers nervously drumming a beat on his thighs. Thighs that Merlin suddenly had a hard time drawing his gaze away from. “This is all yours.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Merlin wasn’t sure there was a limit of surprises he could endure in one day, but they’d soared past that in the few minutes talking.
“I kept everything,” Gwaine replied simply, if a bit hesitantly. “See, when I was younger, all I wanted was a friend, someone who understood me, and saw me. From that first dragon, to the bits and pieces you’ve lost over the years, I felt like I had a secret friend. It felt like you were there with me, sending me things when I felt low, or just needed someone.”
There was a brief pause, when Merlin processed what Gwaine was saying, and when Gwaine turned to face Merlin a bit better. The man was…intoxicating, even outside whatever made them soulmates. It was easier to ignore from the distance between the rugby field and the open-air stands, but here? Now? When there was less than a foot of distance between them? Here Merlin could see the tiniest freckles that dotted over Gwaine’s nose. He could see the slight chappiness of Gwaine’s lips, and god if that didn’t make them more inviting. Merlin could picture himself soothing over that bottom lip with his tongue.
Leaning in just a fraction, Merlin could finally inhale that absolutely rugged scent that was both Gwaine’s sweat, and the spicier scent of his soap. It took everything to stop himself from leaning in and nosing along the line of Gwaine’s jaw. Something of that must have shown in his face because when he glanced at Gwaine next, his eyes were dark with arousal.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish yet, Merlin…” His voice had dropped again, rumbling against the most intimate parts of his body.
“Gwaine,” Merlin tried to admonish, but the breathy quality turned it into a soft moan.
“Fuck,” Gwaine closed his eyes and gripped his fists. “I always imagined how my name would sound on your lips, but fuck if my imagination didn’t even come close to doing it justice.”
“I need you to know,” Merlin swallowed past his fear, trying to dig into the bravery of his father, of his mother, of all the people who’d found their soulmates and didn’t know what to do next. “I need…I need things to go slow. Just because we know now…”
“Doesn’t mean we need to jump into anything,” Gwaine finished with a soft smile. “I know. And I understand completely. If anything, I’d prefer it that way because…well I’d like the chance to make you fall in love with me on our own terms.”
The confident way he’d said that had Merlin choking on nothing at all, but there was a flutter in his stomach like he was on a roller-coaster. He knew without a doubt, it would be very easy to fall in love with Gwaine, to let them become who they were always meant to be, together. If the hoard of treasures Merlin had lost, now in his flat, were anything to go by, Gwaine held him in a very special regard.
“Merlin, you need to understand…” Gwaine hesitated for the briefest moment. “You saved me. In more ways than you know… I would wait an eternity for you.”
Perhaps it was the honest and raw vulnerability in Gwaine’s eyes—or the fact that he’d laid all his cards on the table for Merlin so they could start in the same place—that had Merlin leaning in closer, and running the tips of his fingers along the rough scrape of Gwaine’s stubble. The pad of his thumb ran along Gwaine’s lower lip—his mouth parting in a soft gasp at Merlin’s touch—before Merlin couldn’t resist leaning in any longer.
Just as their lips met in the softest of touches, Gwaine whispered his name like a reverent sigh. There was a hesitant tenderness in much the way most first kisses go, and fuck if Merlin wouldn’t have had it any other way. Gwaine was perfect, and while they had a lot to talk about, and a long way to go before Merlin was ready to fully give his heart away, this moment wasn’t about the future. It was about this moment. It was a thank you for Gwaine’s vulnerability, and for all the things Merlin hadn’t been aware he’d done.
It was the promise of late nights, dinner dates, and study sessions. This singular kiss promised good times, hard times, and that no matter what, they would always try.
Merlin angled his head to the side, deepening the kiss. His fingers moved from Gwaine’s jaw to the back of his head, tangling in the soft lengthy strands. Gwaine leaned into it, just enough that he could press Merlin back into the bed, but didn’t. He was letting Merlin lead, which was…exactly what he needed right now. Instead of pressing too far, Gwaine let his hands rest against Merlin’s arms.
They both knew there would be time for more in the future, and this was hardly the time or place to start something else. A ping sound startled them both into separating from the kiss. Gwaine dug around in his pockets and handed Merlin his phone, a shy smile on his lips.
“Should have returned this sooner, sorry.”
Merlin couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head and typing out his passcode. It was a text from Will.
We left you boys to your own devices for a bit. If you want to catch up later, tell Gwaine we’ve gone to Princess’ for Pizza.
“Apparently they’ve gone to some place called Princess’ for pizza?” Merlin pursed his lips, unaware of any new local places, but Gwaine chuckled.
“That’s our Captain.”
“His name is Princess?” Merlin’s brow rose.
“Nah, it’s Arthur. But that’s a cheeky nickname. Will’s enjoying taking the piss out of him as much as I usually do. Anyways, we can, uh, meet up with them if you like? It’s within walking distance, which I suppose is why Arthur might have suggested it.”
“Yeah. I mean, we can talk while we walk?” Merlin’s cheeks warmed beneath Gwaine’s heavy lidded gaze. He was well aware that he’d absolutely give into the temptation of something more if they stayed alone in this room much longer.
“Good plan. I think we definitely need to avoid bedrooms for a little while,” Gwaine mused, a grin still very present on his lips. He rose to his feet and reached down to adjust himself, which Merlin looked away from because, dear lord, even he only had so much control.
Still, lust and desire aside, Merlin reached out for Gwaine’s hand. However soulmate magic had come into existence, Merlin was very glad for it, because it had brought him to Gwaine. And who couldn’t be thankful for something as beautiful as that?