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"Jason, man, why are you giving us the cold shoulder?" Percy asked in a pleading tone. "You act nothing like you did in Reyna's stories!"
Jason replied in the a small voice. "She mentioned me?"
"Oh course she did, they couldn't forget their former Praetor." Percy stated matter-of-factly. Something in that sentence struck a nerve in Jason.
"Is that all I am to them?" Jason asked, deadly calm. He unwrapped his arms from around himself.
"What- what do you mean?" Percy questioned. Jason didn't bother to give a reply.
"No, really, what's wrong?" Percy reached out to him but Jason recoiled and hissed like it burned him.
"All they care about is my title..?" He asked, then let out a sudden laugh lacking any mirth. "Oh what am I talking about? Of course they don't care!" Percy backed away wearily from him. Concerned by the hysterical cackling.
"They'll never care because I can never live up to my countless labels. 'Son of Jupiter,' 'Toppler of the Black Throne,' 'Slayer of Krios,' 'Destoryer of the Trojan Sea Monster,' 'Champion of Juno,' 'Hero of Olympus,' 'Pontifex Maximus,' All these things I have to uphold and I can't. They don't refer to me as just my name for a fucking reason, Percy." Jason fumed, desperately wiping off tears cascading down his face.
"What truly am I without them, Percy? What the hell am I?! What did Reyna tell you about me? Was it my prowise? That she only loved me from afar, like an ideal? Only as my damn accomplishments? Did- did she tell you anything about my personality other than 'selfless hero', Percy?" His voice slowly became quieter the more into his monologue he got. He sounded more distraught by the end. It didn't seem he was just angry at Percy, something else was churning inside him. And Percy had no idea what it was.
Jason inhaled and exhaled to calm himself enough to be presentable again, something he always prioritized. "They say names have power, Jackson," Jason started again, keeping his voice as monotone as possible. Something about the fact he used Percy's last name broke Percy's heart.
"And mine is never used a person, because I'm not, am I?" I'm a weapon was silently heard between them.
"Ever since I entered Camp Jupiter with Juno looming over, I could never be just a new camper. I was more than that, I was special. On and on the titles kept piling on. Less and less was I known as anything but each new one. I was especially Son of Jupiter and Pontifex Maximus. I was the perfect candidate, heh, perfect wonder why." Percy had always wondered why he tried so hard, it seemed like nitpicking. Everything had to be perfect with no exceptions with Jason, it was pretty obnoxious at times.
"I try so hard to make them see me, but no matter how much I try I fail. Always stuck in this hampster wheel, keeping on the golden boy facade. And it hurts like nothing in the world sometimes, and yet I don't let go." Jason slid into a chair around the dining room table. He drew circles into the wood with his finger, it was obviously to distract himself from the thoughts bouncing in every corner of his head. Why is he telling this stranger about his problems? What if Percy convinces them to leave him after the war has settled? ..all over again? ...rinse and repeat... Always circles... The circles didn't distract him though, it was a futile attempt to get away from them in the first place anyway.
"I am nothing without my titles, Percy," Jason swallowed a lump in his throat. "And you've taken all am."
Percy stood there, absolutely dumbfounded. This was why? But what did that mean? Percy unknowingly let out one small word. "...what?"
Jason let out another maniacal laugh. He leaned over the table, clutching his abdomen. Percy tried to smile at this behavior, but he knew it wasn't friendly banter. He was laughing to cope.
"Do you want me to spell it out for you?" Jason asked.
"Yes..?" It sounded more like a question than an answer.
"Thalia and I's mother is Beryl Grace. She...wasn't the best person per say," He heard a whiskey bottle shatter, but it had to be in his head. "but that's not the point. The point is that Hera, or more accurately Juno, demanded that she give me up to pay for fiddling around with Jupiter. And so she left me, at the ripe age of three, to the wolves." Percy's eyes widened. He knew about this from Thalia, yet it was weird hearing it said from Jason himself. The lines on his wrist clearly reflected he was three when he arrived at Camp Jupiter but it was hard to fully grasp. He was twelve when he arrived at Camp Half-Blood, he was three and sent to a military camp.
"After that, I had no family to cling to. But plenty of demigods don't have that, so I shouldn't complain. That didn't soothe me though. I felt like I did something wrong to deserve that in particular. It had to be something, so if I put on this golden boy facade they won't leave. If I accomplish so much and be a prodigy, the golden child of Jupiter, they won't leave. Yet they still leave eventually, they always leave me behind. Tell me Percy, why am I ruining every relationship I have...?" If Percy wasn't guilty before, he was overflowing with guilt then. This kid had been through the same wars as him and tried ro keep a levelhead. But now he had finally cracked. He couldn't take the pressure and Percy ached seeing someone so lost and alone.
"And then, I finally see Thalia again after 12 years. Who is she looking for? You. Fucking you. Everyone was looking for you. And when I come back to Camp Jupiter they merely acknowledge me. You take my place, and they toss me aside. I am always replacable and I always have. When they got the chance I was discarded because I am never good enough for anyone. What the fuck am I doing wrong?!" Jason yelled, hands thrown wildly in the air. Percy gazed at him. His cheeks were flushed red and he had tears scattered across his face. He must've been very dehydrated.
Percy decided to do something impulsive.
He lunged over to Jason and tackled him in a bear hug. This time it was Jason's turn to be surprised. Percy mumbled a few words into his ear. "It's not your fault, I'm so sorry."
These words broke loose the last bit of a dam Jason was keeping up. Jason collapsed into Percy's arms and started sobbing and heaving into his shoulder. Percy rubbed his back and murmured more apologies to Jason.
The boy who had always comforted his friends during times of peril, had finally been comforted himself.
"Thank you," Jason whispered.
"Thank you for telling me." Percy replied.
The boy felt safe, it was a strange feeling but a pleasant one. He didn't know what to do so he just sunk into Percy's arms.
He was good enough, and Percy wanted him to believe that.
Maybe one day he would.