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Despair Within Dung (A Great Knight's Mourning)

Summary:

Ogrim would have been content to stay within the Royal Waterways forever, forever guarding Isma's Grove. Yes, he longed to see his friends again, he longed for them every day, hoping against hope that they would one day meet again, but he hoped that one day they would come to him on their own, for he knew he could not leave this place to seek them out, bound by an oath and all. But one day, a certain little vessel shows him a flower he's VERY familiar with, and everything changes...

AKA: Wholesome Dung Himbo goes though the five stages of grief. In case you hadn't figured out this was angst. It's angst.

Chapter 1: Denial

Chapter Text

Within the center of the once great kingdom of Hallownest there lay a city, upon which water constantly rained down from above, its source known to few. However, the city was not flooded, still in surprisingly good condition considering the constant battering rain and the disaster that had befell it long ago. So where did all the water go? The answer was simple: it drained into the city’s sewers, flooding the complex network of pipes and waterways and mixing together with the waste contained within to form a rancid-smelling liquid that could be found all throughout the tunnels. But toxic water was not the only thing found within the city’s waterways, for deep within, nestled in a mound of brown, awful-smelling waste lay a bug, one of the few sane ones still left within this maze-like area filled with hostile husks of long dead creatures and inhabited by monstrous parasitic worms that lived only to kill and breed, not necessarily in that order. His name was Ogrim, but he was the only one who knew that name anymore. The few that survived encounters with him referred to him as “The Dung Defender” although what he defended was a mystery who’s answer only the defender himself knew. His duty was somewhat pointless now, but he refused to accept that reality. For if no-one truly inhabited that garden, then that would mean…no, it couldn’t be true! She knew that place, she had lived there for years and years, there was no way she could have perished in her home territory, not while he still lived! Oh, how he so badly wanted to see her, wanted to come charging in and embrace her after so long of being alone, with no-one to comfort him except for the statues he kept within his home. Oh, how he wished she could see the statues, how he wished all of them could! If they could see them, if they could see him again…he wished he could apologize for letting this happen. No, he could still apologize! There was still hope, there had to be! Even alone, his allies were too mighty to have perished to the weak creatures that now lived within the land in great hordes! They would repel any and all attacks on their persons with extreme prejudice, and not let it halt their search for him…surely, they had to be searching, didn’t they? They wouldn’t let him die here alone, they were too pure for that, too loyal! Yes, they were searching for him now, he could feel it in his exoskeleton, they were scouring the kingdom for any traces of his presence, fighting tooth, nail and claw to save him from a terrible fate! A voice in the back of his head fought back against this idea, saying lies and slander against the knights. If they were really looking for you, wouldn’t they have found you by now? Hallownest isn’t that large, and they’re quite accomplished at search and rescue missions. Either they’ve completely forgotten about you, abandoned you for the slime you are, or-

“NO!” he shouted, slamming his foot down against the soggy muck that made up the ground and punching a nearby dung ball so hard that it went flying off into the distance until it eventually slammed into the wall and shattered into a million pieces of disgusting, stinky shit. “They haven’t forgotten, they’re looking for me right now! If I just stay where I am, and keep guarding the grove, then the rest of them will find me! Then I can finally go see Isma again…”

He let out a loud, long and somber sigh that echoed throughout the room, and gazed longingly toward the tunnel that he knew led to Isma’s Grove. He had promised never to go that way, never to falter in his guard of the grove. He had to stay put at this entrance, no matter how much he wanted to inside and see his dear beloved Isma again…he missed her so much, sometimes he thought his heart would shatter into pieces, and he would perish from the experience. But it never happened, and so he stood guard, determined to keep the promise he had made to her until they met again, for he knew that someday, no matter what that voice in the back of his mind thought, they WOULD meet again. He knew not why she chose to stay within that grove forever, not ever leaving to visit him, but he knew that she must have a good reason. After all, staying within that grove for such a long time was hardly different from what he still continued to do now, and he knew his reasoning for staying here was solid as a pillar of stone. But he hardly had time to think about this, as he heard footsteps approaching rapidly from the left entrance. Prepared for combat, he dug a dung ball out of the ground and readied himself to throw it at whatever potential foe might be coming his way, only to chuck it off to the side when he realized that the approaching figure was not an intruder, but a friend he had once mistaken for an enemy, and now knew as a loyal ally. He put aside his inner struggles and temptations for now, not wanting to displease or scare away this person he had only just developed a friendship. 

