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Bucky glanced sadly at Sam. The other man didn’t look back, he never did, never knew of the glances Bucky would often steal. Perhaps this time he was too shocked by the knife that had been in his leg to look back at him, that could be the problem.
Sam looked back up at Bucky in horror, the elder man seemed imposing in the moonlight. Or was the word gorgeous? Sam looked down at his bloody hands which were gripping the blade of a knife, slick with blood. His blood.
911 Bucky thought, I need to call 911. He looked at Sam again, perhaps looking at the younger for a moment too long. Focus, Bucky, he chided focus…
“B-Bucky?” Sam whispered. The words were slightly slurred together, he really was losing a lot of blood. Damn it, Sam cursed himself I’m losing too much blood… he blinked slowly, he felt as if he was moving through sap am I dying? He wondered Bucky’s gonna be mad
Bucky saw a tear streak down Sam’s cheek. Had Bucky done something wrong? One thing at a time he reminded himself, focus!
Sam saw Bucky’s brow furrow, why is he worried? Sam thought to himself Is It me? What did I do wrong…? His attention began to focus on other things why is everything so slow? I’m tired… I think Im gonna sleep
Bucky saw Sam’s eyes droop “Stay with me Sam” he said, trying not to show the fear in his eyes “don’t go to sleep, buddy” don’t go to sleep because I need you, just as i always have he thought to himself, Bucky didn’t dare say it out loud though
Sam tried to reassure Bucky that he was fine but it came out as slurred nonsense. Bucky put his phone up to his ear, he looked like if an angel and a devil had a child, it would be Bucky, Sam thought as he stared at his friend in the moonlight. Fuck, if i hadn't been stabbed maybe i could’ve asked him out, Sam thought with no small amount of grief, but no, i had to get fucking stabbed in the leg. But hey, at least Bucky is looking at me now!
shit, shit, shit, shit! Bucky thought as he waited for the ambulance to come. if only I’d protected him better! Bucky looked at Sam, suddenly thinking: this would be a pretty damn romantic place under different conditions. He banished the thought. No, he told himself, Sam is fucking straight, so stop thinking about it! but those lips... another part of his mind countered. Bucky was tempted to agree with the second part of his mind when he noticed how glazed over Sam's eyes were...
Sam woke up in a blindingly white hospital. He blinked a few times before the world came into focus. what happened? he sluggishly thought why am I… oh fuck it all came back to him.
Bucky ran a finger up the edge of his knife, wanting to ram it through whoever had stabbed Sam. They will fucking die he reassured himself. Bucky glanced up for the billionth time, to see the door to Sam’s room. he felt anger come up within him how couldn't they let him see Sam!
Why does being stabbed hurt so much? Sam asked himself, I don’t remember it being this bad last time. Then again, last time I had just seen Riley… a nurse came in and looked at a screen by his bed. Sam took the opportunity to take in his surroundings. Sam had an IV in his arm, he was on a white bed in a white room Wow, Sam thought to himself this amount of white seems very necessary. "You're not going to ask about your boyfriend?" the nurse asked. Sam just laughed his boyfriend... if only... his smile melted off his face
Bucky chewed his lip why am i still here? he asked himself why don't i just leave? he looked at the blank white wall, Bucky had assumed that hospitals would've changed a bit in the past 80 years, but they hadn't really. Still have to wait for permission to gain entry. Bucky looked at the ceiling this could be a LONG wait.
"he isn't your boyfriend?" the nurse asked, seemingly confused "he should be, you clearly like each other" Sam could feel a blush creeping up his cheeks wait... 'clearly like each other?' this raises a few questions, is it that obvious? And 'each other'? that implies that she thinks that Bucky likes me back, wait… does Buck like me back? the last question made Sam blush even more, making him very glad that Bucky wasn't with them "He's" Sam started to say "he's not my boyfriend, but you can let him in" the nurse nodded, she doesn't believe me Sam thought to himself this could end very badly
a nurse exited Sam's room, causing Bucky to look up with unfounded hope. control yourself! he sternly told himself, then; i really need to come clean to Sam, even if it end our relationship. wait... what if it ends our relationship! i can't do that! i'd rather lie to him then have to leave! besides, if Sam found out he might kick me out of our apartment, then i wouldn't have anywhere to live. it's gonna come out eventually, and wouldn't Sam prefer it if you say it yourself? A small part of him asked but the apartment! Bucky mentally gave himself a stink-eye. he was really bad at arguing with himself. "Are you listening?" the nurse asked. Bucky looked up, feeling slightly embarrassed. "you can go in" she said and promptly walked away, shoes clicking against the white ground
Sam felt his heart leap to his throat as Bucky came in the room. I really need to tell him… Sam told himself but what if Bucky denies you? Sam took a deep breath well then i'd roll with the punches, just like i always have. what's the worst that could happen? Bucky could be homophobic, or maybe he would kick you out of the house. Bucky would never! Would he though…? Sam bit his lip, noticing Bucky was too, not that he'd been looking at Bucky's lips or anything... Sam quickly averted his eyes and willed himself not to blush. he was so hopeless...
don't run, don't run! Bucky repeated to himself, feeling a large urge to just sprint away and hide. Sam wouldn't find him, no one would. Shuri would. a part of him whispered shut the fuck up. Bucky almost didn't notice the silence in the room. almost. he'd been so far lost in his thoughts that... why is Sam looking down? Bucky followed his gaze to see nothing, he couldn't help himself as his gaze came back up, his eyes lingered on some parts of Sam, he didn't feel very proud.
