Work Text:
“That is enough!” Kiyo slammed her hands on the table, shooting up from her chair.
Nine sets of eyes snapped to her in surprise. The Scions were seated around the table in Kiyo’s room in the Baldesion Annex where they had been sharing at least one meal a day since returning from the sea of stars.
“Kiyo?” G’raha’s tone was confused, and oh that rankled.
“I didn’t ask you to fetch me a drink, sit back down.”
“I just don’t want you to wear yourself out.” His eyebrows and ears drew down, the picture of concern.
“I can make it to the godsdamned kitchen just fine on my own, Raha. You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot. We’ve talked about this.” She glowered at the redhead.
“I know you can love, but I want to do this for you.”
“That’s the problem! You want to do EVERYTHING for me! I can take care of myself, for Thaliak’s sake!” She crossed her arms. They’d had this conversation privately. Several times now. Fuck it, maybe the public rebuke will get through to him.
“Why are you being stubborn about this? It’s a drink.” G’raha mirrored her posture.
In the corner of her eye, Kiyo saw the several of the others staring with wide eyes. She and Raha never fought, and their combined stubbornness was likely a bit scary when provoked in anger. Their faces would have made her laugh, but this had been too long in coming to be so easily derailed.
“It’s not the drink, it’s the motivation behind it. You have been coddling me to the extreme ever since Ultima Thule, which I remind you happened more than a moon ago!” Kiyo was glaring now.
“You were dead when you appeared on the deck of the Ragnarok,” his voice broke but he continued. “Do you have any idea what it was like to see you like that? Broken, flayed, lifeless. Reviving you took every onze of aether we could spare, and even so it is a miracle that you are here now. The least you can do after putting me – putting us through that is allow us to help you.” His voice carried an odd combination of pain and anger, and his words pierced her heart.
Tears forming, Kiyo turned away. “The least I could do? After everything we’ve been through? After having to watch all of you sacrifice yourselves so I could go on – alone. Not knowing if I could get you back, not knowing if I could-” she choked on a sob, “not knowing if I could go on with my heart shattered. Carrying the weight of all your sacrifices and not knowing if I would be strong enough to see the fight through to the end.
“You were all so angry when I sent you away before fighting the Endsinger. How did you expect me to let any of you put yourselves in harms way after just getting you back? Could any of you have fought Zenos with me and lived? You – all of you – have treated me as no more than a tool at one point or another. How many times did you throw me into battle after battle with nothing between but a pat on the back and a clean pair of smalls?” She laughed bitterly, “I never complained. I never let anything stop me. I was never too weak to do anything. Now you lot decide I’m fragile and need careful handling, when all I want is to get on with my life!”
G’raha opened and closed his mouth. The rest of the Scion’s faces were a mix of emotions – confusion, sadness, guilt, shame. No one spoke.
It was the first time Kiyo had voiced any of these feelings and the sudden flood of emotions was overwhelming. She didn’t want to have this breakdown, didn’t want to have it in front of her family, didn’t want to be in this room or in this city. She began to gather aether around herself almost without thinking. “I’ll check in with the chirurgeons later. Don’t follow me.”
The room remained silent, Scions frozen in place, until well after the light of her teleportation spell faded.