“Ah, hello there friend! What brings you into my domain once again? I’m pleased to see you all the same, but intrigued as to why you might come back here. Most people don’t seem to like the smell, although I can’t imagine why.” he said in the usual hearty tone that he adopted when speaking to those few still sapient bugs he encountered in the waterways. His friend, a small, extremely pale bug dressed in a gray cloak, did not respond to the question. Instead, from somewhere within the aforementioned cloak, they withdrew a delicate, pure white flower, which although it provided no real illumination, seemed to shine with some sort of unearthly power all the same, at least in Ogrim’s eyes. That flower…he knew that flower. He had seen it and its kind many times before, within the garden that Ze’mer carefully cultivated in the back of her mansion…how had this little one gotten it? They could only have obtained it from Ze’mer, surely, which meant…

“You…you have her flower.” he gasped. Then, he grabbed the small figure by its horns, lifting it up so that it was properly face to face with him and gazing into its blank, pure black eyes. “You must have met her! Where is she, what is she doing, is she with the others? Tell me, tell me now! Please! PLEASE!” 

However, as usual, the odd figure was completely and totally silent, not speaking a single word to answer the defender’s desperate question.

“Please, it’s the only way you could have obtained that flower…I need to know where she is? Is she close by? Is she moving toward me? Is anyone else with her? Please, tell me she’s coming for me! She has to be! She HAS TO!” he begged. “Please, answer me! Answer me now! ANSWER!” 

And yet, the little pale bug was silent. Giving up, Ogrim gently placed it back down upon the ground, and turned once again towards the entrance to Isma’s Grove, gazing at it as he pondered the question now roaring in his mind, unable to be ignored.

“Ze’mer…she’s out there, I know it, I can feel it, this flower is proof…but how did that little one obtain it from her? What has happened to her? Where is she? I need to know!” he cried, stomping the ground with one foot, the foot in question sinking a few inches into the dung from the force before he pulled it out again. “I have to find out, I need to, I must…but I can’t leave Isma! Doing that…doing that would betray her! I can’t betray her, I can’t…I have to see her again, but when we do…how will she still love me if I break my word as a knight? If I’m not an honorable knight of Hallownest, then what am I? I’m….I’m nothing! But Ze’mer…I can’t just leave her like this! I need to find her! But I can’t abandon the grove…it must be guarded…what can I do…?” 

He let out another sigh, falling to his knees as tears began to form in his eyes. However, he did not stay this way for long, as an idea came to him, lighting a fierce fire within his soul as he saw hope on the horizon. He leaped to his feet, and turned back to face his pale friend, who was still standing where he had left him, staring at the defender with apparent curiosity, although since its expression never seemed to change, it was hard to tell. 

“You!” he bellowed, his usual jolly tone returning as he saw salvation for his cause. “As you’ve heard, I cannot leave Isma’s Grove unguarded without violating my honor as a knight, a crime worse than the most egregious blasphemy! However, I swore only that the grove would never be unguarded, not that I would be the one to guard it. Do you see what I am getting at?” 

There was a short pause, then the pale bug nodded. 

“Excellent! In case you misunderstand my meaning, here is my plan. In order to find Ze’mer, I must venture outside these waterways, which normally would break my oath. However, this is where you come in. You are a skilled warrior, that I know from experience, more than strong enough to guard the grove while I venture out, therefore fulfilling my oath while allowing me to search for Ze’mer. That is the plan, at least. Will you take up the sacred duty in my name, and guard the grove for me?”

There was another, longer pause as the pale bug seemed to think over the request, then it nodded again.

“YES! EXCELLENT!” Ogrim bellowed so loudly it shook the tunnel they were within, his voice filled with pure joy. “It begins now! Guard the entrance, little one, and do not let ANYONE inside, no matter who they may be! Fight them to the death if you have to! Do not fail me, and I shall see you again when I return!” 

With that, he dived headfirst into the dung, digging a new tunnel with force and vigor he had rarely possessed before. He was headed for the waterway exit, with one single purpose in his mind: to see Ze’mer again. He cared not what it took, he would fight with every fiber of his being if it meant being rewarded with a knight’s reunion! And so, onward he tunneled, until he eventually burst out of the surface in a place he had not visited in quite a long time. He could see light shining down from a circular exit not too far above, which he knew led to the streets of the city he knew so well. This was his last chance to go back, to take back his choice, to go back to the guarantee that he would never break his knight’s vow, protecting Isma’s Grove until the day he shuffled off this mortal coil…but he knew what he was on the verge of now could be a breakthrough. If he could find Ze’mer, then everything would change. With Ze’mer’s help, he could find the rest of the knights, and gather them together again! They would be whole again, a mighty group like they used to! And this time, NOTHING would split them apart! Yes, he could see it now, a bright shining future…they would rebuild Hallownest together, all five of them, brick by brick! And he knew that path to that future was that light shining down on him now, the entrance to the city above and his key to the outside world, and so, despite the voice in his head telling him to retreat, he leaped upwards towards the light with incredible force and speed, and into a city drowned in tears…