"'lo" Sam said quietly. Bucky didn't respond for a while, making Sam unsure if his... boyfriend had heard him. "don't do that again" Bucky practically growled at Sam, who shivered slightly. No, Sam thought there is a time and a place, and this is neither. But it could be... Wow, he really needed to stop arguing with himself "Do what?" Sam asked back "get stabbed, cause that's pretty much in the job description" oh no, Sam thought to himself as he saw Bucky's lips tighten should i not've said that?
"i meant freak me out" Bucky said, standing stiffly in the doorway. Sam smirked "oh, I'm sorry, i'll consult you every time i have to do anything, Old Man." Bucky pressed his lips even tighter together why do i even put up with this man? he asked himself because you like him another part of him replied. "be sure you do" Bucky replied "and don't get shot you asshole." Sam's eyebrow quirked up "did i scawe you, you sweet widdle baby?" sweet little baby Bucky wistfully thought, thinking of both his younger sister and how he longed for Sam to be his
is he okay? Sam thought as Bucky fell to silence once again did i really scare him that bad? he bit his lip there's no way i could've. he is-or was, technically- the fucking winter soldier, there's no way that i could've scared the fucking winter soldier! yet Bucky did seem to be quite shaken. perhaps the baby comment was too far. "on the bright side, i can go home" Sam said, trying to cheer his friend up a few years ago i would've been sad to call him my friend Sam reflected i guess i am now too, just for a very different reason. he looked away from Bucky, because he needed to focus and not on Buck's face.
Bucky watched Sam look away am i going too hard on him? he asked himself should i... "When can you go?" Bucky interrupted his thoughts. Sam shrugged "anytime." does he not want to talk to me? Bucky asked himself is that why he only used a one-word answer? is that why he looked away? is that-wow, this is really bad he paused for a second and took a long breath to focus himself was i always this bad? "As in you can go now?" Bucky asked. Sam nodded to the crutches next to his bed "I mean, I've got crutches for a while and I'm gonna be stuck in bed for a while but... yeah"
Sam repeated the words he'd just said in his head I'm gonna be stuck in bed for a while... stuck in bed for a while... for a while... the words seemed to register in Bucky's head "So... no missions then?" Bucky asked, Sam looked down, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself "maybe it'll teach you to be careful next time" Bucky said with a smirk, but Sam could still see the concern hidden in it. Bucky cares Sam realized, well, he didn't realize really, he'd already known, but it really just set in he really does care for me. Sam felt his breath catch does he care for me like... he banished the thought, he was from the fucking 40s! the 40s weren't tolerant times, so stop your stupid daydreams and get your head in the game! But maybe it's a possibility... perhaps he'd entertain the notion later when he was in (ugh) *bedrest,* Sam got bored at the mention of it.
Bucky watched Sam's face, it was fascinating, seeing the man's expressions change as he thought of whatever he was thinking about. Sam suddenly shook his head and grabbed his crutches “Okay, let’s go”
Both their faces were bright red as they entered the house. Bucky noticed this as Sam sat down on the couch in their shared apartment. A few months ago they realized that it would be easier and cheaper to just get an apartment in Brooklyn together instead of having to coordinate flights on missions and all of that shit.
Sam felt completely exposed as he sank into the couch. ”you two look so nice together!” a nurse had said as they left ”oh? You aren’t” she had frowned after seeing their confused faces ”we’ll you should be!” then she had winked. Winked! who the fuck even winks?! Sam thought angrily, okay maybe she wasn’t totally incorrect, but still!
“the nerve of that nurse.” Bucky growled as he turned around. “Are you blushing?” Sam tentatively asked. Am i blushing? Bucky thought, probably making him blush harder. Sam smirked “oh god, you are!” Bucky’s eyes widened “No I’m not!”
time to take a shot in the dark, Sam nervously thought to himself “i mean,” he said “she wasn’t completely wrong, was she?” Sam cautiously smirked. Bucky froze up, probably just taking time to absorb the words. Please don’t let this be the greatest mistake of my life! Sam prayed desperately shit! I shouldn’t‘ve said that! I should’ve just kept my huge mouth shut! Damn it!
oh god, did Sam just say that? Bucky thought to himself was he lying? Does he really…? Could he really…? Bucky slowly walked over to Sam “Can you sit up?” He slowly asked. Sam slowly sat up “I’m sorry I shouldn’t-“ Bucky cut him off with a kiss
oh fuck… Sam thought did he just…? Bucky slowly pulled back “consent” Sam said. Bucky smirked “well I ain’t sorry.” “Go fuck yourself then” Sam jokingly said as he pulled Bucky close again. “Well I’d rather fuck you” Bucky mumbled as he kissed Sam